Few things in this world entertain me more than the idea of terrifying little children. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t belong on a register before you all jump the gun here, (I have three names, none of which are Jimmy and/or Saville) but I’m talking about when kids get legitimately scared. You’ve all seen little YouTube videos or Vines etc., where kids get startled by something or, if a parent pranks them in scary mask or whatever, and they end up bursting out crying and running away in some sort of mild panic attack, squealing and screaming…that shits funny! Well today’s band takes a more philosophical look at that entire concept; let’s catch up with NIGHTMARES FROM THE DISCOTHEQUE.

Formerly going by the moniker of MASSIVE HORSE, I discovered the Cardiff based duo of Canz Rickman and Rick Schaple many moons ago when they supported firm favourites of mine ELECTRIC SIX at a show in the Welsh capital, and I’ve been an admirer ever since. Their penchant for comedic song writing based on social commentary is genuinely entertaining, and they’ve managed to get the balance between humour and musical integrity spot on. I often reference STEEL PANTHER in these situations, where the joke and gimmick has truly worn thin, but NFTD continue to be both inspired and creative.

Regardless of whichever name they go by however, they’ve proven in the past that they can mix horror and comedy very well indeed. Whether it’s the brilliantly catchy vampire parody “She Only Comes Out At Night”, or the sexually haunting “Phantom Pregnancy”, they do enjoy dabbling in the darker aspects of entertainment, and their new track backs that up wonderfully; “Real Things To Scare Your Children”. Yes their new Halloween track see’s the pair in character, cos-playing as ‘Robert Smyth’ and ‘Marilyn Maanson’ in brilliantly tongue-in-cheek fashion, as they take us on a tour of Marilyn’s Mansion in the accompanying music video, where we aren’t subject to the hauntings of ghosts and monsters, but real life adult problems such as taxes, declined credit card payments, running out of toilet paper and all manner of horrifying scenarios. If you appreciate a spot of dark humour and want to inject a little fun into this year’s Halloween party playlist, you can find the track on Apple Music, iTunes and Spotify, the links to which are on the NFTD Facebook profile, linked below. Check out the video, and leave a comment sharing what scares YOU…personally in a sense of twisted irony, I’m afraid of horses, so I’m glad they dropped the Massive Horse name, I mean, normal sized horses are bad enough! FUCK! THAT!

Now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales about us Welsh…stories about non-licet liaisons with animals of a woollen nature (For the record, Velcro gloves work wonders, though you didn’t hear that from me) but it’s not ALL about sheep shagging, let me tell you! Yes aside from our preferred bestial pastimes we do occasionally dabble in a spot of rock ‘n’ roll and as I’ve stated before, South Wales is a hotbed of up-and-coming bands and musicians. Now while a lot of attention is heaped on the Cardiff area because of its bustling live venues, we can’t forget about the rest of Wales, and today we’re taking a little trip up the valleys to a town called Aberdare for our next band; HEAVY FLAMES.

Comprising of vocalist David Hill, guitarists Lee Harvey and Ryan Lewis, bassist Gareth Owen and drummer Richard Boggis, the outfit are all about the old-school; opting to ignore what’s happening in the world of modern music, to play in their preferred style of classic blues-inspired rock ‘n’ roll…and they’ve showcased this on their debut full length album; “Bolt On The Rust”. The question is does this pile of rust belong on the scrapheap?

The album opens up with “Clearly Not A Welcome Rain” and it utilises the gradual build really quite well…we’re subject to a simplistic looped guitar sequence, blending in to some subtle percussion, as David wraps his vocals around proceedings before the track eventually erupts into a barrage of harmonica-fuelled rock. It’s bold as it is brash instrumentally, the southern blues tones giving this track some real swagger when it gets going and it’s an enjoyable start this.

The rock ‘n’ roll keeps on coming through album highlights such as “Nature Of The Beast” too…another initially low-key start but it quickly comes to life with some rich organ-eqsue synths akin to the likes of THE DOORS or even DEEP PURPLE in places; really embracing that early hard rock transitional period…not quite metal yet but the exploration into the weight and delivery of the instrumentation is all there. “Acre Of Graves” hammers this home brilliantly with its meatier riffs and almost polyrhythmic percussion, allowing for subtle prog aesthetics. The tone of the track here is a touch darker, incorporating more of a BLACK SABBATH vibe while still retaining their aforementioned synth-driven core sound and it’s a solid track.

There are a couple of lesser moments scattered around the album though, “Insult To The Brain” is more of an insult to my eardrums in all honesty, mainly because of that fucking guitar loop that makes your eye twitch. ‘Duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duh’ it goes over, and over, and over, and over, and over…the chorus provides a brief respite, but it comes back and the repetition of this specific chord sequence just drives you mad. Maybe it’s just me but this makes me want to cause physical harm to the brain of whoever decided to record this particular track, not just insult it. “House Full Of Women” suffers from a similar problem although the riff here is quirkier and the track is generally grittier overall, salvaging it somewhat.

Generally speaking though those are minor irritants more than anything and don’t really take away from the album as a whole…the recording quality and sound that they’ve gone for clearly harks back to those classic days in the 70’s with the bluegrass-inspired tones, with the band managing to retain that certain rawness in their production. Younger fans of rock and metal may view this as old-fashioned or, maybe even uncool, but if you appreciate the nostalgia of those formative years in rock ‘n’ roll’s evolution then you’ll likely appreciate this a lot more. Not quite niche per se, but it certainly has more of a target audience in mind. [5]

Gothic music has for the most part; got a bit of stigma or, a reputation from the non-initiated…many simply view it as maybe just a tad miserable or, maybe even slightly suicidal, and to be fair these CAN be traits of the genre. There are of course those however more acquainted to this, misunderstood style and its nuances, that find the beauty amidst the often bleak poetic content, but most people simply think “Fuck me this is depressing!”… Today’s band doesn’t particularly help things in that sense…let’s talk about LACRIMAS PROFUNDERE.

The German outfit (Now consisting of vocalist Julian Larre, guitarist Oliver Nikolas Schmid and drummer Dominik Scholz) have a name that translated from Latin, literally means ‘To Shed Tears’…so we’re practically crying before we even press play, fucking amazing start! I digress…while the bands origins in the early 90’s harboured more of a progressive doom aesthetic, they over time switched up their sound to the more iconic Gothic / dark rock style we know and love today, but that doesn’t mean we’re alleviated from the doom and gloom…au contraire, there’s just marginally less doom! 2019 finds the band releasing their 12th studio album; “Bleeding The Stars”…so, Kleenex at the ready then folks; but will we be shedding happy tears in the end? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “I Knew And Will Forever Know” and in all honesty it’s a pretty slow, lumbering start. The initial guitars seem to drag alongside Larre’s vocal drawl as if they’ve already given up the ghost so to speak, such is the level of sonic misery. We do get a little more lively for the chorus mind you, as the percussion picks up, accompanying heavier, more tortured vocals; really walking a fine line between their doom-metal back ground and a more melodic, melancholy. This is for the most part a reoccurring theme throughout this ten-track album…”Mother Of Doom” being a prime example (The clue is in the name to be honest). Although to be fair, as dreary as it is superficially, it’s the deep baritone croon of Larre that allows this track to connect with the listener. It’s low-key, low tempo and generally minimalistic but it’s the mood and atmosphere that carries this…it’s actually incredibly well delivered and while it isn’t about to kick start any parties, it has to be applauded.

While a lot of this album is a touch bleak, there are some enjoyable highlights that twinkle in the darkness; flashes of brilliance from this dying star if you will. “After All Those Infinities” for example really ramps up the tempo and for its brief run time it manages to deliver a boisterous, albeit brief melodic hard rock number; the kind of track that leaves you wanting more. “Father Of Fate”, unlike the preceding mother, is far more upbeat…perhaps he’s won some brutal custody battle? Who knows? Regardless, its hook-laden synth-driven style, coupled with the well balanced dual vocal approach of deep crooning and pissed-off snarling, makes for an entertaining listen. The real stand-out however comes in the form of “Celestite Woman”…the simplicity of the chugging bass, the lyricism and overall song structure coupled with the abundance of melody; this easily lives up to previous gems such as “The Shadow I Once Kissed” and “My Velvet Little Darkness” as an individual highlight, and it’s Lacrimas at their brilliantly bleakest best. This album though as a whole may not live up to some previous standards, 2004 to 2010 was a superb timeline in all honesty, but this is a solid Gothic rock album that hits most of the right filthy notes, in spite of how low they are. [7]