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Cindy - "Free Advice"

11/10/2020

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Some of the best things in life are free; like, that 7th cup of McDonalds coffee after you’ve already paid for six, and now have a caffeine addiction, because you got them all in one day instead of over the course of the week...or that “Songs Of Innocence” album by U2 that everybody had but nobody wanted (Show me on the doll where iTunes touched you Timmy...it’s OK), but what about free advice? You’ve all heard ‘don’t eat yellow snow’...OK Ehren McGhehey missed that memo, but generally, these things are obvious, and aimed at dumb people. Sorry Ehren. 

So then, what are today’s band trying to tell us? CINDY are a San Francisco based 4-piece consisting of guitarist/lead vocalist Karina Gill, guitarist Aaron Diko, bassist Jesse Jackson and drummer Simon Phillips, and have recently released their new album “Free Advice” through Mt. St. Mtn. and Tough Love Records. The label got in touch via email advising me to check it out...whether I advise YOU to do so however remains to be seen. 

The album opens up with “Discount Lawyer” and I’ll start with some free advice straight away. If you’re in a position where you do find yourself requiring a lawyer, don’t skimp...the last thing you want is your own defence lawyer shouting objection when the jury finds you NOT guilty. I digress...the track itself is a very subdued piece of hushed, lo-fi indie pop. The delicately strummed guitars are backed by an equally soft synth underlay, while Karina’s vocals are reduced to little more than a whispered, spoken word delivery, resulting in a very slow, stripped back, icy opener. 

We follow this up with the first of two, yes two, album highlights...sounds specific but I counted all of them I promise. “Falcon Heavy” utilises a similar tone in terms of their writing and playing, with all of the same elements, but the guitars and percussion here, while still minimal are more up-beat, and the track has a more jovial, positive quirkiness as a result. It’s chirpy in its simplicity and quite a pleasant little listen. “Wrong Answer” then turns everything up a notch or two courtesy of some more assertive, fuzzy guitars and a more rock-based approach, despite the vocals still suffering from a lack of presence. With all of those positives out of the way however, there are still eight tracks to sit through, and I make that sound more encouraging than it is. 

“Song 23” is only song five on the album, but feels like song two HUNDRED and three...the slow, dreary semi-acoustic piece of mellow instrumentation induces immediate sadness...take away the lyrics and it sounds like the rainy church scene in Disney’s Robin Hood, with the little mouse priest playing the organ in utter despondency in the face of hopelessness. Remember that? Depressed yet? I am. We have “A Song In French” which you’ll be shocked to learn isn’t in Japanese...there isn’t much to be said here really...take all of the above references to depression and translate them to French. Job done. “CSI Creeptown” to be honest sounds like a program I’d genuinely watch on TV, but sadly it isn’t an offshoot of the popular crime drama, what it IS, is more of the same, sombre indie. 

This sadly, is a stylistic approach that the album sticks to rather rigidly, which by closing number “Lost On Me”, sums up exactly how I feel about the album as a whole. I’m sure there’s a market and audience for this, funeral parlours perhaps, but jokes aside, very little here grips you. As a mature piece of ambient shoegaze it’s so quaint in its presentation, but so utterly boring. iTunes, actually, U2, I apologise. Cindy...here’s some free advice...quit while you’re behind. [2] 

WWW.CINDYTHEBAND.BANDCAMP.COM/MUSIC
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William Shatner - "The Blues"

6/10/2020

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Music: the final frontier. These are the voyages of GavTheGothicChav. My continuing mission, to explore strange new albums. To seek out new sounds and new genres. To boldly go where no reviewer has gone before! *Strange angelic vocal harmonies surround me while I Naruto-run around HMV* I find myself weirdly drawn to an unfamiliar section of the store...uncharted, if you will, and there it is. What I lay my eyes upon, no amount of Vulcan logic can explain...an album the likes of which, not even the fiercest Klyngon warrior would dare initiate combat...but it is my prime directive. I have to review; “The Blues” by WILLIAM SHATNER. 

Yes, William Shatner is, as you should be well aware, one of the most iconic pop-culture actors and performers to ever grace television and Hollywood. As James T. Kirk, he captained the USS Enterprise as Star Trek travelled beyond cult status, helping create a global sci-fi phenomenon still adored to this day. But while he is primarily remembered for this role, the man’s career spans seven decades, and as well as other film and tv projects, in 2020, at the age of 89...we find him releasing music. It wouldn’t be the first time; he’s released country and spoken word works in the past...but here we find him singing the blues...the question is, is this merely another entry in the captain's log, or just a steaming pile of Shatner? Let’s find out...
 


The album opens up with
“Sweet Home Chicago”, which, for a man born in Montreal is already casting suspicions. Instrumentally it’s fine it has to be said, the general rhythm and guitar tone here is textbook blues; it’s got that very distinct feel and energy and ticks all of the right blues rock boxes for about as cliched a listen as you could get, but vocally...in the words of George Takei...OH MY! Shatner has always been renowned for his off-kilter verbiage...he’s always delivered his lines in an almost disjointed manner while acting...but he does it singing too. It just sounds strange! Perhaps the blues allows for this as, like jazz, you just go where the mood and music takes you, but it still makes for a peculiar listen. 

Let’s be honest here Shatner is no singer and this album was never going to amaze anyone with his vocal prowess, especially at 89, but we’ll sift through some positives.
“Sunshine Of Your Love” and “Born Under A Bad Sign” showcase some of the albums more favourable performances...the guitars on the former allow for a darker, more brooding delivery. Lyrically I guess it’s a sweet love song as the title suggests but somehow Shatner makes it sound anything BUT consensual, which in it’s own ways is as funny as it is creepy. The latter then sounds like it could come straight out of a movie scene in some down-and-out roadhouse, but instead of starring someone cool like Patrick Swayze, it would be like, Rob Schneider or something. 

​CANNED HEAT
classic “Let’s Work Together” gets a showing and again, instrumentally it’s fine but Shatner sounds more like a motivational speaker or, site manager on a tight deadline as opposed to a singer, while his cover of “I Put A Spell On You” is, frankly remarkable. It’s a song that’s been covered multiple times over the years, but, credit to him, Shatner still manages to put a unique spin on it, only reinforced by the accompanying animated video which, I will let you just experience for yourself below. That right there really, I suppose is the best way to summarise this album...it’s not something you can simply listen to, it’s something you really just have to experience. As I said musically and instrumentally, it’s fine, he’s got some quality musicians driving this album, luckily, but vocally he’s got as much talent as a dead Tribble. With that said...the end of the album please Mr. Sulu...warp 9, that’s an order. [1] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/WILLIAMSHATNER
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    Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x

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