Now, I don't know nothing about no kittens. I got three cats at the social club, they're good for keeping the rats away. But these KITTIE girls? They make more noise than when Tony "The Hammer" accidentally drove the Cadillac through Mrs. Benedetto's storefront!
This "Spit XXV" - and what's with all these Roman numerals? Are we trying to impress the Pope here? It's got four songs on it. Four! Back in my day, you paid for an album, you got twelve, maybe fifteen tracks. These kids today, they're running some kinda racket, but I respect the hustle.
The first song, "Brackish XXV", I looked up "brackish" in my dictionary (The one I use to press flowers for my wife's funeral arrangements business). It means salty water. You know what else is salty? My cousin Rocco after he lost fifty grand at the track. But these girls, they're screaming about brackish this and brackish that, and I gotta tell ya - it's growing on me like a fungus.
Then there's "Charlotte XXV", Now, Charlotte, that was my first wife's sister's name. Beautiful woman, terrible cook. Could burn water. But this Charlotte song? It's got what my nephew calls "aggressive energy". Sounds like when my crew found out somebody was skimming from the poker games. Very passionate, very loud, very... how you say... therapeutic.
"Do You Think I'm A Whore XXV", Hey, I'm a family man! I don't ask these kinda questions! But the music, it's like when Paulie gets really worked up about the garbage routes. All that intensity, all that... what's the word... angst. These girls got more fight in them than a bag full of wildcats.
And the title track, "Spit XXV", now this one, this one I understand. Spitting. That's universal language, you know? You spit when you're disgusted, you spit when you're angry, you spit when somebody disrespects the family. These Canadian girls, they get it.
The producer, this Garth Richardson fella - sounds like a nice Irish boy - he did the original back in 1999. That's the same year I opened my third pizzeria! Good year for business. He comes back 25 years later to work with these girls again. That's loyalty. That's respect. That's what we call "doing business the right way".
Now, I don't understand why they gotta scream so much. When I got something to say, I just lean in close and whisper. Much more effective, believe me. But these girls, they got what we call in the business "presence". When they walk in a room - or in this case, when their music plays - everybody knows they're there.
My verdict? Listen, I still don't know what the hell a "nu-metal" is (Sounds like some kinda modern art garbage to me), but these Kittie girls? They remind me of my late wife - small, sweet-looking, but don't cross them or they'll tear your throat out.
Four cannoli out of five. Would recommend to anyone who needs music for, intimidation purposes.




























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