The following review that you’re about to read, came about purely by chance, as, the band and album in question were not even on my radar, let alone my infinite list of shit to listen to. No, today’s review can be credited to Nikki Smash, who I write content for over at RIFF YARD MEDIA. Courtesy of ONE EYED TOAD RECORDS, SaN PR forwarded Nikki the upcoming debut album from Hertfordshire based metal outfit RAZE, entitled “Pyrography”, scheduled for release on July 28th, and he himself gave it the review for the RYM website. (Check that out here). 

So, you may be wondering where I come into it? Nikki has a brilliant mind and is a very smart dude when it comes to the music industry, but review writing isn’t something he does a great deal of, and so he asked me for my opinion on his review, because he felt he may have been a bit too harsh, or, blunt? You’re probably thinking, then why the fuck did he ask me of all people? Good question, but I read it over, and it was a very well put together, professionally critical piece of reviewing, that had no issues with its content whatsoever.  

He was worrying about nothing essentially. I always say if you genuinely think something, commit it to pen, no point in watering down integrity. This is where I then said, casually, it could have been worse, I could have reviewed it! We laughed, then it dawned on me that, I have a blog of my own, which brings us to the here and now. So, with that being said; if Nikki thought HE was being harsh, well, someone hold my beer damnit. New question; will this Raze to the occasion and impress me, or is this pyro going to go up like the Grenfell Tower; a poorly planned tragedy? Let’s find out... 

We open with “Maple”, but don’t expect bacon and pancakes, this ain’t no breakfast of champions. We get a deep, brooding guitar led opening with light cymbal's littering the background, before a more surging dose of melodic metal sweeps through, and it’s promising. The clean vocals have a very delicate baritone, before Louis Dunham takes off with a soaring chorus section. The ALTER BRIDGE and TREMONTI influences plain to see, and it's going well...before the growling. As it happens, the band threw LAMB OF GOD down as an influence too, so naturally the best thing to do is combine everything, and squeal like a rabid pig over parts of a generally decent song, ruining the ever-loving fuck out of it. It doesn’t fit, it does neither the track or Louis any favours, and is delivered with about as much grace as a coat hanger abortion.  

Follow up track “Better Off Alone” starts off harnessing more of a core heavy metal style, channelling further influences like MACHINE HEAD, but it also has an air of PANTERA to it in places. The heavier, guttural vocals do feel more at home here, as the instrumentation is more befitting of such a brutal approach; it isn’t jarring in any way, and the cleaner notes compliment the growls much better here. An admittedly sluggish, plodding riff carries the bulk of the track, and the guitar solo is sadly lost in a barrage of audible throat cancer, while drummer Ethan Morter smashes his plates like a bull in a China shop. Way overlayered here and it’s another potential highlight spoiled. 

Next up we have their most recent single “Roachman”, and this could be considered an album highlight. When they focus on clean melody, and incorporate their Southern-tinged hard rock, they actually have something decent going, as individually it is clear they are all incredibly competent performers and musicians, all of the potential is there, but there seems to be this need for everyone to be in the limelight, and these tracks at some point or another feel clustered and congested. Again, guttural vocals not necessary here, bringing the track down, and this one simply feels like two different tracks trying to work at once. Oh, and we HAVE to mention the video. Part live performance footage from their local town hall with all eleventeen people in attendance, part stop-motion claymation footage. Remember when CKY had that video for “Inhuman Creation Station” that was all stop-motion, that Bam directed? Yeah, this isn’t that. This is more like, Morph from “SMart”, but Mark Speight sculpted him AFTER he hung himself... 

The rest of the album finds itself in a bit of a pattern creatively. “C. Exigua” contains some quality guitar work and a pleasant solo, while “...Again” takes things too far, over-delivering on the fret-wankery, almost trying too hard. “Mellow Breeze” utilises some more crooned vocals for a slight change of pace but it’s quite anti-climactic, while “W.B.C.” again is very heavily layered in production. There is a lot going on here and we find another track blended in a messy, convoluted headache. Closing track “Blue Sky Vengeance” does have some enjoyable, funky bass lines that stand out because you can actually hear them here, but that’s about it for that. 

As stated, as musicians, these lads can very obviously play, and they are more than technically proficient. Yes, it’s their debut album, yes, they want all the bells and whistles and yes, they have the potential to deliver some genuinely strong material in the probably near future, but they need to rein it in a little and understand less can be more. A lot of the time they don’t allow each other room to breathe, and the result is an often time needlessly noisy album. “Pyrography” sounds like a combination of pyromania and pornography...which I guess they think is hot by some means of a burning passion? It’s more like gonorrhea if you ask me; treatable but best not to have it in the first place...[4] 

I’ve said it before but, when we think about alternative music in South Wales, we automatically go to Cardiff and the valleys feeding the capital, as let's be honest, we’ve been spoiled for choice. From Merthyr Tydfil and THE BLACKOUT, who have just recently reformed ahead of Download, (Their hometown comeback show sold out quicker than you can ask Sean Smith S’appenin? Purely ironically) to Blackwood and the MANIC STREET PREACHERS, down through Pontypridd and the LOSTPROPHETS. Granted that last one is a sheep so black not even the most woke Welshman would associate...but, I digress.  

However, what about Newport? TJ’s was often cited as one of the best live venues to ever exist in the UK, they’ve given us Diverse Vinyl, the UK’s largest source of new vinyl records, they’ve given us FEEDER, there’s a whole lot of gas left in SKINDRED’s helicopter, and, we can’t be forgetting those comedic rap terrorists GOLDIE LOOKIN’ CHAIN. It’s 2023 now; your mother could very well have that penis. Newport has been overlooked let’s be fair, and today’s band are hoping to grab some attention for Wales’ third largest city. Let me introduce you to CRISIS TALKS. 

The three-piece, consisting of vocalist David Lloyd Chapman, guitarist and peddle wizard Mark William Squire, and drummer James Clement are preparing to release their debut album; “Heavy The Heart”, on June 15th. David got in touch with me recently asking me to attend a launch show, at the Little Taphouse; Newport, but I was sadly double booked. The least I could do however, would be to agree to give the album a listen and a little write up. The question is, will I be having crisis talks with myself after listening to this album? Let’s find out... 
 
We open up with the track “Dancer”, but truth be told I’m not moving a muscle. OK that’s a little harsh. We’ve got a solid dose of classic, riff-rich hard rock, with some rather funk-laden bass and assertive percussion, leading this admittedly rhythmic track. Vocally here David is interesting as, he finds himself somewhere between Daron Malakian and Benjamin Kowalewicz tonally in places. It’s got a mellow transitional section which keeps things interesting, and ultimately, it’s a decent start. 

Follow up track “Dark Cold War” houses a far grittier, angst-riddled feel, with groove aplenty in the bluesy, hard rock instrumentation and off-kilter, semi-prog inspired delivery. Slicker in production too, despite the slightly stop-start approach vocally, and again we have another similarly placed mellow filler section dividing the track. That intro though, minimal but very effective; catchy simplicity. 

Sticking to the meatier offerings, we’ve got “Submission”, and we have some light and subtle 90’s grunge aesthetics at play, amidst a back-drop of almost tribal percussion, and some of the albums cleanest, melodic vocal displays. As it progresses, we again find them groove-rich in presentation, so credit to the trio for their consistency. “Undone” has a more vibrant, almost indie-inspired alt.rock vibe to it, and here, especially vocally, it reminds in parts of PLACEBO. This is certainly an album highlight. David, on purpose or not here, has this nasally twang that pays homage to Brian Molko in the sincerest way, it’s actually more entertaining than Placebo’s newest album. It wouldn’t sound out of place on “Sleeping With Ghosts” frankly. 

Speaking of spooks, “Ghosts” champions a far softer, acoustic approach from the three-piece initially, but does descend into flutters of more metallic fret-work, while “Monsters” takes that acoustic influence and channels the likes of JEFF BUCKLEY, which is praise indeed. Not as tortured poetically, not as vulnerable vocally, David isn’t quite that open book, but this is damn close. Finally, then we finish up on “Soundcheck”, and we’ve got ourselves a lovely, sombre guitar ballad, with emotive instrumentation and a legitimately moving guitar solo. 

When I walked into this album, I didn’t know what to expect. Without wanting to shit on my own doorstep, a lot of the more “local” artists that have come my way haven’t left me truly inspired. Take my recent PENNY RICH review for RIFF YARD MEDIA for example. But, while this album isn’t perfect per se, there’s plenty of character and style here to ensure these succeed live, there’s already that certain raw quality to these tracks, and they are bound to translate well in a live setting.  

The song-writing capability and conception is there artistically, I just think they need the chance to get out there more, and truly hone their sound, as there is a lot of potential in this trio. The only crisis talks need to be about growth, commitment and dedication, as these three could do well for themselves among the current wave of UK festival regulars. “Heavy The Heart” is an emotional, back to basics rock record with some good ideas and, the only fresher thing coming out of Newport right now, is the heroin. [6] 

It’s weird, right? We’re at the arse end of 2022, and Covid still crops up in the conversation regarding bands plans and ideas. Typically, you’d find that bands were a bit lost, because tours were cancelled, so they’d push some extra exclusive merch to compensate, or …they’d work on a cheeky EP to tide fans over, or even just jump straight into writing their next album. But oh no, not LORDI...

The Finnish Eurovision favourites decided fuck it; following 2020’s “Killection”, they weren’t going to get to work on the next album, or even a double-album, no, that’s too uninspired; unoriginal and quite frankly boring. The band decided to work on a concept BOX-SET, of SEVEN consecutive new and original albums,  between 2021-2022 under the banner of “Lordiversity”.  

A modern, retroactive time-capsule, it spans multiple genres, eras and sounds, spanning decades, covering the growth and evolution in fashionable rock ’n’ roll, but with that beastly, Lordi twist. The question is; can a bunch of pantomime shock rockers pull off such a feat? Let’s find out, as we plough through these 78 tracks, wishing they could have settled for an EP... 

The series starts off with “Skelectric Dinosaur” and we find ourselves back in the late 1970’s, where rock music was at that initial turning point. That transition between the more innocent, formative rock ‘n’ roll, swing and more blues influenced styles, to what we now refer to separately as classic rock.  It opens up with “SCG Minus 7: The Arrival” and with its church organs, haunting wails and children's giggles, telling you that “Monsters are coming” …it’s quite the creepy introduction. This however leads us into disappointment, as we’re greeted with first track proper; “Day Off Of The Devil”.  

Musically absolutely fine for the style they are going for, imagine, KANSAS, or, ALICE COOPER or even BLUE OYSTER CULT, they’ve nailed that classic guitar tone and recording quality, credit to them, and it’s a decent, chilled out rock track, however the intro promised something a lot more sinister. The question is, how DOES the devil spend his days off? Is he there with a bowl of Coco Pops, sat on the couch in his pyjamas watching Disney+ on a Saturday morning? Who knows.... who cares...not me.  

“Starsign Spitfire” has a very slow, plodding pace to it, while it does have some decent backing vocal harmonies elevating the chorus. “The Tragedy Of Annie Mae” has a very DEEP PURPLE-esque bass-line fuelling the track and it rumbles along nicely. We do eventually finish album one off with “...And Beyond The Isle Was Mary”, and we get a quaint, piano-filled piece with rainy sound effects, resulting in a gentle closing number.  They nailed the sound of the era and have delivered well here overall; it’s not a bad start. 

Next up we have the album “Superflytrap” and we transition rather quickly from the origins of rock and early metal, into the bright lights of the discotheque. The intro piece, “SCG Minus 6: Delightful Pop-Ins" is totes cringe babes, with the porn parody content. Some bimbo taking in the pizza guy, and the pool guy, like some seedy classic blue-movie plot-segue, until the monster breaks in and there’s screaming and terror, and it’s all a bit shit. I pray Asylum don’t read this; their movies are bad enough as it is... 

The actual opening tracks “Macho Freak” and “Believe Me” are a bit better. It’s not always easy to recreate that nostalgic disco/club vibe musically with it coming out authentic, but credit to a band like Lordi, they’ve managed it. The funk-fuelled synths, alongside the twangy guitars, in this day and age remind me of DEREK BISHOP if you’re interested in modern disco, and to be fair, the band, despite their appearance, don’t sound cheesy doing this. “Bella From Hell” capitalises on some genuinely soulful backing vocals, while “Cast Out From Heaven” tries to be a genuine ballad, and, let's be honest, the vocals do NOT suit this approach. This is too jarring.  

Where do we go from here?  Album number three; “The Masterbeast From The Moon”, and we enter prog-rock territory. Inspired by the likes of PINK FLOYD etc, it’s a more ambitious piece but do a band like Lordi have the ability to pull this off? Let’s get one thing straight here, no... the answer is no. “Moonbeast” utilises an almost GHOST-like character instrumentally but that’s genuinely as good as it gets. The praise ends here. “Hurricane Of The Slain” highlights this point as, the piano rich, orchestrally led strings of the track are gorgeous, but the clash with the gruff vocals absolutely ruins things. It’s all well and good trying new things musically, but when the vocals are so often stagnant, it has a detrimental effect on the entire project. “Church Of The Succubus” at over 11 minutes fits better in the whole prog-rock aesthetic, but even that can’t save this record.  

What do we have next? “Abusement Park”, and I can’t lie to you, I do love a play on words; this title tickles me. It reminds me of JOHNNY KNOXVILLE in the film “Action Point”, but I digress. The title track absolutely reeks of classic heavy metal with the pacing, the key transitions, the style of percussion, it’s got a semi-MOTORHEAD vibe to it as well as the likes of W.A.S.P., almost power-metal in places, and it’s very up-tempo and energetic. It can be a bit cheesy with some incredibly cliched names like “Ghost Train” and “Rollercoaster”, but it’s to be expected. “Carousel” has some wonderfully emotive, smooth, sensual guitar playing that reek of the 80’s, while “Pinball Machine” harbours this strong AC/DC, or, JUDAS PRIEST level of vocal screeching.  

“Nasty, Wild & Naughty” harbours all of that overdone rock ’n’ roll sleaze lyrically, despite being a catchy piece of rock with all of the cowbell, before “Merry Blah Blah Blah” comes out of the blue as a Christmas single. The bells and choirs are there, the Santa references are there... but do you know what is also there? Me, making Ebeneezer Scrooge feel uncomfortable with my lack of festive spirit. Pull a cracker, the joke will be this song, I promise. I mean, WHY?! 

Next up we have “Humanimals” and we’ve reached our more, BON JOVI and AOR inspired tracks, and it shows. Opening track proper “Borderline” has a real, I guess, bon-jovial vibe to it (I’m sorry) with its light, up-beat synths and almost hushed percussion. The chorus houses some smoother gang vocals and its honestly quite the pleasant little track instrumentally. “Victims Of The Romance” utilises a more guitar driven approach in comparison but it reeks of that, all-too parodied hair-metal era. If you choose to picture Lordi with mullets in spandex, well, that challenging wank is on YOU my friend. “The Bullet Bites Back” stands out with its genuinely sleek guitar tones, and especially it’s solo, before we revisit “Like A Bee To The Honey”. A decent piece (Written by KISS) but, two years old, and practically becoming filler at this point.  

Our penultimate album, “Abracadaver” leans further into the emergence of what we now fondly refer to as modern metal, with that transitional period, from the mid to late 1980’s into the 1990’s. Ignoring the now tedious intro bit, we dive into “Devilium”, and we’re met with a bombardment of riffs, old-school thrash metal aesthetics and vocals that could make onions cry. The title-track isn’t much better truth be told. You CAN hear “Big-4” elements but the track does eventually descend into utter fret-wankery. “Beast Of Both Worlds” is arguably as good as it gets on this one, with it’s very SLAYER-esque chugging riff-work and rhythmic snarls. Done well enough but, beyond dated. 

Finally, then, and oh how glad I am knowing this (Excited for this one? Hell no, I’m just glad this is over with), we round things up with “Spooky Sextravaganza Spectacular” and that name alone reeks of ROB ZOMBIE. “Demon Supreme” utilises darker synths and a semi-industrial aesthetic to give the ol' Dragula a right good rear ending. It’s a touch repetitive but it’s got an energy to it and reminds me of POWERMAN 5000 in ways. “Lizzard Of Oz” houses more chugging riffs, with a strong electronic core sound, something which a more industrial metal unit might partake-in.  

“Skull And Bones (The Danger Zone)” repeats this seemingly Rob Zombie inspired instrumental direction, with it sounding aesthetically very similar. “Shake The Baby Silent” is top quality parenting advice it has to be said, Mr. Lordi collecting his dad of the year award over here, well done. Skip the bottle feed, jump straight to infanticide. It took seven albums but we do actually get our first actual stand-out highlight in the form of “Terror Extra-Terrestrial”. The intro spoils it a little bit, with its E.T parody segue, but we get a frankly quirky piece of synth-driven hard rock, and it’s honestly rather catchy. We ultimately finish up very ironically however, with the track “Anticlimax”...and I’m not even going to make any jokes here, the audio speaks for itself. After seven albums, completing this seventy-eight-track endurance test has to be rewarded in some aspect surely? Not in the slightest. 

Lordi tried something different here; they have to applauded for their creative ambition, that’s without question. What DOES need to be questioned though, is why the hell they couldn’t do seven concept EP’s instead of seven full bloody albums? They could have very easily cherry-picked specific highlights, and made a far more digestible, and more importantly, enjoyable listening experience. Seventy-eight tracks, allows for far, far too much filler, and truth be told, fodder. They managed to occasionally hit certain spots musically, and instrumentally to diversify these albums into their genre’s, which is the entire point OF “Lordiversity” as a concept, but vocally they just aren’t capable of really delivering; it’s very one-dimensional for the most part, and that grates over time.

In summary... Monstrous? Check. Mediocre? Also check. If concept albums are your thing, love anthologies and collecting box-sets, or simply are a die-hard Lordi fan, you'll likely enjoy this for what it is. If you specifically like a certain style or genre, feel free to sift through your own preferences accordingly, you MIGHT get something out of it, but, as a complete package, this is at a level of grandiosity Lordi really shouldn't be dabbling in. For me? This review is finally over...give me a hard rock hallelujah! [4]

SPEAKING OF THE ROAD...BILLY IDOL makes his return to the UK in 2022 for a live arena tour, his first since 2018! The original rebellious poster boy hits six dates across the UK with special support from THE GO-GO'S to promote his new EP, as well as treating audiences to a plethora of classic hits and favourites. Tickets are available right now, via www.aegpresents.co.uk/events/detail/billy-idol - and to clarify, the dates and venues are as follows;

Saturday June 11th - Glasgow, SSE Hydro
Monday June 13th - Manchester, AO Arena
Wednesday June 15th - Birmingham, Resorts World Arena
Saturday June 18th - London, SSE Arena Wembley
Sunday June 19th - Cardiff, Motorpoint Arena
​Tuesday June 21st - Leeds, First Direct Arena

We hope to see you all at the roadside next Summer...you'll find me at Cardiff.

It’s strange how certain things just stick with you as you grow up…for example, let’s say…North Carolina. Random, I know, like, I’ve never been there, I don’t have any family there, but embedded in my brain, is the fact that despite being born in Tennessee, Ric Flair comes from Charlotte, North Carolina (It’s a kayfabe thing). With that in mind, when a band slides into your email submissions stating that they too are from North Carolina, you instantly find yourself shouting “WOOOOO!” and knife-edge chopping everything in close proximity. (Excuse any following typo’s as I write this with a broken hand)

The band in question, are MIRROR POINT, who hail from Sanford and Cedar Creek, NC and consist of members Marc Killian, Travis Jones and Sketchy J. They recently got in touch with me asking me to check out their debut album “Shine On” which was released earlier this year through Mokovo Records. With an apparent variety of stylistic influences, let’s see if Mirror Point can mirror The Nature Boy, and be the limousine-ridin’, jet-flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin-dealin’ sons of  guns I personally hope they are.

​The mini-album opens up with “Winner Takes All” and we’re immediately met with some back-to-basics riffs and the typically clean yet, slightly bourbon coated vocals that make up your classic blues rock songbooks. It plods along really quite casually, quite middle of the road really before eventually picking up in intensity, exuding a more passionate instrumental display towards the tracks climax. It takes a minute or two to warm up but it gets there in the end. Not deserving of any winners medals, but it doesn’t come last either…it’s just taking part really. Next up we have a track called “PhenoBarbieDoll” and it’s one of their local radio successes. Another melodic, hard rocking blues-based number, it’s aimed at the trappings and troubles caused by social media; the anxiety it can give you trying to keep up appearances, the expectations of maintaining your plastic lifestyle, the fear of failure and the longing for fame. It’s quite a socially relevant track that has its points, but let’s not beat around the bush here the title is terrible. “PhenoBarbieDoll” sounds like a rip off, of a SyFy rip-off, of a straight to DVD Asylum rip-off of a low-budget “Annabelle” rip-off. We actually ran out of barrel to scrape…

​Looking further into some of their outside influences however, we get to another local radio success by the name of “Is This Was This”…I mean, if this WAS is and is was it wasn’t isn’t it? I thought so. A Latin/Hispanic fuelled little love song with clear yet subtle funk elements, and a certain Mediterranean flare, but plays on regrets, second guesses, absence an emotional confusion, touching upon PTSD, yet delivered in a predominantly light hearted manner. “Just Push Play” continues with the genre experimentation courtesy of a genuinely interesting combination of soulful 70’s funk, lounge jazz and modern hip-hop with a completely out of the blue rap-breakdown. The contrast manages to work without sounding jarring or like the world’s worst Nu Metal band, and that competition is TIGHT, so credit to them there.

The remainder of the record primarily consists of more, textbook blues-based hard rock which does have its moments of instrumental appeal, but sadly does become pretty generic over the course of the album, that IS only seven tracks long remember. Sure they dabbled in a few genres to spice things up but on a scale of black pepper to Bhut jolokia, that spice is toothpaste. Collectively, “Shine On” is harmless enough and you can appreciate it’s basic blues rock appeal, I mean they’re on the radio back home so they’re climbing that ladder, and there is an audience for blues based hard rock, I mean look at BLACK STONE CHERRY…it’s do-able, just on this instance, “Shine On” isn’t even as bright as one of Ric Flair’s bejewelled robes, let alone the 16-time world champion himself. To be the man, you gotta beat the man…Mirror Point have not beaten the man. Mirror Point are more like David Flair than Ric at this point. [5]

I get A LOT of emails, not as many as big publications obviously, but for me, I get a lot, and I literally can’t keep up with them all. This means I either take virtually forever getting around to some reviews, resulting in the peak promotion period usually having been and gone, for that I do apologise. Sometimes I forget about submissions entirely, for which I also apologise, and a lot of the time, I’m sent singles. Now, this blog has been running since 2014 and 99% of the content here, bar the odd rare article, is comprised of EP and album reviews. I’ve nothing against the humble single, I miss the days of picking up CD singles in Woolworths wondering what B-Sides you’d be treated to…but writing a full review for just A single is something I’ve always personally deemed a bit of a ball ache.

Going forward, I am going to try to, once a week (The key word being try here, I’m making no promises) present a general collection of single submissions from my inbox in one article, to try and ensure I don’t miss out on potential gems, and more importantly, to also clear some space in my inbox (At this time of writing I have around 650 unread emails…LOL). With that in mind, here are seven randomly selected tracks that I have been sent, that I would like to share with you, in the first GTGC Unlucky Dip; the result of combining Speed Dating with the heartfelt Comedy Roast.

We're going to kick this feature off with a 4-piece from London by the name of HEAVYMAN. Comprising of vocalist/guitarist Charlie Yang, drummer Tom Papaloizou (I'm pretty sure he was in "The League Of Gentlemen"?) bassist Igor Fonseca and lead guitarist Nick Burns, they recently got in touch, stating that were fans of the blog and were themselves fueled by alcohol and sarcasm, asking me to check out their debut single "Baby Jean". How could I possible refuse?

Initially sounding like something you'd hear from early TURBONEGRO, it soon transitions into a more methodical, groove-rich slow jam of a southern blues rock effort. It covers all the bases with some slick guitar work and vocal swagger for some textbook classic blues rock. With more tracks scheduled to be released over the coming months, these are ones to watch.

"Now this is a story all about how my life got, at most, mildly inconvenienced, but I'd like to take a minute just to share this my friend, and talk about this new single by The Fresh Prince Of Bellend".

You know all the meme's with "Now listen here you little shit..."? Well that's essentially me right now with RORY K. A native of downtown Manhattan, New York, Rory was born into a musical family, with his dad having been in the late 80's socio-political rock group BLACK 47. So imagine his dad's disappointment to see Rory here peddling some of the most uninspired, cringe-worthy rap/hip-hop an eleventeen-year-old would perform, on the track "Heat Thru Your Body"...I bet he finds vanilla spicy.

From the intro that sounds like seagulls having a stroke, to the combination of abysmal lyrics and self-indulgent vocals...and the embarrassing video, it's just...no. The bit where Rory is, (I'll use this term loosely) "performing" in front of some street graffiti, why are you holding a mic? You look like an absolute tit mate. And you emailed me three times for this? Assuming I hadn't replied because I couldn't stop dancing to the track? I would sooner invite my enemies to dance upon my grave than dance to this myself. And it's through*...for the record. I'm beginning to regret this new feature already...

I honestly don't know why I get sent this stuff...I'm not against rap and however many hip-hop subcultures there actually are, but it is SO rare I find any that I genuinely like. I can appreciate a flow, or a beat, sure, but there is too much recycled rap out there full of cliches about money, bitches, drugs and ho's and quite frankly I don't care about any of it.

"Twerk It Out" is the new track from Cleveland Ohio based hio-hop veteran DEEJAY CENTIPEDE, who has been spinning records since the 80's, and it features Sonny Vajra and Tee Hova...which...means absolutely nothing to me. It's got a certain 90's vibe going on which I guess you could describe as "fresh", with some soft synths poorly underlying some genuinely irritating clapping percussion. A lot of autotune going on in the vocals, and I can't lie, outside of this blog, I wouldn't listen to this...I'd rather be in the middle of a Human Centipede truth be told, but that's just me. As of now I'm outlawing Twerking on GTGC. 

Austrian psychedelic rock trio MOTHER'S CAKE (Consisting of lead vocalist/guitarist Yves Krismer, bassist Benedikt Trenkwalder and drummer/backing vocalist Jan Haussels) are set to release their new album sometime in the Autumn of 2020, and tease interesting things to come with their latest single "Toxic Brother".

The onslaught of fuzzy guitars and echoed vocals, delivered among a frenetic, up-tempo barrage of stoner sludge-punk is as fun as it is exciting; the energy is real here and it'll easily appeal to fans of say, EXIT_INTERNATIONAL. The gradual fade-out of the track counters the increasing levels of insanity as you can hear the mental breakdown as it happens...this is a solid track.

Returning to the UK now and more specifically; Hull, and we have a four-piece hardcore punk outfit by the name of SMILING ASSASSIN. Consisting of vocalist George Garnett, drummer Robbie Johnson, guitarist Josh Rogerson and bassist Casey Stead, they were forwarded to me by the wonderful folk over at Rage PR.

The new socio-political single "National Pride" is taken off the forthcoming album "Plight Of The Millennial" which is penciled for release on May 31st, and it combines all the vitriolic aggression of hardcore punk with the instrumental impatience of trash metal, easily taking influence from the likes of THE EXPLOITED or MUNICIPAL WASTE. It's an intense listen and suggests that the new album is going to be an absolute scorcher.

Now I'll start off by saying this...on initial listen, it's not as annoying as "Despacito"...but I'm not ruling it out overtime. It's another one of this Latino-inspired R'n'B/rap offerings that's meant to sound all smooth and sexy in the club, but I'd rather just sit in the corner with a warm bottle of Bacardi squeezing fresh lime directly into my eyeballs. 

L.D.N's contribution is fine and his rapping isn't bad, probably the most enjoyable aspect of this track in all fairness, but that doesn't really say much. Also, Mi Carino means My Sweety...creepy much. Your Nan singing this is she mate? Bomboclaat don't say shit like sweety fam ya get me? Real talk blud. I just lost the plot, literally watched it run off...

We round off this selection of tracks by coming full circle back to London, to find CALLING ALL ASTRONAUTS an their newest single "Welcome To The Black Bloc". The trio (Consisting of vocalist/programmer David B, guitarist JJ and bassist Paul "Buzzsaw McCrudden) mix elements of punk rock attitude and an electronic, almost light industrial tone for their sound, bridging the likes of PITCHSHIFTER, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE and MINISTRY for a no-nonsense blast of socio-political neo-dystopian noise.

The single is officially released on May 29th, with the new album, entitled "#Resist" dropping shortly after on June 5th, via Supersonic Media which I'm sure is going to an incredibly charged listen.

Now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales about us Welsh…stories about non-licet liaisons with animals of a woollen nature (For the record, Velcro gloves work wonders, though you didn’t hear that from me) but it’s not ALL about sheep shagging, let me tell you! Yes aside from our preferred bestial pastimes we do occasionally dabble in a spot of rock ‘n’ roll and as I’ve stated before, South Wales is a hotbed of up-and-coming bands and musicians. Now while a lot of attention is heaped on the Cardiff area because of its bustling live venues, we can’t forget about the rest of Wales, and today we’re taking a little trip up the valleys to a town called Aberdare for our next band; HEAVY FLAMES.

Comprising of vocalist David Hill, guitarists Lee Harvey and Ryan Lewis, bassist Gareth Owen and drummer Richard Boggis, the outfit are all about the old-school; opting to ignore what’s happening in the world of modern music, to play in their preferred style of classic blues-inspired rock ‘n’ roll…and they’ve showcased this on their debut full length album; “Bolt On The Rust”. The question is does this pile of rust belong on the scrapheap?

The album opens up with “Clearly Not A Welcome Rain” and it utilises the gradual build really quite well…we’re subject to a simplistic looped guitar sequence, blending in to some subtle percussion, as David wraps his vocals around proceedings before the track eventually erupts into a barrage of harmonica-fuelled rock. It’s bold as it is brash instrumentally, the southern blues tones giving this track some real swagger when it gets going and it’s an enjoyable start this.

The rock ‘n’ roll keeps on coming through album highlights such as “Nature Of The Beast” too…another initially low-key start but it quickly comes to life with some rich organ-eqsue synths akin to the likes of THE DOORS or even DEEP PURPLE in places; really embracing that early hard rock transitional period…not quite metal yet but the exploration into the weight and delivery of the instrumentation is all there. “Acre Of Graves” hammers this home brilliantly with its meatier riffs and almost polyrhythmic percussion, allowing for subtle prog aesthetics. The tone of the track here is a touch darker, incorporating more of a BLACK SABBATH vibe while still retaining their aforementioned synth-driven core sound and it’s a solid track.

There are a couple of lesser moments scattered around the album though, “Insult To The Brain” is more of an insult to my eardrums in all honesty, mainly because of that fucking guitar loop that makes your eye twitch. ‘Duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duh’ it goes over, and over, and over, and over, and over…the chorus provides a brief respite, but it comes back and the repetition of this specific chord sequence just drives you mad. Maybe it’s just me but this makes me want to cause physical harm to the brain of whoever decided to record this particular track, not just insult it. “House Full Of Women” suffers from a similar problem although the riff here is quirkier and the track is generally grittier overall, salvaging it somewhat.

Generally speaking though those are minor irritants more than anything and don’t really take away from the album as a whole…the recording quality and sound that they’ve gone for clearly harks back to those classic days in the 70’s with the bluegrass-inspired tones, with the band managing to retain that certain rawness in their production. Younger fans of rock and metal may view this as old-fashioned or, maybe even uncool, but if you appreciate the nostalgia of those formative years in rock ‘n’ roll’s evolution then you’ll likely appreciate this a lot more. Not quite niche per se, but it certainly has more of a target audience in mind. [5]

People sometimes wonder what the difference is between irony and coincidence…well if you were run over in the street, and an ambulance just happened to be passing by, that would be a wonderful coincidence. Irony on the other hand, would be getting run over by the ambulance itself and, so long as nobody dies, is much funnier. Today’s review falls under the coincidental category for me personally…let me explain.

Back at the start of the month, I took a mini vacation down to the South English coast at Torquay for a couple of days, where, to be honest, I spent 80% of my time enjoying the sun and drinking. On the way there however I made a little stop at some place called Burnham-On-Sea…never heard of it before, but all I can tell you is that it was quiet…windy as all hell and the tide had gone out for what seemed like MILES. I honestly thought Godzilla had mistaken the place for Hawaii and was about to stroll up the beach causing another tsunami it had gone that far out. Anyway my time there was fleeting and I thought nothing else of it. Today however, I decided to take a dip into my email submissions and low and behold, the first EPK I click on happens to be from a band from Burnham On-Sea! Let me introduce you to SOME VILLAINS.

The four-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist Edward Graves, guitarist Luke Tozer, drummer Stu Donavan and bassist Jake Beckett) have been on the scene since their 2014 single “Loose Generation”, and with their love of everything between classic rock ‘n’ roll, indie and prog, they’ve established themselves as a group of interesting and intelligent musicians. Their 2016 EP “Lizard Teeth” highlighted their admiration of experimental prog-rock and shoegaze, with predominantly longer tracks and the influence of RADIOHEAD and SMASHING PUMPKINS shining through…but here now in 2019, they’ve stripped things back a little and focused more on a grittier rock ‘n’ roll sound for their latest EP “Outliers”. The lads asked me to check it out, and seeing as I visited their home town it would be rude not to sample some of their wares!

The EP opens up with “Masters Sun” and it really doesn’t take long at all to get into the meat and potatoes of this record…we start off with some simple alternating chords, before the track lets rip with some ballsy, hard-rock riffage. The bass is deep and rumbling almost to the point where it’s sludge inspired, but we’ve got a rich groove, and vocally here Graves’ is rather hushed and subdued. Their love for QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE shines through here given the stoner / desert rock tones, coupled with an energetic up-tempo chorus; this is simply a great rock track. EP highlight “Burn Me Down” follows up and we’re initially met some almost WOLFMOTHER-esque instrumentation; combining classic rock and indie tones…the guitar is slick and frankly gallops along excitedly. The prog influences filter through vocally as Graves’ sings in an almost polyrhythmic manner, but it’s the convivial guitar tone that makes this track; it’s just fun.

“The Skin” again maintains an up-tempo vibe albeit somewhat darker in tone, bordering on atmospheric, with more hushed vocals, slightly raspy sounding in places reminding of JULY TALK to some degree, but we’re treated to a strong solo that certainly stands out as the tracks major talking point, before closing effort “Ghosts In The Field” incorporates a more shoegaze aesthetic alongside some again, darkly tinged indie rock…the type of sound that would appeal to fans of INTERPOL and the like. All in all though, there’s nothing truly negative to say about this EP whatsoever quite frankly. While the band are clearly better when they let their hair down and get gritty when it comes to the rock ‘n’ roll, the mellower tones do naturally compliment Graves’ vocal approach. There’s no  bells and whistles here, they’re a band and they keep it simple…having stripped back to a more classic rocking approach, and by cutting the track length from their previous EP ever so slightly, they come across as more polished and clinical in terms of their presentation. Not knocking the more prog-based sound of their previous work, but this does sound like an improvement. Some Villains by name but to fair lads you’re not sounding half bad at all. [8]

So I’ve got this confession to make…no I’m not coming out as a heterosexual white male that uses an online platform to give a personal opinion why; that would be career suicide! I jest…my confession is with regards to my approach to music. Sure, whether it’s here or for other publications, my reviews are always from an open-minded, honest perspective, trying to take into account more than just my own personal preferences for whichever artist I may be dealing with…but it doesn’t stop me having those personal preferences. For instance, I’ll go on record now for saying that, in my opinion, NIRVANA are a pile of shit…many would disagree, Courtney Love might try to set me up on a date with a Remington Model-11 for saying such a thing, but while I CAN admit they are an incredibly important and influential band in the evolution of alternative music…I just don’t like them.

This brings me to today’s band; BUCKCHERRY. The Californian rockers have been going for quite some time now and, I first heard of them back in 2001 when I discovered a track called “Slammin’”. It was a great, rock ‘n’ roll track and even though I was more concerned about Nu Metal at the time, I still enjoyed it for what it was. Fast forward a couple of years however, and I’m reintroduced to Buckcherry, as we come to arguably one of the worst successful rock songs ever recorded; “Crazy Bitch”. Seriously this song is 100% cringe in every conceivable way…everyone gives NICKELBACK a hard time when this fucking song exists, what are we doing like?! It’s AWFUL. Anyway needless to say, I was put off Buckcherry…I can’t be dealing with that, nope, no Sir, no thank you. BUT, in the interest of equality (And the fact that you chose them on my last readers choice poll you evil bunch of bastards) I’m going to give them another chance…earlier this year they released album number eight; “Warpaint”, and I’m on the front line prepared to do battle…come at me brah!

The album opens up with the title track and to be perfectly honest; it’s really not bad. It keeps things nice and simple to be fair, incorporating blues-based hard rock with a southern groove and some sleek guitar licks. The solo blends in well allowing the track to flow really smoothly without sounding jarring, it’s not been thrown in the mix ‘just because’ like some solo’s, actually adding to the track, and Josh Todd’s vocals while still distinct, are a touch subdued here, giving off a mellower vibe. It’s actually a decent little opener. If you do prefer mellow, “Right Now” initially has you covered as it continues with the light blues rock inspired guitar tone but strips back to a more acoustic-based delivery, although the chorus is far livelier and, remember what I said about solo’s? Yep…this one came out of nowhere quicker than you can say Randy Orton, and the song can’t seem to decide what it wants to be.

Let’s try and remain objectively positive though shall we and look at the highlights…”No Regrets” is a quirky little up-beat punk-rock inspired piece; it’s fun, it’s light-hearted and you can’t not enjoy this…from the clap-along segments, the tinny, rockabilly guitar stylistics and general skater-rock vibe, it’s just a happy track and at under 3-minutes, it’s an easy highlight. Closing track “The Devil’s In The Details” remains up-beat but returns to a more straightforward hard rocking / classic rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic with a fine riff carrying the track. “The Vacuum” raises a chuckle from me to be honest as in a funny twist of irony, it doesn’t completely suck. The riffs are solid and there’s an enjoyable melody layered throughout the track, resulting in quite an emotive listen, especially with Josh again holding back vocally, but the real highlight and frankly surprising inclusion here is a cover of NINE INCH NAILS classic “Head Like A Hole”.  Granted it’s not the same seething, industrial behemoth crafted by the vitriolic Trent Reznor, but the bass-heavy riffs still sound powerful here and it’s a great choice of cover; it’s a quality track to be fair and it’s done justice.  Is it as good as MILEY CYRUS’ cover on Black Mirror though?  I’ll let you reach your own conclusions there…

The rest of the album simply plods along really quite anonymously to be perfectly honest. “Radio Song” is a clichéd little acoustic piece with rich string-sections clearly aimed at finding commercial airplay while being both incredibly self-aware and  taking a subtle swipe at the mainstream, while “The Alarm” isn’t going to be waking anyone up in a hurry. Its’ slow pace and generally lethargic instrumentation makes for a predominantly boring listen, while Josh’s vocals come across as too much for the pace of the track at times, he’s shouting over it almost and it’s a bit off. Overall though I have to admit, it’s not a terrible album, not by any means…”Crazy Bitch” was quite a while ago now and I can’t hold on to these grudges forever, and while I do still hate that song with a burning passion, this album is fine, they seemed to have calmed down a bit, which I’m all for. I mean, just think, Josh Todd could have done something ridiculous like, release a god-awful, embarrassing rap-rock/dub album, undoing any and all regained credibility I’ve just found in the band, couldn’t he! Wait…what? Who are SPRAYGUN WAR? Oh for fuck’s sake…[6]

What do you get, when you combine a love of classical prog-rock, centuries old medieval mythology and a generous portion of haggis, neeps and tatties? Aside from one incredibly psychedelic episode of Ready Steady Cook, it stereotypically brings us to today’s band; let me introduce you to CULANN. The unsigned five-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist PJ Kelly, drummer Sean Kelly, guitarist Greg Irish, bassist Calum Davies plus Ross McCluskie on the keys) formed in Irvine, Scotland several years ago and made quite the initial impact on the Scottish rock scene! With praise from several regional radio stations following their 2012 self-titled debut, they found themselves winning the ‘Best Rock’ category at the 2013 SAMA’s (Scottish Alternative Music Awards) and have been growing ever since. Appropriately named after an ancient Celtic/Gaelic smithy, it’s fitting that they’ve already forged their anticipated follow-up album “The Great Ecumene”…and the lads have asked me to give it a listen! So let’s crack open the Irn-Bru and check it out!

The album opens up with “Evonium” and once again the band highlights their appreciation and interest in history, stories of old and Celtic heritage, as the word is the name of a purported ancient city, which is said to have stood where Irvine is now. The track itself is initially really quite jovial and up-beat, combining light riffs, subtle poly-rhythms and a bright, bubbly piano lead, while vocally PJ harbours a clean, emotive indie-rock tone. The swift key-changes and solo flurry emphasise the bands love of prog however, and it all combines to create one genuinely interesting track. “Event Without Experience” follows up and while continuing with the up-tempo approach they’ve opted for a more guitar-driven track here; it’s sounding that much grittier and ever so slightly more chaotic, though it’s not heavy.

The first real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Brewing Of Ale” (Of course I like the track that in some way shape or form involves alcohol)…starting life as a sweet little acoustic number it soon evolves into a fully-fledged folk-rock ballad, and although still housing those prog-elements it’s the folk qualities that shine through, especially with the prominence of the Scottish accent here; it’s delivered wonderfully. “All Reverie” continues the feel-good factor with a more simplified, melodic pop-rock number and it’s just an enjoyable, easy-listening effort, which can also be said for “Aegis”. Generally more of the same; but ever so slightly more pop-punk in tone, giving it that ever so subtle edge…it’s another stand-out track.

There are some solid funk-elements incorporated into “Man Alive” adding extra flavour to their fundamentally prog-approach but that, along with the solo and the seven minute plus run time, means this one does come across as a little indulgent in places. The title track practically echoes its own name; essentially describing the entire known inhabited land mass, meaning Ecumene sadly seems to go on forever, sounding mostly sluggish throughout, before we eventually finish up doing a bit of shopping back in Cardiff. I jest; “Queen Street” closes proceedings with another folk-inspired acoustic-led ballad…quaint but anti-climactic. Overall mind you, it’s easy to see why Culann hit the ground running following their formation; with a knack for a clean melody, lyrical storytelling and well-executed instrumentation, it certainly seems unjust that they’re still currently unsigned.  Prog-rock IS more of an acquired taste, just like the aforementioned haggis, but it’s certainly worth a try…[6]

Finnish music it would seem, is undergoing a little bit of a renaissance…just last year we saw the revival (And what a revival it was too!) of original 80’s Goth-rockers MUSTA PARAATI thanks to Jyrki Linannkivi of THE 69 EYES, who helped them rock ‘n’ roll-back the years to deliver some sorely missed traditional post-punk, but this year we’re going back even further. Back in the late 70’s a group of musicians who would be simply known as the AGENTS began their highly collaborative career, acting as a backing band for several successful Finnish artists, and though while consistent throughout this time, having released a plethora of recorded LP’s, they’ve never really had the spotlight on them outside of their home country…until now.

VILLE VALO needs no introduction; the former HIM front-man is one of the most iconic performers in modern alternative music and since HIM disbanded, I guess you could say he’s been a…free agent? Cue the collaboration! But it wouldn’t be the first time, oh no…HIM fans will be aware that back in the late 90’s before the love-metal maestro’s hit the big time, Valo had already performed with Agents a handful of times on Finnish TV…but now, twenty years later, we find them together again as Valo’s career comes full circle as they release their self-titled album “Ville Valo & Agents”. To paraphrase CHER…do you believe in life after love metal? Let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Kirstinkulma” and what we have really is an elongated intro track; purely instrumental here, it showcases the bands original style and tone with the stripped-back surf rock and blues-pop influences…with a subtle ROY ORBISON inspired sound in places. It’s very easy-listening and really quite sweet sonically. The first track proper then is the first of a couple of revisited tracks for Valo by the name of “Ikkunaprinsessa”, which essentially means ‘The princess in the window’. Not to be mistaken with anything you might find in the window of his dad’s Helsinki sex shop, it’s a romantic little tale about someone who sets their eyes on a model in a shop window and falls in love. A simple story but it’s got such a jovial tone to it, with Valo here sounding smooth as ever. Singing in his native tongue, he makes Finnish as much an art from as a language. “Paratiisi” is another which means ‘Paradise’ and it’s got soft, Mediterranean elements to the guitar here and both tracks sound vibrant; the fresh recording quality has done them justice.

It’s worth pointing out here that the bulk of this record comes in the form of re-recordings, with Valo putting his spin on tracks originally performed when the Agents were collaborating with RAULI SOMERJOKI, a Finnish songwriter who passed away in 1987, with “Kuihtuu Kesäinen Maa” being a great tribute for example. An incredibly mellow track, Valo allows his dulcet tones to weave their way around the song, bordering on the point of becoming a lullaby was it not for the instrumentation. There’s a sense of clarity to him that he was lacking on the last HIM record and he seems audibly more relaxed, healthier even. There are two English language tracks presented by the way of “Rockin’ With Enzio” and “I Told You So”…neither of which have Valo on vocals. The former houses a subtle 70’s glam-rock tone musically, which may appeal to fans of say, T-REX, while the latter harbours a more country-based blues aesthetic; both of which equally refreshing on the ears from a musical and linguistic point.

To be quite frank, this is more of a project than a new band or, real fresh start for Valo post-HIM…a little like his solo single “Olet Mun Kaikuluotain”, he just fancied a change. The songs have been rerecorded and produced well, and Valo’s hushed vocal harmonies are tailor made for Agents musical style, they complement each other wonderfully.  If any HIM fans were hoping for something more like the guys have done in FLAT EARTH then they’ll be disappointed, the whole idea was for Valo to step AWAY from the noise and the heaviness that came with being in HIM; he’s exploring new avenues creatively and allowing himself the freedom to do so. Sure the Finnish itself might put some people off too, but it really isn’t aimed at the same demographic of Heartagram enthusiasts he’s been used to for the past twenty five years. If you’re a fan of Valo’s then naturally you’re going to check this out, long-time fans will already be familiar with his history with the Agents, but don’t go into this expecting his trademark baritone, soaring vocals and wailing guitar solos…you will be massively let down. [6]

'My Wreckord Collection' is becoming an interesting little feature...we've gone from an underground death metal masterclass, to lashings of thrash and now...in our third installment, we're going for something totally different yet again. Today we're going to be putting the spotlight on Mike Cummings of West Chester Pennsylvania stoner rockers BACKWOODS PAYBACK, who last year released their newest album "Future Slum", to find out what it is about NEIL YOUNG he loves so much...

“I sat down to write a bit about my record collection but, it seemed a bit overwhelming at the time. So many records, so many artists, so many genres; so many formats! I decided to hone in on the one artist that may have influenced me the most and that, would be NEIL YOUNG. I was turned onto “Harvest” before I was 10 years old; it was one of my mom’s favourite records and in constant rotation at the house growing up. Something about the fragility of his voice made me stop whatever I was doing whenever it came across the speakers. Then getting older and understanding the words he was singing, I realized just how powerful that soft voice actually was. As I got older and started digging through crates for my own record collection I was blown away by the sheer VOLUME of records Neil Young had (And continues to) put out. A folk record, a psych record, a “punk” record, a noise record, a synth record…he never stops! And when you think you caught up to him, he is already onto the next sound. It’s inspiring, it’s refreshing, and at times it’s FRUSTRATING (Which is a good thing in my opinion!).”

“I have managed to find just about his entire catalogue on vinyl through the years. Some get listened to more than others…some have only been spun once. Some (The ditch trilogy of “Time Fades Away”, “On The Beach” and “Tonight’s The Night”) get played weekly at the house. These records shaped who I am. They make me feel strong, they make me feel small. They guide me through tough times and they sing with me in happier ones. I am not sure who or even what I would be, had I not heard THAT voice all those years ago, coming through my mom’s little turntable stereo in the living room…”

ps…

“When it comes to embarrassing records, I don’t think I have one. Sure there’s a TON of stuff I dig on that a LOT of people think is goofy (IE: SUGAR RAY  - “Lemonade and Brownies”!) but I am not ashamed of any of them. I think they make us who we are. EMBRACE THE AWKWARD!”

Recently I premiered a new feature for the GTGC reviews page, something which I dubbed "My Wreckord Collection". It's a simple premise, artists and band members from all walks of life take a break from plugging and promoting their own material, and instead get to nerd out over their own personal tastes and private record collections. On our first entry we went in hard and heavy, literally, as Mike Churry, drummer from Philadelphia death metal outfit BASILYSK briefly talked us through five of his favourite obscure death metal albums. In this installment, we'll be hearing from Markus Wikander, vocalist / guitarist of Swedish hardcore thrashers LEACH, who released their newest album "Hymns For The Hollow" in 2018...lets percolate through his personal picks and see what inspires him.

ANTHRAX - "Spreading The Disease"

"So after that I got really into Anthrax. A few years later they reunited as the "classic" lineup (2005?). They were coming to Sweden Rock Festival and I was really stoked about it. They were having this signing booth so I was standing in line with a friend. He had this patched up jeans vest with his favorite bands and he was a power metal guy which I thought was kind of dorky. For some reason he left the line going somewhere, but he asked me to hold his vest 'cause it was hot, so I did. Finally finished the line and I was standing there with them asking if they could sign my copy of "Spreading The Disease", which they did. But they also pointed at the vest and a patch with Swedish power metal band HAMMERFALL and asked me "Do you like that band?". I was so fucking nervous and didn't know what to say so I said "Yeah, sure". They looked at each other and started giggling, probably thinking "Who is this lame fuck". I wanted to disappear, I was so embarrassed! Never meet your heroes..."

Favorite song: "A.I.R"

MEGADETH - "Killing Is My Business..."

​"'Peace Sells...' is without doubt my favorite 'deth album but I gotta' pick this one because it's so goddam ugly. Everything is bad about this cover. Found the original Combat release so I had to have it!"
 
Favorite song: "Killing Is My Business"

NUCLEAR ASSAULT - "Good Times, Bad Times"

"If the "Killing.." cover is bad in a bad way, this one is bad in a good way! Don't know what I like about it really but there's just some punk ingredient that I just like. With their faces badly pasted on there with the exploding Hindenburg. Works well with the title!" 

Favorite song: "Hang The Pope" (Live)

MASTODON - "Crack The Skye"

​"If somebody put a gun to my head and I had to pick ONE album that I had to listen to for the rest of my life, I'd pick this one. There's so much nuances that you discover for each listen and I think I can never grow tired of this one." 

Favorite song: "The Czar"

Well well well...what can I say? 2018 has been and gone; some of it was awesome, some of it was interesting, some of it was amusing and a lot of it was spectacularly shit...however, one thing that's consistent is the sheer volume of music and art created around the world. 2018 saw me cover my usual rock and metal albums...there wasn't a lot of goth...but I dabbled in some pop, in some rap, in some hip-hop...that's not including that which I checked out for the team over at All About The Rock...ultimately 2018 has kept me on my toes musically and I'm sure that my Top 20's, no matter the category, can show you that. 

From Eurovision bangers courtesy of Saara Aalto...to heavy metal swan songs a la Machine Head. From returning Welsh rap rock renegades The Kennedy Soundtrack...to returning Finnish goth godfathers Musta Paraati. From crossover WWE Superstar Elias...to young crossover Stranger Things superstars forming Calpurnia...you name it there's been something for everyone in 2018 and I like to think I've covered a fair unbiased amount of it. After over 200 albums and EP's, the above gallery showcases the best of the best of 2018 and I hope you agree with my overall picks. Below you'll find the link to the GTGC Facebook page, where you can find my lists in their entirety (Including the bonus WORST 20 OF 2018) and my official GTGC 2018 Spotify Playlist, and I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed compiling it. Here's to 2019 and all of the new music coming our way...some of it will get the GTGC treatment, and you know you're looking forward to that. Peace out bitches...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!!!!!!!!!!

While it’s been a short while now since we’ve properly heard from Anaheim alt. rockers NEW YEARS DAY, we’ve been treated to a couple of projects from front-woman Ash Costello. Last year saw her branch out with horror-pop band THE HAXANS and their incredibly fun album “Party Monsters”…but this year, although returning under the NYD moniker, we find Ash indulging herself on what is essentially a covers EP. Occasionally you’ll find interviews and articles in magazines, revolving around the artists and songs that shaped other artists…but Ash wanted to go one better and actually record her own versions of the songs she deemed so inspirational. The result; the “Diary Of A Creep” EP…a fitting tribute, or should their new year’s resolution be no more covers? Let’s find out…

We open up the EP with the sole original track “Disgust Me” and it’s somewhat appropriate, like, you say it out loud, and the EP does its fucking best to do just that. With its hard-hitting percussion and deep, chugging riffs, coupled with Ash’s melodic vocals over a hook-laden chorus, its trademark NYD…balancing subtle gothic tendencies with a heavy, nu-metal aesthetic, getting the EP off to a decent albeit standard start. We follow that with the first of five covers…and we’re spanning a plethora of era’s and styles here. Naturally it’s fair as influence can come from all walks of life, but here, together, in this style…something just doesn’t quite gel. We begin with a cover of NEW ORDER’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” and gone are the quaint synths…gone are the soft vocals of Bernard Summer…instead we find crunching, disjointed riffs and Ash’s powerful vocal chords, backed with key changes, repetitive classic guitar licks and gang vocals. The whole thing comes across as copy and paste, looping itself as it ticks along and sadly lacks any of the originals charm.

We shift gears completely next up, as we dabble in a spot of metal via PANTERA classic “Fucking Hostile” and it kind of does what it says on the tin; the raw aggression carries through with Ash’s angrier vocals and they know how to deliver a riff, but it’s hard to see how this would go down with traditional metal fans…they’ll either respect you (Albeit resentfully) for covering it in the first place, or form a Wall Of Death that even Donald Trump would be in awe of, but aim TOWARDS the stage and trample you into the floor for doing so…they’re on thin ice here. Next up…and, oh god…we have “Crawling”…yes…THAT crawling, by LINKIN PARK. Now, let’s be honest, who hasn’t been inspired in some way by Linkin Park in recent generations? But, to attempt to cover such an iconic song is BRAVE! It totally lacks the original feel of the song, there’s no angst or passion, and sadly it comes across as really quite flat, which is a complete shame. Ash’s melodic vocals work here but as soon as the track shifts into gear, it just doesn’t compare; the pain is missing and the result is a hollow song.

The last couple of tracks include GARBAGE hit “Only Happy When It Rains”, which while originally an iconic 90’s indie rock hit, here, even aided by LZZY HALE, lacks any of the song’s original feel…not even the duel vocals here can match up to Shirley Manson and if anything just makes you cringe, before there is some level of redemption on closing track “Don’t Speak”. The NO DOUBT classic works well here as Ash really does justice to Gwen Stefani’s vocal style and with the metal touch musically it gives the track a new lease of life. Overall while it’s all well and good to want to pay respects to your hero’s and inspirations, it sometimes works better in theory rather than practice. Ash and NYD have a style and a sound that suits them, and some of the tracks covered here really don’t benefit from that sound at all. If anything I guess, it gives you a chance to go through the originals, and maybe discover some classics you may have missed, depending on your age and tastes…other than that, it’s an EP of interesting but sadly disappointing covers. [4]

Anniversaries…usually happy times shared by couples as they grow old together, celebrating their love and commitment to one another…sometimes they can be nostalgic or, historic; marking so-many years since an incident or an event…though other times they can be painful; tainted with sad memories and tearful reminders, and I’m afraid in this instance we’re referring to the latter. Yes it’s nearly been a year now since Ville Valo and HIM went out with a bang and a whimper on their, admittedly rushed, 2017 farewell tour… a whole year of knowing that the Heartagram had beaten for the last time, buried alive by its own love, and it’s a truly sad fact. However…even the most melancholic gothic-laced grey clouds have silver linings, and in this instance, after a metaphorical mass funeral of hearts, in HIM’s absence we’ve got some new projects from our favourite Finn’s! Let me introduce you to FLAT EARTH…

A Finnish super-group of sorts…HIM’s six-string maestro Linde Lindstrom and former drummer Gas Lipstick make up 50% of the band, while it’s completed by former AMORPHIS bassist Niclas Etelavuori and POLANSKI vocalist Anthony Pikkarainen, and together, over the past several months they have stripped everything back, wiped the slate clean and written a no-nonsense, no frills, no gimmicks hard rock album by the name of “None For One”. The question is, is their musical prowess better than their apparent grasp of basic geology? Let’s find out…

We open up with “Subhuman” and ironically, it’s what you’d suggest someone who DOES believe that the Earth is flat would be in terms of mental capacity…slightly sluggish in tone for the most part, it comprises of slower riffs and percussion, combining a classic rock tone with just a touch of blues metal, although there’s an incredibly subtle middle-eastern feel to some of the more melodic guitar notes. Pretty straightforward stuff but it’s a fine start nevertheless. “Blame” follows up and here we find Anthony leading the musical direction more with a primarily 90’s grunge-inspired piece, backed with Linde’s distinctive string-work…the solo here is classic Linde, his fret-work is on point and you remember here how underrated a guitarist he really is.

This combination of styles is, for the most part the very foundation of this album as a whole…the back-to-basics, guitar heavy instrumentation being the very backbone of their sound while vocally we hark back to a simpler time; clean but with a certain raw emotion and in ways, at numerous points throughout this record you get a sense of ALICE IN CHAINS meets THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, really embracing those 90’s characteristics. The title track is a wonderful example, highlighting the above point really quite well…”Noble Swine” has some intense percussion and oh how we’ve missed Gas behind a drum kit, he can really drive a track and here he does just that…also baring a light resemblance to Linde’s other work with DANIEL LIONEYE in tone, before album highlight “Limelight” carries you away with a genuinely catchy little harmonic chorus and a simplistic groove. The rest of the album is generally run of the mill hard rock but as I said, that’s the aesthetic they’ve gone for; nothing fancy or over the top…just some good honest rock, which is fine. Admittedly it CAN feel a little lethargic at times, and if anything is to blame for that it IS Anthony’s vocals…maybe it’s just because I’m not too used to them and, to some extent can’t quite yet fully separate this from HIM, but he’s no Ville Valo. I know that’s the point to a degree, but this album DOES lack in belters and could do with a shot of adrenaline really. He’s got the emotion, but lacks in power. Overall the Earth here isn’t entirely flat, but it’s only just slightly concaved…they need a little more depth next time around. [5]

This is not, the greatest review in the world; no…this is just a tribute…a tribute to a once mighty beast…whose powers have been depleted faster than Superman getting pegged with a Kryptonite dildo. Yes we’re here today to remember TENACIOUS D. Back in 2001, the comedy rock duo of Jack Black and Kyle Gass would become one of the greatest cult phenomenon’s of modern alternative music, with tracks like “Wonderboy”, “Tribute” of course and not forgetting “Fuck Her Gently”, not only bridging the gap between music and comedy, but doing it so effectively. EVERYONE would sing along to these, and the sketches that littered their self-titled debut were genuinely amusing, but alas, the laughter wouldn’t last too long…

Their follow up project “The Pick Of Destiny” (Both an album and a motion picture) didn’t do so well, (At the box-office especially) losing money and receiving mixed to negative reviews; it seemed like they’d undertaken too much…perhaps their fifteen minutes was already up? The joke seemingly already wearing thin…however to the surprise of many, they returned in 2012 with the attempted come-back album “Rise Of The Fenix”. A shot at redemption, it did get them nominated for a Grammy award for Best Comedy Album, but the quality simply wasn’t matching up to their debut and although they’d grown as musicians, they’d faded somewhat as entertainers. This leads us to 2018 and again, surprisingly, we find The D releasing another studio album’ “Post-Apocalypto”. Another concept here, it coincides with their own mini animated YouTube series (I use the term animated very loosely) following their struggles and adventures in, you guessed it, a post-apocalyptic world…but is it worth the listen?

We open up with the “Post-Apocalypto Theme” and as it acts as the animations theme song it really is only a brief jingle at best…a pacey flurry of acoustic guitar and percussion backing Jack Black’s trademark dramatic vocal. It’s up-tempo, catchy enough and easy listening,  ironically ending with the line ‘Tenacious D has got to shine’…almost acknowledging previous failures. Sadly, not only are any further ACTUAL musical highlights so few and far between, over an album consisting of TWENTY ONE tracks bare in mind…but those twenty one tracks only have a 30 MINUTE run time…this really isn’t boding well. The tracks (If you can call them that honestly) that do manage to stand out are “Hope”, which delivers a sweet little acoustic ditty that transitions its way into a power ballad of sorts…there’s “Making Love” which can be looked upon in one of two ways; either it’s a spiritual successor to “Fuck Her Gently” or they’ve simply tried to emulate themselves with shamefully recycled ideas (STEEL PANTHER much?).

The random references to Elon Musk and Richard Branson during “Take Us Into Space” push for a little bit of fourth-wall breaking but as a track it’s typical as it comes; it’s accompanying skit “I’ve Got To Go” no more than standard D shenanigans really. Finding further musical points of worth is difficult…”Daddy Ding Dong” opts for a more metal inspired piece, Jack Black does love a hard rocking riff but it’s nothing shy of ridiculous. There’s sketches about sex with cave women, a random, pro-KKK piece featuring an anti-gay march, there’s a clichéd German character, all tied in to some Donald Trump references…I mean what the ACTUAL fuck? ”JB JR Rap” has a deep, dark hip-hop synth beat and some auto tune which is probably the most interesting thing musically here which says A LOT, before we end up finishing rocking out on “Woman Time” and the reprise of the theme song. Ultimately, as an accompanying album, this really falls flat and feels more like a brief collection of sound bites AT BEST…if you’re going to invest any time in new Tenacious D material, stick to the animation on YouTube, as this really fails on record. As audio content, it not only feels rushed together, but it misses the mark entirely regarding humour…there’s nothing wrong with being crude and childish occasionally, but this is just cringe-worthy, I sadly believe the D in their name now simply stands for Done. [1]