This is not, the greatest review in the world; no…this is just a tribute…a tribute to a once mighty beast…whose powers have been depleted faster than Superman getting pegged with a Kryptonite dildo. Yes we’re here today to remember TENACIOUS D. Back in 2001, the comedy rock duo of Jack Black and Kyle Gass would become one of the greatest cult phenomenon’s of modern alternative music, with tracks like “Wonderboy”, “Tribute” of course and not forgetting “Fuck Her Gently”, not only bridging the gap between music and comedy, but doing it so effectively. EVERYONE would sing along to these, and the sketches that littered their self-titled debut were genuinely amusing, but alas, the laughter wouldn’t last too long…

Their follow up project “The Pick Of Destiny” (Both an album and a motion picture) didn’t do so well, (At the box-office especially) losing money and receiving mixed to negative reviews; it seemed like they’d undertaken too much…perhaps their fifteen minutes was already up? The joke seemingly already wearing thin…however to the surprise of many, they returned in 2012 with the attempted come-back album “Rise Of The Fenix”. A shot at redemption, it did get them nominated for a Grammy award for Best Comedy Album, but the quality simply wasn’t matching up to their debut and although they’d grown as musicians, they’d faded somewhat as entertainers. This leads us to 2018 and again, surprisingly, we find The D releasing another studio album’ “Post-Apocalypto”. Another concept here, it coincides with their own mini animated YouTube series (I use the term animated very loosely) following their struggles and adventures in, you guessed it, a post-apocalyptic world…but is it worth the listen?

We open up with the “Post-Apocalypto Theme” and as it acts as the animations theme song it really is only a brief jingle at best…a pacey flurry of acoustic guitar and percussion backing Jack Black’s trademark dramatic vocal. It’s up-tempo, catchy enough and easy listening,  ironically ending with the line ‘Tenacious D has got to shine’…almost acknowledging previous failures. Sadly, not only are any further ACTUAL musical highlights so few and far between, over an album consisting of TWENTY ONE tracks bare in mind…but those twenty one tracks only have a 30 MINUTE run time…this really isn’t boding well. The tracks (If you can call them that honestly) that do manage to stand out are “Hope”, which delivers a sweet little acoustic ditty that transitions its way into a power ballad of sorts…there’s “Making Love” which can be looked upon in one of two ways; either it’s a spiritual successor to “Fuck Her Gently” or they’ve simply tried to emulate themselves with shamefully recycled ideas (STEEL PANTHER much?).

The random references to Elon Musk and Richard Branson during “Take Us Into Space” push for a little bit of fourth-wall breaking but as a track it’s typical as it comes; it’s accompanying skit “I’ve Got To Go” no more than standard D shenanigans really. Finding further musical points of worth is difficult…”Daddy Ding Dong” opts for a more metal inspired piece, Jack Black does love a hard rocking riff but it’s nothing shy of ridiculous. There’s sketches about sex with cave women, a random, pro-KKK piece featuring an anti-gay march, there’s a clichéd German character, all tied in to some Donald Trump references…I mean what the ACTUAL fuck? ”JB JR Rap” has a deep, dark hip-hop synth beat and some auto tune which is probably the most interesting thing musically here which says A LOT, before we end up finishing rocking out on “Woman Time” and the reprise of the theme song. Ultimately, as an accompanying album, this really falls flat and feels more like a brief collection of sound bites AT BEST…if you’re going to invest any time in new Tenacious D material, stick to the animation on YouTube, as this really fails on record. As audio content, it not only feels rushed together, but it misses the mark entirely regarding humour…there’s nothing wrong with being crude and childish occasionally, but this is just cringe-worthy, I sadly believe the D in their name now simply stands for Done. [1]

Those of you who know me or follow this blog kind of grasp that, without beating around the bush, I’m not too up on my rap game. Sure I listen to the odd record for diversity’s sake (A bit like how Steve Hughes goes from Slayer to Enya) but ultimately my rap knowledge and awareness is sub-par at best…thinking about it that’s actually generous, I mean shit did you SEE my rapped review for the newest EMINEM record? HA! It never stops me checking out new music however and thanks to my latest reader’s poll, it was suggested that I sample some Posty…sadly I’m not on any illegal substances and this isn’t about to become the weirdest review of Postman Pat you’ve ever seen…we’re about to delve into the world of POST MALONE.

The New York born rapper has had an interesting  journey into the music industry it has to be said; one of the few rap artists who can pull off not only a fun, rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic, but remain relatively down to Earth about everything while at it, all while sustaining multi-platinum status as a rapper. I mean it’s not often you hear a rapper cite Guitar Hero and emo icons like MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE as a musical influences growing up, but despite this, Posty is now one of the biggest names in modern hip-hop and the recent mumble-rap explosion. Hammering home this point, here we have his most recent album “Beerbongs & Bentleys” highlighting both aspects of Post Malone’s crazy success story…let’s check it out…

We open up this 18-track monster of a record with “Paranoid” and for the most part it’s your typically low-fi, melodic, pop-infused hip-hop track; the slow, smooth rhythm and minimalistic instrumentation, coupled with the auto-tune laced vocal leads this to pretty standard radio-friendly stuff. The autobiographical lyrics speak of his circumstances since finding fame, always watching his back, wanting that normality but when those cheques came; people changed, and despite his accomplishments it’s given him anxiety; an interesting, character building start. The level of self-awareness continues through “Spoil My Night” too, which focuses on the opposite side of the coin, knowing he can use his new found wealth and fame to get the girl with the ‘beautiful boobies’…and that’s a QUOTE I shit you not. While not entirely bragging, he’s aware enough to know the behaviour is toxic and to a degree there’s a level of morality layered within the lyrics.

With over an hour’s worth of music to mull over there’s plenty to talk about here, and we have to talk about some of the collaborations on this record for sure…and this includes the lead single “Rockstar” featuring 21 SAVAGE. The mumble-rap qualities are all the more prominent and it’s easy to see how the modern Soundcloud rap movement helped shape artists like Post Malone. Another minimalist, trap-based track, it really benefits from the less-is-more approach with a slick beat and down-tempo groove, although 21’s vocals couldn’t possibly be any flatter…honest to god he’d better avoid Sweden, Ikea will try to sell him off as a fucking shelf unit that’s how flat he is! Another single “Ball For Me” featuring NICKI MINAJ delivers too with some sickly-sweet retro synths and benefits from Minaj’s more up-tempo lyrical pace and tone, she’s been on form in 2018 taking into account her album “Queen”, they work well together and the track compliments them both.

Posty likes to shake things up a little bit now and again mind and examples of this here are “Stay”, which is honestly a decent little acoustic-based ballad, highlighting his ability as a song-writer, while “Over Now” despite retaining the more guitar driven style, has a more subtle, alternative indie-rock feel to it, channelling those early influences. If there’s anything negative to be said here really it’s simply on a matter of consumption; there is so much to digest here and there are times where you can’t help but feel going over the hour mark was at the very least excessive. For the most part, despite the aforementioned tracks, he CAN come across as a little vocally one-dimensional and it seems he’s quite content with his overall formula…I mean it’s working for him don’t get me wrong, but 18 cuts is a couple of beerbongs too many to be honest, I’d be more inclined to call an Uber than get in the Bentley in this condition. Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable album for the most part and I’m happy to learn that Post Malone isn’t some terribly named new sub-genre, unless he claims it as his own…I really wouldn’t put it past him. [7]

​GIRL! I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! Well, to be honest, actually I don’t, BUT, I DO however want to take you on a journey, to remind you about one of the most underrated, hardest working bands on the planet; ELECTRIC SIX. I preach this practically every year, and that’s simply because, whether you’re aware of it or not, Electric Six have practically released a new album EVERY FUCKING YEAR since “Fire”, and frankly not enough people take notice!

People may naturally assume that, to be so prolific creatively, to produce a full album a year and complete all their touring commitments, it really must be a case of quantity over quality? And sure over the years, the band have dropped a lot of their overtly blatant ridiculousness, but having spoken to front man Dick Valentine, it’s interesting to learn that, despite him being very much the face and voice of the band, it’s very much a group effort. Each member of the band in fact writes three or four songs for each album cycle, resulting in a lot of time being saved and more importantly, a rich tapestry of differing styles and influences shaping each and every record. With that in mind, we’re about to delve into album number FOURTEEN; “Bride Of The Devil”…let’s get hitched…

With Dick’s typically dry-humour we open up with “The Opener” and I do like it when things get to the point it has to be said…with its subtle distortion and sludgy riffs, accompanied by plenty of vocal wails, plus Dick favouring his gritty, higher pitched delivery here, almost channelling an AC/DC-esque style, it’s an intense but enjoyable start. This actually carries through the first half of the album with some truly solid cuts from E6, keeping momentum going at a steady but satisfying pace…tracks like “You’re Toast” musically slowing things down for the most part, opting for a semi-blues rock offering, with Dick’s vocals full of piss and vinegar, to a degree akin to something CLUTCH might produce, which is always a good thing, while “(It Gets A Little) Jumpy” is a quaint little acoustic number, full of smooth melody and Summery hooks; it really is a lovely little track.

The second half of the album however….sadly; doesn’t match the same quality. It exceeds it! It honestly just gets stronger as it goes on and seriously, the band is on top form here…”Hades Ladies” saunters in with its gravelly rock ‘n’ roll vibe and deep groove; full of swagger and confidence…the title track utilises more of a simplistic synth-based hook layered within some classic rock influences, especially the brief solo which would easily please fans of THE DARKNESS for example, before album highlight “Witches Burning” delivers some classic E6 with its bluesy guitar licks and quality riff-work with an anthemic chorus…this is quality.

The album DOES drop the ball slightly with its closing track “The Worm In The Wood” as the sudden drop in tempo isn’t so much of a come-down as a let-down, with the latter half of the album getting you pumped up, hoping for an explosive climax. The tinny almost tropical guitar’s giving off an almost CHRIS ISAAK vibe which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it can’t help but feel ever so slightly anti-climactic. Overall however that’s a minor annoyance that doesn’t take away from what is admittedly a superb album…fourteen albums in and Electric Six are still as consistent and reliable as ever, on this instance maybe even more so, as it’s one of their strongest collection of songs in a few years now…if I may paraphrase the great BILLY IDOL…it’s a nice day for a white wedding; it’s a nice day to, start listening to Electric Six again. [8]

Beige; such a vibrant colour…it’s got so much depth and character, it’s such an interesting and thought-provoking colour…said absolutely NO ONE ever. Beige is usually only found in the unused dust covered section of the B&Q paint chart, or in the mug-shots of Burberry-clad young offenders, but more often than not it’s used descriptively as a negative, aimed at only the blandest, most unexciting things you can think of…and this is where today’s band comes in; let me introduce you to a band called SCRATCH.

Yep, that’s right, Scratch…just Scratch, what an utterly unimaginative name…people mock HIM but at least that’s representative of the occult, but Scratch? I mean, scratch what? My arse? I dread to think of the names you thought WEREN’T good enough! Anyway we’ve only just scratched the surface…see what I did there? THAT’S ABOUT AS GOOD A USE FOR YOUR NAME AS ANY! PUNS! I digress…the band consists of members Ruzbeh Irani and Avinash Lalwani, (Ruz and Avi for short) and not only are they band mates, but childhood friends, yet what DOES make things interesting, is the fact they live thousands of miles apart, in New York and Perth, Australia respectively! This however, is literally all the info we’re given…you may think they were keeping the initial email brief, but no! I’ve checked their Facebook profile AND their actual website and that’s ALL the information! Even their bio is beige! It’s like they aren’t even trying! I’m losing interest already, but, it IS their debut EP so I’ll put it down to inexperience…what’s the EP called…”Scratch”…it’s self-titled…DAMNIT ARE YOU THAT PROUD OF THAT NAME!?!?! Let’s check it out before I burst a blood vessel…

We open up with “Soak” (I'm surprised it wasn't "Sniff") and initially it’s as though we’re heading into country blues-rock territory, but it quickly erupts with a grandiose post-rock dose of tinny guitar and percussion…the vocals are interesting in the sense that, while initially weak, they are belted out in the chorus, giving the track multiple personalities. The pitch of the backing vocals in places however is excruciating, and over its five minutes it crams in a fair amount of style, simultaneously sounding like it’s lost somewhere between U2, RADIOHEAD the PSYCHEDELIC FURS, there’s a very alternative 90’s vibe to this. “Newer Things” follows up and continues the soft vocal delivery over some light indie tones, before again cranking it up for the chorus, allowing for more vigour and general energy from the instrumentation with a slightly more distorted guitar sound, it’s quite 50/50 really.

Next up we have “I Don’t Mind” and they’re happy to point out that it’s the first song they wrote as a band and that it’s one of their favourites…carrying forward the initial soft country blues tone to the guitar, coupled with the mellow vocals, it’s got that saloon vibe to it…you can picture the montage right now; the lone outlaw slowly strolling into town at dawn, drinking liquor and smoking cigars…the subtle attitude of the electric guitar creating an aura of suspense and this is easily the best track on the EP right here, before we finish up on “The Key”.  A slow, methodical and utterly lifeless track that just drones on pointlessly with a repetitive riff and a grating, brassy guitar tone, seriously it’s so drowsy…that is until the intense almost punk-rock flurry of the chorus, but sadly these elements don’t complement each other, oh no, this song just feels broken…descending into a barrage of noise at the tracks climax. Was the key in question referring to the intake of cocaine? Because this song literally sounds like they did a studio take of before and after sniffing…ultimately Scratch sound like a band with a multitude of influences, but they’ve yet to settle on an idea as to what they want their sound to be…this sounds very trial and error. Truthfully they’d make a genuinely decent shoegaze based, blues country outfit should they keep things mellow and melodic, but the jarring rock instrumentation and rough vocals don’t benefit them at all. I guess you could say that, they should…start from scratch, which reminds me…FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKS SAKE CHANGE YOUR NAME! [3]

The rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle…very much akin to that of any Santa Carla vampire really; you know…party all night and all that malarkey…well it turns out, a couple of UK bands didn’t get that memo last year! Maybe it’s just coincidence but both YOU ME AT SIX and today’s band, DEAF HAVANA (Despite charting favourably) pretty much underperformed and underwhelmed with their previous albums “Night People” and “All These Countless Nights” respectively. They may have been children of the night but oh what music they DIDN’T make…well this year both bands are aiming for redemption with swift follow-up records. I’ve already covered YMA6’s new one “VI” over at www.allabouttherock.co.uk but here I’m going to be looking at Havana’s new LP entitled “Rituals”.

Written with a fresh, interesting approach; here we found front-man James Veck-Gilodi throwing out the usual Deaf Havana rule-book to jot down no more than just some potential song names first. He would then write songs according to those titles, fitting the lyrics and music around those ideas and concepts, with the band then completing them in the studio once satisfied. The end result? The 13 tracks we have right now making up “Rituals”…let’s check it out.

The album rather appropriately opens up with “Wake” and while a completely separate body of work it’s still as though there’s this redeeming narrative that both aforementioned bands are focusing on; the morning after the night before, referencing the previous albums. No more than a 40 second intro with the words “You can fall” repeated in a choir-esque fashion…very hushed but slowly climbing in volume and presence, before cutting off and leading into first track proper “Sinner”. An incredibly jovial track combining elements of soft indie-rock and boy-band pop melodies; an incredibly light-hearted take on James’ own personal past experiences; a song of admittance and acceptance delivered with a very British stiff upper lip, but it’s very easy listening and enjoyable.

This general tone musically carries through the album fairly consistently…even conceptually as far as the single-word song titles. “Holy” utilises a subtle, underlying funk-inspired feel coinciding with the already established indie-pop vibe, backed with more choir accompaniment courtesy of the London Contemporary Voice Choir…”Worship” too with its percussion-driven acoustic tones and minimal synths makes for a very laid back listen, which can also be said for “Fear”, while album highlight “Pure” is rich in rhythm and delivers a simple yet effective chorus, even teasing at James’ grittier vocal qualities, highlighting his passion as a singer.

Some of the tracks do plod along, barely escaping 2nd gear towards the end of the album mind, with “Heaven” again utilising the help of the choir, providing gospel-inspired gang vocals over a generally slower, stripped back track, while the albums longest offering “Saint” makes you wish you had the patience of one. God it’s so slow and boring…I mean it’s touching, but boring…and who really wants to feel bored when touched? I’m getting off topic now…ahem…that sadly too leads us into the closing track “Epiphany” and it’s here I had a sudden realisation; this track is also sadly a bit dull, as well as feeling abrupt and almost unfinished. “Rituals” as a whole isn’t bad; it’s got its pleasant pop qualities, James is still a fine story-teller, plus it’s got more energy than its predecessor…and credit to them for experimenting with their entire approach to writing this time around. The only thing I will say is that know James can properly belt out the vocals when called upon with grit and conviction, he’s done so in the past, and this album again does lack some of that edge…other than that it’s a decent album. Now if you’ll excuse me I have my OWN rituals to sort out…these puppies aren’t going to sacrifice themselves…[6]

In the past I’ve touched upon how some professional wrestlers or, WWE Superstars, embark on musical careers outside of the squared circle; we can all agree that Chris Jericho is doing remarkably well with FOZZY (In all fairness Chris Jericho does remarkably well at everything he’s the motherfucking GOAT), while Jeff Hardy prefers the underground artistic freedom of expression with his band PEROXWHY?GEN (The presentation of that word still makes me feel like I’ve been driven through a Spanish announce table). However it’s rare when you can say that the WWE have fully invested in a character within kayfabe, to the point that they personally back a musical project to further strengthen a gimmick on screen. John Cena was given this treatment when he dropped his hip-hop album “You Can’t See Me” back in 2005 but, he was THE man, he was the one getting the push so it was to be expected…so it speaks volumes for how the company see’s ELIAS in 2018.

Elias (Real name Jeffrey Scuillo) has been part of WWE since joining NXT in 2014 and over the past couple of years has been developing his ‘drifter’ character, slowly but surely moving up to his current position on the Raw roster. More famed for his promo segments than his in-ring accomplishments, he can always be found with his guitar in hand attempting to sing to the crowd in each city visited, often in a degrading manner with a heel persona, before usually being interrupted by other superstars. The trouble is, despite being a heel in theory, his character and dry, sarcastic humour have won over the vast majority of the audience and he’s more often than not cheered, with the crowd fully aware that WWE now stands for ‘Walk With Elias’…in fact, he’s gotten so over, that WWE have backed him to the extent that they’ve allowed him to record a genuine EP, so with that… silence your cellphones, hold your applause and shut your mouths as we “Walk With Elias”…

The EP opens up with the elegantly titled “The Ballad Of Every Town I’ve Ever Been To” and it’s this track that’s essentially the foundation of Elias’ character on screen. A play on old songs such as “I’ve Been Everywhere” by GEOFF MACK made famous by LUCKY STARR, also later JOHNNY CASH, it highlight’s every town he’s had the misfortune of performing in, twisting the style to fit his heelish persona, but retaining the old acoustic, country charm. Rich in both melody and melancholy, all the while mocking each town, it makes for some classic cheap heat; wonderfully delivered. “Elias’ Words” utilises a similar approach with the country-blues inspired feel, really paying homage to the original southern style with his spoken word lyrical delivery, heavy on smarmy self-importance and portraying his character brilliantly.

“Nothing I Can’t Do” switches things up with a sombre piano ballad showcasing he’s far from a one-trick pony and has more moves than John Cena…lyrically self-aware, he displays a subtle arrogance to further that heel heat as he sings that he wrote this song on a piano, just to show you that he could, because he’s better than you, there is literally nothing he can’t do and with the exception of only tone, it’s a great comedy song, before closing track “Walk With Me” returns to the acoustic, blues style complete with husky drawl and emotive guitar solo channelling the likes of Orbison and Clapton. As far as anticipated releases go it’s safe to say that, this isn’t up there on the list, but for fans of WWE and Elias especially this is a great addition for collectors and also a superb extension of Elias’ character…it’s not ground-breaking musically but it does its job perfectly and credit to Elias’ and WWE especially for making this happen, such is their faith in him with the product. Forget walking with Elias, WWE have taken the gimmick and ran with it and it’s paying off, you just wish he was mocking your town too. [6]

That awkward moment when your girl asks you over for ‘Netflix & Chill’ but the Netflix is so good that the chill doesn’t happen…this, my friends, is what happens when you discover “Stranger Things”. Only two seasons strong, the Netflix original has garnered one of the strongest cult followings in recent TV history with its throwback 80’s tones and quaint sense of pop-culture nostalgia, combining sci-fi and low-key horror with classic teen-flick vibes, all wrapped up in homage to the likes of Stephen King. One of its main strengths is it’s incredible young cast and today we’re going to be focusing on one in particular; Finn Wolfhard. Now still only 15 years old the Canadian has shown some incredibly impressive acting chops not only with his drama and emotional skills in Stranger Things, but also in the remake of the aforementioned Stephen King’s “IT”, where he got to embrace a more comedic role and pulled it off brilliantly.

This isn’t Cinemassacre however and  we’re not here to review movies, but luckily Finn is a young lad of many talents and it’s here I’m going to point you in the direction of a band by the name of CALPURNIA, which he somehow finds the time for between film and TV! Founded in Vancouver just last year by Finn (Who’s on guitar and vocals) plus drummer Malcolm Craig, the band is completed by guitarist / vocalist Ayla Tesler-Mabe and bassist Jack Anderson, and they have already released a debut EP of original content entitled “Scout”. The question is, at their young age, do we find ourselves with another HANSON or heaven forbid, AARON CARTER? Let’s find out…

The EP opens up with a track called “Louie” and to my surprise we’ve got this restrained, stripped back, blues country type piece, but it also utilises a subtle, almost Caribbean tone; rich in its tinny-guitar and lulling ambiance. It’s an unexpectedly mature sound (Unless it’s been inspired by Spongebob) and nowhere near the energetic, colourful indie-pop I was expecting. The rawness of the track is hammered home by Finn’s vocals which here sound their weakest from a production perspective, but it only adds to the tracks character, really embracing the original feel for minimalist bluegrass. “Wasting Time” maintains the overall tone musically but here we have a little more of that energy I expected, embracing more of an early rock ‘n’ roll feel and it’s got a genuinely solid guitar solo to boot; this is much better.

“Greyhound” is a twee, melodic, up-beat track that’s disguising a certain sadness, as the story finds our character following a break up, travelling to a show alone after buying two tickets, you can feel his disappointment…the accompanying video too has a simple but effective message portraying everyone in life has a different path, but it’s all about the journey in the end as life always tends to work out eventually. Lead single “City Boy” returns to that raw, bluesy tone but has a simple but enjoyable chorus with gang vocals and happy-go-lucky vibe. “Blame” and “Waves” then round off the EP with a quirky, up-tempo indie piece and a more, relaxed, shoegaze inspired track respectively; the latter allowing Ayla to take a more prominent role vocally. Ultimately as I said previously the sound they’ve gone for is far more mature than what could have been expected and I don’t mean that with any sense of detriment…there’s zero sign of any commercial manufacturing here and it shows it’s not just a PR ploy to make Finn even more famous, this is about a BAND, not just Finn and that needs to be highlighted. They’ve written this EP the way THEY wanted it, and while it’s a little rough around the edges, if it’s something they want to stick at, working around Finn’s acting schedule, they have all the genuine potential to be a solid blues rock band; the talent is already there it just needs a little fine tuning. Let’s just hope Finn’s not eaten by a Demogorgon or some shit in Stranger Things season 3, or this project might find itself upside down too. [5]

I want you to cast your minds back just for a moment, to the year 2009…what a weird year in pop music that was. LADY GAGA exploded onto the world’s music scene with her debut album / virtual hit-factory “The Fame”…inspiring young women everywhere to dress like absolute twats…weeks before his massive come-back tour, MICHAEL JACKSON passes away from accidental overdose, making sure you double-checked your own prescription or else you too would be moonwalking to the morgue (On a serious note that was a bit unexpected)…SUSAN BOYLE became a thing, no really, that actually happened…and a little known artist by the name of OWL CITY would dominate the airwaves with THAT song “Fireflies”…seriously it was everywhere, like a synth-pop plague, going 19x platinum worldwide…you must remember, surely? I digress…following the immediate success of Owl City’s (Real name Adam Young) debut, he seemingly faded away…but he didn’t disappear. In addition to having worked on numerous film soundtracks including “The Croods” and “Wreck-It Ralph”, he now returns with his SIXTH studio album; “Cinematic”…shall we see what owl the fuss is about?

The album kicks off with “Fiji Water” and such is the innocent charm of the simplistic electronica I honestly thought this was inspired by the ‘Human Music’ from "Rick And Morty"…I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Jerry wasn’t singing this himself! Jokes aside, it combines the unsullied tinkling’s of a baby’s cot mobile stylistically with the sickly sweet vocals…the chorus is catchy enough and this is harmless pop music with some pleasant little hooks; a pretty safe start. Speaking of choruses, “Montana” delivers well with what could musically find itself at home on LINKIN PARKS’s “One More Light” album, naturally he’s no Chester but aesthetically it wouldn’t feel out of place, you can easily imagine Shinoda accompanying this.

Despite being known for the easy-listening electronica, there are a couple of tracks that utilise a more guitar driven approach…”Be Brave” being the first offering. Initially a delicate piano led piece, it takes advantage of the slow-build and gradually becomes this emotive, emo-rock track and it’s genuinely enjoyable as it kicks into gear. “Firebird” then swaps the piano for the acoustic strings and again, the hooks on this chorus are pretty infectious, allowing for a clear album highlight. This too can be said for “Lucid Dream” which when it gets going embraces a total European dance-pop characteristic…in the right hands a potential floor-filler this. By contrast then, the cutely titled “Not All Heroes Wear Capes” is a wonderful little tribute to his father via an acoustic ballad; equal parts nostalgic admiration and present-day appreciation.

While the tracks I’ve highlighted have their own charms and attributes…we can’t ignore the fact that, at eighteen tracks long…this is a lot of synth-pop to get through and given the very often butter-wouldn’t-melt level of innocence within the vocals and poppier-than-thou electronica, it can become overwhelming to the point of nausea. “House Wren” for example is just so incredibly corny, lyrically it makes my ears cringe…”Winners Never Quit” ironically made me want to abandon this review but I’m in too deep now…this might even make Charlie Sheen quit and he INVENTED winning! Aside from some alternate versions of tracks, the album officially closes on the title track and essentially it’s like an excuse to use a lot of movie-themed metaphors and analogies…no more. Essentially here, Owl City haven’t really changed one iota…their sweet electro-pop is still on the verge of troubling diabetics…while they can clearly still produce infectious, radio-conquering tunes, this album in its entirety is for want of a better word; excessive. [5]

When it comes to bands succeeding from day one, there are few in recent times who can honestly say they have hit the ground running as hard as FLORENCE + THE MACHINE…the London-born group fronted by Florence Welch dropped their debut “Lungs” back in 2009 and really haven’t looked back since. Multi-platinum sales, Brit Awards, Mercury Prize nominations…and that was just the debut! This form continued as both follow-up records “Ceremonials” and “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful” each respectively gave Florence a hat-trick of Number 1 albums and the accolades kept coming…however the style was slowly but surely changing and they were in time becoming more refined…and this leads us to 2018 where Florence released album number four; “High As Hope”. Self-produced by the band themselves, let’s see how the machine is operating these days…

The album opens up with, (Or at least tries to) “June” and I say that because there’s at least a 14 second delay between the start of the track and you being able to actually hear anything, and I honestly don’t know what this aims to achieve, coming across as more of a production error rather than having any beneficial point within the song. When the song IS flowing however we get a piano led, restrained little track, gently accompanying Florence’s instantly recognisable husky, sometimes warbled vocals. It does have a slight, climactic flurry but it’s abrupt ending spoils that completely. Were the spare 14 seconds meant to be this side of the song, instead of being empty? Here it just sounds incomplete; a poor start.

Lead single “Hunger” then follows and admittedly this is much better; with a more up-beat rhythm its sounding far more positive, with encouraging lyrics and a gospel-inspired clap-along accompaniment, coupled with soulful backing gang-vocals, this is Florence as we know her and she’s so easily capable of writing songs that simply ooze with joyousness; this being one of them. This is reinforced by the track “Patricia” which again has all of the classic F+TM traits, wonderfully blending soulful pop with energetic indie…the string sections and bold chorus allowing for a dynamic listen and again it allows for an enjoyable song. Florence has always had subtle gothic tendencies mind you and here it’s showcased by the ultra-moody “Big God”…the almost haunted, deeper tempo with its sultry tones and slow-build gives the album extra character overall and is a definite highlight.

This albums primary flaw however, is in fact how stripped back it actually is…as despite only being ten tracks long, it feels a lot longer because of the level of restriction, with an almost shoegaze appraoch utilised. “Grace” whilst on paper is an appropriately titled graceful little piano ballad, it feels incredibly drawn out, and as assertive as Florence is vocally the track fails to hold attention, so too do the albums closing tracks suffer similarly, with “The End Of Love” and “No Choir” rounding things off in lacklustre fashion. Yes the point of this album was a more personal, raw recording and that does indeed resonate through Flo’s vocals throughout, her ability as a performer can’t be questioned, but taking this direction has denied us the proper banger's we all know the band are capable of…there’s no rush and excitement of “Howl”…there’s no drama and climax of “What The Water Gave Me” and there’s no feisty attitude of “Kiss With A Fist”…instead, while we have a well matured album, it’s pretty much just Florence…the machine seems to be on standby. [5]

Having formed in Blackwood back in 1986, over the past 30+ years the MANIC STREET PREACHERS have become not only Welsh national treasures, but one of the biggest bands to ever come out of the UK. Despite the departure of guitarist Richie Edwards back in 1995 (I say departure, he LITERALLY disappeared off the face of the Earth) the now trio have continued to grow and cement their legacy around the world, however in recent years their style has mellowed to accommodate middle-aged life, and their musical output has been increasingly laid-back. 2018 see’s the valley’s veteran’s return for the first time since 2014’s “Futurology” with the brand new album “Resistance Is Futile”…recorded at their brand new Newport studio, let’s see what’s so hard to resist…

We open up with the track “People Give In” and it’s a quaint little track essentially highlighting the fact that we’re all human at the end of the day…there’s a chirpiness to the track; a light, airy feel, backed but the Vulcan String Quartet and some sweeping string sections, while vocalist James Dean Bradfield sings of the up’s and down’s we endure in life and the tone here gives you a sense of ‘It’s OK…just try again’ and it’s an encouraging, positive listen. One of this album’s traits however according to bassist/lyricist Nicky Wire was that it was to capture the essence of both “Generation Terrorists” and “Everything Must Go”, with the sound designed to reflect upon that era of the band, and follow up track “International Blue” does a decent job of this…with Bradfield’s distinct vocals and wailing guitar sequences, coupled with a simplistic melody it’s trademark MSP and an enjoyable listen.

This ideology is proven further by the likes of “Broken Algorithms” which harbors a subtle sense of early punk-rock which made the band famous in their formative years; the guitars having more attitude, with Sean Moore on drums then having more of an assertive presence…the overall tone being more youthful and in typical Manic’s manner they tackle society and its flaws, while “Sequels Of Forgotten Wars” utilizes more gritty guitar and the message of never-ending conflict; “There will be no parades for the likes of us” because the war is never over, the ‘blue screen’ a possible metaphor for the government and how they conduct themselves etc, they can manipulate what they want you to see and know, keeping the war machine going.

Elsewhere “Hold Me Like A Heaven” uses everything from acoustic melodies to lulling synths and gang vocal harmonies to create a truly relaxing sonic experience, wonderfully easy listening, while “Dylan & Caitlyn” mirrors this with an orchestral-led collaboration with THE ANCHORESS, (Welsh singer Catherine Davies) her vocals adding extra character to the albums overall presentation. The rest of the album pretty much captures exactly what Wire set out to do; it’s a modern take on a sound that made the band what they are today and it’s a nice little trip down memory lane for long-time fans. Lyrically astute and instrumentally crisp as always, song writing has always been a strength of these Welshmen and here they prove that yet again, in terms of story-telling through song, they’ve always been among the best. However, despite spawning an impressive five singles, none of them are entirely memorable as instant hits when compared to the level of quality in their back catalog. Still though…13 albums in and they’re still preaching, credit to them. [6]

Ah West Bromwich…while it may not have exactly been a year to remember for your beloved Albion, (It’s a football thing…they came bottom of the Premier League because they SUCK!) one thing you can always be proud of, is that you spawned one of the biggest and most influential metal bands of all time; JUDAS PRIEST. Having formed way back in 1969, the band went on to pioneer not only how bands approached playing heavy metal, but also the way metal as an entire image was perceived, introducing the now-iconic look of spiked / studded leather accessories, one that we now mostly view as a cliché. Despite their advancing years, and the likes of their fellow Brummie’s BLACK SABBATH calling it a day, Priest are still going hard and 2018 sees them release album 18; “Firepower”…but are they all guns blazing? Let’s find out…

We kick off with the title track and to be fair there isn’t a lot that can be said without going through the motions really, and that sums up the song itself. We’ve ticked all the boxes here regarding the traditional duel-guitar onslaught with pummelling drums, coupled with Rob Halford’s distinctive vocals, with a slick solo or two thrown in for good measure…it’s a decent track, a proper metal track and pretty much Priest by numbers really…or, well, ANY classic metal band by numbers for that matter. Follow up track “Lightning Strike” is predominantly more of the same really…there is a decent rhythm flowing through the track despite the gruff, often blunt delivery of Halford’s vocals in places but it’s still pretty run of the mill.

It’s not all a barrage of beige however…”Never The Heroes” utilises a strong, groove-heavy intro that builds up wonderfully into a solid, blue’s-based track that is brilliant in its simplicity, and the chorus is spot on; nothing extravagant but undeniably catchy…this is a clear album highlight. “No Surrender” is a short, sharp dose of classic metal but has ample, melodic guitar harmonies  and effective hooks during its brief run-time, resulting in another enjoyable listen, while closing track “Sea Of Red” initially swaps the aggression for subtle acoustics, as we end on a blissful power ballad. It gradually picks up the pace; even incorporating symphonic elements, but the change in overall style is a welcome swap indeed and a strong finale.

Elsewhere, well, I’m afraid over the 14 tracks on offer, the majority of it is just a little bit boring. “Evil Never Dies” is amusingly fitting as you feel that way about the song itself; it just methodically plods along  for what seems like forever, it has like, one hook pre-chorus and that’s about it. “Flame Thrower” despite its name really doesn’t ignite much interest…and the chorus sounds off vocally, it just doesn’t sound right. “Guardians” beautifully played piano intro sounds absolutely noble and heroic, but it’s just an interlude and ultimately disappoints, leading into “Rising From Ruins” which is consistent but generic at best and it’s a shame. For a band approaching their 50th anniversary it’s pretty impressive don’t get me wrong, they still play with passion and Rob Halford can still hold his own vocally, credit where it’s due, they’re far more entertaining that fellow dinosaurs THE ROLLING STONES…but just like fellow Brit metal veterans SAXON they’re running the risk of merely going through the motions now. As far as traditional metal goes, it’s fine, but like most branded clothing, you’re only paying for the name on the cover of this record. [6]

As you all know by now, every year I do a round up in some way shape or form, of the annual EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. Highly regarded in the UK as an absolutely cringe-worthy cheese-fest, it's no surprise we haven't won it for years, and that's without getting into the shows regular politics let alone the utter shambolic level of fuckery we've found ourselves in under the "leadership" of Theresa May and the current Conservative government...well actually no I'll blame Cameron too, the pig-poking prick! Regardless...we enter every year and hope to not come last essentially. The 2018 final will be held on Saturday 12th May and will take place in Lisbon, Portugal, after SALVADOR SOBRAL won the Ukraine 2017 competition...here I'll be taking a quick run down of all 26 qualified acts and giving my own personal individual score / opinion ahead of the live final...in order of live performance; let's begin...

1] UKRAINE: MELOVIN - "Under The Ladder". Aged just 21, opening the Eurovision Song Contest would seem like a daunting task for many, but Melovin (Real name Kostyantyn Mykolayovych Bocharov) is perfectly at home here, as winner of season 6 of Ukraine's version of The X-Factor. The track is an up-beat, rhythmic dance-pop piece which should in all honesty kick things off really well in terms of tempo and entertainment, but on record it isn't the most convincing vocal display in places and I just hope things don't fall flat for him on the night. 3/5

2] SPAIN: AMAIA Y ALFRED - "Tu Cancion". This is a track taken from Amaia Romero's album "Sus Canciones" and is a collaboration with one Alfred Garcia...sung in Spanish, it's one of the songs this year traditionally sung in the native language as used to be part of the rules before they relaxed things, and for all intents and purposes it's a soft piano ballad with elegant string sections...a lovely song in some aspects but luckily one of the boring ones is now out of the way early. 1/5

3] SLOVENIA: LEA SIRK - "Hvala, Ne!"...NE! NE! NE! We are the knight's who say...NE! *Ahem* All jokes aside, Slovenia's answer to MO / KESHA does a decent job of bringing a modern twist to proceedings. Utilizing a blend of hip-hop production and combining electronica with soulful pop, it's got a decent beat to it overall but it never truly takes off, with the chorus sadly coming across as anti-climatic compared to the level of expectancy of the track. 2/5

4] LITHUANIA: IEVA ZASIMAUSKAITE - "When We're Old". Ironically titled by the 24 year old, and despite her youth this isn't her first Euro rodeo! Having enrolled to compete in 2013, 2014, 2016 and 2017, she FINALLY get's her opportunity to represent her country in 2018. It's an honestly lovely song, focusing on Ieva's hushed, whispered vocals over a gentle piano lullaby...it's a slow one, and one that will rely on mood and emotions conveyed on the night, but it's a wonderfully tranquil track and should score well regardless. 2/5

5] AUSTRIA: CESAR SAMPSON - "Nobody But You". Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...having performed as part of backing vocals for two previous Austrian acts, Cesar finally get's his own shot. Arguably one of the first bandwagon jumpers this year, Cesar brings a fully emotive, gospel sound to Portugal with his blend of soulful pop music, hammered home by a strong melodic chorus...if you're a fan of RAG 'N' BONE MAN then expect to be giving Austria your vote this year... 3/5

6] ESTONIA: ELINA NECHAYEVA - "La Forza". The show isn't over until the fat lady sings...well as it happens Elina is far from fat and we're less than a quarter of our way through so buckle up! A classically trained Soprano, Elina brings a touch of class and vocal quality to proceedings this year, with her powerful vocal range and dramatic, operatic elements...if you're a fan of TARJA TURUNEN for example, you may want to send your vote Elina's way! 2/5

7] NORWAY: ALEXANDER RYBAK - "That's How You Write A Song". FEED. ME. MORE! Oh...sorry...wrong Ryback I was thinking about WWE for a second...but no in all seriousness, Alexander is technically a Eurovision veteran; he WON the competition back in 2009 with a track called "Fairytale"...can the young lad with the violin become a two-time winner this weekend? This funk-driven almost 70's inspired combination of tinny guitar and violin has plenty of energy, but will it be Norway or NO WAY!? You be the judge...2/5

8] PORTUGAL: CLAUDIA PASCOAL - "O Jardim". The hometown-hero as such, Claudia represents the hosts this year taking the torch from reigning champion SALVADOR SOBRAL and will be hoping Portugal can pull off an unexpected victory to retain the Eurovision Trophy for a 2nd consecutive year. Another acoustic/piano ballad, it's got quite a slow build and is honestly quite soppy, potentially risking too many similarities to last years winning song itself...they say lightning doesn't strike twice, I guess Saturday we'll find out. 1/5

9] UNITED KINGDOM: SuRie - "Storm". Oh boy...if you could find me a more fitting song for the UK for this competition I will do sexual things for you no questions asked...not only is the song already two years old and theoretically out-dated, lyrically and thematically it pretty much sums up the state of affairs regarding Britain and the EU and the whole Brexit debacle...metaphorically of course. Musically it is a decent pop track and has it's anthemic qualities but despite any positives I can't see us doing well at all this year...3/5

10] SERBIA: SANJA ILIC & BALKANIKA - "Nova Deca". There's always an entry with utilizes traditional middle-eastern tones and this track is that entry...and seriously what a long-ass intro, taking up nearly a third of the song! It's got a generally simple beat and does pick up, leading into an ultimately pleasant, up-tempo track with subtle dance tones, but it could have benefited  having more of this, less of the intro, as it's shot itself in the camel-toe essentially. 1/5

11] GERMANY: MICHAEL SCHULTE - "You Let Me Walk Alone". Another young talent with a background in reality TV; 28 year old Michael found mild success on Germany's version of The Voice in 2012, where he came third overall, before going on to release his debut album. This year we find him contributing yet another piano ballad to this years Eurovision playlist, and as you may have guessed it's another harmonious love-song with an impassioned climatic feel...again, nice but, it may get lost in the shuffle. 2/5

12] ALBANIA: EUGENT BUSHPEPA - "Mall"...I take one look at this guys name and I swear to god all I can think of is a bush-tucker trial...but my mental issues aside, here we have the first of our demographic-pleasing alternative entries. Eugent is a renowned rock performer in his home country and has actually supported the likes of DEEP PURPLE in mainland Europe, so he's got his credentials...but what is he offering here? A mellow, country-esque traditional folk-pop type piece with an acoustic lead and impressive vocals. It sounds good, I just wish I knew what he was saying. 2/5

13] FRANCE: MADAME MONSIEUR - "Mercy". France hardly needs the bad luck of performing 13th...their results have hardly been the most impressive in recent years, but they hope to change that in 2018. The ambient, synth-pop track follows on from recent success stories such as CHRISTINA & THE QUEENS and may go down well, and though there are no direct ties to the LGBT community, the whole MRS/MR approach could appeal to gender neutral's from an activist point of view...unless that's me looking far too deeply into what is essentially an annual song contest...2/5

14] CZECH REPUBLIC: MIKOLAS JOSEF - "Lie To Me". A potential favourite here depending on the right crowd...full of swagger and groove, Mikolas utilizes the southern blues inspired jazz tones of New Orleans to great effect here, rich in funk and passion, he confidently takes this track by the scruff and simply awaits the laudits of the Lisbon crowd. The recorded version does have some swearing in it, so that'll have to be edited during the final or he may find himself getting nil poi via disqualification... 3/5

15] DENMARK: RASMUSSEN - "Higher Ground". A man of many talents; Rasmussen (Real name Jonas) originally performed in a covers band, focusing on the likes of ELTON JOHN and ABBA, before he turned his attention to acting, focusing mainly on stage productions. 2018 see's him return to singing with this entry; a combination of power-pop and traditional, Nordic heritage in subtle tones. Despite the classic key-change sequence, it does lack a little oomph and falls just short of being an awesome entry. 3/5

16] AUSTRALIA: JESSICA MAUBOY - "We Got Love"...Hang on just a second let me just get Moe Sargi...'YO JESSICA MA BOI!" There we go...that's out of the way now...but no seriously Australia in Eurovision is still a thing. Yes it was novel having them there for the big anniversary show a couple of years ago but, despite not being anywhere remotely near Europe, here they are...the song itself is a generic, light, radio-pop song which wouldn't be out of place in some, teen Disney flick...it's fine but, I really don't see the point this year. 2/5

17] FINLAND: SAARA AALTO - "Monsters"...Finland you beautiful bastard of a country...as if you didn't already supply the world with some of the finest gothic metal and rock bands to ever grace the stage, you also have pop music nailed too by the looks! Saara Aalto ticks all the boxes having dueted with ADAM LAMBERT and ANDREA BOCELLI, not to mention having done voice acting for the Finnish dub of "Frozen", she's a proven voice. Here we have a sleek, electronic-pop monster in it's own right rich in hooks and mainstream appeal and it's an absolute top tune. All of the yes from me. 5/5

18] BULGARIA: EQUINOX - "Bones". Bulgaria's entry features yet another reality TV statistic in vocalist Zhana, who won Bulgaria's X-Factor in 2013...now, 5 years later we find them representing their country in Portugal with "Bones"...the haunting vocal tones and the predominantly dark-pop vibes of the song are pleasant enough, helped by its catchy chorus, but it sounds like a watered down version of "Skeletons" by 2017 Azerbaijan entry DIHAJ to me. 2/5

19] MOLDOVA: DoReDoS - "My Lucky Day". Three is the magic number as they say, and for this trio, it's third time lucky as they finally get to represent their country after failing to secure their place in both 2015 and 2016. Doritos as I shall call them from here on in, have a fun and up-beat approach this year combining modern pop with a GOGOL BORDELLO style of Oompa / alternative. 2/5

20] SWEDEN: BENJAMIN INGROSSO - "Dance You Off". One of the youngest performers at this years final in Lisbon, Benjamin started early and appeared in several Swedish musicals as a child and is hoping his performance experience can carry him through to another Swedish victory. With his soft vocals it can be said he's another JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE inspired pop-starlet but truth be told he's not of the same caliber previous Swedish winner MANS ZELMERLOW, he lacks that spark. A harmless pop song but I'm not expecting big things. 1/5

21] HUNGARY: AWS - "Vinszlat Nyar". Ever since LORDI won it for Finland back in 2006 there's almost always a rock song or two thrown into the mix to shake things up a bit and here we have that very token rock song. AWS deliver on all fronts with a strong melody and even stronger riffs for their hard rock performance, even including that cliched key-change and it has to be said it's a solid track...it wont win but it is a banger. 4/5

22] ISRAEL: NETTA - "Toy". While it's one thing to question Australia's inclusion in what is essentially a European competition, it can be said that you have to question Israel too...although politically and economically they are at least tied to the EU so there's that....anyway I digress this is a song contest not BBC Question Time. Netta Barzilai is an outsiders bet if ever there was one! A fun and up-tempo track for the most part, combining western pop influences with middle eastern traditions...it's a decent listen, that is until the random chicken noises...seriously I don't know if it's a gimmick or an affliction. 3/5

23] THE NETHERLANDS: WAYLON - "Outlaw In Em'". Real name Willem Bijkirk, he acquired his stage name after the late Waylon Jennings as means of a tribute and is no stranger to Eurovision. As part of THE COMMON LINNETS he finished runner-up back in 2014 and hopes to go one step further 4 years later. Mixing bluegrass with southern rock swagger, fans of BLACK STONE CHERRY and the like are sure to give him the nod of approval and send a vote his way. 4/5

24] IRELAND: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - "Together". Despite a lack of luck in recent years, Ireland are still the ones to beat as they've won Eurovision a record seven times since its inception, and they hope to add another victory in Portugal this year.Another TV talent show statistic, Ryan O'Whatshisface appeared in Britain's Got Talent back in 2012, reaching the final only to finish in 5th place...will he do better here? Another sweet, acoustic/piano ballad, it doesn't truly stand out as such but he's got enough Irish charm to win the voting public over...perhaps. 2/5

25] CYPRUS: ELENI FOUREIRA - "Fuego". Apparently Eleni here is the bookies favourite and I've been scratching my head to work out how and why...with her typically modern autotune-laden pop qualities I guess she'd make quick and easy money in the charts commercially, given the success of everyone from DEMI LOVATO to DUA LIPA and the like...it's decent enough pop song for what it's worth and catchy enough but, it's nothing special per se...we'll see. 3/5

26] ITALY: ERMAL META E FABRIZIO MORO - "Non Me Avete Fatto Niente"...It takes longer to say that than they'll stay in the top 10 this year if you ask me...it's emotive enough with its almost cinematic qualities in places but songs spoken in native tongue are hit and miss and never a guarantee...it might benefit from being on last in some eyes, but to many it'll be an afterthought as the audience suffers from fatigue and burnout, and it's hardly a climatic showstopper...I can't see this doing overly well. 2/5

So...there we have it...my run down of the 2018 Eurovision final! Have you heard any of the songs yet? Are you happy with your countries entry and more important;y, who will you be voting for? Leave your comments below, but for now...it's over to Graham Norton to entertain us with his commentary.

Recently, we in the UK have seemingly gone out of our way to make damn sure we’re a laughing stock in mainland Europe, with ‘The Wicked Witch Of The West-Minster’ Theresa May doing little to nothing to stop the likes of Brussels making us look like idiots on the world stage in the shadow of Brexit, and this weekend we shall see that trend continue, as we drown our sorrows in Bailey’s at the 2018 Eurovision song contest. I swear to god, given the mess we’re in we may as-actually-fucking-well submit Boris Johnson as our entry this year; we have THAT much confidence in this year’s competition! As you may know by now, every year I take a look back at the previous year’s winner to see what they’ve done with their fame and success, and today we avert our attention to Portugal’s own SALVADOR SOBRAL.

The 28 year old from Lisbon won the competition last year in Ukraine, marking Portugal’s 1st victory in like, forever…seriously…they’d never won it in 53 years, and he did so using a song his sister wrote called “Amar Pelos Dois”, setting a new points record (Having said that they keep meddling with the voting so expect this year’s winner to have like, a million points)…I went to check to see what he had released since his historic victory, only to find that he’d released…a live album. That’s it. Live versions of now two year old songs…so…with that said, let’s go back to 2016 shall we, where we actually have an album to go through…this is “Excuse Me”…and mate, I’ll judge if you’re to be excused or not…

We open up with that very title track and what is actually pleasant is the fact we find Salvador singing in English, swapping out his native tongue…musically it’s a quaint little piano ballad combined with soft jazz-lounge qualities, aided by the cushioned, slightly hushed, slightly husky vocals; in ways you could say he was Portugal’s answer to JAMIE CULLUM on the basis of this track; an innocent start this. Follow up “Nada Que Esperar” continues with the soothing jazz tones of the piano / double bass combination, and given it’s rough translation of ‘Nothing To Hope For’ you can feel the sadness in the performance, the acceptance of life’s situations per se and it’s very mellifluous in its own meager way.

The majority of the record flows at a steady and reliable pace, rarely diverting from its jazz-based roots, it’s a very easy-listening record really, the kind of album you’d find yourself putting on after a long day at work, sat and listened to with a glass of red with your feet up, and this is backed up by tracks like “Ready For Love Again”; with its delicately tickled piano and caressing, harmonious string sections, it’s a lulling album highlight. Speaking of lulling we have “I Might Just Stay Away” which at just over 6-minutes is the longest track here, and really emphasizes those lullaby-esque characteristics, sounding like the kind of gentle music that would come from a little girls jewelry box. The real highlights however come courtesy of “After You’ve Gone”, which is a short, up-beat quirky piece of jazz which was originally written in 1918 and has been performed by everyone from the aforementioned Cullem, to the late JUDY GARLAND, and “Autumn In New York”, which was made famous in 1949 by Ol’ Blue Eyes himself; FRANK SINATRA.

Overall I have to be honest, as far as Eurovision winners go, compared to some, I did find Salvador’s entry pretty damn dull last year and was surprised when he won (Although he got a sympathy vote through prior heart surgery and played sneaky political games with his refugees shirt) but going back to this previous album, I’ll admit he is capable of better things. Granted, this is a lot more relaxed than my usual tastes but it’s a decent modern jazz record with enough throwback appeal to keep fans satisfied. I will excuse you…JUST about. [4]

​Ah Kentucky, I may not be an American patriot but let me just say I damn well salute you, for you not only inebriate the world with your glorious bourbon whiskeys, but you also gave to us nomgasm’s by the literal bucket-load courtesy of your heavenly fried chicken…it’s finger lickin’ good y’all! Putting tonight’s dinner plans aside for a moment, Kentucky also has a rich musical heritage. Famously coined as the bluegrass state, it not only refers to its rich pastures, but also its blue-collar musical roots, notably blue’s based southern rock, gospel and jazz, and one of its biggest exports in recent times has been BLACK STONE CHERRY. Having formed in 2001, they’ve steadily grown into one of the most popular rock acts of a generation, regularly playing arena tours to thousands around the world thanks to tours supporting legends such as LYNYRD SKYNYRD and DEF LEPPARD, plus recently ALTER BRIDGE too…2018 sees them hope to continue their run with album number six; “Family Tree”…let’s do a little digging shall we?

The album kicks off with “Bad Habit” and we’re thrust straight into Cherry’s traditional groovy southern-rock style, there are some decent licks and a strong bass-line pushing the track, but honestly the chorus feels a little weak, and the key-change leading into the guitar solo ends up sounding just a little dull and half-arsed, resulting in a less than exciting start. First single “Burnin’” follows up and again it’s heavy on the groove and it balances being gritty while having ample melodic elements quite well, helped greatly by a much better display from vocalist Chris Robertson, this is considerably better it has to be said.

“Carry Me On Down The Road” is more or less more of the same, the instrumentation is pretty solid with some enjoyable guitar work throughout but it seems to just coast along leaving you a little uninspired…likewise with “Dancin’ In The Rain”. Featuring renowned session musician Warren Haynes, it’s pretty slick with its rich blues rock tones, especially during the chorus’ main hook and although it supplies the album’s first real highlight it still lacks a certain drive. Speaking of guest appearances, “You Got The Blues” features Chris’ 5-year-old son on backing vocals which I guess is fitting for the album’s title but, other than being quaint it’s another run of the mill offering. “I Need A Woman” continues to plod along with as much urgency as a brand new barrel of bourbon, honestly it’s in no rush, never mind a woman, pro-plus and a line of coke’ he needs, show a bit of energy! The album then closes on the title track and we’re given another strong chorus to end on a slightly more positive, encouraging note, but we’re not here to paper over any cracks sadly. The band went into the studio this time round with minimal rehearsal to capture a raw, honest vibe and in doing so this collection of songs on record at least is lacking a certain sheen. If “Family Tree” had been album number one you could say for sure that seeds have been planted and it’s just a matter of time before these blues rockers blossom, but six albums in, this hasn’t worked all too well. Bar one or two moments it’s a disappointingly boring listen. [4]

As you know I’ve been taking a look at a selection of bands, forwarded to me by the team over at Stencil and it’s resulted in a fair amount of globe-trotting; a cornucopia of cultural cluster-fucks ranging from maritime grunge to prehistoric pop-punk…last time we found ourselves in Australia covering up-and-coming metalcore mob PATIENT SIXTY-SEVEN but now we’re swapping the surfing and sunshine, for snow and uh, Siberian temperatures? Yes we’re off to Finland today, a country famous for its impressive level of Gothic metal bands, but that’s where these guys stick out like a sore thumb; let me introduce you to JOENSUU RIIHIMÄKI. Having formed in Turku, the Americana-inspired outfit comprising of vocalist Sami Joensuu and guitarist Kari Riihimäki (Hence the name, they’ve done a Brangelina) and completed by drummer Moilu Moilanen, released their debut album “Greetings From The Edge Of The World” back in 2015 but now they’re back with a brand new album by the name of “Highwater”. The question is…voivatko suomalaiset todella maata ja länsimaita?

The album opens up with “Hillbilly Falls” and initially you can’t help but think that they’re going all “Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil” on us but while it may well in fact suit the film stylistically, there’s no level of parody here. It’s very stripped back and classical in its approach to old-school retro rock and roll; simple guitar tones, piano accompaniment…in ways it finds itself blending the likes of STATUS QUO with southern blues rock. There’s a certain gruff delivery to Sami’s vocals but in places he can’t help but come across as a tad flat and it’s his vocal tone that holds an otherwise decent track down. “21” follows up immediately and we’re met with a far mellower piece of music; it’s very light with a loose, flowing delivery and really it’s quite quaint, perfect for relaxing in the sunshine on your porch, sat in the swing-chair with a bottle of Miller High Life…you forget they’re Finnish!

Elsewhere “The Ballad Of James John Belcaire” hypnotizes the listener with the sweetest of acoustic campfire ballads…Sami’s husky delivery really works here benefiting the track, which itself has a wonderfully charming, semi-medieval aesthetic, if you can imagine the days of old; of minstrels…backed by some sweet flute work, it lulls you into a sense of total relaxation and it’s a definite album highlight. “I’ve Not Heard?” reverts to the classic blues rock tones heard previously but here incorporating a subtle, 70’s psychedelic influence and you can hear THE DOORS being channeled through your speakers. Some of the tracks fail to inspire mind you; “Keep On Marching” is an incredibly slow, lifeless track…honestly it’s just boring…It’s called the blues but this is just a variety of grey's, sans kinks…“Missing Zoe. B” throws in sound bites from TV news reports and it really doesn’t suit the genre, before closing track “The Garden Road” virtually kills the album with an incredibly annoying piano loop…it’s nearly as bad as the score from “Werewolf Rising” (I’m not even going to go into that) though the passionate guitar driven climax at least tries in vain to salvage the track. Ultimately what we have here is an interesting musical culture clash, at times the Finns deliver an enjoyable, easy-listening album, but it lacks in consistency in terms of quality to warrant many repeat listens. Highwater by name but, it’s just a bit stagnant really. [5]

I mentioned in my last post that I’d been contacted by a Stencil Magazine representative by the name of Andrew, and that he’d forwarded me a list of bands to check out. What struck me as interesting when I went through the list was that, despite being a UK based PR, the bands not only represented a wide variety of genres but a pretty varied range of nationalities too! Last time we found ourselves over in the US for a band called RUSTY SHIPP, this time we’re still across the pond but moving further north into Canada; allow me to introduce you SOUND DROWN. They too formed in 2014 after founding member Brandon Wiseman (Bass/lead vocals) went through a sort of, recruitment process for the songs he’d written, eventually settling on Drew Neathway (Drums), Nick Ryan (Lead guitar/vocals) and Justin Goss (Guitar/vocals). Initially a covers band while they found their feet, they soon began work on Wiseman’s material and back last year they released their debut EP; “Dino Droppings”…in memory of the late, great Ryan Dunn…let’s go poo diving…

We get the EP underway with “Living Song” and for all intents and purposes it’s a motivational speech; stand up and follow your dreams, live a little, don’t waste opportunities etc. The opening guitar tone is very much up-beat and firmly embedded within a pop-rock pigeonhole, with its melodic structure, but there also subtle breakdowns backing the track giving it an ever so slightly heavier edge, though its climax has a feeling of, they didn’t actually know how to round it up…it just plays on awkwardly, bringing it down ever so slightly. “(Bittersweet) Fault Line” follows up and again we’re met with that standard alternative pop-punk vibe, think NEW FOUND GLORY etc., it’s very much by numbers here in terms of tone and structure, not to say that it’s unpleasant by any means but, it is what it is. An interesting geographical take on relationships, likening the fragility and temperamental aspects of love to earthquakes…it’s…different.

The title track, the shortest piece here is an intense flurry of punk rock that’s best described as finding itself somewhere between BAD RELIGION and NOFX…it’s short and sharp and the solo is pretty damn infectious too by all accounts despite its blink and you’ll miss it feel; it’s fun and frankly you wish there were more of it! Speaking of fun…”M.E.G.I.A.L” is up next and initially you just know it stands for something but dread to think what…so when it turns out to mean “My ex-girlfriend is a lesbian” your inner-child can’t help but chuckle. The track itself is an acoustic gem and easily the EP’s highlight, you want to feel sorry for him but, really you have to point and laugh when he says “She took off with a she-Hulk”, it’s very self-depreciating, especially the line about the strap-on...absolutely brilliant. There’s no sympathy here really, no matter how unconventionally pretty the she-Hulk may or not be. The remaining tracks “Runaway” and “That One Song” are fine; the former returning to their pacey pop-punk formula, the latter having more of a progressive shoe-gaze tone to close the EP in dramatic fashion, but let’s be honest we’re still recovering from the she-Hulk…they peaked early I’m sorry. Pop-punk fans should embrace these as ones to watch as they have plenty of potential, but even in these formative years they’re clearly able to expand into other genres without creating a mess. They’d be more than welcome at SlamDunk, and someone should make that happen. [7]

Way back in 1985, Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin exploded into the charts creating a burst of pro-feminism with their anthemic duet; “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves”…encouraging women from all walks of life to stand up and be counted, reinforcing their already huge influence as artists. Franklin, the Queen of Soul, one of the most successful R&B artists of all time, and Lennox, one of the most influential pop artists to come out of the 80’s with her group EURYTHMICS…it sent a strong message and opened up the door for so many women in music to feel confident and we’ve never looked back…today we’ll literally be looking at a set of real life sisters who are doing it or themselves by the name of Klara and Johanna Söderberg, but collectively they are known as FIRST AID KIT. Formed in Enskede on the outskirts of Stockholm, Sweden, the duo have a couple of releases under their belts already but 2018 sees them return with their brand new album “Ruins”…let’s check it out…

The album opens up with “Rebel Heart” and sadly, they aren’t paying homage to NXT superstar Johnny Gargano (-_•)…for that would be too awesome to be true…but instead we get a rather lengthy introductory track. At over five minutes it’s a little bold, especially given its slow tempo and overly-gradual build; the lulling tone of their country inspired vocals is mellow and harmonious but it does take a while for the track to get going to any real effect. Its climatic semi-flurry is welcome and it rounds track off nicely but it just feels like a stuttering start. “It’s A Shame” then follows up with a far more jovial little number…it’s got a real old school feel with the traditional organ effect coming through the synths giving it that retro 60’s vibe and it’s a charming little track with a deep rooted sadness born of love-loss and unmet expectations, which can also be said for “Postcard”. Channelling icons such as DOLLY PARTON through the classic country and western tone of the tack…it’s the type of track you can imagine being performed at an old road house.

The trouble is that while a lot of this album is, again, charming, the same percentage of the album is frustratingly dull…with their Swedish folk influences there is room for a wonderful collection of ideas and tunes and there are hints of it; “My Wild Sweet Love” is ever so adorable while “Fireworks” delves into a 50’s type, blue’s soaked pop ballad which is full of character, it’s like something you’d find on a “Dreamboats And Petticoats” compilation…but too much of the album fails to ignite a spark of interest…if it was an ice cream flavour it would be Swedish Glace sugar free, dairy free vanilla with a gluten free cone…my point really is that, while it’s perfectly suited for some people, I myself like my ice cream like I like my music…richer and fuller. There’s nothing wrong with them as vocal performers and credit to them they’ve come a long way since their days busking in the Stockholm Metro, but sadly this one doesn’t really inspire a repeat listen. First Aid Kit? Excessive…just give me some Pro Plus I’ll be just fine. [4]

I’ve often touched upon the 90’s as being the era of grunge but we have to remember that it was a decade that saw a lot of evolution and development in alternative music, and none more so than metal. New ideas brought new sounds and new sounds came courtesy of new bands…and one of the most enduring bands to breakthrough, were MACHINE HEAD. In 1994 they dropped their debut album “Burn My Eyes” (Which became Roadrunner Records best-selling debut at the time) and metal was never same again…over the years they’ve established themselves as one of the biggest bands in modern metal itself (Arguably peaking at 2007’s “The Blackening”), and continue to pummel the masses to this day…and by this day, I mean January 26th, 2018. The band release their ninth studio album “Catharsis” and they’ve pulled absolutely no punches…let’s check it out.

The album kicks off with “Volatile” and it’s exactly that…with an opening cry of “Fuck the world!” Robb Flynn is clearly full of piss and vinegar here, and the music matches his lyrical frustration pound for pound. Inspired by the state of the world we live in, it’s decidedly chaotic and aggressive and really hits home the sense of dissonance plaguing humanity right now. Musically up-tempo and riff-heavy with layers of thrash, in ways there are parts that can be likened to early SLIPKNOT in ways…this is a solid start. The title track follows up and so soon we find ourselves with a drastic change of pace, but it’s surprisingly welcome…it’s incredibly smooth and polished with rich melodies and a real sense of drama in tone, but while it does retain the trademark snarls of Flynn, the tender piano led sections are genuinely moving; a fitting title for a track that clearly deals with a lot of pent up emotions and issues with the world…and an interesting change of direction.

The highlight’s don’t end there either…”California Bleeding” has slight nu-metal qualities, especially within the hook-laden chorus and, more recognizably the lyrical style…it reeks of nostalgic, early 2000’s angst but it’s not hamming it up per se…before “Kaleidoscope” barges in with its frenetic, fast-paced thrash metal onslaught, though the chorus still uses a decent hook, but possibly the biggest surprise here comes courtesy of “Behind The Mask”…for Machine Head have delivered…a ballad. What apocalyptic fuckery is this I hear you typing angrily…but bear with me; you need to listen to this. The simplistic acoustic number is rich in delicate melody and Flynn’s vocal performance is actually quite impressive, opting for purely clean harmonic vocals instead of his usual growls. The change in tone here will offend many purists but this is a very well written, stripped back song that despite lacking in their typical weight, manages to add plenty of depth to the album structurally. “Eulogy” too is another wonderfully subdued piece of music for the most part, with two thirds of the track opting for a dreary, despairing closing number, which again is a welcome change.

The album isn’t without it’s downfalls mind you…firstly I must mention the length, it’s 15 tracks at 75mins which is a hefty listen…they could have cut the track-listing down a little for a more easily digestible listen…”Triple Beam” again champions the nu-metal revival with its semi-rap inspired lyrics…lacking the quality of the aforementioned, realistically with about as much appeal as, say, POD in places, or even INSANE CLOWN POSSE…make of that what you will…and then we come to “Bastards”…the message may be strong and it’s clearly emotional but…the best way I can summarize this is if…fuck…um…I don’t even know? Say JOHNNY CASH had a bastard failed abortion with the DROPKICK MURPHYS? I’ll leave you make your mind up on this one, it’s giving me a Machine Head-ache…overall a solid album but it has its controversies and question marks. Flynn has stated no fucks were given making this, it’s unapologetic in its creation and delivery, and that’s exactly the feeling you get as a listener, so he’s succeeded…so its debatable in a sense that, it’s very possibly their best album since The Blackening…[8]

Last time we left HIM…they left us on the cliff hanger with a foreboding sense of impending happiness…what did they mean? What did Valo have up his sleeve? What creative direction would they take next? The answer would surprise many…the previous release; “Screamworks: Love In Theory And Practice, Chapters 1-13” wasn’t received very well by a large portion of fans, with Valo himself even suggesting the album was a failure…so were the band done with the commercial radio-friendly approach? Would Valo brush his 80’s new wave pop influences under the carpet and pick up the guitar again? The short answer is, not quite…the band instead opted to do a LINKIN PARK and release a remix album entitled “SWRMXS” and if fans were confused before, this had them scratching their heads…

We do we even begin? One thing that can be said about HIM is, they’ve always tried to stay fresh…each and every album they’ve released has, while retaining the core HIM sound and principles, always mixed it up a little…be it in tone, or genre influence, ranging from doom metal to hard rock, to Gothic piano ballads…but if anything the last album proved that heading down a commercially friendly mainstream route upset fans to some extent…so was this in essence a middle finger? A fuck you? Many viewed this as a die-hard fans only release, one for the collectors and a record that had no real place in the bands discography…but how good or even bad WAS it? The eleven track mix tape opens up just like its predecessor with “In Venere Veritas” but it’s been reworked by Finnish electronic composer HUORATRON (Real name Aku Raski) and what we find is a dirty slab of EDM, dotted with broken vocal samples and distorted dub qualities…its…different. “The Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness” can in ways be blamed for the project as a whole given the musical approach and here its mix by American house DJ MORGAN PAGE is very much the lo-fi, chilled listen it was always meant to be, rich in ambience. Some of this material DOES work…”Love, The Hardest Way” has the pleasure of having TIËSTO at the helm and is probably the sole source of credibility here for any casual listener…his approach is simple and trance-inspired with some genuinely catchy qualities, while “Dying Song” is given similar treatment…again, lo-fi but up-beat and at least enjoyable…when they get it wrong however, my god do they get it wrong. “Heartkiller” gets absolutely butchered courtesy of a MERCYFVCKS remix…I honestly wish it had mercy and fucked off…while the oOoOO remix of “Shatter Me With Hope” could put a glass eye to sleep…brave? Very. Stupid? Debatable…one thing’s for sure; it left a sour taste in many a fans mouth and is arguably the worst thing the band ever put their name to. [3]
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There would be another quiet spell following on from the Screamworks touring cycle and in ways, a period of recovery and reassessment too, on both sides to a degree…but fans got excited again in 2012 when HIM returned out of the blue with a new single; “Strange World”…another cover, this time by KÉ and another cover the band could ultimately call their own, credit to HIM, they know how to pick a cover…but excitement soon dwindled as the new song would be just that; one new song, merely to accompany another greatest hits collection…”XX: Two Decades Of Love Metal”. No more than an upgraded version of “And Love Said No”, it simply included the singles from the albums post 2004 and many fans felt disappointed. Sure the track was good, it was even more satisfying seeing the band pick up the guitars again and belting out some hard rock…but why just the one song? It turns out there was an issue with previous record labels who still owned rights to the bands back catalogue and wanted to put out a compilation…HIM literally recorded the song to shut the label up and the album was swiftly forgotten about; a brilliant cover and a solid collection of classic songs but…ultimately pointless. [7]

It wouldn’t be long however for HIM to release another full length album, spurred on by the recording process the year prior, the band had signed a new deal with RAZOR & TIE releasing “Tears On Tape” in 2013. The album wasn’t without its difficulties mind you…in fact the album very nearly didn’t happen, with the band worryingly close to calling it a day before it was even completed…an omen for things to come sadly. During the writing process, drummer Gas was suffering from nerve damage in his hands from repetitive stress and was ordered to take time out…would the album be completed? More importantly would Gas drum again and, with that, could HIM continue? Lucky after several months he returned and the album was finished…once again produced by long-time collaborator Hiili Hiilesmaa, it saw the band again return to their roots, delivering a raw, garage rock vibe full of grit and maturity. The back-to-basics approach led to Valo's vocals having a vulnerability to them, his morose poetic lyricism was showing an honest pain…tracks like “I Will Be The End Of You” and “Hearts At War”, blistering in their delivery, highlighted a suffering for love in their guitar driven frustration, while cuts like the title track and “Drawn & Quartered” tugged at the heartstrings with a strong sense of empathy…never afraid to experiment however, the album includes the band’s first and only instrumental pieces, breaking up the album allowing for a fresh listening style, before the album closes on the emotionally powerful “W.L.S.T.D.”…one of the bands heaviest, gloomiest and despairing pieces of music, coupled with one of Valo’s most impassioned vocal displays, it’s truly heart wrenching…and sadly…it was to be a fitting and poignant swan-song. [7]

After the record was released and the touring cycle was completed, Gas decided his time was up and left the band, leaving question marks hanging over fans worldwide. This…was to be the Finn’s final album…HIM were done. Stand-in percussionist Jukka took up the drum-kit to play for the band on live dates in the few brief years that followed, but in the March of 2017, HIM announced to the world that, they would be breaking up. The writing of new material simply wasn’t working, the spark had gone, the Heartagram was no longer beating, and the hearts of legions of fans were broken…tears were no longer on tape, they were on the cheeks of hundreds of thousands of fans worldwide as his infernal majesty relinquished his crown, kissing goodbye to us all. The band embarked on one last hurrah, a farewell tour dubbed “Bang And Whimper” (Still with a sense of humour on their way out) which led to the bands final ever performance at Helldone in Tavastia, Finland, on the 31st December 2017. After a 20+ year career…8 albums and having garnered one of the most cult-like followings in music…HIM were no more, and the world lost something truly magical. From here on out, I’d like to wish Ville, Mige, Linde, Burton and Jukka all the best in everything they set their hearts on, as we’ll always be there for them. You gave countless people hope, something to live for, something to cherish, and you'll be missed greatly, not just as a band, but by an extended family. Thank you, and farewell. Tears on tape…we will follow. <3

Picking up from where we left things last time, HIM were taking over the world; BAM MARGERA had helped them break out of mainland Europe into the UK and America, by introducing them to the MTV generation…their sales and fan base were on the rise, they were playing bigger stages at festivals, they were all over the charts internationally, Valo even won Metal Hammer’s prestigious Golden God award, and pandemonium couldn’t be sweeter…his infernal majesty had finally taken his rightful place upon the throne…but there’s an old saying; what goes up must come down and sadly, this began to happen sooner rather than later for HIM and it all came around the time of their next album…

In the September of 2007, two years after they hit their commercial peak, the band did a dramatic U-turn, ditched the radio-friendly pop-rock of “Dark Light” and opened up the gates of hell with their follow up “Venus Doom”…praised by critics for its experimentation and total change of direction, the band had embraced a new found sense of heaviness, channelling the likes of PARADISE LOST, with Ville reacquainting us all with his love of all things doom metal (As if the title wasn’t a clue already)…musically it was far heavier than anything they had ever done before, even their earliest work…the riffs, bass and percussion were all full of aggression and suffering…the deep tones of the album allowed Valo to truly hypnotise the listener with his impressive baritone vocal range, on times sounding truly demonic and chilling like on the title track, the lead single “Kiss Of Dawn”, also on the hauntingly beautiful prog-metal journey of “Sleepwalking Past Hope”…but no matter how harsh the band gets musically there’s always a delicately balanced track listing and this album was no different. From the brief, acoustic campfire ballad “Song Or Suicide” to the tortured lamenting of “Cyanide Sun”…this was Adams Family level Gothic romance and it was stunning…their rise in popularity even found the song “Passions Killing Floor” used for the original “Transformers” soundtrack! Despite the change in direction, they were still big, still in the charts, even getting Grammy Award nominations…but the fame came at a price…Valo had developed worsening alcohol problems which over time became more and more of an issue…plagued by exhaustion from the pressures of success, plus problems in his personal life, the writing and recording process took its toll on Valo and he damn near drank himself to death…until he was admitted to rehab. With the blurry oil painting depicting Venus, the goddess of love, now forever a reminder that in nearly dooming himself to drown in a bottle, Valo unwittingly perfectly encapsulated HIM's marriage of love and death, even if he was looking at her through beer goggles...I’m sure he appreciates the irony looking back [8]

Their success in America and mainstream popularity up to that point led the band to release their first and only (The bonus 6-track DVD footage with “And Love Said No” doesn’t count) live album; “Digital Versatile Doom”…released not long after “Venus Doom”, it was recorded as part of their rescheduled American tour at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles. The tour and resulting live album was heavy on Venus Doom content but also featured several of the bands biggest singles to date, acting as an updated (Albeit live) version of their greatest hits…for those who were never fortunate enough to see the band live in person for whatever reason, this is essential, especially as it came with a DVD of the performance recorded as part of a 2-disk package…here you can get a real feel for the band; how tight they are as performers and how emotional the songs truly are on the raw environment of the live stage…not to mention Valo’s cheeky sense of humour mocking Linde for the amount of solo’s he has to play…[8]

The trouble HIM faced for their follow up album was quite simply a matter of, where the hell do they go from here? They’ve just dropped the heaviest album of their career and Valo nearly did a George Best and put his liver through unthinkable punishment which nearly killed him…the answer? Another U-turn…yes this is where the band lost a lot of fans, as they began to yo-yo in style and lost a sense of credibility among the rock and metal community. In 2010 they released “Screamworks: Love In Theory In Practice, Chapters 1-13” (It just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it) and Valo, again in his self-depreciating mentality dubbed it their DEPECHE MODE album…gone was the bleak bombardment of gloomy, doom metal…gone were the tortured wails of Linde’s guitar…in their place were gentle melodies and enough pop hooks to give Simon Cowell the horn…written and arranged with far, far more emphasis on Burton’s keyboard playing and a much softer song writing approach, HIM found themselves facing a lot of uncertainty…critics were again, generally in favour, praising experimentation once more and championing Valo’s song writing, but a lot of fans weren’t impressed. Many were confused at the direction and while though it retained plenty of HIM’s trademark melancholy, it lacked the bands usual depth and came across as all too synthetic. Even Valo had convinced himself that it was a failure upon release, but in honesty, it’s merely by their own already high standards…lead single “Heartkiller” was undeniably infectious and the majority of the tracks on the album followed suit; “Scared To Death” is quite possibly the sweetest thing the band have written since “Join Me”…while “Acoustic Funeral (For Love In Limbo)” does have a slight emo influence, which people were already moving away from. There were naturally tracks with a bit of attitude however, with the likes of “Shatter Me With Hope” and “Like St. Valentine” having the most bite, but they were a far cry from what had preceded them…before the album closed on the synth-heavy “The Foreboding Sense Of Impending Happiness”…possibly the lease HIM song HIM have ever written, but far from terrible. Ultimately this was a solid collection of commercially heavy pop-inspired alt. rock that sadly got lost in the shuffle…wrong place, wrong time with the wrong sound…from here on out things would slowly go downhill. [7]

Tis’ the season to be jolly, fa-la la-la-la, la-la-like-fuck it is….let’s talk about Christmas. Every year we spend offensive amounts of money on food, drink and presents because one day, a little boy was supposedly born very unhygienically in a stable, in a pile of hay, surrounded by animals and a frightening amount of NHS health and safety violations…to a woman named Mary who claimed to be a virgin…(Joseph mate she’s having you on by here and I’d call Jeremy Kyle for a DNA test ASAP…) Yes she claimed immaculate conception and that the father was God, and the baby, who we now know as Jesus Christ, the Messiah (Not Brian, no, he was a very naughty boy) became one of the most important figures in organised religion with a following of over 2 Billion people worldwide and also, the acclaimed host of the call-in show “Jesus And Pals” on SOUTH PARK. All of this…because his mother Mary had an affair resulting in her concocting an ENTIRE RELIGION to hide it from Joseph, who was either naïve or high on animal glue from his woodwork and went along with it. And now that that’s off my chest…let’s talk about a band that links perfectly with my ranting; THE VIRGINMARYS.

Formed in Macclesfield in 2009 and now only consisting of vocalist/guitarist Ally Dickaty plus drummer Danny Dolan, the VM’s have become one of the UK’s most acclaimed up and coming indie-rock artists with several well received EP’s and albums, not to mention Classic Rock awards nominations…and this year they hope to continue in the same vein of quality with their latest EP entitled ”Sitting Ducks”…let’s check it out. The EP opens up with the title track and we’re off to a simple start…with only basic percussion and a predominantly bass-driven intro it takes a while to warm up, but we don’t have to wait long before we’re met with more melody and substance, until the chorus bursts into life with a flurry of passion. The tempo throughout is generally steady and it carries with it a certain swagger aided by that big, bold chorus…the additional guitar solo sequence breaks the track up nicely and there’s nothing to not enjoy about this track once it’s gotten going; a strong start.

We follow up with the lead single taken off the EP “Sweet Loretta (You Know Me Better)” and it’s got a great build up…no nonsense, hard rocking indie that steadily intensifies, utilising a solid groove throughout, for the most part a real foot-tapper of a track but the chorus…the chorus sadly lets you down feeling just a little anti-climactic…it lacks the edge the rest of the track hooks you with and suffers ever so slightly from repetition…it’s a bit hit and miss this. “Through The Sky” then has shades of KINGS OF LEON dotted throughout in some aspects, fully embracing an indie rock tone…its smoother, it’s mellow but the guitar solo here is slick and smile-inducing, eventually ending the track on a mildly chaotic flurry…this is far from anti-climactic and is much, much better. Finally then we close up on “Sleep” and it’s ironic as we’ve got the dreariest track on offer last…though the acoustic harmonies are both quaint charming, and it’s clear the emotions here are raw, the sadness is unavoidable and there are moments where Ally’s vocals simply grate on your ears when he releases his pain…yet beautiful is the suffering. Overall however the four tracks here get you through a very pleasant quarter of an hour and the EP as a whole is an enjoyable listen. [7]

I want to take a minute to talk about “emo”…but before you get all excited like a wide-eyed eleventeen year old browsing Blue Banana for the first ever time, I mean proper emo…no not the pompous black parade peddling MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE or even worse, BLOOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR (Seriously how are they even a thing?)…I’m talking about proper, original emo. All emo really is…is emotional rock music, that’s where the tag comes from, but it descended into a fashion statement and became more of a trend among youngsters. Bands like HELL IS FOR HEROES wonderfully blended post-hardcore with melodic indie elements to great effect in the early days but were overlooked for the poppier commercial value of the likes of FALL OUT BOY and PANIC! AT THE DISCO as the genre snowballed, and one such band who were resigned to their cult fan base, was REUBEN. The Surrey based three-piece hit their peak with 2004’s “Racecar Is Racecar Backwards” but went on indefinite hiatus following 2007’s “In Nothing We Trust”…this year, they’ve re-released the latter on white vinyl celebrating its 10th anniversary…let’s revisit it…

The album opens up with “Cities On Fire” and after a mellow, softly plucked guitar intro, we hit some feedback and the song suddenly bursts into life with a bitterness; a sharpness with Jamie Lenman’s intense, heavy vocals…he’s giving this his all, switching between soothing and savage you get a real sense of what emo should be…the mellifluous segments find themselves somewhere between SNOW PATROL and LONELY THE BRAVE while the more aggressive elements really add weight and character, balancing it out well, this is a nice opener. “We’re All Going Home In An Ambulance” has some wonderfully distorted guitar tones aiding a frenetic, disjointed musical onslaught…it’s noisy, it’s messy, it’s off-kilter…someone would probably label this mathcore today but whatever you want to call it, it’s wonderful.

Second single “Deadly Lethal Ninja Assassin” has a slower, lethargic tempo but its simplicity is infectious. Its melody is subtle and it’s a far tamer track overall with a solid climatic flurry, add to that an appearance by one Mr FRANK TURNER and we’ve got an enjoyable listen. Lengthy track names became a staple of emo albums, and “Crushed Under The Weight Of Enormous Bullshit” was no exception…for the most part utilising almost “Psycho” inspired notes, it’s an intense, unsettling listen, while “Good Luck” on the other hand is a far more peaceful acoustic led track, featuring guest vocalist Hannah Clark, it’s a lovely little relaxing campfire ballad, providing another highlight. Speaking of which, “Agony/Agatha” is another enjoyably simplistic offering; piano driven, equally quirky and catchy, before we eventually finish up on “A Short History Of Nearly Everything”. Primarily sombre in tone, it’s a fitting closure to not only the album, but their career at the time. Emo may have gone stratospheric in the years that followed and many would argue its core values were more than tainted, but bands like Reuben were properly underappreciated as soon as there was a commercial bandwagon to jump on. Ten years on, this is still a solid listen, while emo itself, was crushed under the weight of its own enormous amount of bullshit. [7]

Outside of the squared circle, wrestlers are very rarely (if ever at all) taken seriously…obviously I mean by people who, don’t particularly care about wrestling in the first place that is…sure there are anomalies, Rock “The Dwayne” Johnson has become a global movie star all credit to him…John Cena is trying too but nobody can see him doing it and Hulk Hogan? The Hulkster is a living legend there’s no two ways about it brother! Say your prayers eat your vitamins and believe in yourself and you too, could land yourself winning millions of dollars in a court case over a sex tape…but I digress…what about music? Chris Jericho has been gradually winning people over with his rock band FOZZY…John Cena, again, remember that rap album? Enough said…and then there’s JEFF HARDY. Hardy is one of the most loved and decorated tag team wrestlers the industry has ever seen alongside his brother Matt, he’s won numerous singles titles too in both WWE and TNA (Or whatever the hell it’s called these days)…but…did you also know that he front’s a band too? Let me introduce you to PEROXWHY?GEN…no that’s not a typo, that’s actually the band’s name (Pronounced Peroxygen) Hardy and co have released several EP’s and albums over the past couple of years and this year they dropped “Precession Of The Equinoxes”…let’s see how far we can get before we tap out…

We open up with “Sphere On Earth” and it’s an interesting one to say the least…it’s a weird, spoken word track, almost a monologue in ways…he speaks of his mother with a poetic adoration and it’s all an ode to her in her passing, this family role model, loved and respected and while quaint, it goes full-on track length at 3:00…it’s really quite artsy instead of being a brief intro and while creative it doesn’t really benefit as being an opening track…an odd inclusion this. The first proper track, “Revived” gets the album going more adequately with a mixture of rock, indie and emo qualities, tapping into that general genre-bracket…imagine bands like AMERICAN HI-FI and that ilk…clean vocals, melodic but raw…it’s got substance this…there are moments where the vocals can come across a touch flat but there’s enough here to carry it forward, this is more enjoyable start. We change gears again though as immediately we follow up with “Occasion” and while we stick with certain, soft-emo tones we’re given a far more delicate track. Heavy on piano and strings, leading into acoustics it’s got an almost semi-country feel and in ways develops into something fans of SMASHING PUMPKINS could appreciate.

At 2:44, “Otherwise” is the shortest track on offer here and while it’s a little disjointed in places, we’re treated to some decent throwback, early 2000’s alternative rock, this could have easily of come out of the nu-metal era listening to this chorus, balancing on a fine line between nostalgic and dated…”Unforgiveable” then retouches certain ballad aspects but here it’s clear Hardy doesn’t have the vocal capability to properly do this justice, he lacks a softness; a sweetness at times which would have taken this track to the next level, before we finish up on another diverse trio of tracks. “Emotionless” has more of that throwback nu-metal influence with its crossover rap metal vibe, “September Day” utilises slow, gritty electronica; coming across as spacey before we close on “Catastrophic” and it’s a weird mixture of trippy spoken word and poor rap…leaving the listener with more of a sense of “Why?” as opposed to “Wow!”. Overall…while I can sit here and applaud Hardy for all the entertainment he’s provided me over the years in ladder matches, musically he doesn’t quite grab my attention so easily, there are genuine moments here that offer a great deal of promise as some of the rockier tracks have potential, and credit to him he's not afraid to experiment, but he needs to iron out a couple of things. One things for sure, it’s not as bad as THAT match with Sting at Victory Road 2011….[4]

Back in 2003 the world of rock music underwent a little renaissance and for the first time in a long time, Goth was cool again…yes black was back and several artists made huge impacts on the world stage. Without a shadow of a doubt, EVANESCENCE stole the show with their chart topping, haunting super-hit “Bring Me To Life”, alternative rock having rarely seen such commercial success…veterans TYPE-O-NEGATIVE dropped the outstanding “Life Is Killing Me” in all of its dark humoured glory…Finnish icons HIM made their UK / US breakthrough with “Love Metal” (Helped ever so slightly by the relentless plugging of Bam Margera) and rock music as a whole found a new heart-throb in Ville Valo…and a little band called THE RASMUS released one of the year’s biggest hits, “In The Shadows”….many thought that the Finns had come out of nowhere, capitalising on this wave of alt. rock popularity but in actual fact they started life back in 1994 while still in high school, and while charting higher than their Scandinavian peers here, the longevity wouldn’t last and as quickly as they became new Goth’s on the block, they ironically slid back into the shadows, eventually going into lengthy hiatus in 2012. Fast-forward five years however, and 2017 see’s The Rasmus return with their ninth studio album; “Dark Matters” but…the question is, do The Rasmus? Let’s find out…

The album opens up with lead single “Paradise” and it finds itself somewhere between ambient acoustics and generic indie-rock…front-man Lauri’s vocals are still honey coated as ever and he sings with an air of innocence as he juxtaposes the idea of one man’s hell being another man’s paradise…it’s a pleasant little song for what it’s worth but for a come-back single after a five year absence it’s a little underwhelming and it doesn’t incite much excitement to start the album…”Something In The Dark” follows up immediately afterwards and here we have this incredibly light, bubbly pop track…musically it sounds like it’s taken influence from modern dance-pop records, lacking only in pace, and the chorus here suffers from being a little flat really, it works as a nice, simple pop song but little else. With “Wonderman” then we’re finally met with some chugging riffs and you’re lead to believe that the album is going to come to life here but, the idea is shot down as the track descends into a soft ballad and it’s massively disappointing…and here we find the album’s primary flaw.

While we know Lauri’s vocals aren’t exactly the strongest, they’ve never been an aggressive rock band…but…we do know they can churn out an absolte banger and he’s capable of delivering, I’ve already mentioned “In The Shadows”, but they also have “Guilty” in their repertoire and hell, just listen to “Life Burns!” with APOCALYPTICA…they can do it, but this album is bereft of life, or even a point at times… despite having certain easy listening qualities, such as the funk driven “Crystalline” and the frankly Eurovision-esque “Delirium” providing an album highlight in all of its catchy pop splendour, the rest of the album is annoyingly lacklustre. “Empire” for whatever reasons deemed acceptable in production utilises a god-awful kazoo-like effect that you’d possibly find in a clichéd R’n’B track…it’s actually horrendous…while “Black Days” and “Dragons Into Dreams” are for whatever reason content with boring the listener into a coma more effectively than an opioid overdose…this album simply fails to inspire on many levels and it’s just an absolute shame…even from a pop music perspective this is relatively half-arsed and lifeless and to make the point clearer, there’s more substance to the last LINKIN PARK record, and look how that was received. Dark matters? Well, this album sadly doesn’t. [3]