GAV: I'm with Bam here, alongside Nicki, Novak and Flamsteed from Fuckface Unstoppable…
BAM: Alex Flamsteed, aka Rubbish Heap
ALEX: I'm known as Rubbish Heap in this band for a good reason.
BAM: He got off with some girl the other night, and in the heat of the moment, she punched him in the face, and his tooth got knocked out.
ALEX: I got a sexual injury!
BAM: Yeah, but she told you to soak it in milk!
ALEX: I didn't soak it in milk, I threw her fucking arse out of the bus and told her “fuck you, you cost me $2000 dollars on my teeth!”
BAM: They left on bad terms…
GAV: That’s understandable! [laughs] But, yes, basically you’re in the UK again now for the 2nd tour, and obviously your fans know what FFU is all about, but for those generic rock and metal fans that aren't familiar with FFU, how would you describe what this is?
BAM: Let’s say if uh, CLUTCH fucked TURBONEGRO and had a kid it’d be us [laughs], and then a little bit of GG ALLIN coz Novak sings naked, Nicki B is half naked, Rubbish Heap dives in the crowd left and right that’s why he has bruises all over his back…he looks like a leopard.
ALEX: I look like a leopard…I have leopard print bruises! [laughs]
BAM: I got a fucking elbow pussy! [shows deep cut on his elbow]
GAV: Nice…how the fuck did that happen?
BAM: Me and him were fighting out front and then I got cut on some glass
ALEX: I like, smashed a bottle in fake anger…
GAV: Fake anger? [laughs]
ALEX: Well, we got a camera that goes out the front of the tour bus…
BAM: Yeah and, it’s always recording so, we wanted to just get footage, so we started a fight outside…
GAV: As you do [laughs]
BAM: You should! But, I popped your ear drum out! I slapped him when he was sleeping once and I popped his ear drum out and I felt really bad about it because he’s a drummer and he should be able to hear…
ALEX: It’s all fun and games!
GAV: All fun and games indeed, but, you’re here In the UK now, you've worked a few dates around the fact you’re playing SONISPHERE this year, well, you played Sonisphere sorry. Obviously you've toured the UK, the US, Canada, etc.. How did Sonisphere compare to the fact you've played club gigs and local venues, size-wise, how did that feel?
BAM: All the shows have been really good and uh, y’know, Sonisphere was rad, but, I like the tight clubs with no barriers, the fans are right there, and the security y’know, is like, “If a fan jumps up on stage you want me to like, rough em up and throw em out?" Hell no! Leave em up there! Let em do whatever they want. “But what if they trip on the guitar wire?” Then they trip on the guitar wire!
ALEX: I like playing big festivals but like, when the first person in the crowd is like 15 feet away from you, because there’s this huge stage and this huge barrier, it’s like, it’s fucking awesome, y’know don’t get me wrong, I absolute love playing outdoor shows and festivals, but, when there’s no barrier and they are right up in your face it’s so much more intimate and fun and the crowd has so much more fun that way, there’s pros and cons to both so…
GAV: There’s more connection with the crowd that way because obviously, you pour your heart and soul into the live show, and then, you appreciate the feedback from the fans...
ALEX: Well they’re just as much of a part of the show as the show
BAM: I think they’re more of a part of it though when they’re right up front, coz, y’know, you’re slapping hands, diving into the crowd, stuff like that.
ALEX: And like we, we like to have everyone that’s in the crowd, be part of the show, rather than like, we’re not just gonna stand there and perform to them, we are part of their show, and they are part of our show, and that’s the whole thing, but at the same time, playing to 15,000 is absolutely fucking awesome too y’know? It’s the greatest feeling in the world, but also playing to couple of hundred people in a packed out little club, and I can fucking, French kiss people, and Novak’s balls are hanging in people’s faces, that’s hilarious.
BAM: Thank god Rubbish Heap played with GUTTERMOUTH, like he knows about rock shows, that if it’s a Monday night and nobody shows up, like, one time we were in Detroit, and it was a venue with 2000 capacity, and there was only 400 people there and it looked like no one was there, coz they were all spread out, it looked like there were fucking five people there to me and I'm like “Jess, I can’t do this, I am not playing this show, I’m just not”…and Rubbish Heap was like, “I know what to do, Every mother fucker right now get the fuck up on stage!” So now there’s, 400 people in this massive venue, and they’re all on stage and we’re wall to wall packed, elbow to elbow…
BAM: It wound up being one of the best shows BECAUSE of that, and I would never thought to do that, and he has like the gift of gab for doing that, like, just coz, if you’re Jess, y’know my brother, “Alright everybody should try to come up on stage coz it’d be like, way awesome…” y’know It just wouldn't be the same, it just wouldn't work [laughs]
ALEX: But y’know like, at the same time, when it comes to that, I'm extremely fortunate enough to have, Bam and I both doing front-man sort of stuff, it’s great because, it gives us both the ability to have awesome crowd interaction and awesome vocals at the same time. If I like, dive into the crowd and my microphone goes flying, cable breaks, it tends to happen every, probably five minutes, and then there’s Novak too y’know, it’s just a good mixture.
NOVAK: We’re good on stage but they don’t really expect much out of us ANY other time on the tour, they don’t expect us to load in or load out, or make it on time anywhere or be responsible, but we’re good on stage so that pays the dues [laughs]
GAV: I was there last year at Bristol, and, sadly you weren't there at the time…
ALEX: He was there…
GAV: No, Novak wasn't at Bristol
BAM: He was in the hospital with his blown out ass-hole. He blew out his ass-hole!
GAV: You BLEW OUT your ass-hole?
GAV: Can you explain HOW that even happened? [laughs]
BAM: He asked me for $30 in the worst neighbourhood ever, and he’s been a heroin addict for seven years…or more…and I knew that whatever he wanted my $30 for was for nothing good, so I was like, “I'm not gonna give you $30”, and he kept begging and begging, and I'm like, “Shove this rock up your ass and I’ll give you $30”, so he shoves this rock up his ass, and he forgets that its up there for like, two days…
ALEX: A jagged ass rock by the way!
BAM: Then, he dives in the crowd with a girl’s thong on, and, they rip the thong like a king wedgie, and rip the rock out, so, dude, he blew his ass out, and it looked like a uh, apricot was hanging out of his ass
NOVAK: Blood was shooting out of my ass hole and, they wanted to sew my ass hole shut, and, I was actually going through withdrawal at the time
ALEX: Of course you were! [laughs]
BAM: [laughs] He rips the needle out of his own arm, like, the nurse is supposed to do it, he’s just like, “Ha! Gaids shot for the road!”
NOVAK: I really showed them because I still to this day shit out blood OR have a haemorrhoid, every fucking day, so I really showed them huh? [laughs]
ALEX: But the other thing is, his girlfriend Apple was there right…
BAM: The Doctor goes, “So YOU are his girlfriend?” And she’s like, “Yeah?”, and he’s like, “…And you don’t think that he’s gay?” She’s like, “Why?” He’s like “This is not from a thong ripped open, this is from years and years of damage to his anus…”, and Novak’s like, “Well I forgot to mention Doc, I used to shove drugs up there and hide it like a glove compartment” [laughs]
NOVAK: My ass hole was like a suitcase in times of need, you know what I'm saying?
ALEX: For nine years of Novak's life his arse hole was literally a safe
GAV: I can understand the logic behind it but I can’t relate personally [laughs]
ALEX: What you've never shoved drugs up your arse?
NOVAK: You haven’t fucking lived! [laughs]
ALEX: You gotta try that! I've never actually done that either…that’s a Novak thing…
...To Be Continued...