GavTheGothicChav: Worst Albums Of 2016
While the legend, the legacy and the relevance of THE ROLLING STONES cannot be questioned...(a career spanning over 50 years, Grammy awards, MTV awards, number 1 albums, Glastonbury headliners etc etc) we can't forget that these once sprightly lads from London are getting on a bit now. With a combined age crawling towards the 300 mark, how long will it be before these stones wither to dust? In an age where the likes of BLACK SABBATH and AEROSMITH are calling time...in all honesty, the stones should too, before they end up dying on stage. The best of a bad bunch, "Blue & Lonesome" really should be their last record...
If you know me personally you'll know I have a soft spot for Finnish bands...so when I was made aware of SHIRAZ LANE, I got a little excited. An old school rock 'n' roll band, they have wine in their name, surely, I was on to a winner? No. Now ok, musically they are very enjoyable, the classic solo's, the swagger, the rhythm...it's all good, but vocally? My god. Take the most painful ear-piercing shrieks from any discarded track by THE DARKNESS or AC/DC and completely fill an album with them. For crying out loud Hannes Kett barely lets up with the ear raping on this one. Shiraz Lane? You'll need about a bottle per track to put up with this one...
It's been a long time since this young lady from Barbados hit the scene with "Pon De Replay"...in the years since, she's become one of the biggest selling pop stars on the planet...we're talking millions of sales under her belt (when she's actually wearing something that is). She's prone to churning out massive radio hits; "Umbrella", "S&M" and "Diamonds" prove this, but the new album, despite scoring points for experimentation, lacks any real noteworthy tunes. Also, for the record..."Work" is annoying as FUCK. She sounds off her face let's be honest...
One of lifes anomalies...why people actually like DEFTONES. Who knows? I sure as hell don't! This year they released an album called "Gore" to much hype and excitement...an album called gore covered in fucking flamingo's...what? Questionable cover art aside, Deftones have to be one of the most miserable, depressing alternative rock acts out there; they often sound sluggish or like they are bored of their own playing, Chino Moreno sounds half asleep 80% of the time, the other 20% he just warbles...probably one of the most over-rated bands of 2016 if not ever...
2016 has been the victim of many, many injustices...DAVID BOWIE...Donald Trump...Harambe...even Toblerone's were ruined...but what stands out as truly remarkable, in a year of mind-numbingly unfathomable stupidity, poor judgement and heartache, for ALL of the wrong reasons...was the release of "Angelic 2 The Core" by COREY FELDMAN. The actor turned "singer" channelled his inner MICHAEL JACKSON and embarrassed his way through not one but TWO disks worth of album...an album not even SNOOP DOGG or FRED DURST could save. This is officially the worst case of attempted career suicide on record...we're talking worse than GERI HALLIWELL's comeback...avoid...avoid like the plague.
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Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're a singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x