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Jackass: A Music Retrospective

24/4/2022

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Hello I’m Gavin Griffiths, and welcome to my blog...certain generations, have their own favoured and, primarily heartfelt, nostalgic pieces of pop-culture that, they fondly look back on, with a happy tear in their eye, and the very fondest of memories. Sure, I was born in 89’ (Age reveal right there) and remember plenty of things like the Power Rangers taking over the world, the original Pokémon taking over the world, the SPICE GIRLS phenomenon taking over the world, Pinky & The Brain WANTING to take over the world, but nothing gripped me more as a young teen and, quite truthfully, prospectless delinquent, than JACKASS. 

When it first hit screens in 2000 on
MTV, I was HOOKED. Sure, it was ridiculous watching Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O et al putting themselves through what they did, and let's be quite honest here, a LOT of us did the same, ignoring those “professional warnings” (I’m not joking when I say that, I should be dead right now, not writing this), but it was that on-screen friendship, that level of banter and comradery, that had us all cringing, crying, and laughing our asses off, often simultaneously.  

While the stunts themselves are memorable, and oh boy there are so many to pick from, we often forget, or, overlook the soundtracks; the songs that remind us of that one particular time we laughed, while someone nearly died. Now in 2022, as the guys
(Along with some fresh cast members) have released the franchises fourth movie instalment; “Jackass Forever”, which is out on Blu-Ray now, and with “Jackass 4.5” hitting Netflix next month, let’s look at the music that enhances the stupidity, and take a deep dive into some of the most memorable musical moments in Jackass history. 

Now, for the sake of this piece not being biblical in length, we’ll be focusing on the movies, but if there’s one song you HAVE to include, it’s “Corona” by MINUTEMEN. Sure, it may have been released back in 1984, with its own intended purposes, and meanings to the early punk-rockers, but when you hear those opening chords, you just picture that skull and crutches logo hitting the black screen, and you just KNOW you are in for a good time. The up-beat, jovial tones of the song enhance the light-hearted tomfoolery of the prank-loving cast, and as a bouncy piece of music, with it’s almost oompah-esque level of frivolity, it’s perfect for the laugh-along nature of the show. It resurrected an entire band and became an anthem for modern day idiots in one swoop. You simply HAVE to smile, when you hear this song come on, it’s an unwritten law. 

​Before we get into some specifics there are some famous stand-out, and reoccurring tracks that we have to applaud, and the first of those, has to be the
“Party Boy” theme. It’s no more, than a simple piece of retro, synth-driven funky dance music, but as SOON as you hear those bass-driven keys pulse through your speakers, you just KNOW, that someone, from somewhere, is going to strip down to a shiny silver thong, and dance crotch-first into your face. Again, the very thought of Chris Pontius getting to do his favourite thing in the world; strip, to dance semi-naked for some unsuspecting victim, will never not be hilarious. I don’t care if you’re a Japanese fortune teller or Sami Zayn at WWE’s WrestleMania...you aren’t safe from Party Boy! 
We can’t NOT mention, ROGER ALAN WADE. Johnny Knoxville’s cousin and blues country icon, he probably IS mostly famous for his contribution to Jackass in wider circles, but his penchant for his heart-on-his-sleeve lyricism, was fine-tuned to perfection on this mellow masterpiece; “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb You Gotta Be Tough”. It carries with it the same light-hearted tone as the title theme, but lyrically it just fits PERFECTLY. It makes light of the absurdity and insanity, and while a relaxed acoustic piece, it only enhances the fun. It’s one of those songs that, like with the intro, simply brings a happy tear to your eye as you know EXACTLY where this comes from, what it represents. Country music is rarely considered anthemic, but in its own right this is the anthem of idiots worldwide. 

​So much so in fact, it’s become sort of, a secondary Jackass anthem, having appeared in all of the movies in some capacity. In
"Jackass Number Two", we had a version by SMUT PEDDLERS, which brought a far more intense, raw, punk-rock tone to the track, which was fitting with the film. While the song went up a level, so did the cast, and so did the stunts, and it was just next level brilliance in its own right. Everyone enjoys a good number two. “Jackass 3D” saw YEAH YEAH YEAHS front-woman KAREN-O wrap her vocals around another fresh cover, which, DID return to a more country/acoustic, almost banjo vibe, as we’d come full circle, and this was almost closure for the team. There was a poignancy to the track, as it was here, that we’d thought we’d seen the last of the Jackass crew on the big screen, or any screen, and it was sweet. This is something that ties us into the next three tracks...bear with me while I get a bit weepy. 
 In terms of closure, few tracks hit home more emotionally than “Memories” by WEEZER, from “Jackass 3D”. Those closing credits ten years ago, with the old-school footage, the apropos lyrical reflection on the cast and crews' memories...despite being a genuinely fun song, it was a beautifully sad song at the very same time. We grew up with the crew, their antics, and it felt like closure, and memories were all we would have of this brilliantly insane decade. Sadly, memories would become TOO meaningful, as Ryan Dunn, one of the most beloved cast members, tragically passed away in a car accident not too long after the third film came out. While the song “Memories” brought happy tears to our eyes, Roger Alan Wade returned to really turn on the water works, with his song “The Light Outlives The Star”, and while not part of the Jackass movie continuity, from a soundtrack point of view, it HAS to be included. RIP Ryan, we miss you and we love you, you Random Hero you. 

This brings us back to “Jackass Forever”, and ten years in the making, they made sure we felt all of the feels. JOHNNY CASH played us into the trailer with “We’ll Meet Again” and we couldn’t WAIT for the latest instalment...the quaint qualities of the track brought back all of the nostalgia, the laughs, the good times, and those memories, and we knew the new film was going to go HARD. Harder than the man in black, drugged up playing a prison concert. Harder than Chris Pontius’ Godzilla penis...spoiler alert. “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb...” gets another nostalgic, acoustic cover this time courtesy of DJ PAUL and YELAWOLF but it incorporates a more modern, trap/hip-hop vibe and goes down its own lyrical route, breathing fresh life into the track a decade on. It brings together a new generation, a new cast, a new audience, and it’s quirky. 

Elsewhere, every song, has different connections to different fans, depending on their own personal Jackass preference. Very easily, we could talk about CKY and the connection with Bam, as he merged his original footage into the original series, and got his brothers band a full-on cult-like following. We all remember “69 Quite Bitter Beings” or, “Bernadette Nerr”, and of course, “Flesh Into Gear” from the first movie...and we can’t ignore “Afterworld” from “Jackass 3D”. CKY goes hand-in-hand with Jackass, but they are one of the most underrated bands on the planet. ANDREW WK can’t be left out with his party-hard anthem “We Want Fun”. Seeing the Jackass guys on Kerrang! in this music video was just amazing! 

​These are all key songs though in marketing, promotion, but what tracks stand out to our favourite stunts? While I could be here all day laughing to myself about the stupidest shit imaginable, what truly stands out? Ok the new movie has yet to sink into to our pop-culture conscious but, while these things take repeated views to really hammer home their genius, we can easily fondly remember the classics. The first movie has
“Let’s Get Fucked Up” from the golf cart scenes...perfectly delivered by the SMUT PEDDLERS as Knoxville gets knocked out. SLAYER provide “Angel Of Death” for the first ever movie stunt, the “Rent-A-Car Derby”...the SAHARA HOTNIGHTS soundtrack Ryan Dunn getting the shit kicked out of him by a girl, and how can we ignore SIR MIX-A-LOT with “Baby Got Back”?
Number two got a little more cultured, including a variety of artists, ranging from rap group THREE 6 MAFIA who happily watched Dave England eat dry horse shit...to the ELVIS PRESLEY classic “A Little Less Conversation” enhancing the “Beehive Limo”...we had Scandinavian leather rockers TURBONEGRO play “The Gauntlet” via “All My Friends Are Dead”, while Chris Pontius himself delivered a track called “Karazy” which was an unofficial sequel to “Sand Vagina”.  

​TWSITED SISTER
aided in the intro to “Jackass 3D” with “The Kids Are Back”, which was poignant too in the grand scheme of things, while we had blistering numbers by SASSAFRAS and a returning Roger Alan Wade with “Party In My Pants” ...before the ten-year hiatus, and ultimately, “Jackass Forever”, provided us with a fresh bunch of artists. Fans of Jackass will have their favourite cast-members, their favourite stunts and their favourite songs from the series, but collectively, we have to appreciate the thought and consideration that’s gone into these compilations. Sure, we’ve all made stunt clips, skating videos, skits, inspired by the Jackass crew, hell, I’ve been lucky enough to meet Steve-O and Bam, but we all take different memories from the stunts, the scenes, and the songs.
 We are blessed to live in a world where Jackass not only exists, but is applauded. It is escapism in the grandest form, it is relief from all of our own pain, suffering and misery, it is therapy for those less fortunate, and for that, and I will fucking name you...Jeff, Spike, Dimitry, Johnny, Bam, Steve-O, Ryan, Chris, Preston, Weeman, Rachel, Poopies, Ehren, Jasper, Zach, Eric, Dave, Raab, Rake, DiCamillo, Jess, April, Phill, Novak, Kosick, Loomis, Lance, Sean, everyone...THANKYOU. Everyone involved who ever made my own up-bringing a better place; THANKYOU...these soundtracks, as well as these films, fuelled a generation, and I, as well as many other people around the world, wouldn’t be the same without Jackass. Am I dumb? Yes. Am I tough? You bet your ass I’m tough...and I have these misfits to thank for it. We all do. Now, in the words of those Smut Peddlers...let’s get fucked up. #JackassForever. 

Remember, Jackass Forever is available RIGHT NOW on Blu-Ray, and other downloadable media type things, also the unseen footage will be included in Jackass 4.5, which will be on Netflix on May 20th. Merchandise is available online, and you can follow all of your favourite Jackass stars on social media. Warning...the stunts that you may or may not have remembered in this nostalgic commemorative write-up were performed by professionals. Neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt any of the things that this article has fondly reminisced on your behalf, because I’m not going to court because you’re a fucking idiot. Seriously I’m hammering that point home right now I know what the internet is like. Actually, scrap that, I’m not a hypocrite, just don’t come crying to me when you’ve got a toy car up your ass, getting tossed by a bull, eating a vomlette, blindfolded, in an exploding portable toilet. If it DOES happen though, film it for fuck's sake, don’t waste good footage.  

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JACKASS
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Kim Petras - "Slut Pop" EP

17/4/2022

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Now...I’m no prude (You should see my search history), BUT... Jesus Christ there is a time and a place for everything. I mean, you’d like to think so, but, where the fuck do I begin with this one? You’ll probably remember previous reviews on say, STEEL PANTHER, where the sexual innuendo and, cheeky lyricism started overshadowing what WAS originally meant to be like, a sort of parody homage to sleazy glam metal. What ended up happening was, they started becoming a bit reliant of the gimmick, the material became less funny and, the joke well and truly ran its course. THIS on the other hand, is like, Only Fans: The Official Soundtrack...this is “Slut Pop” by KIM PETRAS...and this is going to be painful... 

First off, who actually IS Kim Petras? Born in Cologne, Germany in 1992, Kim actually made headlines before she even became a recording artist, by being the youngest person in the world to undergo gender transition and sex reassignment surgery, aged just 16 in 2009. She’s since taken up music and already has a handful of records under her belt, viral single releases and notable growth including collaborations with CHARLI XCX and SOPHIE. Whatever your thoughts on her are, Kim clearly isn’t afraid to shy away from controversy, and that is beyond evident on this new EP here. With that being said, let’s slide into this EP’s DM’s and get to know it more intimately... 

We open up with the title-track and musically, first impressions we’re heading into some, DAFT PUNK inspired, electro-funk. It’s got basic percussion and a sort of, retro aesthetic with its bassy synths and it’s quite minimalistic. Lyrically however this track, and EP as a whole to be honest, is in the gutter. Lots of getting your dicks and tits out, Dad fucking, ass slapping...I mean, you do you but, Spotify is the last place I’d be looking for that sort of content. Moving on we have “Treat Me Like A Slut” and, well, if you insist...it transitions straight in to be fair with only minor tweaks to the keys and notes, while keeping in original tempo. Imagine like, going from missionary, to missionary with her legs over your shoulders. It’s the same, but different. There are elements of BRITNEY SPEARS’ influence here in some of the vocal delivery but for the most part she’s quite monotone. 

Keeping in with sudden transitions we have “XXX” and really speaking, little changes again. The chorus piece is very uninspired and repetitive to be fair, and when she says “I’m horny!” in that almost, childlike high-pitched squeal, it’s like, never to God! Really?! We honestly had no idea by this point. Can’t be dealing with all of these subtle hints and mixed signals. You need to be a bit more upfront with your intentions Kim...I’m not a mind reader! “Superpower Bitch” then houses more of that Charli XCX influence in tone and attitude, but pray tell, what IS your super power? Can you fly? Are you immortal? Can your vagina complete a Rubik’s cube? That last bit is actually closer to the truth than I’d appreciate...her power is that she can “make you cum”. Even Deadpool cringed at that one. 

This isn’t the last track on the record, but we’re going to have to wrap things up here, as I simply can’t handle any more of this. We have a track called “Throat Goat” and if the title doesn’t give away the plot to you here, bless you my sweet innocent child. Actually, scrap that, if you’re reading this there is nothing innocent about you whatsoever...I digress. Yes, as you can imagine, this song sucks on multiple levels, mostly below the waistline, as, it’s the most unashamed song about blow jobs I think I’ll EVER hear. That’s all there is to say on that...I’ll leave you experience this one for yourselves via the audio below.  

Overall, this one has been a challenge. Having known nothing about Kim Petras upon discovering this EP, I couldn’t process this. I had to delve. In the past, she’s released genuinely decent pop songs such as “Icy” and “Personal Hell” from the album “Clarity”, just for example, so where has this come from? Her stand-alone single “Coconuts” about her tits was one thing, but this is quite possibly the single horniest, thirstiest, sluttiest record I’ve ever heard...so...she’s succeeded?  

I can appreciate how unashamedly open she is sexually, but we’re not here to really judge that, I need to judge this EP and sadly, despite all of the lyrical content, the EP falls flat with its repetitive formula and uninspired instrumentation. Take away the in-your-face sexualised content, the shock value if you will, musically and tonally, this is a disappointingly boring listen. This is background music for the strip-club at best. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to take a cold shower...to cleanse myself of my sins you filthy cretins! [1] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KIMPETRAS
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King Satan - "Occult Spiritual Anarchy"

10/4/2022

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2022 is a big year for monarchy; not only is Queen Elizabeth II celebrating her Platinum Jubilee (I honestly didn’t know Liz had shifted that many records to be fair, the National Anthem is doing BIG numbers fam!) but it also marks the return of KING SATAN. The Finns, based in Tampere, first caught my attention back in 2017 with their strikingly assertive debut “King Fucking Satan”, which viciously blended hints of blackened metal with an aggrotech vibe. They’ve recently gotten in touch again with their latest album “Occult Spiritual Anarchy” and asked me to check it out...sounds like a good time to me. 

Before we get to any music, I want to point out that the album title sounds like we’re about watch out-takes and bloopers from Zak Bagan's Ghost Adventures...it’s an energy I live for, and I hope the album lives up to this. Pass me a Ouija board, I want to roast a demon! I jest. We open up with “Left Hand Path Symphony” and it initially starts with an almost, punk-rock level of frenetic urgency, before we get more familiar electronic key notes, giving it a sort of, house of horrors vibe. This is up-beat and intense, especially as vocalist King Aleister Satan tears his way through the track with his throat scorching scowls. It wonderfully blends an impatient aggressiveness with impressively streamlined pop-hooks and the combination really works. A strong start this. 

This is immediately followed by “The Faces Of The Devil” and in terms of aesthetic and energy level, we’re on par, and they’re blistering through this. We’re treated to some more distinct, classic rock inspired 6-string work with the guitar solo, which stands out from the techno, blast-beat-bombardment, but it complements the track, as opposed to sounding out of place. “Human Sacrifice” is something I will also endorse (And the track is alright too) ...as keyboardist Kate Boss gets to wrap her vocals around this one, and her super smooth, innocent harmonies sound positively angelic compared to the back-drop of unapologetic metal, resulting in quite the dramatic listening experience. 

If things haven’t impressed you by this point, then, and quite appropriately, we get “This Is Where The Magick Happens” and it’s easily the albums stand-out track. For an industrial-tinged sub-genre of metal this has no right being this catchy. Stylistically, little differs it from the above, but there’s a positivity and bounce to this and you can easily imagine this being insanely good at a live show, as its borderline anthemic in its own right. A fantastically fun track this.  

As much fun as we’re having however, there are a few niggling issues to address with a couple of the tracks. “The Pagan Satan” for example, makes use of subtle, folk horror feels, but despite moments of guitar work, it plods along methodically, and the almost spoken-word vocal delivery reminds you of “The Hessian” by VALLENBROSA, though sadly not as enjoyable. “Spiritual Anarchy ‘22” while being fun musically, has these, almost Elmo-esque vocal samples and it detracts from an otherwise O.K track. Closing track then “Outro (Clowning Is A Serious Business)” on face value looks like it’d fit right in with the type of drivel INSANE CLOWN POSSE would spout, or even BIG DUMB FACE...either way it’s an absolute nothing-track, complete waste of time and three minutes of your life you’ll never get back.  

Ultimately, while they’ve retained elements from their debut, with them still combining those coarse, metal elements with the more synth-heavy notes, they’ve toned back on the industrial/EDM aspects of their sound and delivered more of a straight-up, hard hitting heavy rock record. Does that matter? No, because King Satan have still delivered another solid record that’s well worth checking out. Occult spiritual anarchy? It’s the kind of fun you’d risk getting burnt at the stake for. [7] 

WWW.KINGSATAN.NET
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    Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x

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