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Sam Smith - "A Lonely Christmas" EP

24/12/2023

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“It’s Christmas time...there’s no need to be afraid...”. Never has a lyric been sung so confidently, yet with such naivety, than that opening line of the BAND AID single “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. The festive fear is in fact; justified. Yes, it’s that time of year, where retail stores, radios, adverts and office parties run through the Groundhog Day that is the classic Christmas soundtrack. The same tired, tested and tedious tracks year in year out, like some sort of glitch in Santa’s grotto, AKA an Amazon warehouse.  

We’re
in the year 2023, but the likes of MARIAH CAREY continue to emerge from their seasonal slumber, to sacrifice some poor souls, allowing her acidulous screeching's to earn her royalties. PAUL McCARTNEY spends an entire year trying to teach his choirboys just to sing “Ding Dong Ding Dong”... easily, undoubtedly the world’s shittiest choir. Come on lads, you’ve got TWO words to learn, put the priest's penis down and concentrate! I mean it can’t possibly get much worse? Surely? There’s no need to be afraid, right? Wrong. The following EP will make you wish you had coal in your stocking, and it caught fire, and burnt your house down, not only ruining your turkey, but killing your family too. We’re talking about SAM SMITH and the “A Lonely Christmas” EP.  

Sam has been in the limelight quite a lot this year, be it collaborating with KIM PETRAS on super-single “Unholy”, which, credit where it’s due, became one of the year's biggest pop songs, while promoting the latest album “Gloria” ...or, be it through image and presentation via some abhorrent fashion choices. Now, let’s get this out of the way, I don’t particularly give a shit about pronouns, it all makes less sense to me than the cinnamon challenge, or eating Tide pods. Too many misinformed youngsters jumping on another bandwagon let’s be honest. If Sam wants to identify as a non-binary, he/she/they/them/it/what/the/actual/fuck then, that’s a they/them problem. Frankly pronouns are the least of his worries; I haven’t gotten to the music yet. “A Lonely Christmas” is less four tracks of merriment, more, four tracks of Mary, the DNA tests show that Joseph IS NOT THE FATHER!!!! (The audience gasps, Mary, you slag!). Like an audible Glasgow kiss under the mistletoe, let’s tackle this tinsel covered tragedy head on... 

We
open up with “Night Before Christmas” and I assure you not a creature is stirring here. They aren’t concerned about Santa catching them peeking, they are just bored shitless. It’s an incredibly cliched Christmas ballad, fuelled by slow percussion, the softest of bluesy guitar notes and delicate underlying piano keys. Sam’s husky vocals are delivered in a lulling, melodic fashion and it harks back to the likes of early ELVIS PRESLEY, while soulfully channelling MICHAEL BUBLE in its soft croon. As traditional as it may sound, let's be honest, the night before Christmas is typically filled with excitement, with wonder. You leave your milk, cookies and carrots out for Santa and his reindeer...but we all know they are on a full-on cocaine trip. If you think Santa can cover the globe in one night, on cookies, milk and carrots, maybe some mince pies, without copious amounts of cocaine, you belong with the children. Reindeers fly with magic ‘dust’, yeah? Oh, and you saw mommy kissing Santa Claus? She’s having an affair, your parents are getting divorced, but, you get two Christmases. Yay! 

We follow up with “The Lighthouse Keeper”, and other than one solitary reference to Christmas, it’s a generic love-lorn ballad. Conceptually guiding a loved one home to your open arms. It’s sweet with its orchestral elements, traditional vibe and aesthetic, but Sam is so vocally beige. He tries to be soulful in his hushed presentation, but there are jokes in crackers with more life than this. You know how CHRIS REA is driving home for Christmas? Lost, every year? A sat-nav would fix his problems, get him home to his family, FINALLY...Sam bought a TomTom but with two very masculine names it was too cis male for him to cope with. An electronic device with a more confident gender identity is too much in 2023.  

Next up we have “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”, of JUDY GARLAND fame. A truly nostalgic, festive classic, made even more famous by the likes of FRANK SINATRA etc. A timeless track, best delivered in that crackly, early Hollywood croon, and with that said, no, scrap that. Forget I even mentioned it. Sam warbles it like the worst rendition of “America The Beautiful” at Wrestlemania... seriously...every year artists perform it because Mr, McMahon prefers it to the star-spangled banner, but this is more like a scarred, strangled cat. He just emptied the jazz lounge, and Santa just phoned in sick. Hundreds of millions of kids are waiting for toys, and the Chinese children can't handle the overtime you prick! That’s how depressing this track is. Alright his voice carries well, with soulful vibrato...but it’s like, asking for Minecraft, and your grampa gets you Mein Kampf.  

Finally, then we
finish up on “Palace” ...no reference to Christmas, just an acoustic ballad about more love-loss, courtesy of some legitimately poetic lyrics. Quaint, but the same old, same old... over these four tracks, Sam never shifts out of first gear. A competent vocalist, I’ll concede, but here he’s a one-trick pony. Similar tones, similar keys, identical delivery; overall monotonous in his presentation, which sucks for the holidays. Sam has done well for himself, that’s undeniable, regardless of his fashion sense, but his music on this instance, is about as festive as breast cancer. We complain that artists from the last 40 to 50 years saturate the Christmas market, year in, year out, but when modern artists like Sam are putting out depressing drivel like this, you’re actually ok with WIZZARD. Christmas music is a strange phenomenon as it is...it’s either too cheesy, or too sad. Rarely you’ll find a song that genuinely makes you feel festive...Sam sadly falls on the sad side of that chocolate coin. If anyone enjoys this...you DESERVE a lonely Christmas to be honest...[1] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/SAMSMITHWORLD
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The Darkness - "Permission To Land...Again"

4/10/2023

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As I’ve stated plenty of times before, back in the early 2000’s, we were in the height of the Nu-Metal era. All of the freshest bands were peddling in down tuned guitars; combining elements of alternative rock and metal, with rap and hip-hop, and traces of the tail end of grunge, and while the likes of LIMP BIZKIT and LINKIN PARK were riding high with chart success and platinum albums, there was always going to be a place, for good old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll. It’s at the very core of what we enjoy under many guises today, as rock ‘n’ roll will never truly die. By that I mean, it’s like CARRY ON films, they’re dated as fuck but, they’re fondly remembered for what they were. Nowadays we have an ever so slightly over-saturated market for modern classic rock bands but, that’s a whole different kettle of fish, and we aren’t talking about when rivers meet in the kitchen... 

Today, we celebrate another anniversary, as twenty years ago, Suffolk based spandex enthusiasts THE DARKNESS unleashed their debut album; “Permission To Land”. Permission was granted too, as they spent four weeks holding onto the coveted UK No.1 Album spot in the official charts, selling over a million copies, fending off the likes of IRON MAIDEN and DAVID BOWIE. It won them Brit Awards and made them rock ‘n’ rolls newest stars. Now, in 2023, let’s look back and shine another light on The Darkness, as we check out their new four-disk anniversary set and grant them “Permission To Land...Again”. 

Disk one kicks off with the original album plus a couple of demos, and we’re greeted with a little folklore a la “Black Shuck”. An East Anglian death omen, a devil dog of sorts, it supposedly terrorised church folk, but here it’s all very tongue-in-cheek. We’re treated to some ascending riff and drum work, very bluesy and gritty, before we’re met with front-man Justin Hawkins, and his unique and impressively high vocal range. He jovially sings of how this demon dog don’t give a fuck, as they swagger through a high energy hard rock number, with wailing guitars and a simplistic AC/DC-esque intensity. It’s a fun opener and caught many by surprise. 

Next up we have our first solid album highlight, by the brief bombardment of lead single “Get Your Hands Off My Woman”. The rolling intro of gradually built bass and cymbals, leading into a flurry of intense glam rock, with some insanely high-pitched vocal screeches. It’s got light punk rock qualities in its attitude and fuzzy production, coupled with the frenetic solo, but it’s an undeniably entertaining piece of rock. This certainly caught people's attention in the February of 2003.  

To say the album was top heavy, would be a fair assessment, as the following three tracks were also singles, and they certainly wanted to make an impression. “Growing On Me” is a twisted tale of relationship uncertainty; jumbled emotions and confusion, treating love almost like a fungus. Who’s really growing on who? Justin here is incredibly juxtaposed in what he wants, or feels, but there is definitely something there. Dan Hawkins is once again allowed to let rip on a guitar solo and this is just a band in full swing. 

Speaking of full swing, we have the bands piece de resistance... “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”. A 21st century anthem, it’s undeniably their biggest song, and the track that put them on the map. From the music video battling space aliens, to the catchy, sing-along harmonies where EVERYONE tried to reach those high notes and failed miserably. It’s got clap-along qualities and riffs not seen since the likes of QUEEN and it’s just splendid. Arguably overplayed at rock clubs and alternative DJ nights, but it’s still a fantastic, light-hearted rock number. 

The albums strongest track though, debatably, is “Love Is Only A Feeling”. The gentle nature of this sweet, emotive rock ballad is simply stunning. The guitars and overall tone ooze a mature sense of longing and heartache, and the Spanish guitars, with subtle keys merely add a level of romanticism. And that solo too! This is played with passion and a sense of honesty rarely found in rock bands. This is from the heart and it’s wonderful. 

The remaining half of the album is fine, but as previously stated it has been front-loaded. “Friday Night” has some jovial lyrics about ping-pong, badminton and gymnastics, it’s a quirky song about being nerds at school, but meeting at a dance hall and reconnecting. It’s sweet in its delivery but emphasises naïve, youthful romance. It’s like, “Friday I’m Love” by THE CURE in a catsuit and far less Goth. “Holding My Own” closes the album with another ballad, and as touching as it is, can’t compete with our previous efforts. 

The demos consist of unreleased tracks like “Out Of My Hands” and “Nothings Gonna Stop Us”, which are fine ballads and energetic numbers respectively, while “Black Shuck” gets the Vincent Price homage with a creepy intro a la “Thriller”. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” has the elements in place but it’s slower, with more synth underlay, and is a far cry from the finished song. A couple of tracks to check out but, the band picked all of the right singles to be fair. With the added production quality of course. I believe in a thing called studio engineering.  

Disk two then follows up with pretty much more of the same. There are alternate versions of the album tracks, different edits and such, clean and explicit cuts of tracks, and little nuances that die-hard fans would love to get their teeth into, as well as some more unreleased demos and recordings. “The Best Of Me” houses this semi–STATUS QUO aesthetic to its structure and guitar sound, bouncing along innocently enough like a filler track. “Bareback” is, despite it's potential in name alone, a pretty run of the mill rock instrumental, nothing flashy, it’s the kind of track they may use to walk out on stage to, to get the crowd warmed up etc. It's less bareback and more slow missionary with an extra thick condom on. Nobody enjoys that now, come on guys, shake yourselves. Ironically enough, “Physical Sex” is a dig at cyber and long-distance relationships, with amusingly relatable lines like “...a fuck should be multi-sensory, and you just can’t smell an email”. The main highlight here, however, would be their 21st century Holiday anthem “Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)”. This tongue-in-cheek masterclass in festive fun was only narrowly pipped to the Christmas No.1 spot upon its release, but it’s a song that’ll certainly stay a staple of many households’ Christmas soundtracks. 

The remaining two disks consist of live recordings, from when The Darkness performed at The Astoria, Knebworth and Wembley between 2003 and 2004, when both the album and the bands popularity was at its hottest. Again, nice to have as part of a collection for the bigger fans but if you aren’t that bothered about live albums it probably won’t make a difference to you here. All in all, while we’re currently in a scene where, this self-proclaimed new wave of classic rock is flooding festivals up and down the country, twenty years ago, The Darkness and this stunning debut, were a real breath of fresh air. The comedic aspects and Justin Hawkin’s vocals aren’t to everyone’s tastes, and the band have failed to match the heights of this album in the years since, but “Permission To Land” is simply a brilliantly fun rock ‘n’ roll album, and it deserves recognition. Give it another chance, maybe this time it’ll grow on you. Just keep your hands off my woman, motherfucker... [9] 
WWW.THEDARKNESSLIVE.COM
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Jackass: A Music Retrospective

24/4/2022

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Hello I’m Gavin Griffiths, and welcome to my blog...certain generations, have their own favoured and, primarily heartfelt, nostalgic pieces of pop-culture that, they fondly look back on, with a happy tear in their eye, and the very fondest of memories. Sure, I was born in 89’ (Age reveal right there) and remember plenty of things like the Power Rangers taking over the world, the original Pokémon taking over the world, the SPICE GIRLS phenomenon taking over the world, Pinky & The Brain WANTING to take over the world, but nothing gripped me more as a young teen and, quite truthfully, prospectless delinquent, than JACKASS. 

When it first hit screens in 2000 on
MTV, I was HOOKED. Sure, it was ridiculous watching Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O et al putting themselves through what they did, and let's be quite honest here, a LOT of us did the same, ignoring those “professional warnings” (I’m not joking when I say that, I should be dead right now, not writing this), but it was that on-screen friendship, that level of banter and comradery, that had us all cringing, crying, and laughing our asses off, often simultaneously.  

While the stunts themselves are memorable, and oh boy there are so many to pick from, we often forget, or, overlook the soundtracks; the songs that remind us of that one particular time we laughed, while someone nearly died. Now in 2022, as the guys
(Along with some fresh cast members) have released the franchises fourth movie instalment; “Jackass Forever”, which is out on Blu-Ray now, and with “Jackass 4.5” hitting Netflix next month, let’s look at the music that enhances the stupidity, and take a deep dive into some of the most memorable musical moments in Jackass history. 

Now, for the sake of this piece not being biblical in length, we’ll be focusing on the movies, but if there’s one song you HAVE to include, it’s “Corona” by MINUTEMEN. Sure, it may have been released back in 1984, with its own intended purposes, and meanings to the early punk-rockers, but when you hear those opening chords, you just picture that skull and crutches logo hitting the black screen, and you just KNOW you are in for a good time. The up-beat, jovial tones of the song enhance the light-hearted tomfoolery of the prank-loving cast, and as a bouncy piece of music, with it’s almost oompah-esque level of frivolity, it’s perfect for the laugh-along nature of the show. It resurrected an entire band and became an anthem for modern day idiots in one swoop. You simply HAVE to smile, when you hear this song come on, it’s an unwritten law. 

​Before we get into some specifics there are some famous stand-out, and reoccurring tracks that we have to applaud, and the first of those, has to be the
“Party Boy” theme. It’s no more, than a simple piece of retro, synth-driven funky dance music, but as SOON as you hear those bass-driven keys pulse through your speakers, you just KNOW, that someone, from somewhere, is going to strip down to a shiny silver thong, and dance crotch-first into your face. Again, the very thought of Chris Pontius getting to do his favourite thing in the world; strip, to dance semi-naked for some unsuspecting victim, will never not be hilarious. I don’t care if you’re a Japanese fortune teller or Sami Zayn at WWE’s WrestleMania...you aren’t safe from Party Boy! 
We can’t NOT mention, ROGER ALAN WADE. Johnny Knoxville’s cousin and blues country icon, he probably IS mostly famous for his contribution to Jackass in wider circles, but his penchant for his heart-on-his-sleeve lyricism, was fine-tuned to perfection on this mellow masterpiece; “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb You Gotta Be Tough”. It carries with it the same light-hearted tone as the title theme, but lyrically it just fits PERFECTLY. It makes light of the absurdity and insanity, and while a relaxed acoustic piece, it only enhances the fun. It’s one of those songs that, like with the intro, simply brings a happy tear to your eye as you know EXACTLY where this comes from, what it represents. Country music is rarely considered anthemic, but in its own right this is the anthem of idiots worldwide. 

​So much so in fact, it’s become sort of, a secondary Jackass anthem, having appeared in all of the movies in some capacity. In
"Jackass Number Two", we had a version by SMUT PEDDLERS, which brought a far more intense, raw, punk-rock tone to the track, which was fitting with the film. While the song went up a level, so did the cast, and so did the stunts, and it was just next level brilliance in its own right. Everyone enjoys a good number two. “Jackass 3D” saw YEAH YEAH YEAHS front-woman KAREN-O wrap her vocals around another fresh cover, which, DID return to a more country/acoustic, almost banjo vibe, as we’d come full circle, and this was almost closure for the team. There was a poignancy to the track, as it was here, that we’d thought we’d seen the last of the Jackass crew on the big screen, or any screen, and it was sweet. This is something that ties us into the next three tracks...bear with me while I get a bit weepy. 
 In terms of closure, few tracks hit home more emotionally than “Memories” by WEEZER, from “Jackass 3D”. Those closing credits ten years ago, with the old-school footage, the apropos lyrical reflection on the cast and crews' memories...despite being a genuinely fun song, it was a beautifully sad song at the very same time. We grew up with the crew, their antics, and it felt like closure, and memories were all we would have of this brilliantly insane decade. Sadly, memories would become TOO meaningful, as Ryan Dunn, one of the most beloved cast members, tragically passed away in a car accident not too long after the third film came out. While the song “Memories” brought happy tears to our eyes, Roger Alan Wade returned to really turn on the water works, with his song “The Light Outlives The Star”, and while not part of the Jackass movie continuity, from a soundtrack point of view, it HAS to be included. RIP Ryan, we miss you and we love you, you Random Hero you. 

This brings us back to “Jackass Forever”, and ten years in the making, they made sure we felt all of the feels. JOHNNY CASH played us into the trailer with “We’ll Meet Again” and we couldn’t WAIT for the latest instalment...the quaint qualities of the track brought back all of the nostalgia, the laughs, the good times, and those memories, and we knew the new film was going to go HARD. Harder than the man in black, drugged up playing a prison concert. Harder than Chris Pontius’ Godzilla penis...spoiler alert. “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb...” gets another nostalgic, acoustic cover this time courtesy of DJ PAUL and YELAWOLF but it incorporates a more modern, trap/hip-hop vibe and goes down its own lyrical route, breathing fresh life into the track a decade on. It brings together a new generation, a new cast, a new audience, and it’s quirky. 

Elsewhere, every song, has different connections to different fans, depending on their own personal Jackass preference. Very easily, we could talk about CKY and the connection with Bam, as he merged his original footage into the original series, and got his brothers band a full-on cult-like following. We all remember “69 Quite Bitter Beings” or, “Bernadette Nerr”, and of course, “Flesh Into Gear” from the first movie...and we can’t ignore “Afterworld” from “Jackass 3D”. CKY goes hand-in-hand with Jackass, but they are one of the most underrated bands on the planet. ANDREW WK can’t be left out with his party-hard anthem “We Want Fun”. Seeing the Jackass guys on Kerrang! in this music video was just amazing! 

​These are all key songs though in marketing, promotion, but what tracks stand out to our favourite stunts? While I could be here all day laughing to myself about the stupidest shit imaginable, what truly stands out? Ok the new movie has yet to sink into to our pop-culture conscious but, while these things take repeated views to really hammer home their genius, we can easily fondly remember the classics. The first movie has
“Let’s Get Fucked Up” from the golf cart scenes...perfectly delivered by the SMUT PEDDLERS as Knoxville gets knocked out. SLAYER provide “Angel Of Death” for the first ever movie stunt, the “Rent-A-Car Derby”...the SAHARA HOTNIGHTS soundtrack Ryan Dunn getting the shit kicked out of him by a girl, and how can we ignore SIR MIX-A-LOT with “Baby Got Back”?
Number two got a little more cultured, including a variety of artists, ranging from rap group THREE 6 MAFIA who happily watched Dave England eat dry horse shit...to the ELVIS PRESLEY classic “A Little Less Conversation” enhancing the “Beehive Limo”...we had Scandinavian leather rockers TURBONEGRO play “The Gauntlet” via “All My Friends Are Dead”, while Chris Pontius himself delivered a track called “Karazy” which was an unofficial sequel to “Sand Vagina”.  

​TWSITED SISTER
aided in the intro to “Jackass 3D” with “The Kids Are Back”, which was poignant too in the grand scheme of things, while we had blistering numbers by SASSAFRAS and a returning Roger Alan Wade with “Party In My Pants” ...before the ten-year hiatus, and ultimately, “Jackass Forever”, provided us with a fresh bunch of artists. Fans of Jackass will have their favourite cast-members, their favourite stunts and their favourite songs from the series, but collectively, we have to appreciate the thought and consideration that’s gone into these compilations. Sure, we’ve all made stunt clips, skating videos, skits, inspired by the Jackass crew, hell, I’ve been lucky enough to meet Steve-O and Bam, but we all take different memories from the stunts, the scenes, and the songs.
 We are blessed to live in a world where Jackass not only exists, but is applauded. It is escapism in the grandest form, it is relief from all of our own pain, suffering and misery, it is therapy for those less fortunate, and for that, and I will fucking name you...Jeff, Spike, Dimitry, Johnny, Bam, Steve-O, Ryan, Chris, Preston, Weeman, Rachel, Poopies, Ehren, Jasper, Zach, Eric, Dave, Raab, Rake, DiCamillo, Jess, April, Phill, Novak, Kosick, Loomis, Lance, Sean, everyone...THANKYOU. Everyone involved who ever made my own up-bringing a better place; THANKYOU...these soundtracks, as well as these films, fuelled a generation, and I, as well as many other people around the world, wouldn’t be the same without Jackass. Am I dumb? Yes. Am I tough? You bet your ass I’m tough...and I have these misfits to thank for it. We all do. Now, in the words of those Smut Peddlers...let’s get fucked up. #JackassForever. 

Remember, Jackass Forever is available RIGHT NOW on Blu-Ray, and other downloadable media type things, also the unseen footage will be included in Jackass 4.5, which will be on Netflix on May 20th. Merchandise is available online, and you can follow all of your favourite Jackass stars on social media. Warning...the stunts that you may or may not have remembered in this nostalgic commemorative write-up were performed by professionals. Neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt any of the things that this article has fondly reminisced on your behalf, because I’m not going to court because you’re a fucking idiot. Seriously I’m hammering that point home right now I know what the internet is like. Actually, scrap that, I’m not a hypocrite, just don’t come crying to me when you’ve got a toy car up your ass, getting tossed by a bull, eating a vomlette, blindfolded, in an exploding portable toilet. If it DOES happen though, film it for fuck's sake, don’t waste good footage.  

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JACKASS
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Electric Six - "Streets Of Gold"

23/11/2021

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Most bands, however successful, are just as partial to a cheeky cover track, as you and the lads are partial to a cheeky Nando’s. Mind you, like Nando’s own scale of spicy sauces, some covers might hit the spot, some will make you want to shit ON the spot. Just recently I applauded DAVE GAHAN’s hauntingly beautiful cover of METALLICA’s “Nothing Else Matters”...I will never NOT be in love with HIM’s cover of “Wicked Game”...and JOHNNY CASH’s “Hurt” is simply tear-jerking...in a good way.  

On the flip side then, you have, say... MARILYN MANSON, who’s covers mostly sound like the rejected pile, from the already rejected pile, from BTEC talent show auditions from Wheretheactualfuckistan, that weren’t even so bad they were amusing. Sweet dreams are in fact made, when you are NOT butchering the EURYTHMICS thank you Mazza. 

This then brings us to ELECTRIC SIX. The Detroit alt./experimental rockers, while renowned for their 2003 hits “Gay Bar” and “Danger! High Voltage”, are recording and touring machines. Dick Valentine and co almost never stop, especially Dick...Dick just keeps on going...*Cough* excuse me. Honestly though, they’re in double digits with their albums and almost live on the road.  

While they throw a cover of THE OSMONDS hit “Crazy Horses” into the mix occasionally, their only real cover of any notoriety came when they released QUEEN’s classic “Radio Gaga”, which stirred up some mild controversy...other than that, they’re as original as they come. So, it’s surprising then, that 2021 finds the dance commanders releasing “Streets Of Gold” via Cleopatra Records...an entire album’s worth of covers! The trouble is with Electric Six...what the hell can we expect? Let’s find out... 

The album opens up with a version of “Don’t Change”, which was originally a 1982 hit for Australian rockers INXS...and musically it’s kept somewhat loyal to the original. It’s got the synth driven opening and characteristics, and remains upbeat; it’s a fun little track 40 years on, though Dick’s own vocal twang gives the track a slightly different feel. It’s the kind of track you can easily see the band having fun with live, and it’s a fairly decent start. Next up, we have a cut from one ROKY ERIKSON...and last time we crossed paths with him, it was courtesy of GHOST covering “If You Have Ghosts”, which was in fact superb. Here, we have a take on his 1981 effort “Click Your Fingers Applauding The Play”, and the rough-edged psychedelic-tinged, classic rock frankly suits Electric Six perfectly. The soft gallop of the guitar and especially the lyrical structure benefit Dick’s own style, and a cover such as this simply makes sense. Even if the high notes are questionable...like, Barry Gibb stepping on Lego... 

For a band as eccentric as Electric Six, it's easy to assume there must be some properly deranged, obscure cuts here making up this compilation of covers, but to be fair they’ve included some big names. ALICE COOPER gets a nod with a cover of “No More Mr. Nice Guy” and again, tonally, it’s fairly true to the original instrumentally. It retains a classic, semi-glam rock aesthetic and the simplicity of the track enables the band to just, have fun performing a track they enjoy. We get a track from KISS; “Strutter”...and I just want it to be known, they are the ultimate catfish band. You look at Kiss, and expect something like, VENOM...something hellish and visceral, but then you remember only Gene Simmons looks demonic, the others just look like a bunch of face painted spandex-clad twats. I digress, this version is better. Enough said. 

Some questions DO have to be asked though...as we get Dick Valentine wrapping his vocals around “Little Lies” by FLEETWOOD MAC, which is arguably one of the sweetest songs ever written. There are soft vocal harmonies with delicate synths layered throughout, giving an almost childlike innocence, that are balanced by some adequate guitar surges through the chorus, but Dick hasn’t got the voice to REALLY pull this off. Sure, it’s fun, and you can’t not enjoy this song, but sadly this isn’t a patch on the original. Our lead single then...”Yah Mo B There”...by JAMES INGRAM sounds like, the most, recherché of all possible options given the aforementioned, but it works! The classic, synth driven, funk-led R’n’B leans heavily towards Electric Six’s general output. A tad annoying, don’t get me wrong, but it works. 

Overall, this collection of tracks is equally interesting as it is enjoyable. There are certain tracks that the band have adapted well, and some that don’t quite sit right with their established sound, but it makes for an adventure as much as it does a listen. It gives you more of an idea of where Electric Six formed; as the funky, jazz-fuelled, glam rock is a style they’ve been fine tuning and owning since those days of “Fire” etc. More of a bonus treat for the long-term die-hards than anything else; it’s got its moments but there are several more important records to start with if you are new to Electric Six. Either way, the band continue life on the road in the UK this December, and, yeah...yah mo B there...[5] 

WWW.ELECTRICSIX.COM
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Måneskin - "Teatro D'ira - Vol. 1"

30/10/2021

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It’s been a long time since I talked about Eurovision...granted this year the UK’s presence AND result, shared the same number of points as having a lifeguard at the Olympics for the swimming events. Zero. Talk about inadequate! (Ok, health and safety aside you get the point...unlike the UK) I digress. While I can laugh at the dumpster fire that is my own country right now, where there are losers, there are of course, winners, and if you recall, this year's honours went to Italy and their unexpected rock entrants MÅNESKIN.  

Formed in Rome in 2016, comprising of vocalist Damiano David, bassist Victoria De Angelis, guitarist Thomas Raggi and drummer Ethan Torchio, they rose to national prominence via Italy’s own version of The X Factor where they finished runners up in 2017, but they’ve grown in stature ever since. As rising stars in Italy, they not only won over Europe with their Eurovision track “Zitti E Buoni”, but they’ve also just landed their first slot on American tv, performing on “The Tonight Show” no less. Impressive stuff! Let’s catch up with the four-piece as we check out their 2021 mini-album “Teatro D’ira - Vol. 1” 

The album (Which I believe translates as “Theatre 
Of Wrath – Vol. 1”) kicks off with that Eurovision winner “Zitti E Buoni” which in turn translates to “Shut Up And Behave”, or there about. It’s easy to see why this did well in the Netherlands this year; the band have a real sense of swagger, combined with a classic rock flare and presentation wise are bonded with an almost sexual chemistry. It’s an up-tempo rocking piece with fast paced vocal delivery in their native Italian and it’s simply a fun track, regardless of if you understand it.  

Elsewhere we have “Lividi Sui Gomiti” which I think means something along the lines of “Bruises On Your Elbows”...and I can’t say that I have any form or context for this. Maybe they were fans of Macho Man Randy Savage, I don’t know. The track itself is another quickly semi-spoken offering in terms of vocal and lyrical delivery. It’s got a wonderfully smooth blues rock vibe within its twangy guitar tones and as it climaxes it exudes a sense of angst and frustration that rounds off the track well. “I Wanna Be Your Slave” then provides one of the select few English language tracks and it’s an interesting one. It’s incredibly rife with its intentional sense of juxtaposition, channelling a sense of internal struggle and identity crisis. With lyrics like “I wanna be a good boy / I wanna be a ganster” and “I wanna be a sinner / I wanna be a preacher” among others screams of an inner turmoil. Given how society is today with a lot more emphasis on transgender issues, rights and equality, this song lyrically, and its accompanying music video especially, can probably help many find or understand themselves. Risqué or down right offensive to some but bold and empowering to many. Support the latter folks.  

Elsewhere then we have the likes of “In Nome Del Padre” which I believe means “In The Name Of The Father” and it’s got that bluesy, almost southern rock vibe instrumentally, but the pacing of the Italian lyrics give this a certain frustrated edge, like it’s inspired by RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE in certain aspects. “Coraline” then simply reminds me of the stop-motion animation, and by that I obviously mean this should be another song silly! Forget buttons sewn into my eyes, use them to plug my ears! It’s more of an acoustic led piece. It does transition into some grittier guitar work but it fails to captivate.  

Overall, while having captured people's attention on a global scale, with some provocative videos and stage presence, plus a couple of energetic tunes, the band haven’t really unleashed any wrath so to speak, they’re all theatre. Granted to a mainstream audience the language barrier will cause some issues, but they are capable of delivering tunes in English too, which goes in their favour. They utilise classic hard rock aesthetics well and do have their own charm, and I’m sure they’ll be given chance to evolve having dipped their toes in American waters. Just as their name means Moonlight...they need the opportunity to fully glow. [6]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/MANESKINOFFICIAL
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Billy Idol - "The Roadside" EP

16/10/2021

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MTV...it’s MEANT to stand for “Music Television”, if you can remember that. Nowadays it’s full of ten-a-penny reality TV shows, and original programming aimed at teenagers and young adults. Whatever that means. Stars are being “made” for their fifteen minutes of fame apiece, but they are entirely disposable. Not like the good old days.  

As I stated MTV was and should be all about the music, that was the entire point! It was a new media platform in the evolution of entertainment to provide artists with a means of promotion, creative freedom and advertisement, which you could enjoy all day from the comfort of your home WAY before the internet! Music videos were new, fresh and exciting, and it allowed bands to reach vast new audiences outside of radio.  

The initial wave of these artists would ultimately go down in history, as being pioneers; ground-breaking media personas, as being among the first, they were at the forefront of a new evolution in mainstream media attention, and one of those artists, was BILLY IDOL. Born in London as William Broad, Billy first found fame as part of underground punk outfit GENERATION-X before his solo career exploded in the early 80’s. Tracks such as “White Wedding” and “Rebel Yell” had cemented him as a bonafide punk rock poster boy; leather clad with his blonde hair, whiplash smile and cheeky charm; he was made for MTV. In 2021, we find Billy Idol revitalised, releasing his first original music since 2014; via an EP by the name of “The Roadside”. Are we stopping at the services for a quick Maccies en route or have we completely broken down with five flat tires and no phone service? Let’s find out... 

We’re going to have to start off by talking about “Bitter Taste”; the EP’s lead single and the focus point of Idol’s latest creative flurry. The track itself, conceptually, is centred around a motorcycle accident Idol was involved in back in 1990, which nearly cost him his life. It’s a heavily reflective track, that he likens to this past year or so of the pandemic. Lifestyles change, habits change, your entire way of life and way of thinking changes in face of uncertainty and, such incidents can mature you mentally and emotionally. The track musically is a sombre, acoustic heavy, semi-country inspired ballad, and you can not only hear, but feel the reflection and sentiment in Idol’s voice; in his lyrics and the overall delivery of the track as a whole. The subtle piano keys that litter the track sporadically add a quaint delicacy to the already soft recording, and they complement the gentle percussion and mellow acoustics, before we get a more frustrated flurry of more aggressive vocals towards the tracks climax. Deep in its sense of soul searching, it is a thing of beauty.  

But what else makes up the rest of the 4-track EP? It actually opens up with “Rita Hayworth” who, for those of you who don’t know, is an American actress who was prominent in the late 1930’s through the 1940’s, where she found herself as a popular pin-up girl for American GI’s. Topically the track mirrors Hayworth’s own personal struggles with Columbia Pictures with the soulless corporate political money trap Hollywood is today. Almost a piece of advice put to music, he sings “You’re swimmin’ with Jaws and this dream town will swallow you whole; you’re gonna’ need a bigger boat”. A sadly all too common remark towards the otherwise glamourized Hollywood lifestyle of fame and fortune. It eats people up and breaks people down. Set to a no-nonsense rocking piece of instrumentation with a solid groove and soaring gang vocal whoa’s, it’s a fun, up-beat bit of rock ‘n’ roll. 

​The second half of the EP is made up of “U Don’t Have To Kiss Me Like That”, which harks back to a jovial sense of late seventies / early 80’s glam rock that could quite easily appeal to fans of say T-REX and MARC BOLAN for example. It’s more of that era in aesthetic and highlights more of the early influences Idol would have been around growing up, before we finish up on “Baby Put Your Clothes Back On” which on paper, sounds like an absolute mood killer. It turns out that, that’s actually accurate. A slow jam of twangy guitars and mild percussion not unlike something CHRIS ISAAK would produce, it’s another reflective track about self-worth and emotional maturity that could easily thematically tie-in to the main narrative of “Bitter Taste”. It’s as if he harks back to when he realised there was more to life than fun times, girls and living fast and it’s quite humbling. 

With Idol’s last record, “Kings And Queens Of The Underground” being a trip down memory lane itself, here we see him continue to take inspiration from the past and using his memories and stories as a form of catharsis through his creative process. From a selfish point of view, we could all easily say we’d prefer a new full-length Billy Idol album, as it’s been so long, but the quality and honesty presented here more than makes up for it. As far as this EP goes, we are so glad you weren’t left by that roadside, as THAT, would have left a bitter taste. [9] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BILLYIDOL
SPEAKING OF THE ROAD...BILLY IDOL makes his return to the UK in 2022 for a live arena tour, his first since 2018! The original rebellious poster boy hits six dates across the UK with special support from THE GO-GO'S to promote his new EP, as well as treating audiences to a plethora of classic hits and favourites. Tickets are available right now, via www.aegpresents.co.uk/events/detail/billy-idol - and to clarify, the dates and venues are as follows;

Saturday June 11th - Glasgow, SSE Hydro
Monday June 13th - Manchester, AO Arena
Wednesday June 15th - Birmingham, Resorts World Arena
Saturday June 18th - London, SSE Arena Wembley
Sunday June 19th - Cardiff, Motorpoint Arena
​Tuesday June 21st - Leeds, First Direct Arena

We hope to see you all at the roadside next Summer...you'll find me at Cardiff.
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Various Artists - "The Metallica Blacklist"

14/9/2021

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Image Courtesy Of Rolling Stone
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Iconic...legendary...these are words quite often thrown around haphazardly nowadays. Like, you're at the bar and your mate goes for a round and comes back with a cheeky packet of pork scratchings, so you call him a legend. No, he’s not a legend, he’s a bell-end he could have grabbed two packs the selfish twat. I digress. When it comes to something like music, or art in general, it takes something special to garner such praise, truly, and today’s review is a real reflection of that. Today we’re going to be talking about METALLICA. 

Now, love them or hate them for whatever reasons y’all elitist metal heads have (Personally bar a couple of tracks, I’m not a massive fan of Metallica, or their style of metal in general but that’s just me) you can’t deny the impact they’ve had on heavy music since day one. Their early discography helped lay the foundations for the evolution of metal into thrash and beyond, churning out some of the most important releases of the whole genre...until in 1991, when they released arguably THE most important; “The Black Album”. 

Many OG fans felt like it was a bit of a departure from their raw origins, incorporating softer melodies and more clean vocals (James Hetfield has gone on record to say on this album he finally became a singer) and that while still Metallica, and as strong of an album it technically was, they had sold out. Sounds absurd right? “The Black Album”, already following “...And Justice For All” simply cemented them as THE biggest metal band on the planet, and in terms of the history of metal, it’s one of the foremost standard bearers. In 2021...that still holds true. 

Thirty years after its release, it’s still talked about and revered for its influence and importance, and to celebrate the albums anniversary, Metallica have decided to cherry pick a plethora of artists from all walks of life, to highlight just how influential the album has been. The artists got to pick a song of their choosing from “The Black Album” and record a cover, for what is now known, as “The Blacklist”. SIXTY-SIX versions of the songs you all know and love...in one compilation. Let’s dive into this, black hole if you will, and highlight some the more, diverse recordings on offer. 

Luckily for us, the tracks aren’t all thrown together mish mash like the running order was decided by a washing machine spin-cycle, they are categorised by specific tracks, and to start us off, we have 7 renditions of “Enter Sandman”. Let’s be honest as far as heavy metal anthems go, this is up there in the top tier; a rock club floor filler guaranteed for beer fuelled singalongs...so what do we get here? ALESSIA CARA is first up and the “Scars To Your Beautiful” songstress wraps her husky, soulful pop vocals around the track, accompanied by THE WARNING. As a performer she brings a fresh take on the vocals and this is SLICK; a very strong start here. As the track progresses, we get the heavier instrumental factors and it becomes something say, FLORENCE & THE MACHINE would drop on an EP... actually that sounds fantastic somebody make that happen.  

Sticking with “Enter Sandman” we get some interesting variations...we get WEEZER dropping a version that wouldn’t be out of place on their own “The Teal Album” compilation...a pretty straightforward cover, bar a couple of guitar tweaks and a subtle nod to “Buddy Holly”. It’s fine. RINA SAWAYAMA then takes things up a notch with a surging, riff-heavy almost techno-inspired piece of production with bold, assertive vocals, becoming possibly one of the tracks better covers ever. Occultist theatrical rockers GHOST then drop arguably the most creative cover, as they ditch the iconic intro, and delve straight into a piano-led lyrical opening. They have their distinct style, and the holy-tones soon shift into gear as the guitars erupt, and it’s an interesting take on the classic. 

Next up we have “Sad But True” and I have to say, the best version here by far comes courtesy of country artist JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT. The country/rockabilly twist with the twangy guitars gives the Alabama-born artist a unique take on the track and it really works. South Korean outfit YB offer a more up-tempo rock recording, which, while fine audibly, highlights the global reach Metallica have. 
“Holier Than Thou” takes up the third portion of the album and this kicks off with BIFFY CLYRO and to be fair, they produce quite a quirky, synth-based recording but the novelty sadly wears off as boy does this rendition drag out...you took over five minutes to do a track less than four minutes long. Absolutely no need lads. Spoiled it for yourselves. THE CHATS and OFF! Both drop simultaneous punk-rock covers which, while decent in their own right are put too closely together and it depreciates both their values. COREY TAYLOR then showcases why he is one of the most prominent voices in modern metal as he tears through his own hard rocking rendition; quite raw but with it’s own throw-back, thrash-metal vibe going on. 

Back to more ballad-based territory we find ourselves at “The Unforgiven” and CAGE THE ELEPHANT kick us off with an incredibly stripped back, indie/acoustic cover and the hushed, smoky vocals allow for an even more intimate listening experience, which suit the song quite well really. DIET CIG keep the indie aesthetic going but the New York duo bring a brasher recording to the table and it works just as well. Some of the compilations better covers come here however, as we depart far from what you would perceive Metallica to be, courtesy of FLATBUSH ZOMBIES Feat. DJ SCRATCH. We get a proper old-school hip-hop beat laid in front of us with some classic flows layered around the soft melodic vocal chorus from James Hetfield. This works surprisingly well as a mash up to be fair, it’s impressive. This can also be said for HA*ASH, as the Louisiana-based duo deliver a wonderfully relaxed harmonic clean vocal cover with acoustic, Latin-pop aesthetics giving the track some extra flavour.  
It’s safe to assume that, the most popular tracks will get the most covers as they are going to get the most attention, and as good as the aforementioned have been, if you think of “The Black Album”...you think of “Nothing Else Matters”. The ballad that sent Metallica into the mainstream stratosphere, here, gets a whopping 13 renditions...it’s essentially an album worth of tracks within itself! There’s a LOT to get through here so we’ll focus on some highlights...and we have to start with the one that got all of the attention...starring MILEY CYRUS with ELTON JOHN on piano. Originally scoffed at for her “Wrecking Ball” era output, she’s come on leaps and bounds as a vocal performer, having worked alongside everyone from DOLLY PARTON to BILLY IDOL, and credit to her here, she wraps her smoky voice around this superbly. It’s big, it’s bold, it’s confident, it’s passionate and it WORKS. Forget jumping on bandwagons and all that gubbins, you need to appreciate Miley here as a performer, this is a respect earner for even the die-hards.  

On the other end of the scale then, we get a cover I was myself personally looking forward to, courtesy of DEPECHE MODE vocalist DAVE GAHAN. His sombre rendition is practically haunting as he croons his way through the track, taking it to whole new levels of emotional torment, yet while undeniably sad, its equally undeniably beautiful; I love this. On a side note, it’s rare I highlight instrumentals but, German pianist IGOR LEVIT offers up a sincerely sweet solo piano rendition which could quite easily pass for a lullaby. 
The rest of the compilation consists then of, non-single tracks and while not necessarily less-popular, they are lesser known to mainstream audiences...deeper cuts if you will. These, naturally get sparse recognition in comparison, but they aren’t without their talking points. French vocalist IZIA does well with “My Friend Of Misery”, offering a fuzzy, up-beat electronic-tinged rock offering, despite the slightly awkward chorus transition. IMELDA MAY drops by for a quick cover of “The God That Failed” that has quite a deep, bluesy swagger, while TOMI OWO wraps her soft, husky vocals around a delicate version of “Through The Never”. It’s still got guitar presence but it’s got more of an R’n’B flavour. 

Naturally...there are over sixty tracks here, you must be thinking, surely there has to be some absolute crap littered throughout the compilation? I have to say, you would be absolutely correct. JUANES idea of “Enter Sandman” is like, he is first trying to learn THAT riff for the first ever time...it is SO jerky and dissected it detracts from the feeling of the song entirely. ROYAL BLOOD’s cover of “Sad But True” is no more than a straight-up cover with little additional character, which results in a pretty boring listen quite frankly. CHASE & STATUS with BACKROAD GEE drop this god-awful mumble-rap, grime-inspired take on “Wherever I May Roam”...I suggest you roam as far away from this as physically possible, and then defy physics and roam further. This is abysmal. Sadly, another disappointment comes courtesy of THE HU. The Mongolian throat-metal traditionalists deliver a cover of “Through The Never” in, I GUESS their native language, with some native instrumentation. It gives the track some interesting character with fresh sounds, but you lose all of the sing-along qualities here. This might be nit-picking but, it’s lacking in it’s own ways. 

Overall, over the course of this, playlist essentially, there is a noticeably distinct lack of rock and metal, and really that’s probably by design. The artists that have contributed that have kept to these genres, haven’t really brought anything new to the table and those covers in question have been really quite run of the mill...it’s the diversity of artists that Metallica were looking to showcase and they have undeniably delivered on that front. A lot of these vocalists have injected fresh ideas into thirty-year-old classics by utilising their own inspirations, backgrounds, ideas and flavours, creating a genuinely creative cocktail menu with just twelve original songs to work with. Metallica fans might not appreciate this 100%, most still living in their tight stonewashed jeans, patch-laden battle jackets and downing warm cases of beer...a bit like GNAR KILL fans I guess, (James Hetfield is Hell Boy confirmed) but for anyone curious about the legacy of this album, and have nearly six hours to kill, it’s worth a listen...I guess? [7] 
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Cathedral In Flames - "Hang Me High & Bury Me Deep"

9/9/2021

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Ok so... back at the end of 2019, transitioning into January 2020, you may remember I kicked off the new year with a piece of Prague-based modern post-punk, courtesy of a band by the name of CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES. They contacted me about their then new EP “Children Of The Blackest Hole”, asking for a review consideration, and if you recall, I praised their nostalgic, raw take on the genre and nods to icons like FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM. 

Typically, regardless of the review itself (Be it positive or not so much) any band in question tends to say their thankyou’s for listening, for taking my time to write about their record etc, there will be the social media sharing, and that’s that...we move on... not Cathedral In Flames. I have to give them the utmost credit here as, for my time and kind words, they not only shipped me a vinyl copy of the EP, but the collectors coffin case with USB edition EP and commemorative lighter. The lighter even came with a mini cardboard Cathedral to set fire to! (The Cathedral is still in-tact by the way). This was one of the sweetest things they could have done...and I hate it. 

Alright so I don’t hate it, I was genuinely grateful, but now it puts me under a spot of pressure, as we catch up with them having released their debut album; “Hang Me High & Bury Me Deep”. Do I find any excuse under the desert Sun to panegyrize their latest release out of a sense of duty, or even guilt...or do I stay true to myself and take it on the face value like Little Caprice? I can’t believe I just googled “Top Czech Republic Porn Actresses” for the sake of an analogy. Anyway...let’s check it out and hopefully there will be no burying required. 

We open up with “Twilight Of The Goths” which looks to be a little take on Richard Wagner’s “Götterdämmerung”, or, “Twilight Of The Gods”; an Opera from the late 1800’s. The Opera itself was a German translation of the old Norse tale of Ragnarok, and the wars which ended in the cataclysmic destruction of the world. Will the track replicate such fantastical drama? Well it’s dramatic I’ll give you that much...the percussion and guitars here carry ample dark tones, with subtle synths, and the instrumentation takes more of a back seat for the dual vocals on display. Phil Lee Fall still has his well-gravelled tone that channels the likes of Nephilim, but while accompanied by the cleaner, clearer notes of Ambra Von Bernstein, gives this a more, SISTERS OF MERCY inspired flavour. Love us or hate us, we are the Goths, we don’t care. It’s a mission statement and a decent start. 

Next up we have promotional track “Black Train”...which, following on from the prior EP’s “Red Car”, makes we wonder if next time we’ll get a cover of “Yellow Submarine”? I digress. The track is more of the same, gritty, deep rumbling post-punk, utilizing all of the classic tropes of the genre, acting like a bit of a time capsule essentially. The chorus here has a simple yet effective hook, and overall it’s another fine track. Speaking of transportation, we also have “Drinking In The Car” which, listen folks, isn’t specifically drink driving, so I’ll allow it. It’s got a distinctly more, country-inspired, bluesy guitar twang to it, with the backing vocal harmonies creating an incredibly Western vibe. Is the car a saloon? Cars weren’t invented yet my friend...you may have been drinking on your horse. 

“Blame It To The Pain” then harbours a similar vibe to “Black Train” in it’s nostalgic approach and gentle chorus hooks for another album highlight, before we get into the rest of the album. Aside from a further stab at the previous EP’s title track, we get “Dia De Los Muertos” which is, of course, “Day Of The Dead” and put primary focus here on Ambra’s soft vocals for an audible departure in style. There’s more of an elegance to this track and while unexpected here, could be very well capitalized on for future releases. The title track, aka “Desperado” again blends together those early Gothic rock tendencies with semi-Western aesthetics to really hammer home the character of this bands style and sound, but at over 8-minutes long takes longer than a stare-down at high noon...which brings us to “1989”.  
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Not 
only the year I was born, but the year the film, “High Noon” was put into the first US batch of historically protected movies with cultural relevance...and the name of the worst song on this album. Don’t get me wrong, every Gothic album deserves some sort of piano ballad...on the assumption that, that album has Ville Valo on vocals. Phill here, has such a depressed , sometimes warbled baritone, it invokes near legit sadness in the listener. This is like when JOHNNY CASH performed “Hurt”...or, like, the final moments of IAN CURTIS. Even the most effrontery of emo’s will hold their emaciated limbs up to that and be like “Dude, cheer up”. 

While
 Cathedral In Flames have maintained their core sound and overall style, continuing to pay homage to the grandfathers of Goth as we know it, they’ve not been afraid to dabble a little here and there with different instrumental approaches, and it’s hasn’t fired on all cylinders for them on this occasion. I know I’m mentioning “1989” again, but that should have been given to Ambra. The Goth rock is fine where it’s been presented, but the other bits need some refining. This is really neither hung high or buried deep...more, stuck in the stocks being hit with the occasional gammy cabbage waiting for another chance. [5] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/CATHEDRALINFLAMES
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The 69 Cats - "Seven Year Itch"

4/7/2021

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I want to take a moment to talk about separation...and I know that, right away you’re thinking “Oh god, Gav is off on one of his depressing rants again, is he? Do I grab the popcorn or the Kleenex?” To be honest it depends on the type of wank you plan on having, but I digress. What we’re really here to discuss is the concept of the seven-year itch. 

In many romantic relationships and, primarily marriages, the seven-year itch is noted as the period of the relationship, where things are most likely to falter (Personally I only tend to average three). The spark is gone; the affection and excitement has fizzled out and, very many couples tend to go their separate ways.  

It’s a strange phenomenon, but one that’s been studied by the likes of the US National Centre Of Health Statistics. Beginning in the 1920’s going all the way through to the 1990’s, divorce rates averaged between 6.6 and 7.2 years across the states. It can even be found strewn throughout pop culture, notably with the movie starring MARILYN MONROE touching on the subject. 

This brings us to THE 69 CATS. I originally covered them WAY back in 2014, in the formative days of this blog, when they released the debut album “Transylvanian Tapes” with their original line-up. Now, the side-project / supergroup of sorts (Consisting still of Jyrki 69 of THE 69 EYES, but alongside rockabilly veteran Danny B. Harvey, bassist Kim Nekroman from psychobilly punks NEKROMANTIX, and drummer Rat Scabies from THE DAMNED) appropriately return seven years later, with their sophomore album “Seven Year Itch”. With that said, let's see if our relationship with these cats has run out of lives... 

The album, just like most typical relationships, begins with “She’s Hot” and before anyone jumps on my back about objectification here, chill, this is only an album review. I know what the internet is like these days. Anyway. The immediate blending of Jyrki’s baritone croons with the classic rock ‘n’ roll instrumentation; coupled with a subtle southern groove gives this an uplifting quality. The smooth guitar licks counter the tracks overall simplicity, as well as the slightly darkened lyrical twist, and the style here is very much evident early on. 

​Lead single and surprise POST MALONE cover “Hollywood’s Bleeding” follows up and it makes subtle nods to the vampiric tendencies that is the Hollywood lifestyle...it’ll suck the life out of you; eat you up and spit you out, but you’re infatuated...you’re addicted. It’s a toxic relationship with fame and fortune and this frankly very catchy track, with yet more slick six-string work, highlights Hollywood’s darker undertones. Speaking of darker tones, they continue to bridge old-school rockabilly with Jyrki’s typically more, Gothic aesthetics with tracks like “Vampire Shuffle”. There’s a quirky little play on words as they unleash “The Hell Of The Mountain King”; their take on the dramatic composition by EDVARD GRIEG, which has made me want to go to Alton Towers, while “I’m Evil” gives us a solid dose of the moody blues. Luckily not in the same vein as WILLIAM SHATNER last year. 

Overall, despite being confined within a certain genre niche, there’s enough here to appease fans of classic rock ‘n’ roll, as well as rockabilly and Jyrki’s own legion of baritone-loving vampires. More polished than their debut, and obviously not AS reliant on covers, it’s certainly worth a listen. It might have been seven years, but this reviewer still has a soft spot for these cool cats, and there’s zero intention of reaching for the divorce papers just yet...nope, no itching here, well, there is, but, that’s between me and my GP. [7] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THE69CATS
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Eurovision 2021: I'm Not 'UK' (I Promise)

30/5/2021

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As you should all be well aware by now, I have a great fondness for the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. It is a song contest the likes of which, the world has never seen the likes of which, aside from the past sixty odd years or so...but I digress. 2020 saw the contests cancellation due to the Covid pandemic; the first time in history such a thing has occurred, and though while despite still having the junior version at the tail end of the year, when lockdowns and such gradually eased up, 2020 was lacking in more than just social interaction...I didn’t get to enjoy a night of roasting the final via my Twitter feed in real time. Alas, there was always going to be 2021 right? Right? 

As expected, the 2021 contest did take place, on May 22
nd in Rotterdam, making up for last year’s unprecedented situation, by technically allowing the Netherlands to become the first nation to host two consecutive contests. Asterisk here of course. Nevertheless, all was looking promising, until I found out that one of my newest favourite bands, IST IST, were performing a socially distanced show in Manchester on the very same night! Having not been to a gig since 2019, and having not seen my good friend James in that exact same time...I committed a cardinal sin, and attended the gig with him instead of watching Eurovision. Forgive me father, or, spank me daddy, delete as applicable? Either way I’m going to make up for it. 

While we all now know the results, posthumously if you will regarding how dead in the water the UK are, I’ll be taking a look at the grand finalist's songs, and questioning both how and why the UK finished last with the dreaded nil poi...so what better place to start, than the UK’s song itself. JAMES NEWMAN was our 2021 entry with a track called “Embers”. The London based singer/songwriter has been called “James Nil-Man" following the result, but is the mockery justified? Granted it’s quite the safe track in terms of tone and delivery...it’s got a very Summery vibe with its brass-fuelled dance-pop, smoky vocals and up-beat rhythm. It’s the kind of track I’d expect to hear on Radio 1 or some random YouTube holiday advert. Is it awful? No absolutely not. Is it a musical masterpiece, a misunderstood work of genius, ahead of its time? Likewise, no, it’s a generic, run-of-the-mill dance pop effort, but should have at LEAST garnered SOME points with the average Joe...so what went wrong? 
If the UK were at the very bottom of the pile with zero points, who was at the top? The answer, is Italy this year, and slap my ass with a stale ciabatta they entered a rock song?! The group MÅNESKIN won the 2021 contest with the track “Zitti E Buoni” and to be fair it was a pleasant surprise. Sure, it was all sung in their native Italian, so I don’t know what the hell was being said, but the track had a solid groove and housed a smooth, classic rock aesthetic which was about as expected as their victory...aka...it wasn’t. I find this amusing in ways as, here in the UK, despite frankly birthing most of the world's greatest rock bands going as far back as the 60’s, rock and alternative music is generally shunned by the mainstream here in favour of the kind of disposable dance pop we entered, funnily enough. Karma perhaps? Actually, don’t get me started on the charts, pile of bollocks.  

So, we came last, and an unexpected rock song came first...not like, a LORDI level effort with all the costumes and gimmicks, but, an actual straight up rock song...but there were still a further 24 countries that finished above us, surely, we weren’t THE worst track out of all twenty-six nations? Germany’s entry JENDRIK came one place above us with “I Don’t Feel Hate” and it rather awkwardly combined ukulele with up-beat whistling and folk-pop, before some sporadic, jazzy breakdowns. While inoffensive, it was musically jarring as it switched styles and for that alone, it was IMO, worse than ours.  
Spain didn’t do a great deal better with their entry “Voy A Quedarme” by BLAS CANTÓ, and really speaking it’s one of those generic soft piano ballads that the contest has been renowned for in recent years. Totally innocuous, if I were live tweeting this after several beverages, I’d probably be saying his name translates as bland cunt but, there we go. Host nation Netherlands did fairly poorly themselves as JEANGU MACROOY only managed 23rd with his track “Birth Of A New Age” ...the soft Afro-pop / reggae-pop offering speaking of lots of rebellion probably irked several juries as it’s MEANT to be a non-political show, but we all know how true that isn’t. Different, but, better than ours? Questionable. 

What about some of the better results then? Who or what was deemed to be more favourable by both the judges and voting public? GO_A were back representing the Ukraine here following what was arguably my favourite entry from last year; “Solovey”. The new track, “Shum”, might not have the same infectious quality to it, but in a different sense it retains a very catchy, up-beat characteristic that grows over the track's duration. The folk pop, oompah-gypsy style with flutes, coupled with some deep, electronic production allows for a fascinating culture crossover, and the group themselves have grown in confidence massively. The track rises and rises in intensity building to a wonderful crescendo, leading up to some classic, mid-90's Tatanka-esque native war-cry type shit. How many chops can you do, in 2:52? That’s an ad-break questionarium for OSW! 
Having mentioned LORDI earlier, I have to mention Finland as it’s a country I always keep an eye out for, having personally voted for the likes of SAARA AALTO in recent years, and this year was no exception... had it not been for the fact I didn’t watch the live final! BLIND CHANNEL entered their track “Dark Side” and it was a wonderfully melodic nu-metal inspired effort, rich in riffs, swagger-fuelled rap-tinged vocals, gang vox and all of the middle fingers in the air. Any regular readers who like, say, HACKTIVIST or HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD would have lapped this up, fantastic stuff, this certainly would have had my vote. Adopt me Finland, please?  

​Last year's favourite, Iceland, re-entered 
DADI FREYR with the new track “10 Years” and again, another case of growth in confidence...the track this year is no less catchy or fun with its funk-rich delivery but it’s a lot smoother and really vibes, this track did understandably well for 2020’s unofficial winner. France is pretty renowned for scoring poorly, so for them to finish second this year was surprising...especially as their entry “Voila” by BARBARA PRAVI was no more than a dramatic, string/piano ballad fit for a theatrical ballet, we’re talking niche genre trappings here, but it did well. Might sell some Peugeots in the future, but, it’s not for me.  
Not even star-power can help some countries however, as FLO RIDA, of all people, joined SENHIT and San Marino of all places...they must have spent their entire GDP on his guest vocals on “Adrenalina” to finish 22nd...brilliant economic investment, you just voted for a nation to starve. Belgium then represents with a wonderfully bluesy number that references JOHHNY CASH, so credit to HOOVERPHONIC and their track “The Wrong Place”, which fittingly brings us full circle to describe the UK; we finished in the wrong place. Now don’t get me wrong, my ears and probably opinions differ from, well, clearly the millions of people who vote on the world's biggest song contest, but I’m not rallying for a pro-UK movement, or being overly patriotic in the face of defeat; I’m simply suggesting the UK didn’t deserve to come last, let alone get no points whatsoever. 

​Having not seen who gave who what points this year, I can’t comment on the usual and typical “neighbour” voting system you tend to notice, not that the contest is meant to be political as stated, and this could in ways be backed by Italy’s unexpected winning rock track. But, given the farce that was the whole Brexit vote, with the UK government essentially lying to the British public, and then continuing to make themselves look like an absolute bunch of bell ends; making demands to the EU, it’s easy to see why, when it comes to the UK, a performers talent and song quality clearly means very little. We as a nation, are looked upon as outsiders, and frankly blanked by a tight-nit European collective...and we have the government to thank for that. Was our entry ever a winning song? Doubtful, don’t get me wrong, but zero points is more of a statement to us as Brits as it is a fair reaction to our performance in Rotterdam. It might only be a silly song contest to many, but it’s got history, it’s a cultural phenomenon, and we haven’t won it since 1997...and the way things are going, we’ll be lucky to win it by 2097. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to snort some coke with that dude from Italy...allegedly.  
BUY ALL YOUR OFFICIAL EUROVISION MERCH HERE
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Recluse - "Lay Your Darkness Down With Me"

25/4/2021

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Stonehenge... Göbekli Tepe... Dot Cotton; all ancient wonders steeped in rich cultural history, going back centuries, even millennia. Or, you could just say; old as fuck. Naturally you may be wondering where I’m going with THIS segue... am I about to veer off into some, Neolithically geographical Ted Talk? Am I about to roast June Brown for pretending to run a laundrette into her 90’s knowing damn well the next spin cycle might outlive her? I jest...and I exaggerate.  

Today we’re going to be taking a fresh look at a Welsh band by the name of RECLUSE. You see, I’ve known front-man Britt several years now, and that’s where the intro to this review came from. He messaged me recently asking how things were, and that he’d like to get my thoughts on the band's newest album, seeing as I’d been part of their journey since their debut...he said that I felt at least a small part in their continued story, which to be honest was quite sweet.  

I do indeed remember championing their debut album “Crooked Heart”, but when I went to back-read my thoughts on it here for references, I realised that it actually pre-dates this entire blog! My first GTGC blog post was in 2014, yet I was playing Recluse on my old radio show back in 2011/2012! In the words of Mike Bracken; “Christ I’m Old!”. With that said, let's roll back the years and dust off the cobwebs as we check out “Lay Your Darkness Down With Me”... 

We open up with the track “Stomah”, and like any normal person, I found myself Googling the word to get some context as to what the track could mean conceptually, but the results drew more blanks than the infertile department of your local sperm bank. Naturally I ask Britt what the story was, and the reply? It’s a spelling mistake from Kurt Cobain’s journal, talking about his debilitating stomach cramps, that has nothing to do with the actual songs content itself. For fuck's sake Britt. I digress...the track itself is a fine slab of fuzzy guitar and bass that pushes and enhances his rough and ready vocals; combining the early 90’s grunge aesthetic with more stoner rock and sludge elements, and it’s a fine opener. 

Follow up track “You Get Out Alone” retains this approach with the deeper, rumbling bass complimenting the higher vocal notes. This more powerful, prominent vocal performance gives the track a far more positive energy, almost channelling the likes of SOUNDGARDEN for example, really coming to life towards the tracks climax. Album highlight “Throat” then takes things back down a notch, returning to their more stoner rock influences and there are moments here that could easily befit a QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE setlist. It’s got a solid groove and the distortion and muffling on the guitars again adds ample character; not to be mistaken for lack of production quality or recording cost-cutting...this gives the track a raw, visceral sound that works wonderfully for their stylistic delivery. This wouldn’t sound anywhere near as good too crisp or overly produced.  

“The Quiet Hours” by contrast slows things right down, to more of that sludge-heavy style for a truly moody, brooding piece of alternative rock, that wouldn’t be out of place on the soundtrack to “The Crow”, and is every as bit as enjoyable as the aforementioned, despite coming from opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of delivery. That’s just one half of the album mind you...as Recluse also indulge in several spots of prog inspired writing. “Werewolves” disappoints slightly as I was expecting some bestial savagery to rip through my speakers and maul me with an intense flurry of riffs and percussion, but it’s drawn-out instrumental intro somehow manages to bridge the likes of DEFTONES with the earliest of CKY days, before some very subdued vocals bring the expectations down even further. 

The main issues here however, come from two tracks taking up nearly thirty minutes of the album's hour and three-minute run time...and how they drag. “Olympus” being the longest of the tracks here initially starts off interestingly enough, like it’s about to veer off into some bluesy country-rock, but soon descends into an extended piece of everything we’ve heard prior, and like its name suggests, is a mountain to listen to if you're lacking in the old attention department. Closing track “Le Rose Hotel” then isn’t AS long but is arguably the weakest track on the record. Another needlessly long instrumental intro makes you wonder if they were given a target of how long the albums run-time needed to be, as this is literally nothing but pointless filler at this point. We’re over eight minutes in actually and I’ve not heard a single word...remind me to never stay here, I don’t care what offers I’m presented with on Booking.com! 

Ultimately, Recluse have proven again that when they put their mind to it, they provide some of the finest modern era grunge going, keeping those sounds of the early to mid-nineties very much alive. They’ve shown growth over their three-album career to date and continue to expand their sound, though while the lengthy prog-inspired cuts aren’t for this particular reviewer, there’s definitely an audience for it and it’s a solid recording nevertheless. [6] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/RECLUSEUK
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William Shatner - "The Blues"

6/10/2020

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Music: the final frontier. These are the voyages of GavTheGothicChav. My continuing mission, to explore strange new albums. To seek out new sounds and new genres. To boldly go where no reviewer has gone before! *Strange angelic vocal harmonies surround me while I Naruto-run around HMV* I find myself weirdly drawn to an unfamiliar section of the store...uncharted, if you will, and there it is. What I lay my eyes upon, no amount of Vulcan logic can explain...an album the likes of which, not even the fiercest Klyngon warrior would dare initiate combat...but it is my prime directive. I have to review; “The Blues” by WILLIAM SHATNER. 

Yes, William Shatner is, as you should be well aware, one of the most iconic pop-culture actors and performers to ever grace television and Hollywood. As James T. Kirk, he captained the USS Enterprise as Star Trek travelled beyond cult status, helping create a global sci-fi phenomenon still adored to this day. But while he is primarily remembered for this role, the man’s career spans seven decades, and as well as other film and tv projects, in 2020, at the age of 89...we find him releasing music. It wouldn’t be the first time; he’s released country and spoken word works in the past...but here we find him singing the blues...the question is, is this merely another entry in the captain's log, or just a steaming pile of Shatner? Let’s find out...
 


The album opens up with
“Sweet Home Chicago”, which, for a man born in Montreal is already casting suspicions. Instrumentally it’s fine it has to be said, the general rhythm and guitar tone here is textbook blues; it’s got that very distinct feel and energy and ticks all of the right blues rock boxes for about as cliched a listen as you could get, but vocally...in the words of George Takei...OH MY! Shatner has always been renowned for his off-kilter verbiage...he’s always delivered his lines in an almost disjointed manner while acting...but he does it singing too. It just sounds strange! Perhaps the blues allows for this as, like jazz, you just go where the mood and music takes you, but it still makes for a peculiar listen. 

Let’s be honest here Shatner is no singer and this album was never going to amaze anyone with his vocal prowess, especially at 89, but we’ll sift through some positives.
“Sunshine Of Your Love” and “Born Under A Bad Sign” showcase some of the albums more favourable performances...the guitars on the former allow for a darker, more brooding delivery. Lyrically I guess it’s a sweet love song as the title suggests but somehow Shatner makes it sound anything BUT consensual, which in it’s own ways is as funny as it is creepy. The latter then sounds like it could come straight out of a movie scene in some down-and-out roadhouse, but instead of starring someone cool like Patrick Swayze, it would be like, Rob Schneider or something. 

​CANNED HEAT
classic “Let’s Work Together” gets a showing and again, instrumentally it’s fine but Shatner sounds more like a motivational speaker or, site manager on a tight deadline as opposed to a singer, while his cover of “I Put A Spell On You” is, frankly remarkable. It’s a song that’s been covered multiple times over the years, but, credit to him, Shatner still manages to put a unique spin on it, only reinforced by the accompanying animated video which, I will let you just experience for yourself below. That right there really, I suppose is the best way to summarise this album...it’s not something you can simply listen to, it’s something you really just have to experience. As I said musically and instrumentally, it’s fine, he’s got some quality musicians driving this album, luckily, but vocally he’s got as much talent as a dead Tribble. With that said...the end of the album please Mr. Sulu...warp 9, that’s an order. [1] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/WILLIAMSHATNER
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Danzig - "Sings Elvis"

1/9/2020

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ELVIS PRESLEY...the rightful king of rock ‘n’ roll, who...rather appropriately died on his throne of porcelain back in 1977. OK that maybe slightly fabricated but he WAS found dead in his bathroom (The shitting is purely speculation). Nevertheless. Elvis was and still is not only a Bonafide pop-culture icon, but inspiration to so many people from all walks of life. Ranging from Elvis look-alike contests and conventions, to his appearance being gimmicked by the WWF in the 80’s for the Honky Tonk Man...to being parodied by UK comedy “Father Ted” in the 90’s (The 3 stages of Elvis will always be funny). 

But what about a strictly musical level? Let’s face it, if it weren’t for his success, we’d perhaps not have anyone ranging from 
CHUCK BERRY to THE BEATLES...and without them? The sheer level of butterfly effect is barely comprehendible! But, let’s not fall into any genre trappings here, let’s put to one side the general evolution of rock ‘n’ roll and focus on Elvis’ himself for now. He was very distinct for his almost baritone crooning and vocal drawl as much as he was for his hip-swinging swagger. Artists from all walks of life emulate him to a degree, take Jyrki from THE 69 EYES for example: he very much channels a gothic Elvis vibe for THE 69 CATS side-project and it works rather well. However, a name I wasn’t really expecting...was DANZIG. Yes, the original vocalist of pioneering horror-punks THE MISFITS and Sigourney Weaver’s long-lost steroidal twin has this year released his OWN album of select Elvis covers via CLEOPATRA RECORDS, talk about a fucking hybrid moment! With that said, this suspicious mind needs to check this out... 

Now I’ll preface this by stating that I myself am not a massive Elvis fan, and most of the songs I 
DO know of, aren’t here which is incredibly helpful in the most sarcastic sense possible....so what DO I know? Let’s start with the single “Always On My Mind”...a classic you’ll all agree? Well to be fair here, he stays true to the slow-jam, sombre piano ballad and vocally does his best to retain the original sentiment of the track, delivering a somewhat morose, emotional croon, albeit a touch more gravelled. This isn’t some harsh punk-goth project...he’s actually, seemingly taking this rather seriously. Whether that’s a good thing remains to be seen. Additional single “One Night” which had its initial success in 1957 gets similar treatment here...the tempo remains the same generally and he does his best to honour the kings crooning, but we have more prominent, grittier guitar fuelling the track instead of the classic, now innocent sense of early rock ‘n’ roll. 

Another classic track 
“Fever” (Although one of many that aren’t necessarily Elvis originals) has been covered countless times. Ranging from PEGGY LEE to MICHAEL BUBLE, the tracks always had a certain, sultry mystique. The minimalist yet captivating lounge jazz piece is again here done traditionally and is arguably the albums highlight. Another would be the cover of ARTHUR GUNTER’s “Baby Let’s Play House” and here we at least have more of that original up-beat greaser-gang rockabilly vibe and it’s a fun little inclusion. The rest of the album, sadly, drags more than a slug's knackers.  

Glenn Danzig may very well be a huge fan of Elvis and other classic artists such as THE DOORS for example, and by all means he has every right to express that adoration via a respectful cover's album, but not everyone IS a big a fan of Elvis as he is, and the die-hard ones are likely to give this about as much attention as Elvis did his dietitian. Sure, the deeper cuts show you know your stuff and you may want to be highlighting certain favourites, but a larger audience could have possibly found more enjoyment and appreciation in more of the well-known hits. Your target audience is fucking niche at best already mate! The thought was there, as was the passion, but this was ironically, a miss-fit. Glenn...please listen...and if I may paraphrase; a little less covering Elvis and a little more punk rock please. [2] 

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/DANZIG
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Mirror Point - "Shine On"

31/5/2020

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It’s strange how certain things just stick with you as you grow up…for example, let’s say…North Carolina. Random, I know, like, I’ve never been there, I don’t have any family there, but embedded in my brain, is the fact that despite being born in Tennessee, Ric Flair comes from Charlotte, North Carolina (It’s a kayfabe thing). With that in mind, when a band slides into your email submissions stating that they too are from North Carolina, you instantly find yourself shouting “WOOOOO!” and knife-edge chopping everything in close proximity. (Excuse any following typo’s as I write this with a broken hand)

The band in question, are MIRROR POINT, who hail from Sanford and Cedar Creek, NC and consist of members Marc Killian, Travis Jones and Sketchy J. They recently got in touch with me asking me to check out their debut album “Shine On” which was released earlier this year through Mokovo Records. With an apparent variety of stylistic influences, let’s see if Mirror Point can mirror The Nature Boy, and be the limousine-ridin’, jet-flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin-dealin’ sons of  guns I personally hope they are.

​The mini-album opens up with “Winner Takes All” and we’re immediately met with some back-to-basics riffs and the typically clean yet, slightly bourbon coated vocals that make up your classic blues rock songbooks. It plods along really quite casually, quite middle of the road really before eventually picking up in intensity, exuding a more passionate instrumental display towards the tracks climax. It takes a minute or two to warm up but it gets there in the end. Not deserving of any winners medals, but it doesn’t come last either…it’s just taking part really. Next up we have a track called “PhenoBarbieDoll” and it’s one of their local radio successes. Another melodic, hard rocking blues-based number, it’s aimed at the trappings and troubles caused by social media; the anxiety it can give you trying to keep up appearances, the expectations of maintaining your plastic lifestyle, the fear of failure and the longing for fame. It’s quite a socially relevant track that has its points, but let’s not beat around the bush here the title is terrible. “PhenoBarbieDoll” sounds like a rip off, of a SyFy rip-off, of a straight to DVD Asylum rip-off of a low-budget “Annabelle” rip-off. We actually ran out of barrel to scrape…

​Looking further into some of their outside influences however, we get to another local radio success by the name of “Is This Was This”…I mean, if this WAS is and is was it wasn’t isn’t it? I thought so. A Latin/Hispanic fuelled little love song with clear yet subtle funk elements, and a certain Mediterranean flare, but plays on regrets, second guesses, absence an emotional confusion, touching upon PTSD, yet delivered in a predominantly light hearted manner. “Just Push Play” continues with the genre experimentation courtesy of a genuinely interesting combination of soulful 70’s funk, lounge jazz and modern hip-hop with a completely out of the blue rap-breakdown. The contrast manages to work without sounding jarring or like the world’s worst Nu Metal band, and that competition is TIGHT, so credit to them there.

The remainder of the record primarily consists of more, textbook blues-based hard rock which does have its moments of instrumental appeal, but sadly does become pretty generic over the course of the album, that IS only seven tracks long remember. Sure they dabbled in a few genres to spice things up but on a scale of black pepper to Bhut jolokia, that spice is toothpaste. Collectively, “Shine On” is harmless enough and you can appreciate it’s basic blues rock appeal, I mean they’re on the radio back home so they’re climbing that ladder, and there is an audience for blues based hard rock, I mean look at BLACK STONE CHERRY…it’s do-able, just on this instance, “Shine On” isn’t even as bright as one of Ric Flair’s bejewelled robes, let alone the 16-time world champion himself. To be the man, you gotta beat the man…Mirror Point have not beaten the man. Mirror Point are more like David Flair than Ric at this point. [5]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/MIRRORPOINTBAND
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Unlucky Dip (19/05/2020)

19/5/2020

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I get A LOT of emails, not as many as big publications obviously, but for me, I get a lot, and I literally can’t keep up with them all. This means I either take virtually forever getting around to some reviews, resulting in the peak promotion period usually having been and gone, for that I do apologise. Sometimes I forget about submissions entirely, for which I also apologise, and a lot of the time, I’m sent singles. Now, this blog has been running since 2014 and 99% of the content here, bar the odd rare article, is comprised of EP and album reviews. I’ve nothing against the humble single, I miss the days of picking up CD singles in Woolworths wondering what B-Sides you’d be treated to…but writing a full review for just A single is something I’ve always personally deemed a bit of a ball ache.

Going forward, I am going to try to, once a week (The key word being try here, I’m making no promises) present a general collection of single submissions from my inbox in one article, to try and ensure I don’t miss out on potential gems, and more importantly, to also clear some space in my inbox (At this time of writing I have around 650 unread emails…LOL). With that in mind, here are seven randomly selected tracks that I have been sent, that I would like to share with you, in the first GTGC Unlucky Dip; the result of combining Speed Dating with the heartfelt Comedy Roast.

Heavyman - "Baby Jean"

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We're going to kick this feature off with a 4-piece from London by the name of HEAVYMAN. Comprising of vocalist/guitarist Charlie Yang, drummer Tom Papaloizou (I'm pretty sure he was in "The League Of Gentlemen"?) bassist Igor Fonseca and lead guitarist Nick Burns, they recently got in touch, stating that were fans of the blog and were themselves fueled by alcohol and sarcasm, asking me to check out their debut single "Baby Jean". How could I possible refuse?

Initially sounding like something you'd hear from early TURBONEGRO, it soon transitions into a more methodical, groove-rich slow jam of a southern blues rock effort. It covers all the bases with some slick guitar work and vocal swagger for some textbook classic blues rock. With more tracks scheduled to be released over the coming months, these are ones to watch.

Rory K - "Heat Thru Your Body"

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"Now this is a story all about how my life got, at most, mildly inconvenienced, but I'd like to take a minute just to share this my friend, and talk about this new single by The Fresh Prince Of Bellend".

You know all the meme's with "Now listen here you little shit..."? Well that's essentially me right now with RORY K. A native of downtown Manhattan, New York, Rory was born into a musical family, with his dad having been in the late 80's socio-political rock group BLACK 47. So imagine his dad's disappointment to see Rory here peddling some of the most uninspired, cringe-worthy rap/hip-hop an eleventeen-year-old would perform, on the track "Heat Thru Your Body"...I bet he finds vanilla spicy.

From the intro that sounds like seagulls having a stroke, to the combination of abysmal lyrics and self-indulgent vocals...and the embarrassing video, it's just...no. The bit where Rory is, (I'll use this term loosely) "performing" in front of some street graffiti, why are you holding a mic? You look like an absolute tit mate. And you emailed me three times for this? Assuming I hadn't replied because I couldn't stop dancing to the track? I would sooner invite my enemies to dance upon my grave than dance to this myself. And it's through*...for the record. I'm beginning to regret this new feature already...

Deejay Centipede - "Twerk It Out"

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I honestly don't know why I get sent this stuff...I'm not against rap and however many hip-hop subcultures there actually are, but it is SO rare I find any that I genuinely like. I can appreciate a flow, or a beat, sure, but there is too much recycled rap out there full of cliches about money, bitches, drugs and ho's and quite frankly I don't care about any of it.

"Twerk It Out" is the new track from Cleveland Ohio based hio-hop veteran DEEJAY CENTIPEDE, who has been spinning records since the 80's, and it features Sonny Vajra and Tee Hova...which...means absolutely nothing to me. It's got a certain 90's vibe going on which I guess you could describe as "fresh", with some soft synths poorly underlying some genuinely irritating clapping percussion. A lot of autotune going on in the vocals, and I can't lie, outside of this blog, I wouldn't listen to this...I'd rather be in the middle of a Human Centipede truth be told, but that's just me. As of now I'm outlawing Twerking on GTGC. 

Mother's Cake - "Toxic Brother"

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Austrian psychedelic rock trio MOTHER'S CAKE (Consisting of lead vocalist/guitarist Yves Krismer, bassist Benedikt Trenkwalder and drummer/backing vocalist Jan Haussels) are set to release their new album sometime in the Autumn of 2020, and tease interesting things to come with their latest single "Toxic Brother".

The onslaught of fuzzy guitars and echoed vocals, delivered among a frenetic, up-tempo barrage of stoner sludge-punk is as fun as it is exciting; the energy is real here and it'll easily appeal to fans of say, EXIT_INTERNATIONAL. The gradual fade-out of the track counters the increasing levels of insanity as you can hear the mental breakdown as it happens...this is a solid track.

Smiling Assassin - "National Pride"

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Returning to the UK now and more specifically; Hull, and we have a four-piece hardcore punk outfit by the name of SMILING ASSASSIN. Consisting of vocalist George Garnett, drummer Robbie Johnson, guitarist Josh Rogerson and bassist Casey Stead, they were forwarded to me by the wonderful folk over at Rage PR.

The new socio-political single "National Pride" is taken off the forthcoming album "Plight Of The Millennial" which is penciled for release on May 31st, and it combines all the vitriolic aggression of hardcore punk with the instrumental impatience of trash metal, easily taking influence from the likes of THE EXPLOITED or MUNICIPAL WASTE. It's an intense listen and suggests that the new album is going to be an absolute scorcher.

Hayden Brenen - "Mi Carino (feat. L.D.N.)"

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Now I'll start off by saying this...on initial listen, it's not as annoying as "Despacito"...but I'm not ruling it out overtime. It's another one of this Latino-inspired R'n'B/rap offerings that's meant to sound all smooth and sexy in the club, but I'd rather just sit in the corner with a warm bottle of Bacardi squeezing fresh lime directly into my eyeballs. 

L.D.N's contribution is fine and his rapping isn't bad, probably the most enjoyable aspect of this track in all fairness, but that doesn't really say much. Also, Mi Carino means My Sweety...creepy much. Your Nan singing this is she mate? Bomboclaat don't say shit like sweety fam ya get me? Real talk blud. I just lost the plot, literally watched it run off...

Calling All Astronauts - "Welcome To The Black Bloc"

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We round off this selection of tracks by coming full circle back to London, to find CALLING ALL ASTRONAUTS an their newest single "Welcome To The Black Bloc". The trio (Consisting of vocalist/programmer David B, guitarist JJ and bassist Paul "Buzzsaw McCrudden) mix elements of punk rock attitude and an electronic, almost light industrial tone for their sound, bridging the likes of PITCHSHIFTER, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE and MINISTRY for a no-nonsense blast of socio-political neo-dystopian noise.

The single is officially released on May 29th, with the new album, entitled "#Resist" dropping shortly after on June 5th, via Supersonic Media which I'm sure is going to an incredibly charged listen.

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ROCKDOWN: A Fuel Rock Club Benefit Compilatoin

3/4/2020

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This isn’t a review as such…but more of a call to arms if you will. Now, while I’ve touched on the current Coronavirus pandemic in recent reviews in a predominantly light-hearted manner, or at least trying to make light of the situation to maybe try to boost morale, it is in so many aspects in fact, a VERY serious situation. Businesses are shutting down, people are losing their jobs, people are losing their means to support their families, hell; people are fucking DYING! In such a time of need for many in an age of advanced communication and technology, some of us have never felt so far apart and, given the unprecedented nature of this global pandemic, it’s a hard realisation.

While the government (Here in the UK at least) is doing what it can to help certain businesses cover expenses while the country is on lock down, not everyone is fortunate enough to benefit from such subsidies and this is where both you and your local music venues come in. Small and independent venues have had a hard enough time over the last couple of years as it is, with several having to close doors up and down the country for financial reasons, or for dodgy housing development projects etc, so the last thing they need is a forced closure due to some Asian-ass virus because some dude in China did an Ozzy Osbourne with an infected bat.

I can’t say with certainty that your local venue is doing the same right now (Though if they are I urge you to support in any which way you can) but FUEL ROCK CLUB in Cardiff is one of the clubs that would be incredibly grateful for your support.  The award winning bar/venue situated in Womanby Street in the Welsh capital naturally relies on its punters and gig goers to pay the bills and the wages…but under forced closure, they face difficult times. Luckily, while we may not be currently able to attend the club in person, we can still help and support the club during this testing time, thanks to a new compilation album.

XIII PROMOTIONS
based out of Cardiff have reached out to 30 bands and artists who have played, performed or promoted at the club, to piece together a 30-track compilation entitled “Rock Down: A Fuel Rock Club Benefit Compilation”. Available on Bandcamp as a digital download for £7.50, all proceeds raised will go towards ensuring the club doesn’t fall onto harder times that it’s already been put under, by contributing to venue upkeep etc while they have no custom. It’s a hell of an eclectic compilation, ranging from black and death metal, to punk, post-rock, blues, funk and even electronica, showcasing a plethora of genres represented by multiple scenes, who all support Fuel.  The link to Fuel’s Facebook is below, so if you can, go and buy some Fuel merch through their official channels, and the bandcamp link is also included. My personal favourites include tracks by GLASS HEART and BONDAGE FAIRIES…but there’s literally something for everyone here. Go check it out, it’s for a wholesome cause.

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/FUELCARDIFF
WWW.XIIIPROMOTIONS.BANDCAMP.COM/RELEASES
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GTGC 2019: A Year In Review

30/12/2019

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2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 EP's Of 2019

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 Pop Albums Of 2019

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

GavTheGothicChav; Top 20 Metal Albums Of 2019

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

GavTheGothicChav: The Best Of 2019

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5
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Forever Vendetta - "New Day Rising"

10/11/2019

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It’s a new day! Yes it is! Ok, alright, before I get issued with a cease and desist by WWE…no, Kofi Kingston isn’t about to come out with his New Day team-mates to bitch slap you with a tray of pancakes, but it does provide me with an ample segue into this next review; let’s talk about  FOREVER VENDETTA.

Kofi Kingston emerged as a bright up and coming talent in WWE through the mid to late 00’s, and though while a solid worker, he never truly reached the heady heights of being WWE Champion and never attained main event level status…that was until 2019 when he was finally given a well-deserved push and a fantastic WrestleMania ‘Moment’ on April 7th.

Forever Vendetta have (Albeit on a smaller scale) mirrored that to a degree. From as far back as 2008 you may have seen them share the stage with the likes of HARDCORE SUPERSTAR and LA GUNS, though while promising upstarts, the Swansea based quartet (Now consisting of guitarist Leigh Fuge, bassist Liam Alonzi, vocalist/guitarist Chris Tippett and drummer Gareth Hunt) always remained in that lower to mid-card status in the South Wales music scene. Recently however the Welsh rockers have returned after a brief hiatus with their long-awaited debut album “New Day Rising”…and all of a sudden my analogy makes sense. Will this give Forever Vendetta the push they need to hit the big time? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “Unbreakable” and what we have is essentially a drawn out introductory piece. Purely instrumental; it flows through your speakers with a subtle mixture of emotions, blending a sense of sadness and, almost apathy…however that’s juxtaposed with a reassuring feeling of hope and defiance in the face of struggle. In just two minutes of soulful guitar playing they’ve already managed to convey a message of redemption; they’re back and shits about to go down. It’s wonderfully structured this, a strong start.

First track proper then, “Come Alive” immediately transitions into a deep, bass-heavy rumbling, before the band kick into gear with their blend of hard southern-inspired blues rock. The chorus carries with it a decent melody and the influence of bands such as BLACK STONE CHERRY is fairly clear here. The riffs are solid and the solo is both slick and impassioned…credit to them they’ve absolutely nailed the sound in regards to this genre. “Takin’ It Back” initially gives of a subtle nod to the likes of VELVET REVOLVER before falling into a similar song structure, though the solo is, again, enjoyable and the track overall is a touch grittier.

Elsewhere the likes of “Snake Oil Saviour” and “Not Your Hero” provide more of the same, enjoyable blues-based hard rock, with the band primarily sticking to their formula and knowing their strengths in delivering riff after riff, with well executed guitar play…but here we have to sadly point out the albums only real flaw; the vocals. Chris is clearly passionate about his craft, there’s no denying that and credit to him he’s giving this 110%, but there are too many occasions throughout this record where despite his efforts, he comes across as simply not capable of delivering the notes he’s aiming for. On “Easy Way Out” for example, his voice really isn’t powerful enough to stamp authority on the tracks chorus, as he comes across as strained, almost forced and it sadly sounds off…there’s something that just doesn’t click and it makes you wince truthfully. “Roll It On Back” gives off the impression it’s more of a demo with raw vocal recording, while “Don’t” comes across as a scrapped BON JOVI B-Side track.

Overall, instrumentally this album is undeniably superb, and kudos to the guys for their efforts here; this is some top-notch blues rock ‘n’ roll…it’s just a shame vocally things aren’t quite on par. They haven’t quite emulated Kofi Kingston's trajectory  just yet, but there’s a lot of potential for them to do so. It’s a new day, yes it is…but it’s more of a Monday morning than a Saturday morning if you catch my drift. [6]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/FOREVERVENDETTABANDUK
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Heavy Flames - "Bolt On The Rust"

20/10/2019

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Now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales about us Welsh…stories about non-licet liaisons with animals of a woollen nature (For the record, Velcro gloves work wonders, though you didn’t hear that from me) but it’s not ALL about sheep shagging, let me tell you! Yes aside from our preferred bestial pastimes we do occasionally dabble in a spot of rock ‘n’ roll and as I’ve stated before, South Wales is a hotbed of up-and-coming bands and musicians. Now while a lot of attention is heaped on the Cardiff area because of its bustling live venues, we can’t forget about the rest of Wales, and today we’re taking a little trip up the valleys to a town called Aberdare for our next band; HEAVY FLAMES.

Comprising of vocalist David Hill, guitarists Lee Harvey and Ryan Lewis, bassist Gareth Owen and drummer Richard Boggis, the outfit are all about the old-school; opting to ignore what’s happening in the world of modern music, to play in their preferred style of classic blues-inspired rock ‘n’ roll…and they’ve showcased this on their debut full length album; “Bolt On The Rust”. The question is does this pile of rust belong on the scrapheap?

The album opens up with “Clearly Not A Welcome Rain” and it utilises the gradual build really quite well…we’re subject to a simplistic looped guitar sequence, blending in to some subtle percussion, as David wraps his vocals around proceedings before the track eventually erupts into a barrage of harmonica-fuelled rock. It’s bold as it is brash instrumentally, the southern blues tones giving this track some real swagger when it gets going and it’s an enjoyable start this.

The rock ‘n’ roll keeps on coming through album highlights such as “Nature Of The Beast” too…another initially low-key start but it quickly comes to life with some rich organ-eqsue synths akin to the likes of THE DOORS or even DEEP PURPLE in places; really embracing that early hard rock transitional period…not quite metal yet but the exploration into the weight and delivery of the instrumentation is all there. “Acre Of Graves” hammers this home brilliantly with its meatier riffs and almost polyrhythmic percussion, allowing for subtle prog aesthetics. The tone of the track here is a touch darker, incorporating more of a BLACK SABBATH vibe while still retaining their aforementioned synth-driven core sound and it’s a solid track.

There are a couple of lesser moments scattered around the album though, “Insult To The Brain” is more of an insult to my eardrums in all honesty, mainly because of that fucking guitar loop that makes your eye twitch. ‘Duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duh’ it goes over, and over, and over, and over, and over…the chorus provides a brief respite, but it comes back and the repetition of this specific chord sequence just drives you mad. Maybe it’s just me but this makes me want to cause physical harm to the brain of whoever decided to record this particular track, not just insult it. “House Full Of Women” suffers from a similar problem although the riff here is quirkier and the track is generally grittier overall, salvaging it somewhat.

Generally speaking though those are minor irritants more than anything and don’t really take away from the album as a whole…the recording quality and sound that they’ve gone for clearly harks back to those classic days in the 70’s with the bluegrass-inspired tones, with the band managing to retain that certain rawness in their production. Younger fans of rock and metal may view this as old-fashioned or, maybe even uncool, but if you appreciate the nostalgia of those formative years in rock ‘n’ roll’s evolution then you’ll likely appreciate this a lot more. Not quite niche per se, but it certainly has more of a target audience in mind. [5]

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/HEAVYFLAMES
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Bruce Springsteen - "Western Stars"

18/7/2019

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IT’S BOSS TIME!!!!! No, don’t worry, my name isn’t Michael Cole and I’m not about to run commentary on WWE’s Sasha Banks (Though in hindsight that may have been a little more entertaining to be honest)…but we are of course going to be focusing our attention on the boss himself; Mr BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. The man needs little to no introduction; one of the most successful recording artists of all time, Springsteen’s career spans decades and he has the hits and accolades to show for it. EVERYONE knows classics such as 1975’s “Born To Run”, even up to his critically acclaimed track “The Wrestler” in 2009, but now, ten years later in 2019, at the sprightly age of 69 we find The Boss still churning out records…

Not taking into account his plethora of live recordings and EP’s, Springsteen recently released his nineteenth studio album entitled “Western Stars”. A return to his solo recording style, firmly based around story-telling with orchestral arrangements, and in this instance, inspired by 70’s Californian pop music. With a rich range of themes based on American tropes such as lonely highways, and the feelings of isolation travelling vast desert spaces through the US, let’s check it out and see if this bona fide western star can still shine so far into his career...

​We open up with “Hitch Hikin’” and let it be said in advance that, the name sums up the journey through this album really quite appropriately; a seemingly endless wait for something to come and pick you up with no real guarantees. With its softly plucked acoustic yet, tinny guitar, it’s got an almost southern blue-grass aesthetic filtering in ever so slightly, before an elegant, sweeping string section gives the track more instrumental depth. Everything is soothing but here Springsteen’s voice comes across as occasionally monotonous. While a lot of this record is generally stripped back and mellow, there are a couple of points of interest worth highlighting…lead single “Hello Sunshine”  houses a tranquil, almost tropical guitar tone while more delicate strings meander through your ears. Despite its down-tempo approach and low-key vibe it’s still a positive little song and you can’t help but feel relaxed having listened to it.

“Sundown”
despite its livelier tone, incorporating subtle blues elements and a more powerful vocal performance tells a sad tale of solitude and loneliness, spending the nights alone drifting from bar to bar, missing the one he holds dearest in his heart. The real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Sleepy Joe’s Café”…far more up-beat and jovial, it’s anything but sleepy as it utilises an old-school rock ‘n’ roll feel, coupled with organs and a brass accompaniment ; it’s a genuinely fun, light-hearted little track. Sadly, the rest of the album, despite Springsteen’s narrative and penchant for story-telling within his songs, comes across as a tad lifeless for the most part.

“Drive Fast (The Stuntman)”
for example, despite admittedly being composed beautifully, exudes nowhere near the level of energy you’d expect given its name, leaving you somewhat disappointed. You hope for something zestful, something bold and boisterous, yet it’s everything but. “Chasin’ Wild Horses” suffers from the same issues; the title portrays something maybe a touch chaotic, but honestly he couldn’t catch a bloody cold here let alone a wild horse, before luckily, we eventually finish up at “Moonlight Motel”. Given the general pacing of the album overall, it’s both fitting from the point of the albums narrative, and ironic as having listened to the album from start to finish, you could do with putting your head down for a couple of hours. Springsteen can obviously still weave wonderful stories and concepts into his song writing, and musically there’s nothing really wrong with these tracks at all, the orchestral elements especially sound lovely, but it’s a very restrained record that struggles to warrant many repeat listens. If you prefer your music to be more easy-listening then sure you may enjoy this a lot more, but on this occasion it would appear that the boss has taken some annual leave…[4]

WWW.BRUCESPRINGSTEEN.NET
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Hawthorn Avenue - "Wildfire" EP

18/6/2019

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“I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do…and for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'” – Bob Newhart. All jokes aside, country music isn’t something we hear a lot of in the UK, and by a lot of I mean, virtually any; it’s just not a thing. We’ve got plenty of talented singer/songwriters, but country music to us is a very American thing…a very, cowboy hat wearing, moonshine drinking, horse-riding, rootin’ tootin’ arguably inbred (If you’re down South at least) American thing.

That’s not to say that it’s all bad however, no sirree, as I’m sure everyone can agree that the likes of JOHNNY CASH and TAMMY WYNETTE are iconic performers, and they, like so many others helped take country music off of the front porch into packed out concert halls across the states. Although, while the UK doesn’t have a flourishing country scene, we do have artists that take influence from the genre and that leads us into today’s review; let me introduce you to HAWTHORN AVENUE.

The duo from Neath (Consisting of Marcus Gumms and Laura Benjamin) initially met in 2015 while both playing the South Wales live circuit and immediately gravitated toward each other creatively, starting out at jam nights where they found their feet in terms of collaborating. Laura, a multi-instrumentalist grew up loving music from a young age and looks up to the likes of TAYLOR SWIFT and CARRIE UNDERWOOD, while Marcus admits he just saw some guy on Stars In Their Eyes doing Johnny Cash and thought to himself ‘That’s what I’m going to do’…and he did! The duo have recently released their debut EP entitled “Wildfire” and have asked me to check it out…I guess it’s time to saddle up…

The EP opens up with “Raised Me Better” and it combines subtle organ notes with soft country blues and a crisp pop aesthetic…with its vocal harmonies, powerful key-changes yet an easy-listening approach, it delivers a wonderfully smooth, simplistic country-pop number. Hick-pop if you will. The songs message of restraint and composure allows for a positive outlook and sets a good example; be the better person, and it’s really quite lovely; a good start this. “Fade Away” strips things right back to a gently plucked acoustic-driven piece with subtle nods to a Native American woodwind influence. It’s a hushed, mellow little track with an emotive delivery, though picks up ever so slightly over time, incorporating more electric guitar and growing in volume and intensity, yet manages to stay restrained.

“The Water’s Edge”
follows in the same vein with another sombre country ballad; with its sweet, delicate acoustics and silky vocal harmonies…it’s a quaint little track but out of the four presented here, it’s arguably the weakest of the bunch, though you can appreciate its tenderness. We do however finish on a strong note and the EP’s title track is a clear EP highlight in every sense of the term. “Wildfire” returns to a more up-beat presentation blending their love of country stylistics with a more modern indie-pop tone and the resulting track is full of sass, swagger and rhythm. The tinny guitar, dual vocal harmonies and a fantastically hook-laden, melodic chorus means this song is impossible to not enjoy, and it bookends this EP perfectly. Country may not be all too lucrative within the UK market, but here Hawthorn Avenue prove that you can utilise that distinct country style to great effect when blended in with a more modern, pop-oriented sound. After listening to this, I really hope this wildfire spreads…god that sounds terrible doesn’t it…[8]

SPECIAL OFFER
: Hawthorn Avenue will be playing a live show on August 14th at CLWB IFOR BACH in Cardiff, and if you want to catch them live, order your ticket from the link below, using the special link below, with the promotional code GAVIN10 and you’ll save yourself 10% on the ticket price! What are you waiting for!

APPLY GAVIN10 TO GET 10% OFF YOUR TICKET HERE
WWW.HAWTHORN-AVENUE.COM
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Buckcherry - "Warpaint"

15/6/2019

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So I’ve got this confession to make…no I’m not coming out as a heterosexual white male that uses an online platform to give a personal opinion why; that would be career suicide! I jest…my confession is with regards to my approach to music. Sure, whether it’s here or for other publications, my reviews are always from an open-minded, honest perspective, trying to take into account more than just my own personal preferences for whichever artist I may be dealing with…but it doesn’t stop me having those personal preferences. For instance, I’ll go on record now for saying that, in my opinion, NIRVANA are a pile of shit…many would disagree, Courtney Love might try to set me up on a date with a Remington Model-11 for saying such a thing, but while I CAN admit they are an incredibly important and influential band in the evolution of alternative music…I just don’t like them.

This brings me to today’s band; BUCKCHERRY. The Californian rockers have been going for quite some time now and, I first heard of them back in 2001 when I discovered a track called “Slammin’”. It was a great, rock ‘n’ roll track and even though I was more concerned about Nu Metal at the time, I still enjoyed it for what it was. Fast forward a couple of years however, and I’m reintroduced to Buckcherry, as we come to arguably one of the worst successful rock songs ever recorded; “Crazy Bitch”. Seriously this song is 100% cringe in every conceivable way…everyone gives NICKELBACK a hard time when this fucking song exists, what are we doing like?! It’s AWFUL. Anyway needless to say, I was put off Buckcherry…I can’t be dealing with that, nope, no Sir, no thank you. BUT, in the interest of equality (And the fact that you chose them on my last readers choice poll you evil bunch of bastards) I’m going to give them another chance…earlier this year they released album number eight; “Warpaint”, and I’m on the front line prepared to do battle…come at me brah!

The album opens up with the title track and to be perfectly honest; it’s really not bad. It keeps things nice and simple to be fair, incorporating blues-based hard rock with a southern groove and some sleek guitar licks. The solo blends in well allowing the track to flow really smoothly without sounding jarring, it’s not been thrown in the mix ‘just because’ like some solo’s, actually adding to the track, and Josh Todd’s vocals while still distinct, are a touch subdued here, giving off a mellower vibe. It’s actually a decent little opener. If you do prefer mellow, “Right Now” initially has you covered as it continues with the light blues rock inspired guitar tone but strips back to a more acoustic-based delivery, although the chorus is far livelier and, remember what I said about solo’s? Yep…this one came out of nowhere quicker than you can say Randy Orton, and the song can’t seem to decide what it wants to be.

Let’s try and remain objectively positive though shall we and look at the highlights…”No Regrets” is a quirky little up-beat punk-rock inspired piece; it’s fun, it’s light-hearted and you can’t not enjoy this…from the clap-along segments, the tinny, rockabilly guitar stylistics and general skater-rock vibe, it’s just a happy track and at under 3-minutes, it’s an easy highlight. Closing track “The Devil’s In The Details” remains up-beat but returns to a more straightforward hard rocking / classic rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic with a fine riff carrying the track. “The Vacuum” raises a chuckle from me to be honest as in a funny twist of irony, it doesn’t completely suck. The riffs are solid and there’s an enjoyable melody layered throughout the track, resulting in quite an emotive listen, especially with Josh again holding back vocally, but the real highlight and frankly surprising inclusion here is a cover of NINE INCH NAILS classic “Head Like A Hole”.  Granted it’s not the same seething, industrial behemoth crafted by the vitriolic Trent Reznor, but the bass-heavy riffs still sound powerful here and it’s a great choice of cover; it’s a quality track to be fair and it’s done justice.  Is it as good as MILEY CYRUS’ cover on Black Mirror though?  I’ll let you reach your own conclusions there…

The rest of the album simply plods along really quite anonymously to be perfectly honest. “Radio Song” is a clichéd little acoustic piece with rich string-sections clearly aimed at finding commercial airplay while being both incredibly self-aware and  taking a subtle swipe at the mainstream, while “The Alarm” isn’t going to be waking anyone up in a hurry. Its’ slow pace and generally lethargic instrumentation makes for a predominantly boring listen, while Josh’s vocals come across as too much for the pace of the track at times, he’s shouting over it almost and it’s a bit off. Overall though I have to admit, it’s not a terrible album, not by any means…”Crazy Bitch” was quite a while ago now and I can’t hold on to these grudges forever, and while I do still hate that song with a burning passion, this album is fine, they seemed to have calmed down a bit, which I’m all for. I mean, just think, Josh Todd could have done something ridiculous like, release a god-awful, embarrassing rap-rock/dub album, undoing any and all regained credibility I’ve just found in the band, couldn’t he! Wait…what? Who are SPRAYGUN WAR? Oh for fuck’s sake…[6]

WWW.BUCKCHERRY.COM
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The King's Parade - "Mad" EP

11/4/2019

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If there’s one thing that can help you invest interest in something, whether it’s to do with a movie, or a character, or in this case a band; it’s an interesting back story...and few back stories are as intriguing as the formation of THE KING’S PARADE. If you cast your mind back to 2017 you may remember I’ve already covered the English 4-piece (Still consisting of Olly Corpe, Sam Rooney, Tom English and Chris Brent) when they released their “Haze” EP, where I discovered they’d actually formed on a cruise ship around Hawaii…

Yep…no cheap rented rehearsal rooms or jam sessions in your mates garage for this lot, they used to play shows aboard the ship as a means of practicing and tightening as a band, honing their craft as they travelled; not technically on the road per se but it’s one way I guess to get that vital stage experience, and it’s far more glamorous than playing to 3 people down the local pub! The EP itself (While not their debut) was a fine sample of soulful indie pop and could have easily tapped into the buzz around RAG ‘N’ BONE MAN’s success at the time…so let’s see what they’ve done in the time that’s passed.

As it happens, they’ve released not one, but two EP’s since we last caught up with them; last years “Woman” EP and now new to 2019 they’ve released another by the simple title of “Mad”, so they’re seemingly going for the little and often approach. The question is though, how mad are we talking exactly? Where is the context? Let’s find out as we get the EP underway with the title track. It’s got a quite stripped back vibe with initially minimal instrumentation and smooth vocals, combining low-fi indie with a shoe-gaze aesthetic and it’s incredibly mellow. The chorus does have a bit more oomph behind it as the guitars get bigger and bolder and the vocals become much more impassioned; it’s a decent start.

The EP continues then with “Mistakes” and again here we’re given a mellow, minimal piece of music with emotive vocals carrying the song…a reflective little track about life lessons in love, and learning from the inevitable mistakes we will all make at some point or another; quaint but not much different from the opener really. “20” again takes a similar approach but at least incorporates subtle country-guitar in the tracks climax, and although that’s hardly a drastic departure from their usual style, it’s enough to make a noticeable difference to the listening experience. We then finish up on the closing track “Good Excuse” and it’s a good excuse as any for me to admit that my interest has sadly waned by this point. Another slow, minimalistic soft indie-pop piece with tenuous soulful elements layered within.

The disappointing thing here isn’t really about this EP to be quite frank; it’s about the band themselves…in the couple of years that have passed since, despite still managing to write lovely, twee little songs with butter-wouldn’t-melt melodies, they’ve seemingly made little progress if not gone a bit backwards. Their earlier material was at least a bit more enthusiastic and the soulful elements of their writing was just that; soulful…I’m not saying that they went all-out gospel and could raise the roof, (They ain’t no ‘Sister Act’) but their sound at least had more energy. It’s that very energy that draws you in as a listener; both motivating and uplifting…here we get none of that.

Despite this though the bands core sound and writing style has remained more or less the same, and over the course of a couple of EP’s, they’ve essentially released one album spread across three years. Despite the tonal differences between these and previous tracks, if shuffled together they could all easily make up one cohesive record and no one would really guess it was a compilation…a bit like ED SHEERAN’s music in some aspects. This EP may very well be “Mad”, but this reviewer on the other however is just sad. [3]
​

WWW.THEKINGSPARADE.COM
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Twin Temple - "Twin Temple..."

2/4/2019

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Now, it WOULD ironically take some sort of deal with the devil to actually accomplish what I’m about to propose to you here but, just go with me on this…imagine you managed to, I don't know, dust off the old Ouija board to summon the spirits of both ROSIE HAMLIN and AMY WINEHOUSE, somehow harnessed their combined vocal capabilities, incorporated that with the suddenly resurrected rock ‘n’ roll musical style of the 50’s and 60’s and, oh, sang about satanic rituals while you’re at it? I wouldn’t blame you if you assumed I was four days into a three-day weekend of abusing multiple substances all the while binge watching Nostalgia Critic videos (That’s half right, I’ll let you speculate which half)…but in principle, there actually does exist such a twisted creation…a creation even Mary Shelly would tip her quill to…let me introduce you to TWIN TEMPLE.

The duo, comprising of Alexandra and Zachary James, formed in (As they say with a slight case of tongue in cheek) the City Of Angels, only recently really in 2016, but have caused quite a stir among the alternative community in the brief time since. While you would typically associate the idea of Satanism in music going hand in hoof with genres such as black or death metal, here the pair argue the case that maybe the devil doesn’t have a ‘type’ and that maybe he loves a slow jam as much as the next bloke…or…biblical outcast, and so using the classical sounds of soul, blues jazz and doo-wop, they spread the message of feminist Satanism, and tackle topics of oppression while fighting for free will against dated ways of thinking in society. How are they doing this? Well with their new album of course! So with that in mind, let’s check out the smoothly titled “Twin Temple (Bring You Their Signature Sound…Satanic Doo-Wop)”…I feel like I’ve just summoned something just SAYING that out loud…Venite incipere!

We open up with “The Devil (Didn’t Make Me Do It)” and it’s a quaint little slice of social commentary and tackles the idea of perception; with lyrics about 8-Balls, playing pool, beer and what not…the idea that gambling and alcohol etc is the work of the devil and leads to further sinning, but here they defend him claiming he gets a bad rap, it’s not all his fault at all! There IS a sense of poignancy however as Alexandra references the 27-club, making the point whilst doing her best Amy Winehouse over some subtle jazz and soft blues. You make your own choices in life, but some of us do have our demons and we need to hold ourselves accountable; it’s a touching nod. “Lucifer, My Love” then goes head on into a world of Satanism but done in the most romantic manner possible. There’s no bombastic sense of theater or hedonistic rituals of sacrificial bloodshed…instead there is a sweet love song about how Alexandra genuinely loves him. The ceremonial candles likened to a candle-lit date, and she even asks if he prefers blue denim or a red dress? A rib at the expense of both gothic and heavy metal clichés…despite its pacing as a slow-dance track it’s really quite comical, in a good way!

The rest of the album continues to tackle the concepts of tortured romance, adultery, corruption and revenge fuelled by love and loss; “I Know How To Hex You” dabbles in a little black magic as the scorned woman gets back at her ex for objectifying her, all delivered with a smooth dose of Americana, while “Let’s Hang Together” goes down the route of taking marriage vows very literally, with emphasis on the till’ death do us part bit, so long the lovers both go out at the same time…morbidly romantic you may say. There are two instrumental pieces making up run-time in the form of “In Lvx” and “In Nox”, representing night and day and other than acting as an interlude and closing piece respectively, they contribute little to what is essentially an 8-track mini-album really.

Overall, while musically it won’t be exciting very many people in the heavy metal community, it IS a refreshing change, in both pace and style. Where it lacks in instrumental heaviness it makes up for in its message and entire point…its MEANT to stick out like a sore thumb because the duo are challenging preconceived and already existing ideas and norms, and really they’ve succeeded, all the while managing to not make any sort of mockery of their Satanic principles. The Goths will get behind this for its quirkiness, and if you’re fan of the “Dreamboats And Petticoats” era then you’ll likely enjoy this too, just, look past the nods to the occult and don’t play it for your grandma...the next time you visit you may find her hailing Satan and finger painting with her cats blood in between cups of tea. [5]

WWW.TWINTEMPLE.COM
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Benny Bassett - "Words For Yesterday" EP

24/3/2019

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Joe Strummer once famously sang that he'd fought the law, and the law won…well as it happens, today’s artist ALSO fought the law, quite regularly in fact, but decided enough was enough and ditched the court rooms in favour of clubs and venues. Let me introduce you to BENNY BASSETT; based in Chicago, Benny was in fact a lawyer for several years, before he decided to pack up his briefcase, cried objection at his own life, and set out on the road to become a musician. A bold move if ever there was one, as if there’s anything more cut throat than the judicial system, it’s the music industry, alas, Benny was not put off and over the past three years he’s spent his time travelling thousands of miles up and down America, playing over 450+ shows, adding new chapters to his life story. This April, Benny releases his brand new EP entitled “Words For Yesterday”…a reflective collection of songs to summarise his life to date. He emailed me recently and asked me to check it out, so let’s do just that.

​The EP opens up with “Window To Forever” and for the most part it’s a sombre, calming indie-pop ballad. An acoustic-led track, it’s charming as it speaks of an uncertainty; not knowing what the future holds but reminding you that, you need to take the chance sometimes. Mistakes can be made for sure, but you need to grow and take risks. The chorus is more up-tempo but the track overall is soothing and it’s a pleasant little track. “Live Where You Love The Sky” follows up and it’s another soft ballad but carries with it more of a subtle country tone. A song of optimism and following his own self-reflective journey; it encourages you to appreciate life for everything it is and do what makes you happy, embrace the selflessness of contentment and be grateful for all you have, so long as you follow your heart.  A philosophical piece as Benny really does practice what he preaches, with the song coming off as very autobiographical, but the hope and belief in his words is enthusing.

Benny isn’t a complete softie however, as proven on “Down Below”…swapping the acoustics for a grittier dose of harder, blues-based rock, there’s a sharper edge here musically but it’s still got a rich vocal harmony and a solid groove. It’s a welcome change as it provides a clear EP highlight, allowing for more swagger and attitude and no doubt this is a stand-out track in his live shows, entertaining stuff this. “Find A Way” switches things up immediately with a bassy, funk-driven piece with retro organs / synths layered throughout the track and it’s quite soulful in its own right, with a brief though enjoyable solo to boot, before the closing tracks sort of taper off with sadly less interest. “Building A Future” is arguably the EP’s weakest offering…the wood-block style synths carry another sickly sweet indie-pop piece but it does descend into a sense of repetition over the chorus, before “From You” closes the EP with another hushed piano ballad.

Overall Benny has proven himself to be a decent song-writer as his lyrical delivery carries you along the EP pretty effortlessly…the melodies flow well and he conveys his story with a softness that absorbs you into each song, resulting in a generally easy, laid back listen. A solid collection of pop songs overall though truth be told a couple more tracks like “Down Below” in future wouldn’t go amiss, sometimes you just need something to move to, but really speaking it’s a fine EP indeed. He’s still brave for quitting his day job to do this, especially such a well-paid and stable one, but he has both a commitment and an ability to make this work, and his debut album should be an interesting listen. Words for yesterday maybe…but more importantly; words to watch out for tomorrow... [6]

WWW.BENNYBASSETT.COM
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    Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x

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