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Grant Macdonald - "Ram Ranch"

7/8/2022

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Allow me to preface the following review, with an outpouring of regret, grief, more regret, bewilderment and, a little bit more regret, through a literary veil of self-therapy. There was absolutely zero reason, obligating me to conduct the following review, but, at the same time, there was absolutely EVERY reason that I couldn’t NOT do this review. This is the review equivalent of Hogan v Warrior at WrestleMania VI, but with more baby oil...let me set the stage. 

You know by now that, while I am perfectly capable of writing a decent, or at the very least, serious review, whether here or over on ALL ABOUT THE ROCK, I get my kicks out of the more, unusual and questionable releases available to me. I can point my finger at the likes of, KIM PETRAS, or, going back to COREY FELDMAN; I like a challenge, but this is the sort of thing that can break a man. This can Brokeback Mountain the fuck out of a man...this is “Ram Ranch” by GRANT MACDONALD, and I blame young Charlie Bryant for this 1 hour and 7 minutes of audio torture. Even the inmates at Guantanamo Bay would feel sorry for me here, but, fuck it...saddle up, we’re going in (Dry)… 

Firstly, who IS Grant Macdonald? Little is known about this alleged Canadian, other than that he might be Canadian, and his name might be Grant Macdonald...he’s like the BANKSY of homoerotic cowboy rock. The album we’re tackling today originally came out in 2012, so, aside from being a rare case of retrospective reviewing from me, we’ve had a decade to process, and at times, begrudgingly accept “Ram Ranch”. It’s been used as pro-LGBTQ+ content in protests and rallies, and over its existence it became a running meme and an ongoing source of absurdity. To this day Grant has apparently released SIX HUNDRED variants of “Ram Ranch”, which is frankly both impressive and alarming. Dude has a passion, what can I say? With that said, the only way is down, as we process this piece of... art? 

The album opens up with the title track, and, we initially have a dose of rather subdued heavy metal instrumentation, with all of the riffs, licks and kick drums. I say subdued because it’s practically background noise. On a production level, it’s like a demo in terms of audio quality, but the capability is there, that in itself is promising...but it’s the vocal content that draws attention here.
 


Allow me to set the tone lyrically; “18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch, big hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked, 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked? Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch on their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks; Ram Ranch really rocks!”. This is the primary content of the track from start to finish, and it’s the absurdity of this that, at first, makes it mildly amusing and, quite distressing simultaneously. The worst bit? The spoken-word over metal sounds like, CHILLS, arguably THE WORST YouTube narrator in the history of the internet, got a record deal. The repetition and looping of track one IS painful, sure, but we have 11 tracks left. Even my Jack Daniel’s needs a Jack Daniel’s... 
 
Second track “Plowboy” has such a reverberated overlay of vocal samples, it becomes an absolute trippy mess from the moment it starts, with some, moog-esque synths, setting the tone for some almost 70’s porn rock sleaze. It’s the kind of thing to make your eye twitch, which one all depends on you and your tastes, I’m not here to discriminate. 

Next up we have, “Cowboys Fucking Cowboys” and, you remember when KID ROCK was like, “I wanna’ be a Cowboy baby!”? Yeah, we’re going to shatter his dreams right now. The gentle acoustics here could easily, EASILY be used for a more serious, affectionate country ballad, but there’s so much lyrical cowboy fucking here, riding butthole’s deep...it’s like...you know when ROGER ALAN WADE did “If You’re Gonna’ Be Dumb” for JACKASS, but instead of a montage of stunts, it was gay porn...that about sums it up. 
 
“Prince Harry” returns abruptly to that riff-heavy metal musicality, and it’s a wonder how the ever-loving fuck he got away with this one. I don’t know if this would be art, slander, or character assassination, but telling him to ride those big hard ram ranch cowboy cocks, bouncy, bouncy up and down, up and down, drink that cum, ram another cock up your royal bum? I don’t even know where the line is legally with this. I think of Harry now, in 2022, but this was ten years ago, ok Harry was still 28 at the time, but Christ. This is worse than that time he wore that Nazi costume to a party and made the front page. Who would have thought THAT could be topped? 

Next up, I feel personally attacked, as we have “Suck That Cock Gavin”, and, no. Firstly I’m not even joking, that’s that track name! I’m barely here to listen to the album, I’m certainly not signing up for that. I recently reviewed VR SEX and not even they were that immersive, calm the fuck down Grant! Or at least buy me dinner first!? I’ll take the salad, hold the ram ranch dressing please... 

“Big Hard Cowboy Cock” sounds like, generic mid 90’s WCW music, excluding the lyrics, obviously, Ted Turner wouldn’t tolerate that. Imagine like, the Nitro Girls were gay cheerleaders? Disco Inferno and Alex Wright would have much better careers. ” Hard Horsecock” implies that we’re entering the world of bestiality here now, and I don’t even know what I can get away with. We’ve all heard the phrase ‘hung like a horse’, but this is sung like a cunt. “12 Inch Cock” has industrialised metal elements but it’s more like, queer factory than FEAR FACTORY, while “Stable Boy” houses a more urbanised gangsta-rap / hip-hop aesthetic, but it drops more soap than it does bars. 

Ultimately, whoever Grant Macdonald is...he’s committed. Or at least he should be. Credit to him, I can barely think of the words to sum this up. Not since AC/DC has an artist produced so much content with so little substance. Sure, he’s able to mix it up musically, utilising rock and metal, country and Americana, as well as hip-hop, so he’s technically actually better than AC/DC, but lyrically and vocally, I’m assuming it’s something you have to be in-on, or, ‘get’.

Ideal for reaction videos, or making friends and family question you when they hear you play it on Spotify, but, at over an hour long, it’s not a fun album in the slightest, and once the initial shock wears off, and you’ve done the whole “Wtf?” head shake, it very quickly becomes monotonous and boring. Let’s be honest, there’s only so much hard throbbing cowboy cock you can take, y’know? No? Ok then... [0]

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Jackass: A Music Retrospective

24/4/2022

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Hello I’m Gavin Griffiths, and welcome to my blog...certain generations, have their own favoured and, primarily heartfelt, nostalgic pieces of pop-culture that, they fondly look back on, with a happy tear in their eye, and the very fondest of memories. Sure, I was born in 89’ (Age reveal right there) and remember plenty of things like the Power Rangers taking over the world, the original Pokémon taking over the world, the SPICE GIRLS phenomenon taking over the world, Pinky & The Brain WANTING to take over the world, but nothing gripped me more as a young teen and, quite truthfully, prospectless delinquent, than JACKASS. 

When it first hit screens in 2000 on
MTV, I was HOOKED. Sure, it was ridiculous watching Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O et al putting themselves through what they did, and let's be quite honest here, a LOT of us did the same, ignoring those “professional warnings” (I’m not joking when I say that, I should be dead right now, not writing this), but it was that on-screen friendship, that level of banter and comradery, that had us all cringing, crying, and laughing our asses off, often simultaneously.  

While the stunts themselves are memorable, and oh boy there are so many to pick from, we often forget, or, overlook the soundtracks; the songs that remind us of that one particular time we laughed, while someone nearly died. Now in 2022, as the guys
(Along with some fresh cast members) have released the franchises fourth movie instalment; “Jackass Forever”, which is out on Blu-Ray now, and with “Jackass 4.5” hitting Netflix next month, let’s look at the music that enhances the stupidity, and take a deep dive into some of the most memorable musical moments in Jackass history. 

Now, for the sake of this piece not being biblical in length, we’ll be focusing on the movies, but if there’s one song you HAVE to include, it’s “Corona” by MINUTEMEN. Sure, it may have been released back in 1984, with its own intended purposes, and meanings to the early punk-rockers, but when you hear those opening chords, you just picture that skull and crutches logo hitting the black screen, and you just KNOW you are in for a good time. The up-beat, jovial tones of the song enhance the light-hearted tomfoolery of the prank-loving cast, and as a bouncy piece of music, with it’s almost oompah-esque level of frivolity, it’s perfect for the laugh-along nature of the show. It resurrected an entire band and became an anthem for modern day idiots in one swoop. You simply HAVE to smile, when you hear this song come on, it’s an unwritten law. 

​Before we get into some specifics there are some famous stand-out, and reoccurring tracks that we have to applaud, and the first of those, has to be the
“Party Boy” theme. It’s no more, than a simple piece of retro, synth-driven funky dance music, but as SOON as you hear those bass-driven keys pulse through your speakers, you just KNOW, that someone, from somewhere, is going to strip down to a shiny silver thong, and dance crotch-first into your face. Again, the very thought of Chris Pontius getting to do his favourite thing in the world; strip, to dance semi-naked for some unsuspecting victim, will never not be hilarious. I don’t care if you’re a Japanese fortune teller or Sami Zayn at WWE’s WrestleMania...you aren’t safe from Party Boy! 
We can’t NOT mention, ROGER ALAN WADE. Johnny Knoxville’s cousin and blues country icon, he probably IS mostly famous for his contribution to Jackass in wider circles, but his penchant for his heart-on-his-sleeve lyricism, was fine-tuned to perfection on this mellow masterpiece; “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb You Gotta Be Tough”. It carries with it the same light-hearted tone as the title theme, but lyrically it just fits PERFECTLY. It makes light of the absurdity and insanity, and while a relaxed acoustic piece, it only enhances the fun. It’s one of those songs that, like with the intro, simply brings a happy tear to your eye as you know EXACTLY where this comes from, what it represents. Country music is rarely considered anthemic, but in its own right this is the anthem of idiots worldwide. 

​So much so in fact, it’s become sort of, a secondary Jackass anthem, having appeared in all of the movies in some capacity. In
"Jackass Number Two", we had a version by SMUT PEDDLERS, which brought a far more intense, raw, punk-rock tone to the track, which was fitting with the film. While the song went up a level, so did the cast, and so did the stunts, and it was just next level brilliance in its own right. Everyone enjoys a good number two. “Jackass 3D” saw YEAH YEAH YEAHS front-woman KAREN-O wrap her vocals around another fresh cover, which, DID return to a more country/acoustic, almost banjo vibe, as we’d come full circle, and this was almost closure for the team. There was a poignancy to the track, as it was here, that we’d thought we’d seen the last of the Jackass crew on the big screen, or any screen, and it was sweet. This is something that ties us into the next three tracks...bear with me while I get a bit weepy. 
 In terms of closure, few tracks hit home more emotionally than “Memories” by WEEZER, from “Jackass 3D”. Those closing credits ten years ago, with the old-school footage, the apropos lyrical reflection on the cast and crews' memories...despite being a genuinely fun song, it was a beautifully sad song at the very same time. We grew up with the crew, their antics, and it felt like closure, and memories were all we would have of this brilliantly insane decade. Sadly, memories would become TOO meaningful, as Ryan Dunn, one of the most beloved cast members, tragically passed away in a car accident not too long after the third film came out. While the song “Memories” brought happy tears to our eyes, Roger Alan Wade returned to really turn on the water works, with his song “The Light Outlives The Star”, and while not part of the Jackass movie continuity, from a soundtrack point of view, it HAS to be included. RIP Ryan, we miss you and we love you, you Random Hero you. 

This brings us back to “Jackass Forever”, and ten years in the making, they made sure we felt all of the feels. JOHNNY CASH played us into the trailer with “We’ll Meet Again” and we couldn’t WAIT for the latest instalment...the quaint qualities of the track brought back all of the nostalgia, the laughs, the good times, and those memories, and we knew the new film was going to go HARD. Harder than the man in black, drugged up playing a prison concert. Harder than Chris Pontius’ Godzilla penis...spoiler alert. “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb...” gets another nostalgic, acoustic cover this time courtesy of DJ PAUL and YELAWOLF but it incorporates a more modern, trap/hip-hop vibe and goes down its own lyrical route, breathing fresh life into the track a decade on. It brings together a new generation, a new cast, a new audience, and it’s quirky. 

Elsewhere, every song, has different connections to different fans, depending on their own personal Jackass preference. Very easily, we could talk about CKY and the connection with Bam, as he merged his original footage into the original series, and got his brothers band a full-on cult-like following. We all remember “69 Quite Bitter Beings” or, “Bernadette Nerr”, and of course, “Flesh Into Gear” from the first movie...and we can’t ignore “Afterworld” from “Jackass 3D”. CKY goes hand-in-hand with Jackass, but they are one of the most underrated bands on the planet. ANDREW WK can’t be left out with his party-hard anthem “We Want Fun”. Seeing the Jackass guys on Kerrang! in this music video was just amazing! 

​These are all key songs though in marketing, promotion, but what tracks stand out to our favourite stunts? While I could be here all day laughing to myself about the stupidest shit imaginable, what truly stands out? Ok the new movie has yet to sink into to our pop-culture conscious but, while these things take repeated views to really hammer home their genius, we can easily fondly remember the classics. The first movie has
“Let’s Get Fucked Up” from the golf cart scenes...perfectly delivered by the SMUT PEDDLERS as Knoxville gets knocked out. SLAYER provide “Angel Of Death” for the first ever movie stunt, the “Rent-A-Car Derby”...the SAHARA HOTNIGHTS soundtrack Ryan Dunn getting the shit kicked out of him by a girl, and how can we ignore SIR MIX-A-LOT with “Baby Got Back”?
Number two got a little more cultured, including a variety of artists, ranging from rap group THREE 6 MAFIA who happily watched Dave England eat dry horse shit...to the ELVIS PRESLEY classic “A Little Less Conversation” enhancing the “Beehive Limo”...we had Scandinavian leather rockers TURBONEGRO play “The Gauntlet” via “All My Friends Are Dead”, while Chris Pontius himself delivered a track called “Karazy” which was an unofficial sequel to “Sand Vagina”.  

​TWSITED SISTER
aided in the intro to “Jackass 3D” with “The Kids Are Back”, which was poignant too in the grand scheme of things, while we had blistering numbers by SASSAFRAS and a returning Roger Alan Wade with “Party In My Pants” ...before the ten-year hiatus, and ultimately, “Jackass Forever”, provided us with a fresh bunch of artists. Fans of Jackass will have their favourite cast-members, their favourite stunts and their favourite songs from the series, but collectively, we have to appreciate the thought and consideration that’s gone into these compilations. Sure, we’ve all made stunt clips, skating videos, skits, inspired by the Jackass crew, hell, I’ve been lucky enough to meet Steve-O and Bam, but we all take different memories from the stunts, the scenes, and the songs.
 We are blessed to live in a world where Jackass not only exists, but is applauded. It is escapism in the grandest form, it is relief from all of our own pain, suffering and misery, it is therapy for those less fortunate, and for that, and I will fucking name you...Jeff, Spike, Dimitry, Johnny, Bam, Steve-O, Ryan, Chris, Preston, Weeman, Rachel, Poopies, Ehren, Jasper, Zach, Eric, Dave, Raab, Rake, DiCamillo, Jess, April, Phill, Novak, Kosick, Loomis, Lance, Sean, everyone...THANKYOU. Everyone involved who ever made my own up-bringing a better place; THANKYOU...these soundtracks, as well as these films, fuelled a generation, and I, as well as many other people around the world, wouldn’t be the same without Jackass. Am I dumb? Yes. Am I tough? You bet your ass I’m tough...and I have these misfits to thank for it. We all do. Now, in the words of those Smut Peddlers...let’s get fucked up. #JackassForever. 

Remember, Jackass Forever is available RIGHT NOW on Blu-Ray, and other downloadable media type things, also the unseen footage will be included in Jackass 4.5, which will be on Netflix on May 20th. Merchandise is available online, and you can follow all of your favourite Jackass stars on social media. Warning...the stunts that you may or may not have remembered in this nostalgic commemorative write-up were performed by professionals. Neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt any of the things that this article has fondly reminisced on your behalf, because I’m not going to court because you’re a fucking idiot. Seriously I’m hammering that point home right now I know what the internet is like. Actually, scrap that, I’m not a hypocrite, just don’t come crying to me when you’ve got a toy car up your ass, getting tossed by a bull, eating a vomlette, blindfolded, in an exploding portable toilet. If it DOES happen though, film it for fuck's sake, don’t waste good footage.  

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JACKASS
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Various Artists - "The Metallica Blacklist"

14/9/2021

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Iconic...legendary...these are words quite often thrown around haphazardly nowadays. Like, you're at the bar and your mate goes for a round and comes back with a cheeky packet of pork scratchings, so you call him a legend. No, he’s not a legend, he’s a bell-end he could have grabbed two packs the selfish twat. I digress. When it comes to something like music, or art in general, it takes something special to garner such praise, truly, and today’s review is a real reflection of that. Today we’re going to be talking about METALLICA. 

Now, love them or hate them for whatever reasons y’all elitist metal heads have (Personally bar a couple of tracks, I’m not a massive fan of Metallica, or their style of metal in general but that’s just me) you can’t deny the impact they’ve had on heavy music since day one. Their early discography helped lay the foundations for the evolution of metal into thrash and beyond, churning out some of the most important releases of the whole genre...until in 1991, when they released arguably THE most important; “The Black Album”. 

Many OG fans felt like it was a bit of a departure from their raw origins, incorporating softer melodies and more clean vocals (James Hetfield has gone on record to say on this album he finally became a singer) and that while still Metallica, and as strong of an album it technically was, they had sold out. Sounds absurd right? “The Black Album”, already following “...And Justice For All” simply cemented them as THE biggest metal band on the planet, and in terms of the history of metal, it’s one of the foremost standard bearers. In 2021...that still holds true. 

Thirty years after its release, it’s still talked about and revered for its influence and importance, and to celebrate the albums anniversary, Metallica have decided to cherry pick a plethora of artists from all walks of life, to highlight just how influential the album has been. The artists got to pick a song of their choosing from “The Black Album” and record a cover, for what is now known, as “The Blacklist”. SIXTY-SIX versions of the songs you all know and love...in one compilation. Let’s dive into this, black hole if you will, and highlight some the more, diverse recordings on offer. 

Luckily for us, the tracks aren’t all thrown together mish mash like the running order was decided by a washing machine spin-cycle, they are categorised by specific tracks, and to start us off, we have 7 renditions of “Enter Sandman”. Let’s be honest as far as heavy metal anthems go, this is up there in the top tier; a rock club floor filler guaranteed for beer fuelled singalongs...so what do we get here? ALESSIA CARA is first up and the “Scars To Your Beautiful” songstress wraps her husky, soulful pop vocals around the track, accompanied by THE WARNING. As a performer she brings a fresh take on the vocals and this is SLICK; a very strong start here. As the track progresses, we get the heavier instrumental factors and it becomes something say, FLORENCE & THE MACHINE would drop on an EP... actually that sounds fantastic somebody make that happen.  

Sticking with “Enter Sandman” we get some interesting variations...we get WEEZER dropping a version that wouldn’t be out of place on their own “The Teal Album” compilation...a pretty straightforward cover, bar a couple of guitar tweaks and a subtle nod to “Buddy Holly”. It’s fine. RINA SAWAYAMA then takes things up a notch with a surging, riff-heavy almost techno-inspired piece of production with bold, assertive vocals, becoming possibly one of the tracks better covers ever. Occultist theatrical rockers GHOST then drop arguably the most creative cover, as they ditch the iconic intro, and delve straight into a piano-led lyrical opening. They have their distinct style, and the holy-tones soon shift into gear as the guitars erupt, and it’s an interesting take on the classic. 

Next up we have “Sad But True” and I have to say, the best version here by far comes courtesy of country artist JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT. The country/rockabilly twist with the twangy guitars gives the Alabama-born artist a unique take on the track and it really works. South Korean outfit YB offer a more up-tempo rock recording, which, while fine audibly, highlights the global reach Metallica have. 
“Holier Than Thou” takes up the third portion of the album and this kicks off with BIFFY CLYRO and to be fair, they produce quite a quirky, synth-based recording but the novelty sadly wears off as boy does this rendition drag out...you took over five minutes to do a track less than four minutes long. Absolutely no need lads. Spoiled it for yourselves. THE CHATS and OFF! Both drop simultaneous punk-rock covers which, while decent in their own right are put too closely together and it depreciates both their values. COREY TAYLOR then showcases why he is one of the most prominent voices in modern metal as he tears through his own hard rocking rendition; quite raw but with it’s own throw-back, thrash-metal vibe going on. 

Back to more ballad-based territory we find ourselves at “The Unforgiven” and CAGE THE ELEPHANT kick us off with an incredibly stripped back, indie/acoustic cover and the hushed, smoky vocals allow for an even more intimate listening experience, which suit the song quite well really. DIET CIG keep the indie aesthetic going but the New York duo bring a brasher recording to the table and it works just as well. Some of the compilations better covers come here however, as we depart far from what you would perceive Metallica to be, courtesy of FLATBUSH ZOMBIES Feat. DJ SCRATCH. We get a proper old-school hip-hop beat laid in front of us with some classic flows layered around the soft melodic vocal chorus from James Hetfield. This works surprisingly well as a mash up to be fair, it’s impressive. This can also be said for HA*ASH, as the Louisiana-based duo deliver a wonderfully relaxed harmonic clean vocal cover with acoustic, Latin-pop aesthetics giving the track some extra flavour.  
It’s safe to assume that, the most popular tracks will get the most covers as they are going to get the most attention, and as good as the aforementioned have been, if you think of “The Black Album”...you think of “Nothing Else Matters”. The ballad that sent Metallica into the mainstream stratosphere, here, gets a whopping 13 renditions...it’s essentially an album worth of tracks within itself! There’s a LOT to get through here so we’ll focus on some highlights...and we have to start with the one that got all of the attention...starring MILEY CYRUS with ELTON JOHN on piano. Originally scoffed at for her “Wrecking Ball” era output, she’s come on leaps and bounds as a vocal performer, having worked alongside everyone from DOLLY PARTON to BILLY IDOL, and credit to her here, she wraps her smoky voice around this superbly. It’s big, it’s bold, it’s confident, it’s passionate and it WORKS. Forget jumping on bandwagons and all that gubbins, you need to appreciate Miley here as a performer, this is a respect earner for even the die-hards.  

On the other end of the scale then, we get a cover I was myself personally looking forward to, courtesy of DEPECHE MODE vocalist DAVE GAHAN. His sombre rendition is practically haunting as he croons his way through the track, taking it to whole new levels of emotional torment, yet while undeniably sad, its equally undeniably beautiful; I love this. On a side note, it’s rare I highlight instrumentals but, German pianist IGOR LEVIT offers up a sincerely sweet solo piano rendition which could quite easily pass for a lullaby. 
The rest of the compilation consists then of, non-single tracks and while not necessarily less-popular, they are lesser known to mainstream audiences...deeper cuts if you will. These, naturally get sparse recognition in comparison, but they aren’t without their talking points. French vocalist IZIA does well with “My Friend Of Misery”, offering a fuzzy, up-beat electronic-tinged rock offering, despite the slightly awkward chorus transition. IMELDA MAY drops by for a quick cover of “The God That Failed” that has quite a deep, bluesy swagger, while TOMI OWO wraps her soft, husky vocals around a delicate version of “Through The Never”. It’s still got guitar presence but it’s got more of an R’n’B flavour. 

Naturally...there are over sixty tracks here, you must be thinking, surely there has to be some absolute crap littered throughout the compilation? I have to say, you would be absolutely correct. JUANES idea of “Enter Sandman” is like, he is first trying to learn THAT riff for the first ever time...it is SO jerky and dissected it detracts from the feeling of the song entirely. ROYAL BLOOD’s cover of “Sad But True” is no more than a straight-up cover with little additional character, which results in a pretty boring listen quite frankly. CHASE & STATUS with BACKROAD GEE drop this god-awful mumble-rap, grime-inspired take on “Wherever I May Roam”...I suggest you roam as far away from this as physically possible, and then defy physics and roam further. This is abysmal. Sadly, another disappointment comes courtesy of THE HU. The Mongolian throat-metal traditionalists deliver a cover of “Through The Never” in, I GUESS their native language, with some native instrumentation. It gives the track some interesting character with fresh sounds, but you lose all of the sing-along qualities here. This might be nit-picking but, it’s lacking in it’s own ways. 

Overall, over the course of this, playlist essentially, there is a noticeably distinct lack of rock and metal, and really that’s probably by design. The artists that have contributed that have kept to these genres, haven’t really brought anything new to the table and those covers in question have been really quite run of the mill...it’s the diversity of artists that Metallica were looking to showcase and they have undeniably delivered on that front. A lot of these vocalists have injected fresh ideas into thirty-year-old classics by utilising their own inspirations, backgrounds, ideas and flavours, creating a genuinely creative cocktail menu with just twelve original songs to work with. Metallica fans might not appreciate this 100%, most still living in their tight stonewashed jeans, patch-laden battle jackets and downing warm cases of beer...a bit like GNAR KILL fans I guess, (James Hetfield is Hell Boy confirmed) but for anyone curious about the legacy of this album, and have nearly six hours to kill, it’s worth a listen...I guess? [7] 
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Cathedral In Flames - "Hang Me High & Bury Me Deep"

9/9/2021

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Ok so... back at the end of 2019, transitioning into January 2020, you may remember I kicked off the new year with a piece of Prague-based modern post-punk, courtesy of a band by the name of CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES. They contacted me about their then new EP “Children Of The Blackest Hole”, asking for a review consideration, and if you recall, I praised their nostalgic, raw take on the genre and nods to icons like FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM. 

Typically, regardless of the review itself (Be it positive or not so much) any band in question tends to say their thankyou’s for listening, for taking my time to write about their record etc, there will be the social media sharing, and that’s that...we move on... not Cathedral In Flames. I have to give them the utmost credit here as, for my time and kind words, they not only shipped me a vinyl copy of the EP, but the collectors coffin case with USB edition EP and commemorative lighter. The lighter even came with a mini cardboard Cathedral to set fire to! (The Cathedral is still in-tact by the way). This was one of the sweetest things they could have done...and I hate it. 

Alright so I don’t hate it, I was genuinely grateful, but now it puts me under a spot of pressure, as we catch up with them having released their debut album; “Hang Me High & Bury Me Deep”. Do I find any excuse under the desert Sun to panegyrize their latest release out of a sense of duty, or even guilt...or do I stay true to myself and take it on the face value like Little Caprice? I can’t believe I just googled “Top Czech Republic Porn Actresses” for the sake of an analogy. Anyway...let’s check it out and hopefully there will be no burying required. 

We open up with “Twilight Of The Goths” which looks to be a little take on Richard Wagner’s “Götterdämmerung”, or, “Twilight Of The Gods”; an Opera from the late 1800’s. The Opera itself was a German translation of the old Norse tale of Ragnarok, and the wars which ended in the cataclysmic destruction of the world. Will the track replicate such fantastical drama? Well it’s dramatic I’ll give you that much...the percussion and guitars here carry ample dark tones, with subtle synths, and the instrumentation takes more of a back seat for the dual vocals on display. Phil Lee Fall still has his well-gravelled tone that channels the likes of Nephilim, but while accompanied by the cleaner, clearer notes of Ambra Von Bernstein, gives this a more, SISTERS OF MERCY inspired flavour. Love us or hate us, we are the Goths, we don’t care. It’s a mission statement and a decent start. 

Next up we have promotional track “Black Train”...which, following on from the prior EP’s “Red Car”, makes we wonder if next time we’ll get a cover of “Yellow Submarine”? I digress. The track is more of the same, gritty, deep rumbling post-punk, utilizing all of the classic tropes of the genre, acting like a bit of a time capsule essentially. The chorus here has a simple yet effective hook, and overall it’s another fine track. Speaking of transportation, we also have “Drinking In The Car” which, listen folks, isn’t specifically drink driving, so I’ll allow it. It’s got a distinctly more, country-inspired, bluesy guitar twang to it, with the backing vocal harmonies creating an incredibly Western vibe. Is the car a saloon? Cars weren’t invented yet my friend...you may have been drinking on your horse. 

“Blame It To The Pain” then harbours a similar vibe to “Black Train” in it’s nostalgic approach and gentle chorus hooks for another album highlight, before we get into the rest of the album. Aside from a further stab at the previous EP’s title track, we get “Dia De Los Muertos” which is, of course, “Day Of The Dead” and put primary focus here on Ambra’s soft vocals for an audible departure in style. There’s more of an elegance to this track and while unexpected here, could be very well capitalized on for future releases. The title track, aka “Desperado” again blends together those early Gothic rock tendencies with semi-Western aesthetics to really hammer home the character of this bands style and sound, but at over 8-minutes long takes longer than a stare-down at high noon...which brings us to “1989”.  
​
Not 
only the year I was born, but the year the film, “High Noon” was put into the first US batch of historically protected movies with cultural relevance...and the name of the worst song on this album. Don’t get me wrong, every Gothic album deserves some sort of piano ballad...on the assumption that, that album has Ville Valo on vocals. Phill here, has such a depressed , sometimes warbled baritone, it invokes near legit sadness in the listener. This is like when JOHNNY CASH performed “Hurt”...or, like, the final moments of IAN CURTIS. Even the most effrontery of emo’s will hold their emaciated limbs up to that and be like “Dude, cheer up”. 

While
 Cathedral In Flames have maintained their core sound and overall style, continuing to pay homage to the grandfathers of Goth as we know it, they’ve not been afraid to dabble a little here and there with different instrumental approaches, and it’s hasn’t fired on all cylinders for them on this occasion. I know I’m mentioning “1989” again, but that should have been given to Ambra. The Goth rock is fine where it’s been presented, but the other bits need some refining. This is really neither hung high or buried deep...more, stuck in the stocks being hit with the occasional gammy cabbage waiting for another chance. [5] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/CATHEDRALINFLAMES
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William Shatner - "The Blues"

6/10/2020

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Music: the final frontier. These are the voyages of GavTheGothicChav. My continuing mission, to explore strange new albums. To seek out new sounds and new genres. To boldly go where no reviewer has gone before! *Strange angelic vocal harmonies surround me while I Naruto-run around HMV* I find myself weirdly drawn to an unfamiliar section of the store...uncharted, if you will, and there it is. What I lay my eyes upon, no amount of Vulcan logic can explain...an album the likes of which, not even the fiercest Klyngon warrior would dare initiate combat...but it is my prime directive. I have to review; “The Blues” by WILLIAM SHATNER. 

Yes, William Shatner is, as you should be well aware, one of the most iconic pop-culture actors and performers to ever grace television and Hollywood. As James T. Kirk, he captained the USS Enterprise as Star Trek travelled beyond cult status, helping create a global sci-fi phenomenon still adored to this day. But while he is primarily remembered for this role, the man’s career spans seven decades, and as well as other film and tv projects, in 2020, at the age of 89...we find him releasing music. It wouldn’t be the first time; he’s released country and spoken word works in the past...but here we find him singing the blues...the question is, is this merely another entry in the captain's log, or just a steaming pile of Shatner? Let’s find out...
 


The album opens up with
“Sweet Home Chicago”, which, for a man born in Montreal is already casting suspicions. Instrumentally it’s fine it has to be said, the general rhythm and guitar tone here is textbook blues; it’s got that very distinct feel and energy and ticks all of the right blues rock boxes for about as cliched a listen as you could get, but vocally...in the words of George Takei...OH MY! Shatner has always been renowned for his off-kilter verbiage...he’s always delivered his lines in an almost disjointed manner while acting...but he does it singing too. It just sounds strange! Perhaps the blues allows for this as, like jazz, you just go where the mood and music takes you, but it still makes for a peculiar listen. 

Let’s be honest here Shatner is no singer and this album was never going to amaze anyone with his vocal prowess, especially at 89, but we’ll sift through some positives.
“Sunshine Of Your Love” and “Born Under A Bad Sign” showcase some of the albums more favourable performances...the guitars on the former allow for a darker, more brooding delivery. Lyrically I guess it’s a sweet love song as the title suggests but somehow Shatner makes it sound anything BUT consensual, which in it’s own ways is as funny as it is creepy. The latter then sounds like it could come straight out of a movie scene in some down-and-out roadhouse, but instead of starring someone cool like Patrick Swayze, it would be like, Rob Schneider or something. 

​CANNED HEAT
classic “Let’s Work Together” gets a showing and again, instrumentally it’s fine but Shatner sounds more like a motivational speaker or, site manager on a tight deadline as opposed to a singer, while his cover of “I Put A Spell On You” is, frankly remarkable. It’s a song that’s been covered multiple times over the years, but, credit to him, Shatner still manages to put a unique spin on it, only reinforced by the accompanying animated video which, I will let you just experience for yourself below. That right there really, I suppose is the best way to summarise this album...it’s not something you can simply listen to, it’s something you really just have to experience. As I said musically and instrumentally, it’s fine, he’s got some quality musicians driving this album, luckily, but vocally he’s got as much talent as a dead Tribble. With that said...the end of the album please Mr. Sulu...warp 9, that’s an order. [1] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/WILLIAMSHATNER
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Before Sunday - "Anticipation"

13/6/2020

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The other day, when I shared my newest “Unlucky Dip” collection, despite my clear favourites, there was one new artist in particular that peaked my interest; I’m just yet to determine if it was for all the right or wrong reasons. Yes you may remember me including a London-based duo by the name of BEFORE SUNDAY, who alongside some selected peers through Angels PR, covered “Square Hammer” by GHOST. Now I like this song a lot and you may recall I regarded the move as nothing short of bold, but the track was covered fairly traditionally without any needless bells and whistles, and credit to them they did it justice. Here is where the curiosity often kills the cat…

Given the band and track they covered, and having known nothing about the band prior to hearing said cover, I had to ask myself, was this a potentially new, up-and-coming alternative goth pop band? Can I look forward to some modern post-punk? Hell I’d settle for some retro dark-pop! In this instance…we sadly do not get any of those things. Yes the duo who make up Before Sunday; Nick Basis and Stella Panteloudi are a straight up pop act that just happen to appreciate a little rock ‘n’ roll influence here and there, and quite frankly I’m feeling catfished. But seeing as we’re here, they released their debut album recently entitled “Anticipation”…let me just tell you that mine has gone through the floor as opposed to the roof.

The album opens up with “Living In London” which to be fair is quite a catchy little piece of social commentary; highlighting the living conditions of living in the British capital, with the general ignorance of society leaving you feel alone in a population of millions…the generally overpriced day-to-day living and the often shitty weather. They paint a pretty bleak picture but I’m sure very many can relate. The track itself is a guitar driven piece of soft rock with ample swagger and a certain vocal drawl that in some ways finds itself between JOAN JETT and MILEY CYRUS…it’s a decent opener. “Big House” then follows up and the direction changes somewhat to say the least. The rockier guitars are replaced with more of a light, soulful funk aesthetic which coupled with the core pop delivery could pass for some, KYLIE MINOGUE or ALPHABEAT.

Even though the album is only ten tracks in length, it still manages to find itself book-ended with the better tracks at the beginning and the end, with the middle sort of just, existing. “Obsessions” for example is a wonderfully heartfelt, sombre piano/synth led pop ballad with a soaring vocal chorus. “Goddess” combines those gentle ballad qualities but brings back the funk-rich guitars and marries them with some innocently sweet vocal notes, before “Devil” rounds the album off on another guitar driven, rockier high note. It’s got a certain surging urgency to its delivery when it’s in full flow and the up-tempo intensity is welcome…they left it late but we actually get some of the slightest hints at more metallic instrumentation here that could be tied in to that Ghost cover.

As I said the middle of the album is generally generic pop music…the vocals on “Unconditional” are well produced and fine, “Gone” gives off Eurovision power ballad vibes and “Closed Doors” adapts more of a random country-pop aesthetic. While there’s nothing necessarily bad here, it’s a fine pop album with some good quality clean production, I can’t get that Ghost cover out of my head and can’t help but be somewhat disappointed by this album, which is a shame because there’s nothing wrong with it for what it is. It’s got its charm and does highlight a variety of genre influences all streamlined into one collection of quirky pop, but I was hoping for something more. I don’t even know what…maybe even like, OF MONSTERS & MEN or a SHINY TOY GUNS or something along those lines, which, sadly these are not. Before Sunday? More like never in a month of Sunday’s. [5]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BEFORESUNDAYBAND
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Yerachmiel - "Off The Derech"

25/4/2020

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Dave Grohl is the most wholesome of rock stars, honestly he’s a good egg, and during these unprecedented times, we can all take a page out of the book of Grohl and channel the track “Times Like These”; we can learn to live again…we can learn to love again. Or (And I can’t stress this enough) not, as this next review goes to show that it’s also times like these where, I in fact regret diving into my email submissions. Honestly, you know the original music video for that very song where they are throwing a pile of shit off that bridge? I’d sooner yeet MYSELF off the bridge than listen to this next record…but I will try and be fair.

I’m all for firsts here…I’ve listened to and reviewed plenty of different genres in the past, everything from blackened death metal to K-pop…but never have I ever come across an album classified as ‘Jewish folk-pop’…until now. YERACHMIEL who was originally based in New York, recently moved to Israel where he has fully immersed himself in the culture and traditions of his religion and heritage, and he uses these influences and inspirations to fuel quite the prolific musical career it would seem! “Off The Derech” is his 6th studio album; a collection of 21 original songs which he’s asked me to check out. Truth be told I’d rather bath with my nan, but out of respect and I guess curiosity…let’s give this a whirl.

The album opens up with “Great To Be Alive” and having been on lock-down for five weeks now, this sentiment is already testing my patience. The track itself is admittedly a pleasant little dose of melodic soft-rock; the loose guitar play and light piano combine well to give off a certain late 80’s / early 90’s feel…you could maybe bracket it alongside the likes of JIMI JAMISON for example, but the levels of positivity here are borderline sickly. This positive energy is also incredibly abundant in the track “Temple”. It’s starts off as if it’s the intro theme to some cheesy 1970’s family sitcom, but it oozes its loving message of faith and togetherness to point where you feel like you’re watching Songs Of Praise trying to be edgy. I have my fingers on MY temples…and I require co-codamol.

One thing I will say for Yerachmiel mind is that he isn’t afraid to dabble in crossover genres…I mean the last thing you’ expect to find in an Israeli recording studio is reggaeton or ska, but that’s exactly what you find on “7th Wonder” and “Your Name Be Praise”.  The former is as though BOB MARLEY got so fucking high one day he woke up in the middle east, with its brass-based low-fi instrumentation, while the latter houses more of a subtle, indie-based core sound akin to say, UB40. It’s honestly an interesting mash-up I’ll give it that. True highlights however are sadly minimal and frankly hard to point out…”Earth Is Trembling” does have a solid, up-tempo, oompah rhythm which is both fun and energetic, despite it's damning opinion of mankind. “Tears In A Falling Rain” combines a soulful, funk aesthetic with the more traditionalist middle eastern percussion, while the string instrumentation on “Stay True” borders on country bluegrass.

It’s a confused album quite frankly, and over the course of the twenty one tracks here it’s as though he’s thrown whatever he could at the wall just to see what stuck, and to be honest  I don’t think he cared if something stuck or not. There is a lot going on here and we can all really respectfully say that, this track listing can do with a bit of a cull. I’m not suggesting we go all Nazi and wipe the album out entirely, that would be in poor taste even for me…but the album doesn’t need to be THIS long, especially with so many of the tracks already suffering from repetition. Off The Derech? I must be off my rocker to have believed I might enjoy this one, this really isn’t my cup of Wissotzky. [2]

PURCHASE / STREAM "OFF THE DERECH" HERE
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GTGC 2019: A Year In Review

30/12/2019

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2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 EP's Of 2019

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 Pop Albums Of 2019

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

GavTheGothicChav; Top 20 Metal Albums Of 2019

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

GavTheGothicChav: The Best Of 2019

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5
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Bruce Springsteen - "Western Stars"

18/7/2019

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IT’S BOSS TIME!!!!! No, don’t worry, my name isn’t Michael Cole and I’m not about to run commentary on WWE’s Sasha Banks (Though in hindsight that may have been a little more entertaining to be honest)…but we are of course going to be focusing our attention on the boss himself; Mr BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. The man needs little to no introduction; one of the most successful recording artists of all time, Springsteen’s career spans decades and he has the hits and accolades to show for it. EVERYONE knows classics such as 1975’s “Born To Run”, even up to his critically acclaimed track “The Wrestler” in 2009, but now, ten years later in 2019, at the sprightly age of 69 we find The Boss still churning out records…

Not taking into account his plethora of live recordings and EP’s, Springsteen recently released his nineteenth studio album entitled “Western Stars”. A return to his solo recording style, firmly based around story-telling with orchestral arrangements, and in this instance, inspired by 70’s Californian pop music. With a rich range of themes based on American tropes such as lonely highways, and the feelings of isolation travelling vast desert spaces through the US, let’s check it out and see if this bona fide western star can still shine so far into his career...

​We open up with “Hitch Hikin’” and let it be said in advance that, the name sums up the journey through this album really quite appropriately; a seemingly endless wait for something to come and pick you up with no real guarantees. With its softly plucked acoustic yet, tinny guitar, it’s got an almost southern blue-grass aesthetic filtering in ever so slightly, before an elegant, sweeping string section gives the track more instrumental depth. Everything is soothing but here Springsteen’s voice comes across as occasionally monotonous. While a lot of this record is generally stripped back and mellow, there are a couple of points of interest worth highlighting…lead single “Hello Sunshine”  houses a tranquil, almost tropical guitar tone while more delicate strings meander through your ears. Despite its down-tempo approach and low-key vibe it’s still a positive little song and you can’t help but feel relaxed having listened to it.

“Sundown”
despite its livelier tone, incorporating subtle blues elements and a more powerful vocal performance tells a sad tale of solitude and loneliness, spending the nights alone drifting from bar to bar, missing the one he holds dearest in his heart. The real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Sleepy Joe’s Café”…far more up-beat and jovial, it’s anything but sleepy as it utilises an old-school rock ‘n’ roll feel, coupled with organs and a brass accompaniment ; it’s a genuinely fun, light-hearted little track. Sadly, the rest of the album, despite Springsteen’s narrative and penchant for story-telling within his songs, comes across as a tad lifeless for the most part.

“Drive Fast (The Stuntman)”
for example, despite admittedly being composed beautifully, exudes nowhere near the level of energy you’d expect given its name, leaving you somewhat disappointed. You hope for something zestful, something bold and boisterous, yet it’s everything but. “Chasin’ Wild Horses” suffers from the same issues; the title portrays something maybe a touch chaotic, but honestly he couldn’t catch a bloody cold here let alone a wild horse, before luckily, we eventually finish up at “Moonlight Motel”. Given the general pacing of the album overall, it’s both fitting from the point of the albums narrative, and ironic as having listened to the album from start to finish, you could do with putting your head down for a couple of hours. Springsteen can obviously still weave wonderful stories and concepts into his song writing, and musically there’s nothing really wrong with these tracks at all, the orchestral elements especially sound lovely, but it’s a very restrained record that struggles to warrant many repeat listens. If you prefer your music to be more easy-listening then sure you may enjoy this a lot more, but on this occasion it would appear that the boss has taken some annual leave…[4]

WWW.BRUCESPRINGSTEEN.NET
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Hawthorn Avenue - "Wildfire" EP

18/6/2019

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“I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do…and for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'” – Bob Newhart. All jokes aside, country music isn’t something we hear a lot of in the UK, and by a lot of I mean, virtually any; it’s just not a thing. We’ve got plenty of talented singer/songwriters, but country music to us is a very American thing…a very, cowboy hat wearing, moonshine drinking, horse-riding, rootin’ tootin’ arguably inbred (If you’re down South at least) American thing.

That’s not to say that it’s all bad however, no sirree, as I’m sure everyone can agree that the likes of JOHNNY CASH and TAMMY WYNETTE are iconic performers, and they, like so many others helped take country music off of the front porch into packed out concert halls across the states. Although, while the UK doesn’t have a flourishing country scene, we do have artists that take influence from the genre and that leads us into today’s review; let me introduce you to HAWTHORN AVENUE.

The duo from Neath (Consisting of Marcus Gumms and Laura Benjamin) initially met in 2015 while both playing the South Wales live circuit and immediately gravitated toward each other creatively, starting out at jam nights where they found their feet in terms of collaborating. Laura, a multi-instrumentalist grew up loving music from a young age and looks up to the likes of TAYLOR SWIFT and CARRIE UNDERWOOD, while Marcus admits he just saw some guy on Stars In Their Eyes doing Johnny Cash and thought to himself ‘That’s what I’m going to do’…and he did! The duo have recently released their debut EP entitled “Wildfire” and have asked me to check it out…I guess it’s time to saddle up…

The EP opens up with “Raised Me Better” and it combines subtle organ notes with soft country blues and a crisp pop aesthetic…with its vocal harmonies, powerful key-changes yet an easy-listening approach, it delivers a wonderfully smooth, simplistic country-pop number. Hick-pop if you will. The songs message of restraint and composure allows for a positive outlook and sets a good example; be the better person, and it’s really quite lovely; a good start this. “Fade Away” strips things right back to a gently plucked acoustic-driven piece with subtle nods to a Native American woodwind influence. It’s a hushed, mellow little track with an emotive delivery, though picks up ever so slightly over time, incorporating more electric guitar and growing in volume and intensity, yet manages to stay restrained.

“The Water’s Edge”
follows in the same vein with another sombre country ballad; with its sweet, delicate acoustics and silky vocal harmonies…it’s a quaint little track but out of the four presented here, it’s arguably the weakest of the bunch, though you can appreciate its tenderness. We do however finish on a strong note and the EP’s title track is a clear EP highlight in every sense of the term. “Wildfire” returns to a more up-beat presentation blending their love of country stylistics with a more modern indie-pop tone and the resulting track is full of sass, swagger and rhythm. The tinny guitar, dual vocal harmonies and a fantastically hook-laden, melodic chorus means this song is impossible to not enjoy, and it bookends this EP perfectly. Country may not be all too lucrative within the UK market, but here Hawthorn Avenue prove that you can utilise that distinct country style to great effect when blended in with a more modern, pop-oriented sound. After listening to this, I really hope this wildfire spreads…god that sounds terrible doesn’t it…[8]

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APPLY GAVIN10 TO GET 10% OFF YOUR TICKET HERE
WWW.HAWTHORN-AVENUE.COM
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SixStringNoise - "Relics"

13/5/2019

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When it comes to Greece, aside from being an immensely popular Mediterranean tourist destination, little is known about the countries musical culture from an alternative perspective. Sure in the past I’ve covered artists such as SADDOLLS, who fly the flag for gothic rock equally wonderfully and woefully, and more recently, black metal artists such as ROTTING CHRIST, but, who else could you associate alternative music to Greece with?  GUS G is arguably the biggest name given his catalogue of work and collaborations…VANGELIS? He IS a celebrated and critically acclaimed composer and progressive electronic artist, but he doesn’t REALLY count…what about Meteora? LINKIN PARK named an album after the place? OK, fine I’m clutching at straws! It’s safe to say that, unless you really dig, Greece isn’t a country renowned for its rock and metal…but that’s where today’s band comes in.

Yes today we’re going to be talking about a ‘band’ by the name of SIXSTRINGNOISE, who got in touch with me not too long ago via email, so before I get into things I’d like to say Σας ευχαριστώ που έρθετε σε επαφή! Formed in 2010 by founding (And currently sole member) Markos 6SN, it didn’t take long after his digital debut “Snowing Bullets While Kissing The Ground” for him to want to hit the stage and perform live, recruiting Alex D and Alex B (Drummer and bassist respectively) in 2011. With a penchant for hard rock and metal, they toured up and down Greece, establishing themselves as hot local talent in the Athens area, but after a couple of releases, we find them back down to just Markos as he releases album number four in 2019. The question is, just how noisy can one guitarist be? Let’s find out as we listen to “Relics”…

The album opens up with “How’s The World From Up There?” and we’re immediately met with some simple yet melodic riffs, before switching in some subtle prog-rock elements as it transitions through certain rhythmic variations. The chorus here is bold and soaring, with further key changes giving off an almost power-ballad vibe amidst the hard rock, but vocally at times it sounds more like a demo-quality recording which brings the track down a touch. Instrumentally fine, there’s some solid guitar work here but the vocals could probably be mixed and produced a little better…although it’s a decent opener regardless. “True Colours” keeps the riffs coming hard and heavy with a more metal inspired influence shining through musically; guitar solo included. In ways this pays ample homage to bands like ALTER BRIDGE in its delivery and overall sound; you can easily hear the likes of Myles Kennedy in this track inspirationally and again it’s a decent listen.

It isn’t all about the balls-out rock and roll with Markos mind you, as he’s able to mix things up here and there for a more diverse listening experience…”Underdog” in particular has a wonderfully relaxed country-rock vibe. He still incorporates some impassioned electric guitar but overall it’s a welcome change of pace. “The Old You” goes one step further by stripping back completely to an acoustic ballad and it’s really quite the emotive little track, and an album highlight to boot. The soft croon of the vocals here sounding better and it’s a proper lighters in the air track this, lovely stuff. Further highlights include “None Of Your Business” which while once more picking up the pace and aggression delivers all of the hooks and makes for a catchy hard rock number, with it's simple yet effective chorus. Sometimes all it takes is a great chorus and you’re invested; this is one of those times. Ignore the rest of the track, just, enjoy this chorus.

There are a couple of lesser moments, naturally, and mainly we find them mid-album. “Crack A Smile” houses more of that prog-inspired instrumentation and structure with a touch of fret-wankery thrown in for good measure, while “What’s Wrong With You?” has quite a repetitive chorus and poor gang vocals, honestly they sound like pub-level  karaoke at times…to answer your question Markos, what the fuck is wrong with me? Well right now I’m listening to this song…that’s what. We finish up then on the title track and it’s intro instantly reminds me of A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS but sadly there’s no synth-pop to be found in this instance…instead we’re given a dramatic, metal inspired track with deep riffs and a methodical, militant tempo, almost combining those Alter Bridge influences with a slight middle eastern flavour. It’s not a bad track but it is a slow burner, ending the album on a slightly damp note. It’s safe to say that, SixStringNoise can’t be done for false advertising…Markos plays the guitar, and he makes some noise…which is all well and good, but is the noise worth listening to? Sure there are some genuinely interesting moments dotted throughout these ten tracks and there is definitely promise and potential, but sadly at times the vocal production side of things let’s this album down. That’s not to dismiss this entirely though…I honestly hope Markos continues to make all of the noise and helps encourage an alternative music scene in and around Athens. We could market a new wave of Greek rock…we could call it; Grock…I’m a fucking genius. [6]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/6SNOISE
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The King's Parade - "Mad" EP

11/4/2019

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If there’s one thing that can help you invest interest in something, whether it’s to do with a movie, or a character, or in this case a band; it’s an interesting back story...and few back stories are as intriguing as the formation of THE KING’S PARADE. If you cast your mind back to 2017 you may remember I’ve already covered the English 4-piece (Still consisting of Olly Corpe, Sam Rooney, Tom English and Chris Brent) when they released their “Haze” EP, where I discovered they’d actually formed on a cruise ship around Hawaii…

Yep…no cheap rented rehearsal rooms or jam sessions in your mates garage for this lot, they used to play shows aboard the ship as a means of practicing and tightening as a band, honing their craft as they travelled; not technically on the road per se but it’s one way I guess to get that vital stage experience, and it’s far more glamorous than playing to 3 people down the local pub! The EP itself (While not their debut) was a fine sample of soulful indie pop and could have easily tapped into the buzz around RAG ‘N’ BONE MAN’s success at the time…so let’s see what they’ve done in the time that’s passed.

As it happens, they’ve released not one, but two EP’s since we last caught up with them; last years “Woman” EP and now new to 2019 they’ve released another by the simple title of “Mad”, so they’re seemingly going for the little and often approach. The question is though, how mad are we talking exactly? Where is the context? Let’s find out as we get the EP underway with the title track. It’s got a quite stripped back vibe with initially minimal instrumentation and smooth vocals, combining low-fi indie with a shoe-gaze aesthetic and it’s incredibly mellow. The chorus does have a bit more oomph behind it as the guitars get bigger and bolder and the vocals become much more impassioned; it’s a decent start.

The EP continues then with “Mistakes” and again here we’re given a mellow, minimal piece of music with emotive vocals carrying the song…a reflective little track about life lessons in love, and learning from the inevitable mistakes we will all make at some point or another; quaint but not much different from the opener really. “20” again takes a similar approach but at least incorporates subtle country-guitar in the tracks climax, and although that’s hardly a drastic departure from their usual style, it’s enough to make a noticeable difference to the listening experience. We then finish up on the closing track “Good Excuse” and it’s a good excuse as any for me to admit that my interest has sadly waned by this point. Another slow, minimalistic soft indie-pop piece with tenuous soulful elements layered within.

The disappointing thing here isn’t really about this EP to be quite frank; it’s about the band themselves…in the couple of years that have passed since, despite still managing to write lovely, twee little songs with butter-wouldn’t-melt melodies, they’ve seemingly made little progress if not gone a bit backwards. Their earlier material was at least a bit more enthusiastic and the soulful elements of their writing was just that; soulful…I’m not saying that they went all-out gospel and could raise the roof, (They ain’t no ‘Sister Act’) but their sound at least had more energy. It’s that very energy that draws you in as a listener; both motivating and uplifting…here we get none of that.

Despite this though the bands core sound and writing style has remained more or less the same, and over the course of a couple of EP’s, they’ve essentially released one album spread across three years. Despite the tonal differences between these and previous tracks, if shuffled together they could all easily make up one cohesive record and no one would really guess it was a compilation…a bit like ED SHEERAN’s music in some aspects. This EP may very well be “Mad”, but this reviewer on the other however is just sad. [3]
​

WWW.THEKINGSPARADE.COM
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Benny Bassett - "Words For Yesterday" EP

24/3/2019

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Joe Strummer once famously sang that he'd fought the law, and the law won…well as it happens, today’s artist ALSO fought the law, quite regularly in fact, but decided enough was enough and ditched the court rooms in favour of clubs and venues. Let me introduce you to BENNY BASSETT; based in Chicago, Benny was in fact a lawyer for several years, before he decided to pack up his briefcase, cried objection at his own life, and set out on the road to become a musician. A bold move if ever there was one, as if there’s anything more cut throat than the judicial system, it’s the music industry, alas, Benny was not put off and over the past three years he’s spent his time travelling thousands of miles up and down America, playing over 450+ shows, adding new chapters to his life story. This April, Benny releases his brand new EP entitled “Words For Yesterday”…a reflective collection of songs to summarise his life to date. He emailed me recently and asked me to check it out, so let’s do just that.

​The EP opens up with “Window To Forever” and for the most part it’s a sombre, calming indie-pop ballad. An acoustic-led track, it’s charming as it speaks of an uncertainty; not knowing what the future holds but reminding you that, you need to take the chance sometimes. Mistakes can be made for sure, but you need to grow and take risks. The chorus is more up-tempo but the track overall is soothing and it’s a pleasant little track. “Live Where You Love The Sky” follows up and it’s another soft ballad but carries with it more of a subtle country tone. A song of optimism and following his own self-reflective journey; it encourages you to appreciate life for everything it is and do what makes you happy, embrace the selflessness of contentment and be grateful for all you have, so long as you follow your heart.  A philosophical piece as Benny really does practice what he preaches, with the song coming off as very autobiographical, but the hope and belief in his words is enthusing.

Benny isn’t a complete softie however, as proven on “Down Below”…swapping the acoustics for a grittier dose of harder, blues-based rock, there’s a sharper edge here musically but it’s still got a rich vocal harmony and a solid groove. It’s a welcome change as it provides a clear EP highlight, allowing for more swagger and attitude and no doubt this is a stand-out track in his live shows, entertaining stuff this. “Find A Way” switches things up immediately with a bassy, funk-driven piece with retro organs / synths layered throughout the track and it’s quite soulful in its own right, with a brief though enjoyable solo to boot, before the closing tracks sort of taper off with sadly less interest. “Building A Future” is arguably the EP’s weakest offering…the wood-block style synths carry another sickly sweet indie-pop piece but it does descend into a sense of repetition over the chorus, before “From You” closes the EP with another hushed piano ballad.

Overall Benny has proven himself to be a decent song-writer as his lyrical delivery carries you along the EP pretty effortlessly…the melodies flow well and he conveys his story with a softness that absorbs you into each song, resulting in a generally easy, laid back listen. A solid collection of pop songs overall though truth be told a couple more tracks like “Down Below” in future wouldn’t go amiss, sometimes you just need something to move to, but really speaking it’s a fine EP indeed. He’s still brave for quitting his day job to do this, especially such a well-paid and stable one, but he has both a commitment and an ability to make this work, and his debut album should be an interesting listen. Words for yesterday maybe…but more importantly; words to watch out for tomorrow... [6]

WWW.BENNYBASSETT.COM
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Ville Valo & Agents - "V & A"

21/2/2019

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Finnish music it would seem, is undergoing a little bit of a renaissance…just last year we saw the revival (And what a revival it was too!) of original 80’s Goth-rockers MUSTA PARAATI thanks to Jyrki Linannkivi of THE 69 EYES, who helped them rock ‘n’ roll-back the years to deliver some sorely missed traditional post-punk, but this year we’re going back even further. Back in the late 70’s a group of musicians who would be simply known as the AGENTS began their highly collaborative career, acting as a backing band for several successful Finnish artists, and though while consistent throughout this time, having released a plethora of recorded LP’s, they’ve never really had the spotlight on them outside of their home country…until now.

VILLE VALO
needs no introduction; the former HIM front-man is one of the most iconic performers in modern alternative music and since HIM disbanded, I guess you could say he’s been a…free agent? Cue the collaboration! But it wouldn’t be the first time, oh no…HIM fans will be aware that back in the late 90’s before the love-metal maestro’s hit the big time, Valo had already performed with Agents a handful of times on Finnish TV…but now, twenty years later, we find them together again as Valo’s career comes full circle as they release their self-titled album “Ville Valo & Agents”. To paraphrase CHER…do you believe in life after love metal? Let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Kirstinkulma” and what we have really is an elongated intro track; purely instrumental here, it showcases the bands original style and tone with the stripped-back surf rock and blues-pop influences…with a subtle ROY ORBISON inspired sound in places. It’s very easy-listening and really quite sweet sonically. The first track proper then is the first of a couple of revisited tracks for Valo by the name of “Ikkunaprinsessa”, which essentially means ‘The princess in the window’. Not to be mistaken with anything you might find in the window of his dad’s Helsinki sex shop, it’s a romantic little tale about someone who sets their eyes on a model in a shop window and falls in love. A simple story but it’s got such a jovial tone to it, with Valo here sounding smooth as ever. Singing in his native tongue, he makes Finnish as much an art from as a language. “Paratiisi” is another which means ‘Paradise’ and it’s got soft, Mediterranean elements to the guitar here and both tracks sound vibrant; the fresh recording quality has done them justice.

It’s worth pointing out here that the bulk of this record comes in the form of re-recordings, with Valo putting his spin on tracks originally performed when the Agents were collaborating with RAULI SOMERJOKI, a Finnish songwriter who passed away in 1987, with “Kuihtuu Kesäinen Maa” being a great tribute for example. An incredibly mellow track, Valo allows his dulcet tones to weave their way around the song, bordering on the point of becoming a lullaby was it not for the instrumentation. There’s a sense of clarity to him that he was lacking on the last HIM record and he seems audibly more relaxed, healthier even. There are two English language tracks presented by the way of “Rockin’ With Enzio” and “I Told You So”…neither of which have Valo on vocals. The former houses a subtle 70’s glam-rock tone musically, which may appeal to fans of say, T-REX, while the latter harbours a more country-based blues aesthetic; both of which equally refreshing on the ears from a musical and linguistic point.

To be quite frank, this is more of a project than a new band or, real fresh start for Valo post-HIM…a little like his solo single “Olet Mun Kaikuluotain”, he just fancied a change. The songs have been rerecorded and produced well, and Valo’s hushed vocal harmonies are tailor made for Agents musical style, they complement each other wonderfully.  If any HIM fans were hoping for something more like the guys have done in FLAT EARTH then they’ll be disappointed, the whole idea was for Valo to step AWAY from the noise and the heaviness that came with being in HIM; he’s exploring new avenues creatively and allowing himself the freedom to do so. Sure the Finnish itself might put some people off too, but it really isn’t aimed at the same demographic of Heartagram enthusiasts he’s been used to for the past twenty five years. If you’re a fan of Valo’s then naturally you’re going to check this out, long-time fans will already be familiar with his history with the Agents, but don’t go into this expecting his trademark baritone, soaring vocals and wailing guitar solos…you will be massively let down. [6]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM.VILLEVALOVIRALLINEN
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My Wreckord Collection: Mike Cummings

19/1/2019

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PictureMike Cummings: Solitary Man
'My Wreckord Collection' is becoming an interesting little feature...we've gone from an underground death metal masterclass, to lashings of thrash and now...in our third installment, we're going for something totally different yet again. Today we're going to be putting the spotlight on Mike Cummings of West Chester Pennsylvania stoner rockers BACKWOODS PAYBACK, who last year released their newest album "Future Slum", to find out what it is about NEIL YOUNG he loves so much...

“I sat down to write a bit about my record collection but, it seemed a bit overwhelming at the time. So many records, so many artists, so many genres; so many formats! I decided to hone in on the one artist that may have influenced me the most and that, would be NEIL YOUNG. I was turned onto “Harvest” before I was 10 years old; it was one of my mom’s favourite records and in constant rotation at the house growing up. Something about the fragility of his voice made me stop whatever I was doing whenever it came across the speakers. Then getting older and understanding the words he was singing, I realized just how powerful that soft voice actually was. As I got older and started digging through crates for my own record collection I was blown away by the sheer VOLUME of records Neil Young had (And continues to) put out. A folk record, a psych record, a “punk” record, a noise record, a synth record…he never stops! And when you think you caught up to him, he is already onto the next sound. It’s inspiring, it’s refreshing, and at times it’s FRUSTRATING (Which is a good thing in my opinion!).”

“I have managed to find just about his entire catalogue on vinyl through the years. Some get listened to more than others…some have only been spun once. Some (The ditch trilogy of “Time Fades Away”, “On The Beach” and “Tonight’s The Night”) get played weekly at the house. These records shaped who I am. They make me feel strong, they make me feel small. They guide me through tough times and they sing with me in happier ones. I am not sure who or even what I would be, had I not heard THAT voice all those years ago, coming through my mom’s little turntable stereo in the living room…”

ps…

“When it comes to embarrassing records, I don’t think I have one. Sure there’s a TON of stuff I dig on that a LOT of people think is goofy (IE: SUGAR RAY  - “Lemonade and Brownies”!) but I am not ashamed of any of them. I think they make us who we are. EMBRACE THE AWKWARD!”

WWW.BACKWOODSPAYBACK.BANDCAMP.COM
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Scratch - "Scratch" EP

24/10/2018

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Beige; such a vibrant colour…it’s got so much depth and character, it’s such an interesting and thought-provoking colour…said absolutely NO ONE ever. Beige is usually only found in the unused dust covered section of the B&Q paint chart, or in the mug-shots of Burberry-clad young offenders, but more often than not it’s used descriptively as a negative, aimed at only the blandest, most unexciting things you can think of…and this is where today’s band comes in; let me introduce you to a band called SCRATCH.

Yep, that’s right, Scratch…just Scratch, what an utterly unimaginative name…people mock HIM but at least that’s representative of the occult, but Scratch? I mean, scratch what? My arse? I dread to think of the names you thought WEREN’T good enough! Anyway we’ve only just scratched the surface…see what I did there? THAT’S ABOUT AS GOOD A USE FOR YOUR NAME AS ANY! PUNS! I digress…the band consists of members Ruzbeh Irani and Avinash Lalwani, (Ruz and Avi for short) and not only are they band mates, but childhood friends, yet what DOES make things interesting, is the fact they live thousands of miles apart, in New York and Perth, Australia respectively! This however, is literally all the info we’re given…you may think they were keeping the initial email brief, but no! I’ve checked their Facebook profile AND their actual website and that’s ALL the information! Even their bio is beige! It’s like they aren’t even trying! I’m losing interest already, but, it IS their debut EP so I’ll put it down to inexperience…what’s the EP called…”Scratch”…it’s self-titled…DAMNIT ARE YOU THAT PROUD OF THAT NAME!?!?! Let’s check it out before I burst a blood vessel…

We open up with “Soak” (I'm surprised it wasn't "Sniff") and initially it’s as though we’re heading into country blues-rock territory, but it quickly erupts with a grandiose post-rock dose of tinny guitar and percussion…the vocals are interesting in the sense that, while initially weak, they are belted out in the chorus, giving the track multiple personalities. The pitch of the backing vocals in places however is excruciating, and over its five minutes it crams in a fair amount of style, simultaneously sounding like it’s lost somewhere between U2, RADIOHEAD the PSYCHEDELIC FURS, there’s a very alternative 90’s vibe to this. “Newer Things” follows up and continues the soft vocal delivery over some light indie tones, before again cranking it up for the chorus, allowing for more vigour and general energy from the instrumentation with a slightly more distorted guitar sound, it’s quite 50/50 really.

Next up we have “I Don’t Mind” and they’re happy to point out that it’s the first song they wrote as a band and that it’s one of their favourites…carrying forward the initial soft country blues tone to the guitar, coupled with the mellow vocals, it’s got that saloon vibe to it…you can picture the montage right now; the lone outlaw slowly strolling into town at dawn, drinking liquor and smoking cigars…the subtle attitude of the electric guitar creating an aura of suspense and this is easily the best track on the EP right here, before we finish up on “The Key”.  A slow, methodical and utterly lifeless track that just drones on pointlessly with a repetitive riff and a grating, brassy guitar tone, seriously it’s so drowsy…that is until the intense almost punk-rock flurry of the chorus, but sadly these elements don’t complement each other, oh no, this song just feels broken…descending into a barrage of noise at the tracks climax. Was the key in question referring to the intake of cocaine? Because this song literally sounds like they did a studio take of before and after sniffing…ultimately Scratch sound like a band with a multitude of influences, but they’ve yet to settle on an idea as to what they want their sound to be…this sounds very trial and error. Truthfully they’d make a genuinely decent shoegaze based, blues country outfit should they keep things mellow and melodic, but the jarring rock instrumentation and rough vocals don’t benefit them at all. I guess you could say that, they should…start from scratch, which reminds me…FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKS SAKE CHANGE YOUR NAME! [3]

WWW.SCRATCHUNIVERSE.COM
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Elias - "Walk With Elias" EP

10/9/2018

1 Comment

 
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In the past I’ve touched upon how some professional wrestlers or, WWE Superstars, embark on musical careers outside of the squared circle; we can all agree that Chris Jericho is doing remarkably well with FOZZY (In all fairness Chris Jericho does remarkably well at everything he’s the motherfucking GOAT), while Jeff Hardy prefers the underground artistic freedom of expression with his band PEROXWHY?GEN (The presentation of that word still makes me feel like I’ve been driven through a Spanish announce table). However it’s rare when you can say that the WWE have fully invested in a character within kayfabe, to the point that they personally back a musical project to further strengthen a gimmick on screen. John Cena was given this treatment when he dropped his hip-hop album “You Can’t See Me” back in 2005 but, he was THE man, he was the one getting the push so it was to be expected…so it speaks volumes for how the company see’s ELIAS in 2018.

Elias (Real name Jeffrey Scuillo) has been part of WWE since joining NXT in 2014 and over the past couple of years has been developing his ‘drifter’ character, slowly but surely moving up to his current position on the Raw roster. More famed for his promo segments than his in-ring accomplishments, he can always be found with his guitar in hand attempting to sing to the crowd in each city visited, often in a degrading manner with a heel persona, before usually being interrupted by other superstars. The trouble is, despite being a heel in theory, his character and dry, sarcastic humour have won over the vast majority of the audience and he’s more often than not cheered, with the crowd fully aware that WWE now stands for ‘Walk With Elias’…in fact, he’s gotten so over, that WWE have backed him to the extent that they’ve allowed him to record a genuine EP, so with that… silence your cellphones, hold your applause and shut your mouths as we “Walk With Elias”…

The EP opens up with the elegantly titled “The Ballad Of Every Town I’ve Ever Been To” and it’s this track that’s essentially the foundation of Elias’ character on screen. A play on old songs such as “I’ve Been Everywhere” by GEOFF MACK made famous by LUCKY STARR, also later JOHNNY CASH, it highlight’s every town he’s had the misfortune of performing in, twisting the style to fit his heelish persona, but retaining the old acoustic, country charm. Rich in both melody and melancholy, all the while mocking each town, it makes for some classic cheap heat; wonderfully delivered. “Elias’ Words” utilises a similar approach with the country-blues inspired feel, really paying homage to the original southern style with his spoken word lyrical delivery, heavy on smarmy self-importance and portraying his character brilliantly.

“Nothing I Can’t Do”
switches things up with a sombre piano ballad showcasing he’s far from a one-trick pony and has more moves than John Cena…lyrically self-aware, he displays a subtle arrogance to further that heel heat as he sings that he wrote this song on a piano, just to show you that he could, because he’s better than you, there is literally nothing he can’t do and with the exception of only tone, it’s a great comedy song, before closing track “Walk With Me” returns to the acoustic, blues style complete with husky drawl and emotive guitar solo channelling the likes of Orbison and Clapton. As far as anticipated releases go it’s safe to say that, this isn’t up there on the list, but for fans of WWE and Elias especially this is a great addition for collectors and also a superb extension of Elias’ character…it’s not ground-breaking musically but it does its job perfectly and credit to Elias’ and WWE especially for making this happen, such is their faith in him with the product. Forget walking with Elias, WWE have taken the gimmick and ran with it and it’s paying off, you just wish he was mocking your town too. [6]

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Calpurnia - "Scout" EP

4/9/2018

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That awkward moment when your girl asks you over for ‘Netflix & Chill’ but the Netflix is so good that the chill doesn’t happen…this, my friends, is what happens when you discover “Stranger Things”. Only two seasons strong, the Netflix original has garnered one of the strongest cult followings in recent TV history with its throwback 80’s tones and quaint sense of pop-culture nostalgia, combining sci-fi and low-key horror with classic teen-flick vibes, all wrapped up in homage to the likes of Stephen King. One of its main strengths is it’s incredible young cast and today we’re going to be focusing on one in particular; Finn Wolfhard. Now still only 15 years old the Canadian has shown some incredibly impressive acting chops not only with his drama and emotional skills in Stranger Things, but also in the remake of the aforementioned Stephen King’s “IT”, where he got to embrace a more comedic role and pulled it off brilliantly.

This isn’t Cinemassacre however and  we’re not here to review movies, but luckily Finn is a young lad of many talents and it’s here I’m going to point you in the direction of a band by the name of CALPURNIA, which he somehow finds the time for between film and TV! Founded in Vancouver just last year by Finn (Who’s on guitar and vocals) plus drummer Malcolm Craig, the band is completed by guitarist / vocalist Ayla Tesler-Mabe and bassist Jack Anderson, and they have already released a debut EP of original content entitled “Scout”. The question is, at their young age, do we find ourselves with another HANSON or heaven forbid, AARON CARTER? Let’s find out…

The EP opens up with a track called “Louie” and to my surprise we’ve got this restrained, stripped back, blues country type piece, but it also utilises a subtle, almost Caribbean tone; rich in its tinny-guitar and lulling ambiance. It’s an unexpectedly mature sound (Unless it’s been inspired by Spongebob) and nowhere near the energetic, colourful indie-pop I was expecting. The rawness of the track is hammered home by Finn’s vocals which here sound their weakest from a production perspective, but it only adds to the tracks character, really embracing the original feel for minimalist bluegrass. “Wasting Time” maintains the overall tone musically but here we have a little more of that energy I expected, embracing more of an early rock ‘n’ roll feel and it’s got a genuinely solid guitar solo to boot; this is much better.

“Greyhound”
is a twee, melodic, up-beat track that’s disguising a certain sadness, as the story finds our character following a break up, travelling to a show alone after buying two tickets, you can feel his disappointment…the accompanying video too has a simple but effective message portraying everyone in life has a different path, but it’s all about the journey in the end as life always tends to work out eventually. Lead single “City Boy” returns to that raw, bluesy tone but has a simple but enjoyable chorus with gang vocals and happy-go-lucky vibe. “Blame” and “Waves” then round off the EP with a quirky, up-tempo indie piece and a more, relaxed, shoegaze inspired track respectively; the latter allowing Ayla to take a more prominent role vocally. Ultimately as I said previously the sound they’ve gone for is far more mature than what could have been expected and I don’t mean that with any sense of detriment…there’s zero sign of any commercial manufacturing here and it shows it’s not just a PR ploy to make Finn even more famous, this is about a BAND, not just Finn and that needs to be highlighted. They’ve written this EP the way THEY wanted it, and while it’s a little rough around the edges, if it’s something they want to stick at, working around Finn’s acting schedule, they have all the genuine potential to be a solid blues rock band; the talent is already there it just needs a little fine tuning. Let’s just hope Finn’s not eaten by a Demogorgon or some shit in Stranger Things season 3, or this project might find itself upside down too. [5]

WWW.CALPURNIATHEBAND.COM
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The Sloths - "Back From The Grave"

24/7/2018

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​I’m going to share something with you right now…I love sloths. I happen to have a weakness for three-toed sloths as I find them absolutely adorable and If I could afford it I’d happily fund their conservation in Costa Rica etc…hell if it was legal in the UK I’d buy one myself and let him hang around my garden, I want a pet sloth somebody make that happen! However, while I aren’t lucky enough to get to cuddle one of these moss-covered fuzzy bastards I can in fact LISTEN to some sloths from the comfort of my own home; let me introduce you to THE SLOTHS. Formed in Los Angeles WAY back in 1964, these pioneering rockers may not have been around for long initially, but their calibre of rock ‘n’ roll has had people digging through the archives and old record collections, subsequently re-discovering The Sloths, embracing all of the nostalgia and classic charm. Very much like the animals their named after, it’s a case of better late than never I guess as slowly they’ve garnered credibility…let’s see if they can cling on over 50 years later with the vinyl re-release of “Back From The Grave”…

We open up with the track “Never Enough Girls” and immediately my mind goes in the direction of sloth ‘rape memes’ but I have to compose myself amidst images of dragons and pudding…a tinny-sounding little track, very much of its time; blues inspired rock ‘n’ roll with a slight proto-punk edge. With influences ranging from THE ROLLING STONES and CHUCK BERRY it’s very easy to see where they’re coming from, but also you can see where bands like THE RAMONES took inspiration from too. “End Of My Rope” follows up and again here we’re given more of that original blues heritage with some rich harmonica licks (Even going as far as a solo) and you can easily picture yourself sipping whiskey at a bar in Tennessee while this plays…so far so good. Speaking of solo’s we’re further treated on the tracks “Lust” which utilises an up-tempo, surfer-rock vibe allowing for a fun little piece, and also “Gotta Get Fired”, which by contrast is a slower, bass-driven, groove-heavy number which takes extra influence from the likes of THE DOORS.

The rest of the album, while subtle in its variety, does mostly retain a consistency and level of quality throughout which truth be told results in an all-around enjoyable listen…”Haunted” is thematically self-explanatory in its pained ballad approach; which somehow bridges a gap between the tenderness of ROY ORBISON and the spooky tones of THE MISFITS…”Before I Die” returns to the bands blues roots but here we’re given a slight, country / rockabilly twist, before the initial album rounds off with their most infamous track “Makin’ Love”, which during its initial release over 50 years ago was deemed too controversial for airplay on many US radio stations but is incredibly tame by today’s standards. If I’m to pick at anything really it’s the main single “One Way Out” which has a primarily spoken-word approach that reminds me of “Monster Mash” for the most part in its structure and delivery but it has a pretty weak chorus sadly. The European release does have a bonus track by the name of “I Survived” but it’s really nothing to rave about, actually the weakest sounding vocal quality on the album, sounding more like a demo than anything. Ultimately, for a band that only had an initial run of 2 years, it’s impressive to see their legacy not only living on but how much excitement a little nostalgia can provide! Granted this may be helped by the fact that original vinyl’s have gone for as much as $6000 online but that’s beside the point…whether they are back from the grave or, being the sloths they are they’ve literally just taken this long to get here, it doesn’t matter, rock ‘n’ roll never truly gets old. Roll on the year 2066 for the new album! [7]

WWW.THESLOTHS.ORG
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Eurovision Song Contest: Portugal 2018 Preview

11/5/2018

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As you all know by now, every year I do a round up in some way shape or form, of the annual EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. Highly regarded in the UK as an absolutely cringe-worthy cheese-fest, it's no surprise we haven't won it for years, and that's without getting into the shows regular politics let alone the utter shambolic level of fuckery we've found ourselves in under the "leadership" of Theresa May and the current Conservative government...well actually no I'll blame Cameron too, the pig-poking prick! Regardless...we enter every year and hope to not come last essentially. The 2018 final will be held on Saturday 12th May and will take place in Lisbon, Portugal, after SALVADOR SOBRAL won the Ukraine 2017 competition...here I'll be taking a quick run down of all 26 qualified acts and giving my own personal individual score / opinion ahead of the live final...in order of live performance; let's begin...

1] UKRAINE: MELOVIN - "Under The Ladder". Aged just 21, opening the Eurovision Song Contest would seem like a daunting task for many, but Melovin (Real name Kostyantyn Mykolayovych Bocharov) is perfectly at home here, as winner of season 6 of Ukraine's version of The X-Factor. The track is an up-beat, rhythmic dance-pop piece which should in all honesty kick things off really well in terms of tempo and entertainment, but on record it isn't the most convincing vocal display in places and I just hope things don't fall flat for him on the night. 3/5

2] SPAIN: AMAIA Y ALFRED - "Tu Cancion". This is a track taken from Amaia Romero's album "Sus Canciones" and is a collaboration with one Alfred Garcia...sung in Spanish, it's one of the songs this year traditionally sung in the native language as used to be part of the rules before they relaxed things, and for all intents and purposes it's a soft piano ballad with elegant string sections...a lovely song in some aspects but luckily one of the boring ones is now out of the way early. 1/5

3] SLOVENIA: LEA SIRK - "Hvala, Ne!"...NE! NE! NE! We are the knight's who say...NE! *Ahem* All jokes aside, Slovenia's answer to MO / KESHA does a decent job of bringing a modern twist to proceedings. Utilizing a blend of hip-hop production and combining electronica with soulful pop, it's got a decent beat to it overall but it never truly takes off, with the chorus sadly coming across as anti-climatic compared to the level of expectancy of the track. 2/5

4] LITHUANIA: IEVA ZASIMAUSKAITE - "When We're Old". Ironically titled by the 24 year old, and despite her youth this isn't her first Euro rodeo! Having enrolled to compete in 2013, 2014, 2016 and 2017, she FINALLY get's her opportunity to represent her country in 2018. It's an honestly lovely song, focusing on Ieva's hushed, whispered vocals over a gentle piano lullaby...it's a slow one, and one that will rely on mood and emotions conveyed on the night, but it's a wonderfully tranquil track and should score well regardless. 2/5

5] AUSTRIA: CESAR SAMPSON - "Nobody But You". Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...having performed as part of backing vocals for two previous Austrian acts, Cesar finally get's his own shot. Arguably one of the first bandwagon jumpers this year, Cesar brings a fully emotive, gospel sound to Portugal with his blend of soulful pop music, hammered home by a strong melodic chorus...if you're a fan of RAG 'N' BONE MAN then expect to be giving Austria your vote this year... 3/5

6] ESTONIA: ELINA NECHAYEVA - "La Forza". The show isn't over until the fat lady sings...well as it happens Elina is far from fat and we're less than a quarter of our way through so buckle up! A classically trained Soprano, Elina brings a touch of class and vocal quality to proceedings this year, with her powerful vocal range and dramatic, operatic elements...if you're a fan of TARJA TURUNEN for example, you may want to send your vote Elina's way! 2/5

7] NORWAY: ALEXANDER RYBAK - "That's How You Write A Song". FEED. ME. MORE! Oh...sorry...wrong Ryback I was thinking about WWE for a second...but no in all seriousness, Alexander is technically a Eurovision veteran; he WON the competition back in 2009 with a track called "Fairytale"...can the young lad with the violin become a two-time winner this weekend? This funk-driven almost 70's inspired combination of tinny guitar and violin has plenty of energy, but will it be Norway or NO WAY!? You be the judge...2/5

8] PORTUGAL: CLAUDIA PASCOAL - "O Jardim". The hometown-hero as such, Claudia represents the hosts this year taking the torch from reigning champion SALVADOR SOBRAL and will be hoping Portugal can pull off an unexpected victory to retain the Eurovision Trophy for a 2nd consecutive year. Another acoustic/piano ballad, it's got quite a slow build and is honestly quite soppy, potentially risking too many similarities to last years winning song itself...they say lightning doesn't strike twice, I guess Saturday we'll find out. 1/5

9] UNITED KINGDOM: SuRie - "Storm". Oh boy...if you could find me a more fitting song for the UK for this competition I will do sexual things for you no questions asked...not only is the song already two years old and theoretically out-dated, lyrically and thematically it pretty much sums up the state of affairs regarding Britain and the EU and the whole Brexit debacle...metaphorically of course. Musically it is a decent pop track and has it's anthemic qualities but despite any positives I can't see us doing well at all this year...3/5

10] SERBIA: SANJA ILIC & BALKANIKA - "Nova Deca". There's always an entry with utilizes traditional middle-eastern tones and this track is that entry...and seriously what a long-ass intro, taking up nearly a third of the song! It's got a generally simple beat and does pick up, leading into an ultimately pleasant, up-tempo track with subtle dance tones, but it could have benefited  having more of this, less of the intro, as it's shot itself in the camel-toe essentially. 1/5

11] GERMANY: MICHAEL SCHULTE - "You Let Me Walk Alone". Another young talent with a background in reality TV; 28 year old Michael found mild success on Germany's version of The Voice in 2012, where he came third overall, before going on to release his debut album. This year we find him contributing yet another piano ballad to this years Eurovision playlist, and as you may have guessed it's another harmonious love-song with an impassioned climatic feel...again, nice but, it may get lost in the shuffle. 2/5

12] ALBANIA: EUGENT BUSHPEPA - "Mall"...I take one look at this guys name and I swear to god all I can think of is a bush-tucker trial...but my mental issues aside, here we have the first of our demographic-pleasing alternative entries. Eugent is a renowned rock performer in his home country and has actually supported the likes of DEEP PURPLE in mainland Europe, so he's got his credentials...but what is he offering here? A mellow, country-esque traditional folk-pop type piece with an acoustic lead and impressive vocals. It sounds good, I just wish I knew what he was saying. 2/5

13] FRANCE: MADAME MONSIEUR - "Mercy". France hardly needs the bad luck of performing 13th...their results have hardly been the most impressive in recent years, but they hope to change that in 2018. The ambient, synth-pop track follows on from recent success stories such as CHRISTINA & THE QUEENS and may go down well, and though there are no direct ties to the LGBT community, the whole MRS/MR approach could appeal to gender neutral's from an activist point of view...unless that's me looking far too deeply into what is essentially an annual song contest...2/5

14] CZECH REPUBLIC: MIKOLAS JOSEF - "Lie To Me". A potential favourite here depending on the right crowd...full of swagger and groove, Mikolas utilizes the southern blues inspired jazz tones of New Orleans to great effect here, rich in funk and passion, he confidently takes this track by the scruff and simply awaits the laudits of the Lisbon crowd. The recorded version does have some swearing in it, so that'll have to be edited during the final or he may find himself getting nil poi via disqualification... 3/5

15] DENMARK: RASMUSSEN - "Higher Ground". A man of many talents; Rasmussen (Real name Jonas) originally performed in a covers band, focusing on the likes of ELTON JOHN and ABBA, before he turned his attention to acting, focusing mainly on stage productions. 2018 see's him return to singing with this entry; a combination of power-pop and traditional, Nordic heritage in subtle tones. Despite the classic key-change sequence, it does lack a little oomph and falls just short of being an awesome entry. 3/5

16] AUSTRALIA: JESSICA MAUBOY - "We Got Love"...Hang on just a second let me just get Moe Sargi...'YO JESSICA MA BOI!" There we go...that's out of the way now...but no seriously Australia in Eurovision is still a thing. Yes it was novel having them there for the big anniversary show a couple of years ago but, despite not being anywhere remotely near Europe, here they are...the song itself is a generic, light, radio-pop song which wouldn't be out of place in some, teen Disney flick...it's fine but, I really don't see the point this year. 2/5

17] FINLAND: SAARA AALTO - "Monsters"...Finland you beautiful bastard of a country...as if you didn't already supply the world with some of the finest gothic metal and rock bands to ever grace the stage, you also have pop music nailed too by the looks! Saara Aalto ticks all the boxes having dueted with ADAM LAMBERT and ANDREA BOCELLI, not to mention having done voice acting for the Finnish dub of "Frozen", she's a proven voice. Here we have a sleek, electronic-pop monster in it's own right rich in hooks and mainstream appeal and it's an absolute top tune. All of the yes from me. 5/5

18] BULGARIA: EQUINOX - "Bones". Bulgaria's entry features yet another reality TV statistic in vocalist Zhana, who won Bulgaria's X-Factor in 2013...now, 5 years later we find them representing their country in Portugal with "Bones"...the haunting vocal tones and the predominantly dark-pop vibes of the song are pleasant enough, helped by its catchy chorus, but it sounds like a watered down version of "Skeletons" by 2017 Azerbaijan entry DIHAJ to me. 2/5

19] MOLDOVA: DoReDoS - "My Lucky Day". Three is the magic number as they say, and for this trio, it's third time lucky as they finally get to represent their country after failing to secure their place in both 2015 and 2016. Doritos as I shall call them from here on in, have a fun and up-beat approach this year combining modern pop with a GOGOL BORDELLO style of Oompa / alternative. 2/5

20] SWEDEN: BENJAMIN INGROSSO - "Dance You Off". One of the youngest performers at this years final in Lisbon, Benjamin started early and appeared in several Swedish musicals as a child and is hoping his performance experience can carry him through to another Swedish victory. With his soft vocals it can be said he's another JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE inspired pop-starlet but truth be told he's not of the same caliber previous Swedish winner MANS ZELMERLOW, he lacks that spark. A harmless pop song but I'm not expecting big things. 1/5

21] HUNGARY: AWS - "Vinszlat Nyar". Ever since LORDI won it for Finland back in 2006 there's almost always a rock song or two thrown into the mix to shake things up a bit and here we have that very token rock song. AWS deliver on all fronts with a strong melody and even stronger riffs for their hard rock performance, even including that cliched key-change and it has to be said it's a solid track...it wont win but it is a banger. 4/5

22] ISRAEL: NETTA - "Toy". While it's one thing to question Australia's inclusion in what is essentially a European competition, it can be said that you have to question Israel too...although politically and economically they are at least tied to the EU so there's that....anyway I digress this is a song contest not BBC Question Time. Netta Barzilai is an outsiders bet if ever there was one! A fun and up-tempo track for the most part, combining western pop influences with middle eastern traditions...it's a decent listen, that is until the random chicken noises...seriously I don't know if it's a gimmick or an affliction. 3/5

23] THE NETHERLANDS: WAYLON - "Outlaw In Em'". Real name Willem Bijkirk, he acquired his stage name after the late Waylon Jennings as means of a tribute and is no stranger to Eurovision. As part of THE COMMON LINNETS he finished runner-up back in 2014 and hopes to go one step further 4 years later. Mixing bluegrass with southern rock swagger, fans of BLACK STONE CHERRY and the like are sure to give him the nod of approval and send a vote his way. 4/5

24] IRELAND: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together". Despite a lack of luck in recent years, Ireland are still the ones to beat as they've won Eurovision a record seven times since its inception, and they hope to add another victory in Portugal this year.Another TV talent show statistic, Ryan O'Whatshisface appeared in Britain's Got Talent back in 2012, reaching the final only to finish in 5th place...will he do better here? Another sweet, acoustic/piano ballad, it doesn't truly stand out as such but he's got enough Irish charm to win the voting public over...perhaps. 2/5

25] CYPRUS: ELENI FOUREIRA - "Fuego". Apparently Eleni here is the bookies favourite and I've been scratching my head to work out how and why...with her typically modern autotune-laden pop qualities I guess she'd make quick and easy money in the charts commercially, given the success of everyone from DEMI LOVATO to DUA LIPA and the like...it's decent enough pop song for what it's worth and catchy enough but, it's nothing special per se...we'll see. 3/5

26] ITALY: ERMAL META E FABRIZIO MORO - "Non Me Avete Fatto Niente"...It takes longer to say that than they'll stay in the top 10 this year if you ask me...it's emotive enough with its almost cinematic qualities in places but songs spoken in native tongue are hit and miss and never a guarantee...it might benefit from being on last in some eyes, but to many it'll be an afterthought as the audience suffers from fatigue and burnout, and it's hardly a climatic showstopper...I can't see this doing overly well. 2/5

So...there we have it...my run down of the 2018 Eurovision final! Have you heard any of the songs yet? Are you happy with your countries entry and more important;y, who will you be voting for? Leave your comments below, but for now...it's over to Graham Norton to entertain us with his commentary.
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Black Stone Cherry - "Family Tree"

23/4/2018

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​Ah Kentucky, I may not be an American patriot but let me just say I damn well salute you, for you not only inebriate the world with your glorious bourbon whiskeys, but you also gave to us nomgasm’s by the literal bucket-load courtesy of your heavenly fried chicken…it’s finger lickin’ good y’all! Putting tonight’s dinner plans aside for a moment, Kentucky also has a rich musical heritage. Famously coined as the bluegrass state, it not only refers to its rich pastures, but also its blue-collar musical roots, notably blue’s based southern rock, gospel and jazz, and one of its biggest exports in recent times has been BLACK STONE CHERRY. Having formed in 2001, they’ve steadily grown into one of the most popular rock acts of a generation, regularly playing arena tours to thousands around the world thanks to tours supporting legends such as LYNYRD SKYNYRD and DEF LEPPARD, plus recently ALTER BRIDGE too…2018 sees them hope to continue their run with album number six; “Family Tree”…let’s do a little digging shall we?

The album kicks off with “Bad Habit” and we’re thrust straight into Cherry’s traditional groovy southern-rock style, there are some decent licks and a strong bass-line pushing the track, but honestly the chorus feels a little weak, and the key-change leading into the guitar solo ends up sounding just a little dull and half-arsed, resulting in a less than exciting start. First single “Burnin’” follows up and again it’s heavy on the groove and it balances being gritty while having ample melodic elements quite well, helped greatly by a much better display from vocalist Chris Robertson, this is considerably better it has to be said.

“Carry Me On Down The Road”
is more or less more of the same, the instrumentation is pretty solid with some enjoyable guitar work throughout but it seems to just coast along leaving you a little uninspired…likewise with “Dancin’ In The Rain”. Featuring renowned session musician Warren Haynes, it’s pretty slick with its rich blues rock tones, especially during the chorus’ main hook and although it supplies the album’s first real highlight it still lacks a certain drive. Speaking of guest appearances, “You Got The Blues” features Chris’ 5-year-old son on backing vocals which I guess is fitting for the album’s title but, other than being quaint it’s another run of the mill offering. “I Need A Woman” continues to plod along with as much urgency as a brand new barrel of bourbon, honestly it’s in no rush, never mind a woman, pro-plus and a line of coke’ he needs, show a bit of energy! The album then closes on the title track and we’re given another strong chorus to end on a slightly more positive, encouraging note, but we’re not here to paper over any cracks sadly. The band went into the studio this time round with minimal rehearsal to capture a raw, honest vibe and in doing so this collection of songs on record at least is lacking a certain sheen. If “Family Tree” had been album number one you could say for sure that seeds have been planted and it’s just a matter of time before these blues rockers blossom, but six albums in, this hasn’t worked all too well. Bar one or two moments it’s a disappointingly boring listen. [4]

WWW.BLACKSTONECHERRY.COM
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Joensuu Riihimäki - "Highwater"

10/4/2018

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As you know I’ve been taking a look at a selection of bands, forwarded to me by the team over at Stencil and it’s resulted in a fair amount of globe-trotting; a cornucopia of cultural cluster-fucks ranging from maritime grunge to prehistoric pop-punk…last time we found ourselves in Australia covering up-and-coming metalcore mob PATIENT SIXTY-SEVEN but now we’re swapping the surfing and sunshine, for snow and uh, Siberian temperatures? Yes we’re off to Finland today, a country famous for its impressive level of Gothic metal bands, but that’s where these guys stick out like a sore thumb; let me introduce you to JOENSUU RIIHIMÄKI. Having formed in Turku, the Americana-inspired outfit comprising of vocalist Sami Joensuu and guitarist Kari Riihimäki (Hence the name, they’ve done a Brangelina) and completed by drummer Moilu Moilanen, released their debut album “Greetings From The Edge Of The World” back in 2015 but now they’re back with a brand new album by the name of “Highwater”. The question is…voivatko suomalaiset todella maata ja länsimaita?

The album opens up with “Hillbilly Falls” and initially you can’t help but think that they’re going all “Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil” on us but while it may well in fact suit the film stylistically, there’s no level of parody here. It’s very stripped back and classical in its approach to old-school retro rock and roll; simple guitar tones, piano accompaniment…in ways it finds itself blending the likes of STATUS QUO with southern blues rock. There’s a certain gruff delivery to Sami’s vocals but in places he can’t help but come across as a tad flat and it’s his vocal tone that holds an otherwise decent track down. “21” follows up immediately and we’re met with a far mellower piece of music; it’s very light with a loose, flowing delivery and really it’s quite quaint, perfect for relaxing in the sunshine on your porch, sat in the swing-chair with a bottle of Miller High Life…you forget they’re Finnish!

Elsewhere “The Ballad Of James John Belcaire” hypnotizes the listener with the sweetest of acoustic campfire ballads…Sami’s husky delivery really works here benefiting the track, which itself has a wonderfully charming, semi-medieval aesthetic, if you can imagine the days of old; of minstrels…backed by some sweet flute work, it lulls you into a sense of total relaxation and it’s a definite album highlight. “I’ve Not Heard?” reverts to the classic blues rock tones heard previously but here incorporating a subtle, 70’s psychedelic influence and you can hear THE DOORS being channeled through your speakers. Some of the tracks fail to inspire mind you; “Keep On Marching” is an incredibly slow, lifeless track…honestly it’s just boring…It’s called the blues but this is just a variety of grey's, sans kinks…“Missing Zoe. B” throws in sound bites from TV news reports and it really doesn’t suit the genre, before closing track “The Garden Road” virtually kills the album with an incredibly annoying piano loop…it’s nearly as bad as the score from “Werewolf Rising” (I’m not even going to go into that) though the passionate guitar driven climax at least tries in vain to salvage the track. Ultimately what we have here is an interesting musical culture clash, at times the Finns deliver an enjoyable, easy-listening album, but it lacks in consistency in terms of quality to warrant many repeat listens. Highwater by name but, it’s just a bit stagnant really. [5]

WWW.JROFFICIAL.FI
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First Aid Kit - "Ruins"

7/2/2018

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Way back in 1985, Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin exploded into the charts creating a burst of pro-feminism with their anthemic duet; “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves”…encouraging women from all walks of life to stand up and be counted, reinforcing their already huge influence as artists. Franklin, the Queen of Soul, one of the most successful R&B artists of all time, and Lennox, one of the most influential pop artists to come out of the 80’s with her group EURYTHMICS…it sent a strong message and opened up the door for so many women in music to feel confident and we’ve never looked back…today we’ll literally be looking at a set of real life sisters who are doing it or themselves by the name of Klara and Johanna Söderberg, but collectively they are known as FIRST AID KIT. Formed in Enskede on the outskirts of Stockholm, Sweden, the duo have a couple of releases under their belts already but 2018 sees them return with their brand new album “Ruins”…let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Rebel Heart” and sadly, they aren’t paying homage to NXT superstar Johnny Gargano (-_•)…for that would be too awesome to be true…but instead we get a rather lengthy introductory track. At over five minutes it’s a little bold, especially given its slow tempo and overly-gradual build; the lulling tone of their country inspired vocals is mellow and harmonious but it does take a while for the track to get going to any real effect. Its climatic semi-flurry is welcome and it rounds track off nicely but it just feels like a stuttering start. “It’s A Shame” then follows up with a far more jovial little number…it’s got a real old school feel with the traditional organ effect coming through the synths giving it that retro 60’s vibe and it’s a charming little track with a deep rooted sadness born of love-loss and unmet expectations, which can also be said for “Postcard”. Channelling icons such as DOLLY PARTON through the classic country and western tone of the tack…it’s the type of track you can imagine being performed at an old road house.

The trouble is that while a lot of this album is, again, charming, the same percentage of the album is frustratingly dull…with their Swedish folk influences there is room for a wonderful collection of ideas and tunes and there are hints of it; “My Wild Sweet Love” is ever so adorable while “Fireworks” delves into a 50’s type, blue’s soaked pop ballad which is full of character, it’s like something you’d find on a “Dreamboats And Petticoats” compilation…but too much of the album fails to ignite a spark of interest…if it was an ice cream flavour it would be Swedish Glace sugar free, dairy free vanilla with a gluten free cone…my point really is that, while it’s perfectly suited for some people, I myself like my ice cream like I like my music…richer and fuller. There’s nothing wrong with them as vocal performers and credit to them they’ve come a long way since their days busking in the Stockholm Metro, but sadly this one doesn’t really inspire a repeat listen. First Aid Kit? Excessive…just give me some Pro Plus I’ll be just fine. [4]

WWW.FIRSTAIDKITBAND.COM
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    Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x

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