At this time of posting, the 2026 Eurovision Song Contest has already wrapped up in Vienna, with the 25 grand finalists all having performed for your votes. With that being said, I have to extend my congratulations to first-time winners Bulgaria, as DARA brought home the victory with the song “Bangaranga” from CD-1's review, after a hotly contested, down to the wire score with second place Israel, which again, draws more controversy than any song is worth. They are the reason five nations pulled out of the contest this year, yet they continue to be allowed in. Russia takes flak...I call double standards for a supposedly non-political show. But I digress, too much red tape. Redder than Palestinian blood. Can I digress twice in a row? I do. 

Politics aside, it’s only fair that I give CD-2 and the remaining seventeen artists fair representation, and share my thoughts on the good, the bad, and the UK. Let’s at least TRY to stay united by music... as we continue our Eurovision journey, covering Vienna 2026... 

ITALY: SAL DA VINCI - "PER SEMPRE SI"
Salvatore Michael Sorrentino, who isn't in-fact Leonardo's long-lost great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, was born in 1969 in New York, who as this years Eurovision Grandpa (Being the oldest competitor) is a long-time singer, song writer and actor. He's even hosted "Pazzi Di Pizza" on Food Network. Is this a recipe for success or am I going to have to go all Gordon Ramsay on his asparagus? I mean I like pineapple on pizza, but this guy uses durian and extra virgin Castrol oil. It's got string elements layered under some funky pop aesthetics, but, less "Uptown Funk" and more Little Italy District Pimp: The Musical. Imagine being sat in a struggling Frankie & Bennies cutting into a cold calzone...this is playing in the background. The song translates as "Forever Yes"...mama mia I hope to god not... [3]

LATVIA: ATVARA - "ENA"
Liene Atvara Sturmane was enrolled into music school by her mother, where she has studied conducting, singing and vocalisation in jazz and pop, which begs the question; what is the excuse for this? It translates as "In The Shade"...but she's hardly a hardy geranium. A slow, harmonic slab of a dreary ballad; it's got some classically inspired operatic high notes, barely lifting an otherwise hushed, heavisome offering. My Latvian score is low...low but fair. [2]

LITHUANIA: LION CECCAH - "SOLO QUIRO MAS"
Tomas Alencikas is what happens when a member of the Blue Man Group gets Lithuanian poisoning. I was afraid if he lost he'd call on Galactus but luckily he surfed his silver-ass into 22nd place. (I wonder who scored less?). Apparently he has a masters and bachelor's degree in music theatre, as well as being big in Lithuania's drag scene, which is funny, because ultimately this song is a bit of a drag, I don't care how you dress it up. It's got soft harmonic vocal sections leading into electronic pop, and the rhythmic beats of the chorus are like a musical representation of neoclassical Rococo stylistics. It means "I only want more"...to which I say, I really don't. [2]

LUXEMBOURG: EVA MARIJA - "MOTHER NATURE"
Without wanting to call her a velociraptor; clever girl. Speaking five languages, she studied song-writing at the Institute Of Contemporary Music Performance in London, which on paper sounds like either FAT BOY SLIM's "Praise You" for the privileged, or upper-class grime to me? In actual fact, it's far less entertaining. In my head now I want to hear Chris Eubank spitting bars...lyrically beat boxing if you will. Instead we've got this innocently pleasant song of self-awareness, self-discovery, personal growth, healing and reconnection. A percussive track with ample folk-pop elements, it channels the likes of RAE MORRIS and FLORENCE WELCH. [6]

MALTA: AIDAN - "BELLA"
Aidan Cassar has been a previous Junior AND Eurovision competitor, not without controversy faced for entering a non-eligible song at one point. Bad boy? Nah he just dresses like Brokeback Malta. Here we have an acoustic-driven, soft jazz, orchestral romantic offering. It's honestly beautifully composed in a, imagine Giacomo Gianniotti was James Bond kind of way. One Bajtra Spritz, not shaken, not stirred, but sensually whipped with the finest Bizzilla topped with a Loquat. Very croon-heavy...imagine Moonraker meets "Moon River" under a full moon while someone moons at you across the bank. I'm calling you out random man in Paris on holiday with my grandparents...we have you and your arse on photo. True story. [4]

MOLDOVA: SATOSHI - "VIVA MOLDOVA"
Vlad Sabajuc here blends traditional pan-pipes and Eastern instrumentation, with modern pop and rap production, fuelled by an almost drum & bass rhythmic underlay, coupled with clap-along percussion. It's lively and up-tempo, with a melodic hook-rich chorus but the general rapped verses are quite monotone in delivery, which is jarring for how genuinely fun this track is. Long live Moldova? I mean it DOES have underground wine cities apparently? 12 points purely for dystopian alcoholics! 1.5 million bottles? Give me a week...[5]

MONTENEGRO: TAMARA ZIVKOVIC - "NOVA ZORA"
A vocalist AND a flautist? You expect SOME level of whimsy. Alas, we get another dance-pop anthem that I expect to get HEAVY remix treatment in European DJ circles. Church-esque gang vocals accompanied by ringing bells, it's got an underlying holy feel to it bridging cultural and generational gaps. It translates as "New Dawn" and I can imagine watching the Sun rise following an all night rave at Budva. Take your own pills, a fiver a bottle of water and sheep tipping is easier than cows. You'll have a decent weekend, trust me, I'm a Welshman. [5]

NORWAY: JONAS LOVV - "YA YA YA"
GUITARS! A welcome dose of indie-rock this is, honestly. If you're a fan of say, THE SHERLOCKS, or for a better example, previous Eurovision winners MANESKIN, then you'll get a kick out of this. It's up-beat, it's got a real sense of swagger, some fantastic groove and bluesy rhythm, coupled with an easily sing-along structure...this is simplistic, fantastic guitar pop. It's such a fun track, honestly, I LOVV this ya?! [8]

POLAND: ALICJA - "PRAY"
An instant in-your-face frolic into the inclusion of church bells and gospel gubbins means we're equal parts preachy and performative. I personally don't care for it conceptually, but I won't deny Alicja here has a wonderfully commanding vocal presence; the lady can sing. It does descend into this hip-hop infused urban-sermon which takes away any class the track started with, though it does build into an entertaining crescendo. A metaphor for her own growth, self belief and hope in the form of manifestations, but not even Sheldon's mother gives this 12 points. [3]

PORTUGAL: BANDIDOS DO CANTE - "ROSA"
Imagine a barber-shop quintet without the joviality. The vocal harmony is on point I'll give them that, and the gentle acoustic tones compliment the delicate string sections wonderfully...I won't lie it's a beautifully composed little track, however...it's a frustratingly boring track. Innocent, pleasant and quaint in all of the right ways, but entertaining in all the wrong ones. [2]

ROMANIA: ALEXANDRA CAPITANESCU - "CHOKE ME"
Winner of season 11 of The Voice...you'd think on face value, oh another one of them...we get a lot of entrants from variations of talent shows, BUT, Alexandra is a little different. She's already an under-graduate and aiming for her masters degree in medical physics, all the while delivering arguably the best hard-rock song of this years entire competition. The lady clearly thrives on pressure and performance. It's gritty, with commanding percussion, subtle yet sublime operatic influences, blending artists like HALESTORM with more prominent European symphonic metal peers. Being a rock entry aside, it's not without it's controversies, as it was flagged for romanticising sexual violence and erotic asphyxiation. Bunch of vanilla prudes on these juries I swear...SUFOCA-MA MAMI! [9]

SAN MARINO: SENHIT - "SUPERSTAR"
Senhit Zadik Zadik is a well-established singer in the Italian music scene. Having performed around Europe in theatre productions of BIG shows like "Fame" and "The Lion King", as well as having four albums and an EP under her belt, it makes sense that this is her third time officially representing San Marino. It would have been four but, Covid was a thing. Automatic nil points from lock-down but that's not her fault. Nevertheless she is here, aiming to do better than their football team. It's a fun, bouncy, funk-driven dance-pop track that has subtle elements of DAFT PUNK in places, and honestly its the track JAMELIA wishes she had written for her. It's energetic, bassy in groovy way, and most importantly it's catchy...hell even BOY GEORGE lends his vocals to this, proving that Eurovision is THE culture club. Nothing wrong with this at all. [7]

SERBIA: LAVINA - "KRAJ MENE"
Their name translates as avalanche, which on face value alone prepares you for a force of nature; pummelling and relentless, and as this years most prominently metal performance, it fits. They formed in 2020 and with just the one album, "Odyssey" under their belt, they are still finding their feet, but have toured and are getting their reps in. In terms of stage presence, it's very Anne Rice, and there is a fine line between Lavina and Lestat to be truthful, but I'm all for it. It gives LORD OF THE LOST vibes, bridging hushed, brooding vocals with more intense, physically demanding percussion driven metal. It's passionate, pained and important for diversity. Is Europe as accepting? It's twenty years since LORDI won...who knows...Count Von Count counts the points....one ha ha ha...two ha ha ha...three....it's going to be a long night...[7]

SWEDEN: FELICIA - "MY SYSTEM"
Felicia Agneta Eriksson...has been compared to the likes of CASCADA. Early chav/townie dance vibes, and to be fair you could easily expect this blaring from some Vauxhall Corsa driven wanker's Halfords sound-system, in the Summer, probably trying to sell substances to or if not groom kids. You think you are cool, but you are not. Generic as fuck dance pop with nasally vocals. My system? 404 error, point not found. Ministry Of Sounds like getting fingered in an alley to DJ Sammy on an old Sony Ericsson wearing knock-off Uggs to a paedophile. Because you love him. This is the soundtrack to toxic teenage girl energy. The Lambrini is probably both warm and shoplifted. [5]

SWITZERLAND: VERONICA FUSARO - "ALICE"
SMOKIE once asked, who the fuck is Alice? Well, being from 1977 makes it a cold case which I am now officially reopening with the Bundespolizei to work out if there is any connection here. And judging by the music video, it's a valid question to be honest. It tackles identity within the LGBTQ+A on a postcard please community, focusing on secrecy and longing. The setting of a wedding day hammers home the message of should've would've could've which I believe emphasises the song, but without that visual it does negate a sense of impact. Though I appreciate the fact it tackles issues which even in 2026 many young people are still afraid of for fear of judgement. It's a powerful track in a societal sense, a safe space for women, but musically it's a plodding, indie-rock number that blends latter day ARCTIC MONKEYS with say, THE PRETTY RECKLESS and a subtle doo-wop delivery. Switzerland...playing it safe while being ever so slightly risqué...[6]

UKRAINE: LELEKA - "RIDNYM"
Viktoriia Leleka has bachelors degrees in performing arts, jazz vocals and composition...and to be fair it shows. She co-wrote this song and it's an incredibly emotive, powerful ballad of adversity, progression and defiance which is apropos to the STILL ongoing situation in Ukraine. It means "To The Dear Ones" and the Disney-esque ballad includes heartstrings in its instrumentation. Honestly it's a beautiful track blending orchestral pop with traditionalism, acoustics and soft, sombre vocals.....including THAT note. Her vocal control, escalating in pitch, the operatic crescendo is absolutely perfect and as a SONG contest, Leleka has more than earned her flowers here. This is simply stunning. [8]

UNITED KINGDOM: LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - "EINS, ZWEI, DREI"
Over the years, as a music review blog space. you may have noticed certain levels of cynicism, sarcasm and patterns of arguably biased content. This is no different. The UK is part of the Big 4 which means we don't have to qualify because of financial and other reasons. Does it mean we deserve to be here? Absolutely not. I mean on face value we've got an energetic, up-beat performance with audience interaction, the techno-pop aesthetic is catchy and in typical British humour it is depreciating, self-aware and sadly self-harming. It tries to be inclusive and immersive but comes across as if not offensive but patronising on a grand stage. I can see where its aiming for forgiveness, it's like look Europe, we love and appreciate you, it's a very post-Brexit song, and it's very on the nose AND tongue in cheek, delivered with the cheeky charm that can only be described as "Park Life" for those who like a bump and a key in a pub toilet. A paracetamol to quench the pain? Mate you want to be on stronger stuff than that. Sam Bartle is a talented musician and engineer...but look mum, no points. [2]

Some of you may be thinking, Gav…how many reviews can you shoehorn references to Covid-19 into? Well…my friend, as it happens, as many as I want. You see while a lot of you are crying over 2020 festival season being buggered into next year, I’ve got my own agenda. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy festival experiences, but I am instead honestly quite reclusive, so one of the things I personally look forward to every year is the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.

Long-time readers will know I usually cover the show in some way shape or form, be it a run-down of finalists, covering past winner’s releases, or even just live-Tweeting the event…this year, I can’t enjoy this. This year I couldn’t look forward to sitting in front of my TV on the rare occasion I do, to watch Graham Norton sarcastically bury a plethora of countries. This year I couldn’t respectfully raise a glass of Bailey’s to Sir Terry Wogan during song 9, (Who am I kidding it’s a bottle of Jack). This year I couldn’t even get annoyed by the very political voting system I expect each and every fucking year as if it’s some shocking conspiracy. Covid-19 brought an end to all of that…and for that…I despise you, even though you’ve given me two months off work paid. 1st world problems, yes, but still. Alas…what I CAN do at least is channel my inner Jim Bowen, and have a look at who could have won, as Eurovision still at least released the 41-track CD of each countries entry. With that said…Good Evening Rotterdam! Open up, and let’s shine a light on the performers to see who gets 12 points….

​I’m going to preface this by stating that no I am NOT going to be analysing every one of the 41 entries as frankly I don’t even think lockdown is long enough for me to do that, but I will mull over my personal highlights, and as usual, the Eurovision double-album does things alphabetically, so we start with Albania. Their entry is “Fall From The Sky”, performed by ARILENA ARA and it’s one of two primary Eurovision tropes…heartfelt ballad, or fucking bonkers. This one falls into ballad category and as an opening track it’s a fairly safe one. The light piano allowing Arilena’s emotive, powerful vocals to really shine and there’s a dramatic intensity to this performance; a wonderful start. If you enjoyed that ballad however, hold on to that thought because you’re going to get sick of them over the next say, I don’t know… album? 

Armenia’s entry “Chains On You” by ATHENA MANOUKAIN tries to modernise things with some middle-eastern inspired trap and mumble rap…as far as the genre goes it’s fine, it’s the kind of thing you’d find Charlie Sloth spinning, but it’s not for me. Australia are still participating even though their initial anniversary guest spot was a few years ago now, and their entry “Don’t Break Me”, performed by MONTAIGNE is…another pop ballad. Granted the modern production and bold yet husky vocals find her somewhere between say, DUA LIPA and SIA in some ways, and it’s not bad. Onion Bhaji are up next…sorry, no, Azerbaijan are up next with “Cleopatra” performed by EFENDI and we get more middle-eastern / Egyptian musical influence, before leading into more Western pop stylistics…up until the part where they start summoning demons and shit…honestly that’s what it sounds like. Seriously, I thought my desk was going to start floating or my eyeballs were going to bleed!

Let’s see what else we have here…Belgium’s entry “Release Me” by HOOVERPHONIC in its own ways sounds like a BTEC version of BILLIE EILISH doing a Bond Theme…that’s the best and only way of describing that, you’re going to have to get way off of my back about that one. Skipping ahead now but keeping a colour scheme it’s Germany who have the next real highlight with the track “Violent Thing” by BEN DOLIC. Sadly the track is about as violent as two kittens having a pillow fight…I was expecting this year’s rock entry or something but we get another up-tempo pop offering. It’s got some brass elements and a bit of funk, and an impressive high note, resulting in quite a catchy little track, but it’s not what I was hoping for. Speaking of getting my hopes up, I ALWAYS look for Finland’s entry since LORDI won it in 2006, and this year, their entry “Looking Back” by AKSEL was…meh. It’s a pleasant indie-pop piece with ample melody, nothing like Lordi, or even SAARA AALTO from 2018; disappointing this one I’m afraid, you let me down Finland.

Next up, we have the United Kingdom…and as a Welshman, you might think I’m going to be biased here, that I’m going to sing praises to our entry as if they’re God’s gift to mainstream music…well I can assure you, that you are wrong. JAMES NEWMAN is our entry for this year with the track “My Last Breath” and I would sooner give up my last breath than have this song win the competition, despite it making things logistically easier for me to attend in 2021. Another copy and paste type of emotional male-led pop song akin to anyone from JAMES ARTHUR or SAM SMITH or any generic bollocks like that…it’s just so bloody boring! Georgia on the other hand, do somewhat peak my interest…”Take Me As I Am” by TORNIKE KIPIANI is, admittedly, lyrically fucking awful, let me make that clear, but the deep, electronic tinged moody indie tones easily mirror the styles and sounds of say, IMAGINE DRAGONS or AWOLATION etc, and this is arguably as dark as things get this year.

Skipping eagerly ahead now as we’re still only about half way here, we get Ireland and honestly…this would have been a contender for the competitions winner to break their own record, securing eight competition victories. “Story Of My Life” by LESLEY ROY gives off some serious KATY PERRY vibes…it’s a bouncy, light-hearted absolute banger of a pop anthem. Sure there’s repetition, a little instrumental monotony and some childish qualities but this is the kind of track you’d understand being all over commercial radio this Summer time…never mind the political voting, Covid-19 potentially robbed Ireland of this year’s win! Do they have any contenders however? Why in fact yes they do, and there is some STRONG competition from Iceland, and who some may say are favourites to win; DAðI FREYR with the song “Think About Things”. A synth-rich, full on disco-funk driven indie track…it is so simple in execution with the most basic of hooks, so much groove in so little effort, this is superb.

Jumping forward then we have THE ROOP with their entry “On Fire” for Lithuania…and it’s another basic pop track with pulsing electronic elements, dance-pop qualities with all of the synth laden hooks, it’s not as good as past winners such as MÅNS ZELMERLÖW for example but it’s along the same vein and personally I enjoy this, it’s arguably my favourite, despite some questionable vocals in places…and the video is as stated above; fucking bonkers. The rest of the album sadly doesn’t really throw up many particular highlights or memorable tracks, other than “Uno” by LITTLE BIG representing Russia. The “Skibidi” outfit had my attention going into the competition don’t get me wrong, but they’ve done better. Granted they’ve likely been heavily censored but still! SKIBIDI WA-PA-POW! The video does make me laugh mind…it’s all in the knees fam.

Romania come in with the track “Alcohol You” and I thought I was being offered a pint in broken English to be honest, so imagine my disappointment when ROXEN starts warbling her moody, sultry vocals…a slow, albeit grandiose track , though KORPIKLAANI drink better to be fair. Serbia rock up then with “Hasta La Vista” and the name alone has me hooked…have HURRICANE been sent from the future by Sky Net to secure Eurovision victory? In short…no…imagine someone installed LimeWire on the T-800 and the sheer amount of internet aids rendered it out of order. I’ll be very surprised if you’ll be back. Eventually then, and finally, we find ourselves at Ukraine, listening to “Solovey” by GO_A, and luckily, we conclude the album on an unorthodox yet enjoyable note. The traditional native tones of the vocal performance and woodwind elements coupled with a solid dance-pop aesthetic allow for a genuinely soothing and fun listen…I mean I haven’t got a fucking clue what they are saying but I like it!

After all of that, it really is heart-breaking to know that, given Eurovision’s six-decade legacy and tradition, none of the above entries will be able to represent their respective nations and try to put themselves in the history books. Granted some of these songs work better as a stage performance with character and gimmicks as opposed to straight up audio content, but that doesn’t detract what would have been an entertaining evening of live entertainment and multicultural acceptance of diversity. I know I rant and roast but I honestly enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest…I look forward to it every year, and hopefully it comes back all guns blazing in 2021. Where…who knows…no country has ever done two in a row from winning, so will Holland get to host again on a technicality? We can only wait and see…until then, Europe, you’re a beautiful bunch of bastards, for the record, I didn’t vote for Brexit I voted remain…and as far as Covid-19 goes…nil pois.

It's competition time! Yes! Are you a fan of NIKKI SIXX and fancy getting hold of some goodies? Do you know someone who would appreciate some rockin' stockin' fillers this Christmas? Well look no further! The lovely people over at ELEVEN 7 MUSIC have sent to me a copy of Nikki's New York Times best-selling autobiography "The Heroin Diaries" to give away...PLUS...to go alongside that, I have a copy of "The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack: 10th Anniversary Edition" to give away too...which features the original 13 tracks, plus 3 additional 2017 re-recordings of "Accidents Can Happen", "Girl With The Golden Eyes" and the single "Life Is Beautiful"...to be in with a chance of winning, Like & Follow the GAVTHEGOTHICCHAV Facebook page, and answer this simple question;

"Nikki is infamous for his multiple overdoses due to his love of heroin...and has seen numerous doctors in his time, but, what doctor found Mötley Crüe success at the top of the US Billboard Charts back in 1989?" Was it;

A] Dr. Seuss 
B] Dr. Dre
C] Dr. Feelgood
D] Dr. Acula

Leave your answer, along with your name in the comments below this post and a winner will be chosen at random. I'll even wrap the prizes for you myself, gift tags, ribbons the lot! The competition closes Monday, December 11th. Good luck!