Allow me if I may, to cast your minds back...to May; a time of year I anticipate with a varying degree of excitement and self-loathing. A birthday perhaps? No... those never excite me...though statistically people who have more birthdays live longer. That’s a fact. But no, I am of course talking about, the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.  

​I bet you’re thinking, Gav, you already covered the 2020 Eurovision Song Contest in a rather lengthy, frankly indulgent post? It was cancelled because of Coronavirus, leaving you rather irate with only the 40+ track accompanying album to review...what more could you possibly say? Well, my friends...as it happens, A LOT. You see I may or may not have overlooked the fact that, there is also a JUNIOR version of the song contest, which apparently France won this past weekend. I bet I also know what you’re thinking now; Gav...no, please? They are children?! You couldn’t possibly?!?!? That...sounds darker than it needs to...nevertheless! I am about to review, the Junior Eurovision Song Contest, 2020. Does this count as child abuse? 

While not having the 60+ year heritage of the actual contest, the junior version is itself still in its 18th year and is continuing to grow, providing an international platform for budding young artists and performers hoping to make a career in the music industry. This year the contest was meant to be held in Poland, the first time in Eurovision history a nation has held it twice consecutively, but due to the ongoing issues regarding Covid-19, only 12 nations chose to participate, and it was televised from separate national studios instead of having one live-performance final. With the slogan #MoveTheWorld, it captured a positive message of togetherness and safeguarding the future, as the younger generations look to make the world a better place. Sadly, that time will have to wait, as I’m about to review the shit out of these twelve entries... 

For the purpose of convenience, I’ll be running through the tracks in order of their album placing according to Spotify, as opposed to the actual running order of the final, so if you choose to listen, this list will at least be cohesive whether you agree with me or not, and we start with Belarus. ARINA PEHTEREVA gets us underway with the track “Aliens”, and apparently, she’s only 12 years old. Seriously...what do they put in the water in Belarus? Aside from 70% of the Chernobyl fallout. The semi-hushed, soulful pop effort with brief hip-hop elements sounds far more mature than her 12 years and it's actually an impressive vocal performance... I mean if she’s 12, then I’M an alien...shooketh I am! 

Next up we have Germany, and it marks their first ever entry into the Junior version of the contest. Well, they need something to do in the absence of the Hitler Youth, right? I jest. (Come on it’s been 75 years get over it) ...the track is called “Stronger With You” by a young lady named SUSAN. Really? Not to nit-pick here but, Susan is the least German sounding German ever... doing a weekly grocery shop in ALDI is about as German as Susan gets. I digress. The 14-year-old delivers a traditionally performed pop-ballad in a mixture of German and English, dramatic and cliched, it’s basic, safe Eurovision fodder and sadly boring as a result. She came last by the way. Take that, Susan. 

Moving on to Spain next, and the song “Palante” by a 9-year-old girl by the name of SOLEA. Apparently, a slang term for “Keep going” or, “Go for it” in Spanish, its intent is obviously positive and encouraging, motivational even, and the overall Latino/Hispanic pop grooves while stereotypical, aren’t dreadful. I mean it’s not as shit as “Despacito” ...there...praised a nine-year-old. Quickly hopping across the border then to France and we have our aforementioned winner; an 11-year-old named VALENTINA with a track called “J’imagine”. Other than sounding like Jimmy Saville’s own brand of cologne (Hey why does this smell like Rohyp....zZzZzZz) it’s performed in French, like most of the French entries, and comprises of a predominantly inoffensive, quirky, up-beat piece of sweet-pop. The track itself is nothing spectacular, but what’s funny is someone has edited Valentina’s Wikipedia page, stating that she cheated. No proof, just calling her a cheater. And I thought I was petty and bitter!? That’s actually amused me, well done, random butt-hurt person. 

We’re a third of the way through now thankfully as we head over to Georgia, to check out SANDRA GADELIA and her entry “You Are Not Alone”. To be fair, you are undoubtedly correct here as I cannot be the only one not having a good time right now. Here is the shock twist however...the piano ballad is fuelled by some incredibly and impressively powerful, emotive vocals. This has some presence and one has to tip his hat where it’s warranted. There’s a SLIGHTLY dodgy key-change which makes you question it’s necessity, but other than that, well done; an album high-light this. 

Next up we have KARAKAT BASHANOVA representing Kazakhstan, though while not as popular as Borat globally, she probably brings less shame upon her country. At 12 years old she’s currently attending a musical boarding school where she is classically training in violin and piano, which is beyond evident in the more mature, operatic / ballet composition of the song. It’s quite elegant in all fairness and again, impresses. It’s still pretty safe, your typical ballad in terms of Eurovision, but this young lady has a potentially bright future in musical theatre for sure. Jagshemash!  

Moving swiftly on to Malta next as we find CHANEL MONSEIGNEUR singing her entry “Chasing Sunsets” ...it is, undeniably, yet another by-numbers soft pop-ballad which, for the pre-teen is delivered clearly and confidently and it’s a pleasant pop song as a whole, but this is getting a little rinse and repeat by this point. It’s getting difficult to find anything of real interest...forget chasing sunsets this is more like chasing the dragon now. Also, there is a pattern forming...can our next entry mix things up a bit? Well, a bit is fitting. UNITY who are representing Netherlands here, aren’t just a young female solo artist...no, they are a group of young female artists! Did any boys enter this at all? It’s not a bad thing if they didn’t but it’s certainly interesting. Performing a track called “Best Friends”, they essentially come across as a sort of, teenage LITTLE MIX. Littler Mix, if you will. That about sums up the track. 

We’re into the final third now as we get host nation Poland and their entry “I’ll Be Standing”, by ALA TRACZ. Not to be confused with Alcatraz, but it does feel like I’ve served some sort of life sentence up to this point. It’s got an assertive chorus rich in percussion, brass AND synth elements while the young lady fleets back and forth her native tongue and English vocals, and really its quite up-beat; this is far from the worst track here. Serbia are up next and we get our first male performer of the contest...PETAR ANICIC and his song “Heartbeat”...and I’m not going to lie when I say my mind instantly went to some, Serbian rip-off of a certain 1960’s Yorkshire based police drama. I can’t imagine Serbian police letting Greengrass off so lightly for poaching though if I’m honest. Anyway, it’s another piano ballad, what a surprise. 

Our penultimate track comes from Russia with love, as SOFIA FESKOVA performs her track “My New Day” and it’s yet another, sickly-sweet pop-ballad. I mean she’s clearly got Disney+ at home going by this track...I wouldn’t be surprised if she ran into the woods to sing this to the animals quite frankly but, being Russia it’s probably safer not to. Be like Snow White, but instead of seven dwarves she’d stumble across seven prisoners of war in some forgotten gulag. Finally then, we round things up with the Ukraine’s entry; “Vidkryvai (Open Up)” by a lad named OLEKSANDR BALABANOV (Do-do-dododo...sorry I just had to). It’s more of a soulful slow jam with a touch more character than a lot of the tracks here and he’s got a uniquely blended vocal and it ends the album on a better note. 

While I praise the variety and character of the original Eurovision Song Contest, my first experience of the Junior contest hasn’t been completely encouraging. Sure, there have been one or two impressive vocal performances for the age range we’re talking about, and we can’t overlook the fact that the majority of countries pulled out because of Covid-19, but the tracks that made up the remaining contestants failed to excite or inspire. You could argue that, as children, they are having songs written for them...true, but so do the adults most of the time. The difference is, with children, you aren’t going to get ridiculous entries like LORDI...you aren’t going to have artists like CONCHITA or HATARI making bold statements, you’re going to get things pretty safe, and sadly that’s exactly what we had here. Fair play to them mind, they got up on stage and they sang for their countries, and they should be proud of themselves. Except you Susan...you came last. 

It’s a new day! Yes it is! Ok, alright, before I get issued with a cease and desist by WWE…no, Kofi Kingston isn’t about to come out with his New Day team-mates to bitch slap you with a tray of pancakes, but it does provide me with an ample segue into this next review; let’s talk about  FOREVER VENDETTA.

Kofi Kingston emerged as a bright up and coming talent in WWE through the mid to late 00’s, and though while a solid worker, he never truly reached the heady heights of being WWE Champion and never attained main event level status…that was until 2019 when he was finally given a well-deserved push and a fantastic WrestleMania ‘Moment’ on April 7th.

Forever Vendetta have (Albeit on a smaller scale) mirrored that to a degree. From as far back as 2008 you may have seen them share the stage with the likes of HARDCORE SUPERSTAR and LA GUNS, though while promising upstarts, the Swansea based quartet (Now consisting of guitarist Leigh Fuge, bassist Liam Alonzi, vocalist/guitarist Chris Tippett and drummer Gareth Hunt) always remained in that lower to mid-card status in the South Wales music scene. Recently however the Welsh rockers have returned after a brief hiatus with their long-awaited debut album “New Day Rising”…and all of a sudden my analogy makes sense. Will this give Forever Vendetta the push they need to hit the big time? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “Unbreakable” and what we have is essentially a drawn out introductory piece. Purely instrumental; it flows through your speakers with a subtle mixture of emotions, blending a sense of sadness and, almost apathy…however that’s juxtaposed with a reassuring feeling of hope and defiance in the face of struggle. In just two minutes of soulful guitar playing they’ve already managed to convey a message of redemption; they’re back and shits about to go down. It’s wonderfully structured this, a strong start.

First track proper then, “Come Alive” immediately transitions into a deep, bass-heavy rumbling, before the band kick into gear with their blend of hard southern-inspired blues rock. The chorus carries with it a decent melody and the influence of bands such as BLACK STONE CHERRY is fairly clear here. The riffs are solid and the solo is both slick and impassioned…credit to them they’ve absolutely nailed the sound in regards to this genre. “Takin’ It Back” initially gives of a subtle nod to the likes of VELVET REVOLVER before falling into a similar song structure, though the solo is, again, enjoyable and the track overall is a touch grittier.

Elsewhere the likes of “Snake Oil Saviour” and “Not Your Hero” provide more of the same, enjoyable blues-based hard rock, with the band primarily sticking to their formula and knowing their strengths in delivering riff after riff, with well executed guitar play…but here we have to sadly point out the albums only real flaw; the vocals. Chris is clearly passionate about his craft, there’s no denying that and credit to him he’s giving this 110%, but there are too many occasions throughout this record where despite his efforts, he comes across as simply not capable of delivering the notes he’s aiming for. On “Easy Way Out” for example, his voice really isn’t powerful enough to stamp authority on the tracks chorus, as he comes across as strained, almost forced and it sadly sounds off…there’s something that just doesn’t click and it makes you wince truthfully. “Roll It On Back” gives off the impression it’s more of a demo with raw vocal recording, while “Don’t” comes across as a scrapped BON JOVI B-Side track.

Overall, instrumentally this album is undeniably superb, and kudos to the guys for their efforts here; this is some top-notch blues rock ‘n’ roll…it’s just a shame vocally things aren’t quite on par. They haven’t quite emulated Kofi Kingston's trajectory  just yet, but there’s a lot of potential for them to do so. It’s a new day, yes it is…but it’s more of a Monday morning than a Saturday morning if you catch my drift. [6]

Now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales about us Welsh…stories about non-licet liaisons with animals of a woollen nature (For the record, Velcro gloves work wonders, though you didn’t hear that from me) but it’s not ALL about sheep shagging, let me tell you! Yes aside from our preferred bestial pastimes we do occasionally dabble in a spot of rock ‘n’ roll and as I’ve stated before, South Wales is a hotbed of up-and-coming bands and musicians. Now while a lot of attention is heaped on the Cardiff area because of its bustling live venues, we can’t forget about the rest of Wales, and today we’re taking a little trip up the valleys to a town called Aberdare for our next band; HEAVY FLAMES.

Comprising of vocalist David Hill, guitarists Lee Harvey and Ryan Lewis, bassist Gareth Owen and drummer Richard Boggis, the outfit are all about the old-school; opting to ignore what’s happening in the world of modern music, to play in their preferred style of classic blues-inspired rock ‘n’ roll…and they’ve showcased this on their debut full length album; “Bolt On The Rust”. The question is does this pile of rust belong on the scrapheap?

The album opens up with “Clearly Not A Welcome Rain” and it utilises the gradual build really quite well…we’re subject to a simplistic looped guitar sequence, blending in to some subtle percussion, as David wraps his vocals around proceedings before the track eventually erupts into a barrage of harmonica-fuelled rock. It’s bold as it is brash instrumentally, the southern blues tones giving this track some real swagger when it gets going and it’s an enjoyable start this.

The rock ‘n’ roll keeps on coming through album highlights such as “Nature Of The Beast” too…another initially low-key start but it quickly comes to life with some rich organ-eqsue synths akin to the likes of THE DOORS or even DEEP PURPLE in places; really embracing that early hard rock transitional period…not quite metal yet but the exploration into the weight and delivery of the instrumentation is all there. “Acre Of Graves” hammers this home brilliantly with its meatier riffs and almost polyrhythmic percussion, allowing for subtle prog aesthetics. The tone of the track here is a touch darker, incorporating more of a BLACK SABBATH vibe while still retaining their aforementioned synth-driven core sound and it’s a solid track.

There are a couple of lesser moments scattered around the album though, “Insult To The Brain” is more of an insult to my eardrums in all honesty, mainly because of that fucking guitar loop that makes your eye twitch. ‘Duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duh’ it goes over, and over, and over, and over, and over…the chorus provides a brief respite, but it comes back and the repetition of this specific chord sequence just drives you mad. Maybe it’s just me but this makes me want to cause physical harm to the brain of whoever decided to record this particular track, not just insult it. “House Full Of Women” suffers from a similar problem although the riff here is quirkier and the track is generally grittier overall, salvaging it somewhat.

Generally speaking though those are minor irritants more than anything and don’t really take away from the album as a whole…the recording quality and sound that they’ve gone for clearly harks back to those classic days in the 70’s with the bluegrass-inspired tones, with the band managing to retain that certain rawness in their production. Younger fans of rock and metal may view this as old-fashioned or, maybe even uncool, but if you appreciate the nostalgia of those formative years in rock ‘n’ roll’s evolution then you’ll likely appreciate this a lot more. Not quite niche per se, but it certainly has more of a target audience in mind. [5]

“I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do…and for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'” – Bob Newhart. All jokes aside, country music isn’t something we hear a lot of in the UK, and by a lot of I mean, virtually any; it’s just not a thing. We’ve got plenty of talented singer/songwriters, but country music to us is a very American thing…a very, cowboy hat wearing, moonshine drinking, horse-riding, rootin’ tootin’ arguably inbred (If you’re down South at least) American thing.

That’s not to say that it’s all bad however, no sirree, as I’m sure everyone can agree that the likes of JOHNNY CASH and TAMMY WYNETTE are iconic performers, and they, like so many others helped take country music off of the front porch into packed out concert halls across the states. Although, while the UK doesn’t have a flourishing country scene, we do have artists that take influence from the genre and that leads us into today’s review; let me introduce you to HAWTHORN AVENUE.

The duo from Neath (Consisting of Marcus Gumms and Laura Benjamin) initially met in 2015 while both playing the South Wales live circuit and immediately gravitated toward each other creatively, starting out at jam nights where they found their feet in terms of collaborating. Laura, a multi-instrumentalist grew up loving music from a young age and looks up to the likes of TAYLOR SWIFT and CARRIE UNDERWOOD, while Marcus admits he just saw some guy on Stars In Their Eyes doing Johnny Cash and thought to himself ‘That’s what I’m going to do’…and he did! The duo have recently released their debut EP entitled “Wildfire” and have asked me to check it out…I guess it’s time to saddle up…

The EP opens up with “Raised Me Better” and it combines subtle organ notes with soft country blues and a crisp pop aesthetic…with its vocal harmonies, powerful key-changes yet an easy-listening approach, it delivers a wonderfully smooth, simplistic country-pop number. Hick-pop if you will. The songs message of restraint and composure allows for a positive outlook and sets a good example; be the better person, and it’s really quite lovely; a good start this. “Fade Away” strips things right back to a gently plucked acoustic-driven piece with subtle nods to a Native American woodwind influence. It’s a hushed, mellow little track with an emotive delivery, though picks up ever so slightly over time, incorporating more electric guitar and growing in volume and intensity, yet manages to stay restrained.

“The Water’s Edge” follows in the same vein with another sombre country ballad; with its sweet, delicate acoustics and silky vocal harmonies…it’s a quaint little track but out of the four presented here, it’s arguably the weakest of the bunch, though you can appreciate its tenderness. We do however finish on a strong note and the EP’s title track is a clear EP highlight in every sense of the term. “Wildfire” returns to a more up-beat presentation blending their love of country stylistics with a more modern indie-pop tone and the resulting track is full of sass, swagger and rhythm. The tinny guitar, dual vocal harmonies and a fantastically hook-laden, melodic chorus means this song is impossible to not enjoy, and it bookends this EP perfectly. Country may not be all too lucrative within the UK market, but here Hawthorn Avenue prove that you can utilise that distinct country style to great effect when blended in with a more modern, pop-oriented sound. After listening to this, I really hope this wildfire spreads…god that sounds terrible doesn’t it…[8]

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Finnish music it would seem, is undergoing a little bit of a renaissance…just last year we saw the revival (And what a revival it was too!) of original 80’s Goth-rockers MUSTA PARAATI thanks to Jyrki Linannkivi of THE 69 EYES, who helped them rock ‘n’ roll-back the years to deliver some sorely missed traditional post-punk, but this year we’re going back even further. Back in the late 70’s a group of musicians who would be simply known as the AGENTS began their highly collaborative career, acting as a backing band for several successful Finnish artists, and though while consistent throughout this time, having released a plethora of recorded LP’s, they’ve never really had the spotlight on them outside of their home country…until now.

VILLE VALO needs no introduction; the former HIM front-man is one of the most iconic performers in modern alternative music and since HIM disbanded, I guess you could say he’s been a…free agent? Cue the collaboration! But it wouldn’t be the first time, oh no…HIM fans will be aware that back in the late 90’s before the love-metal maestro’s hit the big time, Valo had already performed with Agents a handful of times on Finnish TV…but now, twenty years later, we find them together again as Valo’s career comes full circle as they release their self-titled album “Ville Valo & Agents”. To paraphrase CHER…do you believe in life after love metal? Let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Kirstinkulma” and what we have really is an elongated intro track; purely instrumental here, it showcases the bands original style and tone with the stripped-back surf rock and blues-pop influences…with a subtle ROY ORBISON inspired sound in places. It’s very easy-listening and really quite sweet sonically. The first track proper then is the first of a couple of revisited tracks for Valo by the name of “Ikkunaprinsessa”, which essentially means ‘The princess in the window’. Not to be mistaken with anything you might find in the window of his dad’s Helsinki sex shop, it’s a romantic little tale about someone who sets their eyes on a model in a shop window and falls in love. A simple story but it’s got such a jovial tone to it, with Valo here sounding smooth as ever. Singing in his native tongue, he makes Finnish as much an art from as a language. “Paratiisi” is another which means ‘Paradise’ and it’s got soft, Mediterranean elements to the guitar here and both tracks sound vibrant; the fresh recording quality has done them justice.

It’s worth pointing out here that the bulk of this record comes in the form of re-recordings, with Valo putting his spin on tracks originally performed when the Agents were collaborating with RAULI SOMERJOKI, a Finnish songwriter who passed away in 1987, with “Kuihtuu Kesäinen Maa” being a great tribute for example. An incredibly mellow track, Valo allows his dulcet tones to weave their way around the song, bordering on the point of becoming a lullaby was it not for the instrumentation. There’s a sense of clarity to him that he was lacking on the last HIM record and he seems audibly more relaxed, healthier even. There are two English language tracks presented by the way of “Rockin’ With Enzio” and “I Told You So”…neither of which have Valo on vocals. The former houses a subtle 70’s glam-rock tone musically, which may appeal to fans of say, T-REX, while the latter harbours a more country-based blues aesthetic; both of which equally refreshing on the ears from a musical and linguistic point.

To be quite frank, this is more of a project than a new band or, real fresh start for Valo post-HIM…a little like his solo single “Olet Mun Kaikuluotain”, he just fancied a change. The songs have been rerecorded and produced well, and Valo’s hushed vocal harmonies are tailor made for Agents musical style, they complement each other wonderfully.  If any HIM fans were hoping for something more like the guys have done in FLAT EARTH then they’ll be disappointed, the whole idea was for Valo to step AWAY from the noise and the heaviness that came with being in HIM; he’s exploring new avenues creatively and allowing himself the freedom to do so. Sure the Finnish itself might put some people off too, but it really isn’t aimed at the same demographic of Heartagram enthusiasts he’s been used to for the past twenty five years. If you’re a fan of Valo’s then naturally you’re going to check this out, long-time fans will already be familiar with his history with the Agents, but don’t go into this expecting his trademark baritone, soaring vocals and wailing guitar solos…you will be massively let down. [6]

When you think about bands and their longevity, you’ll be forgiven for making a B-line to the classic-rock generation, and those artists that have been together since whichever year BC they formed out of single cell organisms, (I’m looking at you Rolling Stones) but we sometimes forget that time moves on, and, as a result, some bands get lost in the nostalgic shuffle. This brings us to WEEZER. The Los Angeles based alt-rockers formed back in 1992 and we need to remember that, that was nearly thirty years ago now! Thirty years ago still feels like the 70’s! Granted while they aren’t exactly old-timers, their consistency and reliability over the years has been impressive, and coming back to present day, they’ve surprised us all again….

​Every now and again a band will release a cover-song that’ll slot into an album as a bonus track, or, for an EP for example, but Weezer have gone all the way down that rabbit hole, and delivered a full length covers album dubbed the “Teal Album”. Their fifth self-titled album and their twelfth studio album overall, it started life as an innocent cover of “Africa” by TOTO, but it’s snowballed into the collection of tracks we have before us right now. With that said, let’s go undercover and scope this album out…

It opens up with that Toto track and to be fair, there isn’t a LOT to differentiate this track from its original. The soft synths remain; the gentle percussion and River’s clean, melodic vocals are a pleasure as always. There’s an extra layer of guitar thrown in to the mix to give it a little more character but overall it’s a pretty by-numbers cover. Next up we have the TEARS FOR FEARS classic “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” and again really, they haven’t done a great deal to it…other than hearing Rivers own distinct vocal the tracks delivery more or less remains unchanged in style, in tone and tempo and, to a degree you could argue that, again, bar from some additional guitars, this could essentially just be Rivers doing karaoke.

There are a couple of occasions where the tracks do actually feel like covers; “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)” being an early example…the EURYTHMICS anthem, naturally, originally voiced by Annie Lennox, sounds different with male vocals and here it’s presented in a good way, unlike the god-awful attempt by MARILYN MANSON, though the synths are still pretty copy and paste. We do manage to shake things up on the surprise inclusion of BLACK SABBATH classic “Paranoid” as guitarist Brian Bell takes up lead vocals…why you may be asking? Well…it turns out he can do a pretty fucking decent Ozzy impression so again, it’s like a karaoke track, though I will admit the modern production value and crisp guitar solo breathe new life into this legendary piece of metal history. A-HA classic “Take On Me” gets a turn too and again, with Morten Harket having such a distinct vocal, it’s interesting to see Rivers wrap his chords around it but it’s clean, clear and he does a brilliant job hitting THOSE high notes.

Arguably the most talked about track though will be “No Scrubs” by 90’s has-been R’n’B unit TLC…long-forgotten one-hit-wonders, this is the kind of thing that can revive a career with media interest so thanks Weezer…thanks a fucking bunch, last thing we need is a TLC reunion tour, it’s bad enough with THE SPICE GIRLS. Ultimately though, at only 10 tracks long it’s not a bad listen by any means, the production and mixing are all good, as are the majority of selected songs themselves, but despite the odd, brief, minimal twist, they do for the most part, just sound the same, and there isn’t a lot of additional character offered; there are no extra quirks. It’s like, how can I put it...when you buy a CD full of old Christmas songs, but they couldn’t afford the licencing or the rights for the original artists, so they just got some session singers to get as near to the original sound as possible. That’s what this album sounds like. Having said that…just be grateful they didn’t pick anything by Mariah Carey. [6]

Back in 1992, back when I was still only 3 years old and barely singing ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’, death metal was arguably at its mainstream peak, sacrificing those very lambs I sang of, ready to branch out like THAT rape scene from ‘Evil Dead’, into a myriad of other malevolent  genres…violating all whose ears fell upon it. During that time, today’s band underwent their formation and for a long time they went by the name of OCCULT, following in the footsteps of Norway’s earliest death metal bands…but in 2006, they transformed into the band we know them as today; LEGION OF THE DAMNED.

Not to be confused with former WWF/WWE tag team Legion Of Doom (Though noticeably not as intimidating) The current line-up consists of long-time members Maurice Swinkels and Erik Fleuren on vocals and guitars respectively, accompanied by bassist Harold Gielen and drummer Twan Van Geel, but while their name may have changed, their core principles remain, as they unleashed their 13th studio album; “Slaves Of The Shadow Realm” very early in January 2019. Let’s see if a cold, dark winter night is the perfect environment for such an album to exist…

The album opens up with “The Widow’s Breed” and it pretty much sets the tone and feel of the album from the word go…with the intense blend of frantic, technical death; the viciously spat blackened vocals of Maurice and a classic, thrash metal inspired core sound…it really is in your face and unrelenting. Whatever the hell they are, if this is how they breed no wonder they’re widows! I DARE you to try and fuck to this song; you won’t have a dick left! “Charnel Confession” then with its opening cracklings gives a feeling of an old-school approach…fast-paced and up-tempo, yet with a strong groove, not to mention the sporadic, wild guitar solo, it channels with it the likes of fellow countrymen IMMORTAL and MAYHEM.

The thrash-elements shine through again on tracks like “Palace Of Sin” and you can see where earlier artists like SLAYER and EXODUS have rubbed off on them stylistically, with both the riff-work and percussion going full throttle from the get go. It’s not all hard and heavy however, not quite anyway, as “Shadow Realm Of The Demonic Mind” initially gets underway with a gentle, melancholic piano-led intro, really breaking up the bombardment at the halfway point, though it sadly doesn’t last very long. The rest of the album is predominantly by-numbers classic blackened death metal…though interestingly, they’ve thrown in two bonus tracks (“Priest Hunt” and “Azazel’s Crown”) BEFORE the end of the album, which is different. The latter housing more of those screeching guitar wails, and another solo, but not really diversifying all that much…

Truth be told, Legion Of The Damned they are, and have been for a while now, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t just another standard thrash/death crossover album. I’m not knocking them musically as a unit, they deliver technically very well, they sound crisp, tight and the production here is sound for the genre, but it’s really nothing you haven’t already heard before. Never mind the shadow realm; they’re more like slaves to their own heritage. [5]
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'My Wreckord Collection' is becoming an interesting little feature...we've gone from an underground death metal masterclass, to lashings of thrash and now...in our third installment, we're going for something totally different yet again. Today we're going to be putting the spotlight on Mike Cummings of West Chester Pennsylvania stoner rockers BACKWOODS PAYBACK, who last year released their newest album "Future Slum", to find out what it is about NEIL YOUNG he loves so much...

“I sat down to write a bit about my record collection but, it seemed a bit overwhelming at the time. So many records, so many artists, so many genres; so many formats! I decided to hone in on the one artist that may have influenced me the most and that, would be NEIL YOUNG. I was turned onto “Harvest” before I was 10 years old; it was one of my mom’s favourite records and in constant rotation at the house growing up. Something about the fragility of his voice made me stop whatever I was doing whenever it came across the speakers. Then getting older and understanding the words he was singing, I realized just how powerful that soft voice actually was. As I got older and started digging through crates for my own record collection I was blown away by the sheer VOLUME of records Neil Young had (And continues to) put out. A folk record, a psych record, a “punk” record, a noise record, a synth record…he never stops! And when you think you caught up to him, he is already onto the next sound. It’s inspiring, it’s refreshing, and at times it’s FRUSTRATING (Which is a good thing in my opinion!).”

“I have managed to find just about his entire catalogue on vinyl through the years. Some get listened to more than others…some have only been spun once. Some (The ditch trilogy of “Time Fades Away”, “On The Beach” and “Tonight’s The Night”) get played weekly at the house. These records shaped who I am. They make me feel strong, they make me feel small. They guide me through tough times and they sing with me in happier ones. I am not sure who or even what I would be, had I not heard THAT voice all those years ago, coming through my mom’s little turntable stereo in the living room…”

ps…

“When it comes to embarrassing records, I don’t think I have one. Sure there’s a TON of stuff I dig on that a LOT of people think is goofy (IE: SUGAR RAY  - “Lemonade and Brownies”!) but I am not ashamed of any of them. I think they make us who we are. EMBRACE THE AWKWARD!”

Word of mouth can be a powerful tool (Crying ‘rape’ being a prime example) and it used to be the backbone of the alternative music community if you will…long before the days of the internet, you’ve heard of how rock and metal fans would have to swap mix tapes and records etc. to keep up to date with what was happening in music, relying on your good friend or source to learn who was up and coming, who was the next big thing, who just dropped a sick EP…well those days may seem like a distant memory, but word of mouth can still introduce you to some wonderful people. Take today’s band for instance; SECOND SELF.

The Cheltenham based 4-piece (Consisting of vocalist Simon Bond, guitarist Janek Davies, bassist Barny Barnfield and drummer Pablo Rodriguez) got in touch with me personally after mutual friend and 50 BELOW PROMOTIONS booker Robert Tite (He puts on some sweet gigs and I wholeheartedly encourage you to go check them out) suggested me, as they were looking for reviews. They’re preparing to release their debut self-titled EP and have kindly asked me to give it a listen…full of second self-worth or should they have second-guessed my handling of it all? Let’s find out…

The EP opens up with “Never Coming Home” and it combines a certain nostalgic, classic hard-rock approach with underlying funk-inspired qualities…it’s all about the simple groove here as the bass carries this track forward, coupled with Bond’s emotive vocal display…this sounds like they’ve taken parts of INCUBUS and merged them with the likes of IN SEARCH OF SUN for a truly bluesy opener; it’s a decent start. “Stepping Stones” goes for a similar approach in ways but it does utilise more consistent guitar melody, so while keeping in theme with the track previous we also get throwbacks to artists such as IDLEWILD from that early 2000’s post-indie scene; clean vocals and hooks but not afraid to throw a riff down where needed.

The opening to “Falling Backwards” has a more subdued feel with the relaxed drum-fill and the bubbly guitar tone, before it delves into this, angst-ridden blend of early emo and post-hardcore…a bold vocal display coupled with some passionate instrumentation allows for an enjoyable, emotional jaunt, before closing track “Eat Your Horse” goes all Tesco ready meal on your ass. Arguably the weakest track on offer, it’s here you notice most that it’s the band’s debut recording and production isn’t 100%, there are a few rough patches which will naturally improve with time but here you can feel the scruffy, demo-quality if you will…ultimately however for a first offering you can clearly hear that there’s promise here from the quartet. With just a bit of polishing you potentially have a solid blues-based hard rock unit in Second Self as instrumentally they’re on the right path, and the vocals will only improve with confidence and experience, once they’ve found their groove by the next record fingers crossed. Second Self? Maybe a case of first the worst, second the best as they say… [5]

​I’m going to share something with you right now…I love sloths. I happen to have a weakness for three-toed sloths as I find them absolutely adorable and If I could afford it I’d happily fund their conservation in Costa Rica etc…hell if it was legal in the UK I’d buy one myself and let him hang around my garden, I want a pet sloth somebody make that happen! However, while I aren’t lucky enough to get to cuddle one of these moss-covered fuzzy bastards I can in fact LISTEN to some sloths from the comfort of my own home; let me introduce you to THE SLOTHS. Formed in Los Angeles WAY back in 1964, these pioneering rockers may not have been around for long initially, but their calibre of rock ‘n’ roll has had people digging through the archives and old record collections, subsequently re-discovering The Sloths, embracing all of the nostalgia and classic charm. Very much like the animals their named after, it’s a case of better late than never I guess as slowly they’ve garnered credibility…let’s see if they can cling on over 50 years later with the vinyl re-release of “Back From The Grave”…

We open up with the track “Never Enough Girls” and immediately my mind goes in the direction of sloth ‘rape memes’ but I have to compose myself amidst images of dragons and pudding…a tinny-sounding little track, very much of its time; blues inspired rock ‘n’ roll with a slight proto-punk edge. With influences ranging from THE ROLLING STONES and CHUCK BERRY it’s very easy to see where they’re coming from, but also you can see where bands like THE RAMONES took inspiration from too. “End Of My Rope” follows up and again here we’re given more of that original blues heritage with some rich harmonica licks (Even going as far as a solo) and you can easily picture yourself sipping whiskey at a bar in Tennessee while this plays…so far so good. Speaking of solo’s we’re further treated on the tracks “Lust” which utilises an up-tempo, surfer-rock vibe allowing for a fun little piece, and also “Gotta Get Fired”, which by contrast is a slower, bass-driven, groove-heavy number which takes extra influence from the likes of THE DOORS.

The rest of the album, while subtle in its variety, does mostly retain a consistency and level of quality throughout which truth be told results in an all-around enjoyable listen…”Haunted” is thematically self-explanatory in its pained ballad approach; which somehow bridges a gap between the tenderness of ROY ORBISON and the spooky tones of THE MISFITS…”Before I Die” returns to the bands blues roots but here we’re given a slight, country / rockabilly twist, before the initial album rounds off with their most infamous track “Makin’ Love”, which during its initial release over 50 years ago was deemed too controversial for airplay on many US radio stations but is incredibly tame by today’s standards. If I’m to pick at anything really it’s the main single “One Way Out” which has a primarily spoken-word approach that reminds me of “Monster Mash” for the most part in its structure and delivery but it has a pretty weak chorus sadly. The European release does have a bonus track by the name of “I Survived” but it’s really nothing to rave about, actually the weakest sounding vocal quality on the album, sounding more like a demo than anything. Ultimately, for a band that only had an initial run of 2 years, it’s impressive to see their legacy not only living on but how much excitement a little nostalgia can provide! Granted this may be helped by the fact that original vinyl’s have gone for as much as $6000 online but that’s beside the point…whether they are back from the grave or, being the sloths they are they’ve literally just taken this long to get here, it doesn’t matter, rock ‘n’ roll never truly gets old. Roll on the year 2066 for the new album! [7]

The beautiful island of Trinidad; the southernmost island of the Caribbean just a few miles off the coast of Venezuela…a colourful and vibrant place with a rich, diverse culture of exotic carnivals, and also the inspiration behind classic stories such as “Treasure Island”, to many it really is a tropical paradise, however, the steel-drums aren’t the only source of ‘metal’ you’ll hear whilst you sip your cocktails in Las Cuevas Bay, for even the Trinidadian’s know how to rock out; let me introduce you to HAIL THE HATTER. Having formed in 2015, the metal outfit started off when vocalist Jonathan Boos and guitarist Dax Carter decided that the world of rock music was lacking a sense of fun, and thus HTH (Now completed by drummer Nickolai Assam and bassist Aaron Lowchewtung) was born. Having recently released their debut mini-album “Discovering Light”, let’s see just how mad these hatters really are…

We open up with a little intro entitled “The Coming Of The Hatter” and frankly I hope he brought tissues…I kid…incredibly foreboding; it’s a spoken word piece foretelling the hatters arrival as an omen among the thunder and rain, bringing with him the imminent doom for the people of the island, before we get chants of “Hail The Hatter!”, likening him to the devil himself. It sets up an interesting concept and we’re a far cry from Wonderland here let me tell you. First track proper then is “Bone Grin” and aside from the incredibly random Arnold Schwarzenegger opening, we have a brief build towards some slick, blues-inspired hard rock. Initially up-tempo it channels influences such as GUNS ‘N’ ROSES which you can pick up in the tone of Boos’ vocals and definitely the solo towards the end; it’s a decent start…aside from more Schwarzenegger rounding it off…you’re NOT AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE…stop it.

Next up we have “God Bless The Beast” and we’re pretty quickly head-banging to some classic riffs and solid percussion; it’s quite nostalgic in sound for the most part, acting like a throwback to vintage NWOBHM acts such as SAXON and JUDAS PRIEST given it’s tone and even lyrically, you can hear them praise the likes of BLACK SABBATH, they’re definitely tipping their hat to their influences here. “White Walls” initially slows things down dramatically, reduced down to no more than a sluggish drawl with tired riffs mixed with brief guitar licks and gang vocals; so incredibly lethargic, that is until a brief up-tempo fill click-baits you into thinking the song is waking up, but alas it’s short lived. “Akasha”, given its name has a sense and feeling of both vacuity and freedom, with Carter’s guitars flowing through your conscious like they would through space and time itself, before we end proceedings then on the title track, and the longest track on offer here. After a long winding string-section leading into the track, we’re met with more vintage metal at nearly three minutes in, backed with some emotive, soaring vocals from Boos. It’s a dramatic number, especially with the delicate tones of the piano wrapping things up, ending the record on a high.

It’s an interesting listen all in all really and musically they’ve delivered, there’s ample to be enjoyed here for fans of hard rock, classic metal and maybe even a little prog too if you will.  The band wanted to incorporate a little ‘fun and menace’ into their sound and style but sadly they’ve not really delivered on the fun bit to be honest; given their name and such a statement, I was expecting something more off-kilter and essentially bonkers but sadly didn’t so much as smirk once, and coming from the West Indies, well…it’s just not cricket. [6]

At the risk of stating the obvious, I’m quite partial to a review…yes I spend a fair amount of my time writing up these blog entries and contributing to the team over at All About The Rock, but a lot of my free time is spent watching YouTube reviewers too; guys like Anthony Fantano, AVGN, Brandon Tenold and more recently I’ve stumbled upon a guy named Decker Shado; the internet personality with the best hair. He, like most internet movie reviewers has gone through the “Alien” franchise and having watched these particular videos over the last day or so, it’s only ironic that this next review has ties to the movie itself…thematically at least, let me explain…

​Allow me to introduce to you a band by the name of SICK N’ BEAUTIFUL and to utilise some professional wrestling terminology here, they’re ALL about the kayfabe. Hailing from Acheron LV-426, a moon orbiting Calpamos, 39 Light Years from Earth, from which the USCSS Nostromo picked up a distress signal, before its crew got face-hugged the fuck out of in the aforementioned movie “Alien”. Or, if you prefer…Rome, they’re from Rome, Italy. The intergalactic 5-piece (Consisting of vocalist Herma, bassist Big Daddy Ray, drummer Evey plus guitarists Lobo and Rev C2) apparently “crash landed” in the Italian capital after their spaceship; the BFS9000 suffered engine failure on their travels and they’re a bit stuck, but as luck would have it they’re a space-age musical circus freak-show and request your generosity in funding the repair costs by checking out their brand new album “Element Of Sex”. Clearly not endorsed in any way by the Weyland-Yuntani group, let’s see if they deserve our hard earned dollar…

We open up with “Fire True” and immediately we’re met with a dramatic, string-inspired synth sequence, verging on symphonic really, before we’re thrust right into the crunch of some thick, throwback nu-metal riffs. The heavy intensity and subtle electronic elements musically places this somewhere in deep space between KORN and CANE HILL, add to that then a slick guitar solo and overall we’ve got a decent opener here. Recent single “Megalomaniacal” is up next and it brings the tempo with it too, mixing raw, punk qualities via Herma’s cacophonous vocals, with a classic hard rocking rhythm…also the “Mortal Kombat” inspired arcade game video that accompanies it is a bit bonkers to boot; all in all a fun track. “All Wanna Go To Heaven” then reaches an entirely different echelon as the albums clear stand-out track…the gradual build of seductive keys and simple percussion leading into cleaner vocals, capitalising on influences such as GARBAGE and NO DOUBT resulting in a perfectly catchy piece of pop music; the hooks and overall groove here will have you hitting repeat with no doubt ironically, this is superb.

The trouble with that is, the rest of the album can only go downhill, but it doesn’t go too far down it has to be said; “Hellawake” is another brilliant example of synth-pop combined with hard riffs and hushed ambiance for a solid, almost anthemic listen; layered incredibly well…”HeXxX (The Element Of Sex)” has a certain retro feel to it, partly channelling the likes of THE B52’S in tone giving it a fun, up-beat feel, while “Cryptid” utilises a pacey guitar driven approach, rich with gang vocals, melodies and subtle breakdowns for a well delivered ear-bashing, before closing track “C*mmunion” ends on a high note with more hooks and accessible pop-rock enjoyment. It’s not quite a perfect album over its ten tracks though sadly; “Slam!” despite being heavier and grittier musically plods along a touch too methodically, while “New Witch 666” undergoes a remix following its initial release in 2015…not the best of tracks to begin with, the revised cut gives it new life but it’s still weaker compared to what else is on offer. All in all however we have an undeniably strong album here and from start to finish these xenomorphs entertain on a number of levels. If we could just get Ash to sabotage the fuck out of their repair operation given his previous, maybe they’ll stick around a bit longer…because whilst sick they are indeed beautiful. [8]

Ah West Bromwich…while it may not have exactly been a year to remember for your beloved Albion, (It’s a football thing…they came bottom of the Premier League because they SUCK!) one thing you can always be proud of, is that you spawned one of the biggest and most influential metal bands of all time; JUDAS PRIEST. Having formed way back in 1969, the band went on to pioneer not only how bands approached playing heavy metal, but also the way metal as an entire image was perceived, introducing the now-iconic look of spiked / studded leather accessories, one that we now mostly view as a cliché. Despite their advancing years, and the likes of their fellow Brummie’s BLACK SABBATH calling it a day, Priest are still going hard and 2018 sees them release album 18; “Firepower”…but are they all guns blazing? Let’s find out…

We kick off with the title track and to be fair there isn’t a lot that can be said without going through the motions really, and that sums up the song itself. We’ve ticked all the boxes here regarding the traditional duel-guitar onslaught with pummelling drums, coupled with Rob Halford’s distinctive vocals, with a slick solo or two thrown in for good measure…it’s a decent track, a proper metal track and pretty much Priest by numbers really…or, well, ANY classic metal band by numbers for that matter. Follow up track “Lightning Strike” is predominantly more of the same really…there is a decent rhythm flowing through the track despite the gruff, often blunt delivery of Halford’s vocals in places but it’s still pretty run of the mill.

It’s not all a barrage of beige however…”Never The Heroes” utilises a strong, groove-heavy intro that builds up wonderfully into a solid, blue’s-based track that is brilliant in its simplicity, and the chorus is spot on; nothing extravagant but undeniably catchy…this is a clear album highlight. “No Surrender” is a short, sharp dose of classic metal but has ample, melodic guitar harmonies  and effective hooks during its brief run-time, resulting in another enjoyable listen, while closing track “Sea Of Red” initially swaps the aggression for subtle acoustics, as we end on a blissful power ballad. It gradually picks up the pace; even incorporating symphonic elements, but the change in overall style is a welcome swap indeed and a strong finale.

Elsewhere, well, I’m afraid over the 14 tracks on offer, the majority of it is just a little bit boring. “Evil Never Dies” is amusingly fitting as you feel that way about the song itself; it just methodically plods along  for what seems like forever, it has like, one hook pre-chorus and that’s about it. “Flame Thrower” despite its name really doesn’t ignite much interest…and the chorus sounds off vocally, it just doesn’t sound right. “Guardians” beautifully played piano intro sounds absolutely noble and heroic, but it’s just an interlude and ultimately disappoints, leading into “Rising From Ruins” which is consistent but generic at best and it’s a shame. For a band approaching their 50th anniversary it’s pretty impressive don’t get me wrong, they still play with passion and Rob Halford can still hold his own vocally, credit where it’s due, they’re far more entertaining that fellow dinosaurs THE ROLLING STONES…but just like fellow Brit metal veterans SAXON they’re running the risk of merely going through the motions now. As far as traditional metal goes, it’s fine, but like most branded clothing, you’re only paying for the name on the cover of this record. [6]

As you all know by now, every year I do a round up in some way shape or form, of the annual EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. Highly regarded in the UK as an absolutely cringe-worthy cheese-fest, it's no surprise we haven't won it for years, and that's without getting into the shows regular politics let alone the utter shambolic level of fuckery we've found ourselves in under the "leadership" of Theresa May and the current Conservative government...well actually no I'll blame Cameron too, the pig-poking prick! Regardless...we enter every year and hope to not come last essentially. The 2018 final will be held on Saturday 12th May and will take place in Lisbon, Portugal, after SALVADOR SOBRAL won the Ukraine 2017 competition...here I'll be taking a quick run down of all 26 qualified acts and giving my own personal individual score / opinion ahead of the live final...in order of live performance; let's begin...

1] UKRAINE: MELOVIN - "Under The Ladder". Aged just 21, opening the Eurovision Song Contest would seem like a daunting task for many, but Melovin (Real name Kostyantyn Mykolayovych Bocharov) is perfectly at home here, as winner of season 6 of Ukraine's version of The X-Factor. The track is an up-beat, rhythmic dance-pop piece which should in all honesty kick things off really well in terms of tempo and entertainment, but on record it isn't the most convincing vocal display in places and I just hope things don't fall flat for him on the night. 3/5

2] SPAIN: AMAIA Y ALFRED - "Tu Cancion". This is a track taken from Amaia Romero's album "Sus Canciones" and is a collaboration with one Alfred Garcia...sung in Spanish, it's one of the songs this year traditionally sung in the native language as used to be part of the rules before they relaxed things, and for all intents and purposes it's a soft piano ballad with elegant string sections...a lovely song in some aspects but luckily one of the boring ones is now out of the way early. 1/5

3] SLOVENIA: LEA SIRK - "Hvala, Ne!"...NE! NE! NE! We are the knight's who say...NE! *Ahem* All jokes aside, Slovenia's answer to MO / KESHA does a decent job of bringing a modern twist to proceedings. Utilizing a blend of hip-hop production and combining electronica with soulful pop, it's got a decent beat to it overall but it never truly takes off, with the chorus sadly coming across as anti-climatic compared to the level of expectancy of the track. 2/5

4] LITHUANIA: IEVA ZASIMAUSKAITE - "When We're Old". Ironically titled by the 24 year old, and despite her youth this isn't her first Euro rodeo! Having enrolled to compete in 2013, 2014, 2016 and 2017, she FINALLY get's her opportunity to represent her country in 2018. It's an honestly lovely song, focusing on Ieva's hushed, whispered vocals over a gentle piano lullaby...it's a slow one, and one that will rely on mood and emotions conveyed on the night, but it's a wonderfully tranquil track and should score well regardless. 2/5

5] AUSTRIA: CESAR SAMPSON - "Nobody But You". Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...having performed as part of backing vocals for two previous Austrian acts, Cesar finally get's his own shot. Arguably one of the first bandwagon jumpers this year, Cesar brings a fully emotive, gospel sound to Portugal with his blend of soulful pop music, hammered home by a strong melodic chorus...if you're a fan of RAG 'N' BONE MAN then expect to be giving Austria your vote this year... 3/5

6] ESTONIA: ELINA NECHAYEVA - "La Forza". The show isn't over until the fat lady sings...well as it happens Elina is far from fat and we're less than a quarter of our way through so buckle up! A classically trained Soprano, Elina brings a touch of class and vocal quality to proceedings this year, with her powerful vocal range and dramatic, operatic elements...if you're a fan of TARJA TURUNEN for example, you may want to send your vote Elina's way! 2/5

7] NORWAY: ALEXANDER RYBAK - "That's How You Write A Song". FEED. ME. MORE! Oh...sorry...wrong Ryback I was thinking about WWE for a second...but no in all seriousness, Alexander is technically a Eurovision veteran; he WON the competition back in 2009 with a track called "Fairytale"...can the young lad with the violin become a two-time winner this weekend? This funk-driven almost 70's inspired combination of tinny guitar and violin has plenty of energy, but will it be Norway or NO WAY!? You be the judge...2/5

8] PORTUGAL: CLAUDIA PASCOAL - "O Jardim". The hometown-hero as such, Claudia represents the hosts this year taking the torch from reigning champion SALVADOR SOBRAL and will be hoping Portugal can pull off an unexpected victory to retain the Eurovision Trophy for a 2nd consecutive year. Another acoustic/piano ballad, it's got quite a slow build and is honestly quite soppy, potentially risking too many similarities to last years winning song itself...they say lightning doesn't strike twice, I guess Saturday we'll find out. 1/5

9] UNITED KINGDOM: SuRie - "Storm". Oh boy...if you could find me a more fitting song for the UK for this competition I will do sexual things for you no questions asked...not only is the song already two years old and theoretically out-dated, lyrically and thematically it pretty much sums up the state of affairs regarding Britain and the EU and the whole Brexit debacle...metaphorically of course. Musically it is a decent pop track and has it's anthemic qualities but despite any positives I can't see us doing well at all this year...3/5

10] SERBIA: SANJA ILIC & BALKANIKA - "Nova Deca". There's always an entry with utilizes traditional middle-eastern tones and this track is that entry...and seriously what a long-ass intro, taking up nearly a third of the song! It's got a generally simple beat and does pick up, leading into an ultimately pleasant, up-tempo track with subtle dance tones, but it could have benefited  having more of this, less of the intro, as it's shot itself in the camel-toe essentially. 1/5

11] GERMANY: MICHAEL SCHULTE - "You Let Me Walk Alone". Another young talent with a background in reality TV; 28 year old Michael found mild success on Germany's version of The Voice in 2012, where he came third overall, before going on to release his debut album. This year we find him contributing yet another piano ballad to this years Eurovision playlist, and as you may have guessed it's another harmonious love-song with an impassioned climatic feel...again, nice but, it may get lost in the shuffle. 2/5

12] ALBANIA: EUGENT BUSHPEPA - "Mall"...I take one look at this guys name and I swear to god all I can think of is a bush-tucker trial...but my mental issues aside, here we have the first of our demographic-pleasing alternative entries. Eugent is a renowned rock performer in his home country and has actually supported the likes of DEEP PURPLE in mainland Europe, so he's got his credentials...but what is he offering here? A mellow, country-esque traditional folk-pop type piece with an acoustic lead and impressive vocals. It sounds good, I just wish I knew what he was saying. 2/5

13] FRANCE: MADAME MONSIEUR - "Mercy". France hardly needs the bad luck of performing 13th...their results have hardly been the most impressive in recent years, but they hope to change that in 2018. The ambient, synth-pop track follows on from recent success stories such as CHRISTINA & THE QUEENS and may go down well, and though there are no direct ties to the LGBT community, the whole MRS/MR approach could appeal to gender neutral's from an activist point of view...unless that's me looking far too deeply into what is essentially an annual song contest...2/5

14] CZECH REPUBLIC: MIKOLAS JOSEF - "Lie To Me". A potential favourite here depending on the right crowd...full of swagger and groove, Mikolas utilizes the southern blues inspired jazz tones of New Orleans to great effect here, rich in funk and passion, he confidently takes this track by the scruff and simply awaits the laudits of the Lisbon crowd. The recorded version does have some swearing in it, so that'll have to be edited during the final or he may find himself getting nil poi via disqualification... 3/5

15] DENMARK: RASMUSSEN - "Higher Ground". A man of many talents; Rasmussen (Real name Jonas) originally performed in a covers band, focusing on the likes of ELTON JOHN and ABBA, before he turned his attention to acting, focusing mainly on stage productions. 2018 see's him return to singing with this entry; a combination of power-pop and traditional, Nordic heritage in subtle tones. Despite the classic key-change sequence, it does lack a little oomph and falls just short of being an awesome entry. 3/5

16] AUSTRALIA: JESSICA MAUBOY - "We Got Love"...Hang on just a second let me just get Moe Sargi...'YO JESSICA MA BOI!" There we go...that's out of the way now...but no seriously Australia in Eurovision is still a thing. Yes it was novel having them there for the big anniversary show a couple of years ago but, despite not being anywhere remotely near Europe, here they are...the song itself is a generic, light, radio-pop song which wouldn't be out of place in some, teen Disney flick...it's fine but, I really don't see the point this year. 2/5

17] FINLAND: SAARA AALTO - "Monsters"...Finland you beautiful bastard of a country...as if you didn't already supply the world with some of the finest gothic metal and rock bands to ever grace the stage, you also have pop music nailed too by the looks! Saara Aalto ticks all the boxes having dueted with ADAM LAMBERT and ANDREA BOCELLI, not to mention having done voice acting for the Finnish dub of "Frozen", she's a proven voice. Here we have a sleek, electronic-pop monster in it's own right rich in hooks and mainstream appeal and it's an absolute top tune. All of the yes from me. 5/5

18] BULGARIA: EQUINOX - "Bones". Bulgaria's entry features yet another reality TV statistic in vocalist Zhana, who won Bulgaria's X-Factor in 2013...now, 5 years later we find them representing their country in Portugal with "Bones"...the haunting vocal tones and the predominantly dark-pop vibes of the song are pleasant enough, helped by its catchy chorus, but it sounds like a watered down version of "Skeletons" by 2017 Azerbaijan entry DIHAJ to me. 2/5

19] MOLDOVA: DoReDoS - "My Lucky Day". Three is the magic number as they say, and for this trio, it's third time lucky as they finally get to represent their country after failing to secure their place in both 2015 and 2016. Doritos as I shall call them from here on in, have a fun and up-beat approach this year combining modern pop with a GOGOL BORDELLO style of Oompa / alternative. 2/5

20] SWEDEN: BENJAMIN INGROSSO - "Dance You Off". One of the youngest performers at this years final in Lisbon, Benjamin started early and appeared in several Swedish musicals as a child and is hoping his performance experience can carry him through to another Swedish victory. With his soft vocals it can be said he's another JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE inspired pop-starlet but truth be told he's not of the same caliber previous Swedish winner MANS ZELMERLOW, he lacks that spark. A harmless pop song but I'm not expecting big things. 1/5

21] HUNGARY: AWS - "Vinszlat Nyar". Ever since LORDI won it for Finland back in 2006 there's almost always a rock song or two thrown into the mix to shake things up a bit and here we have that very token rock song. AWS deliver on all fronts with a strong melody and even stronger riffs for their hard rock performance, even including that cliched key-change and it has to be said it's a solid track...it wont win but it is a banger. 4/5

22] ISRAEL: NETTA - "Toy". While it's one thing to question Australia's inclusion in what is essentially a European competition, it can be said that you have to question Israel too...although politically and economically they are at least tied to the EU so there's that....anyway I digress this is a song contest not BBC Question Time. Netta Barzilai is an outsiders bet if ever there was one! A fun and up-tempo track for the most part, combining western pop influences with middle eastern traditions...it's a decent listen, that is until the random chicken noises...seriously I don't know if it's a gimmick or an affliction. 3/5

23] THE NETHERLANDS: WAYLON - "Outlaw In Em'". Real name Willem Bijkirk, he acquired his stage name after the late Waylon Jennings as means of a tribute and is no stranger to Eurovision. As part of THE COMMON LINNETS he finished runner-up back in 2014 and hopes to go one step further 4 years later. Mixing bluegrass with southern rock swagger, fans of BLACK STONE CHERRY and the like are sure to give him the nod of approval and send a vote his way. 4/5

24] IRELAND: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together". Despite a lack of luck in recent years, Ireland are still the ones to beat as they've won Eurovision a record seven times since its inception, and they hope to add another victory in Portugal this year.Another TV talent show statistic, Ryan O'Whatshisface appeared in Britain's Got Talent back in 2012, reaching the final only to finish in 5th place...will he do better here? Another sweet, acoustic/piano ballad, it doesn't truly stand out as such but he's got enough Irish charm to win the voting public over...perhaps. 2/5

25] CYPRUS: ELENI FOUREIRA - "Fuego". Apparently Eleni here is the bookies favourite and I've been scratching my head to work out how and why...with her typically modern autotune-laden pop qualities I guess she'd make quick and easy money in the charts commercially, given the success of everyone from DEMI LOVATO to DUA LIPA and the like...it's decent enough pop song for what it's worth and catchy enough but, it's nothing special per se...we'll see. 3/5

26] ITALY: ERMAL META E FABRIZIO MORO - "Non Me Avete Fatto Niente"...It takes longer to say that than they'll stay in the top 10 this year if you ask me...it's emotive enough with its almost cinematic qualities in places but songs spoken in native tongue are hit and miss and never a guarantee...it might benefit from being on last in some eyes, but to many it'll be an afterthought as the audience suffers from fatigue and burnout, and it's hardly a climatic showstopper...I can't see this doing overly well. 2/5

So...there we have it...my run down of the 2018 Eurovision final! Have you heard any of the songs yet? Are you happy with your countries entry and more important;y, who will you be voting for? Leave your comments below, but for now...it's over to Graham Norton to entertain us with his commentary.

Recently, we in the UK have seemingly gone out of our way to make damn sure we’re a laughing stock in mainland Europe, with ‘The Wicked Witch Of The West-Minster’ Theresa May doing little to nothing to stop the likes of Brussels making us look like idiots on the world stage in the shadow of Brexit, and this weekend we shall see that trend continue, as we drown our sorrows in Bailey’s at the 2018 Eurovision song contest. I swear to god, given the mess we’re in we may as-actually-fucking-well submit Boris Johnson as our entry this year; we have THAT much confidence in this year’s competition! As you may know by now, every year I take a look back at the previous year’s winner to see what they’ve done with their fame and success, and today we avert our attention to Portugal’s own SALVADOR SOBRAL.

The 28 year old from Lisbon won the competition last year in Ukraine, marking Portugal’s 1st victory in like, forever…seriously…they’d never won it in 53 years, and he did so using a song his sister wrote called “Amar Pelos Dois”, setting a new points record (Having said that they keep meddling with the voting so expect this year’s winner to have like, a million points)…I went to check to see what he had released since his historic victory, only to find that he’d released…a live album. That’s it. Live versions of now two year old songs…so…with that said, let’s go back to 2016 shall we, where we actually have an album to go through…this is “Excuse Me”…and mate, I’ll judge if you’re to be excused or not…

We open up with that very title track and what is actually pleasant is the fact we find Salvador singing in English, swapping out his native tongue…musically it’s a quaint little piano ballad combined with soft jazz-lounge qualities, aided by the cushioned, slightly hushed, slightly husky vocals; in ways you could say he was Portugal’s answer to JAMIE CULLUM on the basis of this track; an innocent start this. Follow up “Nada Que Esperar” continues with the soothing jazz tones of the piano / double bass combination, and given it’s rough translation of ‘Nothing To Hope For’ you can feel the sadness in the performance, the acceptance of life’s situations per se and it’s very mellifluous in its own meager way.

The majority of the record flows at a steady and reliable pace, rarely diverting from its jazz-based roots, it’s a very easy-listening record really, the kind of album you’d find yourself putting on after a long day at work, sat and listened to with a glass of red with your feet up, and this is backed up by tracks like “Ready For Love Again”; with its delicately tickled piano and caressing, harmonious string sections, it’s a lulling album highlight. Speaking of lulling we have “I Might Just Stay Away” which at just over 6-minutes is the longest track here, and really emphasizes those lullaby-esque characteristics, sounding like the kind of gentle music that would come from a little girls jewelry box. The real highlights however come courtesy of “After You’ve Gone”, which is a short, up-beat quirky piece of jazz which was originally written in 1918 and has been performed by everyone from the aforementioned Cullem, to the late JUDY GARLAND, and “Autumn In New York”, which was made famous in 1949 by Ol’ Blue Eyes himself; FRANK SINATRA.

Overall I have to be honest, as far as Eurovision winners go, compared to some, I did find Salvador’s entry pretty damn dull last year and was surprised when he won (Although he got a sympathy vote through prior heart surgery and played sneaky political games with his refugees shirt) but going back to this previous album, I’ll admit he is capable of better things. Granted, this is a lot more relaxed than my usual tastes but it’s a decent modern jazz record with enough throwback appeal to keep fans satisfied. I will excuse you…JUST about. [4]

As you know I’ve been taking a look at a selection of bands, forwarded to me by the team over at Stencil and it’s resulted in a fair amount of globe-trotting; a cornucopia of cultural cluster-fucks ranging from maritime grunge to prehistoric pop-punk…last time we found ourselves in Australia covering up-and-coming metalcore mob PATIENT SIXTY-SEVEN but now we’re swapping the surfing and sunshine, for snow and uh, Siberian temperatures? Yes we’re off to Finland today, a country famous for its impressive level of Gothic metal bands, but that’s where these guys stick out like a sore thumb; let me introduce you to JOENSUU RIIHIMÄKI. Having formed in Turku, the Americana-inspired outfit comprising of vocalist Sami Joensuu and guitarist Kari Riihimäki (Hence the name, they’ve done a Brangelina) and completed by drummer Moilu Moilanen, released their debut album “Greetings From The Edge Of The World” back in 2015 but now they’re back with a brand new album by the name of “Highwater”. The question is…voivatko suomalaiset todella maata ja länsimaita?

The album opens up with “Hillbilly Falls” and initially you can’t help but think that they’re going all “Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil” on us but while it may well in fact suit the film stylistically, there’s no level of parody here. It’s very stripped back and classical in its approach to old-school retro rock and roll; simple guitar tones, piano accompaniment…in ways it finds itself blending the likes of STATUS QUO with southern blues rock. There’s a certain gruff delivery to Sami’s vocals but in places he can’t help but come across as a tad flat and it’s his vocal tone that holds an otherwise decent track down. “21” follows up immediately and we’re met with a far mellower piece of music; it’s very light with a loose, flowing delivery and really it’s quite quaint, perfect for relaxing in the sunshine on your porch, sat in the swing-chair with a bottle of Miller High Life…you forget they’re Finnish!

Elsewhere “The Ballad Of James John Belcaire” hypnotizes the listener with the sweetest of acoustic campfire ballads…Sami’s husky delivery really works here benefiting the track, which itself has a wonderfully charming, semi-medieval aesthetic, if you can imagine the days of old; of minstrels…backed by some sweet flute work, it lulls you into a sense of total relaxation and it’s a definite album highlight. “I’ve Not Heard?” reverts to the classic blues rock tones heard previously but here incorporating a subtle, 70’s psychedelic influence and you can hear THE DOORS being channeled through your speakers. Some of the tracks fail to inspire mind you; “Keep On Marching” is an incredibly slow, lifeless track…honestly it’s just boring…It’s called the blues but this is just a variety of grey's, sans kinks…“Missing Zoe. B” throws in sound bites from TV news reports and it really doesn’t suit the genre, before closing track “The Garden Road” virtually kills the album with an incredibly annoying piano loop…it’s nearly as bad as the score from “Werewolf Rising” (I’m not even going to go into that) though the passionate guitar driven climax at least tries in vain to salvage the track. Ultimately what we have here is an interesting musical culture clash, at times the Finns deliver an enjoyable, easy-listening album, but it lacks in consistency in terms of quality to warrant many repeat listens. Highwater by name but, it’s just a bit stagnant really. [5]

Back last year you may remember I covered not one but two SAXON compilations courtesy of two special collectors sets; ”Decade Of The Eagle”, a sort of best-of comprising of the band’s first ten years together…and “The Solid Book Of Rock”, a collection specifically covering the bands work from 1991 all the way through to 2009…by the end of it, having listened to nearly 40 years of work, I felt like I’d gone through more Saxon history than an entire season of fucking Time Team…I was literally THIS close to going on a crusade…nevertheless I got through it and I could finally put down my sword and shield, or so I thought. 2018 see’s the heavy metal veteran’s return yet again with their 22nd studio album “Thunderbolt”…let’s check it out.

We open up with “Olympus Rising” and like its name suggests we’re met with an ominous, foreboding intro…the home of the gods, the slow build of the guitar and subtle percussion layered over some almost ritualistic chanting sets a serious tone…something big is coming and it’s all very dramatic as we lead into the album’s title track. The guitars kick in with some hefty riffs before it settles into their trademark, classic metal inspired sound. Biff still has a decent voice on him despite his aging years, singing of Hades and Greek mythological history and they have substantial weight behind them, sounding just like they did decades ago, just with better production quality, although there is a brief guitar solo that sounds really off, tarnishing an otherwise decent metal track.

​Highlights here include “They Played Rock And Roll”, which with its fast paced delivery and appropriately thrash-based intensity is dedicated to MOTORHEAD following the deaths of Lemmy, Fast Eddie and Philthy Animal Taylor, and it’s a touching inclusion, showing solidarity in metal. “The Secret Of Flight” is rich in groove-led guitar melody, while “Nosferatu (The Vampire’s Waltz)” captures the essence of the 1922 silent horror wonderfully, on par with BLUE OYSTER CULT in fact, re-telling the story over some symphonic inspired metal. There are some sub-par moments here sadly however, which makes for an album of two halves, with it starting really strong and ending on a somewhat flat note…”Speed Merchants” and “Roadie’s Song” in particular bring the album down with their poor, almost clichéd lyrical content, especially the latter…and there’s a raw cut of “Nosferatu…” which serves no purpose being there, too much time in the sun that one. There is an interesting collaboration with AMON AMARTH front-man Johan Hegg for the track “Predator” but his death metal growls are a little too much for Saxon’s style of play if you ask me and it sounds a little disjointed. Other than that it’s a decent metal album and you have to applaud any band that has such longevity. [6]

Just a couple of short weeks ago, I returned to Nottingham on what’s become a sort of annual Winter Goth pilgrimage…yes myself and my better half got the opportunity to visit Rock City to say our goodbyes to our favourite lads from Finland; HIM. Their “Bang And Whimper” farewell tour was announced out of the blue earlier this year and it was as you can expect, an emotional night in Nottingham, tears were shed, several were my own…and I’d like to take this opportunity to again express my gratitude for all the guys have done for both music and myself. As a unit they were one of a kind and in my opinion criminally underrated by many…we shall miss you greatly. However, as they say, when one door closes another opens and no gig would be complete without a support band and that’s why we’re here today.

Let me introduce you to BITERS…formed in Atlanta, Georgia, the four-piece (Consisting of lead vocalist Tuk, guitarist Matt, bassist Phillip and drummer Joey) joined HIM on four dates around the UK and in all honesty there were several complaints before the tour even began. You see when HIM performed their American dates, they were joined by CKY and to many this was the perfect line up, calling Americans lucky fuckers, and many dismissed Biters outright out of bitterness…but how they would eat humble pie when the tour came around. With a style deeply rooted in the hey-days of glam rock, they whipped up the crowd with a warm feeling of nostalgic rock ‘n’ roll and won the vast majority of people over. Impressed, I immediately looked them up and discovered they had released a new album this year; “The Future Ain’t What It Used To Be”…let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Let It Roll” and quicker than you can slip into your skinny jeans we’re wriggling our hips to some good, old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll charm. After a brief build-up of simple percussion and minimalist guitar work we’re thrust into an up-beat dose of classic rock, mixed with youthful vigour…in a weird way imagine STEEL PANTHER and BOWLING FOR SOUP had a child…it’s a fun start and sets the tone well. “Stone Cold Love” gives the listener a real feel for their influences as we’re teleported right back to the 70’s and the glam-rock stylistics of T-REX etc…it again plods along with a simplicity but the chorus is truly infectious and Tuk (AKA Noel Fielding) here truly channels his inner Marc Bolan for this one…the references to vinyl adding extra nostalgic value and it’s a wonderfully enjoyable little track.

“Don’t Turn This Good Heart Bad” is another of the albums stand-out tracks with its innocent pop-hooks and clap-along cheer, it really is a wonderful little love song and again channels all of that 70’s charm, likewise with “Chasin’ The Feeling”…a no nonsense swagger-fuelled dose of melodious rock ‘n’ roll rollicking…while album highlight “Vulture City” really hits the nail on the head with all of the aforementioned but with far more bite and attitude…this is infectious as fuck, reminiscent of VEINS OF JENNA and THE 69 EYES early garage days in ways…incredible stuff. There are naturally weaker moments as we can expect a lull on most records…”Gypsy Rose” again channels everything T-REX and sounds like something you’d hear on “Top Of The Pops 2” re-runs…”Hollywood” highlight’s an irony, speaking of longing to be on the infamous walk of fame…yet with over 2,600 stars on the boulevard, it’s value is diminished and the ballad here comes across as tongue-in-cheek, before “Goin’ Back To Georgia” closes proceedings with a clichéd acoustic led ballad type piece…a soppy, happy ending about heading home…a lighters in the air type track, it’s sickly sweet. For a band of this ilk to be signed to Earache Records, it’s surprising really but it’s no different to NICKELBACK being signed to Roadrunner…a great classic rock ‘n’ roll album this for a modern generation and they bridge the gap well…they went fishing on tour with HIM and we’re all biters at the end of the day, and I’m not ashamed to have been caught. [7]

It’s been an incredibly nostalgic year for SAXON…as they slowly approach their 40th anniversary, the Yorkshire based veterans have taken us on a trip down memory lane of late, celebrating their heritage and educating new generations on how they became one of the most important and influential metal bands of all time, flying the flag for not only metal, but Britain too as part of the NWOBHM (New wave of British heavy metal). Inspired by the likes of IRON MAIDEN and MOTORHEAD, Saxon, led by front-man Biff Byford, have had one hell of an illustrious and prolific career, releasing an incredible 21 studio albums and in 2017 they’ve been dusting off some classics courtesy of some new collectors sets. Earlier this year we were treated to “The Solid Book Of Rock”…a wonderfully packaged set of albums covering everything from 1991’s “Solid Ball Of Rock” all the way to 2009’s “Into The Labyrinth”…showcasing the bands ability to withstand the test of time in an ever changing musical landscape…but they’re going further this time…far back, right to the beginning with “Decade Of The Eagle”…set for release on November 17th, “Decade…” highlight’s the band’s first ten years; from their emergence through the most commercially successful years of their career which included gold and platinum selling albums and multiple chart positions…let’s check it out…

The two-disk compilation appropriately opens up with a selection of tracks from 1979’s historical debut; “Saxon” and it’s here where it all began…given the time, we were in the very earliest days of metal and it’s a far cry from today’s brutality, with a sound having borrowed more from rock ’n’ roll. Here you can hear a band trying to find their feet, with “Stallions Of The Highway” and “Militia Guard” proving to be raw and pacey…the production quality wasn’t great but it’s here their journey began, marking a milestone in metal history. From there however, things would pick up big time…as follow up release, 1980’s “Wheels Of Steel” sped up the charts to their highest ever position at number 5 and the band would never look back. With better production quality and a sound more rooted in blues rock, the band would release one of their most popular songs of all time “747 (Strangers In The Night)” and the seeds were sewn for success…seeds that quickly blossomed as they released not one but TWO albums in 1980, following up with “Strong Arm Of The Law”. While not charting as high, reaching number 11…it made up for a lack of standout hits, despite “Dallas 1pm” (Written about the Kennedy assassination) with a more consistent writing quality and the album is considered one of the best in the bands discography by many, many fans. Just a year later then, they broke into the top 10 once more with 1981’s “Denim And Leather”…there was no stopping them! With subtle nods to their beginnings, they included a slicker, classic rock feel into their sound and the title track became an anthem for the metal lifestyle as we came to know it, musically and fashionably transcending style…

Disk two then gets us going with highlights from 1983’s “Power And The Glory” returning yet again to the Top 20 kicking off with “This Town Rocks” and a return to their frenetic hard rock roots, paying homage to the likes of Motorhead, contrasting the generally slower “Midas Touch” which focused on a catchy chorus balancing a more ballad-driven piece, delivering another solid collection of songs. In 1984 we saw Saxon release their final album for the Carrere record label; “Crusader”…a touch softer than previous releases, it garnered its criticisms, and the single “Sailing To America” does suffer from repetition, an anticlimactic end to the relationship with their label. Their form soon picked up again however when they joined to EMI and released 1985’s “Innocence Is No Excuse” and the bulk of disk two’s content is taken from this…tracks like “Rockin’ Again” and “Rock ‘N’ Roll Gypsy” again using classic rock and slick guitar tones to their advantage, which can also be said for 1986’s “Rock The Nations”…Saxon, already established by now, dabble in subtle glam-rock elements for tracks such as “Waiting For The Night” and shock horror, using acoustics and piano for “Northern Lady”, showing they were far from a one-trick pony with another power ballad not sounding out of place whatsoever, before we round off the collection and the decade with a couple of tracks from 1988’s “Destiny”, which includes a cover of “Ride Like The Wind” by Texan songwriter CHRISTOPHER CROSS and the scorching “Red Alert”, ending the collection on a hard rocking high note.

Whereas sounds and styles have changed multiple times over the years, with new genres and fads coming and going with each decade…one thing that will always stand the test of time is metal and here, Saxon prove that like the rock royalty they are…having pounded out so many classics in such a relatively short space of time shows just how important and influential a band they are, even to this day, paving the way for many acts such as the mighty METALLICA…this collection of songs highlights the heydays of heavy metal in all of its unashamed glory and Saxon were at the forefront of a revolution, helping lay the foundations of one of the world’s longest standing genres of music…many would argue it’s more than that, many would say it’s a way of life and thanks to bands like Saxon, we still live for the denim and leather. [8]

Rovio Entertainment, the creators behind the hugely popular mobile app game ANGRY BIRDS have teamed up with the one and only IRON MAIDEN this Halloween, bringing you an exclusive gaming experience! Yes, Maiden's world famous mascot and heavy metal icon in his own right; EDDIE will become a playable character in "Angry Birds Evolution" as "Eddie The Bird"...a tribute to the character.

Miika Tams, VP Games and Product Lead for the project states "Our team is filled with massive Iron Maiden fans and Eddie was both our first choice and a natural fit in Angry Birds Evolution...It's about time his status as a true rock icon was celebrated and we know that fans will love seeing Eddie The Bird raise hell on Bird Island!"

Available for two weeks as a character event celebrating Halloween from October 18th, players who successfully recruit Eddie will get to keep him permanently as a member of their Angry Birds team...Llexi Leon, Interactive Creative Director at Phantom Music Management went on to say; "When you get a call from Rovio, one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world confessing that they are Maiden fans and want to celebrate Halloween with Eddie, you just have to take notice. They have outdone themselves with this incredible tribute to Maiden and the opportunity to share the bands music with their millions of players around the world. I really can't wait to play him and skittle those pigs!"

The island in-game will become an exclusively themed heavy metal oasis with a selection of Eddie evolution's to choose from, based on classic Maiden album art work, as well as featuring 100+ new colourful characters. The game is available as a free download from the iTunes App store as well as Google Play. "Can I Play With Madness?" Bruce Dickinson once asked...probably, but you can definitely play Angry Birds. Download it now.

Do you believe in a thing called love? Well apparently you did back in 2003…yes 14 years ago, a little band from Lowestoft in Suffolk called THE DARKNESS ejaculated onto the scene like the most flamboyant of glam rock money shots with their debut album “Permission To Land”…the old-school rock ‘n’ rollers (fronted by spandex-clad mad man Justin Hawkins) instantly became hot property after an immensely successful year (They held off the mighty IRON MAIDEN at the top of the charts and won everything from Kerrang! to Brit Awards…they even had a stab at the coveted Christmas Number 1!)…they were touted as saviors of British rock with a multi-platinum selling album and the world was theirs for the taking…but somehow it all went wrong. In the wake of their follow up; 2005’s “One Way Ticket To Hell…And Back”, Justin left the band, tired of the whole process of recording and touring, coupled with a stint in rehab, and ultimately, the band split up…after such promise, that one way ticket would never find its way back…or so we thought. Fast forward a couple of years and after a reformation, we find them in 2017 releasing their fifth album; “Pinewood Smile”…enduring one-hit wonders or a long lost treasure? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “All The Pretty Girls” and after a slow-building, droning guitar intro we’re met with Hawkins unmistakable shriek…his falsetto vocals giving the band enough of a unique edge to earn them their popularity early on but over time it’s become sort of a gimmick and detracts from the song to a degree…musically it’s solid rock with a fairly decent solo to boot, one thing that can be said is that instrumentally they’ve always delivered…a shaky start. Follow up “Buccaneers Of Hispaniola” is an immediate remedy however…an early album highlight, it’s got a brilliant rhythm, it’s incredibly slick and some wonderful indie-rock hooks, couple with some enjoyable riffs, this is a quality song and is much better overall, this is The Darkness on form.

As I mentioned, musically, The Darkness have never disappointed…”Solid Gold” capitalises on the classic rock influence, the AC/DC and DEF LEPPARD inspired riffs, but the song has a very tongue-in-cheek feel, attacking the industry and their critics with their trademark blend of humour…speaking of which, “Southern Trains” is a brash and punk-inspired piece…but being so very British, we have a song about delayed services and rail commutes…while “Japanese Prisoner Of Love”…about the uh, intimacies of prison relationships shall we say…dropping the soap and such…is a generally quirky track, albeit random. “I Wish I Was In Heaven” has another strong indie-rock vibe with pop elements, but again those vocals seem like their being milked, we get it, Justin can hit some impressive notes but, here they spoil a generally decent song, before we finish up on “Stampede Of Love”…while yes, it does have Western qualities, a stampede conjures up images of chaos, frantic animals, galloping across the plains…this has all the urgency of a galloping sloth. The deluxe edition has four extra songs…”Rack Of Glam”, Justin’s tribute to tits I guess, while there’s a sweet but peculiar acoustic track about losing his virginity, although nothing entirely memorable. While it’s fair to say, I honestly don’t think The Darkness will ever match the glory of their debut, and to be honest I think they know that too, so really it’s unfair to compare everything they do to that first album…look what happened to LINKIN PARK with “Hybrid Theory”…for what it’s worth it’s a decent record with some enjoyable moments and some good, solid rock ‘n’ roll…but it’s not a world beater…solid bronze if anything…[6]

I’ve often talked about legends and icons here; the artists who started it all, just as likely to pick up a pension as they are an instrument these days…let’s be honest (and without meaning to sound disrespectful) you’re as likely to find early Rolling Stones records on an episode of Time Team as you are in HMV…but, these bands did pave the way for music as we know it after all. I’ve mentioned several bands that defined eras in these pages, the usual suspects like Sabbath and Maiden etc…but rarely have I touched upon specific individuals. Well, all that is about to change…Vincent Furnier was born in Detroit, Michigan way back in 1948 and would grow up to become one of the most iconic rock ‘n’ roll stars of all time under the moniker ALICE COOPER…with a career in both music and movies spanning nearly 50 years, he’s become a pop-culture icon far surpassing his status as “The Godfather Of Shock Rock”, but it’s that very gimmick that kick started it all, giving the world of rock ‘n’ roll one of its most charismatic and theatrical performers of all time, influencing the likes of ROB ZOMBIE and WEDNESDAY 13 and recently, he released his 27th (Twenty seventh!) studio album…”Paranormal”…has the shock rocker still got it in him or like and episode of Most Haunted, will all we get be a series of questionable noises…let’s find out…

We get underway with the title track and it simply oozes nostalgia through its guitar tone alone, it’s got a proper classic feel through its riffs and melody, the slow build…there’s an air of drama to the whole thing despite its general simplicity, and in keeping with the theme its quite the haunting love song, an unobtainable love after death, a mere memory and in ways it’s quite sad, however the song comes to life itself with a rather slick old-school solo…it’s very emotive and provides good contrast, and furthermore a solid opening track…speaking of solid tracks, Cooper proves he still has enough to offer at this stage in his career with several enjoyable offerings dotted throughout the album; “Paranoiac Personality” has a slow, plodding build just like the opener, the bass is very prominent here, it’s quite groovy this one but lyrically insecure, talking about a target on his back and there’s a brief inclusion of the “Psycho” shower score which adds character, it’s well done.

“Fallen In Love” is rich in blues tones paying homage to rocks southern roots with another quality solo and it’s no wonder, as ZZ TOP guitarist Billy Gibbons is at hand to lend his services and it shows…while “Holy Water” includes some wonderfully cheery brass elements, it’s got another catchy chorus and the jazz-infused up-tempo approach works well, mixing things up nicely, but the highlight has to be “Fireball”; it’s bass heavy, scruffy, riff-driven raw energetic guitar is full of attitude and sounds like it was plucked straight out of the 70’s in a good way, this is a track with heritage and it’s a pleasure to listen to. The album isn’t without its minor faults however…”Dead Flies” struggles to inspire over its two minute play time plus vocally its far poorer, and “The Sound Of A” could pass for a discarded BLUE OYSTER CULT track…however, any faults here are minor and overall we have a pretty solid album from the veteran rocker. He might be way past shocking in this day and age, I don’t even think shock rock exists anymore quite frankly, everyone is so desensitized, but here he proves he can still deliver after all these years. Who the fuck is Alice?! Alice Cooper…that’s who… [7]

If you’re a fan of THE 69 EYES, or ever have been during the bands gothic-era, you’ll no doubt know of front man Jyrki 69 (real name Jyrki Linnankivi) and his love of all things blues and ELVIS style rock ‘n’ roll. The influence has been growing over time, and is unmistakable on the track “Borderline” taken from the most recent album “X”, with the tracks video even being filmed in Louisiana, the home of the blues, so really then it comes as no surprise that Jyrki would eventually put his efforts into a side project where he could focus purely on his musical love affair with this southern style of rockabilly groove, and he has. Meet, THE 69 CATS. Featuring members of THE CRAMPS and BLONDIE, this super-group of sorts have just released their début album; “Transylvanian Tapes”…let’s see what this Helsinki vampire’s sunk his teeth into…

Kicking off with a cover of THE DOORS classic “People Are Strange”, here he pays homage to the late Jim Morrison with a fresh take on a timeless song, a great album opener, before next up we’re treated to a reworked edition of “Sunglasses After Dark” by The Cramps, the rockabilly style really suiting this track and it’s a fun, energetic number.

Next up we've got another unmistakable classic, “Runaway”, by DEL SHANNON, originally released in 1961 but covered numerous times over the years; it’s still a great song to this day and always a pleasure to hear, which can also be said for “Edge Of Reality”, a brilliant piece by Elvis taken from his movie “Live A Little, Love A Little” in 1968. A few more covers in the form of “Werewolves Of London” by WARREN ZEVON and the surprise inclusion of “Girls On Film” by DURAN DURAN keep the album ticking on, some nice smooth instrumental sections like “Necromance For Guitar” and “69 Guitars”, before we finish up on “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”, a shortened down but absolutely brilliant cover of the BAUHAUS track from 1982, keeping his gothic roots in plain sight; superb.

As much as we long to see the next instalment from The 69 Eyes, seeing the effort and passion that’s gone into The 69 Cats it’s literally impossible to complain about the Finnish goth’s absence. This may be cover-heavy in content, but they’re quality covers. “Transylvanian Tapes” is well worth a listen for any neutral fan of rock ’n’ roll, and let’s just hope tapes means plural, and we’ll one day see another instalment. Cats have nine lives after all…or should I say 69? [8]


The album "Transylvanian Tapes" is available on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/transylvanian-tapes/id895515231

Classic rock or metal aren't just genres, like pop-punk or nu-metal, it’s called classic for a reason, the songs and artists have stood the test of time, foundations were laid, benchmarks were set and legends were born. Even now in 2014, you will see bands forming around the world that cite their influences as say, METALLICA or IRON MAIDEN, for example, hoping to emulate their heroes or, “defend the faith” as popular monthly metal magazine METAL HAMMER would say…and one of these such bands comes from Dorset, England. That band is called ETERNAL ENDEAVOUR and they’re about to drop their début EP; “Out Of Ashes”.

The 4-track EP kicks off with “Fallen Angel” and straight away we’re greeted by the galloping bass-driven influence of Iron Maiden, there’s some decent riff-work on offer here from the fresh faced metallers, and given that it’s all been recorded in drummer Chris Ewan’s home studio, it’s quite respectable, however for an opening track, it does go on a bit.

The title track starts off relatively hushed, a well worked build up, leading on to some slick guitar work, there’s a great vibe about the track as a whole, musically, with that classic style they aimed for easily recognisable, flowing through your speakers, while “Give It All” is a relatively slow burner and plods along harmlessly, before we finish up on “Road To Nowhere”. This sounds like we’re going to end up on a high note. There’s a sense of intensity and hunger, and it’s one of the more traditionally heavy sounding tracks on offer here with this EP, a solid ending.

Musically, or to the point instrumentally, the EP is a decent effort, you can hear the influence, the style is clear, the tracks are well played, but, when you think of all the big classic rock and metal bands, what stands out? Vocalists...name them; Bruce Dickinson, Rob Halford, Dio…all of them in a league of their own, each of them making their band THAT much better. Sadly, for Eternal Endeavour, Jon Belfield is not of that calibre…and while he gives it his all, credit to him, you can hear in places his voice just isn't powerful enough for this kind of music, based on these recordings at least anyway. For now though, I say give benefit of the doubt, allow them time to grow, maybe record with an established producer, and see where they can take it. The key word here is endeavour, after all. [5]


Eternal Endeavour on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EternalEndeavour 
Eternal Endeavour on Twitter: https://twitter.com/EEndeavour

Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s more than just a slogan, an image associated with rock and metal, for some, it literally is a way of life, and no one lives by this code more unequivocally than California’s STEEL PANTHER…especially the parts involving sex. Having been around since the early 2000’s going by several different identities before settling on their current name, the four-piece, (consisting of vocalist Michael Starr, guitarist Satchel, bassist Lexxi Foxx and drummer Stix Zadinia) are essentially the ultimate parody band. With a love for over-the-top, comical sexual references and a tongue-in-cheek sense of nostalgia, Steel Panther take inspiration from the likes of MOTLEY CRUE, throw in some of the most ridiculous lyrics you will probably ever hear, and go out of their way to have a good time all of the time. With previous albums “Feel The Steel” and “Balls Out” gaining them not only success but notoriety, 2014 see’s the release of record number three; “All You Can Eat”. Let’s get stuck in.

Track one, “Pussywhipped” starts off with some unusually soft Spanish guitar, which is unexpected to say the least, but it soon livens up with Stix and Satchel tearing into some classic sounding metal guitar licks and pounding drums, while Starr gives his own quirky take on the subject matter lyrically.  Generally though, the long intro doesn't really add anything to the song and really just sounds out of place, and the song itself isn't one of Panther’s best, a mediocre introduction to the new album. “Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World” is the albums lead single, and pretty much speaks for itself. It’s basically an excuse to let your hair down and do whatever the hell you want, have as much sex as you physically can (even including animals, if you’re into that sort of thing), get stupidly drunk, rob a bank, steal a plane…whatever you can think of. The idea behind the song had potential to be highly amusing, but it feels a bit slow and doesn't really inspire much partying to be honest.

“Bukkake Tears” has a gentle vibe about it, some slick guitar work but a generally mellow song, you can’t help but laugh at lines such as “there was so much love on your face, I couldn't see the tears…”, basically a song about a couple inviting some extra players into the bedroom, but with the girl in question ultimately regretting the decision. A great porn ballad, if such a thing even exists…before “Gangbang At The Old Folks Home” equally intrigues and terrifies at the same time. “The place was packed with wrinkly boobies and dicks, the youngest one there was maybe 76”…lovely…just lovely.

“Fucking My Heart In The Ass” and “B.V.S.” are just as absurd as the other, with that free-flowing classic rock sound the band have come to excel at driving the songs forward, the latter especially so, an album highlight, before we finish up on the cringe worthy “She’s On The Rag”. It’s probably on par with the old folk’s home in terms of its lyrical content, it’s up to you if that’s a good thing or not.

Basically then, if you’re already a fan of Steel Panther, it’s a bit of a given that you’ll probably enjoy this third album without question, the band have retained all the elements of their first two records that made them popular and delivered another dose of quality rock, aided by their own brand of crude comedy song writing. As musicians it’s clear they know their stuff and write some great pieces, but, as a gimmick, there is only so much toilet humour you can recycle before it loses its immature appeal and stops being funny. There are one or two signs of that happening already, with the new album taking a while to get going. It’s worth a listen but it’s not their best. [6]


"All You Can Eat" is available on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/all-you-can-eat-bonus-track/id795081205