As you all know by now, every year I do a round up in some way shape or form, of the annual EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. Highly regarded in the UK as an absolutely cringe-worthy cheese-fest, it's no surprise we haven't won it for years, and that's without getting into the shows regular politics let alone the utter shambolic level of fuckery we've found ourselves in under the "leadership" of Theresa May and the current Conservative government...well actually no I'll blame Cameron too, the pig-poking prick! Regardless...we enter every year and hope to not come last essentially. The 2018 final will be held on Saturday 12th May and will take place in Lisbon, Portugal, after SALVADOR SOBRAL won the Ukraine 2017 competition...here I'll be taking a quick run down of all 26 qualified acts and giving my own personal individual score / opinion ahead of the live final...in order of live performance; let's begin...

1] UKRAINE: MELOVIN - "Under The Ladder". Aged just 21, opening the Eurovision Song Contest would seem like a daunting task for many, but Melovin (Real name Kostyantyn Mykolayovych Bocharov) is perfectly at home here, as winner of season 6 of Ukraine's version of The X-Factor. The track is an up-beat, rhythmic dance-pop piece which should in all honesty kick things off really well in terms of tempo and entertainment, but on record it isn't the most convincing vocal display in places and I just hope things don't fall flat for him on the night. 3/5

2] SPAIN: AMAIA Y ALFRED - "Tu Cancion". This is a track taken from Amaia Romero's album "Sus Canciones" and is a collaboration with one Alfred Garcia...sung in Spanish, it's one of the songs this year traditionally sung in the native language as used to be part of the rules before they relaxed things, and for all intents and purposes it's a soft piano ballad with elegant string sections...a lovely song in some aspects but luckily one of the boring ones is now out of the way early. 1/5

3] SLOVENIA: LEA SIRK - "Hvala, Ne!"...NE! NE! NE! We are the knight's who say...NE! *Ahem* All jokes aside, Slovenia's answer to MO / KESHA does a decent job of bringing a modern twist to proceedings. Utilizing a blend of hip-hop production and combining electronica with soulful pop, it's got a decent beat to it overall but it never truly takes off, with the chorus sadly coming across as anti-climatic compared to the level of expectancy of the track. 2/5

4] LITHUANIA: IEVA ZASIMAUSKAITE - "When We're Old". Ironically titled by the 24 year old, and despite her youth this isn't her first Euro rodeo! Having enrolled to compete in 2013, 2014, 2016 and 2017, she FINALLY get's her opportunity to represent her country in 2018. It's an honestly lovely song, focusing on Ieva's hushed, whispered vocals over a gentle piano lullaby...it's a slow one, and one that will rely on mood and emotions conveyed on the night, but it's a wonderfully tranquil track and should score well regardless. 2/5

5] AUSTRIA: CESAR SAMPSON - "Nobody But You". Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...having performed as part of backing vocals for two previous Austrian acts, Cesar finally get's his own shot. Arguably one of the first bandwagon jumpers this year, Cesar brings a fully emotive, gospel sound to Portugal with his blend of soulful pop music, hammered home by a strong melodic chorus...if you're a fan of RAG 'N' BONE MAN then expect to be giving Austria your vote this year... 3/5

6] ESTONIA: ELINA NECHAYEVA - "La Forza". The show isn't over until the fat lady sings...well as it happens Elina is far from fat and we're less than a quarter of our way through so buckle up! A classically trained Soprano, Elina brings a touch of class and vocal quality to proceedings this year, with her powerful vocal range and dramatic, operatic elements...if you're a fan of TARJA TURUNEN for example, you may want to send your vote Elina's way! 2/5

7] NORWAY: ALEXANDER RYBAK - "That's How You Write A Song". FEED. ME. MORE! Oh...sorry...wrong Ryback I was thinking about WWE for a second...but no in all seriousness, Alexander is technically a Eurovision veteran; he WON the competition back in 2009 with a track called "Fairytale"...can the young lad with the violin become a two-time winner this weekend? This funk-driven almost 70's inspired combination of tinny guitar and violin has plenty of energy, but will it be Norway or NO WAY!? You be the judge...2/5

8] PORTUGAL: CLAUDIA PASCOAL - "O Jardim". The hometown-hero as such, Claudia represents the hosts this year taking the torch from reigning champion SALVADOR SOBRAL and will be hoping Portugal can pull off an unexpected victory to retain the Eurovision Trophy for a 2nd consecutive year. Another acoustic/piano ballad, it's got quite a slow build and is honestly quite soppy, potentially risking too many similarities to last years winning song itself...they say lightning doesn't strike twice, I guess Saturday we'll find out. 1/5

9] UNITED KINGDOM: SuRie - "Storm". Oh boy...if you could find me a more fitting song for the UK for this competition I will do sexual things for you no questions asked...not only is the song already two years old and theoretically out-dated, lyrically and thematically it pretty much sums up the state of affairs regarding Britain and the EU and the whole Brexit debacle...metaphorically of course. Musically it is a decent pop track and has it's anthemic qualities but despite any positives I can't see us doing well at all this year...3/5

10] SERBIA: SANJA ILIC & BALKANIKA - "Nova Deca". There's always an entry with utilizes traditional middle-eastern tones and this track is that entry...and seriously what a long-ass intro, taking up nearly a third of the song! It's got a generally simple beat and does pick up, leading into an ultimately pleasant, up-tempo track with subtle dance tones, but it could have benefited  having more of this, less of the intro, as it's shot itself in the camel-toe essentially. 1/5

11] GERMANY: MICHAEL SCHULTE - "You Let Me Walk Alone". Another young talent with a background in reality TV; 28 year old Michael found mild success on Germany's version of The Voice in 2012, where he came third overall, before going on to release his debut album. This year we find him contributing yet another piano ballad to this years Eurovision playlist, and as you may have guessed it's another harmonious love-song with an impassioned climatic feel...again, nice but, it may get lost in the shuffle. 2/5

12] ALBANIA: EUGENT BUSHPEPA - "Mall"...I take one look at this guys name and I swear to god all I can think of is a bush-tucker trial...but my mental issues aside, here we have the first of our demographic-pleasing alternative entries. Eugent is a renowned rock performer in his home country and has actually supported the likes of DEEP PURPLE in mainland Europe, so he's got his credentials...but what is he offering here? A mellow, country-esque traditional folk-pop type piece with an acoustic lead and impressive vocals. It sounds good, I just wish I knew what he was saying. 2/5

13] FRANCE: MADAME MONSIEUR - "Mercy". France hardly needs the bad luck of performing 13th...their results have hardly been the most impressive in recent years, but they hope to change that in 2018. The ambient, synth-pop track follows on from recent success stories such as CHRISTINA & THE QUEENS and may go down well, and though there are no direct ties to the LGBT community, the whole MRS/MR approach could appeal to gender neutral's from an activist point of view...unless that's me looking far too deeply into what is essentially an annual song contest...2/5

14] CZECH REPUBLIC: MIKOLAS JOSEF - "Lie To Me". A potential favourite here depending on the right crowd...full of swagger and groove, Mikolas utilizes the southern blues inspired jazz tones of New Orleans to great effect here, rich in funk and passion, he confidently takes this track by the scruff and simply awaits the laudits of the Lisbon crowd. The recorded version does have some swearing in it, so that'll have to be edited during the final or he may find himself getting nil poi via disqualification... 3/5

15] DENMARK: RASMUSSEN - "Higher Ground". A man of many talents; Rasmussen (Real name Jonas) originally performed in a covers band, focusing on the likes of ELTON JOHN and ABBA, before he turned his attention to acting, focusing mainly on stage productions. 2018 see's him return to singing with this entry; a combination of power-pop and traditional, Nordic heritage in subtle tones. Despite the classic key-change sequence, it does lack a little oomph and falls just short of being an awesome entry. 3/5

16] AUSTRALIA: JESSICA MAUBOY - "We Got Love"...Hang on just a second let me just get Moe Sargi...'YO JESSICA MA BOI!" There we go...that's out of the way now...but no seriously Australia in Eurovision is still a thing. Yes it was novel having them there for the big anniversary show a couple of years ago but, despite not being anywhere remotely near Europe, here they are...the song itself is a generic, light, radio-pop song which wouldn't be out of place in some, teen Disney flick...it's fine but, I really don't see the point this year. 2/5

17] FINLAND: SAARA AALTO - "Monsters"...Finland you beautiful bastard of a country...as if you didn't already supply the world with some of the finest gothic metal and rock bands to ever grace the stage, you also have pop music nailed too by the looks! Saara Aalto ticks all the boxes having dueted with ADAM LAMBERT and ANDREA BOCELLI, not to mention having done voice acting for the Finnish dub of "Frozen", she's a proven voice. Here we have a sleek, electronic-pop monster in it's own right rich in hooks and mainstream appeal and it's an absolute top tune. All of the yes from me. 5/5

18] BULGARIA: EQUINOX - "Bones". Bulgaria's entry features yet another reality TV statistic in vocalist Zhana, who won Bulgaria's X-Factor in 2013...now, 5 years later we find them representing their country in Portugal with "Bones"...the haunting vocal tones and the predominantly dark-pop vibes of the song are pleasant enough, helped by its catchy chorus, but it sounds like a watered down version of "Skeletons" by 2017 Azerbaijan entry DIHAJ to me. 2/5

19] MOLDOVA: DoReDoS - "My Lucky Day". Three is the magic number as they say, and for this trio, it's third time lucky as they finally get to represent their country after failing to secure their place in both 2015 and 2016. Doritos as I shall call them from here on in, have a fun and up-beat approach this year combining modern pop with a GOGOL BORDELLO style of Oompa / alternative. 2/5

20] SWEDEN: BENJAMIN INGROSSO - "Dance You Off". One of the youngest performers at this years final in Lisbon, Benjamin started early and appeared in several Swedish musicals as a child and is hoping his performance experience can carry him through to another Swedish victory. With his soft vocals it can be said he's another JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE inspired pop-starlet but truth be told he's not of the same caliber previous Swedish winner MANS ZELMERLOW, he lacks that spark. A harmless pop song but I'm not expecting big things. 1/5

21] HUNGARY: AWS - "Vinszlat Nyar". Ever since LORDI won it for Finland back in 2006 there's almost always a rock song or two thrown into the mix to shake things up a bit and here we have that very token rock song. AWS deliver on all fronts with a strong melody and even stronger riffs for their hard rock performance, even including that cliched key-change and it has to be said it's a solid track...it wont win but it is a banger. 4/5

22] ISRAEL: NETTA - "Toy". While it's one thing to question Australia's inclusion in what is essentially a European competition, it can be said that you have to question Israel too...although politically and economically they are at least tied to the EU so there's that....anyway I digress this is a song contest not BBC Question Time. Netta Barzilai is an outsiders bet if ever there was one! A fun and up-tempo track for the most part, combining western pop influences with middle eastern traditions...it's a decent listen, that is until the random chicken noises...seriously I don't know if it's a gimmick or an affliction. 3/5

23] THE NETHERLANDS: WAYLON - "Outlaw In Em'". Real name Willem Bijkirk, he acquired his stage name after the late Waylon Jennings as means of a tribute and is no stranger to Eurovision. As part of THE COMMON LINNETS he finished runner-up back in 2014 and hopes to go one step further 4 years later. Mixing bluegrass with southern rock swagger, fans of BLACK STONE CHERRY and the like are sure to give him the nod of approval and send a vote his way. 4/5

24] IRELAND: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together". Despite a lack of luck in recent years, Ireland are still the ones to beat as they've won Eurovision a record seven times since its inception, and they hope to add another victory in Portugal this year.Another TV talent show statistic, Ryan O'Whatshisface appeared in Britain's Got Talent back in 2012, reaching the final only to finish in 5th place...will he do better here? Another sweet, acoustic/piano ballad, it doesn't truly stand out as such but he's got enough Irish charm to win the voting public over...perhaps. 2/5

25] CYPRUS: ELENI FOUREIRA - "Fuego". Apparently Eleni here is the bookies favourite and I've been scratching my head to work out how and why...with her typically modern autotune-laden pop qualities I guess she'd make quick and easy money in the charts commercially, given the success of everyone from DEMI LOVATO to DUA LIPA and the like...it's decent enough pop song for what it's worth and catchy enough but, it's nothing special per se...we'll see. 3/5

26] ITALY: ERMAL META E FABRIZIO MORO - "Non Me Avete Fatto Niente"...It takes longer to say that than they'll stay in the top 10 this year if you ask me...it's emotive enough with its almost cinematic qualities in places but songs spoken in native tongue are hit and miss and never a guarantee...it might benefit from being on last in some eyes, but to many it'll be an afterthought as the audience suffers from fatigue and burnout, and it's hardly a climatic showstopper...I can't see this doing overly well. 2/5

So...there we have it...my run down of the 2018 Eurovision final! Have you heard any of the songs yet? Are you happy with your countries entry and more important;y, who will you be voting for? Leave your comments below, but for now...it's over to Graham Norton to entertain us with his commentary.

​Ah Kentucky, I may not be an American patriot but let me just say I damn well salute you, for you not only inebriate the world with your glorious bourbon whiskeys, but you also gave to us nomgasm’s by the literal bucket-load courtesy of your heavenly fried chicken…it’s finger lickin’ good y’all! Putting tonight’s dinner plans aside for a moment, Kentucky also has a rich musical heritage. Famously coined as the bluegrass state, it not only refers to its rich pastures, but also its blue-collar musical roots, notably blue’s based southern rock, gospel and jazz, and one of its biggest exports in recent times has been BLACK STONE CHERRY. Having formed in 2001, they’ve steadily grown into one of the most popular rock acts of a generation, regularly playing arena tours to thousands around the world thanks to tours supporting legends such as LYNYRD SKYNYRD and DEF LEPPARD, plus recently ALTER BRIDGE too…2018 sees them hope to continue their run with album number six; “Family Tree”…let’s do a little digging shall we?

The album kicks off with “Bad Habit” and we’re thrust straight into Cherry’s traditional groovy southern-rock style, there are some decent licks and a strong bass-line pushing the track, but honestly the chorus feels a little weak, and the key-change leading into the guitar solo ends up sounding just a little dull and half-arsed, resulting in a less than exciting start. First single “Burnin’” follows up and again it’s heavy on the groove and it balances being gritty while having ample melodic elements quite well, helped greatly by a much better display from vocalist Chris Robertson, this is considerably better it has to be said.

“Carry Me On Down The Road” is more or less more of the same, the instrumentation is pretty solid with some enjoyable guitar work throughout but it seems to just coast along leaving you a little uninspired…likewise with “Dancin’ In The Rain”. Featuring renowned session musician Warren Haynes, it’s pretty slick with its rich blues rock tones, especially during the chorus’ main hook and although it supplies the album’s first real highlight it still lacks a certain drive. Speaking of guest appearances, “You Got The Blues” features Chris’ 5-year-old son on backing vocals which I guess is fitting for the album’s title but, other than being quaint it’s another run of the mill offering. “I Need A Woman” continues to plod along with as much urgency as a brand new barrel of bourbon, honestly it’s in no rush, never mind a woman, pro-plus and a line of coke’ he needs, show a bit of energy! The album then closes on the title track and we’re given another strong chorus to end on a slightly more positive, encouraging note, but we’re not here to paper over any cracks sadly. The band went into the studio this time round with minimal rehearsal to capture a raw, honest vibe and in doing so this collection of songs on record at least is lacking a certain sheen. If “Family Tree” had been album number one you could say for sure that seeds have been planted and it’s just a matter of time before these blues rockers blossom, but six albums in, this hasn’t worked all too well. Bar one or two moments it’s a disappointingly boring listen. [4]

Everyone loves a comeback; the more ardent then the better the story, the greater the achievement…let’s take Jesus for example. The man was supposed to have been tortured, literally crucified and then thrown into a sealed cave on a Friday, DEAD, only for him to re-emerge 3 days later like an absolute lad, dabbing with his disciples…well now we’re going to talk about a different comeback; a virtual messiah of modern music, ANDREW WK. Back in 2001 he made an instant impact on alternative rock with his iconic debut “I Get Wet”, with undeniable anthems such as “Party Hard” and “Party Till’ You Puke”…he backed this up with the brilliant “We Want Fun” which was used for “Jackass: The Movie”…he was intense, on face value he was here for a good time, not a long time and as it turns out, it was true. He did release a couple more albums but the party had died down, and over time he petered out as tastes evolved and changed. Recently however, AWK has been going through a bit of a renaissance…and it’s all thanks to that partying.

To party, is to live; though it’s far more than a weekend session getting wasted, but an actual way of life itself, it’s a state of mind for there is party in everything around you, and he’s taken this philosophy around the world as a motivational speaker, encouraging young people to embrace themselves and love life. A regular magazine column writer, an author, he conducted seminars at universities on the positive power of partying and he garnered almost cult-like status, so it’s with a great sense of anticipation, that we allow Andrew back into our lives with his first new album in over ten years; “You’re Not Alone”…has this new sense of being reignited a fire within him, or will hype and expectation crash the party? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “The Power Of Partying” and as with most albums these days it’s an intro track…with almost military inspired drum loop, coupled with a complete brass section and triumphant, almost cinematic tone, it sounds very much like a mission statement; Andrew is BACK and you better get ready, because this party is gonna’ start any time now! First track proper “Music Is Worth Living For” follows up immediately and it exudes all of the up-beat, positivity…all of it. The synth led alternative rock, backed with a huge bold chorus is virtually beaming…like a ray of sunlight slicing through the clouds on a rainy day, it’s just happy! Recent single “Ever Again” takes things up a notch or two then with its gang-vocals and anthemic bombardment. Bass-heavy and full of groove it’s incredibly infectious with some huge melodies, this is no doubt going to be a firm favourite with live crowds; such a pleasure this is!

The good times don’t stop there either, “Keep On Going” is full of encouragement and support for the listener, a message to not give up, to not allow life’s setbacks to stop you being you, Andrew is rooting for you, the party is for everyone and you’re welcome to join in just like everyone else. “Break The Curse” is a lot deeper in tone, sultry, pulsing electronica leading into a sweeping, grandiose piece, but the message is the same, rise above the negativity…lengthy, but enjoyable, while by contrast “I Don’t Know Anything” utilizes a shorter, retro-punk inspired tone to vibrant and enjoyable effect. There are a couple of questionable moments however over the course of this 16-track record, most notably the three interludes; “The Feeling Of Being Alive”, “In Your Darkest Moments” and “Confusion And Clarity”…while the thought behind them was and is lovely, reinforcing his motivational philosophies, he does come across as a touch preachy which would have been better suited to one of his seminars as opposed to album content. Luckily the title track closes the album on a triumphant note; a charismatic call to arms, to unite in the name of partying. Fans who have fond memories of head-banging like lunatics to his heavier early material may be disappointed with this but the message here transcends genre. It’s impossible to not be cheered up and motivated by this record, and long may Andrew inspire partying around the world…puking optional. [7]

A little while ago I was sent an email by a fellow named Andrew Dex and, he contacted me on behalf of Stencil, a UK PR team with their own publication in print. He said he was a fan of the blog and in turn forwarded me an eclectic mix of artists, submitting them for potential coverage on this here little blog. Flattered I of course gave them all a listen, but in the name of democracy I put the bands to a reader’s poll to see which of them you’d like given the GTGC treatment, and here we have the first lucky victim; let me introduce you to a band by the name of RUSTY SHIPP. Formed back in 2014 in Nashville Tennessee, consisting of bassist Michael Craft, drummer AJ Newton, lead guitarist Elijah Apperson and…I shit you not, vocalist Russ. T Shipp…that’s literally his name I’m not making that up and I really, really wish I was. As if that play on words wasn’t enough for you, you’ll also be interested to know that despite being totally landlocked, they are a nautical inspired band! Oh I do love a gimmick! Back last year they released their debut album; “Mortal Ghost”…and you voted, so let’s check it out.

Opening track “Sea Sentinels” gets things underway and as is tradition it’s a brief intro, initially utilising subtle, haunting tones but transitioning quickly into a grunge-inspired riff-heavy affair, musically finding itself somewhere between ROYAL BLOOD and QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE. As I said it’s brief but it’s at least an indicator of the style to come. First track proper “Treading Water” follows and what’s immediately noticeable is the complete change of tempo; still with a rich grunge influence, and vocally in places you can hear Kurt Cobain being channelled through Russ, it takes on a ballsy, up-beat garage rock tone and its rawness allows for an honestly enjoyable listen. The solo is decent too, couple that with some smooth key changes, we have an early album highlight; a good start. “Devil Jonah” is an interesting take on the old Bible tale of Jonah And The Whale; a classic story of repent, rebuttal and defiance leading to punishment and consequence…here we go more into Jonah’s psyche as opposed to anywhere near any colossal marine mammals, though the deep rumblings of the bass-heavy approach are fitting regardless.

In keeping with their nautical theme we have “SS Naronic” which is a chilling precursor to the legendary Titanic…the true story of the ill-fated Naronic, which on February 11th, 1893 had left Liverpool to cross the Atlantic to New York, only to mysteriously sink, taking with it the lives of all 74 people on board. Inspired by letters in bottles from the crew, it’s a despairing song of hopelessness and the distorted guitar qualities add to the sense of mess and struggle that the crew and those on board faced as they ultimately awaited death. Elsewhere we have “Song Of The Storms”, a brief interlude of gentle acoustic harmonies; a musical interpretation of sailing upon smooth seas, the idea of calm before the storm and it’s slotted in nicely here. There are naturally some clichés too such as “The Lighthouse” and closing track “Davy Jones” which are staples in maritime song content, but the rogue wave so to speak comes courtesy of “Caligynephobia”. The recognised irrational fear of beautiful women, here Russ sings and shouts of former young Disney starlets over an intense punk-rock backdrop and it’s utterly bizarre…I mean I’ve learnt a new word but, other than that…why? Essentially what we have here is a gritty, grunge-fuelled concept album and if you like that sort of thing, you’ll likely find something of value here but personally, I had my heart set on being jolly rogered by some ALESTORM-esque pirate rock and more naval innuendos than a Captain Pugwash marathon. Why is all the rum gone? Because I bloody drank it all…disappointed, by a severe lack of swashbuckling. [5]

As a music reviews blogger I’d like to say or at least think that I’m fairly open minded…I’ll cover the majority of genres, but one thing I have to address is my own potential false advertising. My whole tongue in cheek gimmick is that I’m a Gothic Chav; an abomination of dress sense and the self-proclaimed outcasts outcast…but truth be told, I sadly don’t really cover a great deal of Goth bands within these pages (As much as I’d like to at least) and I can’t say I’ve ever truly considered attempting to form words about a Ministry Of Sound compilation, so I need to fix one of the two…Goth it is then! With that said in all seriousness, let me introduce you to MGT…far from a new kid on the block, Mark Thwaite as his birth certificate states is a seasoned veteran when it comes to alternative/Gothic rock music…in the early 90’s he was a guitarist for THE MISSION but he’s also worked alongside legends such as GARY NUMAN and PETER MURPHY and he’s a respected name in post-punk…back in 2016 he released “Volumes”…a collection of songs with a variety of collaborations, most notably a brilliant cover of ABBA hit “Knowing Me, Knowing You” with Ville Valo of HIM…this year he returns with a much anticipated follow up entitled “Gemini Nyte”…is MGT the MVP? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with the lead single “All The Broken Things” and immediately we’re met with the classic guitar tones that defined the 80’s new-wave / post-punk movement…the gentle melody wrapped around a subtle melancholia that defined the era and laid the foundations for so many Gothic rock bands in the years that followed. Vocals are provided by Ashton Nyte of THE AWAKENING…returning from the last album but what’s different here is that he’s the sole collaborator, making this feel more like a complete album as oppose to a playlist. The continuity is most prominent on “The Reaping (Reprise)”…the song making a second appearance re-recorded but without feeling like lazy filler, it better suits this album stylistically and feels right at home here.

Elsewhere highlights include “Armageddon’s Sideshow” which again perfectly captures the emotions and memories of the likes of SISTERS OF MERCY, but with a modern twist; Ashton has an ideal baritone vocal that carries the despair that this genre so thrives upon, but the music is up-beat, lively and energetic, while by contrast, “Tear The Sun” has the same level of throwback nostalgia, but it’s a much slower, morose yet hypnotic piece, more akin to his time with The Mission…combining elements of alternative rock with shoegaze. What’s also a pleasant surprise is another cover…last time we had ABBA but here we go full synth-pop courtesy of THE HUMAN LEAGUE and their hit “Love Action (I Believe In Love)”…it stays loyal to the overall tone of the track and is delivered incredibly well but it adds enough grit and attitude to separate itself from the original. The album isn’t without its lesser moments however; as “Atlanta” comes across as pretty slow and repetitive, providing a dreary and boring listen sadly, while “Everything Undone”, utilises a 50/50 approach combining sultry DEPECHE MODE inspired electronica with surging GOTHMINISTER-esque guitars in the chorus…not awful per se just, indecisive. Overall the album is solid from start to finish, this sole-collaboration with Ashton gives the album a sense of completion instead of feeling like an experimental project and they work well together, this is nostalgic without feeling forced or cheap, with their passion for this genre worn proudly on their sleeves. If you feel at home at alternative club nights like Slimelight or Spellbound then I’m sure MGT will make it into your playlists with this album. [7]

There are certain situations in life where you just can’t win…for example, say…an argument with your wife…or there’s that saying about playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon is just going to peck at the pieces, shit on the board and strut around like it’s won anyway. My point is sometimes it’s a case of why should we even bother and to try and elaborate I’m going to use BLACK VEIL BRIDES as an example. They formed in 2006 following the massive emo explosion but were always aiming for a heavier crowd, very much inspired by their love of KISS and MOTLEY CRUE (You’d never tell looking at them would you?) and in 2011 they made their big breakthrough with the album “Set The World On Fire”…with massive singles like “Fallen Angels” they put themselves on the map and were touted as the next big thing…but the trouble is that with endorsements like this, there is always backlash.

While the younger fans lapped them up, making front-man Andy Biersack a poster-boy in the process, many traditional metal fans labelled them as rip-off artists and posers (I remember a distinctly hostile reception at Download 2012) and thus, they became one of those Marmite bands. Fast forward a couple of years and after a couple more albums, they’ve toned down on the appearance ever so slightly and focussed on delivering a less glam-metal  inspired sound leading into their brand new record “Vale”…and here lies the problem…let’s check it out.

We open up with “Incipiens Ad Finem” or roughly “Starting At The End”…that was sudden, quickest review ever! I jest…but no it’s literally a 21 second intro that serves literally no purpose being its own “track”…Biersack rambles on about having found their stage, preaching to the legion of the black and it’s all very melodramatic, before the first proper track “The Last One” gets the album going. It’s a very underwhelming transition to be honest not sounding very natural at all but when it reaches its peak it’s BVB by numbers; gang vocals and a soaring chorus, even the solo sounds forced but really its nothing special at all. “Wake Up” is a decent little track in an annoyingly literal sense…it’s a decent up beat piece of melodic rock but at less than 3mins it may as well be an alarm clock ring tone, it’s over just as you’re getting into it which is frustrating.

I won’t be a complete villain…”My Vow” offers some much needed weight and we actually get some enjoyable riffs here, there’s much more attitude here and it’s more akin to the earlier work that made them and that’s welcome, though it’s annoyingly short yet again, while “The King Of Pain” has an infectious simplicity to it, soothingly plucked guitars and honey coated vocals with ample hooks provide a clear album highlight here. “Dead Man Walking” tries it’s best to utilise pop elements but it’s far too long, and the chorus is disappointingly weak and repetitive, and its here we hit the albums Achilles heel…the vast majority of “Vale” sadly sounds phoned in and it’s ironically summed up in “Ballad Of The Lonely Hearts”. There’s a lyric that goes “Here's to the lonely hearts and the ones that never change. Here's to the failed starts and the song remains the same” and you’d be forgiven for thinking Biersack was singing about this very album…there’s nothing here that truly leaps out at you as a statement, there’s nothing here that warrants BVB being as big as they are…and this is where I draw my analogy; the band can’t win. Glam metal and make up? Posers and scorned…a touch stripped back and more serious? They have absolutely no charisma whatsoever…the album is annoyingly flat and it really is a case of damned if they do, damned if they don’t. Ironically it was them that sang “Love Isn’t Always Fair” [5]

When they initially formed in the early 80’s, North Carolina’s Raleigh rockers CORROSION OF CONFORMITY were very much influenced by the big hitters in the hardcore punk scene, with the likes of BLACK FLAG and MINOR THREAT being among the bands that inspired them, but over the years, they’ve somewhat mellowed into a more stoner based syndicate as they’ve gotten older, and despite their seemingly revolving door policy for members, the original core line up of Woody Weatherman, Mike Dean, Reed Mullin and a returning Pepper Keenan have come together once again in early 2018 to deliver “No Cross No Crown”, their tenth studio album…having accepted these terms and conditions, let’s check it out.

The album gets underway with “Novus Deus” which roughly translates as “Revived God” which ties in nicely with the album title conceptually…the track itself is merely an intro at just under a minute and a half but it’s sludgy, doom-inspired tones echo early BLACK SABBATH efforts…there’s a coarseness to it and it builds up nice and slowly to first track proper “The Luddite”. The transition is a smooth one as it blends in almost immediately, picking up the pace considerably; the southern metal style prominent throughout, rich in groove but it’s got a heaviness to it within its riffs that sets it apart from most southern inspired bands. Lead single “Cast The First Stone” is much more energetic slab of music it has to be said…with its thrashing, up-tempo approach it’s a lot more comparable to their earlier work, with its ballsy, no fucks given attitude, in ways fans of GWAR could easily appreciate this one, an album highlight.

Speaking of highlights, we can’t ignore the similarly up-beat rip-ride of a track “Forgive Me”…with the stoner influences shining through a fine dose of hard rock, coupled with some truly infectious hooks and guitar licks, it’s a wonderfully enjoyable track and provides the albums peak. Highlights don’t necessarily mean bouncy and energetic mind you, as the band prove on the title track…a chilling slab of doom-inspired despair with a social/political pot-shot at the west, while “Nothing Left To Say” incorporates an emotive, soul-based tone, fully embracing southern blues heritage. The main faults with this album, if any really, are interludes…there are three of them, taking the whole track listing up to fifteen in total and, really there’s absolutely no need. “No Cross” comes across as filler from a low-budget horror movie score, “Matre’s Diem” or, “Mother’s Day” is a random little acoustic instrumental and “Sacred Isolation” is again, no more than filler. Overall though the rest of the tracks make up a decent stoner-rock record, and COC are showing no signs of corrosion after all this time. [7]

Last time we left HIM…they left us on the cliff hanger with a foreboding sense of impending happiness…what did they mean? What did Valo have up his sleeve? What creative direction would they take next? The answer would surprise many…the previous release; “Screamworks: Love In Theory And Practice, Chapters 1-13” wasn’t received very well by a large portion of fans, with Valo himself even suggesting the album was a failure…so were the band done with the commercial radio-friendly approach? Would Valo brush his 80’s new wave pop influences under the carpet and pick up the guitar again? The short answer is, not quite…the band instead opted to do a LINKIN PARK and release a remix album entitled “SWRMXS” and if fans were confused before, this had them scratching their heads…

We do we even begin? One thing that can be said about HIM is, they’ve always tried to stay fresh…each and every album they’ve released has, while retaining the core HIM sound and principles, always mixed it up a little…be it in tone, or genre influence, ranging from doom metal to hard rock, to Gothic piano ballads…but if anything the last album proved that heading down a commercially friendly mainstream route upset fans to some extent…so was this in essence a middle finger? A fuck you? Many viewed this as a die-hard fans only release, one for the collectors and a record that had no real place in the bands discography…but how good or even bad WAS it? The eleven track mix tape opens up just like its predecessor with “In Venere Veritas” but it’s been reworked by Finnish electronic composer HUORATRON (Real name Aku Raski) and what we find is a dirty slab of EDM, dotted with broken vocal samples and distorted dub qualities…its…different. “The Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness” can in ways be blamed for the project as a whole given the musical approach and here its mix by American house DJ MORGAN PAGE is very much the lo-fi, chilled listen it was always meant to be, rich in ambience. Some of this material DOES work…”Love, The Hardest Way” has the pleasure of having TIËSTO at the helm and is probably the sole source of credibility here for any casual listener…his approach is simple and trance-inspired with some genuinely catchy qualities, while “Dying Song” is given similar treatment…again, lo-fi but up-beat and at least enjoyable…when they get it wrong however, my god do they get it wrong. “Heartkiller” gets absolutely butchered courtesy of a MERCYFVCKS remix…I honestly wish it had mercy and fucked off…while the oOoOO remix of “Shatter Me With Hope” could put a glass eye to sleep…brave? Very. Stupid? Debatable…one thing’s for sure; it left a sour taste in many a fans mouth and is arguably the worst thing the band ever put their name to. [3]
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There would be another quiet spell following on from the Screamworks touring cycle and in ways, a period of recovery and reassessment too, on both sides to a degree…but fans got excited again in 2012 when HIM returned out of the blue with a new single; “Strange World”…another cover, this time by KÉ and another cover the band could ultimately call their own, credit to HIM, they know how to pick a cover…but excitement soon dwindled as the new song would be just that; one new song, merely to accompany another greatest hits collection…”XX: Two Decades Of Love Metal”. No more than an upgraded version of “And Love Said No”, it simply included the singles from the albums post 2004 and many fans felt disappointed. Sure the track was good, it was even more satisfying seeing the band pick up the guitars again and belting out some hard rock…but why just the one song? It turns out there was an issue with previous record labels who still owned rights to the bands back catalogue and wanted to put out a compilation…HIM literally recorded the song to shut the label up and the album was swiftly forgotten about; a brilliant cover and a solid collection of classic songs but…ultimately pointless. [7]

It wouldn’t be long however for HIM to release another full length album, spurred on by the recording process the year prior, the band had signed a new deal with RAZOR & TIE releasing “Tears On Tape” in 2013. The album wasn’t without its difficulties mind you…in fact the album very nearly didn’t happen, with the band worryingly close to calling it a day before it was even completed…an omen for things to come sadly. During the writing process, drummer Gas was suffering from nerve damage in his hands from repetitive stress and was ordered to take time out…would the album be completed? More importantly would Gas drum again and, with that, could HIM continue? Lucky after several months he returned and the album was finished…once again produced by long-time collaborator Hiili Hiilesmaa, it saw the band again return to their roots, delivering a raw, garage rock vibe full of grit and maturity. The back-to-basics approach led to Valo's vocals having a vulnerability to them, his morose poetic lyricism was showing an honest pain…tracks like “I Will Be The End Of You” and “Hearts At War”, blistering in their delivery, highlighted a suffering for love in their guitar driven frustration, while cuts like the title track and “Drawn & Quartered” tugged at the heartstrings with a strong sense of empathy…never afraid to experiment however, the album includes the band’s first and only instrumental pieces, breaking up the album allowing for a fresh listening style, before the album closes on the emotionally powerful “W.L.S.T.D.”…one of the bands heaviest, gloomiest and despairing pieces of music, coupled with one of Valo’s most impassioned vocal displays, it’s truly heart wrenching…and sadly…it was to be a fitting and poignant swan-song. [7]

After the record was released and the touring cycle was completed, Gas decided his time was up and left the band, leaving question marks hanging over fans worldwide. This…was to be the Finn’s final album…HIM were done. Stand-in percussionist Jukka took up the drum-kit to play for the band on live dates in the few brief years that followed, but in the March of 2017, HIM announced to the world that, they would be breaking up. The writing of new material simply wasn’t working, the spark had gone, the Heartagram was no longer beating, and the hearts of legions of fans were broken…tears were no longer on tape, they were on the cheeks of hundreds of thousands of fans worldwide as his infernal majesty relinquished his crown, kissing goodbye to us all. The band embarked on one last hurrah, a farewell tour dubbed “Bang And Whimper” (Still with a sense of humour on their way out) which led to the bands final ever performance at Helldone in Tavastia, Finland, on the 31st December 2017. After a 20+ year career…8 albums and having garnered one of the most cult-like followings in music…HIM were no more, and the world lost something truly magical. From here on out, I’d like to wish Ville, Mige, Linde, Burton and Jukka all the best in everything they set their hearts on, as we’ll always be there for them. You gave countless people hope, something to live for, something to cherish, and you'll be missed greatly, not just as a band, but by an extended family. Thank you, and farewell. Tears on tape…we will follow. <3

Picking up from where we left things last time, HIM were taking over the world; BAM MARGERA had helped them break out of mainland Europe into the UK and America, by introducing them to the MTV generation…their sales and fan base were on the rise, they were playing bigger stages at festivals, they were all over the charts internationally, Valo even won Metal Hammer’s prestigious Golden God award, and pandemonium couldn’t be sweeter…his infernal majesty had finally taken his rightful place upon the throne…but there’s an old saying; what goes up must come down and sadly, this began to happen sooner rather than later for HIM and it all came around the time of their next album…

In the September of 2007, two years after they hit their commercial peak, the band did a dramatic U-turn, ditched the radio-friendly pop-rock of “Dark Light” and opened up the gates of hell with their follow up “Venus Doom”…praised by critics for its experimentation and total change of direction, the band had embraced a new found sense of heaviness, channelling the likes of PARADISE LOST, with Ville reacquainting us all with his love of all things doom metal (As if the title wasn’t a clue already)…musically it was far heavier than anything they had ever done before, even their earliest work…the riffs, bass and percussion were all full of aggression and suffering…the deep tones of the album allowed Valo to truly hypnotise the listener with his impressive baritone vocal range, on times sounding truly demonic and chilling like on the title track, the lead single “Kiss Of Dawn”, also on the hauntingly beautiful prog-metal journey of “Sleepwalking Past Hope”…but no matter how harsh the band gets musically there’s always a delicately balanced track listing and this album was no different. From the brief, acoustic campfire ballad “Song Or Suicide” to the tortured lamenting of “Cyanide Sun”…this was Adams Family level Gothic romance and it was stunning…their rise in popularity even found the song “Passions Killing Floor” used for the original “Transformers” soundtrack! Despite the change in direction, they were still big, still in the charts, even getting Grammy Award nominations…but the fame came at a price…Valo had developed worsening alcohol problems which over time became more and more of an issue…plagued by exhaustion from the pressures of success, plus problems in his personal life, the writing and recording process took its toll on Valo and he damn near drank himself to death…until he was admitted to rehab. With the blurry oil painting depicting Venus, the goddess of love, now forever a reminder that in nearly dooming himself to drown in a bottle, Valo unwittingly perfectly encapsulated HIM's marriage of love and death, even if he was looking at her through beer goggles...I’m sure he appreciates the irony looking back [8]

Their success in America and mainstream popularity up to that point led the band to release their first and only (The bonus 6-track DVD footage with “And Love Said No” doesn’t count) live album; “Digital Versatile Doom”…released not long after “Venus Doom”, it was recorded as part of their rescheduled American tour at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles. The tour and resulting live album was heavy on Venus Doom content but also featured several of the bands biggest singles to date, acting as an updated (Albeit live) version of their greatest hits…for those who were never fortunate enough to see the band live in person for whatever reason, this is essential, especially as it came with a DVD of the performance recorded as part of a 2-disk package…here you can get a real feel for the band; how tight they are as performers and how emotional the songs truly are on the raw environment of the live stage…not to mention Valo’s cheeky sense of humour mocking Linde for the amount of solo’s he has to play…[8]

The trouble HIM faced for their follow up album was quite simply a matter of, where the hell do they go from here? They’ve just dropped the heaviest album of their career and Valo nearly did a George Best and put his liver through unthinkable punishment which nearly killed him…the answer? Another U-turn…yes this is where the band lost a lot of fans, as they began to yo-yo in style and lost a sense of credibility among the rock and metal community. In 2010 they released “Screamworks: Love In Theory In Practice, Chapters 1-13” (It just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it) and Valo, again in his self-depreciating mentality dubbed it their DEPECHE MODE album…gone was the bleak bombardment of gloomy, doom metal…gone were the tortured wails of Linde’s guitar…in their place were gentle melodies and enough pop hooks to give Simon Cowell the horn…written and arranged with far, far more emphasis on Burton’s keyboard playing and a much softer song writing approach, HIM found themselves facing a lot of uncertainty…critics were again, generally in favour, praising experimentation once more and championing Valo’s song writing, but a lot of fans weren’t impressed. Many were confused at the direction and while though it retained plenty of HIM’s trademark melancholy, it lacked the bands usual depth and came across as all too synthetic. Even Valo had convinced himself that it was a failure upon release, but in honesty, it’s merely by their own already high standards…lead single “Heartkiller” was undeniably infectious and the majority of the tracks on the album followed suit; “Scared To Death” is quite possibly the sweetest thing the band have written since “Join Me”…while “Acoustic Funeral (For Love In Limbo)” does have a slight emo influence, which people were already moving away from. There were naturally tracks with a bit of attitude however, with the likes of “Shatter Me With Hope” and “Like St. Valentine” having the most bite, but they were a far cry from what had preceded them…before the album closed on the synth-heavy “The Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness”…possibly the lease HIM song HIM have ever written, but far from terrible. Ultimately this was a solid collection of commercially heavy pop-inspired alt. rock that sadly got lost in the shuffle…wrong place, wrong time with the wrong sound…from here on out things would slowly go downhill. [7]

Finland’s finest alt-rock romantics HIM have left behind a luscious and long-lasting legacy now that they have sadly called it a day, and last time round we revisited the band’s earliest albums as we reminisced over their formative years, and the tracks that laid the foundations for the band we grew to love. Continuing on from where we left things in 2001 and the band had established themselves throughout mainland Europe with multiple successful chart positions, but their journey didn’t stop here…oh no…there were other markets to tap into and thanks to a certain celebrity skateboarder and a shit load of plugging, Valo and co were about to break into the UK and beyond…and it all kicked off in 2003.

First and foremost, we need to talk about BAM MARGERA…say what you will (Some people disregard him completely but I personally believe that’s not fair) but without Bam, HIM certainly would not have taken the path they found themselves on, and you could argue that he directly contributed to a lot of their success outside of Europe. Bam discovered HIM while in Finland for a skateboard competition when “Razorblade Romance” was released and he was seeing HIM everywhere so, ultimately fell in love with the band. He was using songs for skate footage in the CKY DVD’s…he used tracks in soundtrack for his movie “Haggard”, he used the Heartagram on his official Element skate decks…HIM were getting exposed to the “Jackass” crowd and a lot more ears fell upon HIM’s music…the result? More success! Bam and Valo became good friends and when the opportunity arose, they naturally collaborated…he did them two music videos; "Buried Alive By Love" and "The Sacrament"...and they would both come on the next album…

HIM returned to the studio in 2002 with their original producer Hiili Hiilesmaa and the resulting album was a blistering return to form; “Love Metal”. Once a tongue-in-cheek term for their style of darkly romantic rock music, it had now become its own cult-like sub-genre so naturally, Valo (In all his sarcastic brilliance) does a VENOM and makes an album out of it! The Heartagram, in all of its glory emblazoned across the album cover in solid gold on a glossy, intricately designed Gothic black background was more than artwork, it was a thing of beauty, it was symbolic and the music within was just as powerful…opening up with “Buried Alive By Love”…with Gas crashing those cymbals, Mige and Linde bursting in with those powerful riffs…this was a band full of hunger and intent. As openers go you’d be pushed to find one with such impact…this was raw, this was rocking like a motherfucker and HIM were back! When the band get going it’s hard to stop them…tracks like “Beyond Redemption” feature some of Valo’s most powerful vocals and “Soul On Fire” is simply scorching…but they still manage to balance the beauty with the brutality. “The Funeral Of Hearts” with its rich melodies was their first foray into the UK charts hitting a very respectable 15, while “The Sacrament”, with Burton’s dreamlike piano intro was simply beautiful. Rounded off with “Love’s Requiem” and the seductive, spine-tingling “Circle Of Fear”…HIM were on the up. Very much like an erection Valo may say with a wry smile…[9]

With their music now reaching across the sea…and having already been around for nearly a decade, now was the perfect time to capitalise on all of the new fans they had accumulated and in 2004 the band released their first compilation album; “And Love Said No: The Greatest Hits 1997-2004”…not only spanning their four full-length releases up to that point, they also acquired Bam Margera to direct them another two music videos for two brand new tracks to accompany the collection. The first was the title track, which with its quaint melodies and gentle vocal harmonies provided blissful listening, but tugging on your heart strings just enough to remind you that it was HIM here, it was still a bit dark…while the main single was another cover the band would arguably go on to claim as their own; “Solitary Man” by NEIL DIAMOND. This powerful rendition added plenty of the Finn’s character and took the song to another level, eventually reaching number 9 in the UK charts…HIM were on top of the world, or so they thought…there was just one more place to conquer; America…and the only thing in their way, was the Atlantic ocean, but they’d crossed oceans of wine to find you before…[9]

Ville Valo has always made little jokes about himself and the music, being really quite humble…and in 2005 HIM would go on to take over the world with what he calls their BON JOVI album. Yes in the September of 2005 they released “Dark Light” after signing a deal with Sire Records…produced by Tim Palmer, it would be some of the sleekest and most polished work of the bands career and it did them wonders. Tracks like “Wings Of A Butterfly” and “Killing Loneliness” saw the Finn’s stamp their name on the charts yet again with their infectious pop qualities and the direction, despite being primarily more mainstream earned them many positive reviews with critics. As a whole the album was produced with accessibility and radio play very much in mind, with the band losing much of the aggression from its predecessor, but it retained Valo’s darkly poetic writing style which the band still carried off superbly…tracks like “Under The Rose” and “Behind The Crimson Door” being up-beat and a little feisty, another superb cover in the form of THE RAMONES classic "Poison Heart", while “Play Dead” and the title track heaped on the melancholy…too smooth for some fans, but it saw them become the first Finnish band to go Gold in America…HIM had made it…but pressures were mounting. [7]

“When love starts to die it begins with a kiss; violently soothing and warm”…beautifully morose, melancholy has always played a major part in the lyrical style of Ville Valo and it’s that tortured feeling of love-lost that catapulted HIM into the hearts of legions of fans around the world. With a whole tongue-in-cheek genre of their own in Love Metal and with a logo reaching semi-religious status (The Heartagram is arguably the McDonald’s M of rock music) they steadily took over the world, branching out of their native Finland into mainland Europe, the UK and then beyond to the US, selling millions of albums worldwide and becoming Finland’s most successful musical export. On New Year’s Eve…Valo and co put those words into practice at their final performance at Tavastia, Finland for the last ever Helldone…calling time on their 20+ year career and kissing goodbye to a sold out teary-eyed crowd. With a rich back catalogue of albums and compilations, right now I’d like to pay respects to the band by taking a retrospective look at each of their albums and remind the world that, we’ve just lost something truly special in HIM, and the pleasure was all ours.

The bands journey started way back in 1991 when Valo and Mige originally came together playing covers but it wasn’t until the release of 1996’s now infamous “666 Ways To Love: Prologue” EP that the ball truly started rolling…with only 1,000 copies originally made, it’s considered by many to be the holy grail of HIM memorabilia, just short of kidnapping Valo himself…and it’s this little 4-track EP that started it all. From the opening screams of “Stigmata Diaboli” we soon get a taste of the hard rock inspired gothic tones the Finn’s would quickly master…Valo’s baritone vocal accompanied by the raw riff-heavy approach of Linde gave them a distinction that would before long have us eating out of the palm of their hands. The song that put them on the map however, was THAT cover of sombre CHRIS ISAAK ballad “Wicked Game” and here we have the bands earliest recorded version…again, raw, but it was impossible to ignore the potential in these Finn’s and as far as covers go, it was original. “Dark Sekret Love”, a far drearier affair highlighted Valo’s love of doom metal with its bleak, methodical style and an early, rough rendition of “The Heartless” rounds things off nicely. Early days but plenty to be inspired by…his infernal majesty wasn’t quite ready for his throne. [5]

Just a year later they were back and the world finally got HIM’s debut full length album…”Greatest Love Songs Vol. 666”…and here we got a much better sense of direction from the band. Despite being a touch more polished with slightly better production quality courtesy of Hiili Hiilesmaa, you can still sense the raw, garage rock feeling the band used to deliver their intertwined messages of love and death. Housing some of their darkest and grittiest pieces of music; tracks like “The Beginning Of The End” and “Our Diabolikal Rapture” really embraced the gloom and channeled the influence of the likes of TYPE-O-NEGATIVE and CATHEDRAL…the beautifully bleak “When Love And Death Embrace” became a trusted fan favourite, a song the band would later rely on as a solid encore, and another cover in the form of “Don’t Fear The Reaper”…the BLUE OYSTER CULT classic getting it’s wrists slit to be bled out on a bed of roses…dark and romantic…HIM were here to violate us in the most sensual ways…[6]

The next album wouldn’t follow for another three years but to say it was definitely worth the wait is by far an understatement…in 2000, after coming to Wales to record in Rockfield Studios, they dropped not only the album of their career…but arguably the greatest Gothic rock album for generations; “Razorblade Romance”. With its bright pink cover art acting as a middle finger to stereotypes and super slick production it saw the band rise to heights they’d never have expected in their own humble self-depreciating humour. With tracks like “Join Me In Death” hitting the top of the charts in both Finland and Germany, HIM could do no wrong and no wrong they did…with an album literally full of top tunes, they exploded onto the scene with tracks like “Right Here In My Arms” and “Razorblade Kiss”...and not forgetting that cover of “Wicked Game”…re-recorded here again but SO much smoother, it’s here the band claimed the song as their own, creating a modern Gothic rock anthem in the process. The newly found sense of melody also saw the band embracing their softer side too, adding a depth to their song writing and playing on their romantic rock style…songs like “Heaven Tonight” and “Gone With The Sin” helped balance the chugging with the charming and quintessentially, the record was a masterpiece. No…the record IS a masterpiece to this day…and HIM will forever be pretty in pink. Goth rock was sexy again. [10]

HIM’s next album wasn’t far behind as the band didn’t take long writing new material, but the huge success found with the preceding record had made the record companies aware that there was money to be made with these Finn’s…and a lot of pressure was put upon the band to release a record equal in commercial acclaim; the result was “Deep Shadows And Brilliant Highlights”. Aided by producer Kevin Shirley, the band found themselves embracing (albeit reluctantly) a far sleeker sound leaning more towards pop music, stripped away was the grit and vigour of their established style and in its place, was even more emphasis on melody and mass-marketing. While it raised questions from long term fans, it still had the strength of Valo’s song-writing backing it up and despite the criticism, songs such “Heartache Every Moment” and “Pretending” were still huge…Linde is allowed to perform some tight guitar solos and the lighter musical approach allowed Burton to shine on the keyboard. “In Love And Lonely”, “You Are The One” and “Please Don’t Let It Go” all highlight the beauty of not only Valo’s song-writing ability but the capability of the band too, to diversify and pull it off with ease. Deep Shadows behind the scenes, but brilliant highlights on record…and frankly an under-appreciated album. [8]

Many societies have numbers deeply rooted into their own cultures…for example the number 666 may trigger many of you as, Satanic…be it spiritual or even from just a horror perspective (Films like “The Omen” being a prime example)…some may even naively say it’s an IRON MAIDEN thing but…those people are idiots. Other numbers may include 420 which, for all intents and purposes is a call to arms for partakers of the devil’s lettuce (Marijuana if again, you are naïve…also a coincidence and a half)…but what about other numbers? Shy of a run-down bingo hall what do numbers really have to do with society? Well few numbers incite thoughts and superstitions like the number 13…to some it’s lucky but to many more, it’s not…again, I refer to horror and the whole notion of Friday The 13th…and many hotels won’t even acknowledge a 13th floor…going straight from 12 to 14…so what’s my point I hear you asking? Well today’s band have recently released their 13th album and in reality it’s both a blessing and a curse…let me remind you about ELECTRIC SIX. Having exploded like the most frustrated of sexual releases back in 2003 with the hit singles “Danger! High Voltage!” and “Gay Bar”…the Detroit rockers have since slid into all but obscurity in the years that have followed but has that stopped them? Hell no…against all odds and regardless of public opinion they have released an album every year since…let’s check out 2017’s “How Dare You”…

The album opens up with “Chicken Wine” and first things first its textbook randomness from not only E6 but their charismatic front-man Dick Valentine…a recipe for disaster or something far saucier? Truth be told it’s a wonderfully energetic, up-beat introduction to the record with some vibrant, light-rock attitude, vocal harmonies and synth elements…it’s a wonderful little opener and while far from their greatest work it’s infectious and gets us off to a solid albeit abrupt start. “Arrive Alive” slows things right down and here we get Valentine’s textbook drawl...many would call him a poor vocalist but his lack of tone in places is really a long running joke and they are very much aware of this…it’s part of their charm. The chorus here is the highlight of the track with its bold approach and there’s not much more you can say really…

There are a couple of talking points dotted throughout this album…the title track is a wonderfully slick, synth driven affair with a solid groove and while it plods along it showcases E6’s ability to excel at both bleak and the banter-filled song writing. “Hatchet Man” utilises a strong solo-driven outro and oozes passion building up to a well-crafted fade-out…it’s lengthy but it’s hypnotic and provides an unconventional album highlight…”The Chimes Of Titus” too makes the most of the outro approach with an energetic hard rock flurry providing ample enjoyment…while stand out track “Routine Cocooning” is at the utmost simplistic enjoyment. The chorus is catchy and it balances the deep-vocal approach of the track well. Album low points are minor…”Sex With Somebody” is a track a band this far into their career could have avoided…it’s a bit cringe worthy…and closing track “A Quiet Man” focuses too much on a spoken word narrative and it’s far from an easy listen. Ultimately what can be said about E6? For any artist...THIRTEEN albums is a hell of an achievement…but the fact that the band has released virtually one every year since their debut comes with its problems. Sure they are prolific and clearly have the creative bug…but in ways it’s partly the reason why they aren’t as big as they could be. When they dropped “Gay Bar” the reaction was phenomenal…comedy rockers yet but it was more than an in-joke…everyone enjoyed it…in the years since, it’s like the band have opted for quantity not quality. Sure there are absolute gems in the bands back-catalogue that you will love…but you have to dig through so much to find it. This is a solid record and to be honest their best in a few years but, honestly…we’re exhausted. How dare you give us so much Electric Six! Warning! Danger! High Voltage! [6]

Just a couple of short weeks ago, I returned to Nottingham on what’s become a sort of annual Winter Goth pilgrimage…yes myself and my better half got the opportunity to visit Rock City to say our goodbyes to our favourite lads from Finland; HIM. Their “Bang And Whimper” farewell tour was announced out of the blue earlier this year and it was as you can expect, an emotional night in Nottingham, tears were shed, several were my own…and I’d like to take this opportunity to again express my gratitude for all the guys have done for both music and myself. As a unit they were one of a kind and in my opinion criminally underrated by many…we shall miss you greatly. However, as they say, when one door closes another opens and no gig would be complete without a support band and that’s why we’re here today.

Let me introduce you to BITERS…formed in Atlanta, Georgia, the four-piece (Consisting of lead vocalist Tuk, guitarist Matt, bassist Phillip and drummer Joey) joined HIM on four dates around the UK and in all honesty there were several complaints before the tour even began. You see when HIM performed their American dates, they were joined by CKY and to many this was the perfect line up, calling Americans lucky fuckers, and many dismissed Biters outright out of bitterness…but how they would eat humble pie when the tour came around. With a style deeply rooted in the hey-days of glam rock, they whipped up the crowd with a warm feeling of nostalgic rock ‘n’ roll and won the vast majority of people over. Impressed, I immediately looked them up and discovered they had released a new album this year; “The Future Ain’t What It Used To Be”…let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Let It Roll” and quicker than you can slip into your skinny jeans we’re wriggling our hips to some good, old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll charm. After a brief build-up of simple percussion and minimalist guitar work we’re thrust into an up-beat dose of classic rock, mixed with youthful vigour…in a weird way imagine STEEL PANTHER and BOWLING FOR SOUP had a child…it’s a fun start and sets the tone well. “Stone Cold Love” gives the listener a real feel for their influences as we’re teleported right back to the 70’s and the glam-rock stylistics of T-REX etc…it again plods along with a simplicity but the chorus is truly infectious and Tuk (AKA Noel Fielding) here truly channels his inner Marc Bolan for this one…the references to vinyl adding extra nostalgic value and it’s a wonderfully enjoyable little track.

“Don’t Turn This Good Heart Bad” is another of the albums stand-out tracks with its innocent pop-hooks and clap-along cheer, it really is a wonderful little love song and again channels all of that 70’s charm, likewise with “Chasin’ The Feeling”…a no nonsense swagger-fuelled dose of melodious rock ‘n’ roll rollicking…while album highlight “Vulture City” really hits the nail on the head with all of the aforementioned but with far more bite and attitude…this is infectious as fuck, reminiscent of VEINS OF JENNA and THE 69 EYES early garage days in ways…incredible stuff. There are naturally weaker moments as we can expect a lull on most records…”Gypsy Rose” again channels everything T-REX and sounds like something you’d hear on “Top Of The Pops 2” re-runs…”Hollywood” highlight’s an irony, speaking of longing to be on the infamous walk of fame…yet with over 2,600 stars on the boulevard, it’s value is diminished and the ballad here comes across as tongue-in-cheek, before “Goin’ Back To Georgia” closes proceedings with a clichéd acoustic led ballad type piece…a soppy, happy ending about heading home…a lighters in the air type track, it’s sickly sweet. For a band of this ilk to be signed to Earache Records, it’s surprising really but it’s no different to NICKELBACK being signed to Roadrunner…a great classic rock ‘n’ roll album this for a modern generation and they bridge the gap well…they went fishing on tour with HIM and we’re all biters at the end of the day, and I’m not ashamed to have been caught. [7]

There’s a history of professional wrestlers who have dabbled in careers beyond in-ring action; some of them haven’t been entirely successful truth be told. We looked at Jeff Hardy’s band PEROXWHY?GEN earlier this year which left room for improvement...and even Hulk Hogan’s movies failed to reach any blockbuster status despite his star power in the 80’s and early 90’s…but there have been those who have managed to make a name for themselves beyond the Lycra, breaking kayfabe and breaking into the mainstream. The Rock for instance is now officially a bona fide mega star in Hollywood, Jesse Ventura had successful runs as a Mayor and then Governor of Minnesota…and then there’s Chris Jericho. Yes the ayatollah of rock and rolla is, as well as a highly successful professional wrestler, a New York Times best-selling author, a podcast host and oh yeah…front-man for the band FOZZY. Having formed back in the late 90’s and initially focussing on classic covers, they steadily rose in prominence and popularity with their tight live performances and in the years since, they’ve honed their craft with a series of promising and encouraging albums, now, in 2017 we see them return with new album “Judas” on Century Media records…let’s check it out…

We begin with the title track…THAT track…quite possibly the biggest success of Fozzy’s career to date. Their highest charting single ever, reaching number 5 on the US mainstream rock charts and racking up over 11 million views on YouTube, “Judas” perfectly works the soft melodious tones of Jericho’s clean vocals around some text-book hard rock riffs, building up to this huge, infectious chorus. This is incredibly polished and kicks the album off brilliantly, a great start. We follow up with “Drinkin With Jesus” and again we have some solid riffs; no frills, no nonsense, this is straight up ballsy rock ‘n’ roll…another powerful chorus and it’s clear Fozzy are on top form here. This is further proved with additional highlights such as “Weight Of My World” and especially the massive hooks of “Burn Me Out”…the latter is incredibly addictive with its subtle electronic elements and pop-rock appeal, this is some catchy shit!

There are a couple of lesser tracks here breaking up a lot of the momentum however, “Painless” for example comes across as a little sluggish and disinterested, while “Wordsworth Way” despite having a slightly dramatic intro fails to excite overall…but generally the album is consistently impressive. “Three Days In Jail” shakes things up with some nu-metal inspired rapping, adding fresh character to the Fozzy sound, just as “Elevator” again dabbles with subtle layers of electronica with yet another infectious chorus. Essentially what we have here is a band that have finally found themselves…everything that’s led up to this point has been exploratory, and while there have been glimmers of hope throughout their back catalog, such as “Watch Me Shine” and “Lights Go Out”…here we find them nailing it. This is Fozzy and it’s easily the strongest material they’ve ever put to record. Do you know what happens? Do you know what happens when Fozzy make one of the rock albums of the year? Do you? Do you know what happens? You stupid idiots….Fozzy just made the list! My top albums of 2017 list that is... [9]

We’re going to go on a little trip down memory lane right now…back in 2014 when this blog was but a fledgling project with little to no sense of structure (Honestly I’m a little bit of a technophobe)…where my earliest reviews and my first forays into writing were there, posted for all to see in their amateur, cringe-worthy glory, I came across a band by the name of ANAVAE. Formed in London in 2011 and consisting of only vocalist Rebecca Need-Menear and multi-instrumentalist Jamie Finch, they had released a mini-album by the name of “Dimensions” and I praised it for its slick production and catchy, easy-listening electronic rock qualities…now, three years later and after a couple of random singles here and there, they’ve released their much anticipated follow up EP “Are You Dreaming?”…Well? Let’s find out…

We open up with a statement of intent in “All Or Nothing” and the track slowly crawls out of the shadows with some cold, semi-industrial tones…the feeling here is a serious one and the sound they’ve gone for is considerably deeper…the chorus here is still bold, not quite anthemic but it is assertive…coupled with the subtle techno qualities layered throughout, it’s a solid opener but heavier than previous works, an interesting start. Following that however we have the wonderfully quirky “Forever Dancing” and this is the Anavae I recognize…the charm and innocence of the pop melodies, coupled with the positive up-beat tone of this track are delightful…this is the catchy Anavae we are familiar with and it’s a clear EP highlight.

More questions are asked next with “Are We Alone?” and musically we’re met with a more stripped back, ambient alt. pop sound, there’s a gradual build to this huge chorus before it dies down again, the two elements of the song complimenting each other quite nicely but it ends on an abrupt flat note instead of properly peaking at a crescendo, leaving the listener wanting just that bit more. “Stay” has a similar issue with a feeling of being a little more, reserved or restrained, despite its harmonies…there’s a huge pop hook here, again in a strong chorus and in ways this would appeal to fans of SHINY TOY GUNS to a degree, before we finish up on “Lose Your Love”. Probably the weakest track on offer here, it’s lethargic as though the love truly has been lost; it’s personal…drained of all energy and hope, like she’s given up and ultimately it’s a sad listening experience. While the EP itself it a pleasant collection of songs within itself it lacks in the intensity and stand-out appeal that made its predecessor so appealing. Am I dreaming? No…but at least its not a nightmare. [6]

Tis’ the season to be jolly, fa-la la-la-la, la-la-like-fuck it is….let’s talk about Christmas. Every year we spend offensive amounts of money on food, drink and presents because one day, a little boy was supposedly born very unhygienically in a stable, in a pile of hay, surrounded by animals and a frightening amount of NHS health and safety violations…to a woman named Mary who claimed to be a virgin…(Joseph mate she’s having you on by here and I’d call Jeremy Kyle for a DNA test ASAP…) Yes she claimed immaculate conception and that the father was God, and the baby, who we now know as Jesus Christ, the Messiah (Not Brian, no, he was a very naughty boy) became one of the most important figures in organised religion with a following of over 2 Billion people worldwide and also, the acclaimed host of the call-in show “Jesus And Pals” on SOUTH PARK. All of this…because his mother Mary had an affair resulting in her concocting an ENTIRE RELIGION to hide it from Joseph, who was either naïve or high on animal glue from his woodwork and went along with it. And now that that’s off my chest…let’s talk about a band that links perfectly with my ranting; THE VIRGINMARYS.

Formed in Macclesfield in 2009 and now only consisting of vocalist/guitarist Ally Dickaty plus drummer Danny Dolan, the VM’s have become one of the UK’s most acclaimed up and coming indie-rock artists with several well received EP’s and albums, not to mention Classic Rock awards nominations…and this year they hope to continue in the same vein of quality with their latest EP entitled ”Sitting Ducks”…let’s check it out. The EP opens up with the title track and we’re off to a simple start…with only basic percussion and a predominantly bass-driven intro it takes a while to warm up, but we don’t have to wait long before we’re met with more melody and substance, until the chorus bursts into life with a flurry of passion. The tempo throughout is generally steady and it carries with it a certain swagger aided by that big, bold chorus…the additional guitar solo sequence breaks the track up nicely and there’s nothing to not enjoy about this track once it’s gotten going; a strong start.

We follow up with the lead single taken off the EP “Sweet Loretta (You Know Me Better)” and it’s got a great build up…no nonsense, hard rocking indie that steadily intensifies, utilising a solid groove throughout, for the most part a real foot-tapper of a track but the chorus…the chorus sadly lets you down feeling just a little anti-climactic…it lacks the edge the rest of the track hooks you with and suffers ever so slightly from repetition…it’s a bit hit and miss this. “Through The Sky” then has shades of KINGS OF LEON dotted throughout in some aspects, fully embracing an indie rock tone…its smoother, it’s mellow but the guitar solo here is slick and smile-inducing, eventually ending the track on a mildly chaotic flurry…this is far from anti-climactic and is much, much better. Finally then we close up on “Sleep” and it’s ironic as we’ve got the dreariest track on offer last…though the acoustic harmonies are both quaint charming, and it’s clear the emotions here are raw, the sadness is unavoidable and there are moments where Ally’s vocals simply grate on your ears when he releases his pain…yet beautiful is the suffering. Overall however the four tracks here get you through a very pleasant quarter of an hour and the EP as a whole is an enjoyable listen. [7]

Coincidence; not something I’d class as a phenomenon as such but, it’s weird how some things just happen to fall together. In this instance, I’ll be talking about Minneapolis Minnesota…why you ask? Well when I’m not writing reviews I spend (Some might say waste) a lot of time on YouTube watching what many would describe as “random shit”…and lately I’ve been watching a lot of political interviews with former Minnesota governor JESSE VENTURA…you might remember him from his time in the then World Wrestling Federation…but his no nonsense, brutal honesty towards the American government is refreshing and I urge you to go have a listen to what he has to say…anyway I digress, as it turns out, the next band on my list for this blog, also happens to be from Minneapolis! So that’s a nice Segway to allow me to introduce to you COLD KINGDOM. Formed in 2014, the five-piece (Consisting of vocalist Dani Engum, bassist Jason Michael, drummer Chris Morley and guitarists Evan Ogaard and Zac Boyd) have done pretty well for themselves in their formative years, having supported the likes of BUCKCHERRY and SALIVA…and earlier this year they released a new self-titled EP…appropriately being a snow day, let’s check out “Cold Kingdom”

The EP opens up with “The Break” and right away we’re met with an incredibly rich piece of bold alternative rock…it’s up-beat and catchy with its pop-inspired hooks and melodies, the resulting chorus is genuinely infectious, while the guitar work here retains a hard-rock vibe. Gang vocals give the song ample depth and the solo is OK…as openers go it’s on-point, it’s a solid track and slots itself somewhere between HALESTORM and IN THIS MOMENT to some extent…a decent start. Following on from this we take it down several gears for “In Stereo”…a power ballad of sorts, it’s dramatic without sounding pompous and it’s well delivered…Dani gets to showcase her impressive vocals and ironically this is the kind of thing fans of THE DIRTY YOUTH could get into…anyone for a Dani-duet?

It’s not long before we’re back to the meat and potatoes however courtesy of “Not Tonight” and we’re greeted with the gritty riff-work of Zac and Evan; its impassioned and even Dani gets a little agro too, this is decent alt. metal, which can also be said of “Perfect Chambers”…the riffs here are crunching, there’s a lot more weight behind them, this musically is probably the heaviest track on offer here, this is something you can head-bang too but it loses none of the bands melodic qualities in the process, despite the breakdown-outro…before we finish up then on second ballad "Child". Far, far softer, it’s slower, with sweeping string sections and acoustic subtlety…it’s incredibly tender and emotional, rounding the EP off nicely. Despite its five-track length here you can still appreciate a diversity in the way Cold Kingdom write and create and they’ve done themselves proud with a genuinely solid outing here. The production is good and each track here is enjoyable in its own right…Cold Kingdom should at least make you feel all warm inside. [7]

It's competition time! Yes! Are you a fan of NIKKI SIXX and fancy getting hold of some goodies? Do you know someone who would appreciate some rockin' stockin' fillers this Christmas? Well look no further! The lovely people over at ELEVEN 7 MUSIC have sent to me a copy of Nikki's New York Times best-selling autobiography "The Heroin Diaries" to give away...PLUS...to go alongside that, I have a copy of "The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack: 10th Anniversary Edition" to give away too...which features the original 13 tracks, plus 3 additional 2017 re-recordings of "Accidents Can Happen", "Girl With The Golden Eyes" and the single "Life Is Beautiful"...to be in with a chance of winning, Like & Follow the GAVTHEGOTHICCHAV Facebook page, and answer this simple question;

"Nikki is infamous for his multiple overdoses due to his love of heroin...and has seen numerous doctors in his time, but, what doctor found Mötley Crüe success at the top of the US Billboard Charts back in 1989?" Was it;

A] Dr. Seuss 
B] Dr. Dre
C] Dr. Feelgood
D] Dr. Acula

Leave your answer, along with your name in the comments below this post and a winner will be chosen at random. I'll even wrap the prizes for you myself, gift tags, ribbons the lot! The competition closes Monday, December 11th. Good luck!

The great thing about reviewing is, from time to time, you’ll witness growth…now, while all artists change and evolve from one album to the next (Well, I SAY all…AD/DC made a fortune on stagnation) nothing quite beats seeing a band in their formative years growing in sound, growing in style and more importantly, growing in confidence…back in 2014 in the early days of this blog’s existence, I reviewed a band by the name of DRIVEN in Fuel, Cardiff (I’ll never forget that conga line) and in the years since, I’ve witnessed them achieve so much in such a relatively short period of time. Having undergone a name change, and finding themselves signed to Spinefarm Records, IN SEARCH OF SUN (As they are now known) dropped a highly promising debut album by the name of “The World Is Yours” and grabbed a lot of people’s attention…now…in 2017 they deliver us the much anticipated follow up; “Virgin Funk Mother”…was the world truly theirs for the taking or were they ultimately searching for the sun at night? Let’s find out…

There’s no messing about with this record whatsoever as we open up with “Say It Like You See It” and we’re thrust into an infectious, groove-laden surge of riffs and funk-driven passion…the song writing, the musicianship, the delivery…it’s hard to imagine these were once just a couple of lads from London giving copies of their EP away for free just wanting to be heard, this is superb; this is anthemic…the sound here is positively huge and in ways it’s a blend of INCUBUS and YOUNG GUNS, a brilliant start this. “Bad Girl” follows immediately afterwards and while notably restrained compared to our opener it utilises a heavier, prog-fuelled guitar sound giving the track a more menacing tone as it maniacally reaches its more metal inspired crescendo…with the addition of MONUMENTS  guitarist John Browne bringing a certain djent style, this is a lot darker.

Next up we have Ronseal…or at least it may as well be, as “Motherfunk” does exactly what it says on the motherfucking tin! Its super upbeat, super smooth and front-man Adam’s clean vocals are wonderful, he’s developed into such an equally charismatic and capable vocalist he really helps carry these songs effortlessly, while the guitar work here again from David, Rory and not forgetting bassist Faz, is top drawer; they’ve nailed it here again…funk has seldom felt so relevant in alternative rock music. “Never” ticks all of the same boxes with another bold chorus emphasising another impassioned vocal display, slower and emotionally deeper in tone with subtle power ballad qualities, this further highlights their song-writing capabilities…while “Mega Piranha”…well, it’s more metal in style but don’t worry about that, look up the film…it’s amazing…it’s no Sharktopus but it’s still amazing. Actually scrap this review lets go watch them both! I jest...there are a couple of weaker moments though, yet nothing that completely ruins the record…”Little Wolf” as an interlude is barely existent and while acting as a segue, it may as well have just been a lengthy track intro instead of being its own entity, it’s a little bit pointless, while closing track “Mon Amour” overstays it’s welcome. While a decent track for the most part, we hit the halfway mark and we slide into repetition, couple that with the rising level of distortion and feedback at the songs climax and it just becomes annoying rather than awe inspiring and it really, sadly closes proceedings on a dud note. That’s not to say however that this record is a failure by any means, not at all…the past couple of years has seen the guys really put the time and effort in and it’s clearly paid off, this is a totally different band to the wide-eyed aspiring metal heads I saw in Cardiff back in the day and they certainly aren’t looking back…in search of sun? This album is positively beaming…[8]

I want to take a minute to talk about “emo”…but before you get all excited like a wide-eyed eleventeen year old browsing Blue Banana for the first ever time, I mean proper emo…no not the pompous black parade peddling MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE or even worse, BLOOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR (Seriously how are they even a thing?)…I’m talking about proper, original emo. All emo really is…is emotional rock music, that’s where the tag comes from, but it descended into a fashion statement and became more of a trend among youngsters. Bands like HELL IS FOR HEROES wonderfully blended post-hardcore with melodic indie elements to great effect in the early days but were overlooked for the poppier commercial value of the likes of FALL OUT BOY and PANIC! AT THE DISCO as the genre snowballed, and one such band who were resigned to their cult fan base, was REUBEN. The Surrey based three-piece hit their peak with 2004’s “Racecar Is Racecar Backwards” but went on indefinite hiatus following 2007’s “In Nothing We Trust”…this year, they’ve re-released the latter on white vinyl celebrating its 10th anniversary…let’s revisit it…

The album opens up with “Cities On Fire” and after a mellow, softly plucked guitar intro, we hit some feedback and the song suddenly bursts into life with a bitterness; a sharpness with Jamie Lenman’s intense, heavy vocals…he’s giving this his all, switching between soothing and savage you get a real sense of what emo should be…the mellifluous segments find themselves somewhere between SNOW PATROL and LONELY THE BRAVE while the more aggressive elements really add weight and character, balancing it out well, this is a nice opener. “We’re All Going Home In An Ambulance” has some wonderfully distorted guitar tones aiding a frenetic, disjointed musical onslaught…it’s noisy, it’s messy, it’s off-kilter…someone would probably label this mathcore today but whatever you want to call it, it’s wonderful.

Second single “Deadly Lethal Ninja Assassin” has a slower, lethargic tempo but its simplicity is infectious. Its melody is subtle and it’s a far tamer track overall with a solid climatic flurry, add to that an appearance by one Mr FRANK TURNER and we’ve got an enjoyable listen. Lengthy track names became a staple of emo albums, and “Crushed Under The Weight Of Enormous Bullshit” was no exception…for the most part utilising almost “Psycho” inspired notes, it’s an intense, unsettling listen, while “Good Luck” on the other hand is a far more peaceful acoustic led track, featuring guest vocalist Hannah Clark, it’s a lovely little relaxing campfire ballad, providing another highlight. Speaking of which, “Agony/Agatha” is another enjoyably simplistic offering; piano driven, equally quirky and catchy, before we eventually finish up on “A Short History Of Nearly Everything”. Primarily sombre in tone, it’s a fitting closure to not only the album, but their career at the time. Emo may have gone stratospheric in the years that followed and many would argue its core values were more than tainted, but bands like Reuben were properly underappreciated as soon as there was a commercial bandwagon to jump on. Ten years on, this is still a solid listen, while emo itself, was crushed under the weight of its own enormous amount of bullshit. [7]

The weather today is absolutely shit, it’s windier and wetter than a category 5 queef…so I’ve decided to uproot and head to Italy! I’m just kidding, there’s perfectly good pizza in my local kebab shop I’m not going anywhere, but today’s band however are indeed from “lo stivale”…let me introduce you to HELL IN THE CLUB. Formed in Alessandria back in 2009 and consisting of vocalist David Moras, bassist Andrea Buratto, guitarist Andrea Piccardi and drummer Marco Lanciotti, the four-piece have been living their dream of sex, drugs & rock ‘n’ roll over the past couple of years, and with a couple of records under their belt already they’ve accumulated a strong fan-base, with their sound taking influence from the glam-metal heyday’s of the 80’s…2017 sees them release their brand new album “See You On The Dark Side”…returning Jedi or are they rock’s Jar Jar Binks? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with lead single “We Are On Fire” and immediately we hear their glam-metal influence…there’s a level of swagger here akin to the likes of MOTLEY CRUE and HANOI ROCKS in places, coupled with the melodic hooks, the gang vocals, all the way down to the guitar solo, acting very much like a time capsule full of 80’s rock splendour and they fit a lot into this relatively brief opener, setting a good tone for the record going forward; a decent start. “The Phantom Punch” follows this up with little to no change in overall approach then other than slight tempo changes; there’s a more power-metal tone in the chorus with Moras properly belting this one out, more gang vocals and another solo round this one off and again, it’s decent…

The incredibly random “I Wanna Swing Like Peter Parker” is a peculiar one…while upbeat and lively for the most part, highlighting an apparent fondness of Marvel comics, it’s got this wonderful soft-jazz fill halfway through the track, it’s a cheeky play on words; half web-slinger, half FRANK SINATRA, literally swinging and I imagine this was in part inspired by THAT scene from Spiderman 3…bizarre. “A Melody, A Memory” starts off well enough with a rich, groove-laden riff sequence but as we switch into the chorus there’s this really awkward key-change that doesn’t sound right at all…it kills all the momentum gained leading into it, while it should really burst into life for a bold chorus we get an underwhelming transition…disappointing this, before we finish up on a stronger, consistent note. Album highlights like “The Misfit” utilise vibrant, catchy pop-rock qualities to deliver a light-hearted, fun listen, while “Withered In Venice” by contrast is a more mature rock ballad; dramatic and emotive…ultimately there’s enough here to entertain fans of that bygone glam-rock era but it isn’t over saturated in clichés to the point where it’s a mere tribute act…or even worse, STEEL PANTHER. Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m off to dance my way down the street looking like an absolute prat like Toby Maguire, despite the rain. [6]

Outside of the squared circle, wrestlers are very rarely (if ever at all) taken seriously…obviously I mean by people who, don’t particularly care about wrestling in the first place that is…sure there are anomalies, Rock “The Dwayne” Johnson has become a global movie star all credit to him…John Cena is trying too but nobody can see him doing it and Hulk Hogan? The Hulkster is a living legend there’s no two ways about it brother! Say your prayers eat your vitamins and believe in yourself and you too, could land yourself winning millions of dollars in a court case over a sex tape…but I digress…what about music? Chris Jericho has been gradually winning people over with his rock band FOZZY…John Cena, again, remember that rap album? Enough said…and then there’s JEFF HARDY. Hardy is one of the most loved and decorated tag team wrestlers the industry has ever seen alongside his brother Matt, he’s won numerous singles titles too in both WWE and TNA (Or whatever the hell it’s called these days)…but…did you also know that he front’s a band too? Let me introduce you to PEROXWHY?GEN…no that’s not a typo, that’s actually the band’s name (Pronounced Peroxygen) Hardy and co have released several EP’s and albums over the past couple of years and this year they dropped “Precession Of The Equinoxes”…let’s see how far we can get before we tap out…

We open up with “Sphere On Earth” and it’s an interesting one to say the least…it’s a weird, spoken word track, almost a monologue in ways…he speaks of his mother with a poetic adoration and it’s all an ode to her in her passing, this family role model, loved and respected and while quaint, it goes full-on track length at 3:00…it’s really quite artsy instead of being a brief intro and while creative it doesn’t really benefit as being an opening track…an odd inclusion this. The first proper track, “Revived” gets the album going more adequately with a mixture of rock, indie and emo qualities, tapping into that general genre-bracket…imagine bands like AMERICAN HI-FI and that ilk…clean vocals, melodic but raw…it’s got substance this…there are moments where the vocals can come across a touch flat but there’s enough here to carry it forward, this is more enjoyable start. We change gears again though as immediately we follow up with “Occasion” and while we stick with certain, soft-emo tones we’re given a far more delicate track. Heavy on piano and strings, leading into acoustics it’s got an almost semi-country feel and in ways develops into something fans of SMASHING PUMPKINS could appreciate.

At 2:44, “Otherwise” is the shortest track on offer here and while it’s a little disjointed in places, we’re treated to some decent throwback, early 2000’s alternative rock, this could have easily of come out of the nu-metal era listening to this chorus, balancing on a fine line between nostalgic and dated…”Unforgiveable” then retouches certain ballad aspects but here it’s clear Hardy doesn’t have the vocal capability to properly do this justice, he lacks a softness; a sweetness at times which would have taken this track to the next level, before we finish up on another diverse trio of tracks. “Emotionless” has more of that throwback nu-metal influence with its crossover rap metal vibe, “September Day” utilises slow, gritty electronica; coming across as spacey before we close on “Catastrophic” and it’s a weird mixture of trippy spoken word and poor rap…leaving the listener with more of a sense of “Why?” as opposed to “Wow!”. Overall…while I can sit here and applaud Hardy for all the entertainment he’s provided me over the years in ladder matches, musically he doesn’t quite grab my attention so easily, there are genuine moments here that offer a great deal of promise as some of the rockier tracks have potential, and credit to him he's not afraid to experiment, but he needs to iron out a couple of things. One things for sure, it’s not as bad as THAT match with Sting at Victory Road 2011….[4]

Without meaning to sound pessimistic, I absolutely love being set up for a fall…listen to this; “The album hits like a revelation, jolting the listener upright and transporting them from a dreamy landscape to a wide-eyed state of consciousness textured by humility and sandblasted by the winds that weather life”…it sounds amazing doesn’t it? You read that and think who the hell is this?! Well…let me tell you…this is a snippet from a bio by Las Vegas rockers OTHERWISE. Yes, clearly they spent most of their creative energy on their biography, and settled for one of the most mundane sounding band names of all time in the process…but the question now is, will we truly be swept away by their newest album “Sleeping Lions”…or…are they musically as beige as their own name? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “Angry Heart” and after a brief period of guitar feedback we’re met with some fairly standard metal-tinged hard rock riffs…vocally Adrian Patrick is relatively clean, especially within an admittedly catchy chorus, aided by gang-vocal backing…the bass here is on occasion reminiscent of KORN in subtle ways, and I mention this purely to state that, bassist Tony Carboney has a better name than the band he plays in…say them both out loud…told you. If I may get back on track, we follow up with the title track and we get more generally run of the mill American alternative radio rock…fans of say, THEORY OF A DEADMAN or NICKELBACK and the like would probably enjoy this…what I’m certainly not getting, is the dreamy landscape or the feeling of being sandblasted by, anything to be honest, other than, mediocrity…it’s fine, but they set the bar so high with their bio that, this falls so far short…

There are a couple of pleasant tracks on offer here if I’m totally honest, such as “Suffer” with its pop rock melodic tendencies providing easy listening, while “Nothing To Me” drops some solid hard rock hooks…there is a slower fill mid-track which sounds out of place that detracts from an otherwise enjoyable song, before “Weapons” gives us our first real album highlight with it’s incredibly catchy pop qualities…the rest of the album however goes completely arse over tit via its own determination to appease the mighty god Chad Kroeger…just listen to “Crocodile Tears” and “Dead In The Air”…honestly it’s as if they climbed up into the Canadian’s arse, crawled directly into his brain and had him write them songs like some sort of parasitic infection…either that or there’s a case for plagiarism here…”Blame” on the other hand is effectively yawn inducing while, “Bloodline Lullaby” just…shoot me, someone…anyone? This is every clichéd romantic movie epiphany / last dance soundtrack rolled into one song…”Won’t Stop” ends things on a livelier note but, it redeems nothing. They promised the world and more in their biography and what they delivered was nothing more than a rip-off of a rock music meme…Sleeping Lions? Sleeping Gav…[4]

It’s been an incredibly nostalgic year for SAXON…as they slowly approach their 40th anniversary, the Yorkshire based veterans have taken us on a trip down memory lane of late, celebrating their heritage and educating new generations on how they became one of the most important and influential metal bands of all time, flying the flag for not only metal, but Britain too as part of the NWOBHM (New wave of British heavy metal). Inspired by the likes of IRON MAIDEN and MOTORHEAD, Saxon, led by front-man Biff Byford, have had one hell of an illustrious and prolific career, releasing an incredible 21 studio albums and in 2017 they’ve been dusting off some classics courtesy of some new collectors sets. Earlier this year we were treated to “The Solid Book Of Rock”…a wonderfully packaged set of albums covering everything from 1991’s “Solid Ball Of Rock” all the way to 2009’s “Into The Labyrinth”…showcasing the bands ability to withstand the test of time in an ever changing musical landscape…but they’re going further this time…far back, right to the beginning with “Decade Of The Eagle”…set for release on November 17th, “Decade…” highlight’s the band’s first ten years; from their emergence through the most commercially successful years of their career which included gold and platinum selling albums and multiple chart positions…let’s check it out…

The two-disk compilation appropriately opens up with a selection of tracks from 1979’s historical debut; “Saxon” and it’s here where it all began…given the time, we were in the very earliest days of metal and it’s a far cry from today’s brutality, with a sound having borrowed more from rock ’n’ roll. Here you can hear a band trying to find their feet, with “Stallions Of The Highway” and “Militia Guard” proving to be raw and pacey…the production quality wasn’t great but it’s here their journey began, marking a milestone in metal history. From there however, things would pick up big time…as follow up release, 1980’s “Wheels Of Steel” sped up the charts to their highest ever position at number 5 and the band would never look back. With better production quality and a sound more rooted in blues rock, the band would release one of their most popular songs of all time “747 (Strangers In The Night)” and the seeds were sewn for success…seeds that quickly blossomed as they released not one but TWO albums in 1980, following up with “Strong Arm Of The Law”. While not charting as high, reaching number 11…it made up for a lack of standout hits, despite “Dallas 1pm” (Written about the Kennedy assassination) with a more consistent writing quality and the album is considered one of the best in the bands discography by many, many fans. Just a year later then, they broke into the top 10 once more with 1981’s “Denim And Leather”…there was no stopping them! With subtle nods to their beginnings, they included a slicker, classic rock feel into their sound and the title track became an anthem for the metal lifestyle as we came to know it, musically and fashionably transcending style…

Disk two then gets us going with highlights from 1983’s “Power And The Glory” returning yet again to the Top 20 kicking off with “This Town Rocks” and a return to their frenetic hard rock roots, paying homage to the likes of Motorhead, contrasting the generally slower “Midas Touch” which focused on a catchy chorus balancing a more ballad-driven piece, delivering another solid collection of songs. In 1984 we saw Saxon release their final album for the Carrere record label; “Crusader”…a touch softer than previous releases, it garnered its criticisms, and the single “Sailing To America” does suffer from repetition, an anticlimactic end to the relationship with their label. Their form soon picked up again however when they joined to EMI and released 1985’s “Innocence Is No Excuse” and the bulk of disk two’s content is taken from this…tracks like “Rockin’ Again” and “Rock ‘N’ Roll Gypsy” again using classic rock and slick guitar tones to their advantage, which can also be said for 1986’s “Rock The Nations”…Saxon, already established by now, dabble in subtle glam-rock elements for tracks such as “Waiting For The Night” and shock horror, using acoustics and piano for “Northern Lady”, showing they were far from a one-trick pony with another power ballad not sounding out of place whatsoever, before we round off the collection and the decade with a couple of tracks from 1988’s “Destiny”, which includes a cover of “Ride Like The Wind” by Texan songwriter CHRISTOPHER CROSS and the scorching “Red Alert”, ending the collection on a hard rocking high note.

Whereas sounds and styles have changed multiple times over the years, with new genres and fads coming and going with each decade…one thing that will always stand the test of time is metal and here, Saxon prove that like the rock royalty they are…having pounded out so many classics in such a relatively short space of time shows just how important and influential a band they are, even to this day, paving the way for many acts such as the mighty METALLICA…this collection of songs highlights the heydays of heavy metal in all of its unashamed glory and Saxon were at the forefront of a revolution, helping lay the foundations of one of the world’s longest standing genres of music…many would argue it’s more than that, many would say it’s a way of life and thanks to bands like Saxon, we still live for the denim and leather. [8]