People sometimes wonder what the difference is between irony and coincidence…well if you were run over in the street, and an ambulance just happened to be passing by, that would be a wonderful coincidence. Irony on the other hand, would be getting run over by the ambulance itself and, so long as nobody dies, is much funnier. Today’s review falls under the coincidental category for me personally…let me explain.

Back at the start of the month, I took a mini vacation down to the South English coast at Torquay for a couple of days, where, to be honest, I spent 80% of my time enjoying the sun and drinking. On the way there however I made a little stop at some place called Burnham-On-Sea…never heard of it before, but all I can tell you is that it was quiet…windy as all hell and the tide had gone out for what seemed like MILES. I honestly thought Godzilla had mistaken the place for Hawaii and was about to stroll up the beach causing another tsunami it had gone that far out. Anyway my time there was fleeting and I thought nothing else of it. Today however, I decided to take a dip into my email submissions and low and behold, the first EPK I click on happens to be from a band from Burnham On-Sea! Let me introduce you to SOME VILLAINS.

The four-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist Edward Graves, guitarist Luke Tozer, drummer Stu Donavan and bassist Jake Beckett) have been on the scene since their 2014 single “Loose Generation”, and with their love of everything between classic rock ‘n’ roll, indie and prog, they’ve established themselves as a group of interesting and intelligent musicians. Their 2016 EP “Lizard Teeth” highlighted their admiration of experimental prog-rock and shoegaze, with predominantly longer tracks and the influence of RADIOHEAD and SMASHING PUMPKINS shining through…but here now in 2019, they’ve stripped things back a little and focused more on a grittier rock ‘n’ roll sound for their latest EP “Outliers”. The lads asked me to check it out, and seeing as I visited their home town it would be rude not to sample some of their wares!

The EP opens up with “Masters Sun” and it really doesn’t take long at all to get into the meat and potatoes of this record…we start off with some simple alternating chords, before the track lets rip with some ballsy, hard-rock riffage. The bass is deep and rumbling almost to the point where it’s sludge inspired, but we’ve got a rich groove, and vocally here Graves’ is rather hushed and subdued. Their love for QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE shines through here given the stoner / desert rock tones, coupled with an energetic up-tempo chorus; this is simply a great rock track. EP highlight “Burn Me Down” follows up and we’re initially met some almost WOLFMOTHER-esque instrumentation; combining classic rock and indie tones…the guitar is slick and frankly gallops along excitedly. The prog influences filter through vocally as Graves’ sings in an almost polyrhythmic manner, but it’s the convivial guitar tone that makes this track; it’s just fun.

“The Skin” again maintains an up-tempo vibe albeit somewhat darker in tone, bordering on atmospheric, with more hushed vocals, slightly raspy sounding in places reminding of JULY TALK to some degree, but we’re treated to a strong solo that certainly stands out as the tracks major talking point, before closing effort “Ghosts In The Field” incorporates a more shoegaze aesthetic alongside some again, darkly tinged indie rock…the type of sound that would appeal to fans of INTERPOL and the like. All in all though, there’s nothing truly negative to say about this EP whatsoever quite frankly. While the band are clearly better when they let their hair down and get gritty when it comes to the rock ‘n’ roll, the mellower tones do naturally compliment Graves’ vocal approach. There’s no  bells and whistles here, they’re a band and they keep it simple…having stripped back to a more classic rocking approach, and by cutting the track length from their previous EP ever so slightly, they come across as more polished and clinical in terms of their presentation. Not knocking the more prog-based sound of their previous work, but this does sound like an improvement. Some Villains by name but to fair lads you’re not sounding half bad at all. [8]

So I’ve got this confession to make…no I’m not coming out as a heterosexual white male that uses an online platform to give a personal opinion why; that would be career suicide! I jest…my confession is with regards to my approach to music. Sure, whether it’s here or for other publications, my reviews are always from an open-minded, honest perspective, trying to take into account more than just my own personal preferences for whichever artist I may be dealing with…but it doesn’t stop me having those personal preferences. For instance, I’ll go on record now for saying that, in my opinion, NIRVANA are a pile of shit…many would disagree, Courtney Love might try to set me up on a date with a Remington Model-11 for saying such a thing, but while I CAN admit they are an incredibly important and influential band in the evolution of alternative music…I just don’t like them.

This brings me to today’s band; BUCKCHERRY. The Californian rockers have been going for quite some time now and, I first heard of them back in 2001 when I discovered a track called “Slammin’”. It was a great, rock ‘n’ roll track and even though I was more concerned about Nu Metal at the time, I still enjoyed it for what it was. Fast forward a couple of years however, and I’m reintroduced to Buckcherry, as we come to arguably one of the worst successful rock songs ever recorded; “Crazy Bitch”. Seriously this song is 100% cringe in every conceivable way…everyone gives NICKELBACK a hard time when this fucking song exists, what are we doing like?! It’s AWFUL. Anyway needless to say, I was put off Buckcherry…I can’t be dealing with that, nope, no Sir, no thank you. BUT, in the interest of equality (And the fact that you chose them on my last readers choice poll you evil bunch of bastards) I’m going to give them another chance…earlier this year they released album number eight; “Warpaint”, and I’m on the front line prepared to do battle…come at me brah!

The album opens up with the title track and to be perfectly honest; it’s really not bad. It keeps things nice and simple to be fair, incorporating blues-based hard rock with a southern groove and some sleek guitar licks. The solo blends in well allowing the track to flow really smoothly without sounding jarring, it’s not been thrown in the mix ‘just because’ like some solo’s, actually adding to the track, and Josh Todd’s vocals while still distinct, are a touch subdued here, giving off a mellower vibe. It’s actually a decent little opener. If you do prefer mellow, “Right Now” initially has you covered as it continues with the light blues rock inspired guitar tone but strips back to a more acoustic-based delivery, although the chorus is far livelier and, remember what I said about solo’s? Yep…this one came out of nowhere quicker than you can say Randy Orton, and the song can’t seem to decide what it wants to be.

Let’s try and remain objectively positive though shall we and look at the highlights…”No Regrets” is a quirky little up-beat punk-rock inspired piece; it’s fun, it’s light-hearted and you can’t not enjoy this…from the clap-along segments, the tinny, rockabilly guitar stylistics and general skater-rock vibe, it’s just a happy track and at under 3-minutes, it’s an easy highlight. Closing track “The Devil’s In The Details” remains up-beat but returns to a more straightforward hard rocking / classic rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic with a fine riff carrying the track. “The Vacuum” raises a chuckle from me to be honest as in a funny twist of irony, it doesn’t completely suck. The riffs are solid and there’s an enjoyable melody layered throughout the track, resulting in quite an emotive listen, especially with Josh again holding back vocally, but the real highlight and frankly surprising inclusion here is a cover of NINE INCH NAILS classic “Head Like A Hole”.  Granted it’s not the same seething, industrial behemoth crafted by the vitriolic Trent Reznor, but the bass-heavy riffs still sound powerful here and it’s a great choice of cover; it’s a quality track to be fair and it’s done justice.  Is it as good as MILEY CYRUS’ cover on Black Mirror though?  I’ll let you reach your own conclusions there…

The rest of the album simply plods along really quite anonymously to be perfectly honest. “Radio Song” is a clichéd little acoustic piece with rich string-sections clearly aimed at finding commercial airplay while being both incredibly self-aware and  taking a subtle swipe at the mainstream, while “The Alarm” isn’t going to be waking anyone up in a hurry. Its’ slow pace and generally lethargic instrumentation makes for a predominantly boring listen, while Josh’s vocals come across as too much for the pace of the track at times, he’s shouting over it almost and it’s a bit off. Overall though I have to admit, it’s not a terrible album, not by any means…”Crazy Bitch” was quite a while ago now and I can’t hold on to these grudges forever, and while I do still hate that song with a burning passion, this album is fine, they seemed to have calmed down a bit, which I’m all for. I mean, just think, Josh Todd could have done something ridiculous like, release a god-awful, embarrassing rap-rock/dub album, undoing any and all regained credibility I’ve just found in the band, couldn’t he! Wait…what? Who are SPRAYGUN WAR? Oh for fuck’s sake…[6]

What do you get, when you combine a love of classical prog-rock, centuries old medieval mythology and a generous portion of haggis, neeps and tatties? Aside from one incredibly psychedelic episode of Ready Steady Cook, it stereotypically brings us to today’s band; let me introduce you to CULANN. The unsigned five-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist PJ Kelly, drummer Sean Kelly, guitarist Greg Irish, bassist Calum Davies plus Ross McCluskie on the keys) formed in Irvine, Scotland several years ago and made quite the initial impact on the Scottish rock scene! With praise from several regional radio stations following their 2012 self-titled debut, they found themselves winning the ‘Best Rock’ category at the 2013 SAMA’s (Scottish Alternative Music Awards) and have been growing ever since. Appropriately named after an ancient Celtic/Gaelic smithy, it’s fitting that they’ve already forged their anticipated follow-up album “The Great Ecumene”…and the lads have asked me to give it a listen! So let’s crack open the Irn-Bru and check it out!

The album opens up with “Evonium” and once again the band highlights their appreciation and interest in history, stories of old and Celtic heritage, as the word is the name of a purported ancient city, which is said to have stood where Irvine is now. The track itself is initially really quite jovial and up-beat, combining light riffs, subtle poly-rhythms and a bright, bubbly piano lead, while vocally PJ harbours a clean, emotive indie-rock tone. The swift key-changes and solo flurry emphasise the bands love of prog however, and it all combines to create one genuinely interesting track. “Event Without Experience” follows up and while continuing with the up-tempo approach they’ve opted for a more guitar-driven track here; it’s sounding that much grittier and ever so slightly more chaotic, though it’s not heavy.

The first real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Brewing Of Ale” (Of course I like the track that in some way shape or form involves alcohol)…starting life as a sweet little acoustic number it soon evolves into a fully-fledged folk-rock ballad, and although still housing those prog-elements it’s the folk qualities that shine through, especially with the prominence of the Scottish accent here; it’s delivered wonderfully. “All Reverie” continues the feel-good factor with a more simplified, melodic pop-rock number and it’s just an enjoyable, easy-listening effort, which can also be said for “Aegis”. Generally more of the same; but ever so slightly more pop-punk in tone, giving it that ever so subtle edge…it’s another stand-out track.

There are some solid funk-elements incorporated into “Man Alive” adding extra flavour to their fundamentally prog-approach but that, along with the solo and the seven minute plus run time, means this one does come across as a little indulgent in places. The title track practically echoes its own name; essentially describing the entire known inhabited land mass, meaning Ecumene sadly seems to go on forever, sounding mostly sluggish throughout, before we eventually finish up doing a bit of shopping back in Cardiff. I jest; “Queen Street” closes proceedings with another folk-inspired acoustic-led ballad…quaint but anti-climactic. Overall mind you, it’s easy to see why Culann hit the ground running following their formation; with a knack for a clean melody, lyrical storytelling and well-executed instrumentation, it certainly seems unjust that they’re still currently unsigned.  Prog-rock IS more of an acquired taste, just like the aforementioned haggis, but it’s certainly worth a try…[6]

Finnish music it would seem, is undergoing a little bit of a renaissance…just last year we saw the revival (And what a revival it was too!) of original 80’s Goth-rockers MUSTA PARAATI thanks to Jyrki Linannkivi of THE 69 EYES, who helped them rock ‘n’ roll-back the years to deliver some sorely missed traditional post-punk, but this year we’re going back even further. Back in the late 70’s a group of musicians who would be simply known as the AGENTS began their highly collaborative career, acting as a backing band for several successful Finnish artists, and though while consistent throughout this time, having released a plethora of recorded LP’s, they’ve never really had the spotlight on them outside of their home country…until now.

VILLE VALO needs no introduction; the former HIM front-man is one of the most iconic performers in modern alternative music and since HIM disbanded, I guess you could say he’s been a…free agent? Cue the collaboration! But it wouldn’t be the first time, oh no…HIM fans will be aware that back in the late 90’s before the love-metal maestro’s hit the big time, Valo had already performed with Agents a handful of times on Finnish TV…but now, twenty years later, we find them together again as Valo’s career comes full circle as they release their self-titled album “Ville Valo & Agents”. To paraphrase CHER…do you believe in life after love metal? Let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Kirstinkulma” and what we have really is an elongated intro track; purely instrumental here, it showcases the bands original style and tone with the stripped-back surf rock and blues-pop influences…with a subtle ROY ORBISON inspired sound in places. It’s very easy-listening and really quite sweet sonically. The first track proper then is the first of a couple of revisited tracks for Valo by the name of “Ikkunaprinsessa”, which essentially means ‘The princess in the window’. Not to be mistaken with anything you might find in the window of his dad’s Helsinki sex shop, it’s a romantic little tale about someone who sets their eyes on a model in a shop window and falls in love. A simple story but it’s got such a jovial tone to it, with Valo here sounding smooth as ever. Singing in his native tongue, he makes Finnish as much an art from as a language. “Paratiisi” is another which means ‘Paradise’ and it’s got soft, Mediterranean elements to the guitar here and both tracks sound vibrant; the fresh recording quality has done them justice.

It’s worth pointing out here that the bulk of this record comes in the form of re-recordings, with Valo putting his spin on tracks originally performed when the Agents were collaborating with RAULI SOMERJOKI, a Finnish songwriter who passed away in 1987, with “Kuihtuu Kesäinen Maa” being a great tribute for example. An incredibly mellow track, Valo allows his dulcet tones to weave their way around the song, bordering on the point of becoming a lullaby was it not for the instrumentation. There’s a sense of clarity to him that he was lacking on the last HIM record and he seems audibly more relaxed, healthier even. There are two English language tracks presented by the way of “Rockin’ With Enzio” and “I Told You So”…neither of which have Valo on vocals. The former houses a subtle 70’s glam-rock tone musically, which may appeal to fans of say, T-REX, while the latter harbours a more country-based blues aesthetic; both of which equally refreshing on the ears from a musical and linguistic point.

To be quite frank, this is more of a project than a new band or, real fresh start for Valo post-HIM…a little like his solo single “Olet Mun Kaikuluotain”, he just fancied a change. The songs have been rerecorded and produced well, and Valo’s hushed vocal harmonies are tailor made for Agents musical style, they complement each other wonderfully.  If any HIM fans were hoping for something more like the guys have done in FLAT EARTH then they’ll be disappointed, the whole idea was for Valo to step AWAY from the noise and the heaviness that came with being in HIM; he’s exploring new avenues creatively and allowing himself the freedom to do so. Sure the Finnish itself might put some people off too, but it really isn’t aimed at the same demographic of Heartagram enthusiasts he’s been used to for the past twenty five years. If you’re a fan of Valo’s then naturally you’re going to check this out, long-time fans will already be familiar with his history with the Agents, but don’t go into this expecting his trademark baritone, soaring vocals and wailing guitar solos…you will be massively let down. [6]

'My Wreckord Collection' is becoming an interesting little feature...we've gone from an underground death metal masterclass, to lashings of thrash and now...in our third installment, we're going for something totally different yet again. Today we're going to be putting the spotlight on Mike Cummings of West Chester Pennsylvania stoner rockers BACKWOODS PAYBACK, who last year released their newest album "Future Slum", to find out what it is about NEIL YOUNG he loves so much...

“I sat down to write a bit about my record collection but, it seemed a bit overwhelming at the time. So many records, so many artists, so many genres; so many formats! I decided to hone in on the one artist that may have influenced me the most and that, would be NEIL YOUNG. I was turned onto “Harvest” before I was 10 years old; it was one of my mom’s favourite records and in constant rotation at the house growing up. Something about the fragility of his voice made me stop whatever I was doing whenever it came across the speakers. Then getting older and understanding the words he was singing, I realized just how powerful that soft voice actually was. As I got older and started digging through crates for my own record collection I was blown away by the sheer VOLUME of records Neil Young had (And continues to) put out. A folk record, a psych record, a “punk” record, a noise record, a synth record…he never stops! And when you think you caught up to him, he is already onto the next sound. It’s inspiring, it’s refreshing, and at times it’s FRUSTRATING (Which is a good thing in my opinion!).”

“I have managed to find just about his entire catalogue on vinyl through the years. Some get listened to more than others…some have only been spun once. Some (The ditch trilogy of “Time Fades Away”, “On The Beach” and “Tonight’s The Night”) get played weekly at the house. These records shaped who I am. They make me feel strong, they make me feel small. They guide me through tough times and they sing with me in happier ones. I am not sure who or even what I would be, had I not heard THAT voice all those years ago, coming through my mom’s little turntable stereo in the living room…”

ps…

“When it comes to embarrassing records, I don’t think I have one. Sure there’s a TON of stuff I dig on that a LOT of people think is goofy (IE: SUGAR RAY  - “Lemonade and Brownies”!) but I am not ashamed of any of them. I think they make us who we are. EMBRACE THE AWKWARD!”

Recently I premiered a new feature for the GTGC reviews page, something which I dubbed "My Wreckord Collection". It's a simple premise, artists and band members from all walks of life take a break from plugging and promoting their own material, and instead get to nerd out over their own personal tastes and private record collections. On our first entry we went in hard and heavy, literally, as Mike Churry, drummer from Philadelphia death metal outfit BASILYSK briefly talked us through five of his favourite obscure death metal albums. In this installment, we'll be hearing from Markus Wikander, vocalist / guitarist of Swedish hardcore thrashers LEACH, who released their newest album "Hymns For The Hollow" in 2018...lets percolate through his personal picks and see what inspires him.

ANTHRAX - "Spreading The Disease"

"So after that I got really into Anthrax. A few years later they reunited as the "classic" lineup (2005?). They were coming to Sweden Rock Festival and I was really stoked about it. They were having this signing booth so I was standing in line with a friend. He had this patched up jeans vest with his favorite bands and he was a power metal guy which I thought was kind of dorky. For some reason he left the line going somewhere, but he asked me to hold his vest 'cause it was hot, so I did. Finally finished the line and I was standing there with them asking if they could sign my copy of "Spreading The Disease", which they did. But they also pointed at the vest and a patch with Swedish power metal band HAMMERFALL and asked me "Do you like that band?". I was so fucking nervous and didn't know what to say so I said "Yeah, sure". They looked at each other and started giggling, probably thinking "Who is this lame fuck". I wanted to disappear, I was so embarrassed! Never meet your heroes..."

Favorite song: "A.I.R"

MEGADETH - "Killing Is My Business..."

​"'Peace Sells...' is without doubt my favorite 'deth album but I gotta' pick this one because it's so goddam ugly. Everything is bad about this cover. Found the original Combat release so I had to have it!"
 
Favorite song: "Killing Is My Business"

NUCLEAR ASSAULT - "Good Times, Bad Times"

"If the "Killing.." cover is bad in a bad way, this one is bad in a good way! Don't know what I like about it really but there's just some punk ingredient that I just like. With their faces badly pasted on there with the exploding Hindenburg. Works well with the title!" 

Favorite song: "Hang The Pope" (Live)

MASTODON - "Crack The Skye"

​"If somebody put a gun to my head and I had to pick ONE album that I had to listen to for the rest of my life, I'd pick this one. There's so much nuances that you discover for each listen and I think I can never grow tired of this one." 

Favorite song: "The Czar"

Well well well...what can I say? 2018 has been and gone; some of it was awesome, some of it was interesting, some of it was amusing and a lot of it was spectacularly shit...however, one thing that's consistent is the sheer volume of music and art created around the world. 2018 saw me cover my usual rock and metal albums...there wasn't a lot of goth...but I dabbled in some pop, in some rap, in some hip-hop...that's not including that which I checked out for the team over at All About The Rock...ultimately 2018 has kept me on my toes musically and I'm sure that my Top 20's, no matter the category, can show you that. 

From Eurovision bangers courtesy of Saara Aalto...to heavy metal swan songs a la Machine Head. From returning Welsh rap rock renegades The Kennedy Soundtrack...to returning Finnish goth godfathers Musta Paraati. From crossover WWE Superstar Elias...to young crossover Stranger Things superstars forming Calpurnia...you name it there's been something for everyone in 2018 and I like to think I've covered a fair unbiased amount of it. After over 200 albums and EP's, the above gallery showcases the best of the best of 2018 and I hope you agree with my overall picks. Below you'll find the link to the GTGC Facebook page, where you can find my lists in their entirety (Including the bonus WORST 20 OF 2018) and my official GTGC 2018 Spotify Playlist, and I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed compiling it. Here's to 2019 and all of the new music coming our way...some of it will get the GTGC treatment, and you know you're looking forward to that. Peace out bitches...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!!!!!!!!!!

While it’s been a short while now since we’ve properly heard from Anaheim alt. rockers NEW YEARS DAY, we’ve been treated to a couple of projects from front-woman Ash Costello. Last year saw her branch out with horror-pop band THE HAXANS and their incredibly fun album “Party Monsters”…but this year, although returning under the NYD moniker, we find Ash indulging herself on what is essentially a covers EP. Occasionally you’ll find interviews and articles in magazines, revolving around the artists and songs that shaped other artists…but Ash wanted to go one better and actually record her own versions of the songs she deemed so inspirational. The result; the “Diary Of A Creep” EP…a fitting tribute, or should their new year’s resolution be no more covers? Let’s find out…

We open up the EP with the sole original track “Disgust Me” and it’s somewhat appropriate, like, you say it out loud, and the EP does its fucking best to do just that. With its hard-hitting percussion and deep, chugging riffs, coupled with Ash’s melodic vocals over a hook-laden chorus, its trademark NYD…balancing subtle gothic tendencies with a heavy, nu-metal aesthetic, getting the EP off to a decent albeit standard start. We follow that with the first of five covers…and we’re spanning a plethora of era’s and styles here. Naturally it’s fair as influence can come from all walks of life, but here, together, in this style…something just doesn’t quite gel. We begin with a cover of NEW ORDER’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” and gone are the quaint synths…gone are the soft vocals of Bernard Summer…instead we find crunching, disjointed riffs and Ash’s powerful vocal chords, backed with key changes, repetitive classic guitar licks and gang vocals. The whole thing comes across as copy and paste, looping itself as it ticks along and sadly lacks any of the originals charm.

We shift gears completely next up, as we dabble in a spot of metal via PANTERA classic “Fucking Hostile” and it kind of does what it says on the tin; the raw aggression carries through with Ash’s angrier vocals and they know how to deliver a riff, but it’s hard to see how this would go down with traditional metal fans…they’ll either respect you (Albeit resentfully) for covering it in the first place, or form a Wall Of Death that even Donald Trump would be in awe of, but aim TOWARDS the stage and trample you into the floor for doing so…they’re on thin ice here. Next up…and, oh god…we have “Crawling”…yes…THAT crawling, by LINKIN PARK. Now, let’s be honest, who hasn’t been inspired in some way by Linkin Park in recent generations? But, to attempt to cover such an iconic song is BRAVE! It totally lacks the original feel of the song, there’s no angst or passion, and sadly it comes across as really quite flat, which is a complete shame. Ash’s melodic vocals work here but as soon as the track shifts into gear, it just doesn’t compare; the pain is missing and the result is a hollow song.

The last couple of tracks include GARBAGE hit “Only Happy When It Rains”, which while originally an iconic 90’s indie rock hit, here, even aided by LZZY HALE, lacks any of the song’s original feel…not even the duel vocals here can match up to Shirley Manson and if anything just makes you cringe, before there is some level of redemption on closing track “Don’t Speak”. The NO DOUBT classic works well here as Ash really does justice to Gwen Stefani’s vocal style and with the metal touch musically it gives the track a new lease of life. Overall while it’s all well and good to want to pay respects to your hero’s and inspirations, it sometimes works better in theory rather than practice. Ash and NYD have a style and a sound that suits them, and some of the tracks covered here really don’t benefit from that sound at all. If anything I guess, it gives you a chance to go through the originals, and maybe discover some classics you may have missed, depending on your age and tastes…other than that, it’s an EP of interesting but sadly disappointing covers. [4]

Anniversaries…usually happy times shared by couples as they grow old together, celebrating their love and commitment to one another…sometimes they can be nostalgic or, historic; marking so-many years since an incident or an event…though other times they can be painful; tainted with sad memories and tearful reminders, and I’m afraid in this instance we’re referring to the latter. Yes it’s nearly been a year now since Ville Valo and HIM went out with a bang and a whimper on their, admittedly rushed, 2017 farewell tour… a whole year of knowing that the Heartagram had beaten for the last time, buried alive by its own love, and it’s a truly sad fact. However…even the most melancholic gothic-laced grey clouds have silver linings, and in this instance, after a metaphorical mass funeral of hearts, in HIM’s absence we’ve got some new projects from our favourite Finn’s! Let me introduce you to FLAT EARTH…

A Finnish super-group of sorts…HIM’s six-string maestro Linde Lindstrom and former drummer Gas Lipstick make up 50% of the band, while it’s completed by former AMORPHIS bassist Niclas Etelavuori and POLANSKI vocalist Anthony Pikkarainen, and together, over the past several months they have stripped everything back, wiped the slate clean and written a no-nonsense, no frills, no gimmicks hard rock album by the name of “None For One”. The question is, is their musical prowess better than their apparent grasp of basic geology? Let’s find out…

We open up with “Subhuman” and ironically, it’s what you’d suggest someone who DOES believe that the Earth is flat would be in terms of mental capacity…slightly sluggish in tone for the most part, it comprises of slower riffs and percussion, combining a classic rock tone with just a touch of blues metal, although there’s an incredibly subtle middle-eastern feel to some of the more melodic guitar notes. Pretty straightforward stuff but it’s a fine start nevertheless. “Blame” follows up and here we find Anthony leading the musical direction more with a primarily 90’s grunge-inspired piece, backed with Linde’s distinctive string-work…the solo here is classic Linde, his fret-work is on point and you remember here how underrated a guitarist he really is.

This combination of styles is, for the most part the very foundation of this album as a whole…the back-to-basics, guitar heavy instrumentation being the very backbone of their sound while vocally we hark back to a simpler time; clean but with a certain raw emotion and in ways, at numerous points throughout this record you get a sense of ALICE IN CHAINS meets THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, really embracing those 90’s characteristics. The title track is a wonderful example, highlighting the above point really quite well…”Noble Swine” has some intense percussion and oh how we’ve missed Gas behind a drum kit, he can really drive a track and here he does just that…also baring a light resemblance to Linde’s other work with DANIEL LIONEYE in tone, before album highlight “Limelight” carries you away with a genuinely catchy little harmonic chorus and a simplistic groove. The rest of the album is generally run of the mill hard rock but as I said, that’s the aesthetic they’ve gone for; nothing fancy or over the top…just some good honest rock, which is fine. Admittedly it CAN feel a little lethargic at times, and if anything is to blame for that it IS Anthony’s vocals…maybe it’s just because I’m not too used to them and, to some extent can’t quite yet fully separate this from HIM, but he’s no Ville Valo. I know that’s the point to a degree, but this album DOES lack in belters and could do with a shot of adrenaline really. He’s got the emotion, but lacks in power. Overall the Earth here isn’t entirely flat, but it’s only just slightly concaved…they need a little more depth next time around. [5]

This is not, the greatest review in the world; no…this is just a tribute…a tribute to a once mighty beast…whose powers have been depleted faster than Superman getting pegged with a Kryptonite dildo. Yes we’re here today to remember TENACIOUS D. Back in 2001, the comedy rock duo of Jack Black and Kyle Gass would become one of the greatest cult phenomenon’s of modern alternative music, with tracks like “Wonderboy”, “Tribute” of course and not forgetting “Fuck Her Gently”, not only bridging the gap between music and comedy, but doing it so effectively. EVERYONE would sing along to these, and the sketches that littered their self-titled debut were genuinely amusing, but alas, the laughter wouldn’t last too long…

Their follow up project “The Pick Of Destiny” (Both an album and a motion picture) didn’t do so well, (At the box-office especially) losing money and receiving mixed to negative reviews; it seemed like they’d undertaken too much…perhaps their fifteen minutes was already up? The joke seemingly already wearing thin…however to the surprise of many, they returned in 2012 with the attempted come-back album “Rise Of The Fenix”. A shot at redemption, it did get them nominated for a Grammy award for Best Comedy Album, but the quality simply wasn’t matching up to their debut and although they’d grown as musicians, they’d faded somewhat as entertainers. This leads us to 2018 and again, surprisingly, we find The D releasing another studio album’ “Post-Apocalypto”. Another concept here, it coincides with their own mini animated YouTube series (I use the term animated very loosely) following their struggles and adventures in, you guessed it, a post-apocalyptic world…but is it worth the listen?

We open up with the “Post-Apocalypto Theme” and as it acts as the animations theme song it really is only a brief jingle at best…a pacey flurry of acoustic guitar and percussion backing Jack Black’s trademark dramatic vocal. It’s up-tempo, catchy enough and easy listening,  ironically ending with the line ‘Tenacious D has got to shine’…almost acknowledging previous failures. Sadly, not only are any further ACTUAL musical highlights so few and far between, over an album consisting of TWENTY ONE tracks bare in mind…but those twenty one tracks only have a 30 MINUTE run time…this really isn’t boding well. The tracks (If you can call them that honestly) that do manage to stand out are “Hope”, which delivers a sweet little acoustic ditty that transitions its way into a power ballad of sorts…there’s “Making Love” which can be looked upon in one of two ways; either it’s a spiritual successor to “Fuck Her Gently” or they’ve simply tried to emulate themselves with shamefully recycled ideas (STEEL PANTHER much?).

The random references to Elon Musk and Richard Branson during “Take Us Into Space” push for a little bit of fourth-wall breaking but as a track it’s typical as it comes; it’s accompanying skit “I’ve Got To Go” no more than standard D shenanigans really. Finding further musical points of worth is difficult…”Daddy Ding Dong” opts for a more metal inspired piece, Jack Black does love a hard rocking riff but it’s nothing shy of ridiculous. There’s sketches about sex with cave women, a random, pro-KKK piece featuring an anti-gay march, there’s a clichéd German character, all tied in to some Donald Trump references…I mean what the ACTUAL fuck? ”JB JR Rap” has a deep, dark hip-hop synth beat and some auto tune which is probably the most interesting thing musically here which says A LOT, before we end up finishing rocking out on “Woman Time” and the reprise of the theme song. Ultimately, as an accompanying album, this really falls flat and feels more like a brief collection of sound bites AT BEST…if you’re going to invest any time in new Tenacious D material, stick to the animation on YouTube, as this really fails on record. As audio content, it not only feels rushed together, but it misses the mark entirely regarding humour…there’s nothing wrong with being crude and childish occasionally, but this is just cringe-worthy, I sadly believe the D in their name now simply stands for Done. [1]

​GIRL! I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! Well, to be honest, actually I don’t, BUT, I DO however want to take you on a journey, to remind you about one of the most underrated, hardest working bands on the planet; ELECTRIC SIX. I preach this practically every year, and that’s simply because, whether you’re aware of it or not, Electric Six have practically released a new album EVERY FUCKING YEAR since “Fire”, and frankly not enough people take notice!

People may naturally assume that, to be so prolific creatively, to produce a full album a year and complete all their touring commitments, it really must be a case of quantity over quality? And sure over the years, the band have dropped a lot of their overtly blatant ridiculousness, but having spoken to front man Dick Valentine, it’s interesting to learn that, despite him being very much the face and voice of the band, it’s very much a group effort. Each member of the band in fact writes three or four songs for each album cycle, resulting in a lot of time being saved and more importantly, a rich tapestry of differing styles and influences shaping each and every record. With that in mind, we’re about to delve into album number FOURTEEN; “Bride Of The Devil”…let’s get hitched…

With Dick’s typically dry-humour we open up with “The Opener” and I do like it when things get to the point it has to be said…with its subtle distortion and sludgy riffs, accompanied by plenty of vocal wails, plus Dick favouring his gritty, higher pitched delivery here, almost channelling an AC/DC-esque style, it’s an intense but enjoyable start. This actually carries through the first half of the album with some truly solid cuts from E6, keeping momentum going at a steady but satisfying pace…tracks like “You’re Toast” musically slowing things down for the most part, opting for a semi-blues rock offering, with Dick’s vocals full of piss and vinegar, to a degree akin to something CLUTCH might produce, which is always a good thing, while “(It Gets A Little) Jumpy” is a quaint little acoustic number, full of smooth melody and Summery hooks; it really is a lovely little track.

The second half of the album however….sadly; doesn’t match the same quality. It exceeds it! It honestly just gets stronger as it goes on and seriously, the band is on top form here…”Hades Ladies” saunters in with its gravelly rock ‘n’ roll vibe and deep groove; full of swagger and confidence…the title track utilises more of a simplistic synth-based hook layered within some classic rock influences, especially the brief solo which would easily please fans of THE DARKNESS for example, before album highlight “Witches Burning” delivers some classic E6 with its bluesy guitar licks and quality riff-work with an anthemic chorus…this is quality.

The album DOES drop the ball slightly with its closing track “The Worm In The Wood” as the sudden drop in tempo isn’t so much of a come-down as a let-down, with the latter half of the album getting you pumped up, hoping for an explosive climax. The tinny almost tropical guitar’s giving off an almost CHRIS ISAAK vibe which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it can’t help but feel ever so slightly anti-climactic. Overall however that’s a minor annoyance that doesn’t take away from what is admittedly a superb album…fourteen albums in and Electric Six are still as consistent and reliable as ever, on this instance maybe even more so, as it’s one of their strongest collection of songs in a few years now…if I may paraphrase the great BILLY IDOL…it’s a nice day for a white wedding; it’s a nice day to, start listening to Electric Six again. [8]

GUNS 'N' ROSES' globe-spanning “Not In This Lifetime” tour will have finally come to an end in 2018, after more than two years of activity, having performed to over 4 MILLION people worldwide. For all of that time it’s been one of the most exciting things happening in rock music in recent memory, despite the fact that it’s been about 30 years since the height of the bands popularity. Excitement aside though, was the tour a fully-fledged success? Was it executed as well as possible for a mega rock revival? Having put together a review of sorts; taking into account the comeback’s roll-out, other reviews of specific shows, and the trajectory the whole journey established, we’ll take it point by point and find out whether or not these guns were firing blanks, or if these roses were once again in full bloom...Maryland's John Jameson elaborates.

​The band’s revival officially kicked off at COACHELLA in 2016, as the group sought successfully to shock fans by showing off the reunited duo of AXL ROSE and SLASH. That alone was enough to create a frenzy, who would have ever thought it possible?But it did draw plenty of attention to the show. As for the actual quality of the show, reviews were mixed. Some suggested that nostalgia carried the day, and that while the performance lacked some sort of, trademark injury, it was all-in-all a good listening experience. Others (Such as The San Diego Union Tribune) were more critical, suggesting that the band had aged and grown tame to a degree that made them less than themselves. Oddly, the LACK of dysfunctional nonsense that once defined the band was cited as a negative. All in all we’d say that given the reasonable level of expectation, it all went well - even if it wasn’t as wonderful as it could have been. Essentially, while lacking to some degree, it was still very welcome. [Rating: Just Okay]

​Back-tracking from the actual debut show at Coachella, it’s worth recalling any build-up to the Guns N’ Roses reunion too - even though there was in this case practically none. The closest thing there was to a hint or clue, came in the form of an ambiguous, seemingly random highlight reel played as a cinema trailer of sorts in December of 2015. Those paying VERY close attention to all things G'N'R may also have noticed a band-based casino slot game becoming popular around this time as well, though it’s unclear if this was a direct publicity effort from the band. Online slot sites these days tap into all sorts of themes, such that the most fun and lucrative thing about them is the variety. In this vein, G'N'R 'headlined' a game, as did MOTORHEAD and JIMI HENDRIX, and intentionally or not, this may too have played into revving up excitement about the band. However, there was very little direct or overt build-up. As successful as the tour has been, it may have been even more exciting with some kind of anticipatory energy. [Rating: Poor]

​This is the broadest category, and the one that matters most, though also the simplest to comment on. As with any band in any tour, Guns N’ Roses by all accounts had varying levels of energy from one night to the next throughout this tour. You can easily dig up reviews of specific shows lamenting the group’s lack of enthusiasm, as well as some praising G'N'R for being as good as ever. The truth of the matter is that it’s largely a matter of perspective. There are even divergent reports about the economics of the show. You may read that the shows aren’t selling out, for instance, but some of this is explained away by the fact that limited seats were available in lots of the larger venues, and the argument is offset by the fact that the show was by most any numerical degree an enormous success. Ultimately, what happened is that an aging, past-its-prime rock group took to the road for two-plus years and rocked concert venues around the world. OF COURSE they weren’t AS good as they were once upon a time. But they were still good. [Rating: As Good As Can Be Expected]

​It’s reasonable to argue that the most successful aspect of the “Not In This Lifetime” tour will in the end have been the anticipation it built up for future endeavors. While build-up for the tour itself may have been lacking, Guns N’ Roses has now set the stage for any subsequent album releases or additional tours it may be planning. The band has been fairly tight-lipped about future plans to this point, but it doesn’t take a psychic to guess that a new album will almost certainly be released in due time. And because of these last two years, there will be untold millions of fans ready to send it to the top of the charts the moment it comes out. So as for establishing potential, there’s really nothing negative to say. [Rating: Perfect]

Beige; such a vibrant colour…it’s got so much depth and character, it’s such an interesting and thought-provoking colour…said absolutely NO ONE ever. Beige is usually only found in the unused dust covered section of the B&Q paint chart, or in the mug-shots of Burberry-clad young offenders, but more often than not it’s used descriptively as a negative, aimed at only the blandest, most unexciting things you can think of…and this is where today’s band comes in; let me introduce you to a band called SCRATCH.

Yep, that’s right, Scratch…just Scratch, what an utterly unimaginative name…people mock HIM but at least that’s representative of the occult, but Scratch? I mean, scratch what? My arse? I dread to think of the names you thought WEREN’T good enough! Anyway we’ve only just scratched the surface…see what I did there? THAT’S ABOUT AS GOOD A USE FOR YOUR NAME AS ANY! PUNS! I digress…the band consists of members Ruzbeh Irani and Avinash Lalwani, (Ruz and Avi for short) and not only are they band mates, but childhood friends, yet what DOES make things interesting, is the fact they live thousands of miles apart, in New York and Perth, Australia respectively! This however, is literally all the info we’re given…you may think they were keeping the initial email brief, but no! I’ve checked their Facebook profile AND their actual website and that’s ALL the information! Even their bio is beige! It’s like they aren’t even trying! I’m losing interest already, but, it IS their debut EP so I’ll put it down to inexperience…what’s the EP called…”Scratch”…it’s self-titled…DAMNIT ARE YOU THAT PROUD OF THAT NAME!?!?! Let’s check it out before I burst a blood vessel…

We open up with “Soak” (I'm surprised it wasn't "Sniff") and initially it’s as though we’re heading into country blues-rock territory, but it quickly erupts with a grandiose post-rock dose of tinny guitar and percussion…the vocals are interesting in the sense that, while initially weak, they are belted out in the chorus, giving the track multiple personalities. The pitch of the backing vocals in places however is excruciating, and over its five minutes it crams in a fair amount of style, simultaneously sounding like it’s lost somewhere between U2, RADIOHEAD the PSYCHEDELIC FURS, there’s a very alternative 90’s vibe to this. “Newer Things” follows up and continues the soft vocal delivery over some light indie tones, before again cranking it up for the chorus, allowing for more vigour and general energy from the instrumentation with a slightly more distorted guitar sound, it’s quite 50/50 really.

Next up we have “I Don’t Mind” and they’re happy to point out that it’s the first song they wrote as a band and that it’s one of their favourites…carrying forward the initial soft country blues tone to the guitar, coupled with the mellow vocals, it’s got that saloon vibe to it…you can picture the montage right now; the lone outlaw slowly strolling into town at dawn, drinking liquor and smoking cigars…the subtle attitude of the electric guitar creating an aura of suspense and this is easily the best track on the EP right here, before we finish up on “The Key”.  A slow, methodical and utterly lifeless track that just drones on pointlessly with a repetitive riff and a grating, brassy guitar tone, seriously it’s so drowsy…that is until the intense almost punk-rock flurry of the chorus, but sadly these elements don’t complement each other, oh no, this song just feels broken…descending into a barrage of noise at the tracks climax. Was the key in question referring to the intake of cocaine? Because this song literally sounds like they did a studio take of before and after sniffing…ultimately Scratch sound like a band with a multitude of influences, but they’ve yet to settle on an idea as to what they want their sound to be…this sounds very trial and error. Truthfully they’d make a genuinely decent shoegaze based, blues country outfit should they keep things mellow and melodic, but the jarring rock instrumentation and rough vocals don’t benefit them at all. I guess you could say that, they should…start from scratch, which reminds me…FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKS SAKE CHANGE YOUR NAME! [3]

Now, if you’re from the UK then you are BOUND to know someone, who, when you merely mention the Polish, that will go all South Park on your ass and start shouting “Dey terk er jerbs!!”…but we’re not here to highlight immigration fearing UKIP voting redneck folk, no, we’re here to talk music, and today’s band just happens to be from Warsaw, Poland; Let me introduce you to THE FREUDERS. The four-piece (Consisting of vocalist / guitarist Tymon Adamczky, guitarist Olek Adamski, drummer Jacek Lodi Piatkowski and bassist /programmer Maciek Witkowski) got in touch with me via email and asked me to check out their newest EP by the name of “Omniform”…the tracks have been described as being 4 atoms, distances apart but ready to collide together to exude the powerful force that is this EP, emanating in a metaphorical black hole, sucking you in to the music. That’s a pretty bold statement! Where did they produce this; the fucking Hadron Collider? Let’s check it out…

The EP opens up with “Rhino” and just like the hulking animal itself the idea is that it charges at you with its duel socio-political message of combating terrorism and the idea of lady justice; the government’s that live vicariously through her via means of war and conflict…an incredibly deep track that musically takes on a morose, grunge-fuelled post-rock tone channelling influences such as AFGHAN WHIGS. Mostly spoken word, but thankfully it does come to life for the chorus salvaging something at least from a listening perspective; it’s a decent start. “Alter Ego” follows up and it’s like a constant battle between warring split personalities, like Tymon is speaking of the allowed consumption of his one side by the other, almost singing to himself, but again, aside from an bold yet fuzzy, classic-rock guitar solo at the tracks climax it’s still just another slow, monotonous offering for the most part.

“Brotherhood” continues this approach with another sluggish, grunge-based, mostly spoken work piece, only offering slight melody with the brief chorus…slightly droning, even layering what sounds like whale-song inspired instrumentation within the latter half of the track, allowing for a somewhat shoegaze experience but it still feels and sounds lazy, before closing track “Shipwreck” takes you on a nihilistic journey through the zombified mind of a sailor going through the motions at sea…fed up of his Captain’s seemingly endless quest, the voyage at sea becoming bleak, the repetition pushing him to almost breaking point…the mantra of “we sink – we drown” the only thought seemingly keeping him going, veering off at the end like he secretly wishes to end his existence in the cold sea below. With the grunge elements still driving the music there’s also subtle prog influences here too and at points you can hear the bands appreciation of TOOL creeping through, giving us the EP’s only other notable point of interest really.

Mind you with that said it, doesn’t take away from the fact that, overall, the seventeen minutes of music that makes up this EP is arguably some of the dreariest you’ll likely hear all year…even instrumentally, aside from a few interesting guitar licks and ideas, it’s just a really lacklustre listen, both uneventful and unexciting. They may share a name with Sigmund Freud, historically possibly the world’s foremost leading name in neurology and psychoanalytic research, but even he would struggle to find motivation here, sadly this EP really is that boring. [3]

That awkward moment when your girl asks you over for ‘Netflix & Chill’ but the Netflix is so good that the chill doesn’t happen…this, my friends, is what happens when you discover “Stranger Things”. Only two seasons strong, the Netflix original has garnered one of the strongest cult followings in recent TV history with its throwback 80’s tones and quaint sense of pop-culture nostalgia, combining sci-fi and low-key horror with classic teen-flick vibes, all wrapped up in homage to the likes of Stephen King. One of its main strengths is it’s incredible young cast and today we’re going to be focusing on one in particular; Finn Wolfhard. Now still only 15 years old the Canadian has shown some incredibly impressive acting chops not only with his drama and emotional skills in Stranger Things, but also in the remake of the aforementioned Stephen King’s “IT”, where he got to embrace a more comedic role and pulled it off brilliantly.

This isn’t Cinemassacre however and  we’re not here to review movies, but luckily Finn is a young lad of many talents and it’s here I’m going to point you in the direction of a band by the name of CALPURNIA, which he somehow finds the time for between film and TV! Founded in Vancouver just last year by Finn (Who’s on guitar and vocals) plus drummer Malcolm Craig, the band is completed by guitarist / vocalist Ayla Tesler-Mabe and bassist Jack Anderson, and they have already released a debut EP of original content entitled “Scout”. The question is, at their young age, do we find ourselves with another HANSON or heaven forbid, AARON CARTER? Let’s find out…

The EP opens up with a track called “Louie” and to my surprise we’ve got this restrained, stripped back, blues country type piece, but it also utilises a subtle, almost Caribbean tone; rich in its tinny-guitar and lulling ambiance. It’s an unexpectedly mature sound (Unless it’s been inspired by Spongebob) and nowhere near the energetic, colourful indie-pop I was expecting. The rawness of the track is hammered home by Finn’s vocals which here sound their weakest from a production perspective, but it only adds to the tracks character, really embracing the original feel for minimalist bluegrass. “Wasting Time” maintains the overall tone musically but here we have a little more of that energy I expected, embracing more of an early rock ‘n’ roll feel and it’s got a genuinely solid guitar solo to boot; this is much better.

“Greyhound” is a twee, melodic, up-beat track that’s disguising a certain sadness, as the story finds our character following a break up, travelling to a show alone after buying two tickets, you can feel his disappointment…the accompanying video too has a simple but effective message portraying everyone in life has a different path, but it’s all about the journey in the end as life always tends to work out eventually. Lead single “City Boy” returns to that raw, bluesy tone but has a simple but enjoyable chorus with gang vocals and happy-go-lucky vibe. “Blame” and “Waves” then round off the EP with a quirky, up-tempo indie piece and a more, relaxed, shoegaze inspired track respectively; the latter allowing Ayla to take a more prominent role vocally. Ultimately as I said previously the sound they’ve gone for is far more mature than what could have been expected and I don’t mean that with any sense of detriment…there’s zero sign of any commercial manufacturing here and it shows it’s not just a PR ploy to make Finn even more famous, this is about a BAND, not just Finn and that needs to be highlighted. They’ve written this EP the way THEY wanted it, and while it’s a little rough around the edges, if it’s something they want to stick at, working around Finn’s acting schedule, they have all the genuine potential to be a solid blues rock band; the talent is already there it just needs a little fine tuning. Let’s just hope Finn’s not eaten by a Demogorgon or some shit in Stranger Things season 3, or this project might find itself upside down too. [5]