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Junksista - "Oxytocin High" EP

24/5/2022

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If you cast your mind back to February, you may remember I reviewed an EP by the name of “Fuck Your Pretty Face”, by German, alternative techno-pop duo JUNKSISTA. For the record I didn’t, nor haven’t; I can’t reach, but, that’s beside the point. Anyway, as stated in the review, there is history between both parties, as the rapport has always been tongue-in-cheek but, respectful. Whether vocalist Diana sends me new material with a sly smile; seeing if I’ll bite and accept the challenge, or, whether it’s me laughing at a ridiculous lyric or song title; it’s wholesome ribbing.  

While the EP in question had some meaning, within its own narrative at least, primarily the title track, plus a decent surprise courtesy of a random KISS cover, the EP lacked in the overall absurdity that I had familiarised myself with. This brings us to the here and now, and, merely three months later, the duo have returned with yet another brand-new EP entitled “Oxytocin High”. If previous releases are anything to go by, I could do with some drugs to get through this! With that being said, let’s dust off the old walk-man, pop in that cassette tape and hope we remember how to fucking work the damn thing... 

We kick things off with the title track, and it’s time to do a little googling; what actually IS oxytocin? Are we about to get off our tits on some, brain-melting, kaleidoscopic hallucinogens? I should be so lucky. It’s actually a hormone produced in the hypothalamus, and known as the “love hormone”, it helps facilitate childbirth and aftercare. It plays a vital role in emotional bonding and, feeling a connection between people...allegedly. I think my brain is out of stock in that department. I digress, the track gets underway with some pulsing electronic notes, and some hushed, autotuned vocals, as Diana asks “Why can’t you be fucking happy?” ...and it’s a good question.  

It’s a song about contentment; the idea of chasing a love, or, a bond you may never find; not satisfied, the grass being forever greener on every other side, and needing to realise the quick thrill of that, one moment of passion, lust and wanting, isn’t going to make you happy in the long run. You’ll forever be chasing your next fix, romantically and emotionally, eventually failing to feel satisfaction, and it wonderfully uses our desire for love, comfort, and togetherness as a flaw. It’s a deep song, but it’s balanced by an incredibly light, bubbly, retro synth-pop aesthetic that’s been plucked straight out of the 80’s with a modern dance vibe, and it works. 

We follow this up with EP highlight “Aerobic” and while it tonally could easily match ERIC PRYDZ for dirty dance anthem sensuality, I went into this thinking exclusively of Douglas Reynholm conducting secretive sexy dance classes. All of the short-shorts and hip-thrusting going on with this one, getting a proper sweat on by here! The track itself is a lively, pulsing piece of electronica, with up-beat pop vibes aplenty and some clap-along percussion; it’s the kind of track you’d imagine the lad's sniffing ketamine to in Kooler’s in Merthyr Tydfil. I like this. 

Next up, we get “Whore On The Floor” and... it’s a little disappointing. On face value, you’d think KIM PETRAS has highjacked the track to continue her slut-pop revolution; dancing her knickers off, bleating her way around the club like the very throat goat she claims she is, but really, it’s a slow, anti-climactic track. The whore might be on the floor, but, she’s out for the count, and you just want to call her a taxi home. Poor girl’s been on her knees all day give her a rest! Other than some minimalist catchy synths, this is incredibly tame by comparison to the aforementioned and I hereby challenge Diana to lyrically out-slut Kim Petras. Maybe even a collaboration? Who knows? Fuck, that’s who...fuck knows.  

Last time around we highlighted their KISS cover; "I Was Made For Loving You", which genuinely suited them aesthetically, but here we have another cover to potentially appeal to a wider audience, and it comes in the form of SALT-N-PEPPA classic “Push It”. While it retains a lot of the tracks original 80’s quirkiness, it does come across as more of a medley or, a mash up, with original lyrics and snippets of THE KINKS thrown in for good measure, and to be perfectly honest, it’s better. It’s more of a substantial version, with less filler and it’s not like it’s been musically drawn-out needlessly. Credit where it’s due, they’ve got a knack for picking covers than work for them. The final track then is just a remix of the title track and it’s your typical, generic dance-inspired remix; nothing spectacular whatsoever and nothing worth mulling over. 

Overall, it appears that, while there are still subtle nods to some of that aforementioned absurdity, Junksista are slowly but surely taking their ass off the whoopee cushion. Believe me when I say this; the band are maturing, but I don’t mean it in a patronising way, there is a genuine, evolution in the duo’s lyricism, and while they still have their little digs here and there, they aren’t over the top. Going forward, they are even more so now, situated to be at the forefront of a fresh generation of alternative synth-wave, and could easily keep the genre alive and kicking.  

Previous efforts may not have contributed to the release of much oxytocin, I’ll level with you, but steadily, you can be a junkie for Junksista and not feel ashamed. Controlled doses, I guess? Perfect? No. Diana’s vocal delivery, with her spoken word, hushed tones, ARE niche, but they are delivering catchy tracks that will get them increasingly picked up at alt. Club nights across Europe, and I do believe there are bigger and better things to come. In the meantime, the club is now closed, and there is still a whore on the floor...I have hoovering to do...is she dead? [6]
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JUNKSISTA
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Kim Petras - "Slut Pop" EP

17/4/2022

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Now...I’m no prude (You should see my search history), BUT... Jesus Christ there is a time and a place for everything. I mean, you’d like to think so, but, where the fuck do I begin with this one? You’ll probably remember previous reviews on say, STEEL PANTHER, where the sexual innuendo and, cheeky lyricism started overshadowing what WAS originally meant to be like, a sort of parody homage to sleazy glam metal. What ended up happening was, they started becoming a bit reliant of the gimmick, the material became less funny and, the joke well and truly ran its course. THIS on the other hand, is like, Only Fans: The Official Soundtrack...this is “Slut Pop” by KIM PETRAS...and this is going to be painful... 

First off, who actually IS Kim Petras? Born in Cologne, Germany in 1992, Kim actually made headlines before she even became a recording artist, by being the youngest person in the world to undergo gender transition and sex reassignment surgery, aged just 16 in 2009. She’s since taken up music and already has a handful of records under her belt, viral single releases and notable growth including collaborations with CHARLI XCX and SOPHIE. Whatever your thoughts on her are, Kim clearly isn’t afraid to shy away from controversy, and that is beyond evident on this new EP here. With that being said, let’s slide into this EP’s DM’s and get to know it more intimately... 

We open up with the title-track and musically, first impressions we’re heading into some, DAFT PUNK inspired, electro-funk. It’s got basic percussion and a sort of, retro aesthetic with its bassy synths and it’s quite minimalistic. Lyrically however this track, and EP as a whole to be honest, is in the gutter. Lots of getting your dicks and tits out, Dad fucking, ass slapping...I mean, you do you but, Spotify is the last place I’d be looking for that sort of content. Moving on we have “Treat Me Like A Slut” and, well, if you insist...it transitions straight in to be fair with only minor tweaks to the keys and notes, while keeping in original tempo. Imagine like, going from missionary, to missionary with her legs over your shoulders. It’s the same, but different. There are elements of BRITNEY SPEARS’ influence here in some of the vocal delivery but for the most part she’s quite monotone. 

Keeping in with sudden transitions we have “XXX” and really speaking, little changes again. The chorus piece is very uninspired and repetitive to be fair, and when she says “I’m horny!” in that almost, childlike high-pitched squeal, it’s like, never to God! Really?! We honestly had no idea by this point. Can’t be dealing with all of these subtle hints and mixed signals. You need to be a bit more upfront with your intentions Kim...I’m not a mind reader! “Superpower Bitch” then houses more of that Charli XCX influence in tone and attitude, but pray tell, what IS your super power? Can you fly? Are you immortal? Can your vagina complete a Rubik’s cube? That last bit is actually closer to the truth than I’d appreciate...her power is that she can “make you cum”. Even Deadpool cringed at that one. 

This isn’t the last track on the record, but we’re going to have to wrap things up here, as I simply can’t handle any more of this. We have a track called “Throat Goat” and if the title doesn’t give away the plot to you here, bless you my sweet innocent child. Actually, scrap that, if you’re reading this there is nothing innocent about you whatsoever...I digress. Yes, as you can imagine, this song sucks on multiple levels, mostly below the waistline, as, it’s the most unashamed song about blow jobs I think I’ll EVER hear. That’s all there is to say on that...I’ll leave you experience this one for yourselves via the audio below.  

Overall, this one has been a challenge. Having known nothing about Kim Petras upon discovering this EP, I couldn’t process this. I had to delve. In the past, she’s released genuinely decent pop songs such as “Icy” and “Personal Hell” from the album “Clarity”, just for example, so where has this come from? Her stand-alone single “Coconuts” about her tits was one thing, but this is quite possibly the single horniest, thirstiest, sluttiest record I’ve ever heard...so...she’s succeeded?  

I can appreciate how unashamedly open she is sexually, but we’re not here to really judge that, I need to judge this EP and sadly, despite all of the lyrical content, the EP falls flat with its repetitive formula and uninspired instrumentation. Take away the in-your-face sexualised content, the shock value if you will, musically and tonally, this is a disappointingly boring listen. This is background music for the strip-club at best. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to take a cold shower...to cleanse myself of my sins you filthy cretins! [1] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KIMPETRAS
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The Birthday Massacre - "Fascination"

31/1/2022

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Cast your mind back, if you will, to March 2020. This may only be a mere two years ago on paper, but Jesus does it feel like forever ago! It was around this time, that the Covid-19 / Coronavirus pandemic went into full gear and the world went into lockdown...a thing that frustratingly, we are STILL dealing with, and to many, it’s felt like someone’s hit the pause button on life.  

​Hopelessness aside, you may remember that around this time, Canadian dark-pop / synth-wave veterans THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE, had released their latest album “Diamonds”, and were excited to get back on that tour bus. Naturally, this didn’t go to plan, and despite the quality of the album itself, it almost felt like it couldn’t be properly celebrated, as many fans were now unable to enjoy these songs at live shows across North America and here in the UK.  

Fast forward to 2022 now, and having survived through ever changing and ever varying degrees of pandemic protocol, government teeter-tottering on their own frankly hypocritical regulations (I swear, it was NOT a party, it was an unexpectedly accidental, and somewhat coincidental gathering, of people who, just happened to be, very close friends and colleagues, who also, for some reason, all had alcoholic beverages and caviar Vol-Au-Vents), we find The Birthday Massacre back with another brand-new album; “Fascination”. Has the past two years of uncertainty and frustration fuelled this record creatively? Let’s find out... 

We open up with the title track, and the longest track of the album here, provides a certain sense of, dramatic grandiosity...in a good way. The almost angelic choir-esque vocal harmonies beautifully compliment the delicate, icy synths in the opening notes, and coupled with the deeper, yet sparse bass level electronic pulses, it’s musically a perfect combination. Add Chibi’s effortlessly innocent vocals to the mix, and you are instantly drawn into the album in an almost hypnotic manner.  

Following on directly from this we have the albums lead single “Dreams Of You” and we get some classic TBM. It’s simple, effective, electronic pop-rock and they continue to do it masterfully. It’s up-beat, bubbly and jovial and the band clearly still love what they do; it shines through tracks such as this one and it reminds us all just how polished and efficient the purple-clad Canadians are at churning out songs sweeter and stickier than maple syrup, and there’s plenty more where this came from... 

The track “Precious Hearts” channels a certain old-school TBM vibe that harnesses synths akin to their “Video Kid” era while utilising their ability to unleash more intense, crunching guitar parts. The riffs here aren’t technically challenging or even unique but they use the heaviness well and it just fits perfectly. The minimal solo part in ways can be likened to fellow electronic rock veterans ORGY, and this whole thing is top-drawer. However, it isn’t even the best track on the record. “Like Fear, Like Love” is quite simply, incredible. I’ve talked on how TBM make it look so easy to churn out absolute belters like this, and this is a prime example. The catchy hooks, 80’s inspired darkened synth-wave, the soft, yet bold, emotive vocals; this is textbook and prove why they are among, if not THE best at what they do. It’s impossible to not find yourself moving in some way shape or form to this track...even if you’re a corpse.  

Appropriately then we eventually close on “The End Of All Stories” and it’s effective as a slower, more lulling piece of electronic dreamscape. To which may I add, the band are equally effective in delivering. As sombre and frankly emotional as this track feels aesthetically, it still manages to round things up on a high note somewhat oxymoronically. While it’s fun to go out with a bang, to set the mood, and atmosphere with a perfect ballad is equally as effective, and here it gives the album a wonderful sense of closure.  

Whether or not this would have been the same album The Birthday Massacre gave us if we didn’t have a pandemic, creatively, we will never know, but we have to respect the fact that, bands and touring artists all around the world, have been affected these last two years. Despite losing out on highly important touring income; through ticket sales and merchandise, they’ve doubled down and produced yet another slab of gothic-tinged melodic electro-pop beauty, and it deserves your attention. Regardless of your actual date of birth, “Fascination” comes out via METROPOLIS RECORDS on February 18th, so treat yourself to a second birthday, buy this album and show Chibi and co some love. [8] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THEBIRTHDAYMASSACRE
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RuPaul - "Mamaru"

23/1/2022

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“Transvestites get...lumped into that weirdo grouping. There was a guy in the Bronx when I was in New York...he was living in a cave, like you do, and was coming out, shooting geese, a lot of weird things going on with him, and police found he had a collection of women's shoes. They said ‘He’s a transvestite’...but he’s a WEIRDO transvestite. I’m much more of an EXECUTIVE transvestite...” - EDDIE IZZARD, live from AL-CA-TRAAAAAAAZZZZ during “Dressed To Kill”, 1999. 

Going back well over twenty years, Eddie Izzard, as a highly regarded stand-up comedian, was at the forefront of pushing boundaries, with his eccentric and often provocative cross-dressing persona, but even so, back then, he was able to use that to laugh at both himself and the topic itself, as it was still a subject or, an idea reduced to cheap laughs, or frowned upon by certain non-liberals.  

Nowadays, in 2022, while the world still has its detractors, the idea of simply cross-dressing, is far, far more commonplace and accepted in a far more woke generation. While some people argue certain agendas, push their own sense of toxic masculinity, misunderstanding, prejudice and display close-minded tendencies, LGTBQ+ culture is flourishing, wherever you find yourself along the rainbow. If anything reinforces this, it’s the booming popularity of RUPAUL.  

The drag race phenomenon has grown, and grown, and grown Stateside, in that same time-frame. Bigger, brighter, bolder on mainstream streaming networks, and culturally in society...but what I DIDN’T know...was that RuPaul released music. The question is, am I afraid to absolutely slate this music, purely FOR the music that it is, knowing that certain people are going think that I’m criticizing the community, NOT the music? Am I fuck...this is “Mamaru”...pass the Jack Daniels... 

The album opens up with “Just What They Want”, and when I say this is arguably as good as this gets, don’t take that as a positive. This is in fact not what I want at all. I know RuPaul is a coloured 61-year-old gentleman, but I have to make that white-rapper analogy. EMINEM joked about white boys thinking they could rap, following his popularity (He earned that through legitimate eloquent skill may I add), but most of us sound clueless, off-beat, and cringeworthy with our rhymes and flows...this sound’s nearly as bad as your local council estate rap wannabe. Cool fam’ you wear Nike Air’s off of the back of a lorry and your mum shops at a food bank? Sit down you clown. Get the idea? There are subtle BRITNEY SPEARS nods to “Work Bitch” but this is SO early 90’s it’s unreal...the general dance-inspired R’n’B beats give this sleazy strip club vibes, or at BEST Kooler’s nights in Merthyr Tydfil. Wipe your feet on the way out like... 

We’ve got a collab then courtesy of SKELTAL KI on the track “Catwalk” and this is frankly less offensive to your sense of hearing. The whole thing has been slowed down in tone and tempo, allowing for a more sultry, semi-soulful piece of slow-jam R’n’B, while the autotune-rich rich vocals accompany the synth-heavy instrumentation, and it’s far, far smoother in production. There is a reprise of this track further down the playlist but, like an actual cat, my interest is long-gone by this point, got more important things to do like, nap, and judge everything around me.  

Speaking of judging things, we have the track “Smile”...and oh god...this is more grimace than anything else. Ironically the message here is one incredibly positive one, “Fix your face, fix your life you can start with a smile”...small steps to a more, happier, wholesome existence...clearly, they haven’t heard this song. The electronic pop is intertwined with hip-hop beats and the autotune by this point is sickly...it’s like, fucking SEGA produced the track truth be told...Chronic the Hedgehog if you will. This then, is something the album wrestles with over Its 10-track run time. 

The whole thing from a production standpoint, is boisterous, loud and brash. While there are genres that CAN get away with it, such as say, aggressive punk, for example, where it’s meant to be challenging, make you think, make you question...this is just an absolute clusterfuck. The layering and instrumentation is headache-inducing, and over the course of its half an hour run-time, despite whatever positive messages or, inspirational content Ru is channelling through this creative outlet, however much of an icon he is to a demographic, or target audience, musically, on make-up smothered face-value, this is messier than a bin-full of post catwalk wet-wipes. Forget drag Queen...this album was dragged through a hedge backwards. [2] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/RUPAUL
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The Weeknd - "Dawn FM"

16/1/2022

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I want to take a minute, if I may, to talk about catfishing. No, we’re not about to join Jeremy Wade on some, Kaiju-sized fishing adventure in the back rivers of deepest, darkest Asia; we’re talking about being deceived. By definition, catfishing is “the process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona”, and that’s exactly how I view today’s artist; THE WEEKND.  

The Canadian singer and producer (Real name Abel Makkonen Tesfaye) was on my radar in 2016 with “Starboy”, but it was the unavoidably catchy hit single “Blinding Lights” in 2020 that actually made me listen. And it’s here I feel cat-fished. The track was such an up-beat, synth-driven masterpiece of simple, energetic, modern pop, you couldn’t help but love it; I was on board. Such a hit surely suggested the album had SOME more of the same? “After Hours” was in fact, instead, nearly an hour of consistently disappointing boredom. Never mind blinding lights, I wanted to punch his lights out! 

2022 now finds The Weeknd kicking off the new year with his follow up album “Dawn FM”...and as we’re about to check it out, let it be known that my expectations are low. With that being said however, let me just caveat this. It could quite possibly be, that, I enjoyed one stand-alone track so much, that I’ve not given the artist a true chance; to know their actual style, background and influences...perhaps...anyway...let’s tune into “Dawn FM”. 

The album kicks off with the title track and low and behold, it’s an intro piece. There are some sweet, ambient keys, birds chirping and soft electronic notes over The Weeknd’s gentle, highly autotuned vocals, yet it’s quite deep in its fleeting run-time, speaking of the fear and uncertainty of solitude, but, also the understanding and awareness that, somethings are to be done alone. It’s the beginning of a new journey here, and whatever the conditions, we’re in for a ride. 

First track proper then, is the single “Gasoline” and musically, it’s quite a bubbly little piece of, shoegaze inspired synth-pop, with gentle percussion, and an overall sense of minimalism. It’s quirky in its own ways on face value, but it’s lyrically where the track becomes grittier. Here he openly refers to his own demons, and battles with substance abuse, and how he’s very aware of his own mortality. He’s really quite ok with the notion of, if he does manage to overdose and die in his sleep, so be it, but he does want to find faith in himself to not suffer such fate; he sounds...torn? 

He continues somewhat strongly then, as we get “How Do I Make You Love Me?”, which stylistically is similar. Instrumentally we get more of the retro synth-wave taking centre-stage while the percussion remains restrained, as he sings, almost vulnerably about slight insecurities. There’s an uncertainty over his own self-confidence, in ways continuing on from the previous track; he’s incredibly self-aware regarding, potential flaws, but at the same time, deep down knows he can bring out the best in you...a sort of, help me help you situation emotionally, and mentally. This transitions very smoothly then into “Take My Breath” which is again, musically in the same vein. My only issue here is, the track is unnecessarily drawn out, and those drawn-out bits, musically, give me PTSD, as they very much remind me of a certain remix by one COREY FELDMAN for his track “Ascension Millennium” …and we’re not going THERE again... 

For the most part then, the remainder of the album, at sixteen tracks in total, is quite consistent in its tone and delivery, and it sadly, as a listening experience becomes a little flat. The vocal delivery is smooth and harmonious, as he does have a very clean, soulful style, and he sings well, and lyrically, he’s a very honest storyteller in his song writing, but at face value, nothing truly leaps out at you from this album.  There are some brief appearances from TYLER, THE CREATOR and LIL’ WAYNE that add a hint of diversity in the vocal presentation, but overall, this is a very subtle album about reflection, and the journey has been quite the personal one. Some enjoyable moments, but truthfully, “Dawn FM” isn’t worth getting up early for. [4] 
WWW.THEWEEKND.COM
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Kat Von D - "Love Made Me Do It"

26/12/2021

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I’d like to, if I may, to take a short minute, to talk about KAT VON D. Now, a lot of you are probably going to be aware, that she is primarily famous for her position on the acclaimed reality show "LA Ink", where she cemented herself as a world-renowned tattoo artist and colourful personality (Despite her ironic preference for black & white portrait ink). This position led her into a world of glitz and glamour with her celebrity clientele, and over the number of seasons she co-starred in the show, her name grew and grew.  

With her high-profile connections and her name in the spotlight, over the years she expanded her business and brand portfolio from not only tattoo and body art, but into a prolific make-up career, where she championed vegan make-up, being a devout animal lover (No animal testing for those confused, no bunnies in slutty lipstick), to yes...even singing.  

Now...don’t get me wrong; just because you are admittedly very talented at one thing, and have been able to grow a successful following with another, doesn’t mean EVERYTHING is going to work. Hypothetically at least. To make this point, her appearance on “Rosary Blue” by THE 69 EYES wasn’t exactly spectacular back in 2012, but is it fair to judge a person's singing career on one niche bonus track? 2021 saw Kat release her debut solo album, by the name of “Love Made Me Do It” …let’s see what it took her nine years to get up to.... 

The album opens up with “Intro”; the most original of opening tracks, and, it’s your typical purely instrumental introduction that’s designed to create a sense of suspense and intrigue. Though, to be fair, the deep, chilling synths here give off a very “Stranger Things” vibe. I swear that TV show’s intro was so good it’s become a standard bearer to this exact sort of synth driven instrumentation. First track proper then; “Vanish” follows in the same vein as the aforementioned 69 Eyes collaboration. It’s a hushed, delicate piano piece with Kat’s vocals sounding husky, raspy and vulnerable, as she sings about her fears towards being able to love. It’s quite a solemn, self-depreciating track and really quite deep in its self-reflection to be fair, and an emotionally powerful start.  

Lyrically, Kat can remain subtly negative in certain aspects but credit to her, despite this, she’s released a selection of absolute bops, and we’ll start with “Exorcism”. The percussion rich retro synths give this a wonderfully new-wave throwback, and the chorus is on another level. The almost spoken-word delivery of the track's vocals allows for the harmonious notes to shine through, and for all intents and purposes this is a brilliant pop song.  

This is continued with “Lost At Sea” which instrumentally channels the same energy electronically as say, WILLIAM CONTROL, and the throwback vibes are strong here. The chorus feels like an eruption of frustrations as Kat sings the tracks title, amidst a barrage of more intense guitar and drum work and the whole piece just feels like, more of the frenetic advocation of her own mental state and wellbeing. The string work adds taste and maturity to the overall message and it’s like a real sense of reflection, sung with honesty and it’s applaudable.  

Album highlight then “Pretending” is simply superb...the 80’s-rich electronic pop harks back to the likes of ULTRAVOX and A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS and yet again, the chorus here is one of the catchiest things you will hear this year. This is modern new wave pop at its very best and once again the simplicity of a catchy-ass chorus, along with the nostalgic vibes of early new romanticism allow this to be a legit tune; this is a flawless, faultless pop track and all of the applause needs to go to Kat for delivering this. There are other efforts such as “Enough” which channel the likes of THE CURE, and even "Protected" featuring PETER MURPHY of BAUHAUS no less, but to be fair, we’ve peaked. 

While not being a complete sweep, with the likes of “Interlude” being ultimately pointless, and “I Am Nothing” returning to that solemn, hushed slow-jam effort, it’s not an entirely fun-filled record. Obviously, the tracks that stand out do so on their own merit, and each to their own, but to lose the intro and interlude cliches would save some time, and it’s only a shame that Kat indulged in more of the slower offerings, knowing what she is capable of as a pop star it turns out.  

Don’t get me wrong, the album as a whole, is impressive and wasn’t what I was expecting following the 69 Eyes collaboration, but I’m glad it’s gone this way. Few modern pop artists correctly mix modern production with the aesthetic of their own 80’s influences and too often it becomes cliché, but with Kat not being a renowned musician, the expectation was non-existent, and her tracks have sounded fresh as a result. It’s not a perfect album start to finish, but it’s a brilliant nostalgia trip, and a great gateway for some of y’all younglings to take an interest in some classic 80’s electronic pop. Love apparently made her do it, I just hope she does it again...[7] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/KATVOND
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Spice Girls - "Spice: 25th Anniversary"

13/11/2021

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Pop music, however you look at it, rules the world. Let’s put personal tastes, genre bias and judgement to one side for just a moment, and just accept, that despite its all too often disposable, manufactured nature, its commercial viability and mainstream appeal dominates the airwaves. You’ll be all too familiar with radio stations churning out the same songs by the same artists, I mean, who ISN’T sick of hearing the same 5 track playlist on repeat day after day?  

While I can scoff at the plethora of copy and paste performers heard nowadays; they follow the publicity, the market trends, and they succeed, and it’s like, upon reflection, every generation seemingly has it’s chosen artist or group; whether it’s LEWIS CAPALDI or ONE DIRECTION for example. This brings us to the mid-to-late 90’s, and more specifically the SPICE GIRLS, and THEY, were a legit phenomenon. Formed by talent managers Bob and Chris Herbert, they literally put a call out for auditions for a blatantly manufactured ‘girl band’, purely to contrast the boyband dominated pop scene. Young girls were swooning over the likes of *NSYNC, TAKE THAT, THE BACKSTREET BOYS left right and centre, but young girls didn’t have many role models and women to look up to in pop music. This was about to change. 

The Spice Girls consisted individually of Baby Spice (Emma Bunton), Ginger Spice (Ed Sheeran, sorry, no, Geri Halliwell), Scary Spice (Melanie B), Posh Spice (Victoria Adams), and Sporty Spice (Melanie C), and as mish mash as their aliases were, they showed true diversity not only in vocal performance, but in character and presentation, and gave young girls confidence to be themselves, birthing the ‘Girl Power' revolution. They sold millions of records worldwide and are arguably the biggest, most successful girl band of all time. 2021 happens to be the 25th anniversary of their ground-breaking debut album; “Spice”...an album I remember owning on cassette as well as CD...let’s take a trip down memory lane, and see how well this has aged... 

The album opens up with their debut single “Wannabe” and oh boy...this either triggers a sense of happy nostalgia, or PTSD from school discos, there is no in-between. The video highlights the aforementioned points about individuality perfectly, as it hammers home their difference in style and dress sense, alongside their separate vocal contributions. They are very much together as a performing unit, in sync and rehearsed, but there is a uniqueness to each of them, and that gave them their edge. Though to be fair Posh seemed to just tag along here with zero stand out contributions. It’s an iconic track and a real earworm, despite how utterly annoying the bulk of the track is, but it was this catchy simplicity that got people's attention...we were hooked...like the unofficial 6th member; smoking spice. 

The rest of the album had its fair share of hit singles, and you’ll be as familiar with all of them to be frank. “Say You’ll Be There” houses it’s sultry, electro-tinged pop elements that accompany the quite Tarantino-esque music video...PVC-clad, ninja bitches in the desert, pleading for relationship equality essentially. The harmonica solo is SO out of the blue it makes the track truth be told, but in all seriousness, they just wanted guys to not be dicks back in 1996...guys still don’t listen. Sort yourselves out guys! Mel C can literally kick you in the face! 

A lot of the 90’s was littered with a sense of throwback funk, as genres evolved and transitioned through dance and rave etc, and nothing highlights this more than “Who Do You Think You Are?”...the up-beat, clap-along percussion with brass instrumentation, group vocal harmonies and dance-hall tempo highlighted just how fun pop music could be. I don’t care if you live in a cave and exclusively listen to doom metal, I challenge you to listen to this and not vibe. Honestly, you’d have to be soulless. The Spice Girls weren’t all about chaotic fun however, as they were equally adept at dropping some superb ballads.
  
The acoustic driven melodies of “Mama” while quaint, are backed by subtle DJ record scratches and a certain sense of swagger with the almost proto-trap beat, and it’s one of the sweetest, most innocent tracks you’ll ever hear. We’ve all been there; you grow up, you want to do your own thing, you rebel a bit, and you may get into trouble here and there, but this track tackles an apologetic maturity with gospel backing and it’s genuinely lovely. As generations come and go, this song is timeless. Speaking of, we have ...”2 Become 1”...the soft, string-led romantic ballad garnered the Spice Girls the coveted UK Christmas Number 1 in the Top 40 Charts and cemented them as superstars. The change in pace and instrumentation showcased their tender side, a more mature side and proved they had all of the tools to succeed, and were far from one trick ponies. The sexual tones of the track were played tastefully here, unlike say, CARDI B with “WAP”, and despite the obvious suggestive lyricism, with even nods to contraception, which as young 90’s children we were naïve to, it’s not in your face and blatantly slutty. Tastefully done ladies. 

There are non-released tracks like “Love Thing” and “Naked”, but given the strength of the singles, these are reduced to filler quite frankly, and it’s a 50/50 album at best...however...that 50% rocketed Spice Girls into the stratosphere of pop culture, musical history, relevance and importance for the worlds following generations. Everyone from ADELE, CHARLI XCX and BILLIE EILISH have taken influence from the English quintet. People might think back on the Spice Girls now with a cringeworthy mindset, scoff at them, mock them...but they’re as an important part of pop music as ELVIS is to rock ‘n’ roll, as BLACK SABBATH are to metal...styles change, tastes change, but The Spice Girls left a legacy, and admit it or not, they spiced up your life...though that’s a story for 2022. [7] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/SPICEGIRLS
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Eurovision 2021: I'm Not 'UK' (I Promise)

30/5/2021

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As you should all be well aware by now, I have a great fondness for the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. It is a song contest the likes of which, the world has never seen the likes of which, aside from the past sixty odd years or so...but I digress. 2020 saw the contests cancellation due to the Covid pandemic; the first time in history such a thing has occurred, and though while despite still having the junior version at the tail end of the year, when lockdowns and such gradually eased up, 2020 was lacking in more than just social interaction...I didn’t get to enjoy a night of roasting the final via my Twitter feed in real time. Alas, there was always going to be 2021 right? Right? 

As expected, the 2021 contest did take place, on May 22nd in Rotterdam, making up for last year’s unprecedented situation, by technically allowing the Netherlands to become the first nation to host two consecutive contests. Asterisk here of course. Nevertheless, all was looking promising, until I found out that one of my newest favourite bands, IST IST, were performing a socially distanced show in Manchester on the very same night! Having not been to a gig since 2019, and having not seen my good friend James in that exact same time...I committed a cardinal sin, and attended the gig with him instead of watching Eurovision. Forgive me father, or, spank me daddy, delete as applicable? Either way I’m going to make up for it. 

While we all now know the results, posthumously if you will regarding how dead in the water the UK are, I’ll be taking a look at the grand finalist's songs, and questioning both how and why the UK finished last with the dreaded nil poi...so what better place to start, than the UK’s song itself. JAMES NEWMAN was our 2021 entry with a track called “Embers”. The London based singer/songwriter has been called “James Nil-Man" following the result, but is the mockery justified? Granted it’s quite the safe track in terms of tone and delivery...it’s got a very Summery vibe with its brass-fuelled dance-pop, smoky vocals and up-beat rhythm. It’s the kind of track I’d expect to hear on Radio 1 or some random YouTube holiday advert. Is it awful? No absolutely not. Is it a musical masterpiece, a misunderstood work of genius, ahead of its time? Likewise, no, it’s a generic, run-of-the-mill dance pop effort, but should have at LEAST garnered SOME points with the average Joe...so what went wrong? 
If the UK were at the very bottom of the pile with zero points, who was at the top? The answer, is Italy this year, and slap my ass with a stale ciabatta they entered a rock song?! The group MÅNESKIN won the 2021 contest with the track “Zitti E Buoni” and to be fair it was a pleasant surprise. Sure, it was all sung in their native Italian, so I don’t know what the hell was being said, but the track had a solid groove and housed a smooth, classic rock aesthetic which was about as expected as their victory...aka...it wasn’t. I find this amusing in ways as, here in the UK, despite frankly birthing most of the world's greatest rock bands going as far back as the 60’s, rock and alternative music is generally shunned by the mainstream here in favour of the kind of disposable dance pop we entered, funnily enough. Karma perhaps? Actually, don’t get me started on the charts, pile of bollocks.  

So, we came last, and an unexpected rock song came first...not like, a LORDI level effort with all the costumes and gimmicks, but, an actual straight up rock song...but there were still a further 24 countries that finished above us, surely, we weren’t THE worst track out of all twenty-six nations? Germany’s entry JENDRIK came one place above us with “I Don’t Feel Hate” and it rather awkwardly combined ukulele with up-beat whistling and folk-pop, before some sporadic, jazzy breakdowns. While inoffensive, it was musically jarring as it switched styles and for that alone, it was IMO, worse than ours.  
Spain didn’t do a great deal better with their entry “Voy A Quedarme” by BLAS CANTÓ, and really speaking it’s one of those generic soft piano ballads that the contest has been renowned for in recent years. Totally innocuous, if I were live tweeting this after several beverages, I’d probably be saying his name translates as bland cunt but, there we go. Host nation Netherlands did fairly poorly themselves as JEANGU MACROOY only managed 23rd with his track “Birth Of A New Age” ...the soft Afro-pop / reggae-pop offering speaking of lots of rebellion probably irked several juries as it’s MEANT to be a non-political show, but we all know how true that isn’t. Different, but, better than ours? Questionable. 

What about some of the better results then? Who or what was deemed to be more favourable by both the judges and voting public? GO_A were back representing the Ukraine here following what was arguably my favourite entry from last year; “Solovey”. The new track, “Shum”, might not have the same infectious quality to it, but in a different sense it retains a very catchy, up-beat characteristic that grows over the track's duration. The folk pop, oompah-gypsy style with flutes, coupled with some deep, electronic production allows for a fascinating culture crossover, and the group themselves have grown in confidence massively. The track rises and rises in intensity building to a wonderful crescendo, leading up to some classic, mid-90's Tatanka-esque native war-cry type shit. How many chops can you do, in 2:52? That’s an ad-break questionarium for OSW! 
Having mentioned LORDI earlier, I have to mention Finland as it’s a country I always keep an eye out for, having personally voted for the likes of SAARA AALTO in recent years, and this year was no exception... had it not been for the fact I didn’t watch the live final! BLIND CHANNEL entered their track “Dark Side” and it was a wonderfully melodic nu-metal inspired effort, rich in riffs, swagger-fuelled rap-tinged vocals, gang vox and all of the middle fingers in the air. Any regular readers who like, say, HACKTIVIST or HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD would have lapped this up, fantastic stuff, this certainly would have had my vote. Adopt me Finland, please?  

​Last year's favourite, Iceland, re-entered DADI FREYR with the new track “10 Years” and again, another case of growth in confidence...the track this year is no less catchy or fun with its funk-rich delivery but it’s a lot smoother and really vibes, this track did understandably well for 2020’s unofficial winner. France is pretty renowned for scoring poorly, so for them to finish second this year was surprising...especially as their entry “Voila” by BARBARA PRAVI was no more than a dramatic, string/piano ballad fit for a theatrical ballet, we’re talking niche genre trappings here, but it did well. Might sell some Peugeots in the future, but, it’s not for me.  
Not even star-power can help some countries however, as FLO RIDA, of all people, joined SENHIT and San Marino of all places...they must have spent their entire GDP on his guest vocals on “Adrenalina” to finish 22nd...brilliant economic investment, you just voted for a nation to starve. Belgium then represents with a wonderfully bluesy number that references JOHHNY CASH, so credit to HOOVERPHONIC and their track “The Wrong Place”, which fittingly brings us full circle to describe the UK; we finished in the wrong place. Now don’t get me wrong, my ears and probably opinions differ from, well, clearly the millions of people who vote on the world's biggest song contest, but I’m not rallying for a pro-UK movement, or being overly patriotic in the face of defeat; I’m simply suggesting the UK didn’t deserve to come last, let alone get no points whatsoever. 

​Having not seen who gave who what points this year, I can’t comment on the usual and typical “neighbour” voting system you tend to notice, not that the contest is meant to be political as stated, and this could in ways be backed by Italy’s unexpected winning rock track. But, given the farce that was the whole Brexit vote, with the UK government essentially lying to the British public, and then continuing to make themselves look like an absolute bunch of bell ends; making demands to the EU, it’s easy to see why, when it comes to the UK, a performers talent and song quality clearly means very little. We as a nation, are looked upon as outsiders, and frankly blanked by a tight-nit European collective...and we have the government to thank for that. Was our entry ever a winning song? Doubtful, don’t get me wrong, but zero points is more of a statement to us as Brits as it is a fair reaction to our performance in Rotterdam. It might only be a silly song contest to many, but it’s got history, it’s a cultural phenomenon, and we haven’t won it since 1997...and the way things are going, we’ll be lucky to win it by 2097. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to snort some coke with that dude from Italy...allegedly.  
BUY ALL YOUR OFFICIAL EUROVISION MERCH HERE
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GavTheGothicChav: The Best Of 2020

3/1/2021

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What is there to say about 2020, that hasn't already been said? Within these reviews over the past nine months I've light-heartedly made reference to issues like Covid-19 and such, but let's not detract from the seriousness of the whole situation. As a calendar year, 2020 was one of the most difficult, frustrating, upsetting and confusing in recent history, and this isn't strictly down to Coronavirus...this time last year we were on the brink of World War 3! Politics has been a shambles, social injustice has been rife, the divide in both community spirit and the classes seemingly continues to grow, and generally speaking, the world is a complete mess. Luckily we've had music to keep us going, if not to keep us sane, and for that at least I am grateful. The images above showcase my personal highlights of 2020, grouped in categories covering pop, metal, EP's and general favourites, and it shows that, despite the state of the world, music flourishes. Music and the arts are SO important, as many of us learned during national lockdown, and we need to appreciate the people who dedicated their lives to creating that art SO much, because times like these prove we'd be lost without them. 

I mean, just looking at the cover art above, it's been as diverse a year as any. MILEY CYRUS embraced her inner rocker on her new album, having collaborated with the likes of BILLY IDOL and JOAN JETT. Groups like STEPS made an unexpected comeback showing they've still got it in an ever changing pop industry, as did MELANIE C. From a metal standpoint, PARADISE LOST prove they just get better with age, as they not only released one of the albums of their career, they also found themselves in the UK Top 40! Imagine that! Goth metal on Radio 1! It gives hope to newer acts like SOUTH OF SALEM who delivered a truly stunning debut album, and certify themselves as ones to watch for sure. There have also been plenty of superb EP's released over the past twelve months...especially VV. Ville Valo surprised everyone with his 3-track EP and HIM fans rejoiced at the new material, I for one certainly cannot wait to hear more from him. CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS put emphasis on the art as their whole EP was turned into one big choreographed music video which was impressive, while I personally made some brilliant discoveries in the form of LUCIA & THE BEST BOYS and JACKIE. 

Finally then, my official albums of the year, and I was spoiled for choice to be fair. THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE always deliver, they never release a bad album and I'm looking forward to catching up with Chibi on the rescheduled tour dates. MARILYN MANSON dropped his best album in years much to my delight, having found his last couple a little bit boring (Sorry Mazza!), GREY DAZE tugged at the heartstrings with a touching tribute to the late Chester Bennington, releasing unheard material from his pre-LINKIN PARK days, reminding us all how much we'll miss such a talented, brilliant human being. NINJA SEX PARTY on the other hand proved they remain one of the funniest groups around with their bonkers writing style, comedic lyricism and story-telling and wholesome attitude. Yes, 2020 has been a bit of a mess to say the least, but we've still got music, and as fans of that music, we've still got one another, and as a community, we need to hold on to that. With that said, below, is my official GTGC Spotify playlist of 2020, with 40 hand-picked tracks spanning the above records, and it is dedicated to my very good friend Scot 'JD' Rees, who is sadly no longer with us in body, but will forever be with us in heart and spirit. Whether he had a Jack & Coke in his hand, or his guitar, he was always laughing at something, and his energy for enjoyment was infectious. I will miss you Scot, and this compilation is for you. X
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Junior Eurovision Song Contest: Poland 2020

4/12/2020

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Allow me if I may, to cast your minds back...to May; a time of year I anticipate with a varying degree of excitement and self-loathing. A birthday perhaps? No... those never excite me...though statistically people who have more birthdays live longer. That’s a fact. But no, I am of course talking about, the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.  

​I bet you’re thinking, Gav, you already covered the 2020 Eurovision Song Contest in a rather lengthy, frankly indulgent post? It was cancelled because of Coronavirus, leaving you rather irate with only the 40+ track accompanying album to review...what more could you possibly say? Well, my friends...as it happens, A LOT. You see I may or may not have overlooked the fact that, there is also a JUNIOR version of the song contest, which apparently France won this past weekend. I bet I also know what you’re thinking now; Gav...no, please? They are children?! You couldn’t possibly?!?!? That...sounds darker than it needs to...nevertheless! I am about to review, the Junior Eurovision Song Contest, 2020. Does this count as child abuse? 

While not having the 60+ year heritage of the actual contest, the junior version is itself still in its 18th year and is continuing to grow, providing an international platform for budding young artists and performers hoping to make a career in the music industry. This year the contest was meant to be held in Poland, the first time in Eurovision history a nation has held it twice consecutively, but due to the ongoing issues regarding Covid-19, only 12 nations chose to participate, and it was televised from separate national studios instead of having one live-performance final. With the slogan #MoveTheWorld, it captured a positive message of togetherness and safeguarding the future, as the younger generations look to make the world a better place. Sadly, that time will have to wait, as I’m about to review the shit out of these twelve entries... 

For the purpose of convenience, I’ll be running through the tracks in order of their album placing according to Spotify, as opposed to the actual running order of the final, so if you choose to listen, this list will at least be cohesive whether you agree with me or not, and we start with Belarus. ARINA PEHTEREVA gets us underway with the track “Aliens”, and apparently, she’s only 12 years old. Seriously...what do they put in the water in Belarus? Aside from 70% of the Chernobyl fallout. The semi-hushed, soulful pop effort with brief hip-hop elements sounds far more mature than her 12 years and it's actually an impressive vocal performance... I mean if she’s 12, then I’M an alien...shooketh I am! 

Next up we have Germany, and it marks their first ever entry into the Junior version of the contest. Well, they need something to do in the absence of the Hitler Youth, right? I jest. (Come on it’s been 75 years get over it) ...the track is called “Stronger With You” by a young lady named SUSAN. Really? Not to nit-pick here but, Susan is the least German sounding German ever... doing a weekly grocery shop in ALDI is about as German as Susan gets. I digress. The 14-year-old delivers a traditionally performed pop-ballad in a mixture of German and English, dramatic and cliched, it’s basic, safe Eurovision fodder and sadly boring as a result. She came last by the way. Take that, Susan. 

Moving on to Spain next, and the song “Palante” by a 9-year-old girl by the name of SOLEA. Apparently, a slang term for “Keep going” or, “Go for it” in Spanish, its intent is obviously positive and encouraging, motivational even, and the overall Latino/Hispanic pop grooves while stereotypical, aren’t dreadful. I mean it’s not as shit as “Despacito” ...there...praised a nine-year-old. Quickly hopping across the border then to France and we have our aforementioned winner; an 11-year-old named VALENTINA with a track called “J’imagine”. Other than sounding like Jimmy Saville’s own brand of cologne (Hey why does this smell like Rohyp....zZzZzZz) it’s performed in French, like most of the French entries, and comprises of a predominantly inoffensive, quirky, up-beat piece of sweet-pop. The track itself is nothing spectacular, but what’s funny is someone has edited Valentina’s Wikipedia page, stating that she cheated. No proof, just calling her a cheater. And I thought I was petty and bitter!? That’s actually amused me, well done, random butt-hurt person. 

We’re a third of the way through now thankfully as we head over to Georgia, to check out SANDRA GADELIA and her entry “You Are Not Alone”. To be fair, you are undoubtedly correct here as I cannot be the only one not having a good time right now. Here is the shock twist however...the piano ballad is fuelled by some incredibly and impressively powerful, emotive vocals. This has some presence and one has to tip his hat where it’s warranted. There’s a SLIGHTLY dodgy key-change which makes you question it’s necessity, but other than that, well done; an album high-light this. 

Next up we have KARAKAT BASHANOVA representing Kazakhstan, though while not as popular as Borat globally, she probably brings less shame upon her country. At 12 years old she’s currently attending a musical boarding school where she is classically training in violin and piano, which is beyond evident in the more mature, operatic / ballet composition of the song. It’s quite elegant in all fairness and again, impresses. It’s still pretty safe, your typical ballad in terms of Eurovision, but this young lady has a potentially bright future in musical theatre for sure. Jagshemash!  

Moving swiftly on to Malta next as we find CHANEL MONSEIGNEUR singing her entry “Chasing Sunsets” ...it is, undeniably, yet another by-numbers soft pop-ballad which, for the pre-teen is delivered clearly and confidently and it’s a pleasant pop song as a whole, but this is getting a little rinse and repeat by this point. It’s getting difficult to find anything of real interest...forget chasing sunsets this is more like chasing the dragon now. Also, there is a pattern forming...can our next entry mix things up a bit? Well, a bit is fitting. UNITY who are representing Netherlands here, aren’t just a young female solo artist...no, they are a group of young female artists! Did any boys enter this at all? It’s not a bad thing if they didn’t but it’s certainly interesting. Performing a track called “Best Friends”, they essentially come across as a sort of, teenage LITTLE MIX. Littler Mix, if you will. That about sums up the track. 

We’re into the final third now as we get host nation Poland and their entry “I’ll Be Standing”, by ALA TRACZ. Not to be confused with Alcatraz, but it does feel like I’ve served some sort of life sentence up to this point. It’s got an assertive chorus rich in percussion, brass AND synth elements while the young lady fleets back and forth her native tongue and English vocals, and really its quite up-beat; this is far from the worst track here. Serbia are up next and we get our first male performer of the contest...PETAR ANICIC and his song “Heartbeat”...and I’m not going to lie when I say my mind instantly went to some, Serbian rip-off of a certain 1960’s Yorkshire based police drama. I can’t imagine Serbian police letting Greengrass off so lightly for poaching though if I’m honest. Anyway, it’s another piano ballad, what a surprise. 

Our penultimate track comes from Russia with love, as SOFIA FESKOVA performs her track “My New Day” and it’s yet another, sickly-sweet pop-ballad. I mean she’s clearly got Disney+ at home going by this track...I wouldn’t be surprised if she ran into the woods to sing this to the animals quite frankly but, being Russia it’s probably safer not to. Be like Snow White, but instead of seven dwarves she’d stumble across seven prisoners of war in some forgotten gulag. Finally then, we round things up with the Ukraine’s entry; “Vidkryvai (Open Up)” by a lad named OLEKSANDR BALABANOV (Do-do-dododo...sorry I just had to). It’s more of a soulful slow jam with a touch more character than a lot of the tracks here and he’s got a uniquely blended vocal and it ends the album on a better note. 

While I praise the variety and character of the original Eurovision Song Contest, my first experience of the Junior contest hasn’t been completely encouraging. Sure, there have been one or two impressive vocal performances for the age range we’re talking about, and we can’t overlook the fact that the majority of countries pulled out because of Covid-19, but the tracks that made up the remaining contestants failed to excite or inspire. You could argue that, as children, they are having songs written for them...true, but so do the adults most of the time. The difference is, with children, you aren’t going to get ridiculous entries like LORDI...you aren’t going to have artists like CONCHITA or HATARI making bold statements, you’re going to get things pretty safe, and sadly that’s exactly what we had here. Fair play to them mind, they got up on stage and they sang for their countries, and they should be proud of themselves. Except you Susan...you came last. 
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Aline Mayne - "Nothing To Lose" EP

29/7/2020

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Warning: The following review features words written either by a professional, or under the false-pretense of professionalism...accordingly; GavTheGothicChav and his non-existent editors must insist than no one attempt to recreate, or reenact, or, generally rationalize for that matter, any of the words you are about to read... 

You may indeed recognize that introductory paragraph as a parody of the original “Jackass” disclaimer, and rightfully be thinking to yourself, where the hell is this going? Well I’ll tell you. ALINE MAYNE was born in Brussels, Belgium and while you may not instantly recognize her name or face, you could very well have already seen her perform, as she is an established stunt-double and on-screen persona, having worked on successful shows such as “Gotham” and “Fear The Walking Dead”. Granted she does her stunts properly, unlike the lads from Jackass, but you know I love a segue.  
 
Anyway, aside from this, her love of performance art doesn’t stop there, as she’s also incredibly accomplished in the field of music. From a young age she’s studied piano and composition, performed in various local rock bands growing up, studied classical singing and performed in a choir too. Does this mean we’re in for an operatic symphonic metal treat? Does it fuck. Aline recently released an EP by the name of “Nothing To Lose” and quite frankly, it’s my only reasoning going into this review. I mean you COULD argue my sanity but that’s long gone let’s be honest...anyway...let’s check this out. 
 
We open up with the title track, nice and traditionally, but it's a faltering start. Her vocals are delivered in a predominantly flat, monotone style that, while giving off a subtle robotic aesthetic, come off as not so much retro but regrettable. Granted, the chorus picks up with more up-beat energy, allowing for some pretty straightforward electro-pop, but it’s as good as it gets here. Realistically there is plenty to lose truth be told...my interest for one, which would have in turn had a domino effect on my will to live had it not been for the chorus. This is not a very promising start. 

Luckily the EP salvages itself next with the highlight track “Break Your Heart” and there are a variety of, not so much influences, but styles I’m picking up throughout this track. The initial pulse of the electronica alongside the basic percussion and vocal delivery reminds me of RACHEL STEVENS in ways...but with more obvious nods to modern pop acts too such as LADY GAGA or early KATY PERRY. The simplicity of this one is honestly charming; the chorus may be repetitive but the beat, rhythm and overall tone here is pleasant and in terms of delivery, this is much better. The same can be said of closing track “Suicide Love” which utilizes more of a soft drum’n’bass instrumentation which allows for an up-tempo more exciting listen, and it does close the EP on a somewhat positive note. 
 
Sadly, the other two tracks aren’t quite as encouraging...”Spoil Me” may have slightly retro synths and another vibrant chorus, simple hooks again, but it’s very run of the mill pop music which does fall into the trap of repetition. The materialistic nature of the track, be it ironic or not, holds zero interest. “Bubble Gum Dream” then gives off more of an R’n’B chillout vibe with a hint of synth pop for essentially the most boring of the five tracks presented here. There are some forced vocals which don’t sound too pleasant towards the tracks climax, in addition to the track itself being quite lifeless. Let’s face it if you’re dreaming of bubble gum, you’re either Willy Wonka or on drugs...quite possibly both. Come to think of it a drugged up Wonka sounds a lot more entertaining. 

Ultimately, Aline may be a classically trained musician and choir vocalist with all the experience in the world, but this EP doesn’t strictly do her justice. She’s gone for a marketable formula sure; I can totally understand that, the mainstream pop aesthetic will shift units, get her on more radio, TV spots, you name it, but she’s played it far too safely and sadly generically to really stand out from, well, anyone. There is potential there, this EP isn’t awful per se, but unfortunately “Nothing To Lose” lost my attention, and that bubble gum dream just burst. [4] 
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ALINEMAYNEMUSIC
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Juliper Sky - "Visions Of A New Age" EP

17/6/2020

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When I posted my 2nd “Unlucky Dip” collective singles review, I joked that it was weird for me to not have roasted any of them, and that I had in fact enjoyed each of the seven tracks to varying degrees. This was of course eventually proven too good to be true, when I recently reviewed the debut album by London pop-duo BEFORE SUNDAY, on the back of their inclusion in the feature. Let’s be honest they essentially catfished me with their GHOST cover! Well anyway, this next review also happens to be taken from that singles collection, but this is actually intended to be a way to make up for a passive aggressive write up I gave the band in question…

I know what you’re thinking…Gav? Apologising for comments made in a review? How much have they paid him!? Well fret not, I don’t do bribes (I’d accept the money, but write an even WORSE review then deny any transactions! #RickySpanish) but I will hold my hands up for being a dick. The band in question are JULIPER SKY and the Manchester based outfit (Consisting of lead vocalist Jamie Lambert, guitarists Dan Parker and Liam Grindell, bassist Roger Damen and drummer Ben Pursehouse) have a new track due out called “Afterglow”, which I featured in my round-up. It was a decent enough track, akin to the likes of BLOSSOMS, but I had no track to share, to music video to share, not even the artwork for the single, so I was a bit bitchy. This, believe it or not, made me feel a tad guilty, so I thought I’d revisit their newest EP, which also came out this year, and do a proper review. With that said, let’s check out “Visions Of A New Age”…what could go wrong?

The EP greets us rather appropriately with “Waves” and immediately we’re thrust into a blissfully light, delicate dreamscape of sounds and sensations. The percussion is subtle and unimposing, allowing the tinny guitars and gentle synth effects to accompany Lambert’s lulling vocals wonderfully, and it’s a sweet little start, almost KEANE-like. “Reflections Of The Winter Sun” then follows up and while not poles apart in terms of sound in the slightest, for the approach is ultimately the same, the suggestive nature of the title itself allows the instrumentation to take on an icy, crystalized tone, and while slightly lower in tempo, the musical narrative manages to set quite a scene.

Next up we have EP highlight “Magnetise” and here we get more of the soft indie aspects that appealed to me the first time I heard them…again here appealing to fans of the more soothing output of the newest BLOSSOMS record but they retain a certain pop influence that you may find in the style of say, MARK OWEN for example, before we finish up on “Heaven” and we return to the by now cemented preference for dreamy, shoegaze fuelled indie-pop, as the EP continues to meander peacefully through your speakers as it draws to a close. Overall it’s a lovely little selection of tracks, for sure, instantly accessible and tailor made for mainstream radio play given the opportunities, that I won’t and can’t deny…what I CAN do however, is say with personal preference that it doesn’t necessarily tick all of my boxes. An indie ballad can work incredibly well, look at “Yellow” by COLDPLAY, or “Caroline, Yes” by KAISER CHIEFS, hell even “Wonderwall” if you want to go there, but they’ve got a bit more bite, a bit more drive; a bit more passion. These four tracks, as lovely as they are, just lack that certain edge that could elevate them further. These visions of a new age, while promising, are a little bit blurry at this moment in time. [5]
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/JULIPERSKY
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Before Sunday - "Anticipation"

13/6/2020

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The other day, when I shared my newest “Unlucky Dip” collection, despite my clear favourites, there was one new artist in particular that peaked my interest; I’m just yet to determine if it was for all the right or wrong reasons. Yes you may remember me including a London-based duo by the name of BEFORE SUNDAY, who alongside some selected peers through Angels PR, covered “Square Hammer” by GHOST. Now I like this song a lot and you may recall I regarded the move as nothing short of bold, but the track was covered fairly traditionally without any needless bells and whistles, and credit to them they did it justice. Here is where the curiosity often kills the cat…

Given the band and track they covered, and having known nothing about the band prior to hearing said cover, I had to ask myself, was this a potentially new, up-and-coming alternative goth pop band? Can I look forward to some modern post-punk? Hell I’d settle for some retro dark-pop! In this instance…we sadly do not get any of those things. Yes the duo who make up Before Sunday; Nick Basis and Stella Panteloudi are a straight up pop act that just happen to appreciate a little rock ‘n’ roll influence here and there, and quite frankly I’m feeling catfished. But seeing as we’re here, they released their debut album recently entitled “Anticipation”…let me just tell you that mine has gone through the floor as opposed to the roof.

The album opens up with “Living In London” which to be fair is quite a catchy little piece of social commentary; highlighting the living conditions of living in the British capital, with the general ignorance of society leaving you feel alone in a population of millions…the generally overpriced day-to-day living and the often shitty weather. They paint a pretty bleak picture but I’m sure very many can relate. The track itself is a guitar driven piece of soft rock with ample swagger and a certain vocal drawl that in some ways finds itself between JOAN JETT and MILEY CYRUS…it’s a decent opener. “Big House” then follows up and the direction changes somewhat to say the least. The rockier guitars are replaced with more of a light, soulful funk aesthetic which coupled with the core pop delivery could pass for some, KYLIE MINOGUE or ALPHABEAT.

Even though the album is only ten tracks in length, it still manages to find itself book-ended with the better tracks at the beginning and the end, with the middle sort of just, existing. “Obsessions” for example is a wonderfully heartfelt, sombre piano/synth led pop ballad with a soaring vocal chorus. “Goddess” combines those gentle ballad qualities but brings back the funk-rich guitars and marries them with some innocently sweet vocal notes, before “Devil” rounds the album off on another guitar driven, rockier high note. It’s got a certain surging urgency to its delivery when it’s in full flow and the up-tempo intensity is welcome…they left it late but we actually get some of the slightest hints at more metallic instrumentation here that could be tied in to that Ghost cover.

As I said the middle of the album is generally generic pop music…the vocals on “Unconditional” are well produced and fine, “Gone” gives off Eurovision power ballad vibes and “Closed Doors” adapts more of a random country-pop aesthetic. While there’s nothing necessarily bad here, it’s a fine pop album with some good quality clean production, I can’t get that Ghost cover out of my head and can’t help but be somewhat disappointed by this album, which is a shame because there’s nothing wrong with it for what it is. It’s got its charm and does highlight a variety of genre influences all streamlined into one collection of quirky pop, but I was hoping for something more. I don’t even know what…maybe even like, OF MONSTERS & MEN or a SHINY TOY GUNS or something along those lines, which, sadly these are not. Before Sunday? More like never in a month of Sunday’s. [5]
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BEFORESUNDAYBAND
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Unlucky Dip (08/06/2020)

8/6/2020

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OK so, back in May I debuted a new blog feature which I dubbed the "Unlucky Dip", where I take a break from reviewing full length albums and EP's, to give the singles a chance. It not only allows me to cover a wider variety of artists and genres in one swoop, but it reminds me of albums that will be coming out, and helps me clear more of my never ending barrage of emails. Last time around I was a little mean to one or two of the artists, but as I did point out, this feature IS a sort of cross between speed dating and a comedy roast. Luckily for these seven new artists I generally like all of the tracks I'm about to talk about, which is rare...unluckily for you however this may not be as much of an enjoyable read as the last one! Anyway, with that said, let's get into some music.

The Sounds - "Safe As Sound"

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I'd like to kick things off with some genuine positivity and excitement. THE SOUNDS are one of the bands I can thank Bam Margera for getting me into way back in the day, and while I was happy to have them back with their EP "The Tales That We Tell" in 2017, we haven't had a full album from Maja and co in seven years!

"Safe And Sound" is the latest single, taken from the highly anticipated new album "Things We Do For Love", which drops June 12th. Originally planned for a May release but put back due to Covid-19, their blend of lightly electronic tinged indie rock 'n' roll sounds as distinct and fresh as ever here...I guess you could say they haven't missed a Tony the beat! I'm very much looking forward to this album and you can expect to find it in my end of year lists for sure.

Jordan Lake - "Hunters & Wolves"

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This one was a submission from the people over at Pop Rush Music and as far as I can tell, this is a stand alone single, as there's been no mention to me of any releases to follow this up. The single in question; "Hunters & Wolves" is by an artist by the name of JORDAN LAKE. Not to be confused with the reservoir, Jordan was born in North Carolina and found his love for singing very early on.

At the age of 4 he became a church singer at his local parish and has had a passion for performing ever since. Now older and having relocated to the West coast, Jordan is writing mature, soulful and emotive pop music that in it's own ways bridges the likes of ADAM LAMBERT with RAG 'N' BONE MAN. Listen below and let me know what you think!

Gaerea - "Null"

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Well..this escalated quickly! GAEREA are a self-confessed cathartic black metal outfit from Portugal, and they were brought to my attention by the folk over at Season Of Mist. 

"Null" is the first track to be taken off their up-coming third album "Limbo" which is released on July 24th and if this track is anything to go by, the six-track 50-minute album is going to be one hell of a journey. There are European tour plans in place for the beginning of 2021, though they are scheduled to play a UK exclusive show in London on October 31st at the Nabucca, which you may want to keep an eye on if you're a fan of black and death metal, as it's part of the Subterranean Manifestation II line-up. Hopefully it goes ahead, and I'll say it again...fuck Covid-19.

360 Phoenix Flip - "Pyromaniac"

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This one is arguably the weakest of the seven tracks I'm going through today but that's purely on account the other 6 tracks, as this is still a fun little single and I'm actually not trying to be mean for once. 360 PHOENIX FLIP is the new (Albeit convoluted) moniker by which Mark Lovett now goes by.

Combining his love of skate-punk and artists such as NOFX and RUFIO, with his already experienced background in song production and EDM, he brings us his debut single "Pyromaniac" and the best way to describe it I believe would be, somewhere between OWL CITY and REGGIE & THE FULL EFFECT. Make of that what you will, but I like this and I look forward to what else he has in store. Maybe you'll find him in the new Tony Hawk remastered game soundtrack? At this time of writing I have no links to share with you, as the SoundCloud link was private...sorry.

Before Sunday - "Square Hammer"

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Now this...this one is fucking bold. GHOST, who you may be familiar with as arguably the biggest rising metal / alternative rock band on the planet, helped cement their status with the song "Square Hammer" from the "Popestar" EP. BEFORE SUNDAY, are a London based duo who have only recently released their debut EP, yet here we find them covering Ghost...and the track isn't even a part of their EP!

Yes thanks to Angels PR, the duo have been in touch with label-mate Marianna from PROJECT RENEGADE and other talented musician friends, to collaborate on this lock-down cover. To be fair, instrumentally at least, they've done the song justice as it barely strays from the original in tone, it's quite a by numbers cover, but naturally they aren't replacing Tobias on vocals, so that's where they differ, although they've stayed true to the original video too in their own ways, taking limitations into account. It's a brave cover, but no real complaints for execution. 

Juliper Sky - "Afterglow"

In case you're wondering why there is no art work for this single, it's because the band didn't supply any jpeg files of the artwork. Plenty of photo's of the band, sure, but none of the artwork. The image included in their press kit isn't usable sadly as I was unable to separate and save it to file. Could I message them and ask for a jpeg of the image? I could, of course I could...but it's really not worth the effort.

Anyway, JULIPER SKY are an up-and-coming indie-pop outfit based out of Manchester, UK, and having already released their debut EP this year entitled "Visions Of A New Age", they continue to release separate singles. Opinions vary as to how effective and efficient this is from a marketing stand point...on one hand you can keep fresh content coming and keep up the exposure and relevance...on the other hand, and this is something I believe personally, is that it's annoying and I'd rather you just keep the material for the 2nd EP...let's be honest most of the tracks are going to end up on the debut album anyway, so many artists do it, and I just find it all pointless myself. I digress..."Afterglow" is the kind of light pop-based indie that might appeal to fans of BLOSSOMS for example. You'll have to take my word for it though as again, it comes out on June 26th, and I have no Bandcamp, Spotify or Youtube links to share with you. I might review the EP, give you a better idea.

Mushroomhead - "The Heresy"

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Today then we finish up on this absolute gem, and another genuine bit of excitement. MUSHROOMHEAD have been going damn near thirty years now and having gone through a couple of line-up changes, they still have an incredibly prolific yet criminally underrated back catalog of albums. 

Having always faced criticism for being SLIPKNOT knock-offs, they never hit the heights they deserved to, but hopefully that will change on their upcoming new album "A Wonderful Life"; their first since 2014! The latest single promoting the album; "The Heresy" see's the real debut of new full time vocalist Ms. Jackie, as well a returning J Mann to bring some welcome nostalgia and heritage to their sound. The clean female vocals add a new dynamic which works really with their heavy, dystopian, underground progressive grunge metal style, and the political message of the single simply adds relevance. I cannot wait for this album, which comes out June 19th via Napalm Records.
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Unlucky Dip (19/05/2020)

19/5/2020

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I get A LOT of emails, not as many as big publications obviously, but for me, I get a lot, and I literally can’t keep up with them all. This means I either take virtually forever getting around to some reviews, resulting in the peak promotion period usually having been and gone, for that I do apologise. Sometimes I forget about submissions entirely, for which I also apologise, and a lot of the time, I’m sent singles. Now, this blog has been running since 2014 and 99% of the content here, bar the odd rare article, is comprised of EP and album reviews. I’ve nothing against the humble single, I miss the days of picking up CD singles in Woolworths wondering what B-Sides you’d be treated to…but writing a full review for just A single is something I’ve always personally deemed a bit of a ball ache.

Going forward, I am going to try to, once a week (The key word being try here, I’m making no promises) present a general collection of single submissions from my inbox in one article, to try and ensure I don’t miss out on potential gems, and more importantly, to also clear some space in my inbox (At this time of writing I have around 650 unread emails…LOL). With that in mind, here are seven randomly selected tracks that I have been sent, that I would like to share with you, in the first GTGC Unlucky Dip; the result of combining Speed Dating with the heartfelt Comedy Roast.

Heavyman - "Baby Jean"

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We're going to kick this feature off with a 4-piece from London by the name of HEAVYMAN. Comprising of vocalist/guitarist Charlie Yang, drummer Tom Papaloizou (I'm pretty sure he was in "The League Of Gentlemen"?) bassist Igor Fonseca and lead guitarist Nick Burns, they recently got in touch, stating that were fans of the blog and were themselves fueled by alcohol and sarcasm, asking me to check out their debut single "Baby Jean". How could I possible refuse?

Initially sounding like something you'd hear from early TURBONEGRO, it soon transitions into a more methodical, groove-rich slow jam of a southern blues rock effort. It covers all the bases with some slick guitar work and vocal swagger for some textbook classic blues rock. With more tracks scheduled to be released over the coming months, these are ones to watch.

Rory K - "Heat Thru Your Body"

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"Now this is a story all about how my life got, at most, mildly inconvenienced, but I'd like to take a minute just to share this my friend, and talk about this new single by The Fresh Prince Of Bellend".

You know all the meme's with "Now listen here you little shit..."? Well that's essentially me right now with RORY K. A native of downtown Manhattan, New York, Rory was born into a musical family, with his dad having been in the late 80's socio-political rock group BLACK 47. So imagine his dad's disappointment to see Rory here peddling some of the most uninspired, cringe-worthy rap/hip-hop an eleventeen-year-old would perform, on the track "Heat Thru Your Body"...I bet he finds vanilla spicy.

From the intro that sounds like seagulls having a stroke, to the combination of abysmal lyrics and self-indulgent vocals...and the embarrassing video, it's just...no. The bit where Rory is, (I'll use this term loosely) "performing" in front of some street graffiti, why are you holding a mic? You look like an absolute tit mate. And you emailed me three times for this? Assuming I hadn't replied because I couldn't stop dancing to the track? I would sooner invite my enemies to dance upon my grave than dance to this myself. And it's through*...for the record. I'm beginning to regret this new feature already...

Deejay Centipede - "Twerk It Out"

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I honestly don't know why I get sent this stuff...I'm not against rap and however many hip-hop subcultures there actually are, but it is SO rare I find any that I genuinely like. I can appreciate a flow, or a beat, sure, but there is too much recycled rap out there full of cliches about money, bitches, drugs and ho's and quite frankly I don't care about any of it.

"Twerk It Out" is the new track from Cleveland Ohio based hio-hop veteran DEEJAY CENTIPEDE, who has been spinning records since the 80's, and it features Sonny Vajra and Tee Hova...which...means absolutely nothing to me. It's got a certain 90's vibe going on which I guess you could describe as "fresh", with some soft synths poorly underlying some genuinely irritating clapping percussion. A lot of autotune going on in the vocals, and I can't lie, outside of this blog, I wouldn't listen to this...I'd rather be in the middle of a Human Centipede truth be told, but that's just me. As of now I'm outlawing Twerking on GTGC. 

Mother's Cake - "Toxic Brother"

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Austrian psychedelic rock trio MOTHER'S CAKE (Consisting of lead vocalist/guitarist Yves Krismer, bassist Benedikt Trenkwalder and drummer/backing vocalist Jan Haussels) are set to release their new album sometime in the Autumn of 2020, and tease interesting things to come with their latest single "Toxic Brother".

The onslaught of fuzzy guitars and echoed vocals, delivered among a frenetic, up-tempo barrage of stoner sludge-punk is as fun as it is exciting; the energy is real here and it'll easily appeal to fans of say, EXIT_INTERNATIONAL. The gradual fade-out of the track counters the increasing levels of insanity as you can hear the mental breakdown as it happens...this is a solid track.

Smiling Assassin - "National Pride"

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Returning to the UK now and more specifically; Hull, and we have a four-piece hardcore punk outfit by the name of SMILING ASSASSIN. Consisting of vocalist George Garnett, drummer Robbie Johnson, guitarist Josh Rogerson and bassist Casey Stead, they were forwarded to me by the wonderful folk over at Rage PR.

The new socio-political single "National Pride" is taken off the forthcoming album "Plight Of The Millennial" which is penciled for release on May 31st, and it combines all the vitriolic aggression of hardcore punk with the instrumental impatience of trash metal, easily taking influence from the likes of THE EXPLOITED or MUNICIPAL WASTE. It's an intense listen and suggests that the new album is going to be an absolute scorcher.

Hayden Brenen - "Mi Carino (feat. L.D.N.)"

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Now I'll start off by saying this...on initial listen, it's not as annoying as "Despacito"...but I'm not ruling it out overtime. It's another one of this Latino-inspired R'n'B/rap offerings that's meant to sound all smooth and sexy in the club, but I'd rather just sit in the corner with a warm bottle of Bacardi squeezing fresh lime directly into my eyeballs. 

L.D.N's contribution is fine and his rapping isn't bad, probably the most enjoyable aspect of this track in all fairness, but that doesn't really say much. Also, Mi Carino means My Sweety...creepy much. Your Nan singing this is she mate? Bomboclaat don't say shit like sweety fam ya get me? Real talk blud. I just lost the plot, literally watched it run off...

Calling All Astronauts - "Welcome To The Black Bloc"

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We round off this selection of tracks by coming full circle back to London, to find CALLING ALL ASTRONAUTS an their newest single "Welcome To The Black Bloc". The trio (Consisting of vocalist/programmer David B, guitarist JJ and bassist Paul "Buzzsaw McCrudden) mix elements of punk rock attitude and an electronic, almost light industrial tone for their sound, bridging the likes of PITCHSHIFTER, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE and MINISTRY for a no-nonsense blast of socio-political neo-dystopian noise.

The single is officially released on May 29th, with the new album, entitled "#Resist" dropping shortly after on June 5th, via Supersonic Media which I'm sure is going to an incredibly charged listen.
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Eurovision 2020: Nil Pois

18/5/2020

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Some of you may be thinking, Gav…how many reviews can you shoehorn references to Covid-19 into? Well…my friend, as it happens, as many as I want. You see while a lot of you are crying over 2020 festival season being buggered into next year, I’ve got my own agenda. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy festival experiences, but I am instead honestly quite reclusive, so one of the things I personally look forward to every year is the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.

Long-time readers will know I usually cover the show in some way shape or form, be it a run-down of finalists, covering past winner’s releases, or even just live-Tweeting the event…this year, I can’t enjoy this. This year I couldn’t look forward to sitting in front of my TV on the rare occasion I do, to watch Graham Norton sarcastically bury a plethora of countries. This year I couldn’t respectfully raise a glass of Bailey’s to Sir Terry Wogan during song 9, (Who am I kidding it’s a bottle of Jack). This year I couldn’t even get annoyed by the very political voting system I expect each and every fucking year as if it’s some shocking conspiracy. Covid-19 brought an end to all of that…and for that…I despise you, even though you’ve given me two months off work paid. 1st world problems, yes, but still. Alas…what I CAN do at least is channel my inner Jim Bowen, and have a look at who could have won, as Eurovision still at least released the 41-track CD of each countries entry. With that said…Good Evening Rotterdam! Open up, and let’s shine a light on the performers to see who gets 12 points….

​I’m going to preface this by stating that no I am NOT going to be analysing every one of the 41 entries as frankly I don’t even think lockdown is long enough for me to do that, but I will mull over my personal highlights, and as usual, the Eurovision double-album does things alphabetically, so we start with Albania. Their entry is “Fall From The Sky”, performed by ARILENA ARA and it’s one of two primary Eurovision tropes…heartfelt ballad, or fucking bonkers. This one falls into ballad category and as an opening track it’s a fairly safe one. The light piano allowing Arilena’s emotive, powerful vocals to really shine and there’s a dramatic intensity to this performance; a wonderful start. If you enjoyed that ballad however, hold on to that thought because you’re going to get sick of them over the next say, I don’t know… album? 
Armenia’s entry “Chains On You” by ATHENA MANOUKAIN tries to modernise things with some middle-eastern inspired trap and mumble rap…as far as the genre goes it’s fine, it’s the kind of thing you’d find Charlie Sloth spinning, but it’s not for me. Australia are still participating even though their initial anniversary guest spot was a few years ago now, and their entry “Don’t Break Me”, performed by MONTAIGNE is…another pop ballad. Granted the modern production and bold yet husky vocals find her somewhere between say, DUA LIPA and SIA in some ways, and it’s not bad. Onion Bhaji are up next…sorry, no, Azerbaijan are up next with “Cleopatra” performed by EFENDI and we get more middle-eastern / Egyptian musical influence, before leading into more Western pop stylistics…up until the part where they start summoning demons and shit…honestly that’s what it sounds like. Seriously, I thought my desk was going to start floating or my eyeballs were going to bleed!

Let’s see what else we have here…Belgium’s entry “Release Me” by HOOVERPHONIC in its own ways sounds like a BTEC version of BILLIE EILISH doing a Bond Theme…that’s the best and only way of describing that, you’re going to have to get way off of my back about that one. Skipping ahead now but keeping a colour scheme it’s Germany who have the next real highlight with the track “Violent Thing” by BEN DOLIC. Sadly the track is about as violent as two kittens having a pillow fight…I was expecting this year’s rock entry or something but we get another up-tempo pop offering. It’s got some brass elements and a bit of funk, and an impressive high note, resulting in quite a catchy little track, but it’s not what I was hoping for. Speaking of getting my hopes up, I ALWAYS look for Finland’s entry since LORDI won it in 2006, and this year, their entry “Looking Back” by AKSEL was…meh. It’s a pleasant indie-pop piece with ample melody, nothing like Lordi, or even SAARA AALTO from 2018; disappointing this one I’m afraid, you let me down Finland.
Next up, we have the United Kingdom…and as a Welshman, you might think I’m going to be biased here, that I’m going to sing praises to our entry as if they’re God’s gift to mainstream music…well I can assure you, that you are wrong. JAMES NEWMAN is our entry for this year with the track “My Last Breath” and I would sooner give up my last breath than have this song win the competition, despite it making things logistically easier for me to attend in 2021. Another copy and paste type of emotional male-led pop song akin to anyone from JAMES ARTHUR or SAM SMITH or any generic bollocks like that…it’s just so bloody boring! Georgia on the other hand, do somewhat peak my interest…”Take Me As I Am” by TORNIKE KIPIANI is, admittedly, lyrically fucking awful, let me make that clear, but the deep, electronic tinged moody indie tones easily mirror the styles and sounds of say, IMAGINE DRAGONS or AWOLATION etc, and this is arguably as dark as things get this year.

Skipping eagerly ahead now as we’re still only about half way here, we get Ireland and honestly…this would have been a contender for the competitions winner to break their own record, securing eight competition victories. “Story Of My Life” by LESLEY ROY gives off some serious KATY PERRY vibes…it’s a bouncy, light-hearted absolute banger of a pop anthem. Sure there’s repetition, a little instrumental monotony and some childish qualities but this is the kind of track you’d understand being all over commercial radio this Summer time…never mind the political voting, Covid-19 potentially robbed Ireland of this year’s win! Do they have any contenders however? Why in fact yes they do, and there is some STRONG competition from Iceland, and who some may say are favourites to win; DAðI FREYR with the song “Think About Things”. A synth-rich, full on disco-funk driven indie track…it is so simple in execution with the most basic of hooks, so much groove in so little effort, this is superb.
Jumping forward then we have THE ROOP with their entry “On Fire” for Lithuania…and it’s another basic pop track with pulsing electronic elements, dance-pop qualities with all of the synth laden hooks, it’s not as good as past winners such as MÅNS ZELMERLÖW for example but it’s along the same vein and personally I enjoy this, it’s arguably my favourite, despite some questionable vocals in places…and the video is as stated above; fucking bonkers. The rest of the album sadly doesn’t really throw up many particular highlights or memorable tracks, other than “Uno” by LITTLE BIG representing Russia. The “Skibidi” outfit had my attention going into the competition don’t get me wrong, but they’ve done better. Granted they’ve likely been heavily censored but still! SKIBIDI WA-PA-POW! The video does make me laugh mind…it’s all in the knees fam.

Romania come in with the track “Alcohol You” and I thought I was being offered a pint in broken English to be honest, so imagine my disappointment when ROXEN starts warbling her moody, sultry vocals…a slow, albeit grandiose track , though KORPIKLAANI drink better to be fair. Serbia rock up then with “Hasta La Vista” and the name alone has me hooked…have HURRICANE been sent from the future by Sky Net to secure Eurovision victory? In short…no…imagine someone installed LimeWire on the T-800 and the sheer amount of internet aids rendered it out of order. I’ll be very surprised if you’ll be back. Eventually then, and finally, we find ourselves at Ukraine, listening to “Solovey” by GO_A, and luckily, we conclude the album on an unorthodox yet enjoyable note. The traditional native tones of the vocal performance and woodwind elements coupled with a solid dance-pop aesthetic allow for a genuinely soothing and fun listen…I mean I haven’t got a fucking clue what they are saying but I like it!

After all of that, it really is heart-breaking to know that, given Eurovision’s six-decade legacy and tradition, none of the above entries will be able to represent their respective nations and try to put themselves in the history books. Granted some of these songs work better as a stage performance with character and gimmicks as opposed to straight up audio content, but that doesn’t detract what would have been an entertaining evening of live entertainment and multicultural acceptance of diversity. I know I rant and roast but I honestly enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest…I look forward to it every year, and hopefully it comes back all guns blazing in 2021. Where…who knows…no country has ever done two in a row from winning, so will Holland get to host again on a technicality? We can only wait and see…until then, Europe, you’re a beautiful bunch of bastards, for the record, I didn’t vote for Brexit I voted remain…and as far as Covid-19 goes…nil pois.
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Yerachmiel - "Off The Derech"

25/4/2020

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Dave Grohl is the most wholesome of rock stars, honestly he’s a good egg, and during these unprecedented times, we can all take a page out of the book of Grohl and channel the track “Times Like These”; we can learn to live again…we can learn to love again. Or (And I can’t stress this enough) not, as this next review goes to show that it’s also times like these where, I in fact regret diving into my email submissions. Honestly, you know the original music video for that very song where they are throwing a pile of shit off that bridge? I’d sooner yeet MYSELF off the bridge than listen to this next record…but I will try and be fair.

I’m all for firsts here…I’ve listened to and reviewed plenty of different genres in the past, everything from blackened death metal to K-pop…but never have I ever come across an album classified as ‘Jewish folk-pop’…until now. YERACHMIEL who was originally based in New York, recently moved to Israel where he has fully immersed himself in the culture and traditions of his religion and heritage, and he uses these influences and inspirations to fuel quite the prolific musical career it would seem! “Off The Derech” is his 6th studio album; a collection of 21 original songs which he’s asked me to check out. Truth be told I’d rather bath with my nan, but out of respect and I guess curiosity…let’s give this a whirl.

The album opens up with “Great To Be Alive” and having been on lock-down for five weeks now, this sentiment is already testing my patience. The track itself is admittedly a pleasant little dose of melodic soft-rock; the loose guitar play and light piano combine well to give off a certain late 80’s / early 90’s feel…you could maybe bracket it alongside the likes of JIMI JAMISON for example, but the levels of positivity here are borderline sickly. This positive energy is also incredibly abundant in the track “Temple”. It’s starts off as if it’s the intro theme to some cheesy 1970’s family sitcom, but it oozes its loving message of faith and togetherness to point where you feel like you’re watching Songs Of Praise trying to be edgy. I have my fingers on MY temples…and I require co-codamol.

One thing I will say for Yerachmiel mind is that he isn’t afraid to dabble in crossover genres…I mean the last thing you’ expect to find in an Israeli recording studio is reggaeton or ska, but that’s exactly what you find on “7th Wonder” and “Your Name Be Praise”.  The former is as though BOB MARLEY got so fucking high one day he woke up in the middle east, with its brass-based low-fi instrumentation, while the latter houses more of a subtle, indie-based core sound akin to say, UB40. It’s honestly an interesting mash-up I’ll give it that. True highlights however are sadly minimal and frankly hard to point out…”Earth Is Trembling” does have a solid, up-tempo, oompah rhythm which is both fun and energetic, despite it's damning opinion of mankind. “Tears In A Falling Rain” combines a soulful, funk aesthetic with the more traditionalist middle eastern percussion, while the string instrumentation on “Stay True” borders on country bluegrass.

It’s a confused album quite frankly, and over the course of the twenty one tracks here it’s as though he’s thrown whatever he could at the wall just to see what stuck, and to be honest  I don’t think he cared if something stuck or not. There is a lot going on here and we can all really respectfully say that, this track listing can do with a bit of a cull. I’m not suggesting we go all Nazi and wipe the album out entirely, that would be in poor taste even for me…but the album doesn’t need to be THIS long, especially with so many of the tracks already suffering from repetition. Off The Derech? I must be off my rocker to have believed I might enjoy this one, this really isn’t my cup of Wissotzky. [2]
PURCHASE / STREAM "OFF THE DERECH" HERE
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VV - "Gothica Fennica Vol.1" EP

25/3/2020

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​Back in 2017, the gothic rock community found itself in an official state of mourning. You might think, well, nothing fucking new by there? But, we had a legitimate excuse for our smudged eye liner. You see, everyone’s favourite romantic-rockers HIM, were officially no more. Yes following the departure of long-time drummer Mika Karppinen (Gas) and the appointment of Jukka Kröger (Kosmo), plus the fairly lukewarm reception of “Tears On Tape”…there were a lot of mixed feelings within the HIM camp…and a lot of uncertainty. Over this period, one thing eventually led to another, and after a series of farewell shows, the Heartagram had seemingly stopped beating. Tears were no longer merely on tape, they were on the cheeks of thousands of distraught fans across the globe…and it hurt.

Granted there were other projects that trickled out from certain members of the band…we got a fantastic 3rd installment from DANIEL LIONEYE courtesy of guitarist Mikko Lindström…as well as a couple of the guys forming FLAT EARTH, but it just wasn’t the same. What was Ville Valo up to? As the voice of HIM, he naturally carried the most intrigue, and while he did tease some activity with the release of the Finnish language single "Olet mun kaikuluotain", as well as reuniting with former collaborators THE AGENTS for some more traditional Finnish classics…he’s been incredibly quiet, almost suspiciously quiet…until now. On March 20th, 2020, Ville, under the new moniker of VV, surprised everyone by dropping three new tracks on an EP entitled “Gothica Fennica Vol.1”. With a modified Heartagram on the cover…was this what HIM fans had been craving for so long? Tissues at the ready folks, this might get emotional.

We get underway with ”Salute The Sanguine” and as the soft, near synthetic guitar melodies meander through your speakers, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed with, dear I say it…a foreboding sense of impending happiness. This is in its own right fitting as the delicate tones of not only the instrumentation but Ville’s voice hark back to albums such as “Screamworks…” and “Dark Light”; there’s a vulnerability to his voice that adds heaps of sentiment. Conceptually an interesting one, as sanguine is essentially a colour, or pigment used in a lot of centuries old artwork and self-portraits, resembling the shade of dried blood. It’s as if he’s looking back fondly on his career as if it had been dusted off having been locked away, appreciating the memories and what they gave him, with each scar a story, but knowing too that he isn’t the same man as before. This ties in nicely to the modified Heartagram…for like the music accompanying it; it’s a little HIM, but it isn’t, though it’s still beautiful.

Next up we have “Run Away From The Sun” and again here we’re immediately met with Ville’s gentle croon over more soft rock guitars and mellow acoustics. Another smooth and melodic offering, this is accessible as any of HIM’s lightest works as though Ville has embraced more of an indie-pop aesthetic, while retaining his core, lyrically melancholic writing style, allowing for those distinct HIM tropes. Speaking of, closing track “Saturnine Saturnalia” is the most HIM-sounding of the three tracks presented here and while not specifically raucous or rocking, it carries with it a distinct aura of hurt and emotional torment, mixing Ville’s honey coated vocals with a more sombre dose of doom and gothic stylistics. It’s got more prominent riff work and sounds like it could have come from one of the old “Venus Doom” demo sessions, fitting in with the likes of “Cyanide Sun” aesthetically, allowing for a deeper, ever so slightly darker listen.

If I may come across as selfish for a moment, sadly, these are the only three tracks presented here but while naturally wanting more, we have to be grateful of a couple of key things. To start, Ville is once again releasing music in any capacity, that’s the main thing, but the fact that the Heartagram has returned and his music is more akin to the styles and sounds of old is not only heart-warming, but brings with it hope. He’s clearly finding his feet again, and despite being only three tracks long, having been away for three years now, “Gothica…” is an effortlessly good start. The fact too that it’s merely volume one hints at more music down the line, and if these three tracks are anything to go by, we’re in for a fucking treat. Never mind the sanguine, Ville Valo, we salute you and welcome back sir! [10]
LINK TO ALL VV STREAMING AND MERCH OUTLETS
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3FORCE - "Divide & Collide"

16/2/2020

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If you cast your mind back to this past December, you may (Or may not) remember some of the albums I listed in my 2019 Top 20’s…some of which I reviewed here, others I may have reviewed for the likes of All About The Rock or, Astral Noize…but others I didn’t review at all. To be more specific, as well as my usual lists covering rock/metal, EP’s and my overall favourites, I’m always sure to cover my Top 20 Pop albums. I don’t really (Or at least very often) review pop music here, but I will listen to a lot of pop and keep track of what’s new as best I can. This brings us my number one pop album of 2019; “The Light” by SCANDROID, which ties in nicely with today’s review.

I’ve mentioned Scandroid, as well as Klayton’s other projects here on numerous occasions, as I’ve been lucky enough to have regular submissions from his record label FiXT, but while I very much enjoyed his most recent retro-pop endeavours, I haven’t showcased the label in some time now…but that’s about to change. Let me introduce you to 3FORCE. 3Force are an electronic/retrowave trio from St. Petersburg, Russia, and are one of a growing number of artists on the FiXT / FiXT Neon roster. Consisting of members Dmitry Gancher, Aleksey Ruin and Andrey Eyescream, they recently released their latest collection of tracks via the new album “Divide & Collide”. I’m just glad their name is in English…because fuck trying to pronounce три силы! Let’s check them out.

The album opens up with “Shape Shifter” and given the genre I’m immediately envisioning were-folk throwing down absurd shapes on a blinding neon dance floor, a la An American Werewolf In Paris. I digress; the track itself is a purely instrumental one…initially a slow starter, it gradually builds atmospheric synths not unlike the Stranger Things title screen, but soon comes to life; rich in pulsing electronica and regimented percussion…the 80’s aesthetic oozes from each and every keyboard note. A fine piece of music but no more than a glorified intro track ultimately…not that it stops Lycans shaking booty though.

Next up we have the first of the albums collaborations and it comes courtesy of Robin Adams on the track “Uprising”. The UK-based musician/vocalist provides a slightly rockier vibe to an otherwise GLITCH MOB sounding piece of electro/alt.-pop, but it works very well. It houses certain funk elements in places and the former CELLDWELLER collaborator allows the track to explore a plethora of avenues. Robin shows up again on “Guardian Angel” but here, musically at least it’s not as intense, his grating vocals giving the more subdued track its character. Fellow FiXT label-mates RAIZER join proceedings on the track “Lost & Found” and we’re given a lighter, more melodic mix, allowing for a more pop-based retro style…while Scandroid themselves get in on the action on the track “Abyss”. As distinct as the resulting sound is, and as enjoyable as it is…it suffers with a pretty repetitive and unimaginative chorus that brings an otherwise enjoyable track down.

Surprisingly though, a lot of the albums highlights do come courtesy of instrumental offerings which speaks volumes of the quality of sound 3Force have managed to recapture. “Future Frame” in particular perfectly bridging that gap between throwback techno and modern dance-pop, it’s like something Creamfields would belt out at 2am to a throng of ketamine fuelled cretins…in a good way,  while “Outcome Theory”, “Insect” and later on “Celestial Squad” reinforce the strength of the album as a whole. A lot of artists have been capitalising on this retro trend in recent years, riding a wave of nostalgia celebrating that throwback, 80’s aesthetic, and 3Force are no different, but they manage to retain a crisp, fresh sound as opposed to sounding recycled. That said FiXT have a solid track record with cherry picking quality electronic artists, and these Russians bolster an already impressive roster on the back of this album, which has more killer hooks than Ivan Drago. A recommended listen comrade… [7]
FIXTSTORE.COM/COLLECTIONS/3FORCE
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Secret Treehouse - "The Big Rewind"

11/1/2020

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As it’s now 2020, my New Year’s resolution is to focus a lot more on email submissions from bands and record labels/PR companies, when it comes to my review content on this little blog. I’m not for one minute suggesting I’m going to actually succeed in this…remember that scene from Bruce Almighty when Jim Carey is bombarded with prayers? That’s pretty much me as I attempt to juggle listening time, writing time, working full time and, oh yeah, occasionally 3, maybe 4 hours sleep if I’m lucky…nevertheless, I continue.

Today’s review is the beginning of my resolution, but we do have to go all the way back to DECEMBER 2018…I mean I had to get Time Team to dig this one out! Let me explain. Yes on December 4th, 2018, I received an email from a Norwegian pop group by the name of SECRET TREEHOUSE, who were typically doing their rounds, promoting their upcoming single “Fear Of Frogs”, which was to be taken off of their debut album “The Big Rewind”. Now as you’re aware I don’t generally review singles, so, I thought I’d save the email and keep checking back and forth over the coming weeks, awaiting the album. A couple of weeks did pass…nothing…a couple of months then passed yet still I found no album, the Secret Treehouse really were keeping this album a fucking secret! Fast forward to December 2019 however, and while I’m going over my end of year lists and clearing out some emails ready to start afresh, I stumble upon that saved email, having completely forgotten by this point and after a quick look, I discover they have in fact FINALLY released that bloody album! With that said, and regardless of how out-dated this review now actually is, here are my thoughts on the frankly ironically titled “The Big Rewind”.

The album opens up with that initial single “Fear Of Frogs” and to be fair it starts things off really quite promisingly. A song about the fear of unintentionally misleading someone in love, it gives off a rich 80’s synth-pop vibe with some incredibly catchy melodies, over Anja Bere’s velvety smooth vocals. In certain ways it combines the likes of OF MONSTERS AND MEN with ROBYN and THE CRANBERRIES, resulting in really quite a pleasant track. The same can be said for “Too Young” which also houses more of this pulsing electronic style although it isn’t quite as up-beat.

A lot of the record combines elements of indie, with a more shoegaze pop aesthetic, resulting a very easy listening album overall…”Wrong Hands” is a really chilled ambient piece of indie that slowly builds to some wonderfully emotive guitar, getting better and better as it winds up to its gentle crescendo. The title track manages to sound soft yet simultaneously bold, being able to pull off the sort of radio ballad COLDPLAY would churn out, while more recent single “Do You Remember” has a more lulling tone, in places giving off an almost subtle LOU REED vibe, before closing track “Hero” rounds things up with a delicate little acoustic piece, emphasising the sweetness of Anja’s hushed vocal notes.

The question I have to ask myself is, considering I was made aware of this album back in 2018…was it actually worth waiting until 2020 to review it? To a degree, no…but that’s not a direct knock on this record. Fans of this sort of dreamy pop soundscape will appreciate the tenderness and tranquility that makes up the bulk of this record, despite the initial single suggesting a far more up-tempo, retro-pop direction. It’s not a bad album by any means, and what Secret Treehouse do they do well, but it’s hardly The Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror. With their second album due to drop sometime in 2020, maybe I’ll get around to reviewing it in around two years or so…somebody remind me though yeah? [5]
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/SECRETTREEHOUSEMUSIC
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GTGC 2019: A Year In Review

30/12/2019

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2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 EP's Of 2019

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

GavTheGothicChav: Top 20 Pop Albums Of 2019

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

GavTheGothicChav; Top 20 Metal Albums Of 2019

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

GavTheGothicChav: The Best Of 2019

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5
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The Maine - "You Are OK"

28/8/2019

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We live in a world where everything seems to be, well, for want of a better word; fucked. The USA is, in many cases, devolving rapidly as a country socio-politically when it comes to human rights. Between deportation issues, police brutality and abortion debates; it’s becoming less ‘united’ by the day. Speaking of the US, mass shootings! Popular as ever apparently! We’ve got Boris Johnson this side of the pond, who, for all intents and purposes is like, an Everyday Value version of Donald Trump, despite his privileged upbringing, and he’s attempting to questionably force the country through a geo-political trade clusterfuck. The Amazon rainforest is STILL on fire, which is far more important than Notre Dame burning but hey, it’s only trees so that’s fine I’m guessing? It’s not like we need to, you know, breathe? People continue to watch Love Island, reaffirming the rise in mental health issues and for some reason, McDonald’s named their new burger the “Double Quarter Pounder”…guys…I don’t know if you noticed…but two quarters makes a half? It’s…it’s literally a half pounder. I thought it was just failed students that worked there who need to whip their dick out just to count to eleven, turns out their marketing team struggle with maths too! Alas, when we’re faced with all of this…we need a beacon of hope, and a message of reassurance and positivity…and that’s where THE MAINE come in with their new album “You Are OK”.

The Arizona-based alt. pop-rockers have been around since 2007 and have built themselves a loyal following over the years. After early tours supporting the likes of GOOD CHARLOTTE and THE ACADEMY IS…, 2019 welcomes them back with their 7th studio album, to remind everyone one that, while there’s a lot going tits up in the world, you’re doing alright. So without further ado let’s cast out any negativity and realise that we are indeed OK. The album opens up with a touch of macabre courtesy of “Slip The Noose” and it’s about a special encounter, leading to salvation and safety. That special someone that manages to let you see and think clearly, preventing you from doing something you’ll regret is so invaluable in life, and it’s delivered with an up-beat dose of happy-go-lucky indie-pop. It’s got some light riffs, some strings and some solid drum fills, yet manages to retain a sort of, MARK OWEN pop-vibe vocally.

“Numb Without You” lyrically highlights a juxtaposition of feelings and emotions that all flourish at once during a relationship; both negative and positive…and like marriage vows typically state, “For better or worse”, it means life and love will have up’s and down’s, but it’s testament to your character how you overcome the worst bits to flourish in the best, and this track champions that very mind set. With more string accompaniment, we’re given a sweeping emo-inspired pop anthem with soaring gang vocals and it’s got an impassioned chorus. Album highlight “Heaven, We’re Already There” takes that formula and refines it to deliver a much more intense, hook-laden synth-tinged, emo-rock banger that, in places reminds of KIDS IN GLASS HOUSES during the chorus and it’s an absolute belter of a track this, really well done.

Elsewhere, “One Sunset” with its energetic, tinny guitar tone and gradual build to a beaming chorus makes it impossible to not tap your foot and bob your head along to this, another fun, bubbly track, while “Tears Won’t Cry” retains that guitar tone and has certain, modern boy band charm akin to artists such as THE VAMPS or the like. “Flowers On The Grave” does allow for a bit of a come-down however ,with a 9-minute-plus acoustic driven pop ballad with some lulling piano…it DOES liven up courtesy of some rockier sequences and progressions, but overall the track ebbs and flows between sounding highly animated and anti-climactic at the same time. Despite this, the album as a whole just oozes a positive, enthusing simplicity resulting a genuinely easy-listening feel-good record. Like I mentioned earlier, the world is on its arse at the moment, and times are testing…but you need to be reminded that you’ve got this…you’re doing alright…you ARE OK. Unless you voted Conservative…you’re not OK…fuck you. [7]
WWW.THEMAINEBAND.COM
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Yonaka - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow"

15/7/2019

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As hard as it may be to believe (Given some of the shit I come out with in these reviews) I do from time to time come across a new band that I actually, genuinely like. I mean it’s rare…not quite Shiny Pokemon rare…but it’s rare, and it does happen. While in recent years you may have seen me give praise to the likes of WE ARE HARLOT and AS LIONS for their absolutely scorching debuts…last year my attention was turned to YONAKA. Having discovered them supporting ANDREW WK, I was eager to check out their catalogue of music as they were legitimately great live, to then find myself enjoying their 2017 “Heavy” EP, it’s safe to say that Yonaka were a band I was prepared to keep my eye on…

This was a decision I would certainly not regret, as following some impressive festival appearances and support slots with BRING ME THE HORIZON no less, they dropped arguably my favourite new EP of 2018 by the name of “Creature”. It’s said that lightning doesn’t strike twice but the EP proved that the band were on a fine run of creative form, not only matching their previous work but surpassing it, visibly and audibly growing in confidence with each and every crowd they won over on the road throughout the year. Now, in 2019, we find the band ready to step up; hoping to live up to their own hype and expectation, as they deliver their debut full-length album; “Don’t Wait ‘Til Tomorrow”, and it’s definitely one I’ve been looking forward to. Well? You read the title let’s give it a fucking listen shall we!?

We open up with “Bad Company” though we’re in anything BUT with Theresa Jarvis and the lads…starting off with some bass rumblings and stiff percussion, it provides perfect backing for Jarvis’ multifaceted vocal approach, switching from brooding to powerful; almost angelic in places on certain high notes, with such relative ease. There’s a certain darkness to the tracks tone, yet it’s got a rich alt. pop groove, and we still hear similarities with the likes of JESSIE J and FLORENCE WELCH in its delivery, but everything’s tighter, sharper and it sounds great…a fantastic opener. “Awake” begins in a similar fashion with its stripped back percussion the only instrumental accompaniment to Theresa, but the track quickly erupts into a wonderfully infectious pop-rock number with some assertive riffs and more powerful vocals. If you’re not awake for this one I question the existence of your very pulse, seriously.

“Rockstar” is, before you wonder, not a NICKELBACK cover so it’s already got that going for it. I mean OK, the premise of the track lyrically garners obvious comparisons to the aforementioned, but this is backed up by yet another infectious, hook-laden chorus and is far, FAR less annoying. This comes across as more about hopes and dreams as opposed to focusing on wealth, not emphasising the excess; much more of a rags to riches ‘What If?’ scenario and it’s something we can relate to…it’s something we’ve all thought about. “Creature” and “Fired Up” make it to the album as select cuts from the bands previous EP’s but they slot in perfectly in all fairness, sounding just as crisp and impressive here as they did last year, before we eventually finish up on “The Cure”. Despite its initially almost trap-inspired beat, we’re treated to more of the bands enjoyable blend of light indie rock, sweeping melodies and soulful pop, ending the album on a genuine high note.

Patience may indeed be a virtue, but here Yonaka prove without doubt that sometimes you simply have to strike while the iron is hot, and Christ has the iron been hot for the Brighton-based quartet. As they continue to play new towns and cities around the UK and Europe, be it in a supporting role or with their ever increasing likelihood of headlining their own big tours, Yonaka can and will grow. One of the brightest and most promising bands on the UK circuit right now, if you haven’t already, you NEED to be checking out Yonaka for yourself, seriously, don’t wait ‘til tomorrow. [9]
WWW.WEAREYONAKA.COM
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Hawthorn Avenue - "Wildfire" EP

18/6/2019

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“I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do…and for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'” – Bob Newhart. All jokes aside, country music isn’t something we hear a lot of in the UK, and by a lot of I mean, virtually any; it’s just not a thing. We’ve got plenty of talented singer/songwriters, but country music to us is a very American thing…a very, cowboy hat wearing, moonshine drinking, horse-riding, rootin’ tootin’ arguably inbred (If you’re down South at least) American thing.

That’s not to say that it’s all bad however, no sirree, as I’m sure everyone can agree that the likes of JOHNNY CASH and TAMMY WYNETTE are iconic performers, and they, like so many others helped take country music off of the front porch into packed out concert halls across the states. Although, while the UK doesn’t have a flourishing country scene, we do have artists that take influence from the genre and that leads us into today’s review; let me introduce you to HAWTHORN AVENUE.

The duo from Neath (Consisting of Marcus Gumms and Laura Benjamin) initially met in 2015 while both playing the South Wales live circuit and immediately gravitated toward each other creatively, starting out at jam nights where they found their feet in terms of collaborating. Laura, a multi-instrumentalist grew up loving music from a young age and looks up to the likes of TAYLOR SWIFT and CARRIE UNDERWOOD, while Marcus admits he just saw some guy on Stars In Their Eyes doing Johnny Cash and thought to himself ‘That’s what I’m going to do’…and he did! The duo have recently released their debut EP entitled “Wildfire” and have asked me to check it out…I guess it’s time to saddle up…

The EP opens up with “Raised Me Better” and it combines subtle organ notes with soft country blues and a crisp pop aesthetic…with its vocal harmonies, powerful key-changes yet an easy-listening approach, it delivers a wonderfully smooth, simplistic country-pop number. Hick-pop if you will. The songs message of restraint and composure allows for a positive outlook and sets a good example; be the better person, and it’s really quite lovely; a good start this. “Fade Away” strips things right back to a gently plucked acoustic-driven piece with subtle nods to a Native American woodwind influence. It’s a hushed, mellow little track with an emotive delivery, though picks up ever so slightly over time, incorporating more electric guitar and growing in volume and intensity, yet manages to stay restrained.

“The Water’s Edge” follows in the same vein with another sombre country ballad; with its sweet, delicate acoustics and silky vocal harmonies…it’s a quaint little track but out of the four presented here, it’s arguably the weakest of the bunch, though you can appreciate its tenderness. We do however finish on a strong note and the EP’s title track is a clear EP highlight in every sense of the term. “Wildfire” returns to a more up-beat presentation blending their love of country stylistics with a more modern indie-pop tone and the resulting track is full of sass, swagger and rhythm. The tinny guitar, dual vocal harmonies and a fantastically hook-laden, melodic chorus means this song is impossible to not enjoy, and it bookends this EP perfectly. Country may not be all too lucrative within the UK market, but here Hawthorn Avenue prove that you can utilise that distinct country style to great effect when blended in with a more modern, pop-oriented sound. After listening to this, I really hope this wildfire spreads…god that sounds terrible doesn’t it…[8]

SPECIAL OFFER: Hawthorn Avenue will be playing a live show on August 14th at CLWB IFOR BACH in Cardiff, and if you want to catch them live, order your ticket from the link below, using the special link below, with the promotional code GAVIN10 and you’ll save yourself 10% on the ticket price! What are you waiting for!
APPLY GAVIN10 TO GET 10% OFF YOUR TICKET HERE
WWW.HAWTHORN-AVENUE.COM
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Set It Off - "Midnight"

14/4/2019

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Do you wanna be in my gang? It’s my gang, yes that’s right, mine…my gang. I’m the leader of my gang, I am! OK, OK…I’m not REALLY GARY GLITTER, but if I may I would like to touch upon the subject of sexual abuse in music…maybe touch upon was a poorly chosen expression…although I DID ask…you gave consent…right? I digress…I’m facing a backlash before I even get to my point…and that’s not a reference to my penis…FOR FUCK SAKE GAV STOP!

Start again…sexual abuse, or even the accusations of sexual misconduct, whether found to be guilty or not will not only potentially ruin a person’s career but also ruin several lives. The sad thing is it’s a far more common occurrence in music than virtually anybody would care to accept as happenstance. On one end of the spectrum, you’ve got Ian Watkins and let’s be fair, the less said about him the better…don’t get me wrong I fucking miss LOSTPROPHETS but…no, just no. Then there’s cases surrounding the likes of WILLIAM CONTROL, and despite the shit storm surrounding him, all I can gather is that at worst he’s just a terrible husband and a serial cheater. It doesn’t matter if those girls gave consent mate, you still destroyed your own marriage, just hope you had a decent prenuptial in place!

Then we come to the likes of Austin Kerr…the former SET IT OFF bassist was another name to be subjected to allegations and accusations of sexual misconduct and as a result he was ejected from the band back in 2015. Was he guilty? He admits his behaviour wasn’t 100% acceptable, but denies any abhorrently wrong doing…so that’s up in the air…HOWEVER…what would this mean for Set It Off? Despite the negative press they continued to make music without him...but, the question is what did it do for their reputation? They HAVE gone backwards in the Billboard charts, but is that in correlation to all of the trouble surrounding Kerr, or have they simply just dropped a below-par album? Let’s find out as we check out their newest offering “Midnight”…

The album opens up with “Killer In The Mirror” and you can’t help but wonder if this is a confession or they’ve just been reading the newspaper…a song of apparent reflection, it speaks of solitude and the acceptance of circumstances…music is a cut-throat business and you have to take a look at yourself first and foremost. You have to look yourself in the eye and tell yourself you want this, because there are people trying to put you down; this is an unforgiving business and it’s kill or be killed, as much as we’d like to think otherwise. This industry will eat you up as soon as you put a foot wrong, and this song touches upon not only that dog-eat-dog world but in ways mirrors the situation with Kerr. The fuzzy guitar tones, along with the subtle hip-hop/reggaeton inspired instrumentation provide a solid groove and it’s ultimately a fine opening track.

Sadly, the remaining fourteen tracks…that’s’ right, fourteen…really don’t offer a great deal of diversity throughout the record. “Lonely Dance”, aside from being something you’d expect someone who plays Fortnite to do, may harbour certain Latino / Hispanic qualities with its guitar tone and backing brass segments but it’s pretty generic alternative pop-rock. “Go To Bed Angry” may sound like optimum wanking circumstances but it’s still just another dose of harmless pop…granted the additional vocals from WAYFARERS add an extra dynamic but it’s a only minor improvement, and that generally sums up the album as a whole.

“Dancing With The Devil” may utilise deeper vocal effects but that’s really all they are, effects…musically we’re in the same boat; the vocals may be deeper but the track is still shallow. “For You Forever” does have some catchy throwback 80’s synth-pop vibes and provides an album highlight aesthetically but it’ll take more than neon to light this album up. “Raise No Fool” does an amuse with it’s ironic ending…lyrically stating “Won’t let you leave me hanging” but then cuts the song abruptly short, leaving the listener hanging themselves…I see what you did there you edgy bunch of bastards! The only REAL change comes in the form of “Unopened Windows” which is sadly the most boring of the tracks on offer here…the piano ballad coming so late on it’s on the verge of being anti-climactic.

Overall while I’ve been quite sarcastic here the album isn’t completely AWFUL by any means…the innocent charm of the pop-inspired melodies is hardly offensive and it’s a generally easy listening record. It’s all mixed and produced well and has a ton of commercial viability…what’s annoying is that over fifteen tracks, there’s very little if anything to differentiate at least fourteen of them and they all blend into one quotidian collection of songs. Nothing truly positive stands out here and it’s a shame because they can clearly write a tune or two, it’s just that on this instance they all more or less sound the same, and by the same what I really mean is the same as FALL OUT BOY because fuck me does this album wish it was a FOB album…but that’s a whole new kettle of fish. Midnight? Goodnight… [4]
​
WWW.SETITOFFBAND.COM
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    Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x

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