WWE: Crown Jewel (02/11/18)

Back in April of this year, the WWE began a business and cultural partnership with the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, announcing a 10-year deal with the Saudi Sports Authority, with the aim of helping to develop the nation culturally over that period of ten years. That's all fine and dandy you may think, but while the nation itself is indeed incredibly wealthy, they remain just a LITTLE BIT behind socially, and by that I mean their strict laws and views on women doing, well, practically anything. When WWE put on it's GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE PPV in April, as historical as the event was, it was marred by the fact that NONE of it's female Superstars were allowed to compete under Arabian law, and in this day and age, for a company so supposedly invested in pushing and celebrating it's women's division, it was seen as more than a little hypocritical. The fact that the WWE are getting around $45million for the show is all well and good, but it does seemingly put money before morals. As part of this continued deal, WWE scheduled a return to Saudi Arabia on November 2nd with their new World Cup tournament to determine "The Best In The World" (Something you will eventually get sick of hearing) at the new PPV CROWN JEWEL...but it faced severe backlash amidst some unavoidable controversy.

On October 2nd, Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi (Himself a controversial figure in the eyes of Saudi's hierarchy) entered a Turkish consulate in Istanbul to obtain divorce papers, so he could re-marry with his new Turkish partner...he never returned. After weeks of speculation and uncertainty, it had emerged that Khashoggi had been killed and the reports were diverse, but what is now seemingly very apparent, though without definitive proof, is that he had been murdered at the hands of Saudi authorities, with some reporting that it was incredibly gruesome and barbaric, going as far as involving dismemberment. The eyes of the world were now on Saudi Arabia for all the wrong reasons as answers were demanded, as many Western organisations and industries cut ties with the nation...this brings us to WWE. Being a publicly traded company on the stock market, they have an image to uphold and a business model to run, so it's fair to say that they were under pressure to pull out of their heavily advertised second Saudi show in the midst of all the controversy. Hahahahaha, is what I say, as we all know VINCE MCMAHON is ALL about them Benjamin Franklin's and despite everything that had gone on, Vince decided that Crown Jewel would go ahead as planned. It didn't go 100% smoothly however, as two of WWE's biggest stars (JOHN CENA and DANIEL BRYAN) pulled out of the event, and they had to awkwardly change plans with short notice...BUT...the show must go on, and this, is what went down at WWE Crown Jewel.

(Pre-Show) SHINSUKE NAKAMURA def. RUSEV: U.S Title Match

As is tradition with virtually every WWE event these days, there's a pre-show broadcast with a warm up match and commentary segments, running through the match card with predictions etc. etc., and the match here is nothing short of a damn shame. Two of the hottest in-ring talents WWE has to offer right now; SHINSUKE NAKAMURA and RUSEV have been CRIMINALLY underused for the most part of this year, Rusev actually arguably longer. Starting with Shinsuke, one of the most naturally gifted and charismatic stars they have on their roster; former NXT Champion and 2018 ROYAL RUMBLE winner, he's current defending United States Champion...but he's done NOTHING since winning the title. He's had practically zero presence on SMACKDOWN LIVE since, bar a handful of nothing matches, with many questioning why he's being so underused. Rusev on the other hand hasn't had any note worthy victories or held any Championships, but his "Rusev Day" gimmick with former ally AIDEN ENGLISH was SO organically over! The crowd loved him! What to WWE do with that? Do they capitalise on it? No...they ignore it completely and let something as naturally hot as his gimmick to run completely out of steam. The fact that these two are resigned to the pre-show is actually pretty insulting to them both. The match itself was nothing special, Shinsuke has all of his unique in-ring offense but at one point it looked like a shock victory for Rusev was on the cards as he locked in the Accolade. Shinsuke looked like he was on the verge of tapping-out but he manged to escape, but what followed was a subtle continuation of Shinsuke's heelish character, as he "accidentally" low-blowed Rusev with a headbutt, deceiving the referee in the process, in which he took advatntage off and finished the match off with a Kinshasa for the 3-count. If this leads to a TV feud between the two, that's OK I guess, but still, what a damn shame this is here. [1/5]

(Main Show Opening) REY MYSTERIO def. RANDY ORTON

Coming back to the idea of controversy, yes, there's still room for more believe it or not, despite all of the serious issues surrounding Khashoggi, despite the fact the women's division is still prohibited from competing at these events (Although the only silver lining here is RENEE YOUNG, an actual real woman, has been allowed on commentary, progress is beautiful isn't it?) the WWE still manage to make things ridiculous by having fucking HULK HOGAN open the show! Having only recently been allowed back into the WWE following racial slurs he made on a leaked sex tape (Let that sink in for a second), Hogan, regardless of his legendary status, is now an incredibly divisive figure. The crowd do pop massively mind you when his music hits and everything goes red and yellow for his entrance...he delivers a typical Hulk Hogan promo to officially start Crown Jewel (Note that he never once utters the words Saudi Arabia), does a bit of classic Hogan crowd-work, posing with his admittedly still-impressive pythons and leaves. Literally, you won't see him again now, that's it. The opening match then officially kicks off the World Cup tournament, to determine the best in the world, and we see REY MYSTERIO facing off against RANDY ORTON. Here, ring announcer Greg Hamilton starts what will soon become the incredibly annoying task of listing off every competitors accomplishments, really it gets tiresome, before Rey has a video package stating that this tournament was one of the main reasons he returned to WWE...sure it was Rey, sure it was. The match itself was a pretty standard affair, pitting strength against speed, with a few notable highlights including a perfectly timed standing drop-kick from Orton, incredibly executed. He paced the match well, taking advantage of the heat he was generating as the heel, lapping up the crowd booing. At one point cleverly reversing Rey's 619 into hit patented middle rope DDT, he looked in total control, but it was Rey who'd take the victory with a surprise roll-up pin to advance to the next round. A pretty straightforward match, with most of the story coming from the beat-down Orton gave Rey after losing, which would play into the night. [2/5]

THE MIZ def. JEFF HARDY

Second match and we have the 2nd SmackDown Live quarter final, pitting THE MIZ against JEFF HARDY. Jeff's video promo refers to him vanquishing his demons, which many people will associate his history of drug problems (TNA Victory Road Anyone?) while The Miz is in his usual heelish persona. Initially we find Miz going for a quick win with an early Skull-Crushing Finale attempt, and he has a lot of the match, parodying the trademark Daniel Bryan running corner dropkicks, but Jeff does have his hope spots. He hits a diving clothesline off of the crowd barrier and delivers a trademark Whisper In The Wind, although he connects poorly, even reversing Miz' Figure-4 into a roll-up, but after avoiding a Swanton, The Miz manages to drive Jeff face first into a turnbuckle leading into a pin. He WOULD have had the three count here had it not been for the referee noticing Miz used the bottom rope for leverage, so broke up the pin. Miz being the classic heel thought he'd won but the referee continued the match, everyone thought Jeff would take advantage here and he fully intended to, going straight for the Twist Of Fate, but Miz reversed it into a Skull-Crushing Finale and to everyone's surprise picked up a clean pin for the victory. A decent TV match, but nothing more sadly and this set up the tone for the night as a whole. [2/5]

SETH ROLLINS def. BOBBY LASHLEY

Next up we had the first of the RAW quarter finals and we find Intercontinental Champion, and one half of the Raw Tag Team Champions SETH ROLLINS square off against a late addition to the tournament, BOBBY LASHLEY. Initially the spot was intended for JOHN CENA, however as he pulled out of the show, Bobby was inserted in his place by acting Raw General Manager BARON CORBIN (Which was a questionable choice on a number of levels). Seth entered the arena to a massive crowd pop as everyone screamed "Burn It Down", while Bobby himself even had a mention for being former ECW Champion which was unusual, as that tends to be buried these days. Bobby had some impressive offence here including a brutal looking improvised Choke Slam to prevent a Seth Suicide Dive, and his trademark delayed vertical Suplex which Seth managed to reverse, but Seth's agility and determination shone through in the end and despite selling his neck injuries, he managed to hit Bobby with a Curb Stomp for a surprisingly quick win. A lot of this match was overshadowed by the commentary team focusing on Seth's ongoing issues with tag partner DEAN AMBROSE after he turned his back on Seth, moments after winning the tag titles on RAW. COREY GRAVES slips up too by getting his days mixed up, momentarily thinking this PPV was on a Sunday night as opposed to the Friday, stating RAW being live the following night, which is rare from him. Despite that small chuckle it was another average at best match up. [2/5]

DOPLH ZIGGLER def. KURT ANGLE

This match was questionable before we even begin. KURT ANGLE is one of the greatest to ever be part of the WWE and he is forever a fan favourite, but of late, he's sadly become a little bit of a joke thanks to how WWE have used/handled him. Despite all of this it's still nice to see him and even the Arabian crowd are getting into the spirit of the occasion chanting "You Suck" along with his entrance theme, as is tradition now. The match itself starts of diversifying slightly as we're telling the story of their college wrestling backgrounds and a lot of the opening section of this bout is toe-to-toe mat wrestling. Kurt does his best Brock impression by hitting DOLPH ZIGGLER with a series of German Suplex's, even attempting to hit one to the outside off the apron, however Dolph manages to whip him into to steel ring steps to turn the tables. There are some decent near-falls and Dolph does his usual dramatic selling, even managing to kick out of an Angle Slam and surviving a grueling Ankle Lock after Kurt takes his straps down to get serious. The Arab's must have loved him shouting "Son of a bitch!" haha! Eventually though Kurt slips up, running into the ring post allowing Dolph to deliver a Zig-Zag to pick up a clean win over the genuine Olympic Gold Medalist. Kurt is out already and it further proves that WWE are wasting Kurt's appearances as let's face it, he doesn't have too many left. If this had been to a new, up-and-coming prospect star then sure, give him the rub, but this is Dolph and it's just another shame quite frankly. [3/5]

SmackDown Tag Team Championship: THE BAR def. THE NEW DAY

With the quarter final's now out of the way and the tournament brackets now giving people more of an idea of how the World Cup to determine the best in the world might pan out, it's time to put some more gold up for grabs as it's time for the SmackDown Live Tag Team Championship match. THE NEW DAY enter first and BIG E does his usual introduction, again, there's no mention of Saudi Arabia however, which is fine, given the circumstances...but what is questionable, is New Day's entrance. Far be it from me to assume Vince is OK with the idea of racial or cultural stereotyping, but New Day make their way to the ring on a fucking MAGIC CARPET! OK, OK, it's not real, it's a pimped up cherry-picker, but still! I digress, their opponents THE BAR, aka SHEAMUS and CESARO make their way to the ring with THE BIG SHOW now in tow, and here you realise that their entrance music now just sounds like that annoying friend who keeps skipping songs on Spotify. Seriously, someone needs to make them a proper theme now instead of mashing THREE pieces together, it's honestly a mess. The match itself was fine; Big E was looking for payback very early on with some ruthless offence, seeing as it was him that took the pin allowing The Bar to win the Championship last time they squared off, and KOFI KINGSTON was impressive with his aerial offence as per usual, but The Bar worked great heel tag tactics, cutting the ring in half and not allowing New Day to get any momentum. There was some decent double teaming going on including an impressive projected Suplex effort by The Bar, and New Day did get their hope spots with a flurry of Belly-To-Belly's from Big E, but it would ultimately come down to a distraction finish. The referee, while trying to avoid a collision missed Big Show getting involved hitting Big E with a KO Punch, allowing Sheamus to plant a Brogue Kick. He went for the pin, got the 3-count and The Bar retained their titles. Again, a fine tag-match that'll probably continue on through SmackDown over the next week or two until they find Big Show something to actually do. [3/5]

THE MIZ def. REY MYSTERIO

It's semi-final time and to kick this round of the tournament off we have The Miz taking on Rey Mysterio to book SmackDown's place in the final. With probably the best piece of continuation regarding the tournament story, Rey was again billed as the underdog following his beat down at the hands of Randy Orton earlier in the night, but he made the point of saying there were no excuses, he's here to prove he's the best in the world and will fight through any injuries and obstacles...The Miz was selling his own injury, although it was more of a sore throat than anything, but Corey Graves put this over well on commentary with his heelish attitude. The match started with some decent chain wrestling and again had one or two highlights, including the Arab audience getting quite invested and excited in a generic Top Turnbuckle 10-punch, but in the end this fell into becoming just another standard TV type affair, with no major plot points. Rey connects a 619 but when going for the splash to finish off the match, Miz catches him on the way down with his knees up, before rolling him up for another surprisingly clean win. I guess with MARYSE not being allowed there he isn't in full heel Miz mode? Who knows...regardless, Miz reaches the final, and that's now both Kurt Angle AND Rey Mysterio wasted, in what's fast becoming a glorified house show. [2/5]

DOLPH ZIGGLER def. SETH ROLLINS

As I was saying? The RAW semi-final initially has some momentum with Seth getting another great crowd reaction, could we be seeing Saudi Freakin' Rollins shirts on sale after tonight? The match gets going with both Seth and Dolph testing the waters and sussing each other out, and it does become a pretty enjoyable match. Dolph goes to work on Seth's neck injury with the neck-breaker and hard hitting Spike DDT, often mocking and taunting him while he's down, but Seth is always resilient; kicking out the Fame-Asser, even when after hitting the Superplex into the Falcon Arrow, Dolph managed to reverse with the Zig-Zag but still Seth kicks out. It's here though that DREW MCINTYRE makes his towering presence felt in Dolph's corner...after a Seth Suicide Dive, the two end up having a face to face, with Seth goading him to interfere to get Dolph disqualified, which was a good tactic to some degree. Drew backs away however, initially that is...setting up the matches climax, Seth hits Drew out of nowhere with another suicide dive while Dolph is down, but when he climbs the top turnbuckle to get back on the offensive with Dolph, Drew jumps back up and throws Seth off the top rope. Dolph seeing this capitalises with a Superkick and pins Seth for the win. With the interference Seth doesn't really lose any credibility, neither has he lost his Intercontinental Championship as that's not been up for grabs, so he's fine coming out of this regardless of the result...but we now face a tournament final with Dolph Ziggler and The Miz and really that, just...well who cares now is what I'm trying to say. [3/5]

WWE Championship: AJ STYLES def. SAMOA JOE

This was another incredibly makeshift match at short notice...initially we were MEANT to be witnessing a dream match between defending WWE Champion AJ STYLES and the returning super babyface DANIEL BRYAN...HOWEVER, given all that's gone on with the whole Saudi situation, Bryan pulled out of tonight's show like John Cena and they had to change the largely advertised title match. Literally days before, the match was squandered on an episode of SmackDown Live, where Bryan ended up losing clean in the ring, tapping out to Styles Calf Crusher...this led to the sudden appearance of SAMOA JOE who attacked AJ after the match, holding up the WWE Championship, declaring their rivalry was far from over. In a seemingly rushed back stage segment, AJ demanded to SmackDown General manger PAIGE that he wanted Joe at Crown Jewel in a title match...and just like that, dream match wasted, ongoing feud continued and we see these two go at it yet again...seriously it's now just TNA again but with a bigger budget and better production. Not to take away from these two however, they have great in-ring chemistry and the crowd are hot for AJ, wherever you go people do seem to love AJ, probably the only person that can make Arabian's sing along to Christian rap, he's that good. The match was a typical encounter between the two, lots of striking from both men, with some tasty looking spots including a ridiculously hard clothesline that nearly turned AJ inside out, plus a dive to the outside that sent AJ crashing into the announce table, which looked quite rough on his rib cage to be truthful. AJ worked on Joe's legs though taking away the big mans surprising agility, eventually wearing him down with the Calf-Crusher, but Joe doesn't give up too easily, taking an additional Phenomenal Forearm before he eventually succumbed to a 3-count. AJ get's the win and remains champion, as he now looks to get himself in the record books, by overtaking DIESEL to enter the Top 10 longest title reigns in WWE history. Not bad for a TNA guy...not bad at all. [3/5]

Universal Championship Match: BROCK LESNER def. BRAUN STROWMAN

Where oh where do I even begin with this one? On a scale of one to ten of how wrong things can go for WWE in terms of story lines...this is a sure fire ten. Not even TYE DILLINGER would be OK with this ten. This was SUPPOSED to be a Triple Threat match between ROMAN REIGNS, BRAUN STROWMAN and a returning BROCK LESNER which no one really saw coming after he FINALLY dropped the belt initially. We all thought (And hoped) he was buggering off back to the UFC...but nope, he returned at HELL IN A CELL to interrupt the match between Roman and Braun, reinserting himself into the title picture, wanting his favourite red strap back. The trouble is, the WWE was shaken recently with the terrible announcement that Roman had to vacate the title, after a frustrating two year push, because he's once again battling Leukemia. Seriously you couldn't write this shit now, that's how this feels...I mean I wish Roman all the best and hope he can fight this off but we're left with this utter farce. RAW general manager Baron Corbin comes down to the ring to represent the brand as he will declare the winner of this match new Universal Champion, seeing as the title was vacated. Brock gets a crowd pop, as does Braun, who if you remember won the Greatest Royal Rumble last time WWE were over here in the place that shall not be named, but what we're about to witness, is nothing more than utterly farcical. After PAUL HEYMAN does his usual, tired and repeated bollocks of introducing Brock, Baron shows both men the title up for grabs, standard affair...BUT, he then hits Braun over the back of the head with the belt, allowing Brock to take advantage and drop Braun for an F5. To Brock's dismay Braun kicks out of the pin, so he drops him with another F5...the same thing happens. Brock delivers a THIRD F5, the same thing happens...Brock is getting visibly angry now so he goes for a 4th F5 but instead tosses Braun over the top rope to the floor. Braun get's back in! He then finally manages to get his ONLY offence of the match in, hitting Brock with one measly boot in the corner, before Brock drops him with a fifth F5 to finally claim victory and once again, become Universal Champion. I have three words for this; WHAT. THE. FUCK. A nonsense match this was...I don't care how many F5's Braun kicked out of this made him look ridiculous, I mean this was essentially a squash match, WWE just shit all over their build of Braun. It was also a middle finger to fans who complained about Brock being champion; he's hardly ever there, his matches are beyond boring and we all HOPED that he really had fucked off to the UFC, ideally staying there, but nope, he's back, and once again has the title...what an utter farce this match was. [1/5]

Tournament Final: SHANE MCMAHON def. DOLPH ZIGGLER...???

JUST when you thought that the levels of insanity and questionable booking couldn't get any worse, oh boy, were we not expecting THIS. As it was the SmackDown vs Raw World Cup tournament final, with Baron Corbin already being ringside, SHANE MCMAHON heads to the ring to show his face and represent the blue brand, rooting for The Miz...and things initially seem professional. The referee sends Drew McIntyre out of Dolph's corner, back to the locker room to make the fight fair, giving the bout an element of respect and seriousness, but while that's going on, The Miz wants to get things underway early, attacking Dolph before the bell has rung. This leads to both men finding themselves outside the ring but upon leaving, The Miz seemingly rolls over his ankle and falls to the floor, selling an injury...with Miz being unable to officially start the match, the referee is about to call it off and award Dolph the victory by means of forfeit...cue Shane McMahon...unhappy with that outcome, he valiantly enters the match in place of The Miz to represent SmackDown, as he's not prepared to see the match go down like that. Corbin is furious but through complaining get's sent back by the referee himself, leading to cries of bias from the commentary team, as we lead into what has now become another complete farce. Shane swiftly goes to work on Dolph with a series of strikes and a DDT, before eventually sending him into the turnbuckles with a slingshot, and hitting his trademark Coast To Coast for the 3-count. Let this just sink in for a moment...Shane McMahon, just won a tournament, he wasn't even entered in...Shane McMahon, in around 3 minutes, has just been crowned THE BEST IN THE WORLD by winning WWE's Crown Jewel world cup...that literally just happened. Shane McMahon is now officially, the best in the world. He certainly now thinks so anyway, as he goes bonkers celebrating and parading the trophy around...and even the announce team don't know what to make of it. The best comment comes from Graves stating that possession is nine tenths of the law and we can't take this result away from Shane...but seriously guys come on...what's going on did they have fucking VINCE RUSSO write this? Surely the main event can salvage something...[1/5]

DX def. THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION

Bare in mind that we're in the latter half of 2018, and the main event on tonight's PPV is a tag team match between DX (TRIPLE H and SHAWN MICHAELS) and THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION (THE UNDERTAKER and KANE)...but apparently this is the first time that this has ever happened...what makes it more insane is that it's Shawn's first official match since he retired eight years ago...and please bare in mind that the combined age of these four men is now over 200. Now that you've wrapped your head around that, the match itself was no more than two things; a nice piece of nostalgia for long time fans, and a seriously sad state of affairs with the men obviously way past their prime. DX and Undertaker got massive crowd pop's when entering the arena and before the match was even underway for long there were chants of "This Is Awesome", and it was a slow start let me tell you. Things were being paced nicely though I have to admit and the inevitable confrontation between Shawn and Taker' did give you goosebumps...but things went tits up quite early on as, during a spot where Triple H went over the ropes to the floor, he sustained a real injury to what seems like either his right bicep or shoulder, or his pectoral muscle. Being the professional he is however, and fighting through what must be absolute agony, he continued the match despite not being able to use his right arm for three quarters of it.  Everything after that descended into chaos and was either sloppy and sluggish, or cringe worthy. Shawn tried to carry as much of the match as he could, with a trademark kip-up and top rope elbow drop to chants of "You Still Go It", even a moonsault to the outside to take out Kane and Undertaker, the trouble is he also landed badly and took out his own face in the process and may very realistically have a concussion. There were botches on the outside where Triple H can audibly be heard calling spots, there was a confusing double Irish whip into the barrier which just looked really awkward, Kane Chookeslams Triple H through what seems to be the wrong announce table as all the monitors are still set up...oh and Kane's mask falls off too which has virtually never happened unintentionally...seriously this very quickly became a car crash. After what feels like forever then, and a near submission via a Hells Gate on Triple H, Taker' and Kane set up for a double Tombstone spot, but Shawn gives Kane a thumb to the eye, drops both men with Sweet Chin Music allowing Triple H to hit one seriously weak-ass Pedigree on Kane because of his injury. He pins the big red machine and claims another victory following the match with Taker' at SUPER SHOW-DOWN in Australia...but what a disappointment this match turned out to be on numerous levels. Sure the injury couldn't be helped, but watching this, it was just genuinely sad, and does little to warrant any interest in any of these competing again in future, which speaks volumes given the men in question...I really think it's time they all Rest In Peace from an in-ring standpoint. [1/5]

Essentially, looking at this from a purely WWE perspective, the event was no more than a big-budget house show, and hopefully none of this will carry on with much significance in regards to RAW and SmackDown...from a different perspective, given all the controversy surrounding the event, the WWE has a lot to mull over before there are any suggestions of going back to Saudi Arabia in 2019, and there are serious questions to be asked over this apparent ten year deal. With Crown Jewel now done and dusted, we can now look forward to a proper show by the name of SURVIVOR SERIES in a couple of weeks time, where the women will return to the ring and we'll hopefully have some proper story lines heading into whatever matches end up on the card. Until then, to answer Hulk Hogan's initial question...what am I gonna do when Crown Jewel runs wild on ME? I'm going to shake my head in disbelief it turns out...SHANE MCMAHON IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!?!?!?!?!?!?!