Remember the phenomenon that was ‘Chuck Norris Facts’? The man / minor deity can do so many astonishing yet equally absurd things, like, being able to make fire by rubbing ice cubes, or, being the only person able to kick you in the back of the face, or even being able to speak French…in Russian. I could go on (Literally I can read them for hours and laugh to myself quite contently) but it’s that last one that tediously links me to today’s band because I am unable to just, review things normally. Yes, allow me to introduce you to today’s band; L’HOMME ABSURDE.

Hailing from Moscow, Russia, yet with a French name that translates as ‘The Absurd Human’, L’Homme Absurde are a progressive post-hardcore five-piece, consisting of vocalist Alexey Slavin, guitarists Alexandr Safronov & Roman Savenkov, bassist Pavel Gorshkov and drummer Evgeny Loboda, and they’ve been gradually building their reputation since their formation in 2016. With their fusion of metalcore and melodic black metal, they hope to continue to spread their absurdity across Europe with their newest album “Belong”…but do they belong in my ears? Noob Heavy PR asked me to check it out…

The album opens up with “0” which is pretty appropriate given the way this album kicks off…it’s all about momentum, all is still as we get nothing but relaxed percussion and some semi-dreamscape acoustic instrumentation while the record comes to life, as it’s pulse strengthens,  but we suddenly find ourselves enveloped in a blanket of brutally tortured vocals and a more metallic approach in tone, despite its melodic retention. It gives us a sense of artistic drive and direction early on, for sure. First track proper then “Rot” capitalises on the surging blackened metal tendencies the band have by pummelling the listener with a barrage of semi-psychotic instrumentation. Equally melodic yet mauling; it summarises the bands sounds wonderfully.

This can be said of album highlight “Separation” too which takes an almost early post-punk direction with the initial guitars, before we break into more snarled vocals and post-hardcore riff work; this is arguably as catchy as things get over the course of these eight tracks, finding it’s home between the likes of KVELERTAK and MAN THE MACHETES. It’s up-beat and rocking, all the while groove rich and melodic, and a superb piece of modern metal. Elsewhere “Burn” and “Forsaken” continue this approach of searing blackened melodies while incorporating subtle doom atmospherics into the more traditional metal guitar work, before we eventually finish up on ”Sanctuary”. The semi-acoustic opening and soft vocals allowing for a sense of closure and finality to wind the mood down somewhat…or so we thought, as this too erupts into a visceral barrage of pained vocals at the tracks midway point, peaking with a final flurry, before the low-key instrumentation transitions right back into “0” and we appropriately come full circle, as the album essentially loops, which is cleverly done.

Overall, while Russia isn’t exactly prominent in the world metal scene in terms of household names, L’Homme Absurde are clearly equipped to throw down with some of their more established Scandinavian neighbours. Blackened metalcore may sound a touch niche on paper but there’s enough here in terms of subtle variety to at least warrant checking this out for most fans of alternative heavy music. It’s a solid album and one that could potentially find them larger audiences across Europe, and to suggest otherwise would be, well, absurd. [6]

OK so, back in May I debuted a new blog feature which I dubbed the "Unlucky Dip", where I take a break from reviewing full length albums and EP's, to give the singles a chance. It not only allows me to cover a wider variety of artists and genres in one swoop, but it reminds me of albums that will be coming out, and helps me clear more of my never ending barrage of emails. Last time around I was a little mean to one or two of the artists, but as I did point out, this feature IS a sort of cross between speed dating and a comedy roast. Luckily for these seven new artists I generally like all of the tracks I'm about to talk about, which is rare...unluckily for you however this may not be as much of an enjoyable read as the last one! Anyway, with that said, let's get into some music.

I'd like to kick things off with some genuine positivity and excitement. THE SOUNDS are one of the bands I can thank Bam Margera for getting me into way back in the day, and while I was happy to have them back with their EP "The Tales That We Tell" in 2017, we haven't had a full album from Maja and co in seven years!

"Safe And Sound" is the latest single, taken from the highly anticipated new album "Things We Do For Love", which drops June 12th. Originally planned for a May release but put back due to Covid-19, their blend of lightly electronic tinged indie rock 'n' roll sounds as distinct and fresh as ever here...I guess you could say they haven't missed a Tony the beat! I'm very much looking forward to this album and you can expect to find it in my end of year lists for sure.

This one was a submission from the people over at Pop Rush Music and as far as I can tell, this is a stand alone single, as there's been no mention to me of any releases to follow this up. The single in question; "Hunters & Wolves" is by an artist by the name of JORDAN LAKE. Not to be confused with the reservoir, Jordan was born in North Carolina and found his love for singing very early on.

At the age of 4 he became a church singer at his local parish and has had a passion for performing ever since. Now older and having relocated to the West coast, Jordan is writing mature, soulful and emotive pop music that in it's own ways bridges the likes of ADAM LAMBERT with RAG 'N' BONE MAN. Listen below and let me know what you think!

Well..this escalated quickly! GAEREA are a self-confessed cathartic black metal outfit from Portugal, and they were brought to my attention by the folk over at Season Of Mist. 

"Null" is the first track to be taken off their up-coming third album "Limbo" which is released on July 24th and if this track is anything to go by, the six-track 50-minute album is going to be one hell of a journey. There are European tour plans in place for the beginning of 2021, though they are scheduled to play a UK exclusive show in London on October 31st at the Nabucca, which you may want to keep an eye on if you're a fan of black and death metal, as it's part of the Subterranean Manifestation II line-up. Hopefully it goes ahead, and I'll say it again...fuck Covid-19.

This one is arguably the weakest of the seven tracks I'm going through today but that's purely on account the other 6 tracks, as this is still a fun little single and I'm actually not trying to be mean for once. 360 PHOENIX FLIP is the new (Albeit convoluted) moniker by which Mark Lovett now goes by.

Combining his love of skate-punk and artists such as NOFX and RUFIO, with his already experienced background in song production and EDM, he brings us his debut single "Pyromaniac" and the best way to describe it I believe would be, somewhere between OWL CITY and REGGIE & THE FULL EFFECT. Make of that what you will, but I like this and I look forward to what else he has in store. Maybe you'll find him in the new Tony Hawk remastered game soundtrack? At this time of writing I have no links to share with you, as the SoundCloud link was private...sorry.

Now this...this one is fucking bold. GHOST, who you may be familiar with as arguably the biggest rising metal / alternative rock band on the planet, helped cement their status with the song "Square Hammer" from the "Popestar" EP. BEFORE SUNDAY, are a London based duo who have only recently released their debut EP, yet here we find them covering Ghost...and the track isn't even a part of their EP!

Yes thanks to Angels PR, the duo have been in touch with label-mate Marianna from PROJECT RENEGADE and other talented musician friends, to collaborate on this lock-down cover. To be fair, instrumentally at least, they've done the song justice as it barely strays from the original in tone, it's quite a by numbers cover, but naturally they aren't replacing Tobias on vocals, so that's where they differ, although they've stayed true to the original video too in their own ways, taking limitations into account. It's a brave cover, but no real complaints for execution. 

In case you're wondering why there is no art work for this single, it's because the band didn't supply any jpeg files of the artwork. Plenty of photo's of the band, sure, but none of the artwork. The image included in their press kit isn't usable sadly as I was unable to separate and save it to file. Could I message them and ask for a jpeg of the image? I could, of course I could...but it's really not worth the effort.

Anyway, JULIPER SKY are an up-and-coming indie-pop outfit based out of Manchester, UK, and having already released their debut EP this year entitled "Visions Of A New Age", they continue to release separate singles. Opinions vary as to how effective and efficient this is from a marketing stand point...on one hand you can keep fresh content coming and keep up the exposure and relevance...on the other hand, and this is something I believe personally, is that it's annoying and I'd rather you just keep the material for the 2nd EP...let's be honest most of the tracks are going to end up on the debut album anyway, so many artists do it, and I just find it all pointless myself. I digress..."Afterglow" is the kind of light pop-based indie that might appeal to fans of BLOSSOMS for example. You'll have to take my word for it though as again, it comes out on June 26th, and I have no Bandcamp, Spotify or Youtube links to share with you. I might review the EP, give you a better idea.

Today then we finish up on this absolute gem, and another genuine bit of excitement. MUSHROOMHEAD have been going damn near thirty years now and having gone through a couple of line-up changes, they still have an incredibly prolific yet criminally underrated back catalog of albums. 

Having always faced criticism for being SLIPKNOT knock-offs, they never hit the heights they deserved to, but hopefully that will change on their upcoming new album "A Wonderful Life"; their first since 2014! The latest single promoting the album; "The Heresy" see's the real debut of new full time vocalist Ms. Jackie, as well a returning J Mann to bring some welcome nostalgia and heritage to their sound. The clean female vocals add a new dynamic which works really with their heavy, dystopian, underground progressive grunge metal style, and the political message of the single simply adds relevance. I cannot wait for this album, which comes out June 19th via Napalm Records.

So this review was not on my schedule…it wasn’t submitted to me as a request, nor was it generally even on my radar. Quite frankly I had absolutely no idea who the fuck these were, however, a good friend of mine Rob De Boer lovingly forwarded them to me. I’ve known Rob a few years now through mutual friends and a mutual love of HIM, and all things Jackass related, and the last time I saw him properly was when we saw CKY at Manchester. Fun night…Matt Deis got lost in the venue he was playing, and I think there was a stabbing…good gig though.

I digress…Rob has recently started up his own podcast called SETTING THE TONE, where he takes a moment to go over his thoughts and opinions of various new singles from up and coming artists, and generally discuss relevant topics in the music industry; openly sharing his views and is worthy of your support. He was sent this EP to check out and do a piece on, and wanted to know what I thought of them myself.  Now I don’t know Rob’s final thoughts on the artist, we’re a little different in our approach…but those of you who are regular readers can probably guess where this is going…

The band in question, are FIGHT THE TORNADO and I immediately hope their influences include Matt Hardy 1.0. Consisting of members Jonny Young on vocals and multi-instrumentation, and Lindzi North on vocals and…sanity maintenance? Both of whom were former members of the symphonic metal band CURSE OF DAWN (Part of me wonders if they were fired…harsh you say? Patience you must have my young Padawan) though we find them gearing up for the release of their debut EP “Maelstrom Of Thought” on June 26th. With that tornado in mind, are they going to blow us away or simply just suck? Let’s find out…

The EP begins with “Mercurial Inventions” and truth be told, the intro is actually promising…it’s got a light, bubbly electronic aura and sounds like it’s about to delve into some nostalgic synth pop…but without the slightest hint of transition we’re thrust into a barrage of progressive nu metal riffage and it’s like, where the actual fuck did this come from? You know that meme with the dog sat in a room on fire, stating that this is fine? This is the soundtrack to that image. It’s so off-kilter and jarring you can’t help but wonder if this really was intentional, and that’s before we even get to the vocals. Fleeting between snarling and angelic, though neither of them hit the mark; it’s like, I would have PERSONALLY paid for the use of autotune for you to save myself the grief of hearing this.

We follow this with EP highlight “Comfort Zone” and yes I actually said highlight there…we start off in a similar fashion combining pulsing electronica with metallic riffs but here it’s all blended noticeably better, as in, it’s actually blended. Vocally then, I want to point out that the snarls in ways remind me of NEW PROJECT and the aggressive aspects of this work, but when we get to the cleaner, melodic vocals it’s an actual dumpster fire. The chorus manages to hold a note, an albeit incredibly flat and lifeless one, but that is an achievement, trust me. The same issues arise during “Sensory Deprivation” and the title is more than fitting as I would sooner be deprived of my own sense of hearing than deal with this. How bad can this unconventionally tuned singing be I hear you ask? Well…here are just SOME ways to categorise this; a mute yodeller with a sore throat,  a wok full of spoons falling down the up-escalator like some painfully cacophonous slinky, the shared harmony of two stray cats shagging in the back lane. Not convinced? How about Wes Scantlin covering NIRVANA?

Sadly my friends, we aren’t done…the title track is an instrumental that to its credit, delivers conceptually, I’ll give it that. It goes from progressive rock and metal riffs, including a decent solo with more subtle synth work…before we introduce PAN PIPES out of nowhere, only to be followed up with alternating death metal blast beats and ambient reggaeton. I honestly can’t say ‘what the ever loving fuck’, with the adequate level of conviction here…seriously that was like a non-invasive lobotomy. If that wasn’t enough, “Atlas” kicks in with some goddamn BTEC “Tubular Bells” and I’m like, nope. I’m done. I’m out. Fight The Tornado? I would sooner gamble my genitals in a Dyson V10 Cyclone…and I can guarantee my cries of pain would hold better notes.  [2]

​So back in April, I reviewed an album for All About The Rock called “Italians Die Better”, by B-Movie punks SUPERHORROR. It was somewhat controversial given its title, as it was released during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic (One which we’re actually still in, despite the countries neither here nor there approach to public safety). Their background is plucked straight out of a low-budget zombie slasher, and while I did refer to them as a BTEC MURDERDOLLS, they are at least keeping the horror-punk scene alive. However, diving into my email submissions, I find an album forwarded to me by Stencil PR that predates the Italian’s…

Formed in Budapest, Hungary, THE HELLFREAKS are another seemingly horror-punk inspired outfit, consisting of vocalist Shakey Sue, guitarist Jozzy, bassist Domján Gabi and drummer Budai Béla, though they aren’t quite as tongue-in-cheek or gimmicky. Their own background simply stating that hell was “full” so they came back, but their original sound somewhat contradicts this at least in principle. Sure there were horror elements entwined within their lyricism, but as a generally psychobilly based band, I can’t so much as see them being denied entry to hell because HELL was too full, it’s more likely they were denied entry to an alternative club night for not having ID and exaggerated the story; embarrassed they couldn’t get served WKD. I mean there’s always room in hell for psychobilly!

I digress…over the years however they have adapted their sound to be more befitting of their name and claim, as 2020 finds them releasing their latest album “God On The Run”. With an angrier, seemingly more metallic approach to their writing, let’s see what the almighty father is fleeing…and does it explain the events of 2020 thus far? The album opens up with “Men In Grey” and you can immediately sense the increase in aggression compared to their debut…Sue’s vocals are coarse but retain a level of clarity and melody that drives the chorus hook home, all the while complimenting the more frenetic riff-work wonderfully. This is some enjoyable, up-tempo melodic alternative punk, and a solid start.

Recent single “Red Sky” then follows up and after a brief build we’re thrust into another dose of pacey, melodic alt. rock, combining pop sensibilities with a more vitriolic punk aesthetic…not too dissimilar to our opener but with ever so slightly less attitude; it’s cleaner with more harmony allowing for a generally smoother, easier listen without losing any bite. The rest of the album then  in all fairness sticks to this formula pretty vehemently, fleeting between those same duel aggressive and arresting aspects of their song writing style. “Doldrum Dynasty” is another great example of a simplistic yet really effective chorus hook amidst edgier guitar elements, while “Adrenalized” uses soaring gang vocals and almost pop-punk riffs to great effect, before we eventually finish up on “Tabby”. The odd one out as the slowest paced piece here; it’s got a deeper, darker,pulsing synth underlying some predominantly grunge-influenced hard rock, but this change of pacing is a pleasant one. It’s nice to know that they CAN shake things up a little more at least.

Ultimately while “God On The Run” doesn’t explain the complete shit storm 2020 is turning out to be, what it has done is turned a psychobilly horror-rock band into a more straight up, alternative punk rock monster with a more sleek, serious tone and less of a niche appeal…which is saying something. The only thing going against it is its lack of real overall diversity; as it’s pretty much all systems go until track ten, and while the melodies are tight, it CAN sound a little samey. If you’re a fan of SUMO CYCO and NEW YEARS DAY…check out The Hellfreaks…if they let you in that is. [8]

I get A LOT of emails, not as many as big publications obviously, but for me, I get a lot, and I literally can’t keep up with them all. This means I either take virtually forever getting around to some reviews, resulting in the peak promotion period usually having been and gone, for that I do apologise. Sometimes I forget about submissions entirely, for which I also apologise, and a lot of the time, I’m sent singles. Now, this blog has been running since 2014 and 99% of the content here, bar the odd rare article, is comprised of EP and album reviews. I’ve nothing against the humble single, I miss the days of picking up CD singles in Woolworths wondering what B-Sides you’d be treated to…but writing a full review for just A single is something I’ve always personally deemed a bit of a ball ache.

Going forward, I am going to try to, once a week (The key word being try here, I’m making no promises) present a general collection of single submissions from my inbox in one article, to try and ensure I don’t miss out on potential gems, and more importantly, to also clear some space in my inbox (At this time of writing I have around 650 unread emails…LOL). With that in mind, here are seven randomly selected tracks that I have been sent, that I would like to share with you, in the first GTGC Unlucky Dip; the result of combining Speed Dating with the heartfelt Comedy Roast.

We're going to kick this feature off with a 4-piece from London by the name of HEAVYMAN. Comprising of vocalist/guitarist Charlie Yang, drummer Tom Papaloizou (I'm pretty sure he was in "The League Of Gentlemen"?) bassist Igor Fonseca and lead guitarist Nick Burns, they recently got in touch, stating that were fans of the blog and were themselves fueled by alcohol and sarcasm, asking me to check out their debut single "Baby Jean". How could I possible refuse?

Initially sounding like something you'd hear from early TURBONEGRO, it soon transitions into a more methodical, groove-rich slow jam of a southern blues rock effort. It covers all the bases with some slick guitar work and vocal swagger for some textbook classic blues rock. With more tracks scheduled to be released over the coming months, these are ones to watch.

"Now this is a story all about how my life got, at most, mildly inconvenienced, but I'd like to take a minute just to share this my friend, and talk about this new single by The Fresh Prince Of Bellend".

You know all the meme's with "Now listen here you little shit..."? Well that's essentially me right now with RORY K. A native of downtown Manhattan, New York, Rory was born into a musical family, with his dad having been in the late 80's socio-political rock group BLACK 47. So imagine his dad's disappointment to see Rory here peddling some of the most uninspired, cringe-worthy rap/hip-hop an eleventeen-year-old would perform, on the track "Heat Thru Your Body"...I bet he finds vanilla spicy.

From the intro that sounds like seagulls having a stroke, to the combination of abysmal lyrics and self-indulgent vocals...and the embarrassing video, it's just...no. The bit where Rory is, (I'll use this term loosely) "performing" in front of some street graffiti, why are you holding a mic? You look like an absolute tit mate. And you emailed me three times for this? Assuming I hadn't replied because I couldn't stop dancing to the track? I would sooner invite my enemies to dance upon my grave than dance to this myself. And it's through*...for the record. I'm beginning to regret this new feature already...

I honestly don't know why I get sent this stuff...I'm not against rap and however many hip-hop subcultures there actually are, but it is SO rare I find any that I genuinely like. I can appreciate a flow, or a beat, sure, but there is too much recycled rap out there full of cliches about money, bitches, drugs and ho's and quite frankly I don't care about any of it.

"Twerk It Out" is the new track from Cleveland Ohio based hio-hop veteran DEEJAY CENTIPEDE, who has been spinning records since the 80's, and it features Sonny Vajra and Tee Hova...which...means absolutely nothing to me. It's got a certain 90's vibe going on which I guess you could describe as "fresh", with some soft synths poorly underlying some genuinely irritating clapping percussion. A lot of autotune going on in the vocals, and I can't lie, outside of this blog, I wouldn't listen to this...I'd rather be in the middle of a Human Centipede truth be told, but that's just me. As of now I'm outlawing Twerking on GTGC. 

Austrian psychedelic rock trio MOTHER'S CAKE (Consisting of lead vocalist/guitarist Yves Krismer, bassist Benedikt Trenkwalder and drummer/backing vocalist Jan Haussels) are set to release their new album sometime in the Autumn of 2020, and tease interesting things to come with their latest single "Toxic Brother".

The onslaught of fuzzy guitars and echoed vocals, delivered among a frenetic, up-tempo barrage of stoner sludge-punk is as fun as it is exciting; the energy is real here and it'll easily appeal to fans of say, EXIT_INTERNATIONAL. The gradual fade-out of the track counters the increasing levels of insanity as you can hear the mental breakdown as it happens...this is a solid track.

Returning to the UK now and more specifically; Hull, and we have a four-piece hardcore punk outfit by the name of SMILING ASSASSIN. Consisting of vocalist George Garnett, drummer Robbie Johnson, guitarist Josh Rogerson and bassist Casey Stead, they were forwarded to me by the wonderful folk over at Rage PR.

The new socio-political single "National Pride" is taken off the forthcoming album "Plight Of The Millennial" which is penciled for release on May 31st, and it combines all the vitriolic aggression of hardcore punk with the instrumental impatience of trash metal, easily taking influence from the likes of THE EXPLOITED or MUNICIPAL WASTE. It's an intense listen and suggests that the new album is going to be an absolute scorcher.

Now I'll start off by saying this...on initial listen, it's not as annoying as "Despacito"...but I'm not ruling it out overtime. It's another one of this Latino-inspired R'n'B/rap offerings that's meant to sound all smooth and sexy in the club, but I'd rather just sit in the corner with a warm bottle of Bacardi squeezing fresh lime directly into my eyeballs. 

L.D.N's contribution is fine and his rapping isn't bad, probably the most enjoyable aspect of this track in all fairness, but that doesn't really say much. Also, Mi Carino means My Sweety...creepy much. Your Nan singing this is she mate? Bomboclaat don't say shit like sweety fam ya get me? Real talk blud. I just lost the plot, literally watched it run off...

We round off this selection of tracks by coming full circle back to London, to find CALLING ALL ASTRONAUTS an their newest single "Welcome To The Black Bloc". The trio (Consisting of vocalist/programmer David B, guitarist JJ and bassist Paul "Buzzsaw McCrudden) mix elements of punk rock attitude and an electronic, almost light industrial tone for their sound, bridging the likes of PITCHSHIFTER, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE and MINISTRY for a no-nonsense blast of socio-political neo-dystopian noise.

The single is officially released on May 29th, with the new album, entitled "#Resist" dropping shortly after on June 5th, via Supersonic Media which I'm sure is going to an incredibly charged listen.

Some of you may be thinking, Gav…how many reviews can you shoehorn references to Covid-19 into? Well…my friend, as it happens, as many as I want. You see while a lot of you are crying over 2020 festival season being buggered into next year, I’ve got my own agenda. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy festival experiences, but I am instead honestly quite reclusive, so one of the things I personally look forward to every year is the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.

Long-time readers will know I usually cover the show in some way shape or form, be it a run-down of finalists, covering past winner’s releases, or even just live-Tweeting the event…this year, I can’t enjoy this. This year I couldn’t look forward to sitting in front of my TV on the rare occasion I do, to watch Graham Norton sarcastically bury a plethora of countries. This year I couldn’t respectfully raise a glass of Bailey’s to Sir Terry Wogan during song 9, (Who am I kidding it’s a bottle of Jack). This year I couldn’t even get annoyed by the very political voting system I expect each and every fucking year as if it’s some shocking conspiracy. Covid-19 brought an end to all of that…and for that…I despise you, even though you’ve given me two months off work paid. 1st world problems, yes, but still. Alas…what I CAN do at least is channel my inner Jim Bowen, and have a look at who could have won, as Eurovision still at least released the 41-track CD of each countries entry. With that said…Good Evening Rotterdam! Open up, and let’s shine a light on the performers to see who gets 12 points….

​I’m going to preface this by stating that no I am NOT going to be analysing every one of the 41 entries as frankly I don’t even think lockdown is long enough for me to do that, but I will mull over my personal highlights, and as usual, the Eurovision double-album does things alphabetically, so we start with Albania. Their entry is “Fall From The Sky”, performed by ARILENA ARA and it’s one of two primary Eurovision tropes…heartfelt ballad, or fucking bonkers. This one falls into ballad category and as an opening track it’s a fairly safe one. The light piano allowing Arilena’s emotive, powerful vocals to really shine and there’s a dramatic intensity to this performance; a wonderful start. If you enjoyed that ballad however, hold on to that thought because you’re going to get sick of them over the next say, I don’t know… album? 

Armenia’s entry “Chains On You” by ATHENA MANOUKAIN tries to modernise things with some middle-eastern inspired trap and mumble rap…as far as the genre goes it’s fine, it’s the kind of thing you’d find Charlie Sloth spinning, but it’s not for me. Australia are still participating even though their initial anniversary guest spot was a few years ago now, and their entry “Don’t Break Me”, performed by MONTAIGNE is…another pop ballad. Granted the modern production and bold yet husky vocals find her somewhere between say, DUA LIPA and SIA in some ways, and it’s not bad. Onion Bhaji are up next…sorry, no, Azerbaijan are up next with “Cleopatra” performed by EFENDI and we get more middle-eastern / Egyptian musical influence, before leading into more Western pop stylistics…up until the part where they start summoning demons and shit…honestly that’s what it sounds like. Seriously, I thought my desk was going to start floating or my eyeballs were going to bleed!

Let’s see what else we have here…Belgium’s entry “Release Me” by HOOVERPHONIC in its own ways sounds like a BTEC version of BILLIE EILISH doing a Bond Theme…that’s the best and only way of describing that, you’re going to have to get way off of my back about that one. Skipping ahead now but keeping a colour scheme it’s Germany who have the next real highlight with the track “Violent Thing” by BEN DOLIC. Sadly the track is about as violent as two kittens having a pillow fight…I was expecting this year’s rock entry or something but we get another up-tempo pop offering. It’s got some brass elements and a bit of funk, and an impressive high note, resulting in quite a catchy little track, but it’s not what I was hoping for. Speaking of getting my hopes up, I ALWAYS look for Finland’s entry since LORDI won it in 2006, and this year, their entry “Looking Back” by AKSEL was…meh. It’s a pleasant indie-pop piece with ample melody, nothing like Lordi, or even SAARA AALTO from 2018; disappointing this one I’m afraid, you let me down Finland.

Next up, we have the United Kingdom…and as a Welshman, you might think I’m going to be biased here, that I’m going to sing praises to our entry as if they’re God’s gift to mainstream music…well I can assure you, that you are wrong. JAMES NEWMAN is our entry for this year with the track “My Last Breath” and I would sooner give up my last breath than have this song win the competition, despite it making things logistically easier for me to attend in 2021. Another copy and paste type of emotional male-led pop song akin to anyone from JAMES ARTHUR or SAM SMITH or any generic bollocks like that…it’s just so bloody boring! Georgia on the other hand, do somewhat peak my interest…”Take Me As I Am” by TORNIKE KIPIANI is, admittedly, lyrically fucking awful, let me make that clear, but the deep, electronic tinged moody indie tones easily mirror the styles and sounds of say, IMAGINE DRAGONS or AWOLATION etc, and this is arguably as dark as things get this year.

Skipping eagerly ahead now as we’re still only about half way here, we get Ireland and honestly…this would have been a contender for the competitions winner to break their own record, securing eight competition victories. “Story Of My Life” by LESLEY ROY gives off some serious KATY PERRY vibes…it’s a bouncy, light-hearted absolute banger of a pop anthem. Sure there’s repetition, a little instrumental monotony and some childish qualities but this is the kind of track you’d understand being all over commercial radio this Summer time…never mind the political voting, Covid-19 potentially robbed Ireland of this year’s win! Do they have any contenders however? Why in fact yes they do, and there is some STRONG competition from Iceland, and who some may say are favourites to win; DAðI FREYR with the song “Think About Things”. A synth-rich, full on disco-funk driven indie track…it is so simple in execution with the most basic of hooks, so much groove in so little effort, this is superb.

Jumping forward then we have THE ROOP with their entry “On Fire” for Lithuania…and it’s another basic pop track with pulsing electronic elements, dance-pop qualities with all of the synth laden hooks, it’s not as good as past winners such as MÅNS ZELMERLÖW for example but it’s along the same vein and personally I enjoy this, it’s arguably my favourite, despite some questionable vocals in places…and the video is as stated above; fucking bonkers. The rest of the album sadly doesn’t really throw up many particular highlights or memorable tracks, other than “Uno” by LITTLE BIG representing Russia. The “Skibidi” outfit had my attention going into the competition don’t get me wrong, but they’ve done better. Granted they’ve likely been heavily censored but still! SKIBIDI WA-PA-POW! The video does make me laugh mind…it’s all in the knees fam.

Romania come in with the track “Alcohol You” and I thought I was being offered a pint in broken English to be honest, so imagine my disappointment when ROXEN starts warbling her moody, sultry vocals…a slow, albeit grandiose track , though KORPIKLAANI drink better to be fair. Serbia rock up then with “Hasta La Vista” and the name alone has me hooked…have HURRICANE been sent from the future by Sky Net to secure Eurovision victory? In short…no…imagine someone installed LimeWire on the T-800 and the sheer amount of internet aids rendered it out of order. I’ll be very surprised if you’ll be back. Eventually then, and finally, we find ourselves at Ukraine, listening to “Solovey” by GO_A, and luckily, we conclude the album on an unorthodox yet enjoyable note. The traditional native tones of the vocal performance and woodwind elements coupled with a solid dance-pop aesthetic allow for a genuinely soothing and fun listen…I mean I haven’t got a fucking clue what they are saying but I like it!

After all of that, it really is heart-breaking to know that, given Eurovision’s six-decade legacy and tradition, none of the above entries will be able to represent their respective nations and try to put themselves in the history books. Granted some of these songs work better as a stage performance with character and gimmicks as opposed to straight up audio content, but that doesn’t detract what would have been an entertaining evening of live entertainment and multicultural acceptance of diversity. I know I rant and roast but I honestly enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest…I look forward to it every year, and hopefully it comes back all guns blazing in 2021. Where…who knows…no country has ever done two in a row from winning, so will Holland get to host again on a technicality? We can only wait and see…until then, Europe, you’re a beautiful bunch of bastards, for the record, I didn’t vote for Brexit I voted remain…and as far as Covid-19 goes…nil pois.

If you cast your mind back to 1992, you may remember Sega as one of the biggest, most influential names in home gaming consoles…Playstation wasn’t even a thing yet, so while Nintendo of course had Mario, Zelda and Metroid, their biggest competition came from the likes of Sonic, Alex Kidd and other, obscure and forgotten characters. One such unlikely hero, would have his own pretty successful series of games, where he would complete underwater puzzles, communicate with marine life, use cunning to eventually travel through time to rescue his loved ones by defeating aliens…was this some sort of, early Aquaman game?! Actually no, I’m talking about a fucking dolphin; Ecco The Dolphin, to be precise…

If you remember Ecco you’ll likely remember the games difficulty, comprising of underwater mazes, and the limited oxygen supply which was realistic for the time, but it also had some stunning 16-bit graphics and a wonderfully composed soundtrack of ambient, retro synth-wave and light electronica, perfectly encapsulating the cool, underwater atmosphere…well as it happens, if you take the core elements of that mood and aesthetic, add some percussion and a little attitude, oh, and make the dolphin wear eyeliner, you may as well have today’s artist; EKKO THE STRANGE. (I really need to calm down on these segue’s, fucking hell)

Ekko The Strange was formed very recently in and around Warsaw, Poland, by C Bock Vermeer, who had previously done a 10-year stint in American post-rock outfit REVOLT REVOLT. Wanting to escape these trappings, he traveled the world looking for inspiration before eventually settling in the Polish capital to complete the brand new mini album “Haunting Me”, courtesy of Hi-Fi Mantra Records. At only eight tracks long with a half an hour run-time, it’s a brief blast from the post-punk past. Ecco was a difficult game…so let’s see if Ekko is a difficult listen.

We open up with “Noc Shift” and it sets the tone for the record as well as sets your expectations low from very early on quite sadly. Yes it has some deep, fuzzy electronica that gives off this pulsing, almost hypnotic vibe, but it’s as monotonous as it is deep, with very little of any interest happening over its run time. Given its simplicity, and the repetitive loop that it’s on, I’d say at best this could be one of those pre-set practice pieces that come built into keyboards (True story, I have a Yamaha keytar that has “Last Christmas” by WHAM built in that I enjoy more than this), I can’t see any other practical use for this track. “Soft Decay” then improves so much with the mere presence of vocals and the sound takes on a whole new direction. There’s a darkness to the track that channels the likes of BAUHAUS and JOY DIVISION in an eerie, simplistic, indie approach , allowing for ample atmosphere, sounding like it’s been plucked straight out of the early 80’s, and this works well.

Continuing in this vein is “Transylvania Found Me” and it harbours those same despondent musical influences; maintaining its steady, cold electronic rhythm  while also incorporating a certain, retro-futuristic vibe akin to say, ALIEN SEX FIEND, combining the past with the future for a synthetic mind-fuck. “Mutante” despite its instrumental nature provides the albums only other highlight, sounding like it’s crept right out of a horror movie soundtrack, with its hollow, chilling keys and atmospheric delivery…you can picture the black & white b-movie now; you’re being stalked by the creature, the alien life form, he gonna eat yo’ ass! This is what’s playing in the background. Other than that, the album fails to inspire…

The few tracks left, are fairly monotonous…”Future Mirrors”  despite some almost, Arabian instrumentation fails to inspire despite the cultural appropriation,  while closing track “Ekkos Of A Dead World” is literally depressing. Remember the bit from Monty Python’s Holy Grail where they cry ‘bring out your dead?’ Imagine that with no humour…just pile on the corpses that died of boredom because of this track. Musically, this is the Covid-19 equivalent of counting cadavers only less entertaining. Is there an audience for this? Possibly there is…but with a death toll already in the thousands, we don’t need to add suicide to those statistics. Forget haunting me, I’ma call Zak Bagan to exorcise this record…it’s reached its final destination; hell. [3]

As I type this, the UK currently remains on lock-down (I use that term loosely mind you, we have a population of idiots that can’t grasp that)…social distancing is still in place as we still run the risk of infection from Covid-19. Worse, the weather has been beautiful throughout this, and life is generally frustrating, confusing and to a degree depressing in isolation…but do you know what will cheer you up? Doom metal…

While, yes, I said that with more than a pinch of sarcasm, today’s album is one I’ve genuinely been looking forward to all year, regardless of the events that have unfolded outside my front door, and that album is “Obsidian” by PARADISE LOST.  The Halifax based godfathers of Gothic doom metal have had an illustrious and influential career that in my opinion, hasn’t been fairly applauded. From their 1990 debut, they helped lay the very foundations for the Gothic metal genre and have an incredible discography that easily cements their status. Don’t just take my word for it however, as the 30-year veterans seem to be aging like a fine wine, having released a series of stunning albums in succession from “Faith Divides Us…” all the way through to the most recent release “Medusa”…can they keep it up however? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “Darker Thoughts” and it’s the perfect intro in all fairness…the gently plucked acoustic guitars allowing for a misleading direction in tone, with its softer vocals and emotive string elements; it borders on medieval folk, before it erupts with a barrage of visceral snarls and it balances out perfectly. The contrast here is ideal and while not necessarily brutal, the initial disparity in these tones within one track shows great character, and it’s a beautiful opener. “Fall From Grace” follows up and as the lead single from the album it ticks all the expected boxes; it’s got the guttural growls, the methodical chugging guitars and it’s textbook Paradise Lost; bridging the slower doom elements of recent releases with the darker, tortured sound of their early Peaceville years, highlighting the bands consistency.

What’s consistency though without quality right? Well the album has plenty of that, in particular the tracks “Ghosts” and “Forsaken”. The former, getting underway with a solid, yet simple, commanding drum beat over a groove-heavy bass riff. It builds on its layers wonderfully, gradually incorporating chilling guitar notes with Nick Holmes’ deep vocal drawl, before we burst into life with some slick, hook laden melodic metal; this is wonderful stuff. If you thought that was good however, the latter embraces a truly angelic, beautifully haunting opening; setting a rich tone that oozes Gothic splendour. Greg Mackintosh delivers the goods with an impassioned solo too, which coupled with the subtle backing piano, makes for top drawer Paradise Lost.

The remainder of the album does however hit a certain plateau, but the standards are already set impressively high. “Serenity” is a no-nonsense barrage of deep growls and Gothic-laced metal, “Endless Days” then is a slower, more sombre offering with more emphasis on mood, before we eventually finish up on “Ravenghast”, another slow burner of a track, allowing the album to naturally come to a close with a warm down; letting the listener catch their breath and unwind. Obsidian really is a perfect fit in regards to the album’s title…the mineral, a naturally forming dark, volcanic crystal, balancing the destructive force of the lava it’s formed out of, with its own fragile beauty, sums up this record perfectly. Scorching and intense where warranted, harmonious an elegant where it matters…Paradise Lost have delivered yet again. [9]

This isn’t a review as such…but more of a call to arms if you will. Now, while I’ve touched on the current Coronavirus pandemic in recent reviews in a predominantly light-hearted manner, or at least trying to make light of the situation to maybe try to boost morale, it is in so many aspects in fact, a VERY serious situation. Businesses are shutting down, people are losing their jobs, people are losing their means to support their families, hell; people are fucking DYING! In such a time of need for many in an age of advanced communication and technology, some of us have never felt so far apart and, given the unprecedented nature of this global pandemic, it’s a hard realisation.

While the government (Here in the UK at least) is doing what it can to help certain businesses cover expenses while the country is on lock down, not everyone is fortunate enough to benefit from such subsidies and this is where both you and your local music venues come in. Small and independent venues have had a hard enough time over the last couple of years as it is, with several having to close doors up and down the country for financial reasons, or for dodgy housing development projects etc, so the last thing they need is a forced closure due to some Asian-ass virus because some dude in China did an Ozzy Osbourne with an infected bat.

I can’t say with certainty that your local venue is doing the same right now (Though if they are I urge you to support in any which way you can) but FUEL ROCK CLUB in Cardiff is one of the clubs that would be incredibly grateful for your support.  The award winning bar/venue situated in Womanby Street in the Welsh capital naturally relies on its punters and gig goers to pay the bills and the wages…but under forced closure, they face difficult times. Luckily, while we may not be currently able to attend the club in person, we can still help and support the club during this testing time, thanks to a new compilation album.

XIII PROMOTIONS based out of Cardiff have reached out to 30 bands and artists who have played, performed or promoted at the club, to piece together a 30-track compilation entitled “Rock Down: A Fuel Rock Club Benefit Compilation”. Available on Bandcamp as a digital download for £7.50, all proceeds raised will go towards ensuring the club doesn’t fall onto harder times that it’s already been put under, by contributing to venue upkeep etc while they have no custom. It’s a hell of an eclectic compilation, ranging from black and death metal, to punk, post-rock, blues, funk and even electronica, showcasing a plethora of genres represented by multiple scenes, who all support Fuel.  The link to Fuel’s Facebook is below, so if you can, go and buy some Fuel merch through their official channels, and the bandcamp link is also included. My personal favourites include tracks by GLASS HEART and BONDAGE FAIRIES…but there’s literally something for everyone here. Go check it out, it’s for a wholesome cause.

For a blog with a name like GavTheGothicChav…you’d think I had my finger firmly on the pulse when it comes to Goth rock, but truth be told, I continue to miss a lot of what’s going on in underground Gothic circles. Some of my favourite new bands, like HER DESPAIR and THE WRAITH have fallen into my lap courtesy of other publications I’ve contributed to (Shout out to Astral Noize), but other than that, I’m more Chav than Goth these days, and that’s upsetting. Luckily I got a friend request on the old Facebook recently by a gentleman by the name of Alex, who thought that my blog would be a great place for his band; THE BLACK CAPES. Firstly, thank you for getting in touch Alex…and secondly, his band abso-fucking-lutely belong on this blog! Follow me! (Makes mysterious whooshing gesture with my cape and runs into the shadows)

Hailing from Athens, Greece, The Black Capes (Consisting of vocalist Alex S Wamp, guitarist Thanos Jan, bassist Dorian Gates and drummer Christos Grekas) originally formed in 2016 yet despite their relatively short existence thus far they’ve achieved a fair bit! Their debut album “All These Monsters” was produced by the people behind PARKWAY DRIVE and FALLING IN REVERSE…and they’ve done some solid European touring; establishing themselves in strong alternative markets such as Germany. Now in 2020 they aim to push things further with their sophomore album “Lullabies For The Dead”, due out April 10th via Dark Tunes Records. Let’s check it out…

We open up with the promotional track “And I Wait” but we don’t have to wait long AT ALL to hear some wonderfully hard rocking, bass-driven riffs. We surge right into it here to be fair and the up-beat barrage of guitar is the perfect counter for Alex’s deep vocal drawl, which is a classic trope for such Goth rock, but that’s not detrimental. The gruffness to the vocals likens The Black Capes to fellow Greek Goths SADDOLLS in ways, allowing for a rough around the edges sense of character, while maintaining all of the hooks (Including that smooth guitar solo) and this is a good start. This is emphasised on album highlight “Rain” which amps up the melody wonderfully. The deep emotive baritone takes on more of a croon, which allows for a sound more akin to THE 69 EYES when they first started dabbling in the dark arts, think “Wasting The Dawn” era…but the track picks up towards the end for a feisty little crescendo and it’s a great track this.

Influences don’t stop there either, as proven on tracks such as “The Blood Is The Life”, which incorporates an almost middle-eastern sense of string instrumentation, something the likes of TIAMAT have dabbled in in the past, while “From Beyond The Grave” tips the hat to bands such as A PALE HORSE NAMED DEATH with its slow, deep, methodical chugging riff work, before “Gotham” delivers a tighter guitar sound, channelling the likes of PARADISE LOST to great effect towards the tracks climax. The haunting background moans providing a sense of atmosphere too, so too with the piano and synths on “The Gun Of Love”, allowing for a chilling listen. We eventually finish up on “War Is Where You Make It” and if anything it’s sadly the weakest track on the album…the incredibly lethargic doom-inspired chugging of the riffs coupled with the deeper, depressed tone of Alex’s gravelled vocals resembles proto-Goth outfits such as FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM, and while that’s not at all a bad thing, it brings the mood down entirely after such a solid, bold sounding album.

As oxymoronic as that last statement sounds for a Gothic rock album however, “Lullabies For The Dead” is a superb collection of grandiose Goth that spans multiple eras, allowing for multiple influences to shape a noticeable variety in styles within just ten tracks. And to think, they said not all heroes wear capes? Looks like Batman has some competition…[8]

LESLEY GORE once famously sang the now immortal words “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To”…and the way 2020 is going so far, a lot of us have related in some way. We hardly got chance to celebrate the new year really; we had the insane and catastrophic Australian bush fires kicking the year off, the UK was battered by some of the worst storms in years resulting in some horrendous Welsh flooding, not to mention the on-going fiasco that is Covid-19! It’s only fucking March! Honestly I would not be surprised if April brought with it an alien invasion!

All of this has naturally disrupted the lives of millions over the last three months, especially the pandemic, and as I mentioned in my recent ALKALINE TRIO review the music industry has taken a hit…but what about us every day folk? Everything is either on hold or has been scrapped, with employment being frozen and the government suggesting we all isolate, a lot of plans have gone nipples north. Just this weekend me and some friends were meant to be getting biblically drunk in Bristol for my good friend Izzy’s birthday celebrations, but Corona sadly put a stop to that. I don’t know what’d be worse to be honest…catching Corona or the state of my liver when we finally get to catch up!

There are millions in the same boat however, and frankly we have A LOT of overdue birthday bashes to catch up on. Luckily, thanks to Metropolis Records, today’s ironically named band helped us celebrate while stuck in lock down; THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE. The Canadian synth-goth veterans were forced to release their latest album “Diamonds” early as businesses closed up for the Coronavirus lock down…resulting in them in their own way, giving us an early birthday present. At only 9 tracks long it’s one of their shorter offerings, but remember; it’s not the size of the present, it’s the thought behind it that counts…so let’s check it out.

The album opens up with “Enter” and we’re immediately met with some light keys that give off an innocent, 80’s pop vibe as we transition into the main beat and rhythm of the track. The simplicity of the instrumentation allowing Chibi’s sweet vocals to take center stage and it really is a blissful little number. The chorus brings with it more guitar and they blend more of their grittier style into the retro-synth sound and this is classic Birthday Massacre; simple, catchy and repeatable…a superb start. We follow this with promotional single “The Sky Will Turn” and we slow the tempo right down to more of a brooding, colder synth style, allowing for the darker aspects of the band’s sound to shine through like the full moon in a murky night sky…beautiful but chilling and quite awe-inspiring.

This continues through the title track “Diamonds” as well as cuts like “Crush” which use the down-tempo delivery to great effect, building up atmosphere and mood, channelling their gothic influences wonderfully, balancing subtle vocal and synth hooks with a darker, dispirited tone. Tracks like these prove The Birthday Massacre really are like diamonds themselves… oh so precious, but to many sadly they remain hidden gems. What this album IS lacking is some of their past, anthemic-style darkwave floor-fillers such as “One Promise” and “Walking With Strangers”, and the nearest we get to that here really is “Run”. Utilizing an almost DEPECHE MODE sense of deep melody, it flows delicately through each verse before kicking in with a grittier, guitar driven chorus.

Depeche Mode aren’t the only sounds you can pick up on either…during “Flashback” some of the guitar tones resemble the likes of ORGY in their futuristic, synthetic delivery, while “The Last Goodbye” harbours more of an accessible electronic-pop sound you may get from the likes of PET SHOP BOYS, before we round things off with closing track “Parallel World”; the calming synth ballad creating a dreamscape so apropos to its title, your mind wandering as Chibi serenades on.  

The Birthday Massacre never try to reinvent the wheel and this is what makes them so consistently good; they have their distinct style and they own it. They’ve proven time and time again that you don’t fix what isn’t broken, and “Diamonds”, arguably one of the strongest albums of their career to date, proves that. These are uncertain, often worrying times, but Chibi and co are themselves the diamonds in the rough here, but if we’re stuck at home in quarantine and isolation, you couldn’t ask for better company. Our own birthday’s may have been massacred, but the sky WILL turn, we just have to ride this out together.  [9]

For those of you living under a rock, good, stay there and self-isolate. For the rest of you, you’ll be aware that the world is currently being absolutely shafted by the on-going Coronavirus pandemic; with thousands of directly linked Covid-19 deaths reportedly recorded worldwide…supposedly 23,721 at this time of writing. Basically, life has for the most part, practically ground to a halt, as many people have to either work from home or have been furloughed indefinitely during this time of uncertainty, but while that covers all aspects of life, as summer approaches we can’t overlook the severe impact it’s had on music, more specifically concerts and festivals.

Just recently, UK heavy hitter Download Festival announced it was essentially writing this year off entirely, as have Glastonbury and Isle Of Wight, with Slam Dunk being fortunate enough to reschedule for later this year (Assuming things don’t continue to go tits up). It’s not JUST festivals though, as any large gathering is now prohibited in the interest of public safety, so bye-bye MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE reunion shows too! (We haven't long suffered flooding in Wales I don't particularly want to drown in a sea of emo tears thank you!) One of the tours, I would have not only given my left testicle to attend, but I would have sold my last roll of toilet paper too…and that would have been BAD RELIGION and ALKALINE TRIO. The trio are wholesome punks however, and themselves, personally not wanting everyone to miss out, went and dropped a surprise three-track EP simply entitled “E.P.” to make up for not being able to perform. As we’re all currently on lock-down, let’s take 10 minutes to appreciate this generous gift…

The EP opens up with “Minds Like Minefields” and we’re swiftly greeted with the up-tempo, alt. pop-punk that Alkaline Trio have made their own over the course of their career. It mixes a great, catchy off-kilter delivery with an intense, alternating instrumental flurry and some subdued yet distinct whoa-oh backing vocals. In typical Matt Skiba fashion it’s a darkly poetic love song about the aftermath of a damaging relationship leaving you mentally unstable to some degree, but delivered with so much bounce and energy it’s actually uplifting; a fantastic start this.

We follow this up with “Radio Violence” and we welcome Dan Andriano back to vocals which has always been part of Alkaline Trio’s appeal…the dual vocal styles not only gel well but it allows for completely different approaches to the bands writing and overall sound. The track retains the bands punk aesthetics when it gets going, including some sleek guitar work, but it has a lighter, more pop-oriented delivery, with its quirky chords and fun instrumentation; the band sound like they’re enjoying themselves here…if they’re trying to spread a little positivity it’s working.

Finally then we finish up on “Smokestack” and it’s like we’re taken right back to the “Damnesia” sessions…for the simple campfire acoustic approach is, surprisingly, yet another strength of Trio’s song-writing prowess, for not only can they write solid punk rock bangers and alternative goth punk anthems, they can also absolutely nail an acoustic folk ballad and they prove that here effortlessly. While not AS good as renditions of “Every Thug Needs A Lady” for example, it’s easily good enough to have been taken off that same compilation, and this mellow simplicity is just as stirring as their more perturbed punk rock, highlighting their talent for emotive story telling. The guys are quite obviously on top form here and quite frankly, just as with the recent VILLE VALO EP, the three songs only make you want to hear more, but if this is the level of material they’re putting out, whatever comes next will certainly be worth the wait. They dropped this EP because they felt bad about fans not getting to see them live because of this stupid virus…so I implore you now, the very next moment you get an opportunity to catch them live and thank them (Hopefully rescheduled shows with Bad Religion) you do it. I know I will. [9]

​Back in 2017, the gothic rock community found itself in an official state of mourning. You might think, well, nothing fucking new by there? But, we had a legitimate excuse for our smudged eye liner. You see, everyone’s favourite romantic-rockers HIM, were officially no more. Yes following the departure of long-time drummer Mika Karppinen (Gas) and the appointment of Jukka Kröger (Kosmo), plus the fairly lukewarm reception of “Tears On Tape”…there were a lot of mixed feelings within the HIM camp…and a lot of uncertainty. Over this period, one thing eventually led to another, and after a series of farewell shows, the Heartagram had seemingly stopped beating. Tears were no longer merely on tape, they were on the cheeks of thousands of distraught fans across the globe…and it hurt.

Granted there were other projects that trickled out from certain members of the band…we got a fantastic 3rd installment from DANIEL LIONEYE courtesy of guitarist Mikko Lindström…as well as a couple of the guys forming FLAT EARTH, but it just wasn’t the same. What was Ville Valo up to? As the voice of HIM, he naturally carried the most intrigue, and while he did tease some activity with the release of the Finnish language single "Olet mun kaikuluotain", as well as reuniting with former collaborators THE AGENTS for some more traditional Finnish classics…he’s been incredibly quiet, almost suspiciously quiet…until now. On March 20th, 2020, Ville, under the new moniker of VV, surprised everyone by dropping three new tracks on an EP entitled “Gothica Fennica Vol.1”. With a modified Heartagram on the cover…was this what HIM fans had been craving for so long? Tissues at the ready folks, this might get emotional.

We get underway with ”Salute The Sanguine” and as the soft, near synthetic guitar melodies meander through your speakers, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed with, dear I say it…a foreboding sense of impending happiness. This is in its own right fitting as the delicate tones of not only the instrumentation but Ville’s voice hark back to albums such as “Screamworks…” and “Dark Light”; there’s a vulnerability to his voice that adds heaps of sentiment. Conceptually an interesting one, as sanguine is essentially a colour, or pigment used in a lot of centuries old artwork and self-portraits, resembling the shade of dried blood. It’s as if he’s looking back fondly on his career as if it had been dusted off having been locked away, appreciating the memories and what they gave him, with each scar a story, but knowing too that he isn’t the same man as before. This ties in nicely to the modified Heartagram…for like the music accompanying it; it’s a little HIM, but it isn’t, though it’s still beautiful.

Next up we have “Run Away From The Sun” and again here we’re immediately met with Ville’s gentle croon over more soft rock guitars and mellow acoustics. Another smooth and melodic offering, this is accessible as any of HIM’s lightest works as though Ville has embraced more of an indie-pop aesthetic, while retaining his core, lyrically melancholic writing style, allowing for those distinct HIM tropes. Speaking of, closing track “Saturnine Saturnalia” is the most HIM-sounding of the three tracks presented here and while not specifically raucous or rocking, it carries with it a distinct aura of hurt and emotional torment, mixing Ville’s honey coated vocals with a more sombre dose of doom and gothic stylistics. It’s got more prominent riff work and sounds like it could have come from one of the old “Venus Doom” demo sessions, fitting in with the likes of “Cyanide Sun” aesthetically, allowing for a deeper, ever so slightly darker listen.

If I may come across as selfish for a moment, sadly, these are the only three tracks presented here but while naturally wanting more, we have to be grateful of a couple of key things. To start, Ville is once again releasing music in any capacity, that’s the main thing, but the fact that the Heartagram has returned and his music is more akin to the styles and sounds of old is not only heart-warming, but brings with it hope. He’s clearly finding his feet again, and despite being only three tracks long, having been away for three years now, “Gothica…” is an effortlessly good start. The fact too that it’s merely volume one hints at more music down the line, and if these three tracks are anything to go by, we’re in for a fucking treat. Never mind the sanguine, Ville Valo, we salute you and welcome back sir! [10]

Aren’t massacres just the best? They come in a whole assortment of colours, shapes and sizes…Birthday Massacres, Texas Chainsaw Massacres, Slumber Party Massacres, Pizza Girl Massacres… (I could go on, I just had a field day on IMDb) and ooh boy, Columbine was a work of art wasn’t it! (I jest; shooting up children is frowned upon in the UK) However let’s be honest, while alternative music and horror movies may overuse the word to the point it’s almost desensitized, it’s the very real incidents such as Columbine that, capture the most intrigue and make for some of the most fascinating stories. This brings us to today’s band…THE MASSACRE CAVE.

While at first glance the name could very well be taken from yet another low budget slasher movie, The Massacre Cave are in fact a 4-piece alternative metal band from and around The Isle Of Eigg, Scotland. Situated in the Inner Hebrides, Eigg is a small island with an equally small population, but while it lacks in mass…it makes up for in mass murder, and this is where they get their name. According to clan tradition, way back in 1577, around 395 people were suffocated and killed while sheltering from the MacLoed clan inside the Cave Of Frances. The MacLoed’s, seeking revenge following a fall-out, found the islanders in hiding and started fires at the caves entrance, asphyxiating everyone inside, virtually wiping out the islands population. Or so they say. Might be a load of bollocks, who knows?

Anyway, history lesson over, The Massacre Cave (Who consist of guitarists/vocalists Joe and Ben Cormack, bassist Jodie Bremaneson and drummer Pete Colquhoun) originally formed in 2005, quickly becoming recognised within independent circles and within Scottish national tabloids for their intense sound and live shows, especially their breakout single “Behemoth”. Now, in 2020 we find them releasing their brand new album “Godlust” through Red Death Records…Joe sent me an email asking me to check it out…so let’s do just that before they send a clan after me!

The 8-track mini album opens up with “We Own The Sun” and after some gradually built, galloping riffs, we’re met with a wall of assertive percussion, channelling a rich progressive metal aesthetic with the off-kilter, rhythmic yet, technical fret-work. Vocally intense; combining an almost southern groove with guttural growling, making for a tumultuous opening. “From The Mountains” transitions in then nicely and there seems to be a little more structure to the instrumentation; the guitars seem that bit more regimented and disciplined, while vocally it’s as though we’ve taken influence from the likes of early SATYRICON in places. There’s the subtlest hint of black metal adding flavour to the track while still utilising traditional thrash influences, all combining to create that aforementioned progressive sound.

The blackened influences continue on the intro to “Tetramethrin” before the gruff vocals take the track down a more sludge-metal avenue, yet there are glimmers of the likes of Jaz Coleman of KILLING JOKE sprinkled here and there, there’s a fair variety of styles layered throughout these tracks in all honesty, making for an interesting listen. We have a couple of sub-three-minute offerings too starting with “Godfrey”, and it’s no more than a quaint little acoustic-led instrumental, breaking up proceedings nicely I will admit, while “Red Death” capitalises on those early thrash qualities, benefiting from some crisp recording, the solo here too just the cherry on top of quite the enjoyable track.

Finally then we do end up on the title track and again, we have a bountiful blend of genres, styles and sounds that fleet between progressive and traditional metal, ambient yet, avant-garde experimentation. It’s got some great hooks and balances it’s gentler melodies with its more crunching guitar work really well, ending the album on a positive note. Essentially The Massacre Cave tick a variety of boxes and if you enjoy your music somewhere between, say, early OPETH and MASTODON then you may find ample enjoyment over the course of these eight tracks. Despite living in the arse end of nowhere they’ve accumulated a smörgåsbord of influences, resulting in a colourful approach to progressive metal. Now if you’ll excuse me…I have the sudden urge to watch The Descent. [6]

How about a tedious link? Yeah? You ready?…OK…so, if you were to dispel something, it would be like, relieving something or getting rid of something…maybe even curing something? THE CURE were a new-wave Goth band who originated in the late 70’s, who went on to release tracks such as “A Forest”, and also enter the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame in 2019. The Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame is situated in ‘The Forest City’, which is the nickname for Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland Ohio is an anagram of Cool Heaven Lid, which is in ways ties into “Just Like Heaven”; a track by The Cure, which coming full circle, could mean to DISPEL…and that brings us to today’s band. You follow?

Dispel are a throwback, Gothic / darkwave outfit formed in Cleveland, Ohio, consisting of founding member and percussionist/programmer Scott Doland (Alongside vocalists Ravensea and Sean Gallows) and together, they’ve created a sound combining old-school electro-Goth nostalgia and an even older school sense of medieval theatrics, as they release their debut album “Lore”. Released in January 2020, the team over at Shameless Promotions asked me to check it out, so let’s do just that before I get caught up in any more convoluted segues…

The album opens up with “Spiritual Warrior (The Hero)” and initially we’re met with some hushed, choir-esque harmonies, backed with gentle bell chimes, before we suddenly transition into a deep, pulsing dose of synths and percussion. Gallows’ vocals here are almost robotic given their languid delivery, though he does switch up in tone here and there. There’s a cold monotony to the track…its very CLAN OF XYMOX.  Follow-up track “The Call (To Adventure)” gives Ravensea a turn on vocals and the tone changes immediately. While instrumentally it takes on a similar style with some brooding electronica, it incorporates more of a guitar influence, which counters Ravensea’s softer, sweeter vocals. She provides a more pop-oriented style, especially within the chorus, which sounds like it’s been plucked from some generic 90’s dance track for want of a better description.

“Gift Of The Goddess (Andante In Bb)” is our first primarily instrumental track, which aside from some echoed, almost monastic chanting consists of a simple, low-fi drum fill and very little else; it showcases their adoration for the medieval and fantasy gaming (Which is another influence) as this could easily be taken out of some sort of loading screen. “Atonement (Andiago In Bb)” is the other…and it’s far more morose in its delivery. It’s incredibly dreary with its slower pacing and aesthetically gives off a despondent feeling of mourning and loss. Luckily there are more SLIGHTLY uplifting cuts on offer here, such as the promotional track “Modal Consequence (The Threshold)” which sees Ravensea wrap her harmonious vocals around some electronic alternative rock, however the track is a touch subdued instrumentally, before we eventually round up the album with “The Depth Of Transformation (The Return)”. Coming back to Gallows on vocals we get a subtle hint of the likes of PITCHSHIFTER before it becomes more hushed throwback post-punk.

Conceptually, Dispel are admittedly onto an interesting approach…utilising traditional proto-Goth and post-punk sounds but coupling that with a medieval, fantasy RPG-inspired song-writing characteristic, they can tap into multiple markets with very die-hard followings, which in itself would continue to open doors for the alternative rockers. The only real issue is these nine inaugural tracks (Ironically enough) aren’t quite game changers. Sure the ideology is there and they have a vast sea of potential inspiration and material to play with creatively, given their niche, but it’s not quite there yet. If I can liken this to anything it would be a mimic chest from Dark Souls…you open it expecting riches but SIKE…you died. Ok a little extreme as this album isn’t going to eat you alive, but Dispel could possibly offer so much more than this album showcases. [4]

Ah yes; Money Inc...For those of you who don’t know, they are one of the most iconic heel tag teams in professional wrestling from the early 90’s. Consisting of “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and “IRS” Irwin R. Schyster, they won the then WWF tag team championships three times over the period of 1992 to 1993, having beaten the likes of the Legion Of Doom and the Natural Disasters, before eventually disbanding, as wrestling continued to adapt and evolve into a new era trough the mid-nineties. Wait a minute…something’s not quite right here…*checks notes*… for fuck sake Gav (-_-) let’s start again shall we?

MONO INC. for those of you who don’t know, are an alt. rock  / Goth band formed in Germany in 2000 and over the past twenty years have racked up an impressive number of albums and EP’s. The four piece (Currently consisting of vocalist Martin Engler, drummer Katha Mia, guitarist Carl Fornia and bassist Manuel Antoni) have enjoyed a fair bit of homeland success as their previous five albums have all reached the Top 10 in the official German charts, and they hope to continue their run of good form with their brand new album “The Book Of Fire”. Let’s see how quickly we can read this before it’s little more than a smoldering pile of ash…and it better have pictures…

We open up with the seven-minute-plus title track and after a brief piano intro; we practically set sail for high adventure…honestly for a split second I thought I was aboard the Black Pearl swigging rum with Captain Jack Sparrow. This is some piratey shit! The song itself, while a little drawn out in places is up-tempo and incredibly up-beat, it combines that ideology of exploring the seven seas with folk inspired qualities and a rock-based core sound, which while fun and not unpleasant, IS unexpected.  Goths and pirates don’t mix like…do I bury the treasure at the graveyard or scare all the children at the beach? I digress. Follow up track “Louder Than Hell” is the first real album highlight and takes a more traditional musical approach without as much of a gimmick. Rich in melodic guitar and a simple yet commanding rhythmic percussion, it’s got a solid groove amidst subtle power metal qualities and a great hard rock solo, resulting in another entertaining, up-tempo offering.

Lead single then “Warriors” takes a disappointing down-turn in momentum sadly, as we get a slow, sombre orchestral rock ballad with dreary, near monotonous vocals (Chorus aside)…while instrumentally charming in places, it doesn’t do the album too much justice in all honesty. Highlights do however include “Shining Light” which features LACRIMOSA vocalist Tilo Wolff…and it’s a shiny black slab of gothic tinged alt. rock, combining a deeper vocal and harmonic, choir-esque background singing. This is continued with “The Last Crusade” which really ups the ante with it’s incredibly SISTERS OF MERCY inspired intro and slick presentation. This track is infectious as all hell, from the vocal hooks in the chorus to the borderline sexual guitar solo, the book of fire is scorching here. Elsewhere “Right For The Devil”, which features German medieval metal outfit TANZWUT continues a similar standard of simple yet catchy alternative rock…slower in pace maybe but it’s a got a great bass-line and with that comes a certain swagger which is impossible to dislike.

The rest of the album trudges along fairly well without any real complaints, resulting in a solid overall listen, as portions of it will appeal to quite a broad spectrum of alternative music fans. Granted it’s not the all-out Goth-rock record I was expecting, seeing as THE 69 EYES were mentioned in the 'FFO' section of the press-kit, but I can admit I’m not disappointed. “The Book Of Fire” is itself only the latest chapter in Mono Inc.’s storied career to date, and it’s safe to say that these flames aren’t dying anytime soon. A record worth checking out this. [7]

IGGY POP once famously sang about having a certain “Lust For Life”; and that is still impressively evident even to this day, as the rock ‘n’ roll icon continues to perform with zero shits to give, despite being the age of 72. It’s probably fair to say then, that few people share that same level of energy and passion for music and performing, but if anyone deserves to be mentioned in the same breath, it would have to be Jason Butler.

From 2002-2017 you would have known him as the front-man of critically acclaimed post-rock hardcore crew LETLIVE, who won over metal heads and punks alike with their frenetic live shows and sheer lunacy. More recently you may have been familiar with his role in FEVER 333 who are also riding a wave of critical praise for very similar reasons…but Jason Butler has a burning desire to scream like an absolute banshee in any way, shape or form he can…seriously as vocalists go, he’s like the fucking Duracell bunny on a 3 day coke binge. With that said, it’s no surprise we find him in yet another project; PRESSURE CRACKS. Completed by former members of SCARS OF TOMORROW and WEREWOLF CONGRESS, the Californian’s have recently released their sophomore EP entitled “This Is Called Survival”…but will I survive this EP? Let’s go all Bear Grylls and find out…

The EP opens up with quite the depressingly titled “Like Father Like None” and it begins with some old, recorded spoken word sample of American re-offender statistics, before the band ferociously tear into a riff-heavy barrage of near blast beats, screeching guitars and the equivalently feral vocals. A deep cut about broken homes, a broken society and the past repeating itself, but also acknowledgement of those pitfalls and the determination to beat the cycle, taking a stab at the system and wanting to set a better example, wanting to be a better father figure…a really intense intro this; but full of self-motivation and determination. “Ready For You” follows up with a similar theme running through the tracks narrative…erasing the past and fleeing a moral sense of conviction but asking for forgiveness for previous actions. The riffs here come hard and heavy with more of that hardcore punk influence bursting through, although the track does become a touch repetitive as it reaches its climax.

Third track “Shhh” is ironically anything BUT quiet as we get another sharp dose of blistering hardcore. The tempo and pacing here only emphasising the intensity of the bands sound, which really can also be said of closing track “Big T Youth”…well, truth be told it can really be said about this whole EP in all fairness. Clocking in at only 12 minutes, Pressure Cracks have combined a sense of personal anguish and resentment with social awareness into four utterly chaotic bursts of noise and semi-antiestablishmentarianism. Bridging those elements of punk and metal, it really allows for a cathartic release of pent up energy, pulling absolutely no punches. Pre-existing Fans of hardcore will appreciate this without saying, but it’s quite unlikely to draw much new attention to the subgenre, as it’s not exactly easy listening shall we say. Its niche…it’s noisy…it’s intractable and ultimately, nicely done. [6]

So, I’d like to kick off the New Year, by talking about burning churches…now, typically you’d expect me to go on some tirade about black metal, and all of the clichés that come with the panda-painted faces of our Scandinavian metal brethren. But while some of the black metal community did in fact, set fire to several Norwegian churches between 92’ and 96’ in the genre’s heyday, today’s band are so lit they may as well have called themselves fucking Notre Dame! Let’s talk about CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES…before Quasimodo starts asking questions…

Formed in Prague in the Czech Republic (And consisting of vocalist Phil Lee Fall, bassist/programmer Gatsby, guitarist Billac de Ville and vocalist Ambra Von Bernstein) the four-piece unveiled their debut EP, entitled “Children Of The Blackest Hole”, towards the tail end of 2019, having sent me an email in late December requesting a review. While I missed it over the Christmas period, it just so happens that the EP is getting a physical release on vinyl in early 2020, so I thought what better way to transition into the New Year than with some new Goth…

The EP opens up with “Python” and immediately the chilling atmospheric tones take you way back to the 80’s post-punk revolution. With haunting wails providing backing vocals over Phil’s deep drawl, while soft piano’s compliment the overall grittier instrumentation wonderfully, allowing for a real raw sense of melancholy. Respectfully channelling the likes of FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM etc. “Red Car” in turn houses a solid bass-driven groove that matches the depth of Phil’s baritone growl really well, but it somehow manages to retain a sense of up-beat melody, especially as the track climaxes with a subtle key-change, and it’s an enjoyable listen this.

The title track, despite keeping up with the Nephilim, almost RAMMSTEIN levels of gruff crooning harbours a slower, shoegaze inspired backing track with a lighter guitar tone and this gentler approach provides a sombre yet sweet listen…if I were to get married this could for all intents and purposes be an acceptable, albeit alternative first dance slow jam. “Hungry As The Grave” returns to a more simplistic, retro post-punk stylistic, plodding along, wallowing in its own self-inflicted misery, before closing track “Gunslinger’s Blues” ends proceedings on a dreary, despondent note. A dark, anti-ballad with church bells and subtle Western undertones; it really is quite tender in its own morose way. Essentially, this is equally superb as both a debut AND a Gothic rock record, especially the latter as it ticks so many confession boxes. They’ve really captured the cold emotions and melodic yet monotonous vibe of the era so well, and old-school Goth fans are going to want to pick up a copy of this on vinyl as it’s going to sound absolutely incredible. Cathedral In Flames are legit lit fam…now, Quasimodo, about your home insurance…[7]

2019 has like most years, been a strong year for new music. It doesn't matter what genre we're talking about; it's been a year of triumphant returns, exploratory and experimental albums and EP's and an overall win for you and me, the consumer. Over the past 12 months, in between changes in my personal life with relationships and employment, undertaking a completely new job with no prior training or background, I've still done my best to keep on top of new music, more specifically my reviews, despite my own mental health which I don't really talk about much. With all of that said, I've still managed to listen to a total of 274 brand new EP's and albums in 2019 and out of all of those, I've managed to whittle down that number to a categorised series of Best Of lists. Ranging from EP's specifically, to pop music, metal and my own personal favourite releases of the year, I've managed to expand my listening experiences and broaden my horizons to allow myself to grow as a reviewer, and these albums sum that up quite well in my opinion. While I've already shared these lists on social media, such as my Twitter ( @GavinJGriffiths ) my Instagram ( @gavthegothicchav ) and my Facebook page ( www.facebook.com/GTGCReviews ) I wanted to give a more in-depth look at my choices for the year, and my individual scoring of each record...essentially doing a Dave Meltzer star-rating system for each individual track. I hope you find my choices interesting, and as usual, I've compiled my official Spotify end of year playlist which I've included at the bottom of this post for your listening pleasure. Here's to 2020 where all of this starts again...until next time...have a happy new year, and, A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY! 

20] KILO KISH - "Redux" EP - 1.60/5
19] HEAVY LUNGS - "Measure" EP - 1.60/5
18] NAUT - "Semele" EP - 1.66/5
17] INTERPOL - "A Fine Mess" EP 1.80/5
16] POPPY - "Choke" EP - 1.80/5
15] SODOM - "Out Of The Fontline Trench" EP - 1.80/5
14] YUNGBLUD - "The Underrated Youth" EP - 1.83/5
13] BENNY BASSETT - "Words For Yesterday" EP - 1.83/5
12] 8MM - "Heart Shaped Hell" EP - 2.00/5
11] MILEY CYRUS - "She Is Coming" EP - 2.00/5
10] CATHEDRAL IN FLAMES - "Children Of The Blackest Hole" EP - 2.20/5
09] SKYLAR GREY - "Angel With Tattoos" EP - 2.20/5
08] SUN ARCANA - "Just Another Dream Away" EP - 2.20/5
07] PALAYE ROYALE - "Massacre, The New American Dream" EP - 2.25/5
06] YEAR OF THE LOCUST - "Year Of The Locust" EP - 2.25/5
05] RXPTRS - "I" EP - 2.40/5
04] LIL NAS X - "7" EP - 2.50/5
03] HAWTHORN AVENUE - "Wildfire" EP - 2.50/5
02] HER DESPAIR - "Exorcisms Of Eroticism" EP - 2.50/5
01] SOME VILLAINS - "Outliars" EP - 2.75/5

20] P!NK - "Hurts 2 B Human" - 1.53/5
19] BASTILLE - "Doom Days" - 1.54/5
18] TOM WALKER - "What A Time To Be Alive" - 1.57/5
17] BILLIE EILISH - "When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go" - 1.57/5
16] EMMA BUNTON - "My Happy Place" - 1.60/5
15] POST MALONE - "Hollywood's Bleeding" - 1.64/5
14] BLACKPINK - "In Your Area" - 1.66/5
13] KERLI - "Shadow Works" - 1.66/5
12] MIKA - "My Name Is Michael Holbrook" - 1.69/5
11] ALICE MERTON - "Mint" - 1.81/5
10] SIGRID - "Sucker Punch" - 1.83/5
09] LEWIS CAPALDI - "Divinely Inspired To A Hellish Extent" - 1.83/5
08] MARINA - "Love + Hate" - 1.87/5
07] DAVE - "Psychodrama" - 1.90/5
06] BUSTED - Half Way There" - 1.90/5
05] WILDWOOD KIN - "Wildwood Kin" - 2.10/5
04] WILL YOUNG - "Lexicon" - 2.16/5
03] JAMES BLUNT - "Once Upon A Mind" - 2.18/5
02] HANTE. - "Fierce" - 2.23/5
01] SCANDROID - "The Light" - 2.28/5

20] KHAIDIAN - "Penumbra" - 2.00/5
19] INCITE - "Built To Destroy" - 2.00/5
18] LEACH - "Hymns For The Hollow" - 2.00/5
17] SWALLOW THE SUN - "When A Shadow Is Forced Into The Light" - 2.00/5
16] HEARTSICK - "Sleep Cycles" - 2.07/5
15] CRYSTAL LAKE - "Helix" - 2.08/5
14] AS I LAY DYING - "Shaped By Fire" - 2.08/5
13] KILLSWITCH ENGAGE - "Atonement" - 2.09/5
12] FALLUJAH - "Undying Light" - 2.10/5
11] AFTERLIFE - "Breaking Point" - 2.10/5
10] THROUGH THE NOISE - "Dualism" - 2.11/5
09] KAAMOS WARRIORS - "Ikuisen Talven Sarastus" - 2.12/5
08] ABIGAIL WILLIAMS - "Walk Beyond The Dark" - 2.14/5
07] AMON AMARTH - "Berzerker" - 2.16/5
06] MEGADETH - "Warheads On Foreheads" - 2.20/5
05] SOILWORK - "Verkligheten" - 2.33/5
04] DEMON HUNTER - "War" - 2.40/5
03] CORRODED - "Bitter" - 2.41/5
02] ROTTING CHRIST - "The Heretics" - 2.41/5
​01] CHILDREN OF BODOM - "Hexed" - 2.45/5

20] RISKEE & THE RIDICULE - "Body Bag Your Scene" - 2.33/5
19] DEMON HUNTER - "Peace" - 2.40/5
18] THE DIRTY YOUTH - "Utopia" - 2.40/5
17] DREAMSTATE - "Primrose Path" - 2.40/5
16] THE WRAITH - "Gloom Ballet" - 2.41/5
15] NORTHLANE - "Alien" - 2.45/5
14] D-A-D - "A Prayer For The Loud" - 2.45/5
13] PAPA ROACH - "Who Do You Trust?" - 2.50/5
12] SUM 41 - "Order In Decline" - 2.50/5
11] IN FLAMES - "I, The Mask" - 2.50/5
10] WHILE SHE SLEEPS - "So What?" - 2.54/5
09] BAD RELIGION - "Age Of Unreason" - 2.57/5
08] LINDEMANN - "F & M" - 2.69/5
07] WEEZER - "Teal Album" - 2.75/5
06] MOTIONLESS IN WHITE - "Disguise" - 2.81/5
05] RAMMSTEIN - "Rammstein" - 2.90/5
04] YONAKA - "Don't Wait 'Til Tomorrow" - 3.00/5
03] LACUNA COIL - "Black Anima" - 3.18/5
02] THE 69 EYES - "West End" - 3.27/5
01] BLAQK AUDIO - "Only Things We Love" - 3.33/5

Few things in this world entertain me more than the idea of terrifying little children. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t belong on a register before you all jump the gun here, (I have three names, none of which are Jimmy and/or Saville) but I’m talking about when kids get legitimately scared. You’ve all seen little YouTube videos or Vines etc., where kids get startled by something or, if a parent pranks them in scary mask or whatever, and they end up bursting out crying and running away in some sort of mild panic attack, squealing and screaming…that shits funny! Well today’s band takes a more philosophical look at that entire concept; let’s catch up with NIGHTMARES FROM THE DISCOTHEQUE.

Formerly going by the moniker of MASSIVE HORSE, I discovered the Cardiff based duo of Canz Rickman and Rick Schaple many moons ago when they supported firm favourites of mine ELECTRIC SIX at a show in the Welsh capital, and I’ve been an admirer ever since. Their penchant for comedic song writing based on social commentary is genuinely entertaining, and they’ve managed to get the balance between humour and musical integrity spot on. I often reference STEEL PANTHER in these situations, where the joke and gimmick has truly worn thin, but NFTD continue to be both inspired and creative.

Regardless of whichever name they go by however, they’ve proven in the past that they can mix horror and comedy very well indeed. Whether it’s the brilliantly catchy vampire parody “She Only Comes Out At Night”, or the sexually haunting “Phantom Pregnancy”, they do enjoy dabbling in the darker aspects of entertainment, and their new track backs that up wonderfully; “Real Things To Scare Your Children”. Yes their new Halloween track see’s the pair in character, cos-playing as ‘Robert Smyth’ and ‘Marilyn Maanson’ in brilliantly tongue-in-cheek fashion, as they take us on a tour of Marilyn’s Mansion in the accompanying music video, where we aren’t subject to the hauntings of ghosts and monsters, but real life adult problems such as taxes, declined credit card payments, running out of toilet paper and all manner of horrifying scenarios. If you appreciate a spot of dark humour and want to inject a little fun into this year’s Halloween party playlist, you can find the track on Apple Music, iTunes and Spotify, the links to which are on the NFTD Facebook profile, linked below. Check out the video, and leave a comment sharing what scares YOU…personally in a sense of twisted irony, I’m afraid of horses, so I’m glad they dropped the Massive Horse name, I mean, normal sized horses are bad enough! FUCK! THAT!

Gothic music has for the most part; got a bit of stigma or, a reputation from the non-initiated…many simply view it as maybe just a tad miserable or, maybe even slightly suicidal, and to be fair these CAN be traits of the genre. There are of course those however more acquainted to this, misunderstood style and its nuances, that find the beauty amidst the often bleak poetic content, but most people simply think “Fuck me this is depressing!”… Today’s band doesn’t particularly help things in that sense…let’s talk about LACRIMAS PROFUNDERE.

The German outfit (Now consisting of vocalist Julian Larre, guitarist Oliver Nikolas Schmid and drummer Dominik Scholz) have a name that translated from Latin, literally means ‘To Shed Tears’…so we’re practically crying before we even press play, fucking amazing start! I digress…while the bands origins in the early 90’s harboured more of a progressive doom aesthetic, they over time switched up their sound to the more iconic Gothic / dark rock style we know and love today, but that doesn’t mean we’re alleviated from the doom and gloom…au contraire, there’s just marginally less doom! 2019 finds the band releasing their 12th studio album; “Bleeding The Stars”…so, Kleenex at the ready then folks; but will we be shedding happy tears in the end? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with “I Knew And Will Forever Know” and in all honesty it’s a pretty slow, lumbering start. The initial guitars seem to drag alongside Larre’s vocal drawl as if they’ve already given up the ghost so to speak, such is the level of sonic misery. We do get a little more lively for the chorus mind you, as the percussion picks up, accompanying heavier, more tortured vocals; really walking a fine line between their doom-metal back ground and a more melodic, melancholy. This is for the most part a reoccurring theme throughout this ten-track album…”Mother Of Doom” being a prime example (The clue is in the name to be honest). Although to be fair, as dreary as it is superficially, it’s the deep baritone croon of Larre that allows this track to connect with the listener. It’s low-key, low tempo and generally minimalistic but it’s the mood and atmosphere that carries this…it’s actually incredibly well delivered and while it isn’t about to kick start any parties, it has to be applauded.

While a lot of this album is a touch bleak, there are some enjoyable highlights that twinkle in the darkness; flashes of brilliance from this dying star if you will. “After All Those Infinities” for example really ramps up the tempo and for its brief run time it manages to deliver a boisterous, albeit brief melodic hard rock number; the kind of track that leaves you wanting more. “Father Of Fate”, unlike the preceding mother, is far more upbeat…perhaps he’s won some brutal custody battle? Who knows? Regardless, its hook-laden synth-driven style, coupled with the well balanced dual vocal approach of deep crooning and pissed-off snarling, makes for an entertaining listen. The real stand-out however comes in the form of “Celestite Woman”…the simplicity of the chugging bass, the lyricism and overall song structure coupled with the abundance of melody; this easily lives up to previous gems such as “The Shadow I Once Kissed” and “My Velvet Little Darkness” as an individual highlight, and it’s Lacrimas at their brilliantly bleakest best. This album though as a whole may not live up to some previous standards, 2004 to 2010 was a superb timeline in all honesty, but this is a solid Gothic rock album that hits most of the right filthy notes, in spite of how low they are. [7]

Back in 2015, THE DIRTY YOUTH were primed and ready to spearhead a new wave of Welsh alternative rock. Their sophomore album “Gold Dust” received critical acclaim (Including most importantly of course, my own) and fans were lapping up their evolution as artists. While they experimented with new styles and ideas, not only did their sound grow, but so did their reputation as one of the UK’s hottest rising bands…and I guess you could say they had a golden touch?

Their rise continued while touring with established acts such as INME, ALIEN ANT FARM and FOZZY, resulting eventually in them finding themselves being the first ever signees to the newly created Marshall Records, with their new material set to be recorded at the legendary Abbey Road Studios. However, after the initial release of the single “Hurricane”, things seemed to come off the boil…the gold dust had settled and everything seemed quiet. Fast forward to 2019 and the band are no longer on the Marshal Records roster (With “No Results Found” on the website) and they’ve released their anticipated third album with the help of Kickstarter…so what happened? Let’s search “Utopia” for some answers…

We open up with the title track and we’re initially met with the apparent childlike innocence of a glockenspiel, before we make way for the more familiar, up-tempo rocking instrumentation we’ve come to expect. The ideology of the intro here, seeming to metaphorically at least take us back to simpler times, with the song itself then acting as a rallying cry of sorts. Lyrically we deal with concepts of revolutions, scrapping societal norms and starting afresh for a better world…there’s a sense of frustration fuelling this track and it’s a decent opener.

If you’re familiar with The Dirty Youth you’ll likely expect a fair few decent tracks spanning this new record, given their previous, and really here you won’t be too disappointed. “Horizon” continues the bands experimentation with a more futuristic, electronic sound, combining simplistic hooks and riffs, a quaint piano melody and layered synths, for a catchy piece of alt. pop. If you prefer TDY of old though, then you’ll more than likely get a kick out of “One Dance”…with it’s harder percussion and a more guitar driven approach it’s one of the rockiest, traditional sounding tracks on the album and Danni flexes her vocals that bit more, allowing for a really bold, really enjoyable track. By contrast, “Lights” utilises a far slower build, opting for a more soulful, power-pop / ballad aesthetic…this chorus is absolutely bouncing however and it’s this dichotomy that makes the track appealing; full of emotive and instrumental fluctuation.

Their previous single makes a reappearance here as “Hurricane Pt.2” and here we find the track has been given a bit of a makeover; a slight revamp, as it’s considerably more up-beat and up-tempo, sounding more like a polished track as opposed to more of a demo, which this makes the initial single sound like now. “The Ballad Of San Frandisco” also reappears having undergone the same treatment. No longer a B-side; its synth-driven retro qualities make for a clear album highlight, and it still gets brownie points for the name. San Frandisco…made me do a chuckle that.

The rest of the album to be fair maintains a fairly solid, consistent level of quality…there are no real negatives here to be perfectly honest. The band know how to reel you in with a good hook, they’ve always written great melodies, and when called upon, they CAN rock out with the best of them…I guess the only real issue of this record, is that there isn’t enough of that. The ten tracks here are fine, there’s nothing wrong with the run-time, but there are times you can’t help but feel this is a band that are, for some reason, holding back. Danni Monroe has a truly remarkable voice and can properly belt them out, but there’s a level of restraint here for some reason and it stops this album going from good to great. It’s not lacking quality, but at times it is lacking a bit more oomph…The Dirty Youth here sound a bit too…clean? [7]

So what’s YOUR favourite type of knot? Is it a Half Hitch? Perhaps a Bowline or a Sheet Bend? Of course not, we all know its SLIPKNOT, and with bloody good reason! The Iowan nonet started life in the mid-to-late 90’s and from day one they practically turned the world on its head, over time becoming arguably the biggest modern metal band on the planet. Between the mystery of their masked persona’s and the brutality of their early crossover genre-mashing, it didn’t take them long to get noticed, and they helped revolutionise alternative music as we know it. Sure, there have been trials and tribulations along the way, but the band have always bounced back stronger than ever…proven emphatically on their last album; 2014’s “.5: The Gray Chapter”.

Following the death of bassist Paul Gray, the band found themselves in purgatory, and the resulting album was both the closure of one chapter of Slipknot, a nod to Paul and an appreciation of everything preceding it, but also the beginning of a new era; a rebirth, and all signs pointed towards a brutal, unrelenting future. What exactly did that future have in store? Well aside from keeping things ticking over with festival appearances and a live album, the band did initially return in 2018 with a rare stand-alone single “All Out Life”, reminding fans that they were still very much active creatively, with the track itself acting as a rallying cry, encouraging everyone to live in the now and not dwell on the past. This only got fans excited for what was to come…and what came was this; “We Are Not Your Kind”. What direction were Slipknot heading in in this new chapter of their storied career? I challenge you to all-out fucking listen with me…

We open up with “Insert Coin” and we’re greeted with a strangely ominous intro-track fuelled by semi-retro arcade style synths that meander gently, as the instrumentation washes over you with a calming motion. It’s as though we’re on the title screen here getting ready to press play and dive into this brand new game as Corey says in a chilling manner “I’m counting all the killers..” and it’s an interesting start. First track proper then “Unsainted” gets the album underway properly and what an opener…from the initially haunting children’s choir it gradually builds in atmosphere and intensity until it explodes into a frenzy of blistering vocals with pummelling riffs and percussion. It carries on from the previous album in terms of delivery; blending visceral verses with a clean, hook-rich chorus. It’s a powerful track.

From here on in however, the album gets VERY interesting…recent single “Birth Of The Cruel” slows things down with a more methodical riff and plenty of tinny percussion. Vocally clean for the most part until Corey lets rip during the chorus segments, countered by Sid Wilson’s trademark scratching harking back to the bands earlier days. “Death Because Of Death” is our first interlude and takes on an almost hypnotic tribal tone; simple and repetitive before transitioning  straight into “Nero Forte”, instantly waking up the listener with more classic Slipknot riffs and up-tempo lyricism, again bridging the gap between the now and the bands early years. Another album highlight, “Critical Darling”, continues on with the “…Gray Chapter” aesthetic with plenty of key-changes, vocal switch-up techniques and allows for a variety of sensations, fluctuating effortlessly between harsh and harmonious.

​This fluctuation is a reoccurring theme throughout the whole album in all honesty; it zigs where you think it’ll zag and vice versa…”Red Flag” is a traditionally blistering onslaught, fuelled by a frantic pacing and old-school aesthetic, again harking back to the Knot’s earlier days, while interlude “What’s Next” comes across as actual elevator music! Like, seriously lads what the fuck is next? Where else can you take this? “Spiders” houses an almost Halloween-esque piano lead allowing for a generally creepier vibe, bordering on polyrhythmic in places; it’s got a subtle prog delivery, before we eventually end on promotional single “Solway Firth”. Coming full circle from the intro, we count all the killers over a typically bombastic masked-metal approach that bridges gaps between modern era and the “…Subliminal Verses” days.

Ultimately what can be said about the Iowan’ nine in 2019? Their groove-heavy, pulverising metal is still there in abundance and coupled with their nu-metal origins, thrash sensibilities and Corey’s ability to deliver a mainstream alternative anthem, Slipknot are as Slipknot as ever here but MORE. There are no real definitive hits like “Dead Memories” or “Snuff” to appeal to the wider audience…fuck no; if anything they’ve gone the opposite direction. Sure there are some great hooks throughout this record, but the presentation here showcases so much experimentation and a lack of fucks given this is arguably Slipknot’s most prog-metal album to date. It doesn’t settle for a style, not even Slipknot’s own, and that’s where it deserves praise. We all know Slipknot can and will deliver, it’s practically a given these days, but they still opted to tear up their own rule-book and go crazy. “We Are Not Your Kind” is a metaphorical middle finger to not only the fans that just want Iowa 2.0, but also metal in general. It might be more experimental to what you are used to from the Clown and co…but fuck me this is a Slipknot album and a half. Insert another coin mate, I want another go at this…[7]