As I’ve stated plenty of times before, back in the early 2000’s, we were in the height of the Nu-Metal era. All of the freshest bands were peddling in down tuned guitars; combining elements of alternative rock and metal, with rap and hip-hop, and traces of the tail end of grunge, and while the likes of LIMP BIZKIT and LINKIN PARK were riding high with chart success and platinum albums, there was always going to be a place, for good old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll. It’s at the very core of what we enjoy under many guises today, as rock ‘n’ roll will never truly die. By that I mean, it’s like CARRY ON films, they’re dated as fuck but, they’re fondly remembered for what they were. Nowadays we have an ever so slightly over-saturated market for modern classic rock bands but, that’s a whole different kettle of fish, and we aren’t talking about when rivers meet in the kitchen... 

Today, we celebrate another anniversary, as twenty years ago, Suffolk based spandex enthusiasts THE DARKNESS unleashed their debut album; “Permission To Land”. Permission was granted too, as they spent four weeks holding onto the coveted UK No.1 Album spot in the official charts, selling over a million copies, fending off the likes of IRON MAIDEN and DAVID BOWIE. It won them Brit Awards and made them rock ‘n’ rolls newest stars. Now, in 2023, let’s look back and shine another light on The Darkness, as we check out their new four-disk anniversary set and grant them “Permission To Land...Again”. 

Disk one kicks off with the original album plus a couple of demos, and we’re greeted with a little folklore a la “Black Shuck”. An East Anglian death omen, a devil dog of sorts, it supposedly terrorised church folk, but here it’s all very tongue-in-cheek. We’re treated to some ascending riff and drum work, very bluesy and gritty, before we’re met with front-man Justin Hawkins, and his unique and impressively high vocal range. He jovially sings of how this demon dog don’t give a fuck, as they swagger through a high energy hard rock number, with wailing guitars and a simplistic AC/DC-esque intensity. It’s a fun opener and caught many by surprise. 

Next up we have our first solid album highlight, by the brief bombardment of lead single “Get Your Hands Off My Woman”. The rolling intro of gradually built bass and cymbals, leading into a flurry of intense glam rock, with some insanely high-pitched vocal screeches. It’s got light punk rock qualities in its attitude and fuzzy production, coupled with the frenetic solo, but it’s an undeniably entertaining piece of rock. This certainly caught people's attention in the February of 2003.  

To say the album was top heavy, would be a fair assessment, as the following three tracks were also singles, and they certainly wanted to make an impression. “Growing On Me” is a twisted tale of relationship uncertainty; jumbled emotions and confusion, treating love almost like a fungus. Who’s really growing on who? Justin here is incredibly juxtaposed in what he wants, or feels, but there is definitely something there. Dan Hawkins is once again allowed to let rip on a guitar solo and this is just a band in full swing. 

Speaking of full swing, we have the bands piece de resistance... “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”. A 21st century anthem, it’s undeniably their biggest song, and the track that put them on the map. From the music video battling space aliens, to the catchy, sing-along harmonies where EVERYONE tried to reach those high notes and failed miserably. It’s got clap-along qualities and riffs not seen since the likes of QUEEN and it’s just splendid. Arguably overplayed at rock clubs and alternative DJ nights, but it’s still a fantastic, light-hearted rock number. 

The albums strongest track though, debatably, is “Love Is Only A Feeling”. The gentle nature of this sweet, emotive rock ballad is simply stunning. The guitars and overall tone ooze a mature sense of longing and heartache, and the Spanish guitars, with subtle keys merely add a level of romanticism. And that solo too! This is played with passion and a sense of honesty rarely found in rock bands. This is from the heart and it’s wonderful. 

The remaining half of the album is fine, but as previously stated it has been front-loaded. “Friday Night” has some jovial lyrics about ping-pong, badminton and gymnastics, it’s a quirky song about being nerds at school, but meeting at a dance hall and reconnecting. It’s sweet in its delivery but emphasises naïve, youthful romance. It’s like, “Friday I’m Love” by THE CURE in a catsuit and far less Goth. “Holding My Own” closes the album with another ballad, and as touching as it is, can’t compete with our previous efforts. 

The demos consist of unreleased tracks like “Out Of My Hands” and “Nothings Gonna Stop Us”, which are fine ballads and energetic numbers respectively, while “Black Shuck” gets the Vincent Price homage with a creepy intro a la “Thriller”. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” has the elements in place but it’s slower, with more synth underlay, and is a far cry from the finished song. A couple of tracks to check out but, the band picked all of the right singles to be fair. With the added production quality of course. I believe in a thing called studio engineering.  

The following review that you’re about to read, came about purely by chance, as, the band and album in question were not even on my radar, let alone my infinite list of shit to listen to. No, today’s review can be credited to Nikki Smash, who I write content for over at RIFF YARD MEDIA. Courtesy of ONE EYED TOAD RECORDS, SaN PR forwarded Nikki the upcoming debut album from Hertfordshire based metal outfit RAZE, entitled “Pyrography”, scheduled for release on July 28th, and he himself gave it the review for the RYM website. (Check that out here). 

So, you may be wondering where I come into it? Nikki has a brilliant mind and is a very smart dude when it comes to the music industry, but review writing isn’t something he does a great deal of, and so he asked me for my opinion on his review, because he felt he may have been a bit too harsh, or, blunt? You’re probably thinking, then why the fuck did he ask me of all people? Good question, but I read it over, and it was a very well put together, professionally critical piece of reviewing, that had no issues with its content whatsoever.  

He was worrying about nothing essentially. I always say if you genuinely think something, commit it to pen, no point in watering down integrity. This is where I then said, casually, it could have been worse, I could have reviewed it! We laughed, then it dawned on me that, I have a blog of my own, which brings us to the here and now. So, with that being said; if Nikki thought HE was being harsh, well, someone hold my beer damnit. New question; will this Raze to the occasion and impress me, or is this pyro going to go up like the Grenfell Tower; a poorly planned tragedy? Let’s find out... 

We open with “Maple”, but don’t expect bacon and pancakes, this ain’t no breakfast of champions. We get a deep, brooding guitar led opening with light cymbal's littering the background, before a more surging dose of melodic metal sweeps through, and it’s promising. The clean vocals have a very delicate baritone, before Louis Dunham takes off with a soaring chorus section. The ALTER BRIDGE and TREMONTI influences plain to see, and it's going well...before the growling. As it happens, the band threw LAMB OF GOD down as an influence too, so naturally the best thing to do is combine everything, and squeal like a rabid pig over parts of a generally decent song, ruining the ever-loving fuck out of it. It doesn’t fit, it does neither the track or Louis any favours, and is delivered with about as much grace as a coat hanger abortion.  

Follow up track “Better Off Alone” starts off harnessing more of a core heavy metal style, channelling further influences like MACHINE HEAD, but it also has an air of PANTERA to it in places. The heavier, guttural vocals do feel more at home here, as the instrumentation is more befitting of such a brutal approach; it isn’t jarring in any way, and the cleaner notes compliment the growls much better here. An admittedly sluggish, plodding riff carries the bulk of the track, and the guitar solo is sadly lost in a barrage of audible throat cancer, while drummer Ethan Morter smashes his plates like a bull in a China shop. Way overlayered here and it’s another potential highlight spoiled. 

Next up we have their most recent single “Roachman”, and this could be considered an album highlight. When they focus on clean melody, and incorporate their Southern-tinged hard rock, they actually have something decent going, as individually it is clear they are all incredibly competent performers and musicians, all of the potential is there, but there seems to be this need for everyone to be in the limelight, and these tracks at some point or another feel clustered and congested. Again, guttural vocals not necessary here, bringing the track down, and this one simply feels like two different tracks trying to work at once. Oh, and we HAVE to mention the video. Part live performance footage from their local town hall with all eleventeen people in attendance, part stop-motion claymation footage. Remember when CKY had that video for “Inhuman Creation Station” that was all stop-motion, that Bam directed? Yeah, this isn’t that. This is more like, Morph from “SMart”, but Mark Speight sculpted him AFTER he hung himself... 

The rest of the album finds itself in a bit of a pattern creatively. “C. Exigua” contains some quality guitar work and a pleasant solo, while “...Again” takes things too far, over-delivering on the fret-wankery, almost trying too hard. “Mellow Breeze” utilises some more crooned vocals for a slight change of pace but it’s quite anti-climactic, while “W.B.C.” again is very heavily layered in production. There is a lot going on here and we find another track blended in a messy, convoluted headache. Closing track “Blue Sky Vengeance” does have some enjoyable, funky bass lines that stand out because you can actually hear them here, but that’s about it for that. 

As stated, as musicians, these lads can very obviously play, and they are more than technically proficient. Yes, it’s their debut album, yes, they want all the bells and whistles and yes, they have the potential to deliver some genuinely strong material in the probably near future, but they need to rein it in a little and understand less can be more. A lot of the time they don’t allow each other room to breathe, and the result is an often time needlessly noisy album. “Pyrography” sounds like a combination of pyromania and pornography...which I guess they think is hot by some means of a burning passion? It’s more like gonorrhea if you ask me; treatable but best not to have it in the first place...[4] 

It’s weird, right? We’re at the arse end of 2022, and Covid still crops up in the conversation regarding bands plans and ideas. Typically, you’d find that bands were a bit lost, because tours were cancelled, so they’d push some extra exclusive merch to compensate, or …they’d work on a cheeky EP to tide fans over, or even just jump straight into writing their next album. But oh no, not LORDI...

The Finnish Eurovision favourites decided fuck it; following 2020’s “Killection”, they weren’t going to get to work on the next album, or even a double-album, no, that’s too uninspired; unoriginal and quite frankly boring. The band decided to work on a concept BOX-SET, of SEVEN consecutive new and original albums,  between 2021-2022 under the banner of “Lordiversity”.  

A modern, retroactive time-capsule, it spans multiple genres, eras and sounds, spanning decades, covering the growth and evolution in fashionable rock ’n’ roll, but with that beastly, Lordi twist. The question is; can a bunch of pantomime shock rockers pull off such a feat? Let’s find out, as we plough through these 78 tracks, wishing they could have settled for an EP... 

The series starts off with “Skelectric Dinosaur” and we find ourselves back in the late 1970’s, where rock music was at that initial turning point. That transition between the more innocent, formative rock ‘n’ roll, swing and more blues influenced styles, to what we now refer to separately as classic rock.  It opens up with “SCG Minus 7: The Arrival” and with its church organs, haunting wails and children's giggles, telling you that “Monsters are coming” …it’s quite the creepy introduction. This however leads us into disappointment, as we’re greeted with first track proper; “Day Off Of The Devil”.  

Musically absolutely fine for the style they are going for, imagine, KANSAS, or, ALICE COOPER or even BLUE OYSTER CULT, they’ve nailed that classic guitar tone and recording quality, credit to them, and it’s a decent, chilled out rock track, however the intro promised something a lot more sinister. The question is, how DOES the devil spend his days off? Is he there with a bowl of Coco Pops, sat on the couch in his pyjamas watching Disney+ on a Saturday morning? Who knows.... who cares...not me.  

“Starsign Spitfire” has a very slow, plodding pace to it, while it does have some decent backing vocal harmonies elevating the chorus. “The Tragedy Of Annie Mae” has a very DEEP PURPLE-esque bass-line fuelling the track and it rumbles along nicely. We do eventually finish album one off with “...And Beyond The Isle Was Mary”, and we get a quaint, piano-filled piece with rainy sound effects, resulting in a gentle closing number.  They nailed the sound of the era and have delivered well here overall; it’s not a bad start. 

Next up we have the album “Superflytrap” and we transition rather quickly from the origins of rock and early metal, into the bright lights of the discotheque. The intro piece, “SCG Minus 6: Delightful Pop-Ins" is totes cringe babes, with the porn parody content. Some bimbo taking in the pizza guy, and the pool guy, like some seedy classic blue-movie plot-segue, until the monster breaks in and there’s screaming and terror, and it’s all a bit shit. I pray Asylum don’t read this; their movies are bad enough as it is... 

The actual opening tracks “Macho Freak” and “Believe Me” are a bit better. It’s not always easy to recreate that nostalgic disco/club vibe musically with it coming out authentic, but credit to a band like Lordi, they’ve managed it. The funk-fuelled synths, alongside the twangy guitars, in this day and age remind me of DEREK BISHOP if you’re interested in modern disco, and to be fair, the band, despite their appearance, don’t sound cheesy doing this. “Bella From Hell” capitalises on some genuinely soulful backing vocals, while “Cast Out From Heaven” tries to be a genuine ballad, and, let's be honest, the vocals do NOT suit this approach. This is too jarring.  

Where do we go from here?  Album number three; “The Masterbeast From The Moon”, and we enter prog-rock territory. Inspired by the likes of PINK FLOYD etc, it’s a more ambitious piece but do a band like Lordi have the ability to pull this off? Let’s get one thing straight here, no... the answer is no. “Moonbeast” utilises an almost GHOST-like character instrumentally but that’s genuinely as good as it gets. The praise ends here. “Hurricane Of The Slain” highlights this point as, the piano rich, orchestrally led strings of the track are gorgeous, but the clash with the gruff vocals absolutely ruins things. It’s all well and good trying new things musically, but when the vocals are so often stagnant, it has a detrimental effect on the entire project. “Church Of The Succubus” at over 11 minutes fits better in the whole prog-rock aesthetic, but even that can’t save this record.  

What do we have next? “Abusement Park”, and I can’t lie to you, I do love a play on words; this title tickles me. It reminds me of JOHNNY KNOXVILLE in the film “Action Point”, but I digress. The title track absolutely reeks of classic heavy metal with the pacing, the key transitions, the style of percussion, it’s got a semi-MOTORHEAD vibe to it as well as the likes of W.A.S.P., almost power-metal in places, and it’s very up-tempo and energetic. It can be a bit cheesy with some incredibly cliched names like “Ghost Train” and “Rollercoaster”, but it’s to be expected. “Carousel” has some wonderfully emotive, smooth, sensual guitar playing that reek of the 80’s, while “Pinball Machine” harbours this strong AC/DC, or, JUDAS PRIEST level of vocal screeching.  

“Nasty, Wild & Naughty” harbours all of that overdone rock ’n’ roll sleaze lyrically, despite being a catchy piece of rock with all of the cowbell, before “Merry Blah Blah Blah” comes out of the blue as a Christmas single. The bells and choirs are there, the Santa references are there... but do you know what is also there? Me, making Ebeneezer Scrooge feel uncomfortable with my lack of festive spirit. Pull a cracker, the joke will be this song, I promise. I mean, WHY?! 

Next up we have “Humanimals” and we’ve reached our more, BON JOVI and AOR inspired tracks, and it shows. Opening track proper “Borderline” has a real, I guess, bon-jovial vibe to it (I’m sorry) with its light, up-beat synths and almost hushed percussion. The chorus houses some smoother gang vocals and its honestly quite the pleasant little track instrumentally. “Victims Of The Romance” utilises a more guitar driven approach in comparison but it reeks of that, all-too parodied hair-metal era. If you choose to picture Lordi with mullets in spandex, well, that challenging wank is on YOU my friend. “The Bullet Bites Back” stands out with its genuinely sleek guitar tones, and especially it’s solo, before we revisit “Like A Bee To The Honey”. A decent piece (Written by KISS) but, two years old, and practically becoming filler at this point.  

Our penultimate album, “Abracadaver” leans further into the emergence of what we now fondly refer to as modern metal, with that transitional period, from the mid to late 1980’s into the 1990’s. Ignoring the now tedious intro bit, we dive into “Devilium”, and we’re met with a bombardment of riffs, old-school thrash metal aesthetics and vocals that could make onions cry. The title-track isn’t much better truth be told. You CAN hear “Big-4” elements but the track does eventually descend into utter fret-wankery. “Beast Of Both Worlds” is arguably as good as it gets on this one, with it’s very SLAYER-esque chugging riff-work and rhythmic snarls. Done well enough but, beyond dated. 

Finally, then, and oh how glad I am knowing this (Excited for this one? Hell no, I’m just glad this is over with), we round things up with “Spooky Sextravaganza Spectacular” and that name alone reeks of ROB ZOMBIE. “Demon Supreme” utilises darker synths and a semi-industrial aesthetic to give the ol' Dragula a right good rear ending. It’s a touch repetitive but it’s got an energy to it and reminds me of POWERMAN 5000 in ways. “Lizzard Of Oz” houses more chugging riffs, with a strong electronic core sound, something which a more industrial metal unit might partake-in.  

“Skull And Bones (The Danger Zone)” repeats this seemingly Rob Zombie inspired instrumental direction, with it sounding aesthetically very similar. “Shake The Baby Silent” is top quality parenting advice it has to be said, Mr. Lordi collecting his dad of the year award over here, well done. Skip the bottle feed, jump straight to infanticide. It took seven albums but we do actually get our first actual stand-out highlight in the form of “Terror Extra-Terrestrial”. The intro spoils it a little bit, with its E.T parody segue, but we get a frankly quirky piece of synth-driven hard rock, and it’s honestly rather catchy. We ultimately finish up very ironically however, with the track “Anticlimax”...and I’m not even going to make any jokes here, the audio speaks for itself. After seven albums, completing this seventy-eight-track endurance test has to be rewarded in some aspect surely? Not in the slightest. 

Lordi tried something different here; they have to applauded for their creative ambition, that’s without question. What DOES need to be questioned though, is why the hell they couldn’t do seven concept EP’s instead of seven full bloody albums? They could have very easily cherry-picked specific highlights, and made a far more digestible, and more importantly, enjoyable listening experience. Seventy-eight tracks, allows for far, far too much filler, and truth be told, fodder. They managed to occasionally hit certain spots musically, and instrumentally to diversify these albums into their genre’s, which is the entire point OF “Lordiversity” as a concept, but vocally they just aren’t capable of really delivering; it’s very one-dimensional for the most part, and that grates over time.

In summary... Monstrous? Check. Mediocre? Also check. If concept albums are your thing, love anthologies and collecting box-sets, or simply are a die-hard Lordi fan, you'll likely enjoy this for what it is. If you specifically like a certain style or genre, feel free to sift through your own preferences accordingly, you MIGHT get something out of it, but, as a complete package, this is at a level of grandiosity Lordi really shouldn't be dabbling in. For me? This review is finally over...give me a hard rock hallelujah! [4]

Allow me to preface the following review, with an outpouring of regret, grief, more regret, bewilderment and, a little bit more regret, through a literary veil of self-therapy. There was absolutely zero reason, obligating me to conduct the following review, but, at the same time, there was absolutely EVERY reason that I couldn’t NOT do this review. This is the review equivalent of Hogan v Warrior at WrestleMania VI, but with more baby oil...let me set the stage. 

You know by now that, while I am perfectly capable of writing a decent, or at the very least, serious review, whether here or over on ALL ABOUT THE ROCK, I get my kicks out of the more, unusual and questionable releases available to me. I can point my finger at the likes of, KIM PETRAS, or, going back to COREY FELDMAN; I like a challenge, but this is the sort of thing that can break a man. This can Brokeback Mountain the fuck out of a man...this is “Ram Ranch” by GRANT MACDONALD, and I blame young Charlie Bryant for this 1 hour and 7 minutes of audio torture. Even the inmates at Guantanamo Bay would feel sorry for me here, but, fuck it...saddle up, we’re going in (Dry)… 

Firstly, who IS Grant Macdonald? Little is known about this alleged Canadian, other than that he might be Canadian, and his name might be Grant Macdonald...he’s like the BANKSY of homoerotic cowboy rock. The album we’re tackling today originally came out in 2012, so, aside from being a rare case of retrospective reviewing from me, we’ve had a decade to process, and at times, begrudgingly accept “Ram Ranch”. It’s been used as pro-LGBTQ+ content in protests and rallies, and over its existence it became a running meme and an ongoing source of absurdity. To this day Grant has apparently released SIX HUNDRED variants of “Ram Ranch”, which is frankly both impressive and alarming. Dude has a passion, what can I say? With that said, the only way is down, as we process this piece of... art? 

The album opens up with the title track, and, we initially have a dose of rather subdued heavy metal instrumentation, with all of the riffs, licks and kick drums. I say subdued because it’s practically background noise. On a production level, it’s like a demo in terms of audio quality, but the capability is there, that in itself is promising...but it’s the vocal content that draws attention here.  

Allow me to set the tone lyrically; “18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch, big hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked, 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked? Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch on their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks; Ram Ranch really rocks!”. This is the primary content of the track from start to finish, and it’s the absurdity of this that, at first, makes it mildly amusing and, quite distressing simultaneously. The worst bit? The spoken-word over metal sounds like, CHILLS, arguably THE WORST YouTube narrator in the history of the internet, got a record deal. The repetition and looping of track one IS painful, sure, but we have 11 tracks left. Even my Jack Daniel’s needs a Jack Daniel’s... 
 
Second track “Plowboy” has such a reverberated overlay of vocal samples, it becomes an absolute trippy mess from the moment it starts, with some, moog-esque synths, setting the tone for some almost 70’s porn rock sleaze. It’s the kind of thing to make your eye twitch, which one all depends on you and your tastes, I’m not here to discriminate. 

Next up we have, “Cowboys Fucking Cowboys” and, you remember when KID ROCK was like, “I wanna’ be a Cowboy baby!”? Yeah, we’re going to shatter his dreams right now. The gentle acoustics here could easily, EASILY be used for a more serious, affectionate country ballad, but there’s so much lyrical cowboy fucking here, riding butthole’s deep...it’s like...you know when ROGER ALAN WADE did “If You’re Gonna’ Be Dumb” for JACKASS, but instead of a montage of stunts, it was gay porn...that about sums it up. 
 
“Prince Harry” returns abruptly to that riff-heavy metal musicality, and it’s a wonder how the ever-loving fuck he got away with this one. I don’t know if this would be art, slander, or character assassination, but telling him to ride those big hard ram ranch cowboy cocks, bouncy, bouncy up and down, up and down, drink that cum, ram another cock up your royal bum? I don’t even know where the line is legally with this. I think of Harry now, in 2022, but this was ten years ago, ok Harry was still 28 at the time, but Christ. This is worse than that time he wore that Nazi costume to a party and made the front page. Who would have thought THAT could be topped? 

Next up, I feel personally attacked, as we have “Suck That Cock Gavin”, and, no. Firstly I’m not even joking, that’s that track name! I’m barely here to listen to the album, I’m certainly not signing up for that. I recently reviewed VR SEX and not even they were that immersive, calm the fuck down Grant! Or at least buy me dinner first!? I’ll take the salad, hold the ram ranch dressing please... 

“Big Hard Cowboy Cock” sounds like, generic mid 90’s WCW music, excluding the lyrics, obviously, Ted Turner wouldn’t tolerate that. Imagine like, the Nitro Girls were gay cheerleaders? Disco Inferno and Alex Wright would have much better careers. ” Hard Horsecock” implies that we’re entering the world of bestiality here now, and I don’t even know what I can get away with. We’ve all heard the phrase ‘hung like a horse’, but this is sung like a cunt. “12 Inch Cock” has industrialised metal elements but it’s more like, queer factory than FEAR FACTORY, while “Stable Boy” houses a more urbanised gangsta-rap / hip-hop aesthetic, but it drops more soap than it does bars. 

Ultimately, whoever Grant Macdonald is...he’s committed. Or at least he should be. Credit to him, I can barely think of the words to sum this up. Not since AC/DC has an artist produced so much content with so little substance. Sure, he’s able to mix it up musically, utilising rock and metal, country and Americana, as well as hip-hop, so he’s technically actually better than AC/DC, but lyrically and vocally, I’m assuming it’s something you have to be in-on, or, ‘get’.

Ideal for reaction videos, or making friends and family question you when they hear you play it on Spotify, but, at over an hour long, it’s not a fun album in the slightest, and once the initial shock wears off, and you’ve done the whole “Wtf?” head shake, it very quickly becomes monotonous and boring. Let’s be honest, there’s only so much hard throbbing cowboy cock you can take, y’know? No? Ok then... [0]

OK so Summertime is upon us, or, is at least around the corner...perhaps. It’s hard to tell in Wales sometimes to be honest, seriously; it’s Wales, not ‘whales’, we don’t require this much water so regularly so can you please stop raining? I jest it’s been pretty decent recently, and that is quite possibly because I’ve been privately praying to today’s band; CVLT OV THE SVN. No, I haven’t had a stroke, that’s how it’s presented (Obviously it’s Cult Of The Sun) and I will say right now that they are personally, one of my favourite discoveries in recent memory. 

Hailing from Finland, because of course they do...all my favourite bands do...it’s a project shrouded in a sense of mystique and intrigue, as the ensemble wishes to explore the darkness with a sense of macabre, theatrical flair on their debut album “We Are The Dragon”. Released on NAPALM RECORDS, let's see just how these darkest of stars can brighten up your summer playlists. 

​The album appropriately kicks off with the title track and we’re met with a surprisingly up-beat, jovial guitar tone...this is a lot more melodic than expected but there are zero complaints with that. I had a similar experience with GHOST’s debut album; expecting some brutally dark doom metal but getting some kind of deeper, BLUE OYSTER CULT type effort. Seriously the song structure here revels in its simplicity but it’s an effective hook, which is in turn countered by the sinister, snarling vocals. Honestly, it's like the DANHAUSEN of rock songs; very nice...very evil. It meanders pleasantly enough and gets the album underway in an interesting and unexpected manner, but it’s all good. 

Follow up track “My Venom” takes things down an admittedly darker path...the initially twangy guitar leads into some seriously atmospheric, intense instrumentation, before we blend elements of thrashy punk with chilling alt-rock. We soon realise that the vocals here don’t necessarily have a lot of range or depth, as we find ourselves sticking fast to a husky, raspy delivery. While it would be fine to chastise the lack of diversity, the style is effective enough to carry the tracks, and it gives them and in turn this entire album, it’s character. 

Having established the general approach for the record, we can easily appreciate that from here on it just goes from strength to strength, with several notable highlights. “Luna In The Sky Forever” in ways reminds me of the aforementioned Ghost with its catchy electronic-tinged bassline and simple, synth-laden groove. “Don’t Be Tender Love Me Cruel” has a slower, more methodical pace that allows emphasis on the emotive guitar tones, which, coupled with the self-depreciative lyrical drawl, creates a sultry, almost masochistic offering. 

If it’s up-tempo you want then this bunch of cvlts have you covered too, as album highlight “Twilight” luckily has absolutely nothing to do with Stephanie Meyer. Nary a sparkling vampire in sight, we get a fantastically infectious dose of punk-tinged hard rock with more hooks than Leatherface’s lady-pantry. At its core, the up-tempo bass riff and simplistic chugging could be mistaken for something by, RISE AGAINST or BAD RELIGION, before the darker characteristics kick in. This is a great track. “Hellbound” keeps things nice and intense with some initially pummelling percussion and another dose of deeply self-depreciating lyrics... ”My mind is an endless well of negative thoughts...in its prime; shows me no remorse”. Relatable fam. “Whore Of Babylon” is then equally relatable (Can I get a H’oooohhhhhhhh Yeahhh from all my fellow sluts? I’m kidding...I’m KIDDING!) but the blackened metal flurry can’t help but raise more than a few horns. 

In terms of alternative music, Cvlt Ov The Svn have seemingly cherry picked some quality influences stylistically for this debut. There’s a sprinkle of black metal and gothic imagery, there’s a brilliantly fun, punk-esque hard rock quality to a lot of the instrumentation, there are almost doom inspired atmospherics and it’s all wrapped up with an almost pop music production quality, and it works perfectly! These Finns have dropped what is personally, a contender for the album of the year in my eyes and ears...believe me, I am a dragon too, and I’ve got one on my flag to fucking prove it! [9]​

Stonehenge... Göbekli Tepe... Dot Cotton; all ancient wonders steeped in rich cultural history, going back centuries, even millennia. Or, you could just say; old as fuck. Naturally you may be wondering where I’m going with THIS segue... am I about to veer off into some, Neolithically geographical Ted Talk? Am I about to roast June Brown for pretending to run a laundrette into her 90’s knowing damn well the next spin cycle might outlive her? I jest...and I exaggerate.  

Today we’re going to be taking a fresh look at a Welsh band by the name of RECLUSE. You see, I’ve known front-man Britt several years now, and that’s where the intro to this review came from. He messaged me recently asking how things were, and that he’d like to get my thoughts on the band's newest album, seeing as I’d been part of their journey since their debut...he said that I felt at least a small part in their continued story, which to be honest was quite sweet.  

I do indeed remember championing their debut album “Crooked Heart”, but when I went to back-read my thoughts on it here for references, I realised that it actually pre-dates this entire blog! My first GTGC blog post was in 2014, yet I was playing Recluse on my old radio show back in 2011/2012! In the words of Mike Bracken; “Christ I’m Old!”. With that said, let's roll back the years and dust off the cobwebs as we check out “Lay Your Darkness Down With Me”... 

We open up with the track “Stomah”, and like any normal person, I found myself Googling the word to get some context as to what the track could mean conceptually, but the results drew more blanks than the infertile department of your local sperm bank. Naturally I ask Britt what the story was, and the reply? It’s a spelling mistake from Kurt Cobain’s journal, talking about his debilitating stomach cramps, that has nothing to do with the actual songs content itself. For fuck's sake Britt. I digress...the track itself is a fine slab of fuzzy guitar and bass that pushes and enhances his rough and ready vocals; combining the early 90’s grunge aesthetic with more stoner rock and sludge elements, and it’s a fine opener. 

Follow up track “You Get Out Alone” retains this approach with the deeper, rumbling bass complimenting the higher vocal notes. This more powerful, prominent vocal performance gives the track a far more positive energy, almost channelling the likes of SOUNDGARDEN for example, really coming to life towards the tracks climax. Album highlight “Throat” then takes things back down a notch, returning to their more stoner rock influences and there are moments here that could easily befit a QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE setlist. It’s got a solid groove and the distortion and muffling on the guitars again adds ample character; not to be mistaken for lack of production quality or recording cost-cutting...this gives the track a raw, visceral sound that works wonderfully for their stylistic delivery. This wouldn’t sound anywhere near as good too crisp or overly produced.  

“The Quiet Hours” by contrast slows things right down, to more of that sludge-heavy style for a truly moody, brooding piece of alternative rock, that wouldn’t be out of place on the soundtrack to “The Crow”, and is every as bit as enjoyable as the aforementioned, despite coming from opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of delivery. That’s just one half of the album mind you...as Recluse also indulge in several spots of prog inspired writing. “Werewolves” disappoints slightly as I was expecting some bestial savagery to rip through my speakers and maul me with an intense flurry of riffs and percussion, but it’s drawn-out instrumental intro somehow manages to bridge the likes of DEFTONES with the earliest of CKY days, before some very subdued vocals bring the expectations down even further. 

The main issues here however, come from two tracks taking up nearly thirty minutes of the album's hour and three-minute run time...and how they drag. “Olympus” being the longest of the tracks here initially starts off interestingly enough, like it’s about to veer off into some bluesy country-rock, but soon descends into an extended piece of everything we’ve heard prior, and like its name suggests, is a mountain to listen to if you're lacking in the old attention department. Closing track “Le Rose Hotel” then isn’t AS long but is arguably the weakest track on the record. Another needlessly long instrumental intro makes you wonder if they were given a target of how long the albums run-time needed to be, as this is literally nothing but pointless filler at this point. We’re over eight minutes in actually and I’ve not heard a single word...remind me to never stay here, I don’t care what offers I’m presented with on Booking.com! 

Ultimately, Recluse have proven again that when they put their mind to it, they provide some of the finest modern era grunge going, keeping those sounds of the early to mid-nineties very much alive. They’ve shown growth over their three-album career to date and continue to expand their sound, though while the lengthy prog-inspired cuts aren’t for this particular reviewer, there’s definitely an audience for it and it’s a solid recording nevertheless. [6] 

What is there to say about 2020, that hasn't already been said? Within these reviews over the past nine months I've light-heartedly made reference to issues like Covid-19 and such, but let's not detract from the seriousness of the whole situation. As a calendar year, 2020 was one of the most difficult, frustrating, upsetting and confusing in recent history, and this isn't strictly down to Coronavirus...this time last year we were on the brink of World War 3! Politics has been a shambles, social injustice has been rife, the divide in both community spirit and the classes seemingly continues to grow, and generally speaking, the world is a complete mess. Luckily we've had music to keep us going, if not to keep us sane, and for that at least I am grateful. The images above showcase my personal highlights of 2020, grouped in categories covering pop, metal, EP's and general favourites, and it shows that, despite the state of the world, music flourishes. Music and the arts are SO important, as many of us learned during national lockdown, and we need to appreciate the people who dedicated their lives to creating that art SO much, because times like these prove we'd be lost without them. 

I mean, just looking at the cover art above, it's been as diverse a year as any. MILEY CYRUS embraced her inner rocker on her new album, having collaborated with the likes of BILLY IDOL and JOAN JETT. Groups like STEPS made an unexpected comeback showing they've still got it in an ever changing pop industry, as did MELANIE C. From a metal standpoint, PARADISE LOST prove they just get better with age, as they not only released one of the albums of their career, they also found themselves in the UK Top 40! Imagine that! Goth metal on Radio 1! It gives hope to newer acts like SOUTH OF SALEM who delivered a truly stunning debut album, and certify themselves as ones to watch for sure. There have also been plenty of superb EP's released over the past twelve months...especially VV. Ville Valo surprised everyone with his 3-track EP and HIM fans rejoiced at the new material, I for one certainly cannot wait to hear more from him. CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS put emphasis on the art as their whole EP was turned into one big choreographed music video which was impressive, while I personally made some brilliant discoveries in the form of LUCIA & THE BEST BOYS and JACKIE. 

Finally then, my official albums of the year, and I was spoiled for choice to be fair. THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE always deliver, they never release a bad album and I'm looking forward to catching up with Chibi on the rescheduled tour dates. MARILYN MANSON dropped his best album in years much to my delight, having found his last couple a little bit boring (Sorry Mazza!), GREY DAZE tugged at the heartstrings with a touching tribute to the late Chester Bennington, releasing unheard material from his pre-LINKIN PARK days, reminding us all how much we'll miss such a talented, brilliant human being. NINJA SEX PARTY on the other hand proved they remain one of the funniest groups around with their bonkers writing style, comedic lyricism and story-telling and wholesome attitude. Yes, 2020 has been a bit of a mess to say the least, but we've still got music, and as fans of that music, we've still got one another, and as a community, we need to hold on to that. With that said, below, is my official GTGC Spotify playlist of 2020, with 40 hand-picked tracks spanning the above records, and it is dedicated to my very good friend Scot 'JD' Rees, who is sadly no longer with us in body, but will forever be with us in heart and spirit. Whether he had a Jack & Coke in his hand, or his guitar, he was always laughing at something, and his energy for enjoyment was infectious. I will miss you Scot, and this compilation is for you. X

The end of the calendar year; a period of time this reviewer looks forward to annually. Not because of Christmas and the time-off work (Although the time-off is wonderful) and not because of the festive indulgence, because let’s face it I don’t need an excuse to drink, but because of the annual Winter Goth Getaway.  You may be thinking, what the hell is that? Is there some sort of alternative event that’s slipped under my radar?  

No... it’s basically myself and a group of friends, getting together every Winter, for a select live music adventure. Last year we hit London for the one-off UK date by THE 69 EYES, as well as hitting Bristol for the RXPTRS X-Mas bash...while in previous years we’ve been up and down the country to catch HIM, CKY and FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM. It’s become a tradition and a whole lotta fun...that was until Covid ruined everything. This year, my friends and I didn’t get to go to any special Winter gigs, meet awesome new people and get ludicrously drunk, resulting in Christmas this year being a little less black...and I won't stand for that. We need some Goth damnit! And I may just have a solution. 

​Cast your mind back to 2017, and I reviewed an interesting band by the name of FLOVER. The Italian/Russian project comprising of Fabio and Kolya respectively, had released their debut album “Dark & Sweet”, and you’ll remember I made sure to point out that they more than borrowed a lot of sound and substance from the aforementioned HIM, even going as far as naming their sound “Sweet Rock” in homage to “Love Metal”. While I jested that, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but identity theft is a crime, it was impossible to not appreciate their sound and style in the absence of a recently separated HIM. 2020, the bonkers year that it’s been, finds them releasing their follow-up album “Songs Of Our Broken Hearts”. Let's check it out and salvage whatever goth we can... 

​The album opens up with “Secret Romance” ...it’s a bit like Secret Santa, but you already know what it is...HIM. The sultry piano-led dose of rock easily lends itself to the earlier demo-days of “Razorblade Romance”, especially with the underlying, faint synths sounding like they’ve been inspired by “Too Happy To Be Alive”, coupled with the guitar tone and key changes...this is certainly pink era HIM, and a decent start as a result. At this point we may as well start playing Heartagram Bingo...but instead of numbers we’ll be looking for riffs, song structures, vocal harmonies and parodies. Eyes down folks, we’re playing for a full house... 

“Love Beyond Death” starts with some heavier guitar work initially and it’s quite “Venus Doom”, but the chorus melodies soon kick in and it sounds more akin to something taken out of the “Screamworks...” sessions. The chugging riff is balanced nicely with the more delicate piano and the vocal crooning, and it all blends well truth be told. The albums first real highlight comes courtesy of “Love’s Scarecrow” which for all intents and purposes is a pretty straightforward track; simple structure and decent chorus hooks, but it comes to life with an impressive albeit brief solo and the track has this wonderfully energetic, climactic crescendo. 

“The Kiss Of Death” is clearly a take on “Kiss Of Dawn” not only from a titular standpoint, but even in vocal tone and sonic structure...it only slightly differs in tempo and even the wailing, scratchy guitar solo mirrors Linde’s playing on “Venus Doom”...there’s a couple for your bingo card! Speaking of...”Stay With You”...for a moment I honestly thought I’d skipped an album and started playing HIM’s cover of THE RAMONES “Poison Heart”! That opening riff is practically the same! They’re parodying other bands covers of other bands now, we’re getting too deep here, this is some inception type shit. It’s going to get to a point where riffs and musicianship aren’t enough...I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them does an Ed Gein and wears Ville Valo’s skin. I jest, of course. “Lost Souls” takes our mind off this with another simple yet effective chorus hook, even though the pre-chorus more than teases hints of “Dying Song” in delivery, but it’s an enjoyable track, before the title track goes all “When Love And Death Embrace” ...and this once again sums up our listen. 

While I can sit here and scoff at the obvious likenesses to our favourite infernal majesties, and joke about plagiarism, in HIM’s absence, Flover do a great job of keeping that bittersweet sound of romantic melancholy alive. Sure, Ville Valo did surprise everyone this year with a three-track EP, teasing more work to come at some point, but all of that is very minimal and secretive. If you lack the patience for that, Flover offer a more than adequate substitute for Valo himself, and I’m sure you can find it in the depths of your blackest heartagram to appreciate the appreciation they have for the band we all love. After all, these ARE songs for our broken hearts. [7] 

So this review was not on my schedule…it wasn’t submitted to me as a request, nor was it generally even on my radar. Quite frankly I had absolutely no idea who the fuck these were, however, a good friend of mine Rob De Boer lovingly forwarded them to me. I’ve known Rob a few years now through mutual friends and a mutual love of HIM, and all things Jackass related, and the last time I saw him properly was when we saw CKY at Manchester. Fun night…Matt Deis got lost in the venue he was playing, and I think there was a stabbing…good gig though.

I digress…Rob has recently started up his own podcast called SETTING THE TONE, where he takes a moment to go over his thoughts and opinions of various new singles from up and coming artists, and generally discuss relevant topics in the music industry; openly sharing his views and is worthy of your support. He was sent this EP to check out and do a piece on, and wanted to know what I thought of them myself.  Now I don’t know Rob’s final thoughts on the artist, we’re a little different in our approach…but those of you who are regular readers can probably guess where this is going…

The band in question, are FIGHT THE TORNADO and I immediately hope their influences include Matt Hardy 1.0. Consisting of members Jonny Young on vocals and multi-instrumentation, and Lindzi North on vocals and…sanity maintenance? Both of whom were former members of the symphonic metal band CURSE OF DAWN (Part of me wonders if they were fired…harsh you say? Patience you must have my young Padawan) though we find them gearing up for the release of their debut EP “Maelstrom Of Thought” on June 26th. With that tornado in mind, are they going to blow us away or simply just suck? Let’s find out…

The EP begins with “Mercurial Inventions” and truth be told, the intro is actually promising…it’s got a light, bubbly electronic aura and sounds like it’s about to delve into some nostalgic synth pop…but without the slightest hint of transition we’re thrust into a barrage of progressive nu metal riffage and it’s like, where the actual fuck did this come from? You know that meme with the dog sat in a room on fire, stating that this is fine? This is the soundtrack to that image. It’s so off-kilter and jarring you can’t help but wonder if this really was intentional, and that’s before we even get to the vocals. Fleeting between snarling and angelic, though neither of them hit the mark; it’s like, I would have PERSONALLY paid for the use of autotune for you to save myself the grief of hearing this.

We follow this with EP highlight “Comfort Zone” and yes I actually said highlight there…we start off in a similar fashion combining pulsing electronica with metallic riffs but here it’s all blended noticeably better, as in, it’s actually blended. Vocally then, I want to point out that the snarls in ways remind me of NEW PROJECT and the aggressive aspects of this work, but when we get to the cleaner, melodic vocals it’s an actual dumpster fire. The chorus manages to hold a note, an albeit incredibly flat and lifeless one, but that is an achievement, trust me. The same issues arise during “Sensory Deprivation” and the title is more than fitting as I would sooner be deprived of my own sense of hearing than deal with this. How bad can this unconventionally tuned singing be I hear you ask? Well…here are just SOME ways to categorise this; a mute yodeller with a sore throat,  a wok full of spoons falling down the up-escalator like some painfully cacophonous slinky, the shared harmony of two stray cats shagging in the back lane. Not convinced? How about Wes Scantlin covering NIRVANA?

Sadly my friends, we aren’t done…the title track is an instrumental that to its credit, delivers conceptually, I’ll give it that. It goes from progressive rock and metal riffs, including a decent solo with more subtle synth work…before we introduce PAN PIPES out of nowhere, only to be followed up with alternating death metal blast beats and ambient reggaeton. I honestly can’t say ‘what the ever loving fuck’, with the adequate level of conviction here…seriously that was like a non-invasive lobotomy. If that wasn’t enough, “Atlas” kicks in with some goddamn BTEC “Tubular Bells” and I’m like, nope. I’m done. I’m out. Fight The Tornado? I would sooner gamble my genitals in a Dyson V10 Cyclone…and I can guarantee my cries of pain would hold better notes.  [2]

​So back in April, I reviewed an album for All About The Rock called “Italians Die Better”, by B-Movie punks SUPERHORROR. It was somewhat controversial given its title, as it was released during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic (One which we’re actually still in, despite the countries neither here nor there approach to public safety). Their background is plucked straight out of a low-budget zombie slasher, and while I did refer to them as a BTEC MURDERDOLLS, they are at least keeping the horror-punk scene alive. However, diving into my email submissions, I find an album forwarded to me by Stencil PR that predates the Italian’s…

Formed in Budapest, Hungary, THE HELLFREAKS are another seemingly horror-punk inspired outfit, consisting of vocalist Shakey Sue, guitarist Jozzy, bassist Domján Gabi and drummer Budai Béla, though they aren’t quite as tongue-in-cheek or gimmicky. Their own background simply stating that hell was “full” so they came back, but their original sound somewhat contradicts this at least in principle. Sure there were horror elements entwined within their lyricism, but as a generally psychobilly based band, I can’t so much as see them being denied entry to hell because HELL was too full, it’s more likely they were denied entry to an alternative club night for not having ID and exaggerated the story; embarrassed they couldn’t get served WKD. I mean there’s always room in hell for psychobilly!

I digress…over the years however they have adapted their sound to be more befitting of their name and claim, as 2020 finds them releasing their latest album “God On The Run”. With an angrier, seemingly more metallic approach to their writing, let’s see what the almighty father is fleeing…and does it explain the events of 2020 thus far? The album opens up with “Men In Grey” and you can immediately sense the increase in aggression compared to their debut…Sue’s vocals are coarse but retain a level of clarity and melody that drives the chorus hook home, all the while complimenting the more frenetic riff-work wonderfully. This is some enjoyable, up-tempo melodic alternative punk, and a solid start.

Recent single “Red Sky” then follows up and after a brief build we’re thrust into another dose of pacey, melodic alt. rock, combining pop sensibilities with a more vitriolic punk aesthetic…not too dissimilar to our opener but with ever so slightly less attitude; it’s cleaner with more harmony allowing for a generally smoother, easier listen without losing any bite. The rest of the album then  in all fairness sticks to this formula pretty vehemently, fleeting between those same duel aggressive and arresting aspects of their song writing style. “Doldrum Dynasty” is another great example of a simplistic yet really effective chorus hook amidst edgier guitar elements, while “Adrenalized” uses soaring gang vocals and almost pop-punk riffs to great effect, before we eventually finish up on “Tabby”. The odd one out as the slowest paced piece here; it’s got a deeper, darker,pulsing synth underlying some predominantly grunge-influenced hard rock, but this change of pacing is a pleasant one. It’s nice to know that they CAN shake things up a little more at least.

Ultimately while “God On The Run” doesn’t explain the complete shit storm 2020 is turning out to be, what it has done is turned a psychobilly horror-rock band into a more straight up, alternative punk rock monster with a more sleek, serious tone and less of a niche appeal…which is saying something. The only thing going against it is its lack of real overall diversity; as it’s pretty much all systems go until track ten, and while the melodies are tight, it CAN sound a little samey. If you’re a fan of SUMO CYCO and NEW YEARS DAY…check out The Hellfreaks…if they let you in that is. [8]

It’s strange how certain things just stick with you as you grow up…for example, let’s say…North Carolina. Random, I know, like, I’ve never been there, I don’t have any family there, but embedded in my brain, is the fact that despite being born in Tennessee, Ric Flair comes from Charlotte, North Carolina (It’s a kayfabe thing). With that in mind, when a band slides into your email submissions stating that they too are from North Carolina, you instantly find yourself shouting “WOOOOO!” and knife-edge chopping everything in close proximity. (Excuse any following typo’s as I write this with a broken hand)

The band in question, are MIRROR POINT, who hail from Sanford and Cedar Creek, NC and consist of members Marc Killian, Travis Jones and Sketchy J. They recently got in touch with me asking me to check out their debut album “Shine On” which was released earlier this year through Mokovo Records. With an apparent variety of stylistic influences, let’s see if Mirror Point can mirror The Nature Boy, and be the limousine-ridin’, jet-flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin-dealin’ sons of  guns I personally hope they are.

​The mini-album opens up with “Winner Takes All” and we’re immediately met with some back-to-basics riffs and the typically clean yet, slightly bourbon coated vocals that make up your classic blues rock songbooks. It plods along really quite casually, quite middle of the road really before eventually picking up in intensity, exuding a more passionate instrumental display towards the tracks climax. It takes a minute or two to warm up but it gets there in the end. Not deserving of any winners medals, but it doesn’t come last either…it’s just taking part really. Next up we have a track called “PhenoBarbieDoll” and it’s one of their local radio successes. Another melodic, hard rocking blues-based number, it’s aimed at the trappings and troubles caused by social media; the anxiety it can give you trying to keep up appearances, the expectations of maintaining your plastic lifestyle, the fear of failure and the longing for fame. It’s quite a socially relevant track that has its points, but let’s not beat around the bush here the title is terrible. “PhenoBarbieDoll” sounds like a rip off, of a SyFy rip-off, of a straight to DVD Asylum rip-off of a low-budget “Annabelle” rip-off. We actually ran out of barrel to scrape…

​Looking further into some of their outside influences however, we get to another local radio success by the name of “Is This Was This”…I mean, if this WAS is and is was it wasn’t isn’t it? I thought so. A Latin/Hispanic fuelled little love song with clear yet subtle funk elements, and a certain Mediterranean flare, but plays on regrets, second guesses, absence an emotional confusion, touching upon PTSD, yet delivered in a predominantly light hearted manner. “Just Push Play” continues with the genre experimentation courtesy of a genuinely interesting combination of soulful 70’s funk, lounge jazz and modern hip-hop with a completely out of the blue rap-breakdown. The contrast manages to work without sounding jarring or like the world’s worst Nu Metal band, and that competition is TIGHT, so credit to them there.

The remainder of the record primarily consists of more, textbook blues-based hard rock which does have its moments of instrumental appeal, but sadly does become pretty generic over the course of the album, that IS only seven tracks long remember. Sure they dabbled in a few genres to spice things up but on a scale of black pepper to Bhut jolokia, that spice is toothpaste. Collectively, “Shine On” is harmless enough and you can appreciate it’s basic blues rock appeal, I mean they’re on the radio back home so they’re climbing that ladder, and there is an audience for blues based hard rock, I mean look at BLACK STONE CHERRY…it’s do-able, just on this instance, “Shine On” isn’t even as bright as one of Ric Flair’s bejewelled robes, let alone the 16-time world champion himself. To be the man, you gotta beat the man…Mirror Point have not beaten the man. Mirror Point are more like David Flair than Ric at this point. [5]

I get A LOT of emails, not as many as big publications obviously, but for me, I get a lot, and I literally can’t keep up with them all. This means I either take virtually forever getting around to some reviews, resulting in the peak promotion period usually having been and gone, for that I do apologise. Sometimes I forget about submissions entirely, for which I also apologise, and a lot of the time, I’m sent singles. Now, this blog has been running since 2014 and 99% of the content here, bar the odd rare article, is comprised of EP and album reviews. I’ve nothing against the humble single, I miss the days of picking up CD singles in Woolworths wondering what B-Sides you’d be treated to…but writing a full review for just A single is something I’ve always personally deemed a bit of a ball ache.

Going forward, I am going to try to, once a week (The key word being try here, I’m making no promises) present a general collection of single submissions from my inbox in one article, to try and ensure I don’t miss out on potential gems, and more importantly, to also clear some space in my inbox (At this time of writing I have around 650 unread emails…LOL). With that in mind, here are seven randomly selected tracks that I have been sent, that I would like to share with you, in the first GTGC Unlucky Dip; the result of combining Speed Dating with the heartfelt Comedy Roast.

We're going to kick this feature off with a 4-piece from London by the name of HEAVYMAN. Comprising of vocalist/guitarist Charlie Yang, drummer Tom Papaloizou (I'm pretty sure he was in "The League Of Gentlemen"?) bassist Igor Fonseca and lead guitarist Nick Burns, they recently got in touch, stating that were fans of the blog and were themselves fueled by alcohol and sarcasm, asking me to check out their debut single "Baby Jean". How could I possible refuse?

Initially sounding like something you'd hear from early TURBONEGRO, it soon transitions into a more methodical, groove-rich slow jam of a southern blues rock effort. It covers all the bases with some slick guitar work and vocal swagger for some textbook classic blues rock. With more tracks scheduled to be released over the coming months, these are ones to watch.

"Now this is a story all about how my life got, at most, mildly inconvenienced, but I'd like to take a minute just to share this my friend, and talk about this new single by The Fresh Prince Of Bellend".

You know all the meme's with "Now listen here you little shit..."? Well that's essentially me right now with RORY K. A native of downtown Manhattan, New York, Rory was born into a musical family, with his dad having been in the late 80's socio-political rock group BLACK 47. So imagine his dad's disappointment to see Rory here peddling some of the most uninspired, cringe-worthy rap/hip-hop an eleventeen-year-old would perform, on the track "Heat Thru Your Body"...I bet he finds vanilla spicy.

From the intro that sounds like seagulls having a stroke, to the combination of abysmal lyrics and self-indulgent vocals...and the embarrassing video, it's just...no. The bit where Rory is, (I'll use this term loosely) "performing" in front of some street graffiti, why are you holding a mic? You look like an absolute tit mate. And you emailed me three times for this? Assuming I hadn't replied because I couldn't stop dancing to the track? I would sooner invite my enemies to dance upon my grave than dance to this myself. And it's through*...for the record. I'm beginning to regret this new feature already...

I honestly don't know why I get sent this stuff...I'm not against rap and however many hip-hop subcultures there actually are, but it is SO rare I find any that I genuinely like. I can appreciate a flow, or a beat, sure, but there is too much recycled rap out there full of cliches about money, bitches, drugs and ho's and quite frankly I don't care about any of it.

"Twerk It Out" is the new track from Cleveland Ohio based hio-hop veteran DEEJAY CENTIPEDE, who has been spinning records since the 80's, and it features Sonny Vajra and Tee Hova...which...means absolutely nothing to me. It's got a certain 90's vibe going on which I guess you could describe as "fresh", with some soft synths poorly underlying some genuinely irritating clapping percussion. A lot of autotune going on in the vocals, and I can't lie, outside of this blog, I wouldn't listen to this...I'd rather be in the middle of a Human Centipede truth be told, but that's just me. As of now I'm outlawing Twerking on GTGC. 

Austrian psychedelic rock trio MOTHER'S CAKE (Consisting of lead vocalist/guitarist Yves Krismer, bassist Benedikt Trenkwalder and drummer/backing vocalist Jan Haussels) are set to release their new album sometime in the Autumn of 2020, and tease interesting things to come with their latest single "Toxic Brother".

The onslaught of fuzzy guitars and echoed vocals, delivered among a frenetic, up-tempo barrage of stoner sludge-punk is as fun as it is exciting; the energy is real here and it'll easily appeal to fans of say, EXIT_INTERNATIONAL. The gradual fade-out of the track counters the increasing levels of insanity as you can hear the mental breakdown as it happens...this is a solid track.

Returning to the UK now and more specifically; Hull, and we have a four-piece hardcore punk outfit by the name of SMILING ASSASSIN. Consisting of vocalist George Garnett, drummer Robbie Johnson, guitarist Josh Rogerson and bassist Casey Stead, they were forwarded to me by the wonderful folk over at Rage PR.

The new socio-political single "National Pride" is taken off the forthcoming album "Plight Of The Millennial" which is penciled for release on May 31st, and it combines all the vitriolic aggression of hardcore punk with the instrumental impatience of trash metal, easily taking influence from the likes of THE EXPLOITED or MUNICIPAL WASTE. It's an intense listen and suggests that the new album is going to be an absolute scorcher.

Now I'll start off by saying this...on initial listen, it's not as annoying as "Despacito"...but I'm not ruling it out overtime. It's another one of this Latino-inspired R'n'B/rap offerings that's meant to sound all smooth and sexy in the club, but I'd rather just sit in the corner with a warm bottle of Bacardi squeezing fresh lime directly into my eyeballs. 

L.D.N's contribution is fine and his rapping isn't bad, probably the most enjoyable aspect of this track in all fairness, but that doesn't really say much. Also, Mi Carino means My Sweety...creepy much. Your Nan singing this is she mate? Bomboclaat don't say shit like sweety fam ya get me? Real talk blud. I just lost the plot, literally watched it run off...

We round off this selection of tracks by coming full circle back to London, to find CALLING ALL ASTRONAUTS an their newest single "Welcome To The Black Bloc". The trio (Consisting of vocalist/programmer David B, guitarist JJ and bassist Paul "Buzzsaw McCrudden) mix elements of punk rock attitude and an electronic, almost light industrial tone for their sound, bridging the likes of PITCHSHIFTER, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE and MINISTRY for a no-nonsense blast of socio-political neo-dystopian noise.

The single is officially released on May 29th, with the new album, entitled "#Resist" dropping shortly after on June 5th, via Supersonic Media which I'm sure is going to an incredibly charged listen.

For a blog with a name like GavTheGothicChav…you’d think I had my finger firmly on the pulse when it comes to Goth rock, but truth be told, I continue to miss a lot of what’s going on in underground Gothic circles. Some of my favourite new bands, like HER DESPAIR and THE WRAITH have fallen into my lap courtesy of other publications I’ve contributed to (Shout out to Astral Noize), but other than that, I’m more Chav than Goth these days, and that’s upsetting. Luckily I got a friend request on the old Facebook recently by a gentleman by the name of Alex, who thought that my blog would be a great place for his band; THE BLACK CAPES. Firstly, thank you for getting in touch Alex…and secondly, his band abso-fucking-lutely belong on this blog! Follow me! (Makes mysterious whooshing gesture with my cape and runs into the shadows)

Hailing from Athens, Greece, The Black Capes (Consisting of vocalist Alex S Wamp, guitarist Thanos Jan, bassist Dorian Gates and drummer Christos Grekas) originally formed in 2016 yet despite their relatively short existence thus far they’ve achieved a fair bit! Their debut album “All These Monsters” was produced by the people behind PARKWAY DRIVE and FALLING IN REVERSE…and they’ve done some solid European touring; establishing themselves in strong alternative markets such as Germany. Now in 2020 they aim to push things further with their sophomore album “Lullabies For The Dead”, due out April 10th via Dark Tunes Records. Let’s check it out…

We open up with the promotional track “And I Wait” but we don’t have to wait long AT ALL to hear some wonderfully hard rocking, bass-driven riffs. We surge right into it here to be fair and the up-beat barrage of guitar is the perfect counter for Alex’s deep vocal drawl, which is a classic trope for such Goth rock, but that’s not detrimental. The gruffness to the vocals likens The Black Capes to fellow Greek Goths SADDOLLS in ways, allowing for a rough around the edges sense of character, while maintaining all of the hooks (Including that smooth guitar solo) and this is a good start. This is emphasised on album highlight “Rain” which amps up the melody wonderfully. The deep emotive baritone takes on more of a croon, which allows for a sound more akin to THE 69 EYES when they first started dabbling in the dark arts, think “Wasting The Dawn” era…but the track picks up towards the end for a feisty little crescendo and it’s a great track this.

Influences don’t stop there either, as proven on tracks such as “The Blood Is The Life”, which incorporates an almost middle-eastern sense of string instrumentation, something the likes of TIAMAT have dabbled in in the past, while “From Beyond The Grave” tips the hat to bands such as A PALE HORSE NAMED DEATH with its slow, deep, methodical chugging riff work, before “Gotham” delivers a tighter guitar sound, channelling the likes of PARADISE LOST to great effect towards the tracks climax. The haunting background moans providing a sense of atmosphere too, so too with the piano and synths on “The Gun Of Love”, allowing for a chilling listen. We eventually finish up on “War Is Where You Make It” and if anything it’s sadly the weakest track on the album…the incredibly lethargic doom-inspired chugging of the riffs coupled with the deeper, depressed tone of Alex’s gravelled vocals resembles proto-Goth outfits such as FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM, and while that’s not at all a bad thing, it brings the mood down entirely after such a solid, bold sounding album.

As oxymoronic as that last statement sounds for a Gothic rock album however, “Lullabies For The Dead” is a superb collection of grandiose Goth that spans multiple eras, allowing for multiple influences to shape a noticeable variety in styles within just ten tracks. And to think, they said not all heroes wear capes? Looks like Batman has some competition…[8]

Ah yes; Money Inc...For those of you who don’t know, they are one of the most iconic heel tag teams in professional wrestling from the early 90’s. Consisting of “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and “IRS” Irwin R. Schyster, they won the then WWF tag team championships three times over the period of 1992 to 1993, having beaten the likes of the Legion Of Doom and the Natural Disasters, before eventually disbanding, as wrestling continued to adapt and evolve into a new era trough the mid-nineties. Wait a minute…something’s not quite right here…*checks notes*… for fuck sake Gav (-_-) let’s start again shall we?

MONO INC. for those of you who don’t know, are an alt. rock  / Goth band formed in Germany in 2000 and over the past twenty years have racked up an impressive number of albums and EP’s. The four piece (Currently consisting of vocalist Martin Engler, drummer Katha Mia, guitarist Carl Fornia and bassist Manuel Antoni) have enjoyed a fair bit of homeland success as their previous five albums have all reached the Top 10 in the official German charts, and they hope to continue their run of good form with their brand new album “The Book Of Fire”. Let’s see how quickly we can read this before it’s little more than a smoldering pile of ash…and it better have pictures…

We open up with the seven-minute-plus title track and after a brief piano intro; we practically set sail for high adventure…honestly for a split second I thought I was aboard the Black Pearl swigging rum with Captain Jack Sparrow. This is some piratey shit! The song itself, while a little drawn out in places is up-tempo and incredibly up-beat, it combines that ideology of exploring the seven seas with folk inspired qualities and a rock-based core sound, which while fun and not unpleasant, IS unexpected.  Goths and pirates don’t mix like…do I bury the treasure at the graveyard or scare all the children at the beach? I digress. Follow up track “Louder Than Hell” is the first real album highlight and takes a more traditional musical approach without as much of a gimmick. Rich in melodic guitar and a simple yet commanding rhythmic percussion, it’s got a solid groove amidst subtle power metal qualities and a great hard rock solo, resulting in another entertaining, up-tempo offering.

Lead single then “Warriors” takes a disappointing down-turn in momentum sadly, as we get a slow, sombre orchestral rock ballad with dreary, near monotonous vocals (Chorus aside)…while instrumentally charming in places, it doesn’t do the album too much justice in all honesty. Highlights do however include “Shining Light” which features LACRIMOSA vocalist Tilo Wolff…and it’s a shiny black slab of gothic tinged alt. rock, combining a deeper vocal and harmonic, choir-esque background singing. This is continued with “The Last Crusade” which really ups the ante with it’s incredibly SISTERS OF MERCY inspired intro and slick presentation. This track is infectious as all hell, from the vocal hooks in the chorus to the borderline sexual guitar solo, the book of fire is scorching here. Elsewhere “Right For The Devil”, which features German medieval metal outfit TANZWUT continues a similar standard of simple yet catchy alternative rock…slower in pace maybe but it’s a got a great bass-line and with that comes a certain swagger which is impossible to dislike.

The rest of the album trudges along fairly well without any real complaints, resulting in a solid overall listen, as portions of it will appeal to quite a broad spectrum of alternative music fans. Granted it’s not the all-out Goth-rock record I was expecting, seeing as THE 69 EYES were mentioned in the 'FFO' section of the press-kit, but I can admit I’m not disappointed. “The Book Of Fire” is itself only the latest chapter in Mono Inc.’s storied career to date, and it’s safe to say that these flames aren’t dying anytime soon. A record worth checking out this. [7]

2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5

It’s a new day! Yes it is! Ok, alright, before I get issued with a cease and desist by WWE…no, Kofi Kingston isn’t about to come out with his New Day team-mates to bitch slap you with a tray of pancakes, but it does provide me with an ample segue into this next review; let’s talk about  FOREVER VENDETTA.

Kofi Kingston emerged as a bright up and coming talent in WWE through the mid to late 00’s, and though while a solid worker, he never truly reached the heady heights of being WWE Champion and never attained main event level status…that was until 2019 when he was finally given a well-deserved push and a fantastic WrestleMania ‘Moment’ on April 7th.

Forever Vendetta have (Albeit on a smaller scale) mirrored that to a degree. From as far back as 2008 you may have seen them share the stage with the likes of HARDCORE SUPERSTAR and LA GUNS, though while promising upstarts, the Swansea based quartet (Now consisting of guitarist Leigh Fuge, bassist Liam Alonzi, vocalist/guitarist Chris Tippett and drummer Gareth Hunt) always remained in that lower to mid-card status in the South Wales music scene. Recently however the Welsh rockers have returned after a brief hiatus with their long-awaited debut album “New Day Rising”…and all of a sudden my analogy makes sense. Will this give Forever Vendetta the push they need to hit the big time? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “Unbreakable” and what we have is essentially a drawn out introductory piece. Purely instrumental; it flows through your speakers with a subtle mixture of emotions, blending a sense of sadness and, almost apathy…however that’s juxtaposed with a reassuring feeling of hope and defiance in the face of struggle. In just two minutes of soulful guitar playing they’ve already managed to convey a message of redemption; they’re back and shits about to go down. It’s wonderfully structured this, a strong start.

First track proper then, “Come Alive” immediately transitions into a deep, bass-heavy rumbling, before the band kick into gear with their blend of hard southern-inspired blues rock. The chorus carries with it a decent melody and the influence of bands such as BLACK STONE CHERRY is fairly clear here. The riffs are solid and the solo is both slick and impassioned…credit to them they’ve absolutely nailed the sound in regards to this genre. “Takin’ It Back” initially gives of a subtle nod to the likes of VELVET REVOLVER before falling into a similar song structure, though the solo is, again, enjoyable and the track overall is a touch grittier.

Elsewhere the likes of “Snake Oil Saviour” and “Not Your Hero” provide more of the same, enjoyable blues-based hard rock, with the band primarily sticking to their formula and knowing their strengths in delivering riff after riff, with well executed guitar play…but here we have to sadly point out the albums only real flaw; the vocals. Chris is clearly passionate about his craft, there’s no denying that and credit to him he’s giving this 110%, but there are too many occasions throughout this record where despite his efforts, he comes across as simply not capable of delivering the notes he’s aiming for. On “Easy Way Out” for example, his voice really isn’t powerful enough to stamp authority on the tracks chorus, as he comes across as strained, almost forced and it sadly sounds off…there’s something that just doesn’t click and it makes you wince truthfully. “Roll It On Back” gives off the impression it’s more of a demo with raw vocal recording, while “Don’t” comes across as a scrapped BON JOVI B-Side track.

Overall, instrumentally this album is undeniably superb, and kudos to the guys for their efforts here; this is some top-notch blues rock ‘n’ roll…it’s just a shame vocally things aren’t quite on par. They haven’t quite emulated Kofi Kingston's trajectory  just yet, but there’s a lot of potential for them to do so. It’s a new day, yes it is…but it’s more of a Monday morning than a Saturday morning if you catch my drift. [6]

Now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales about us Welsh…stories about non-licet liaisons with animals of a woollen nature (For the record, Velcro gloves work wonders, though you didn’t hear that from me) but it’s not ALL about sheep shagging, let me tell you! Yes aside from our preferred bestial pastimes we do occasionally dabble in a spot of rock ‘n’ roll and as I’ve stated before, South Wales is a hotbed of up-and-coming bands and musicians. Now while a lot of attention is heaped on the Cardiff area because of its bustling live venues, we can’t forget about the rest of Wales, and today we’re taking a little trip up the valleys to a town called Aberdare for our next band; HEAVY FLAMES.

Comprising of vocalist David Hill, guitarists Lee Harvey and Ryan Lewis, bassist Gareth Owen and drummer Richard Boggis, the outfit are all about the old-school; opting to ignore what’s happening in the world of modern music, to play in their preferred style of classic blues-inspired rock ‘n’ roll…and they’ve showcased this on their debut full length album; “Bolt On The Rust”. The question is does this pile of rust belong on the scrapheap?

The album opens up with “Clearly Not A Welcome Rain” and it utilises the gradual build really quite well…we’re subject to a simplistic looped guitar sequence, blending in to some subtle percussion, as David wraps his vocals around proceedings before the track eventually erupts into a barrage of harmonica-fuelled rock. It’s bold as it is brash instrumentally, the southern blues tones giving this track some real swagger when it gets going and it’s an enjoyable start this.

The rock ‘n’ roll keeps on coming through album highlights such as “Nature Of The Beast” too…another initially low-key start but it quickly comes to life with some rich organ-eqsue synths akin to the likes of THE DOORS or even DEEP PURPLE in places; really embracing that early hard rock transitional period…not quite metal yet but the exploration into the weight and delivery of the instrumentation is all there. “Acre Of Graves” hammers this home brilliantly with its meatier riffs and almost polyrhythmic percussion, allowing for subtle prog aesthetics. The tone of the track here is a touch darker, incorporating more of a BLACK SABBATH vibe while still retaining their aforementioned synth-driven core sound and it’s a solid track.

There are a couple of lesser moments scattered around the album though, “Insult To The Brain” is more of an insult to my eardrums in all honesty, mainly because of that fucking guitar loop that makes your eye twitch. ‘Duh-duh-duh-duuuuuuh-duh’ it goes over, and over, and over, and over, and over…the chorus provides a brief respite, but it comes back and the repetition of this specific chord sequence just drives you mad. Maybe it’s just me but this makes me want to cause physical harm to the brain of whoever decided to record this particular track, not just insult it. “House Full Of Women” suffers from a similar problem although the riff here is quirkier and the track is generally grittier overall, salvaging it somewhat.

Generally speaking though those are minor irritants more than anything and don’t really take away from the album as a whole…the recording quality and sound that they’ve gone for clearly harks back to those classic days in the 70’s with the bluegrass-inspired tones, with the band managing to retain that certain rawness in their production. Younger fans of rock and metal may view this as old-fashioned or, maybe even uncool, but if you appreciate the nostalgia of those formative years in rock ‘n’ roll’s evolution then you’ll likely appreciate this a lot more. Not quite niche per se, but it certainly has more of a target audience in mind. [5]

Gothic music has for the most part; got a bit of stigma or, a reputation from the non-initiated…many simply view it as maybe just a tad miserable or, maybe even slightly suicidal, and to be fair these CAN be traits of the genre. There are of course those however more acquainted to this, misunderstood style and its nuances, that find the beauty amidst the often bleak poetic content, but most people simply think “Fuck me this is depressing!”… Today’s band doesn’t particularly help things in that sense…let’s talk about LACRIMAS PROFUNDERE.

The German outfit (Now consisting of vocalist Julian Larre, guitarist Oliver Nikolas Schmid and drummer Dominik Scholz) have a name that translated from Latin, literally means ‘To Shed Tears’…so we’re practically crying before we even press play, fucking amazing start! I digress…while the bands origins in the early 90’s harboured more of a progressive doom aesthetic, they over time switched up their sound to the more iconic Gothic / dark rock style we know and love today, but that doesn’t mean we’re alleviated from the doom and gloom…au contraire, there’s just marginally less doom! 2019 finds the band releasing their 12th studio album; “Bleeding The Stars”…so, Kleenex at the ready then folks; but will we be shedding happy tears in the end? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “I Knew And Will Forever Know” and in all honesty it’s a pretty slow, lumbering start. The initial guitars seem to drag alongside Larre’s vocal drawl as if they’ve already given up the ghost so to speak, such is the level of sonic misery. We do get a little more lively for the chorus mind you, as the percussion picks up, accompanying heavier, more tortured vocals; really walking a fine line between their doom-metal back ground and a more melodic, melancholy. This is for the most part a reoccurring theme throughout this ten-track album…”Mother Of Doom” being a prime example (The clue is in the name to be honest). Although to be fair, as dreary as it is superficially, it’s the deep baritone croon of Larre that allows this track to connect with the listener. It’s low-key, low tempo and generally minimalistic but it’s the mood and atmosphere that carries this…it’s actually incredibly well delivered and while it isn’t about to kick start any parties, it has to be applauded.

While a lot of this album is a touch bleak, there are some enjoyable highlights that twinkle in the darkness; flashes of brilliance from this dying star if you will. “After All Those Infinities” for example really ramps up the tempo and for its brief run time it manages to deliver a boisterous, albeit brief melodic hard rock number; the kind of track that leaves you wanting more. “Father Of Fate”, unlike the preceding mother, is far more upbeat…perhaps he’s won some brutal custody battle? Who knows? Regardless, its hook-laden synth-driven style, coupled with the well balanced dual vocal approach of deep crooning and pissed-off snarling, makes for an entertaining listen. The real stand-out however comes in the form of “Celestite Woman”…the simplicity of the chugging bass, the lyricism and overall song structure coupled with the abundance of melody; this easily lives up to previous gems such as “The Shadow I Once Kissed” and “My Velvet Little Darkness” as an individual highlight, and it’s Lacrimas at their brilliantly bleakest best. This album though as a whole may not live up to some previous standards, 2004 to 2010 was a superb timeline in all honesty, but this is a solid Gothic rock album that hits most of the right filthy notes, in spite of how low they are. [7]

So what’s YOUR favourite type of knot? Is it a Half Hitch? Perhaps a Bowline or a Sheet Bend? Of course not, we all know its SLIPKNOT, and with bloody good reason! The Iowan nonet started life in the mid-to-late 90’s and from day one they practically turned the world on its head, over time becoming arguably the biggest modern metal band on the planet. Between the mystery of their masked persona’s and the brutality of their early crossover genre-mashing, it didn’t take them long to get noticed, and they helped revolutionise alternative music as we know it. Sure, there have been trials and tribulations along the way, but the band have always bounced back stronger than ever…proven emphatically on their last album; 2014’s “.5: The Gray Chapter”.

Following the death of bassist Paul Gray, the band found themselves in purgatory, and the resulting album was both the closure of one chapter of Slipknot, a nod to Paul and an appreciation of everything preceding it, but also the beginning of a new era; a rebirth, and all signs pointed towards a brutal, unrelenting future. What exactly did that future have in store? Well aside from keeping things ticking over with festival appearances and a live album, the band did initially return in 2018 with a rare stand-alone single “All Out Life”, reminding fans that they were still very much active creatively, with the track itself acting as a rallying cry, encouraging everyone to live in the now and not dwell on the past. This only got fans excited for what was to come…and what came was this; “We Are Not Your Kind”. What direction were Slipknot heading in in this new chapter of their storied career? I challenge you to all-out fucking listen with me…

We open up with “Insert Coin” and we’re greeted with a strangely ominous intro-track fuelled by semi-retro arcade style synths that meander gently, as the instrumentation washes over you with a calming motion. It’s as though we’re on the title screen here getting ready to press play and dive into this brand new game as Corey says in a chilling manner “I’m counting all the killers..” and it’s an interesting start. First track proper then “Unsainted” gets the album underway properly and what an opener…from the initially haunting children’s choir it gradually builds in atmosphere and intensity until it explodes into a frenzy of blistering vocals with pummelling riffs and percussion. It carries on from the previous album in terms of delivery; blending visceral verses with a clean, hook-rich chorus. It’s a powerful track.

From here on in however, the album gets VERY interesting…recent single “Birth Of The Cruel” slows things down with a more methodical riff and plenty of tinny percussion. Vocally clean for the most part until Corey lets rip during the chorus segments, countered by Sid Wilson’s trademark scratching harking back to the bands earlier days. “Death Because Of Death” is our first interlude and takes on an almost hypnotic tribal tone; simple and repetitive before transitioning  straight into “Nero Forte”, instantly waking up the listener with more classic Slipknot riffs and up-tempo lyricism, again bridging the gap between the now and the bands early years. Another album highlight, “Critical Darling”, continues on with the “…Gray Chapter” aesthetic with plenty of key-changes, vocal switch-up techniques and allows for a variety of sensations, fluctuating effortlessly between harsh and harmonious.

​This fluctuation is a reoccurring theme throughout the whole album in all honesty; it zigs where you think it’ll zag and vice versa…”Red Flag” is a traditionally blistering onslaught, fuelled by a frantic pacing and old-school aesthetic, again harking back to the Knot’s earlier days, while interlude “What’s Next” comes across as actual elevator music! Like, seriously lads what the fuck is next? Where else can you take this? “Spiders” houses an almost Halloween-esque piano lead allowing for a generally creepier vibe, bordering on polyrhythmic in places; it’s got a subtle prog delivery, before we eventually end on promotional single “Solway Firth”. Coming full circle from the intro, we count all the killers over a typically bombastic masked-metal approach that bridges gaps between modern era and the “…Subliminal Verses” days.

Ultimately what can be said about the Iowan’ nine in 2019? Their groove-heavy, pulverising metal is still there in abundance and coupled with their nu-metal origins, thrash sensibilities and Corey’s ability to deliver a mainstream alternative anthem, Slipknot are as Slipknot as ever here but MORE. There are no real definitive hits like “Dead Memories” or “Snuff” to appeal to the wider audience…fuck no; if anything they’ve gone the opposite direction. Sure there are some great hooks throughout this record, but the presentation here showcases so much experimentation and a lack of fucks given this is arguably Slipknot’s most prog-metal album to date. It doesn’t settle for a style, not even Slipknot’s own, and that’s where it deserves praise. We all know Slipknot can and will deliver, it’s practically a given these days, but they still opted to tear up their own rule-book and go crazy. “We Are Not Your Kind” is a metaphorical middle finger to not only the fans that just want Iowa 2.0, but also metal in general. It might be more experimental to what you are used to from the Clown and co…but fuck me this is a Slipknot album and a half. Insert another coin mate, I want another go at this…[7]

People sometimes wonder what the difference is between irony and coincidence…well if you were run over in the street, and an ambulance just happened to be passing by, that would be a wonderful coincidence. Irony on the other hand, would be getting run over by the ambulance itself and, so long as nobody dies, is much funnier. Today’s review falls under the coincidental category for me personally…let me explain.

Back at the start of the month, I took a mini vacation down to the South English coast at Torquay for a couple of days, where, to be honest, I spent 80% of my time enjoying the sun and drinking. On the way there however I made a little stop at some place called Burnham-On-Sea…never heard of it before, but all I can tell you is that it was quiet…windy as all hell and the tide had gone out for what seemed like MILES. I honestly thought Godzilla had mistaken the place for Hawaii and was about to stroll up the beach causing another tsunami it had gone that far out. Anyway my time there was fleeting and I thought nothing else of it. Today however, I decided to take a dip into my email submissions and low and behold, the first EPK I click on happens to be from a band from Burnham On-Sea! Let me introduce you to SOME VILLAINS.

The four-piece (Consisting of vocalist/guitarist Edward Graves, guitarist Luke Tozer, drummer Stu Donavan and bassist Jake Beckett) have been on the scene since their 2014 single “Loose Generation”, and with their love of everything between classic rock ‘n’ roll, indie and prog, they’ve established themselves as a group of interesting and intelligent musicians. Their 2016 EP “Lizard Teeth” highlighted their admiration of experimental prog-rock and shoegaze, with predominantly longer tracks and the influence of RADIOHEAD and SMASHING PUMPKINS shining through…but here now in 2019, they’ve stripped things back a little and focused more on a grittier rock ‘n’ roll sound for their latest EP “Outliers”. The lads asked me to check it out, and seeing as I visited their home town it would be rude not to sample some of their wares!

The EP opens up with “Masters Sun” and it really doesn’t take long at all to get into the meat and potatoes of this record…we start off with some simple alternating chords, before the track lets rip with some ballsy, hard-rock riffage. The bass is deep and rumbling almost to the point where it’s sludge inspired, but we’ve got a rich groove, and vocally here Graves’ is rather hushed and subdued. Their love for QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE shines through here given the stoner / desert rock tones, coupled with an energetic up-tempo chorus; this is simply a great rock track. EP highlight “Burn Me Down” follows up and we’re initially met some almost WOLFMOTHER-esque instrumentation; combining classic rock and indie tones…the guitar is slick and frankly gallops along excitedly. The prog influences filter through vocally as Graves’ sings in an almost polyrhythmic manner, but it’s the convivial guitar tone that makes this track; it’s just fun.

“The Skin” again maintains an up-tempo vibe albeit somewhat darker in tone, bordering on atmospheric, with more hushed vocals, slightly raspy sounding in places reminding of JULY TALK to some degree, but we’re treated to a strong solo that certainly stands out as the tracks major talking point, before closing effort “Ghosts In The Field” incorporates a more shoegaze aesthetic alongside some again, darkly tinged indie rock…the type of sound that would appeal to fans of INTERPOL and the like. All in all though, there’s nothing truly negative to say about this EP whatsoever quite frankly. While the band are clearly better when they let their hair down and get gritty when it comes to the rock ‘n’ roll, the mellower tones do naturally compliment Graves’ vocal approach. There’s no  bells and whistles here, they’re a band and they keep it simple…having stripped back to a more classic rocking approach, and by cutting the track length from their previous EP ever so slightly, they come across as more polished and clinical in terms of their presentation. Not knocking the more prog-based sound of their previous work, but this does sound like an improvement. Some Villains by name but to fair lads you’re not sounding half bad at all. [8]