Allow me to preface the following review, with an outpouring of regret, grief, more regret, bewilderment and, a little bit more regret, through a literary veil of self-therapy. There was absolutely zero reason, obligating me to conduct the following review, but, at the same time, there was absolutely EVERY reason that I couldn’t NOT do this review. This is the review equivalent of Hogan v Warrior at WrestleMania VI, but with more baby oil...let me set the stage. 

You know by now that, while I am perfectly capable of writing a decent, or at the very least, serious review, whether here or over on ALL ABOUT THE ROCK, I get my kicks out of the more, unusual and questionable releases available to me. I can point my finger at the likes of, KIM PETRAS, or, going back to COREY FELDMAN; I like a challenge, but this is the sort of thing that can break a man. This can Brokeback Mountain the fuck out of a man...this is “Ram Ranch” by GRANT MACDONALD, and I blame young Charlie Bryant for this 1 hour and 7 minutes of audio torture. Even the inmates at Guantanamo Bay would feel sorry for me here, but, fuck it...saddle up, we’re going in (Dry)… 

Firstly, who IS Grant Macdonald? Little is known about this alleged Canadian, other than that he might be Canadian, and his name might be Grant Macdonald...he’s like the BANKSY of homoerotic cowboy rock. The album we’re tackling today originally came out in 2012, so, aside from being a rare case of retrospective reviewing from me, we’ve had a decade to process, and at times, begrudgingly accept “Ram Ranch”. It’s been used as pro-LGBTQ+ content in protests and rallies, and over its existence it became a running meme and an ongoing source of absurdity. To this day Grant has apparently released SIX HUNDRED variants of “Ram Ranch”, which is frankly both impressive and alarming. Dude has a passion, what can I say? With that said, the only way is down, as we process this piece of... art? 

The album opens up with the title track, and, we initially have a dose of rather subdued heavy metal instrumentation, with all of the riffs, licks and kick drums. I say subdued because it’s practically background noise. On a production level, it’s like a demo in terms of audio quality, but the capability is there, that in itself is promising...but it’s the vocal content that draws attention here.  

Allow me to set the tone lyrically; “18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch, big hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked, 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked? Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch on their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks; Ram Ranch really rocks!”. This is the primary content of the track from start to finish, and it’s the absurdity of this that, at first, makes it mildly amusing and, quite distressing simultaneously. The worst bit? The spoken-word over metal sounds like, CHILLS, arguably THE WORST YouTube narrator in the history of the internet, got a record deal. The repetition and looping of track one IS painful, sure, but we have 11 tracks left. Even my Jack Daniel’s needs a Jack Daniel’s... 
 
Second track “Plowboy” has such a reverberated overlay of vocal samples, it becomes an absolute trippy mess from the moment it starts, with some, moog-esque synths, setting the tone for some almost 70’s porn rock sleaze. It’s the kind of thing to make your eye twitch, which one all depends on you and your tastes, I’m not here to discriminate. 

Next up we have, “Cowboys Fucking Cowboys” and, you remember when KID ROCK was like, “I wanna’ be a Cowboy baby!”? Yeah, we’re going to shatter his dreams right now. The gentle acoustics here could easily, EASILY be used for a more serious, affectionate country ballad, but there’s so much lyrical cowboy fucking here, riding butthole’s deep...it’s like...you know when ROGER ALAN WADE did “If You’re Gonna’ Be Dumb” for JACKASS, but instead of a montage of stunts, it was gay porn...that about sums it up. 
 
“Prince Harry” returns abruptly to that riff-heavy metal musicality, and it’s a wonder how the ever-loving fuck he got away with this one. I don’t know if this would be art, slander, or character assassination, but telling him to ride those big hard ram ranch cowboy cocks, bouncy, bouncy up and down, up and down, drink that cum, ram another cock up your royal bum? I don’t even know where the line is legally with this. I think of Harry now, in 2022, but this was ten years ago, ok Harry was still 28 at the time, but Christ. This is worse than that time he wore that Nazi costume to a party and made the front page. Who would have thought THAT could be topped? 

Next up, I feel personally attacked, as we have “Suck That Cock Gavin”, and, no. Firstly I’m not even joking, that’s that track name! I’m barely here to listen to the album, I’m certainly not signing up for that. I recently reviewed VR SEX and not even they were that immersive, calm the fuck down Grant! Or at least buy me dinner first!? I’ll take the salad, hold the ram ranch dressing please... 

“Big Hard Cowboy Cock” sounds like, generic mid 90’s WCW music, excluding the lyrics, obviously, Ted Turner wouldn’t tolerate that. Imagine like, the Nitro Girls were gay cheerleaders? Disco Inferno and Alex Wright would have much better careers. ” Hard Horsecock” implies that we’re entering the world of bestiality here now, and I don’t even know what I can get away with. We’ve all heard the phrase ‘hung like a horse’, but this is sung like a cunt. “12 Inch Cock” has industrialised metal elements but it’s more like, queer factory than FEAR FACTORY, while “Stable Boy” houses a more urbanised gangsta-rap / hip-hop aesthetic, but it drops more soap than it does bars. 

Ultimately, whoever Grant Macdonald is...he’s committed. Or at least he should be. Credit to him, I can barely think of the words to sum this up. Not since AC/DC has an artist produced so much content with so little substance. Sure, he’s able to mix it up musically, utilising rock and metal, country and Americana, as well as hip-hop, so he’s technically actually better than AC/DC, but lyrically and vocally, I’m assuming it’s something you have to be in-on, or, ‘get’.

Ideal for reaction videos, or making friends and family question you when they hear you play it on Spotify, but, at over an hour long, it’s not a fun album in the slightest, and once the initial shock wears off, and you’ve done the whole “Wtf?” head shake, it very quickly becomes monotonous and boring. Let’s be honest, there’s only so much hard throbbing cowboy cock you can take, y’know? No? Ok then... [0]

SPEAKING OF THE ROAD...BILLY IDOL makes his return to the UK in 2022 for a live arena tour, his first since 2018! The original rebellious poster boy hits six dates across the UK with special support from THE GO-GO'S to promote his new EP, as well as treating audiences to a plethora of classic hits and favourites. Tickets are available right now, via www.aegpresents.co.uk/events/detail/billy-idol - and to clarify, the dates and venues are as follows;

Saturday June 11th - Glasgow, SSE Hydro
Monday June 13th - Manchester, AO Arena
Wednesday June 15th - Birmingham, Resorts World Arena
Saturday June 18th - London, SSE Arena Wembley
Sunday June 19th - Cardiff, Motorpoint Arena
​Tuesday June 21st - Leeds, First Direct Arena

We hope to see you all at the roadside next Summer...you'll find me at Cardiff.

So, a pig, a gorilla and a dog walk into a bar, and the barman asks, “What can I get you?” Gav interrupts, “A punchline please because I haven’t got a fucking clue where this is going!”. Honestly the cover art here looks like something drawn up for a MONKEY DUST meets BOJACK HORSEMAN crossover, but I digress.  

“Regulars” is an album by a Bridgend-based singer-songwriter named Kyle David Smith, who here goes under the moniker PAY THE MAN. No stranger to the South Wales music scene, having played for local artists such as CEASARS ROME and ICANTDIE, he’s recently released this solo mini-album exploring his adoration for acoustic indie pop. Having been tagged on Facebook by three separate people in Kyle’s posts looking for promotion of this new album, it would be very much rude of me not to. So, Charlotte, Colin and Scott...if I don’t like this, I’m personally blaming you. 

The album opens up with the title track and initially we get some jerkily strummed acoustic guitars, as he sings of a sense of stagnation and repetition that’s commonplace in life today. There’s a gradual build until he unleashes a far more raw, emotive vocal and the track reeks of self-depreciation in a fed-up kind of way. It’s quite a relatable opener. Lead single then “Situationship” has a far more jovial guitar tone, backed by the percussion here giving the track a far better sense of rhythm. Ironically the track seems to delve into the topic of romantic and emotional frustration; the typical issues with loyalty, perhaps a spot of ghosting and generally feeling used or toyed with by a potential partner. This is why I’ve personally been single for over two years now...none of this shit...but the track itself is fine. 

“The Busker” then in turn returns to a far mellower piece of sombre acoustic that in ways bridges the depressive tones of early COLDPLAY with storytelling and lyricism more akin to say, DEAF HAVANA and it’s pleasant despite the aforementioned analogy. The 8-track mini album eventually finishes up with “There’s Hope For You Yet!” and again, we get a nicely delivered dose of more upbeat, up-tempo campfire acoustic indie-folk, even channelling subtle punk elements layered throughout the track, ending proceedings on a positive note. Any prior unmentioned tracks follow a fairly straightforward formula for the genre, not offending yet not exciting anyone at the same time really. 

There’s nothing wrong with this; nothing at all, this should potentially appeal to fans of say, DAVE JAKES or JAMES VECK-GILODI as opposed to ED SHEERAN (Thankfully) and this brand of heartfelt, stripped-back acoustic delivery is completely harmless. Fuelled by life in lockdown and the resulting intoxication brought on by isolation and self-reflection, it’s about an honest a record you can find. Pay the man his dues though...he’s opened up here and it’s at least worth a listen. [5] 

The other day, when I shared my newest “Unlucky Dip” collection, despite my clear favourites, there was one new artist in particular that peaked my interest; I’m just yet to determine if it was for all the right or wrong reasons. Yes you may remember me including a London-based duo by the name of BEFORE SUNDAY, who alongside some selected peers through Angels PR, covered “Square Hammer” by GHOST. Now I like this song a lot and you may recall I regarded the move as nothing short of bold, but the track was covered fairly traditionally without any needless bells and whistles, and credit to them they did it justice. Here is where the curiosity often kills the cat…

Given the band and track they covered, and having known nothing about the band prior to hearing said cover, I had to ask myself, was this a potentially new, up-and-coming alternative goth pop band? Can I look forward to some modern post-punk? Hell I’d settle for some retro dark-pop! In this instance…we sadly do not get any of those things. Yes the duo who make up Before Sunday; Nick Basis and Stella Panteloudi are a straight up pop act that just happen to appreciate a little rock ‘n’ roll influence here and there, and quite frankly I’m feeling catfished. But seeing as we’re here, they released their debut album recently entitled “Anticipation”…let me just tell you that mine has gone through the floor as opposed to the roof.

The album opens up with “Living In London” which to be fair is quite a catchy little piece of social commentary; highlighting the living conditions of living in the British capital, with the general ignorance of society leaving you feel alone in a population of millions…the generally overpriced day-to-day living and the often shitty weather. They paint a pretty bleak picture but I’m sure very many can relate. The track itself is a guitar driven piece of soft rock with ample swagger and a certain vocal drawl that in some ways finds itself between JOAN JETT and MILEY CYRUS…it’s a decent opener. “Big House” then follows up and the direction changes somewhat to say the least. The rockier guitars are replaced with more of a light, soulful funk aesthetic which coupled with the core pop delivery could pass for some, KYLIE MINOGUE or ALPHABEAT.

Even though the album is only ten tracks in length, it still manages to find itself book-ended with the better tracks at the beginning and the end, with the middle sort of just, existing. “Obsessions” for example is a wonderfully heartfelt, sombre piano/synth led pop ballad with a soaring vocal chorus. “Goddess” combines those gentle ballad qualities but brings back the funk-rich guitars and marries them with some innocently sweet vocal notes, before “Devil” rounds the album off on another guitar driven, rockier high note. It’s got a certain surging urgency to its delivery when it’s in full flow and the up-tempo intensity is welcome…they left it late but we actually get some of the slightest hints at more metallic instrumentation here that could be tied in to that Ghost cover.

As I said the middle of the album is generally generic pop music…the vocals on “Unconditional” are well produced and fine, “Gone” gives off Eurovision power ballad vibes and “Closed Doors” adapts more of a random country-pop aesthetic. While there’s nothing necessarily bad here, it’s a fine pop album with some good quality clean production, I can’t get that Ghost cover out of my head and can’t help but be somewhat disappointed by this album, which is a shame because there’s nothing wrong with it for what it is. It’s got its charm and does highlight a variety of genre influences all streamlined into one collection of quirky pop, but I was hoping for something more. I don’t even know what…maybe even like, OF MONSTERS & MEN or a SHINY TOY GUNS or something along those lines, which, sadly these are not. Before Sunday? More like never in a month of Sunday’s. [5]

It’s strange how certain things just stick with you as you grow up…for example, let’s say…North Carolina. Random, I know, like, I’ve never been there, I don’t have any family there, but embedded in my brain, is the fact that despite being born in Tennessee, Ric Flair comes from Charlotte, North Carolina (It’s a kayfabe thing). With that in mind, when a band slides into your email submissions stating that they too are from North Carolina, you instantly find yourself shouting “WOOOOO!” and knife-edge chopping everything in close proximity. (Excuse any following typo’s as I write this with a broken hand)

The band in question, are MIRROR POINT, who hail from Sanford and Cedar Creek, NC and consist of members Marc Killian, Travis Jones and Sketchy J. They recently got in touch with me asking me to check out their debut album “Shine On” which was released earlier this year through Mokovo Records. With an apparent variety of stylistic influences, let’s see if Mirror Point can mirror The Nature Boy, and be the limousine-ridin’, jet-flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin-dealin’ sons of  guns I personally hope they are.

​The mini-album opens up with “Winner Takes All” and we’re immediately met with some back-to-basics riffs and the typically clean yet, slightly bourbon coated vocals that make up your classic blues rock songbooks. It plods along really quite casually, quite middle of the road really before eventually picking up in intensity, exuding a more passionate instrumental display towards the tracks climax. It takes a minute or two to warm up but it gets there in the end. Not deserving of any winners medals, but it doesn’t come last either…it’s just taking part really. Next up we have a track called “PhenoBarbieDoll” and it’s one of their local radio successes. Another melodic, hard rocking blues-based number, it’s aimed at the trappings and troubles caused by social media; the anxiety it can give you trying to keep up appearances, the expectations of maintaining your plastic lifestyle, the fear of failure and the longing for fame. It’s quite a socially relevant track that has its points, but let’s not beat around the bush here the title is terrible. “PhenoBarbieDoll” sounds like a rip off, of a SyFy rip-off, of a straight to DVD Asylum rip-off of a low-budget “Annabelle” rip-off. We actually ran out of barrel to scrape…

​Looking further into some of their outside influences however, we get to another local radio success by the name of “Is This Was This”…I mean, if this WAS is and is was it wasn’t isn’t it? I thought so. A Latin/Hispanic fuelled little love song with clear yet subtle funk elements, and a certain Mediterranean flare, but plays on regrets, second guesses, absence an emotional confusion, touching upon PTSD, yet delivered in a predominantly light hearted manner. “Just Push Play” continues with the genre experimentation courtesy of a genuinely interesting combination of soulful 70’s funk, lounge jazz and modern hip-hop with a completely out of the blue rap-breakdown. The contrast manages to work without sounding jarring or like the world’s worst Nu Metal band, and that competition is TIGHT, so credit to them there.

The remainder of the record primarily consists of more, textbook blues-based hard rock which does have its moments of instrumental appeal, but sadly does become pretty generic over the course of the album, that IS only seven tracks long remember. Sure they dabbled in a few genres to spice things up but on a scale of black pepper to Bhut jolokia, that spice is toothpaste. Collectively, “Shine On” is harmless enough and you can appreciate it’s basic blues rock appeal, I mean they’re on the radio back home so they’re climbing that ladder, and there is an audience for blues based hard rock, I mean look at BLACK STONE CHERRY…it’s do-able, just on this instance, “Shine On” isn’t even as bright as one of Ric Flair’s bejewelled robes, let alone the 16-time world champion himself. To be the man, you gotta beat the man…Mirror Point have not beaten the man. Mirror Point are more like David Flair than Ric at this point. [5]

Some of you may be thinking, Gav…how many reviews can you shoehorn references to Covid-19 into? Well…my friend, as it happens, as many as I want. You see while a lot of you are crying over 2020 festival season being buggered into next year, I’ve got my own agenda. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy festival experiences, but I am instead honestly quite reclusive, so one of the things I personally look forward to every year is the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.

Long-time readers will know I usually cover the show in some way shape or form, be it a run-down of finalists, covering past winner’s releases, or even just live-Tweeting the event…this year, I can’t enjoy this. This year I couldn’t look forward to sitting in front of my TV on the rare occasion I do, to watch Graham Norton sarcastically bury a plethora of countries. This year I couldn’t respectfully raise a glass of Bailey’s to Sir Terry Wogan during song 9, (Who am I kidding it’s a bottle of Jack). This year I couldn’t even get annoyed by the very political voting system I expect each and every fucking year as if it’s some shocking conspiracy. Covid-19 brought an end to all of that…and for that…I despise you, even though you’ve given me two months off work paid. 1st world problems, yes, but still. Alas…what I CAN do at least is channel my inner Jim Bowen, and have a look at who could have won, as Eurovision still at least released the 41-track CD of each countries entry. With that said…Good Evening Rotterdam! Open up, and let’s shine a light on the performers to see who gets 12 points….

​I’m going to preface this by stating that no I am NOT going to be analysing every one of the 41 entries as frankly I don’t even think lockdown is long enough for me to do that, but I will mull over my personal highlights, and as usual, the Eurovision double-album does things alphabetically, so we start with Albania. Their entry is “Fall From The Sky”, performed by ARILENA ARA and it’s one of two primary Eurovision tropes…heartfelt ballad, or fucking bonkers. This one falls into ballad category and as an opening track it’s a fairly safe one. The light piano allowing Arilena’s emotive, powerful vocals to really shine and there’s a dramatic intensity to this performance; a wonderful start. If you enjoyed that ballad however, hold on to that thought because you’re going to get sick of them over the next say, I don’t know… album? 

Armenia’s entry “Chains On You” by ATHENA MANOUKAIN tries to modernise things with some middle-eastern inspired trap and mumble rap…as far as the genre goes it’s fine, it’s the kind of thing you’d find Charlie Sloth spinning, but it’s not for me. Australia are still participating even though their initial anniversary guest spot was a few years ago now, and their entry “Don’t Break Me”, performed by MONTAIGNE is…another pop ballad. Granted the modern production and bold yet husky vocals find her somewhere between say, DUA LIPA and SIA in some ways, and it’s not bad. Onion Bhaji are up next…sorry, no, Azerbaijan are up next with “Cleopatra” performed by EFENDI and we get more middle-eastern / Egyptian musical influence, before leading into more Western pop stylistics…up until the part where they start summoning demons and shit…honestly that’s what it sounds like. Seriously, I thought my desk was going to start floating or my eyeballs were going to bleed!

Let’s see what else we have here…Belgium’s entry “Release Me” by HOOVERPHONIC in its own ways sounds like a BTEC version of BILLIE EILISH doing a Bond Theme…that’s the best and only way of describing that, you’re going to have to get way off of my back about that one. Skipping ahead now but keeping a colour scheme it’s Germany who have the next real highlight with the track “Violent Thing” by BEN DOLIC. Sadly the track is about as violent as two kittens having a pillow fight…I was expecting this year’s rock entry or something but we get another up-tempo pop offering. It’s got some brass elements and a bit of funk, and an impressive high note, resulting in quite a catchy little track, but it’s not what I was hoping for. Speaking of getting my hopes up, I ALWAYS look for Finland’s entry since LORDI won it in 2006, and this year, their entry “Looking Back” by AKSEL was…meh. It’s a pleasant indie-pop piece with ample melody, nothing like Lordi, or even SAARA AALTO from 2018; disappointing this one I’m afraid, you let me down Finland.

Next up, we have the United Kingdom…and as a Welshman, you might think I’m going to be biased here, that I’m going to sing praises to our entry as if they’re God’s gift to mainstream music…well I can assure you, that you are wrong. JAMES NEWMAN is our entry for this year with the track “My Last Breath” and I would sooner give up my last breath than have this song win the competition, despite it making things logistically easier for me to attend in 2021. Another copy and paste type of emotional male-led pop song akin to anyone from JAMES ARTHUR or SAM SMITH or any generic bollocks like that…it’s just so bloody boring! Georgia on the other hand, do somewhat peak my interest…”Take Me As I Am” by TORNIKE KIPIANI is, admittedly, lyrically fucking awful, let me make that clear, but the deep, electronic tinged moody indie tones easily mirror the styles and sounds of say, IMAGINE DRAGONS or AWOLATION etc, and this is arguably as dark as things get this year.

Skipping eagerly ahead now as we’re still only about half way here, we get Ireland and honestly…this would have been a contender for the competitions winner to break their own record, securing eight competition victories. “Story Of My Life” by LESLEY ROY gives off some serious KATY PERRY vibes…it’s a bouncy, light-hearted absolute banger of a pop anthem. Sure there’s repetition, a little instrumental monotony and some childish qualities but this is the kind of track you’d understand being all over commercial radio this Summer time…never mind the political voting, Covid-19 potentially robbed Ireland of this year’s win! Do they have any contenders however? Why in fact yes they do, and there is some STRONG competition from Iceland, and who some may say are favourites to win; DAðI FREYR with the song “Think About Things”. A synth-rich, full on disco-funk driven indie track…it is so simple in execution with the most basic of hooks, so much groove in so little effort, this is superb.

Jumping forward then we have THE ROOP with their entry “On Fire” for Lithuania…and it’s another basic pop track with pulsing electronic elements, dance-pop qualities with all of the synth laden hooks, it’s not as good as past winners such as MÅNS ZELMERLÖW for example but it’s along the same vein and personally I enjoy this, it’s arguably my favourite, despite some questionable vocals in places…and the video is as stated above; fucking bonkers. The rest of the album sadly doesn’t really throw up many particular highlights or memorable tracks, other than “Uno” by LITTLE BIG representing Russia. The “Skibidi” outfit had my attention going into the competition don’t get me wrong, but they’ve done better. Granted they’ve likely been heavily censored but still! SKIBIDI WA-PA-POW! The video does make me laugh mind…it’s all in the knees fam.

Romania come in with the track “Alcohol You” and I thought I was being offered a pint in broken English to be honest, so imagine my disappointment when ROXEN starts warbling her moody, sultry vocals…a slow, albeit grandiose track , though KORPIKLAANI drink better to be fair. Serbia rock up then with “Hasta La Vista” and the name alone has me hooked…have HURRICANE been sent from the future by Sky Net to secure Eurovision victory? In short…no…imagine someone installed LimeWire on the T-800 and the sheer amount of internet aids rendered it out of order. I’ll be very surprised if you’ll be back. Eventually then, and finally, we find ourselves at Ukraine, listening to “Solovey” by GO_A, and luckily, we conclude the album on an unorthodox yet enjoyable note. The traditional native tones of the vocal performance and woodwind elements coupled with a solid dance-pop aesthetic allow for a genuinely soothing and fun listen…I mean I haven’t got a fucking clue what they are saying but I like it!

After all of that, it really is heart-breaking to know that, given Eurovision’s six-decade legacy and tradition, none of the above entries will be able to represent their respective nations and try to put themselves in the history books. Granted some of these songs work better as a stage performance with character and gimmicks as opposed to straight up audio content, but that doesn’t detract what would have been an entertaining evening of live entertainment and multicultural acceptance of diversity. I know I rant and roast but I honestly enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest…I look forward to it every year, and hopefully it comes back all guns blazing in 2021. Where…who knows…no country has ever done two in a row from winning, so will Holland get to host again on a technicality? We can only wait and see…until then, Europe, you’re a beautiful bunch of bastards, for the record, I didn’t vote for Brexit I voted remain…and as far as Covid-19 goes…nil pois.

Dave Grohl is the most wholesome of rock stars, honestly he’s a good egg, and during these unprecedented times, we can all take a page out of the book of Grohl and channel the track “Times Like These”; we can learn to live again…we can learn to love again. Or (And I can’t stress this enough) not, as this next review goes to show that it’s also times like these where, I in fact regret diving into my email submissions. Honestly, you know the original music video for that very song where they are throwing a pile of shit off that bridge? I’d sooner yeet MYSELF off the bridge than listen to this next record…but I will try and be fair.

I’m all for firsts here…I’ve listened to and reviewed plenty of different genres in the past, everything from blackened death metal to K-pop…but never have I ever come across an album classified as ‘Jewish folk-pop’…until now. YERACHMIEL who was originally based in New York, recently moved to Israel where he has fully immersed himself in the culture and traditions of his religion and heritage, and he uses these influences and inspirations to fuel quite the prolific musical career it would seem! “Off The Derech” is his 6th studio album; a collection of 21 original songs which he’s asked me to check out. Truth be told I’d rather bath with my nan, but out of respect and I guess curiosity…let’s give this a whirl.

The album opens up with “Great To Be Alive” and having been on lock-down for five weeks now, this sentiment is already testing my patience. The track itself is admittedly a pleasant little dose of melodic soft-rock; the loose guitar play and light piano combine well to give off a certain late 80’s / early 90’s feel…you could maybe bracket it alongside the likes of JIMI JAMISON for example, but the levels of positivity here are borderline sickly. This positive energy is also incredibly abundant in the track “Temple”. It’s starts off as if it’s the intro theme to some cheesy 1970’s family sitcom, but it oozes its loving message of faith and togetherness to point where you feel like you’re watching Songs Of Praise trying to be edgy. I have my fingers on MY temples…and I require co-codamol.

One thing I will say for Yerachmiel mind is that he isn’t afraid to dabble in crossover genres…I mean the last thing you’ expect to find in an Israeli recording studio is reggaeton or ska, but that’s exactly what you find on “7th Wonder” and “Your Name Be Praise”.  The former is as though BOB MARLEY got so fucking high one day he woke up in the middle east, with its brass-based low-fi instrumentation, while the latter houses more of a subtle, indie-based core sound akin to say, UB40. It’s honestly an interesting mash-up I’ll give it that. True highlights however are sadly minimal and frankly hard to point out…”Earth Is Trembling” does have a solid, up-tempo, oompah rhythm which is both fun and energetic, despite it's damning opinion of mankind. “Tears In A Falling Rain” combines a soulful, funk aesthetic with the more traditionalist middle eastern percussion, while the string instrumentation on “Stay True” borders on country bluegrass.

It’s a confused album quite frankly, and over the course of the twenty one tracks here it’s as though he’s thrown whatever he could at the wall just to see what stuck, and to be honest  I don’t think he cared if something stuck or not. There is a lot going on here and we can all really respectfully say that, this track listing can do with a bit of a cull. I’m not suggesting we go all Nazi and wipe the album out entirely, that would be in poor taste even for me…but the album doesn’t need to be THIS long, especially with so many of the tracks already suffering from repetition. Off The Derech? I must be off my rocker to have believed I might enjoy this one, this really isn’t my cup of Wissotzky. [2]

For those of you living under a rock, good, stay there and self-isolate. For the rest of you, you’ll be aware that the world is currently being absolutely shafted by the on-going Coronavirus pandemic; with thousands of directly linked Covid-19 deaths reportedly recorded worldwide…supposedly 23,721 at this time of writing. Basically, life has for the most part, practically ground to a halt, as many people have to either work from home or have been furloughed indefinitely during this time of uncertainty, but while that covers all aspects of life, as summer approaches we can’t overlook the severe impact it’s had on music, more specifically concerts and festivals.

Just recently, UK heavy hitter Download Festival announced it was essentially writing this year off entirely, as have Glastonbury and Isle Of Wight, with Slam Dunk being fortunate enough to reschedule for later this year (Assuming things don’t continue to go tits up). It’s not JUST festivals though, as any large gathering is now prohibited in the interest of public safety, so bye-bye MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE reunion shows too! (We haven't long suffered flooding in Wales I don't particularly want to drown in a sea of emo tears thank you!) One of the tours, I would have not only given my left testicle to attend, but I would have sold my last roll of toilet paper too…and that would have been BAD RELIGION and ALKALINE TRIO. The trio are wholesome punks however, and themselves, personally not wanting everyone to miss out, went and dropped a surprise three-track EP simply entitled “E.P.” to make up for not being able to perform. As we’re all currently on lock-down, let’s take 10 minutes to appreciate this generous gift…

The EP opens up with “Minds Like Minefields” and we’re swiftly greeted with the up-tempo, alt. pop-punk that Alkaline Trio have made their own over the course of their career. It mixes a great, catchy off-kilter delivery with an intense, alternating instrumental flurry and some subdued yet distinct whoa-oh backing vocals. In typical Matt Skiba fashion it’s a darkly poetic love song about the aftermath of a damaging relationship leaving you mentally unstable to some degree, but delivered with so much bounce and energy it’s actually uplifting; a fantastic start this.

We follow this up with “Radio Violence” and we welcome Dan Andriano back to vocals which has always been part of Alkaline Trio’s appeal…the dual vocal styles not only gel well but it allows for completely different approaches to the bands writing and overall sound. The track retains the bands punk aesthetics when it gets going, including some sleek guitar work, but it has a lighter, more pop-oriented delivery, with its quirky chords and fun instrumentation; the band sound like they’re enjoying themselves here…if they’re trying to spread a little positivity it’s working.

Finally then we finish up on “Smokestack” and it’s like we’re taken right back to the “Damnesia” sessions…for the simple campfire acoustic approach is, surprisingly, yet another strength of Trio’s song-writing prowess, for not only can they write solid punk rock bangers and alternative goth punk anthems, they can also absolutely nail an acoustic folk ballad and they prove that here effortlessly. While not AS good as renditions of “Every Thug Needs A Lady” for example, it’s easily good enough to have been taken off that same compilation, and this mellow simplicity is just as stirring as their more perturbed punk rock, highlighting their talent for emotive story telling. The guys are quite obviously on top form here and quite frankly, just as with the recent VILLE VALO EP, the three songs only make you want to hear more, but if this is the level of material they’re putting out, whatever comes next will certainly be worth the wait. They dropped this EP because they felt bad about fans not getting to see them live because of this stupid virus…so I implore you now, the very next moment you get an opportunity to catch them live and thank them (Hopefully rescheduled shows with Bad Religion) you do it. I know I will. [9]

​Back in 2017, the gothic rock community found itself in an official state of mourning. You might think, well, nothing fucking new by there? But, we had a legitimate excuse for our smudged eye liner. You see, everyone’s favourite romantic-rockers HIM, were officially no more. Yes following the departure of long-time drummer Mika Karppinen (Gas) and the appointment of Jukka Kröger (Kosmo), plus the fairly lukewarm reception of “Tears On Tape”…there were a lot of mixed feelings within the HIM camp…and a lot of uncertainty. Over this period, one thing eventually led to another, and after a series of farewell shows, the Heartagram had seemingly stopped beating. Tears were no longer merely on tape, they were on the cheeks of thousands of distraught fans across the globe…and it hurt.

Granted there were other projects that trickled out from certain members of the band…we got a fantastic 3rd installment from DANIEL LIONEYE courtesy of guitarist Mikko Lindström…as well as a couple of the guys forming FLAT EARTH, but it just wasn’t the same. What was Ville Valo up to? As the voice of HIM, he naturally carried the most intrigue, and while he did tease some activity with the release of the Finnish language single "Olet mun kaikuluotain", as well as reuniting with former collaborators THE AGENTS for some more traditional Finnish classics…he’s been incredibly quiet, almost suspiciously quiet…until now. On March 20th, 2020, Ville, under the new moniker of VV, surprised everyone by dropping three new tracks on an EP entitled “Gothica Fennica Vol.1”. With a modified Heartagram on the cover…was this what HIM fans had been craving for so long? Tissues at the ready folks, this might get emotional.

We get underway with ”Salute The Sanguine” and as the soft, near synthetic guitar melodies meander through your speakers, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed with, dear I say it…a foreboding sense of impending happiness. This is in its own right fitting as the delicate tones of not only the instrumentation but Ville’s voice hark back to albums such as “Screamworks…” and “Dark Light”; there’s a vulnerability to his voice that adds heaps of sentiment. Conceptually an interesting one, as sanguine is essentially a colour, or pigment used in a lot of centuries old artwork and self-portraits, resembling the shade of dried blood. It’s as if he’s looking back fondly on his career as if it had been dusted off having been locked away, appreciating the memories and what they gave him, with each scar a story, but knowing too that he isn’t the same man as before. This ties in nicely to the modified Heartagram…for like the music accompanying it; it’s a little HIM, but it isn’t, though it’s still beautiful.

Next up we have “Run Away From The Sun” and again here we’re immediately met with Ville’s gentle croon over more soft rock guitars and mellow acoustics. Another smooth and melodic offering, this is accessible as any of HIM’s lightest works as though Ville has embraced more of an indie-pop aesthetic, while retaining his core, lyrically melancholic writing style, allowing for those distinct HIM tropes. Speaking of, closing track “Saturnine Saturnalia” is the most HIM-sounding of the three tracks presented here and while not specifically raucous or rocking, it carries with it a distinct aura of hurt and emotional torment, mixing Ville’s honey coated vocals with a more sombre dose of doom and gothic stylistics. It’s got more prominent riff work and sounds like it could have come from one of the old “Venus Doom” demo sessions, fitting in with the likes of “Cyanide Sun” aesthetically, allowing for a deeper, ever so slightly darker listen.

If I may come across as selfish for a moment, sadly, these are the only three tracks presented here but while naturally wanting more, we have to be grateful of a couple of key things. To start, Ville is once again releasing music in any capacity, that’s the main thing, but the fact that the Heartagram has returned and his music is more akin to the styles and sounds of old is not only heart-warming, but brings with it hope. He’s clearly finding his feet again, and despite being only three tracks long, having been away for three years now, “Gothica…” is an effortlessly good start. The fact too that it’s merely volume one hints at more music down the line, and if these three tracks are anything to go by, we’re in for a fucking treat. Never mind the sanguine, Ville Valo, we salute you and welcome back sir! [10]

As it’s now 2020, my New Year’s resolution is to focus a lot more on email submissions from bands and record labels/PR companies, when it comes to my review content on this little blog. I’m not for one minute suggesting I’m going to actually succeed in this…remember that scene from Bruce Almighty when Jim Carey is bombarded with prayers? That’s pretty much me as I attempt to juggle listening time, writing time, working full time and, oh yeah, occasionally 3, maybe 4 hours sleep if I’m lucky…nevertheless, I continue.

Today’s review is the beginning of my resolution, but we do have to go all the way back to DECEMBER 2018…I mean I had to get Time Team to dig this one out! Let me explain. Yes on December 4th, 2018, I received an email from a Norwegian pop group by the name of SECRET TREEHOUSE, who were typically doing their rounds, promoting their upcoming single “Fear Of Frogs”, which was to be taken off of their debut album “The Big Rewind”. Now as you’re aware I don’t generally review singles, so, I thought I’d save the email and keep checking back and forth over the coming weeks, awaiting the album. A couple of weeks did pass…nothing…a couple of months then passed yet still I found no album, the Secret Treehouse really were keeping this album a fucking secret! Fast forward to December 2019 however, and while I’m going over my end of year lists and clearing out some emails ready to start afresh, I stumble upon that saved email, having completely forgotten by this point and after a quick look, I discover they have in fact FINALLY released that bloody album! With that said, and regardless of how out-dated this review now actually is, here are my thoughts on the frankly ironically titled “The Big Rewind”.

The album opens up with that initial single “Fear Of Frogs” and to be fair it starts things off really quite promisingly. A song about the fear of unintentionally misleading someone in love, it gives off a rich 80’s synth-pop vibe with some incredibly catchy melodies, over Anja Bere’s velvety smooth vocals. In certain ways it combines the likes of OF MONSTERS AND MEN with ROBYN and THE CRANBERRIES, resulting in really quite a pleasant track. The same can be said for “Too Young” which also houses more of this pulsing electronic style although it isn’t quite as up-beat.

A lot of the record combines elements of indie, with a more shoegaze pop aesthetic, resulting a very easy listening album overall…”Wrong Hands” is a really chilled ambient piece of indie that slowly builds to some wonderfully emotive guitar, getting better and better as it winds up to its gentle crescendo. The title track manages to sound soft yet simultaneously bold, being able to pull off the sort of radio ballad COLDPLAY would churn out, while more recent single “Do You Remember” has a more lulling tone, in places giving off an almost subtle LOU REED vibe, before closing track “Hero” rounds things up with a delicate little acoustic piece, emphasising the sweetness of Anja’s hushed vocal notes.

The question I have to ask myself is, considering I was made aware of this album back in 2018…was it actually worth waiting until 2020 to review it? To a degree, no…but that’s not a direct knock on this record. Fans of this sort of dreamy pop soundscape will appreciate the tenderness and tranquility that makes up the bulk of this record, despite the initial single suggesting a far more up-tempo, retro-pop direction. It’s not a bad album by any means, and what Secret Treehouse do they do well, but it’s hardly The Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror. With their second album due to drop sometime in 2020, maybe I’ll get around to reviewing it in around two years or so…somebody remind me though yeah? [5]

2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5

We live in a world where everything seems to be, well, for want of a better word; fucked. The USA is, in many cases, devolving rapidly as a country socio-politically when it comes to human rights. Between deportation issues, police brutality and abortion debates; it’s becoming less ‘united’ by the day. Speaking of the US, mass shootings! Popular as ever apparently! We’ve got Boris Johnson this side of the pond, who, for all intents and purposes is like, an Everyday Value version of Donald Trump, despite his privileged upbringing, and he’s attempting to questionably force the country through a geo-political trade clusterfuck. The Amazon rainforest is STILL on fire, which is far more important than Notre Dame burning but hey, it’s only trees so that’s fine I’m guessing? It’s not like we need to, you know, breathe? People continue to watch Love Island, reaffirming the rise in mental health issues and for some reason, McDonald’s named their new burger the “Double Quarter Pounder”…guys…I don’t know if you noticed…but two quarters makes a half? It’s…it’s literally a half pounder. I thought it was just failed students that worked there who need to whip their dick out just to count to eleven, turns out their marketing team struggle with maths too! Alas, when we’re faced with all of this…we need a beacon of hope, and a message of reassurance and positivity…and that’s where THE MAINE come in with their new album “You Are OK”.

The Arizona-based alt. pop-rockers have been around since 2007 and have built themselves a loyal following over the years. After early tours supporting the likes of GOOD CHARLOTTE and THE ACADEMY IS…, 2019 welcomes them back with their 7th studio album, to remind everyone one that, while there’s a lot going tits up in the world, you’re doing alright. So without further ado let’s cast out any negativity and realise that we are indeed OK. The album opens up with a touch of macabre courtesy of “Slip The Noose” and it’s about a special encounter, leading to salvation and safety. That special someone that manages to let you see and think clearly, preventing you from doing something you’ll regret is so invaluable in life, and it’s delivered with an up-beat dose of happy-go-lucky indie-pop. It’s got some light riffs, some strings and some solid drum fills, yet manages to retain a sort of, MARK OWEN pop-vibe vocally.

“Numb Without You” lyrically highlights a juxtaposition of feelings and emotions that all flourish at once during a relationship; both negative and positive…and like marriage vows typically state, “For better or worse”, it means life and love will have up’s and down’s, but it’s testament to your character how you overcome the worst bits to flourish in the best, and this track champions that very mind set. With more string accompaniment, we’re given a sweeping emo-inspired pop anthem with soaring gang vocals and it’s got an impassioned chorus. Album highlight “Heaven, We’re Already There” takes that formula and refines it to deliver a much more intense, hook-laden synth-tinged, emo-rock banger that, in places reminds of KIDS IN GLASS HOUSES during the chorus and it’s an absolute belter of a track this, really well done.

Elsewhere, “One Sunset” with its energetic, tinny guitar tone and gradual build to a beaming chorus makes it impossible to not tap your foot and bob your head along to this, another fun, bubbly track, while “Tears Won’t Cry” retains that guitar tone and has certain, modern boy band charm akin to artists such as THE VAMPS or the like. “Flowers On The Grave” does allow for a bit of a come-down however ,with a 9-minute-plus acoustic driven pop ballad with some lulling piano…it DOES liven up courtesy of some rockier sequences and progressions, but overall the track ebbs and flows between sounding highly animated and anti-climactic at the same time. Despite this, the album as a whole just oozes a positive, enthusing simplicity resulting a genuinely easy-listening feel-good record. Like I mentioned earlier, the world is on its arse at the moment, and times are testing…but you need to be reminded that you’ve got this…you’re doing alright…you ARE OK. Unless you voted Conservative…you’re not OK…fuck you. [7]

IT’S BOSS TIME!!!!! No, don’t worry, my name isn’t Michael Cole and I’m not about to run commentary on WWE’s Sasha Banks (Though in hindsight that may have been a little more entertaining to be honest)…but we are of course going to be focusing our attention on the boss himself; Mr BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. The man needs little to no introduction; one of the most successful recording artists of all time, Springsteen’s career spans decades and he has the hits and accolades to show for it. EVERYONE knows classics such as 1975’s “Born To Run”, even up to his critically acclaimed track “The Wrestler” in 2009, but now, ten years later in 2019, at the sprightly age of 69 we find The Boss still churning out records…

Not taking into account his plethora of live recordings and EP’s, Springsteen recently released his nineteenth studio album entitled “Western Stars”. A return to his solo recording style, firmly based around story-telling with orchestral arrangements, and in this instance, inspired by 70’s Californian pop music. With a rich range of themes based on American tropes such as lonely highways, and the feelings of isolation travelling vast desert spaces through the US, let’s check it out and see if this bona fide western star can still shine so far into his career...

​We open up with “Hitch Hikin’” and let it be said in advance that, the name sums up the journey through this album really quite appropriately; a seemingly endless wait for something to come and pick you up with no real guarantees. With its softly plucked acoustic yet, tinny guitar, it’s got an almost southern blue-grass aesthetic filtering in ever so slightly, before an elegant, sweeping string section gives the track more instrumental depth. Everything is soothing but here Springsteen’s voice comes across as occasionally monotonous. While a lot of this record is generally stripped back and mellow, there are a couple of points of interest worth highlighting…lead single “Hello Sunshine”  houses a tranquil, almost tropical guitar tone while more delicate strings meander through your ears. Despite its down-tempo approach and low-key vibe it’s still a positive little song and you can’t help but feel relaxed having listened to it.

“Sundown” despite its livelier tone, incorporating subtle blues elements and a more powerful vocal performance tells a sad tale of solitude and loneliness, spending the nights alone drifting from bar to bar, missing the one he holds dearest in his heart. The real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Sleepy Joe’s Café”…far more up-beat and jovial, it’s anything but sleepy as it utilises an old-school rock ‘n’ roll feel, coupled with organs and a brass accompaniment ; it’s a genuinely fun, light-hearted little track. Sadly, the rest of the album, despite Springsteen’s narrative and penchant for story-telling within his songs, comes across as a tad lifeless for the most part.

“Drive Fast (The Stuntman)” for example, despite admittedly being composed beautifully, exudes nowhere near the level of energy you’d expect given its name, leaving you somewhat disappointed. You hope for something zestful, something bold and boisterous, yet it’s everything but. “Chasin’ Wild Horses” suffers from the same issues; the title portrays something maybe a touch chaotic, but honestly he couldn’t catch a bloody cold here let alone a wild horse, before luckily, we eventually finish up at “Moonlight Motel”. Given the general pacing of the album overall, it’s both fitting from the point of the albums narrative, and ironic as having listened to the album from start to finish, you could do with putting your head down for a couple of hours. Springsteen can obviously still weave wonderful stories and concepts into his song writing, and musically there’s nothing really wrong with these tracks at all, the orchestral elements especially sound lovely, but it’s a very restrained record that struggles to warrant many repeat listens. If you prefer your music to be more easy-listening then sure you may enjoy this a lot more, but on this occasion it would appear that the boss has taken some annual leave…[4]

“I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do…and for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'” – Bob Newhart. All jokes aside, country music isn’t something we hear a lot of in the UK, and by a lot of I mean, virtually any; it’s just not a thing. We’ve got plenty of talented singer/songwriters, but country music to us is a very American thing…a very, cowboy hat wearing, moonshine drinking, horse-riding, rootin’ tootin’ arguably inbred (If you’re down South at least) American thing.

That’s not to say that it’s all bad however, no sirree, as I’m sure everyone can agree that the likes of JOHNNY CASH and TAMMY WYNETTE are iconic performers, and they, like so many others helped take country music off of the front porch into packed out concert halls across the states. Although, while the UK doesn’t have a flourishing country scene, we do have artists that take influence from the genre and that leads us into today’s review; let me introduce you to HAWTHORN AVENUE.

The duo from Neath (Consisting of Marcus Gumms and Laura Benjamin) initially met in 2015 while both playing the South Wales live circuit and immediately gravitated toward each other creatively, starting out at jam nights where they found their feet in terms of collaborating. Laura, a multi-instrumentalist grew up loving music from a young age and looks up to the likes of TAYLOR SWIFT and CARRIE UNDERWOOD, while Marcus admits he just saw some guy on Stars In Their Eyes doing Johnny Cash and thought to himself ‘That’s what I’m going to do’…and he did! The duo have recently released their debut EP entitled “Wildfire” and have asked me to check it out…I guess it’s time to saddle up…

The EP opens up with “Raised Me Better” and it combines subtle organ notes with soft country blues and a crisp pop aesthetic…with its vocal harmonies, powerful key-changes yet an easy-listening approach, it delivers a wonderfully smooth, simplistic country-pop number. Hick-pop if you will. The songs message of restraint and composure allows for a positive outlook and sets a good example; be the better person, and it’s really quite lovely; a good start this. “Fade Away” strips things right back to a gently plucked acoustic-driven piece with subtle nods to a Native American woodwind influence. It’s a hushed, mellow little track with an emotive delivery, though picks up ever so slightly over time, incorporating more electric guitar and growing in volume and intensity, yet manages to stay restrained.

“The Water’s Edge” follows in the same vein with another sombre country ballad; with its sweet, delicate acoustics and silky vocal harmonies…it’s a quaint little track but out of the four presented here, it’s arguably the weakest of the bunch, though you can appreciate its tenderness. We do however finish on a strong note and the EP’s title track is a clear EP highlight in every sense of the term. “Wildfire” returns to a more up-beat presentation blending their love of country stylistics with a more modern indie-pop tone and the resulting track is full of sass, swagger and rhythm. The tinny guitar, dual vocal harmonies and a fantastically hook-laden, melodic chorus means this song is impossible to not enjoy, and it bookends this EP perfectly. Country may not be all too lucrative within the UK market, but here Hawthorn Avenue prove that you can utilise that distinct country style to great effect when blended in with a more modern, pop-oriented sound. After listening to this, I really hope this wildfire spreads…god that sounds terrible doesn’t it…[8]

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So I’ve got this confession to make…no I’m not coming out as a heterosexual white male that uses an online platform to give a personal opinion why; that would be career suicide! I jest…my confession is with regards to my approach to music. Sure, whether it’s here or for other publications, my reviews are always from an open-minded, honest perspective, trying to take into account more than just my own personal preferences for whichever artist I may be dealing with…but it doesn’t stop me having those personal preferences. For instance, I’ll go on record now for saying that, in my opinion, NIRVANA are a pile of shit…many would disagree, Courtney Love might try to set me up on a date with a Remington Model-11 for saying such a thing, but while I CAN admit they are an incredibly important and influential band in the evolution of alternative music…I just don’t like them.

This brings me to today’s band; BUCKCHERRY. The Californian rockers have been going for quite some time now and, I first heard of them back in 2001 when I discovered a track called “Slammin’”. It was a great, rock ‘n’ roll track and even though I was more concerned about Nu Metal at the time, I still enjoyed it for what it was. Fast forward a couple of years however, and I’m reintroduced to Buckcherry, as we come to arguably one of the worst successful rock songs ever recorded; “Crazy Bitch”. Seriously this song is 100% cringe in every conceivable way…everyone gives NICKELBACK a hard time when this fucking song exists, what are we doing like?! It’s AWFUL. Anyway needless to say, I was put off Buckcherry…I can’t be dealing with that, nope, no Sir, no thank you. BUT, in the interest of equality (And the fact that you chose them on my last readers choice poll you evil bunch of bastards) I’m going to give them another chance…earlier this year they released album number eight; “Warpaint”, and I’m on the front line prepared to do battle…come at me brah!

The album opens up with the title track and to be perfectly honest; it’s really not bad. It keeps things nice and simple to be fair, incorporating blues-based hard rock with a southern groove and some sleek guitar licks. The solo blends in well allowing the track to flow really smoothly without sounding jarring, it’s not been thrown in the mix ‘just because’ like some solo’s, actually adding to the track, and Josh Todd’s vocals while still distinct, are a touch subdued here, giving off a mellower vibe. It’s actually a decent little opener. If you do prefer mellow, “Right Now” initially has you covered as it continues with the light blues rock inspired guitar tone but strips back to a more acoustic-based delivery, although the chorus is far livelier and, remember what I said about solo’s? Yep…this one came out of nowhere quicker than you can say Randy Orton, and the song can’t seem to decide what it wants to be.

Let’s try and remain objectively positive though shall we and look at the highlights…”No Regrets” is a quirky little up-beat punk-rock inspired piece; it’s fun, it’s light-hearted and you can’t not enjoy this…from the clap-along segments, the tinny, rockabilly guitar stylistics and general skater-rock vibe, it’s just a happy track and at under 3-minutes, it’s an easy highlight. Closing track “The Devil’s In The Details” remains up-beat but returns to a more straightforward hard rocking / classic rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic with a fine riff carrying the track. “The Vacuum” raises a chuckle from me to be honest as in a funny twist of irony, it doesn’t completely suck. The riffs are solid and there’s an enjoyable melody layered throughout the track, resulting in quite an emotive listen, especially with Josh again holding back vocally, but the real highlight and frankly surprising inclusion here is a cover of NINE INCH NAILS classic “Head Like A Hole”.  Granted it’s not the same seething, industrial behemoth crafted by the vitriolic Trent Reznor, but the bass-heavy riffs still sound powerful here and it’s a great choice of cover; it’s a quality track to be fair and it’s done justice.  Is it as good as MILEY CYRUS’ cover on Black Mirror though?  I’ll let you reach your own conclusions there…

The rest of the album simply plods along really quite anonymously to be perfectly honest. “Radio Song” is a clichéd little acoustic piece with rich string-sections clearly aimed at finding commercial airplay while being both incredibly self-aware and  taking a subtle swipe at the mainstream, while “The Alarm” isn’t going to be waking anyone up in a hurry. Its’ slow pace and generally lethargic instrumentation makes for a predominantly boring listen, while Josh’s vocals come across as too much for the pace of the track at times, he’s shouting over it almost and it’s a bit off. Overall though I have to admit, it’s not a terrible album, not by any means…”Crazy Bitch” was quite a while ago now and I can’t hold on to these grudges forever, and while I do still hate that song with a burning passion, this album is fine, they seemed to have calmed down a bit, which I’m all for. I mean, just think, Josh Todd could have done something ridiculous like, release a god-awful, embarrassing rap-rock/dub album, undoing any and all regained credibility I’ve just found in the band, couldn’t he! Wait…what? Who are SPRAYGUN WAR? Oh for fuck’s sake…[6]

What do you get, when you combine a love of classical prog-rock, centuries old medieval mythology and a generous portion of haggis, neeps and tatties? Aside from one incredibly psychedelic episode of Ready Steady Cook, it stereotypically brings us to today’s band; let me introduce you to CULANN. The unsigned five-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist PJ Kelly, drummer Sean Kelly, guitarist Greg Irish, bassist Calum Davies plus Ross McCluskie on the keys) formed in Irvine, Scotland several years ago and made quite the initial impact on the Scottish rock scene! With praise from several regional radio stations following their 2012 self-titled debut, they found themselves winning the ‘Best Rock’ category at the 2013 SAMA’s (Scottish Alternative Music Awards) and have been growing ever since. Appropriately named after an ancient Celtic/Gaelic smithy, it’s fitting that they’ve already forged their anticipated follow-up album “The Great Ecumene”…and the lads have asked me to give it a listen! So let’s crack open the Irn-Bru and check it out!

The album opens up with “Evonium” and once again the band highlights their appreciation and interest in history, stories of old and Celtic heritage, as the word is the name of a purported ancient city, which is said to have stood where Irvine is now. The track itself is initially really quite jovial and up-beat, combining light riffs, subtle poly-rhythms and a bright, bubbly piano lead, while vocally PJ harbours a clean, emotive indie-rock tone. The swift key-changes and solo flurry emphasise the bands love of prog however, and it all combines to create one genuinely interesting track. “Event Without Experience” follows up and while continuing with the up-tempo approach they’ve opted for a more guitar-driven track here; it’s sounding that much grittier and ever so slightly more chaotic, though it’s not heavy.

The first real album highlight however comes courtesy of “Brewing Of Ale” (Of course I like the track that in some way shape or form involves alcohol)…starting life as a sweet little acoustic number it soon evolves into a fully-fledged folk-rock ballad, and although still housing those prog-elements it’s the folk qualities that shine through, especially with the prominence of the Scottish accent here; it’s delivered wonderfully. “All Reverie” continues the feel-good factor with a more simplified, melodic pop-rock number and it’s just an enjoyable, easy-listening effort, which can also be said for “Aegis”. Generally more of the same; but ever so slightly more pop-punk in tone, giving it that ever so subtle edge…it’s another stand-out track.

There are some solid funk-elements incorporated into “Man Alive” adding extra flavour to their fundamentally prog-approach but that, along with the solo and the seven minute plus run time, means this one does come across as a little indulgent in places. The title track practically echoes its own name; essentially describing the entire known inhabited land mass, meaning Ecumene sadly seems to go on forever, sounding mostly sluggish throughout, before we eventually finish up doing a bit of shopping back in Cardiff. I jest; “Queen Street” closes proceedings with another folk-inspired acoustic-led ballad…quaint but anti-climactic. Overall mind you, it’s easy to see why Culann hit the ground running following their formation; with a knack for a clean melody, lyrical storytelling and well-executed instrumentation, it certainly seems unjust that they’re still currently unsigned.  Prog-rock IS more of an acquired taste, just like the aforementioned haggis, but it’s certainly worth a try…[6]

When it comes to Greece, aside from being an immensely popular Mediterranean tourist destination, little is known about the countries musical culture from an alternative perspective. Sure in the past I’ve covered artists such as SADDOLLS, who fly the flag for gothic rock equally wonderfully and woefully, and more recently, black metal artists such as ROTTING CHRIST, but, who else could you associate alternative music to Greece with?  GUS G is arguably the biggest name given his catalogue of work and collaborations…VANGELIS? He IS a celebrated and critically acclaimed composer and progressive electronic artist, but he doesn’t REALLY count…what about Meteora? LINKIN PARK named an album after the place? OK, fine I’m clutching at straws! It’s safe to say that, unless you really dig, Greece isn’t a country renowned for its rock and metal…but that’s where today’s band comes in.

Yes today we’re going to be talking about a ‘band’ by the name of SIXSTRINGNOISE, who got in touch with me not too long ago via email, so before I get into things I’d like to say Σας ευχαριστώ που έρθετε σε επαφή! Formed in 2010 by founding (And currently sole member) Markos 6SN, it didn’t take long after his digital debut “Snowing Bullets While Kissing The Ground” for him to want to hit the stage and perform live, recruiting Alex D and Alex B (Drummer and bassist respectively) in 2011. With a penchant for hard rock and metal, they toured up and down Greece, establishing themselves as hot local talent in the Athens area, but after a couple of releases, we find them back down to just Markos as he releases album number four in 2019. The question is, just how noisy can one guitarist be? Let’s find out as we listen to “Relics”…

The album opens up with “How’s The World From Up There?” and we’re immediately met with some simple yet melodic riffs, before switching in some subtle prog-rock elements as it transitions through certain rhythmic variations. The chorus here is bold and soaring, with further key changes giving off an almost power-ballad vibe amidst the hard rock, but vocally at times it sounds more like a demo-quality recording which brings the track down a touch. Instrumentally fine, there’s some solid guitar work here but the vocals could probably be mixed and produced a little better…although it’s a decent opener regardless. “True Colours” keeps the riffs coming hard and heavy with a more metal inspired influence shining through musically; guitar solo included. In ways this pays ample homage to bands like ALTER BRIDGE in its delivery and overall sound; you can easily hear the likes of Myles Kennedy in this track inspirationally and again it’s a decent listen.

It isn’t all about the balls-out rock and roll with Markos mind you, as he’s able to mix things up here and there for a more diverse listening experience…”Underdog” in particular has a wonderfully relaxed country-rock vibe. He still incorporates some impassioned electric guitar but overall it’s a welcome change of pace. “The Old You” goes one step further by stripping back completely to an acoustic ballad and it’s really quite the emotive little track, and an album highlight to boot. The soft croon of the vocals here sounding better and it’s a proper lighters in the air track this, lovely stuff. Further highlights include “None Of Your Business” which while once more picking up the pace and aggression delivers all of the hooks and makes for a catchy hard rock number, with it's simple yet effective chorus. Sometimes all it takes is a great chorus and you’re invested; this is one of those times. Ignore the rest of the track, just, enjoy this chorus.

There are a couple of lesser moments, naturally, and mainly we find them mid-album. “Crack A Smile” houses more of that prog-inspired instrumentation and structure with a touch of fret-wankery thrown in for good measure, while “What’s Wrong With You?” has quite a repetitive chorus and poor gang vocals, honestly they sound like pub-level  karaoke at times…to answer your question Markos, what the fuck is wrong with me? Well right now I’m listening to this song…that’s what. We finish up then on the title track and it’s intro instantly reminds me of A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS but sadly there’s no synth-pop to be found in this instance…instead we’re given a dramatic, metal inspired track with deep riffs and a methodical, militant tempo, almost combining those Alter Bridge influences with a slight middle eastern flavour. It’s not a bad track but it is a slow burner, ending the album on a slightly damp note. It’s safe to say that, SixStringNoise can’t be done for false advertising…Markos plays the guitar, and he makes some noise…which is all well and good, but is the noise worth listening to? Sure there are some genuinely interesting moments dotted throughout these ten tracks and there is definitely promise and potential, but sadly at times the vocal production side of things let’s this album down. That’s not to dismiss this entirely though…I honestly hope Markos continues to make all of the noise and helps encourage an alternative music scene in and around Athens. We could market a new wave of Greek rock…we could call it; Grock…I’m a fucking genius. [6]